#201 – Palazzo Versace Australia

8 12 2010

The Anglo bogan was generally unimpressed by the southern European bogan back at school. The wogan, as it were, was more interested in soccer than rugby or Aussie rules, and it put an excessive amount of effort into sculpting its hair. But we live in strange times. During 2010, bogans of all stripes boarded the World Cup bandwagon, and acknowledgement of the bogan-enhancing powers of hair product has become almost universal. Another thing that the increasingly homogenised camps of bogans now jointly recognise is that there is one hotel in Australia that is superior to all others. One that can no longer serve drinks in glasses.

Brandishing a frightening triumvirate of Italian, high-fashion branding and nationalism, the Palazzo Versace Australia (PVA) “fashion-branded hotel” is the most bogan destination in the history of modern hospitality. Marketed as having more stars than the Southern Cross , it neatly captures all of the bogan’s aspirations within one Neoclassical shit-warehouse aptly situated right next door to Sea World. The bogan, regardless of its homophobia, has eagerly embraced Gianni Versace’s flamboyant and showy designs, a legacy continued by his orange sister, whose flesh is currently the target of a hostile takeover by botox in order to possess a controlling stake in her face. The Versace company doesn’t even own 1% of this hotel, but does receive substantial licensing royalties.

While the bogan would likely be upset that PVA is 49% owned by a principal shareholder of something called the “Emirates Global Islamic Bank”, the PVA is the frothing blowhole of all things ‘celebrity’ in the Queensland area. Having housed many an actual celebrity, including bogan-tested favourites P!nk (who cut her 2009 stay short, after fans got past security and shoved notes under the door of her room), U2, The Rolling Stones and some others who have access to a private jet, the bogan is reassured that staying at the Palazzo Versace is sure to further its own baseless bid to be a celebrity. Of course, no truly boganic destination is complete without multiple adequately foreign sounding restaurants (Le Jardin, Il Barocco, Vie, Vanitas), Imperial suites (10), private marina (90 berth) and condominiums (72). Of particular interest to the bogan is the “Red alert” package, which includes breakfast and a maxtreme jetski ride from just $999 per night. At the conclusion of its stay, the bogan reserves the right to return home and complain about the cost of its mortgage.

But there’s no point erecting such a shimmering monument to modern boganity unless there are bogan things going on inside. The Palazzo Versace is used for red carpet launches by the Indy Car organisers, V8 Supercar organisers, and regular nightclub nights by the creators of Manpower and Summafieldayze. At the staff Christmas party last year, a 22 year old woman was sentenced to 18 months jail for glassing a 21 year old woman. A reality tv creative director has also decked out the hotel for events, and gushed “I’m like ‘Can I get 100 statues and ornaments and spray paint them black?’ …  `yes’.” The bogan is glad to know that it can spend $395 to get a ticket to the Palazzo Versace 2010 New Year’s Eve party, featuring entertainment from Australian Idol finalists. It found out via the “Palazzo Versace VIP” facebook group, which is open to bogans nationwide.


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291 responses

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Dress Code for the New Years Party – Masked Rock Couture !!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Surely Gene Simmons can see a schilling opportunity here?

8 12 2010
TheBattlersPrince

I’m curious as to what equates for Masked Rock Couture, as I have almost no idea what it is, having never heard it before…I thought “Smart Casual” was the modus operandi for any Boganic event, sans Year 12 formal and/or their own wedding day (I’m sure many exceptions to the rule apply)…

8 12 2010
p'bee

i think they just chose three words they thought sounded suitably clarsy and maxxxtreme.

8 12 2010
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8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

People may confuse us.

8 12 2010
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8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

I’m in!

8 12 2010
9 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thats some reallly bad swelling they have Hel.

10 12 2010
Hopster

guys and gals – please try this.

http://bit.ly/

8 12 2010
Fiona of Carlton

Sounds like another way to say Ed Hardy to me!

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I reckon it’s like Lady Gaga.
so I could go in Meat.
even better than the time I wore a suit and and my converse to the Cointreu Ball.

we were just crazy back then.

8 12 2010
Shirley

Just last week I was researching accommodation at the PVA. I didn’t notice the ‘Red Alert’ package though.

I love the tags today.

8 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Your kidding right. Only in QLD.

8 12 2010
RobertL

No Simon – only on the Gold Coast. Even the rest of us Queenslanders look down on “the GC”.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Thanks a lot. I grew up here for the last 25 years and I take issue with people equating the GC with Surfers, Main Beach, and the theme parks. There are 500 000+ people living from the beach to the border to the mountains, rurals, bush suburbs, suburbs and hinterland (yes, we don’t live in Surfers- our city is incredibly textured), and 490 000 of them would never be caught dead there.

The Gold Coast offers a blend of quiet country, bustling shops, close proximity to the cultural fruits of the state capital, and many opportunities for employment and education.

And yes, I have lived in other parts of the state. I found them to be far more bogan than the Gold Coast.

8 12 2010
James Hunter

Bustling shops? how quaint full of japanese shop assistants serving japanese visitors I suppose.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

You haven’t been here then. Or you’ve just been to Surfers and not seen the other 95% of the place.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

FACT – it’s like bashing one’s head against the wall, isn’t it GCer? My friend was asked by her Sydney friend what the postcode of the Gold Coast was – when questioned where, the response was “Surfers, where you live” – she lived at Currumbin.

9 12 2010
GoldCoaster

True! People form a stereotypical image of a place, and no matter how an informed person might try to supply information contrary to the preconceived notion, people cling to their precious ignorance. I think TBL did a part on it, to do with anti-intellectualism and others…

8 06 2011
snob

i feel your pain goldcoaster.

god forbid people realise there actually is a lovely city beyond surfers paradise, where yes, the BOGANS holiday by choice. like locals would even bother with that place.

ive seen more fake tan and fake boobs in sydney and melbourne than i have here.

9 12 2010
rilla

well the CBD/Esp. is about as violently bogan as cronulla, which more than makes up the perception. Don’t worry tho – china will crash soon and the highly leveraged CUB’s will disappear. Maybe then one could actually raise a family near the beach. Plus, they should just cut centrelink completely off the GC zone. This is about the only way I’d move there from brissy.

