An excellent question. It is time to bring to the world’s attention the means by which we can keep the world’s bogans happy. The word bogan has had a bad rap of late – still associated with wife beaters, flannelette, VB, utes and mullets. But this conceals the new, modern bogan. The bogan with money. The bogan with aspirations. The bogan with Ed Hardy t-shirts. And this is no mere Australian phenomenon – in the US, you have rednecks, in the UK, chavs. While there are variations, the crux of the discussion remains the same.
The bogan today defies income, class, race, creed, gender and logic. The bogan is defined by what it does, what it says and, most importantly, what it buys. Those who choose to deny the bogan on the basis of their North Shore home, their stockbroking career or their massive trust fund choose not to see the bogan. They merely see old class battles revisited. Likewise, the bogan is no mere ‘tradie’. Even if tradies remained low-income workers, many bogans are affluent. And they set themselves apart by their efforts to stand out by conforming as furiously, and conspicuously, as possible.
Here at Things Bogans Like, we want to make your visit as pleasant as possible. Considering that you’ve already decided whether you like us or not, we’ve streamlined the process to enable you to get the validation that you require from your web browsing experience. Please select your affirmation from the options below. Reading more than one will break the internet.
If you need confirmation that we’re arseholes
We who are responsible for this are not self-aware bogans. We are not like Woody Allen making Jewish jokes. We are snobs. Hipsters. We mock these people out of sheer spite and an infuriating sense of self-superiority. We are very young, very white, and total arseholes. And that’s how we like it.
If you need confirmation that we’re lovely
We who are responsible for this are self-aware bogans. We are like Woody Allen making Jewish jokes. We are not snobs. Not hipsters. We not mock these people out of sheer not spite and a not infuriating sense of not self-superiority. We are not very young, not very white, and not total arseholes. And that’s how we not like it.
If you like reading chunks of text that have been fed through four online language translations (English>Spanish>French>Greek>English)
Who are persons in charge of this they are not bogans in deed. We are not as Woody Allen that returns juives jokes. We are snobs. Inconformistas. We outside imitate in them worlds from the bitterness escarpé and d’? a meaning of fury self-superiority. Very new sums, same I supplement globally void, and arseholes. AND celui-là it is how we have his flavour.
Media requests for comment: firstname.lastname@example.org