#257 – Just asking questions

14 06 2013

The bogan is perpetually curious. As the world rockets from dial-up porn to broadband porn to live-streaming HD NBN porn, from Carlisle to Gaga to Skrillex, from real politicians to ‘female’ politicians, it can all get a bit much, and the bogan periodically needs to take stock and assess the state of the universe.

So it Asks Questions.

Powered by an overwhelming desire to know The Truth, the bogan will diligently Ask Questions about the things that are troubling it in this crazy ol’ world.

“Oh, so you’re coming back from maternity leave?”

“What even are male hairdressers?”

Something something slush fund?”

“Ashby inquiry now?”

“This criminal government?”

The bogan embarks on a one-eyed pursuit of truth

The bogan will also, being the generous, community-minded soul that it is, Ask Questions on behalf of other bogans. It understands that not everyone has the ability to take their Important Questions That Need Answering to the proper forums, so will shoulder the monumental burden themselves.

Sometimes these bogans are, of course, Shock Jocks.

In pursuing Answers to these important Questions, perhaps then the bogan can clairify – even confirm – what it knew all along, shortly after it stopped pretending to have elected Australia’s first female Prime Minister, that she’s actually a misandrist bitch who stands against everything the bogan represents. Clearly, if the Questions are True, and her partner is a (sotto voce) ‘homosexual’, then all of this is proven, no?

These kindly, caring bogans will fearlessly pursue The Truth with their Questions. A voracious reader of Derrida and Foucault, the bogan knows that it cannot simply make assertions, as there are many forms of truth. But it needs to search.

“Tim’s gay. that’s not me saying it. But you hear it. He must be gay, he’s a hairdresser. It’s not me saying it. It’s what people…”

And now, having Asked Questions on behalf of people (bogans) the bogan can take a brief holiday, before resuming its job with higher ratings than before.


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19 responses

14 06 2013
Russell

Nice. this blog needs more bogany updates!

Thanks – it really is a factor of laziness and running-out-of-jokes-ness. TBL

19 06 2013
The Jester

Would Lady Gaga be worth writing about as one of those things bogans like? If she’s ceased to be relevant, fair enough, but if not, go for it – for the femme bogue, she’s become something of a role model, between the skimpy clothes, multiple tatts, bad hair, too much make-up and mouth like a sewer, not to mention the obsession with fame, and male bogans dig her again because of the skimpy clothes but more so because of the heavy accent on sexuality, namely she gives the impression of being kinky and gagging for it, not to mention the way she portrays herself as enjoying men treating her in a degrading manner a la typical porn.

1 07 2013
BSWAM

I am no great fan of Lady Gaga, but her whole persona is basically a surrealist assault on the above. Everything from the “skimpy clothes” to the “bad hair” is carefully designed to provoke heavily ironic revulsion rather than sexual attraction, and her only convincing erotic displays deal with male and female homosexual roles.

4 07 2013
The Jester

Duly noted, but any irony is completely lost on the bogan (who, thanks to that stupid Alanis Morissette song, thinks “ironic” means “unfortunate”), and the very word “surrealist” is beyond the bogan’s comprehension, never mind the concept the word conveys. Hence, the femme bogues want to be her, and the male bogans want to have that “maxxxtreme” sex they’re convinced she’s into.

14 06 2013
djm

As with most things related to opinion media, Frontline was there first. http://t.co/OtR6Ka5lYC

14 06 2013
RobertL

Known in some places as JAQ-ing off.

“Hey, I don’t think that he’s gay, I’m just asking questions!”

14 06 2013
Fran

Um, I was under the impression that they actually ask Kestions. :)

30 06 2013
andrewfx51

*arks kestions

14 06 2013
CaarntBeGlassed

Even worse is when they’re just asking THE question. On everyone’s lips (but hey, not mine). Like ‘Who’s in the Big Brother House’.

14 06 2013
Smokebelch

Haha. Well said. Oh Howard what a twat

14 06 2013
Wy-Boge

and the best bit? idiot got sacked!

15 06 2013
Davo

How sad that the bogan queen has diminished the profile of PM so badly that bogans now treat the PM with such disrespect. I don’t like her and would never vote for her but some respect must be shown to the leader of the nation no matter how disrespectful she has been to the nation.
It was not a good week for Labor. Hell, they haven’t had a good week since 1989, but this was particularly embarrassing for the nation.

15 06 2013
Davo

Who be the pirate in the photo arrr. He looks to be more scallywag than straightcoat…..arrr. Maybe the PM should stick to fellow bogans like her new friend Kyle Sandilands.

18 06 2013
Beeky

Aye me hearties, thar be lots o’ me ol’ goat-Brylcreem-farties who be needin’ to walk the plank…

“Be we not extinct yet already but?”

6 07 2013
Floyd

A worthy post today. I think the concept of ‘respect’ could do with the TBL treatment. It seems very elastic and a good way for bogan tv presenters to disapprove of things on behalf of bogans without giving any actual reasons – other than that you should, you know, ‘show some respect’. Thus we had bogan tv types telling the PM off for imagined breaches of ‘royal protocol’ that the British Royal Family themselves didn’t seem fussed about, and Kochie, in man-of-thought mode, telling women to show some ‘class’ and not breast feed in public, as distinct from the umpteen ‘women in bikinis/undies’ stories on his godawful show.
I respect TBL for slowing down rather than grinding out bad material, but there are still acts of rampant boganity out there, so I hope they don’t give up completely.

19 07 2013
Pandabater

I also have questions.
Who are Derrida & Faucault.
Are they in a backline somewhere?
I’m confused.
So here’s a Haiku.

Is ‘e a poofta?
I knew it in me waters
Carnt fucken fool me

19 07 2013
Pandabater

I also have questions.
Who are Derrida & Foucault.
Are they in a backline somewhere?
Have I posted this twice?
I’m confused.
So here’s a Haiku

Is ‘e a poofta
I knew it in me waters
Carnt fcken fool me

20 07 2013
BillinKL

“Tim’s gay. that’s not me saying it. But you hear it. He must be gay, he’s a hairdresser. It’s not me saying it. It’s what people…”
That would be Piers Ackerman shoving both feet into his mouth on the Insiders.

25 10 2013
Bogan Spotter

I think that to use the term “elected” to discribe Julia Gillard’s dysfunctional reign as PM is drawing a rather long bow.

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