14 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Yes, cut their Centrelink and then they can leave our cities alone!

5 01 2011
Ash - Maxxtreme To The Maxx

Oi, my turn to take offence. Cronulla is only 99% bogan during the holiday season – even I stay away from the beach then and I live 10 minutes away.

The rest of the year, it’s only about 60% bogan and during winter it’s just the hardcore surfers, most of whom aren’t bogan at all.

5 01 2011
p'bee

bogan or no, cronulla is always pretty insular. most people hide their dislike of having to share ‘their’ beach, but that possessiveness is always there.
the beaches are great, and being from st george they’re the beaches i go to, but there is that shire attitude many people have down there.

30 06 2011
Pete Bondurant

Even Baghdad probably has “nice bits”. Doesn’t mean it isn’t a shit-hole. I’m sorry, while I’m sure there are many noble exceptions such as yourself, The Gold Coast is infested with dickheads and is the destination of choice for shit-munchers nation-wide. Surfer’s on a saturday night makes Oxford St in Sydney look like a wine tasting.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Only southerners refer to the Gold Coast as “Qld”! I don’t visit Melbourne or Sydney for the weekend and refer to either as “Victoria” or “New South Wales”…

8 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

C,mon, that’s like Adelaide trying to disown Elizabeth. We would love to but it’s part of the state and we are stuck with it.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

I never claimed the Gold Coast was anywhere but Queensland – it’s just bogan to say “Qld” and expect everyone to think “Gold Coast” (luckily for you, bogans do presume this so they know what you mean) – it’s a bloody big state!

8 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

It was more along the lines of only QLD could come up with the Gold Coast. I did live there for a while so have some insight. Every state has it’s embarrassments.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Ah, it’s not that bad. It would have been better if the bogan-dollar milkers left it alone.

8 12 2010
Sandgroper

Surely that should be “South-easterners.”

NSW/Vic are not “southerners” to us.

The nation’s geography is not based on Queenslanders’ perception.

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

So… does Qld=Gold Coast (only and obviously) to you?

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

only in the way that “Perth” means all of WA

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

haha – doesn’t to me.
And don’t you mean saying WA and meaning Perth, of we’re making comparisons?

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

if*

14 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Don’t worry, Far North Qlders think all of SE QLD is Brisbane.

14 12 2010
James Hunter

goldcoaster,
problem is the goldcoast is like a street whore. parades with all its wares on show so it is hard to immagine that it sings in the church choir at weekends even if it does.

14 12 2010
GoldCoaster

I’ll conceed to you there James. The Gold Coast, for most people, is about the “showy display of one’s means of life.” I don’t go in for that, I just keep my head down and live a normal life.

8 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I bet f*cking Powderfinger play there soon, on their reunion tour.

8 12 2010
Samuel L Wombat

I love visiting the trawlers, right next door to PVA. I sit on a picnic table overlooking the Broadwater with my fresh prawns while those wankers in their suites look out their windows at me.

8 12 2010
Mick

Another reason why I haven’t been to the Gold Coast for ten years. Although, this may change. I hear on the wind there may be three park superpasses galore at the family christmas gathering.

I had a femme-bogue friend who spent a night at the palazzo. She described it to me and I made the mistake of saying it sounded a bit tacky. She quite assuredly informed me that it was the classiest joint she’d ever set foot in. Looking back now I realise it probably was…and that’s sad.

8 12 2010
Pendant

Yeah, it’s as tacky as you might imagine. Plastic columns and kitschy ‘Roman’ features out the wazoo

8 12 2010
Mick

I’ve always imagined it as being like the ‘Caligula Room’ at a low-btow knock shop.

8 12 2010
James Hunter

nope, knock shops have more taste. they want their clients to come again (sic)

8 12 2010
Mick

That sounds like an Ugly Dave Gray joke.

Wasn’t he a Gold Coast resident?

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Visit Currumbin and Tugun for a nice, laid back Gold Coast holiday, or some of the mountain retreats at Springbrook and Tamborine. The Gold Coast is NOT just Surfer’s and PVA. Head south for some more ye olde type family fun.

8 12 2010
Mick

Yeah, I do go south. All the way to Yamba. There’s a spot to surf, chill out and relax.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

oohhh Yamba is beautiful!

8 12 2010
Mick

Yep, that’s where I’m gonna crawl to die.

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

mosquitoes are nasty at Yamba.

8 12 2010
James Hunter

Mick,
Yaamba though hot is cool.

9 12 2010
Mick

JH, Yaamba near Rockhampton? I spent a night their back in my bogan days. Still not sure if I enjoyed it or not.

9 12 2010
James Hunter

Mick ,looking at it on google earth it does not seem to have changed since the sixtys the latter part of which is when i was last there. back then the bruce highway was a typical qld crystal highway and in yaamba the pub the servo the butcher and the general store all fitted windscreens.!

9 12 2010
Mick

The highway is still dodgy between Rocky and Marlbourough. Not for windscreen losses but for cars going underneath trucks. But I’ve had many a nice night night in my swag on the veranda of the Marlbourough pub after a good steak and cold beer.

9 12 2010
Mick

oh, and the pub and servo still there…don’t know about the butcher.

The park now has a driver reviver kiosk…I can see growth ruining the ambience of this fine community.

9 12 2010
Benny Hill

We even have Little Auckland. It’s called Upper Coomera. Very cultured.

Pity we can’t claim Nimbin as part of the Gold Coast.

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Haha – hmmm… cultured indeed. Are culture and crime rate proportional?

9 12 2010
James Hunter

maybe it is cultured because it is full of Kiwis ?

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

culchedd Cuz

8 12 2010
RR

Best TBL in a while.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

sounds like something the fourth earl of plymouth would say

9 12 2010
Tombarina

I was a little disturbed myself. But the avatar is ever so diff…

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

maybe it’s time you got a pretty new frock…
it’s ever so easy.

8 12 2010
MeAgain

I bet Warrick Crapper stays there too.

8 12 2010
Nelson Esq

I surely would seem the type of place Warwick Capper would like, but I don’t think he could afford to stay there at the moment. Isn’t he broke and whoring himself now? The only way he’d stay there is if one of his clients was staying there and had hired him for the night.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I think Edelstone still picks up Warwick’s tab in return for servicing the Hambeast.

9 12 2010
chris

hahaha…. “Bring out the gimp, Geoffrey.”

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

that’s even better!
“But the gimp’s sleepin’ Byrynne…”

8 12 2010
Pendant

Thank you TBL, you have provided me a most excellent opportunity to have a whinge. Early this year I was taken to a dinner event at the main dining area at Pallazo Whatever, as the partner of a hospitality professional for an industry event. You’d think that when serving a bunch of people who know the industry inside and out that your staff would want to be on their game… but you’d be wrong. I had both my dinner and desert forgotten by the waiters, and it was alternate drop! How do f*ck that up? If someone doesn’t have a meal, give him one! I was also abused by the up-herself “I’m too good to be waiting tables” waitress assigned to our table when I asked for the water to be refilled. Believe me, I wanted to take advantage of the free alcohol (cheapest wines in town, mind you) but I find the M1 between the Gold Coast and Brisbane dangerous enough when sober. The meals when I got them were pretty average too.

The clincher though was a raffle near the end. By attending you automatically got one entry in a draw with some decent prizes, and no extra tickets could be bought, so 1 in ca. 200 chance. For 3rd place, the hotel manager pulled out his daughter, and for 1st, his wife. Truly he knew no shame. I could’ve used a Hunter Valley holiday to make up for such an appalling experience. Luxury my ass.

8 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Pendant – You will need this

you

Good story though

8 12 2010
Shirley

Palazzo was incorrectly spelt, also.

Tsk tsk.

8 12 2010
Pendant

i guess thats the porblem with being a pendant every time u pos tsomeone is giong to call you out

8 12 2010
SD

That should read:

i guess thats the porblem with being a pedant every time u pos tsomeone is giong to call you out

8 12 2010
martin

Bogans love a good bit of theft don’t they. I remember being down the pub with my friends and the meat tray raffle was on. So we each bought a ticket and they were numbered in consecutive order with one number missing. Say I was number 68, one friend was 69, and the other 71. Guess which number won? Number 70.

Don’t ever buy meat tray raffle tickets.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

I’ve run hundreds of meat tray raffles to raise money for Variety, the Children’s Charity, and a lot of people insist on choosing their favourite numbers. Don’t be such a sore loser.
Also, the raffle isn’t about the prize, it’s about the donation to a good cause, with the chance of a prize. Go ahead and don’t buy tickets – best chance for you to be right when you claim you “never win anything!” next time.

9 12 2010
Benny Hill

Meat raffle at the local every Friday, free raffle ticket for every beer bought. Beauty of it is, that if you’re a regular you seem to get about 5 tickets for every beer. Won heaps of meat trays, pity they good enough to feed the dog and the rissoles are that bad you can use them as sinkers when fishing.

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Well that’s no fun! I sourced our meat trays from a veteran Variety Basher who owned and ran his own butchery. Premium everything – meat-lovers coveted them!

10 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Angus?

10 12 2010
AlyssaKT

haha Viv :)

8 12 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

…a 22 year old woman was sentenced to 18 months jail for glassing a 21 year old woman.

I was barely surprised. So fake, so grubby – oh so bogan. Great entry.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

This is possibly my favourite post so far.
Ever since it opened people have been flocking to it in an attempt to show just how much money they have to waste, in an attempt to look “über rich and shit”.
At maxxxtreme parties broken drink glasses have resulted in $350 replacement charges (per glass), and stolen bath robes upward of $1500…

When I worked as a bartender for the ” creators of Manpower and Summafieldayze” they would regularly fly up “Celebrities” (Neighbours stars and Big Brother rejects) and PVA was definitely the only hotel worth considering!

Metallica stayed there the other week too. Classy cunts

8 12 2010
Mick

Will Oprah be staying at this palazzo place? I’ve been listening to local radio. They’ve been crossing live to the airport every ten minutesor so to see if she has arrived or not.

I might go paint the neighbours cat orange and give them a real news story.

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

if you dunk the neighbour’s cat in a drum of diesel first, all it’s hair will fall out giving it a nice “leatherette” finish.
makes it easier to paint too.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

PVA is THE place for the aspirational Bogan. Notice that these Bogan visitors are often from interstate? The Gold Coast may draw them, but it is not them.

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

The only good thing about the Gold Coast is The Pink Poodle Motel – is it still there? I hope so.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

No, Viv, I’m sorry to report that the hotel was replaced – but the sign kept as a “national treasure” (haha) and a bar opened by the same name – that closed 6 months ago due to lack of patronage…

8 12 2010
Shirley

It was last time I was there, but that was a while ago.

The only good thing about the GC is the hinterland, which is very beautiful. The rest is a festering pustule.

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

That’s true, had many an adventure at Natural Arch as a youngun. Typical of the Gold Coast to rip down the Pink Poodle – it was the classiest place in town. At least they kept the sign. I’d put it on my house.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Not true. You just have to know where to go. Unfortunately for them and fortunately for the locals, visitors do not know where to go.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

That’s the pustule thing, not the Poodle thing. The Pink Poodle is a tourist institution.

8 12 2010
Shirley

I’ve lived in Brisbane for 13 years and spent a great deal of time on the GC. I stand by my claim.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Each to their own.

10 12 2010
Lola

“You just have to know where to go.” – the sham cry of the bogan hailing from an unattractive, unwanted place. I thought only Adelaide/Canberra people did this, but I guess I can add the Gold Coast. The irony is: by “having to know” where to go, you’ve immediately outed the destination. It’s the fact you “don’t need to know where to go” that makes cities like Melbourne and Sydney so great.

10 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Your comment is valid, Lola. However, I think it’s easy to come to the Gold Coast and not be surrounded by the bogans – just by avoiding Surfers Paradise. And exploring the place for yourself. It’s easy to do and there are lots of beautiful places, great food, and occasionally even some decent entertainment in intimate bars and restaurants.

14 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Hear, hear, Alyssa. Bogans only read the big, shiny ads for Surfers and the theme parks. Informed people make their own way around, do some research and see the good places. And that applies for everywhere. There’s lots of big, shiny attractions in Sydney too. I also know of a lot of awesome places there you won’t find in any brochure.

14 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Meh. I like Sydney and Melbourne, but I like the Coast too. Having local knowledge does not make one a bogan. Sure, the Coast ain’t perfect, but I live here and it does help to have local knowledge. I never tried to equate the Gold Coast with Sydney (incidentally, I come from the Eastern Suburbs) but I don’t like people constantly knocking it when they’ve only seen one bit of it.

8 12 2010
martin

Living on the northern beaches of Sydney whenever I’ve gone to the GC I don’t feel like I’ve gone anywhere.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

It changed its form, but it’s still there.

8 12 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I have always wondered why bogans flock to water. Is it so they can bare almost everything with their bedazzled bandaids covering their pink bits, and have the excuse that they are near the beach?
Seriously, wherever there is a body of water it is swamped with bogans lining up to build its McMansion right on the shore line.
It seems all the non bogues live up in the hills and look down over the bogans on the beach. I am always stunned by this.

8 12 2010
Shirley

I suspect it has something to do with the Australian way of life stereotype.

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

And on the Gold Coast, they built the canals so they could have more water to flock to and build more McMansions near…

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

The newer canals are attracting CU Bogans like there’s no tomorrow! The older ones are staunchly inhabited by crook business guys like Harvey Norman.

8 12 2010
Tone

Bogans don’t believe in climate change. I can’t wait until Surfers looks like Venice. Give it 50 years or so.

And yes, I live in some hills because I like looking down on bogans, too. The trouble is that our Hills have an adjacent bogan colony (Mount Barker). I think we’ve mentioned them before.

9 12 2010
GoldCoaster

LOL “Bogan colony”.

8 12 2010
evil bastard

have belatedly caught up with total versace decor – bogue living. you can get versace ornaments, versace taps, versace door handles & drawer pulls, versace bottles for unguents & cosmetics, versace linen, versace candelabra, sandblasted versace shower screens, versace crockery & cutlery, versace bathrobes & slippers, & many, many more taste-free articles to adorn one’s house. was horrified to go to a party at such a den of boguedom last week

8 12 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I suspect that is true.
I saw it all over Australia, but especially in QLD and WA.
The south west of WA is magnificent forestry with acres and acres of land and every mofo was stacked on the coast near the city.
The same in QLD, as you said the Hinterland is beautiful, but all the bogues are on the coast. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. I’m glad they are all in one spot so I am sure to avoid them when possible.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Agreed! That’s one thing I love about living here- it’s relatively easy to avoid bogan enclaves.

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

While we’re knocking my home, I will give you this: I hate the fakeness of the place. There is this pervasive culture of vanity. I lived in Cairns for a couple of years, and while I thought the place was a vile crime-infested swamp, it was a relief to be away from the fake tans, fake blonde, fake tits, too much makeup, skanky clothes and SUVs.

8 12 2010
Mick

Cairns has become all that and more…the best of both worlds now.

Cairns, Cairns, Cairns, oi, oi,oi!

8 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Goodness me, it’s changed rapidly!! I only left there in 2007. Go Cairns.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

and the “materialistic, superficial, gold-digging whores”

8 12 2010
Shazza

Or the Gold Coast Matrons; the old and whithered faux socialites with the dreadful, excruciating vocal effectation that — in their minds — sounds posh-n-clarsy, but really sounds more like drag-queen-meets-failed-elocution-student. “Excuuuuuuuuuussssse meeeeeee….” is how these old tarts below when they address waitstaff as they work up an imagined transgression that will give them any excuse to belittle the waiter (or preferably, a waitress) for the amusement of their equally withered peers.

They do this as they live it not-so-large on a divorce settlement. The have never worked a hard day in their lives because they married when they were young and perky and spent those idle-rich days working on their tans and working their husbands into the ground so they could acquire the must-haves for their social climbing on the so-called glitter strip.

They all wear the same uniform; white cullottes with a white v-neck pull on blouse featuring a nautical motif highlighting the leathery décolletage, the gold shoes, the matching gold handbag, the layers of gold-toned costume jewelery, the lacquered talons featuring faded gemstones on the rings they bear as the Trophies of Husbands Past, the blonded hair either bobbed or worn in a too-tight pig-tail in a forlorn attempt to lift sagging facial skin and, or course, the cat’s arse mouth painted a matt red that exaggerates the lack of youthful plumpness.

9 12 2010
James Hunter

Shagga,
wonder what your mirror will reveal as the years go by ?

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Haha – well done, Shazza! Of course they will frequent Tedder Avenue. I call them “Main Bleach women”.
You forgot the giant sunglasses with gaudy gold designer logos on the sides, and little white lap dogs carried in designer bags.
They’ve come a long way from Sylvania Waters…

9 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Yes, who can forget them? Where I live teams with them. Or, you can have fun spotting them down at the Ferry Road Markets where everything is double the price of the same produce in the supermarkets.

9 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Oh, and the leopard print. They loooooove leopard print clothes. The resort wear’s been out of vogue for awhile. But it’s been replaced by leopard print. And collagen-deformed lips with the linings hideously coloured, and face appearing swollen from hours of microdermabrasion and botox.

10 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Ole freckle tits we call them. or Kerrie Ann Kennely

8 12 2010
bellastarkey

I have stayed a night at this shithole.

I couldnt sleep the whole night because the bed was like a sack of potatoes.

There were creepy german tourists and drunk chicks on thier hens weekend.

It was really strange because the rooms were tiled, not carpeted.

and when i left a shoe in my room they charged for postage. which, when your rooms cost that much is kinda bullshit.

I was there for work and my boss tried to grab my tits before dinner, i put a cigarette out on his hand. He was a real cashed up bogan.

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Before dinner? What a liberty.

8 12 2010
Teddy Hardays

There is a simple rule to completely remove credibility of a profession simply putting 2 words in front. Compare:
Doctor
Gold Coast Doctor

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

However:

Stripper
Gold Coast Stripper

What happened? We expect better quality this time.

8 12 2010
Tone

Paedophile
Gold Coast Paedophile

… um, nup. Still as bad.

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

But just as credible

8 12 2010
James Hunter

or did you mean edible ?

9 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Isn’t the Gold Coast variant often known as a Toolie?

I’m certain, that if given half a chance, they’d prefer to violate the orifices of some barely pubescent youngblood, rather than the mere 16 to 18 year old newly-graduated girlies that flood the joint every November.

You see, the bogan does indeed seek knowledge, but that of the unlawful carnal kind.

9 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

By the way, here you go toolies: before you go to Surface Paradise to prey on jailbait, suck on this.

8 12 2010
Whistling Nixie

Kidnapping victim
Gold Coast kidnapping victim

I know, that was Fairlie lame…

9 12 2010
GoldCoaster

Nah, that’s Brisbane.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

crime syndicate.
gold coast crime syndicate.

In this instance, one is actually the Police force.

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

When I go to Vegas in April, I’m planning to go the Versase Shop at the Forum, just like Nomi Malone:

http://www.reelzchannel.com/trailer-clips/51893/showgirls-clip

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I must object in the strongest possible terms to commenters equating all of Qld. with the gold coast.
As pointed out by my beautiful wife Edna and Erudite Cashed Up Non Bogan Miner Mick, pretty much any major population centre in Qld is a bogan hub.

for mine, this is the epicentre:

http://www.abovephotography.com.au/aerial-photos/queensland/sunshine-coast/Kawana-Island/

http://www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au/story/2007/09/15/kawana-island/

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

more quality fucking journalism from the Sunshine Coast Daily.

8 12 2010
Mick

You know what shits me about this? Bogans believe the crap about ‘lifestyle’ and ‘value’ and ‘dreams. Well, I’ve had enough. i’m calling the end of the NaB in two years time. They’re gone. I shall explain…

There is a financial shitstorm around the world. Italy, Spain and Portugal are about to join Greece and Ireland. The EU is rooted. That happens to be China’s biggest market…a country which has it’s own internal financial problems. Where do we sell our dirt? Yep, my job doesn’t look good either. The banks won’t be able to get money to lend out. And that’s where the NaB will suffer.

The NaB’s conspicuous consumption is based on credit. If it can’t get anymore or, God forbid, have to pay it back, it’ll implode. No point existing if you can’t show off. They’ll drive their chevodores off cliffs at the Goldy. And good riddance.Tthis will take a couple of years. I fully believe this is why the Mayan calandar ends in 2012. A fresh beginning. Without bogans.

And to finish with a song. A wonderful song performed by the best artist of my time. Ladies and gentleman, I give you…

MR…ELVIS…PRESLEY…*backs off stage applauding wildly*

8 12 2010
Mick

bugger

8 12 2010
Mick

see if this one works

8 12 2010
Mick

I give up

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

I think he looked better in the leather! Good song choice too:)

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

it all works mick.
and if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing twice.
Take Wagga Wagga for example.

and also, Yes. the whole thing is fu#ked.
continued exponential growth is it’s own end.
if we drown in our own shit or fry in our own fat it’s all the same.
after it all collapses I am going to become rich and famous by reinventing the wheel.

now, if you’ll all excuse me, I’m off to catch up with my mates and get seeeeeeeeeriously wasted.
on a Wednesday.

9 12 2010
GoldCoaster

The sad truth is, that anywhere you will find large concentrations of Australians you will find a percentage of bogans and bogan enclaves. We are witnessing history, folks!

10 12 2010
Lola

I notice the old AbovePhotography suburb list is a proxy for all places bogun. Most of Queensland’s in there of course, a bit of NSW and Adelaide too. Note Victoria is not represented, but I daresay we’ll see metastases soon, and WA can’t be far away.

8 12 2010
Nelson Esq

They say ignorance is bliss. Up until now, I was in bliss as I had no idea this place actually existed. Although I should thank TBL for informing everyone of another place to avoid like the plague.

TBL, I noticed that you used the the word ‘wogan’ in this post. Having personally first used the term on No. 63 Formal Living Areas. See entry M E Nelson Esq (13:58:14) I was wondering if this is official recognition of the word ‘wogan’ and if it has now become common venacular, at least amongst the TBL community? Have I invented a word?

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

AAAARRGGH!
stop saying f#cking WOGAN!
Jesus!

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

don’t we hate Bogans for racial slurs?
why are we doing it?

8 12 2010
SD

So bogan is not a slur then?

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

no.
it’s an epithet.
and it’s based in something people can choose to change.

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I have posted this before…
My Wife is from Lebanese and English stock.
My ancestry is Welsh and French.
If we have a child and it grows up and chooses to be a bogan, what shall we call it?

We shall call it a Fu#king BOGAN!!!

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Not International Bogue of Mystery?

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

well possibly that too…

8 12 2010
SD

umm, seems like semantics to me. like a slur may be a racial epiteth.

Viv, spot on as usual!

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

semantics aside.
boganity is a choice.
as is religon.
ethnicity, sexuality, race, disability are not.

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

all my other comments are in moderation.
Just be reasonable people.
And do it My way.

8 12 2010
SD

True.

But it doesn’t follow that use of any words related to ethnicity, sex etc. automatically implies that you are prejudiced. Or that it must be all expunged from public discourse. Certainly on these boards a number of colorful terms are employed for women of a certain kind shall we say and no one cares.

Its also a tad patronising. The ethnics are not delicate sorts who will wilt under name calling. They probably have a few of their own.

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’m happy to attack (what I perceive to be bad choices.

I have seen many effniks more than wilted by prejudice.

xenophobia sucks.
“fear is the little death which brings total oblivion”
Frank Herbert

8 12 2010
SD

We had a charming Hindi rhyme in school which likened dark skin to an ugly eggplant.

Even then we looked down on these idiots and their complete lack of creativity. None of us ran out for a fairness cream. Mostly you just enter into the rough and tumble and emerge the better for it. So I think.

But I guess it can mar lives – and it seems to be particularly bad here.

8 12 2010
Tone

Woganity, like boganity, is a choice. You could lump wogans in with bogans, but to do this would be doing a disservice to the Wogan.

There are some subtle, yet pointed, differences:

A bogan drives a Chevodore. A wogan drives a BMW 318i M3 or Mercedes-Benz C180 Kompressor AMG.

A bogan has a Grand Sitting Area. A wogan has a Good Lounge. Bogans take the plastic off their furniture in the Grant Sitting Area; wogans do not.

Bogans have AFL and NRL; wogans have soccer.

Bogans are judged on how many Ed Hardy t-shirts they own; wogans are judged on how many investment properties they own.

Bogans glass cunts; wogans use hit men to shoot them.

So, you see why it’s not racist to separate bogans and wogans. Indeed, if I were a wogan and someone mistook me for a bogan, I’d take a hit out on them.

8 12 2010
hel

I have heard the term ‘wogan’ used for many years, my Italian mates refer to themselves thusly. Does that still make it racist? If ‘wogan’ is racist does that mean ‘wigga’ is also racist? Wigga is great, white boys throwing gang signs and dressed in Sean John, nothing funnier.

9 12 2010
Nelson Esq

Tone, you described a wogan brilliantly. They love their designer brands, especially Italian ones. They also love to be dripping in assessories such as sunglasses, handbags and tacky looking gold jewellery. Young Gen Y wogan must own a Ferrari F1 cap or jacket.

A wogan (whilst often of southern European land tilling peasant stock) will also always see themselves as more superior, cultured and classier by virtue of their European background than bogan and non-bogan ‘descended from convicts’ Australians.

8 12 2010
James Hunter

Chubby, for it to be a choice infers both cognition and self awareness.
Are these realy present in the bouge in sufficient quantities. ?

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

bogans have self awareness in spades.
Bogans are incapable of being aware of anyone else’s reality.
hence the problem.

8 12 2010
James Hunter

agree ,but are they aware that they are bouges?

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

james.
they are aware and they are proud.
they just don’t call it that.

8 12 2010
v'visexxxion

I use it as a term of endearment.

8 12 2010
Dgusten

No, we hate bogans for starting sentences with “I’m not racist, but…”

Now, I’m not racist, but I like the word “wogan”.

(PS Nels, I don’t reckon you invented the word if you only used it in Jan this year – surely it’s been around longer than that?)

8 12 2010
Nelson Esq

Wogan was not used on TBL before my post and if it was in use elsewhere either verbally or in print before I posted, I was never aware of it. Wogan just came to me as I was actually writing the post and I intended it to be a humourous play on words, in the same manner as when I used ‘Douchebogue’ several TBL blogs back.

8 12 2010
Tombarina

Nelson, the magnificent ‘douchebogue’ is yours, but you’ll have to take a pass on ‘wogan':

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wogan

8 12 2010
Nelson Esq

I stand corrected Tomba. The urban dictionary has had it listed since March 2008, almost 2 years before my Jan 2010 post.

I feel like that guy (whose name nobody can remember – including me) who also independently came up with the theory of evolution at the same time as Charles Darwin, only to have Darwin publish his work first and take all the credit!

8 12 2010
Dgusten

Don’t worry – I wasn’t accusing you of pretending you’d made it up. I just reckon I had heard it before the start of the year – it was no doubt an independent discovery.

No offence, but it’s not “that” clever, so it’s quite likely that a few people have come up with it independently…

8 12 2010
Dgusten

Ah, thanks Tombarina.

Meanwhile, douchebogue is indeed magnificent, Nels…

11 12 2010
Lola

Nelson, sorry, it’s not new. I’ve used it for a few years (and think I’ve used it on this site too), as has a group of friends I socialise with. This is in Melbourne…we know what we’re talking about when it comes to wogs.

8 12 2010
Nelson Esq

Apologies chubby, I know you hate the term and have made the point clear on several occasions on the TBL site.

Is ‘wogan’ that racist though? Thanks to Nick Giannopolous et al and the whole ‘Wogs out of work / Wogboy thing, the word wog has been reclaimed and de-vilified. Wogs call themselves wogs and it is no longer offensive. Wouldn’t the same apply for wogan? Or can only a wogan use the word wogan for it not to be offensive?

Argueably, wogan is just another bogan sub-culture, just as much as Cashed Up Bogan, Bogue Nouveau, Old-School Bogan, Feral Bogan and Douchebogue and therefore all are as offensive as each other.

8 12 2010
Shirley

I would say this falls into the nigger category. Only niggers can call niggers niggers.

Is this going to be moderated?

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I used the words n1gger, f@ggot and c#rry in a post and it was killed.

8 12 2010
SD

It depends on the intent. And like you say words change in meaning over time.

Personally I find politely worded jabs on japs serving japs in GC to be worse.

I love douchebogue-its like one whole higher level of doucheness.

8 12 2010
Dgusten

Yep, all of the wogans I know describe themselves as a wog – in fact, I’d say that a “thing that wogans like” is regularly and proudly describing themselves as a wog. They’re in no way offended if you say it back to them.

(Many southern Europeans I know who aren’t bogans also happily call themselves wogs, but not with the same fervour, hence the lack of boganity/woganity).

They’d only be offended by being branded a “wogan” in that it implies that they’re a bogan. They wouldn’t take it as racism.

PS Do we have a word for gay bogans yet?

Gaygans? Gogans? Poofgans? Fagans? Faggogans?

Personally, I vote for homogans.

Not sure if a seperate word is needed for lesbian bogans (Lesbogans?)

(I ask this to point out that I too am a minority capable of having slurs/epiteths pitted at them, and that I’m happy for those to be incorporated with the word bogan to describe the sub-species).

9 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Queerogans

GLBTIIQOGANS

but i do like Homogans, except it ignores the trans community, so they can be Transogans, but what about the bisexuals you are wondering?, ok they can be Biogans, oh we forgot the intersex community – Intersexogans and finally, the Pansogans
Identity politics can take the fun out of everthing….

9 12 2010
SD

The beauty of the bogan word unlike chav or redneck is that like Hollywood it can be suffixed to anything. It has vast potential to go global.

So go ahead with all the variations!

9 12 2010
clipper

It’s amusing that bogan isn’t well known globally and that each country seems to have their own variant. It would be interesting to know some others (apart from chav and redneck), so that if we’re overseas discussing boganity, we can use the local lingo.

9 12 2010
Nelson Esq

Bogan is known and used in NZ, so the term is ‘international’ to a degree.

Oprah has apparently been taking lessons in “How to speak Australian’, so if you want the word ‘bogan’ to go international, why don’t we get someone to teach Orpah! She’ll have it blurted out on the American ariwaves in no time.

“Today in Oztralia, I met with some bogans…what are they? Can you please explain to me and everyone watching why you are a bogan?”

BTW, oprah receiving security arrangements normally used for heads of state…oh f*cking paahhh-leeeease!!! She’s a f*cking loud moth spin doctoring TV host, not a messiah / Dalai Lama / President / Royalty etc. She should have just been picked up at the airport by some sh1tbox Yellow Cab Falcon taxi with bald tyres…

20 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

awesome!
TBL on Oprah.
with the rubber mask. (who is that BTW?)
how about it boys? A shiny big “Oprah’s Book Club” for the book.

(if we say “fuck” that means you have to read it, right?)

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

we love you V’v

9 12 2010
martin

What about nerd bogans? Nogan? Pretty much all nerds are bogans in my experience. Ugly, bitter, arrogant, anal, can’t get laid, like to shout bogan a lot on the internet to show how cultured they are(n’t).

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

see… Nogan is fine.
though, you may be blurring it with Libtard,
but that’s not important right now (I say Vale Lesley Neilson)
sub categorizing bogans by behaviour is appropriate. this site is about behaviour. as we so often tout “bogan is as bogan does”. it’s not right to subridicule people for non choice factorage! “bogan” is enough.

” the non-bogan is blind to the depth of one’s tan and instead prefers to make its character assessments and self righteous judgements of observed behaviour, setting aside any preconceptions lest they blunt its acerbic wit in the moment of realisation; the pinnacle of the bogan hunt. The Killer Line.”

Mudlark et al. “The Non-Bogan Salvation Wave. Observed.” bloodfartpress. 2010.
pp347.
(italics mine)

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

fuck.
missed a tag in there somewhere.

I’m a Stonedgan.

9 12 2010
martin

Nah libtards are different. They do arts degrees and shit.

9 12 2010
p'bee

as a nerd i’d say that the virulent anti-intellectualism of bogans all but guarantees nerds will be rejected by most bogans. nerds can share bogan traits though, but they aren’t accepted by the bogue majority.

9 12 2010
martin

Yeah nah.

I still reckon most of them are nogans. Kind of like how italian/greek/whatever bogans and white bogans won’t really hang out together.

9 12 2010
SD

Oh Martin stop trolling.

Its clear you want us all to know that you are a republic of one and superior to everyone on the planet, an ogan if you will.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

:)
omniscigan

9 12 2010
martin

I don’t think being superior to most of the people on the planet is that big a deal. It just means you’re normal imo.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

word!
(wiggy!)
I’m not arrogant,
I’m just better than everybody else.
It will all be ok if you give in now and make me Emperor.

or God-Emperor is ok too.

9 12 2010
martin

Catholicism is the biggest relgiion in the world.
So in no way am I being profound. The complete opposite is so.

I AM superioer, even if only because I am not a catholic.

Yes, being empoerer wold be good, althougu I prefer the more modern term of dictator.

F$cken can’t see properly typing this.

9 12 2010
urbanreverie

My God, Martin! Is there a single segment of Australian society which is NOT subject to your withering disapproval? Libtards, vegetarians inter alia, and now nerds. If you keep this up, the number of people who you actually like will amount to zero (including yourself because I’m sure you probably belong to one minority or other which doesn’t meet the Martin Seal Of Approval).

So tell us, Martin – which population subgroups DO you like? :)

10 12 2010
martin

I like plenty of people.

10 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I think you are right. It is my long held and soundly proven theory that 95% of people are morons.

10 12 2010
AlyssaKT

95% of people can’t spell the word “definitely”.
Fact.

And that’s enough proof for me!

11 12 2010
Bag O' Turnips

@Alyssa KT

Those are the selfsame types who misuse apostrophesand misspell kernels with an A.

So much for sending their spoilt sprogs to private schools…

8 12 2010
hel

Nelson, no matter where it came from, you really embiggened the discussion with your cromulent arguement. Props and kudos.

9 12 2010
Shazza

Santo Cilauro from the ABC’s The Late Show also took ownership of “wog” , for an example, this sketch:

There was also a mockumentary featuring Cilauro as fictional celebrity who had somehow taken the intellectual property rights to the word “wog”. The sketch seemed to be a thinly-veiled nose-thumbing at Giannopolous.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I think you may have missed Santo’s point.
but anyway. good clip. hysterical show.
and one of the reasons I do not, and will not use the term wog.

the rest of you can feel free.
who am I to argue with an intellectual giant, cultural icon and spokesman for ethnic australia like Nick Giannopoulis.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

bugger.
wrong clip.
I think this is Santo’s response to nick’s work.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

breaking down stereotypes and holding up a mirror to multicultural society

9 12 2010
SD

Well Mr Cilauro’s book Phaic Tan kind of mocks stereotypes and reiterates them.

It happens to be a particular favourite of mine.

“intellectual giant, cultural icon and spokesman for ethnic australia like Nick Giannopoulis”-that made me spill coffee. Why did no one nominate Wog Boy 2 in the crap movies?!

9 12 2010
Shirley

Maybe because no one has seen it.

9 12 2010
SD

Touche!

Are trailers sufficient guides to crapdom – or even a hideous poster as for WB2?!

9 12 2010
Shirley

Yes, I think so. Still, on the other hand, some trailers and posters would lead you to believe a movie will be horrendous when in fact it’s actually good. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle is a good example of this.

9 12 2010
SD

Harold and Kumar – how good was that.

Superbad – another guilty pleasure (for me).

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

and crap it certainly was.
I was repulsed that such a big budget film could be produced, when so many talented people can’t get funding.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

see also “Molvania. A Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry”

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

alas.
Working Dog/D. Gen have more wit and humour in the faint aura left in the room after they have departed than a million wogs out of work banging away on a million typewriters for a million years (: they would still never produce shakespeare btw)
because Gianopoulis et al have “legitimised” ethnic tags and all the bogans have rushed to adopt it, any other commentary is lost in the groundswell.

It’s Political Correctness Gone Mad.

Ay?

9 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

“You can take the boy out of Brunswick, but you can’t take Brunswick out of the boy”.

“Hang on, can we buy Brunswick?”

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

…anyway.
I think I was living in Qld. when this place opened.
I do recall a gushing piece on ACA/TT.
it all just looked gaudy to me.

8 12 2010
Tombarina

Palazzo Versace is where taste, restraint and style go to die. In agony.

However, a agree with Shirl, AKT, GCoaster, Edna, et al, though, that there’s more to the region than the Coomera-to-Broadbeach shitobahn.

The hinterland is gorgeous and beaches far south of the hellish Glitter Strip can gorgeous. That said, I avoid the GC like the plague and only go there a couple of times a year for the Sole Offspring’s sporting committments. Would rather hit the surf at Mudjimba.

I blame Mike Gore. Sanctuary Cove was the first and most lethal of the camel-back-breaking straws.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Haha – I’m friends with Mike Gore Jr

8 12 2010
Mick

Really? Judging by his record he’d have his hand out for a yellow spot fairly often eh?

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

I am not familiar with this “yellow spot”?

8 12 2010
Mick

$50…seems he has a lot of trouble paying his bills.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Seems you’re talking about his older brother – Craig. Owned Team Australia racing and a bunch of companies that he lost last year.
Yes, Craig asks for yellow spots from Mikey, I’m sure.
Their father died in the 90s.

Mike Jr is doing fine…

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/property/mike-gore-jr-pounces-on-us-bargains/story-e6frg9gx-1225955237357

8 12 2010
Mick

Ahhh…my apologies. I should research instead of relying on memory.

8 12 2010
Mick

Oh dear, I just read that article…wouldn’t touch those homes with a barge pole. Investing in distressed homes in the US is fraught with danger.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

It’s a very risky venture – but if you’re playing with other people’s money and they’re aware of the risks… it might pay off!

8 12 2010
Mick

I dislike the investing with other people’s money thing. All that means is they will take the profits but leave the risks and losses for someone else.

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

and yet people trust their money with investors every day. Where’s your Super?

8 12 2010
Mick

Self managed.

8 12 2010
8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

he asked for investors to raise $10m on Facebook the other week and had 4 people interested within an hour. Ahh Facebook, the new wall street- haha

8 12 2010
Pandabater

What’s 10.5% of nothing?

8 12 2010
8 12 2010
hel

I would never stay at a hotel that sounded more like a form of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease than an accomodation berth. Mind you, if frequented by Bogans, I am sure many checked out bearing the goodness of an STI (and not the car kind)

9 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I’m certain they’d arrive in stoyle with their HSV and depart Il Palazzo in their HSV (Holden Special Vehicles) with HSV-2 (herpes simplex virus, type two).

8 12 2010
RobertL

I just read in the newspaper of what is surely going to be the latest CUB drink of choice.

Bundaberg Rum is entering the “prestige” spirits market with a 10 year old blend, priced at $150 per bottle.

But will bogans still get pissed and glass cunts after drinking it?

8 12 2010
Tombarina

Yes.

Bogan is as bogan does.

8 12 2010
Pandabater

Bogan craves Bundy
Onefitty for a bottle
Still mixes with Coke

8 12 2010
Shazza

One thing’s for certain; they will mix it with a fizzy sugary beverage, just as they do with single malts.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

…there’s a whole post on it’s own.

Things Bogans Like

#927 – (alcoholic beverage) and Coke
It brings back memories of childhood.

8 12 2010
8 12 2010
p'bee

that needs to come with a warning. scary stuff.

8 12 2010
Pandabater

She looks like she has been following chubbies advise from above.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

last year’s designer drug: Check.

8 12 2010
Lord Charos

Wow. Just wow.

8 12 2010
hel

Can soemone please enlighten me as to who that douche is in the photo? He looks like he had too much botox and lost half the use of his face.

8 12 2010
SD

LOL

8 12 2010
AlyssaKT

haha – isn’t he whoever it says when you hold your cursor over it?

8 12 2010
hel

WTF isa wrong with my work computer? I get nothing! Mind you, I can’t check in online for QANTAS on this computer either, I need cookies…….

8 12 2010
8 12 2010
SD

A botoxed Rowan Atkinson galah

hilarious!

8 12 2010
SD

Completely off topic but I have been laughing way too much at tweets of old.

http://twitter.com/TweetsofOld

A. L. Fortney got drunk on “mountain dew” Friday and the next morning was found plowing a crooked furrow in town – totally an old school bogue!

8 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

wow.
moderated into oblivion.
was it something I said?

8 12 2010
v'visexxion

I’d say more like a prematurely hatched galah.

8 12 2010
p'bee

just had a thought – what would shirley mullet semen detective make of the palazzo versace? on the one hand it could earn her enough to set her up for life, but on the other it may well give her a complete nervous breakdown and send her screaming insane.

8 12 2010
Shirley

It would be like that scene in the first season of Dexter when he goes into that hotel room that is absolutely full of blood.

8 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Shirl, do rich people Botox their jism, you know to give it a youthful appearance? Let me know on that. Thanks.

9 12 2010
v'visexxxion

p’bee – good question, Shirley and I are in the process of producing a story with photos based on Shirley Mullet Semen Detective. The PVA certainly may have affected her. I have written a draft and sent it to Shirley today so she can do pictures next week to go with it. Stay tuned for Semen Detective Shirley Mullet and the Mysterious Case of Dry Crackers.

9 12 2010
Tom

Just a minor correction there, ‘rugby’ generally refers to rugby union. Bogans do not like rugby union. They like rugby league (‘league’ in the singular form).

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Agreed. That irked me also.

Kiwigans on the other hand…

9 12 2010
Tombarina

Kwigans, definitely.

Queensland bogans tend to give the rugby a swerve.

But you’ll get the occasional pack of ‘Tah or Western Force supporters who could be mistaken for a bogan horde. It’s the popped collars, I think. That, and the tendency travel en masse – none are sufficiently brave to unleash their inner tool unless surrounded by their mates; a bogue-defining trait.

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

True. TSS – the big private boy’s school in Southport – is a strong Union competitor – and boasts many a CUB amoungst their flock, past and present.
I can always spot them, with their girl’s sunglasses, skinny jeans, thongs, cockatoo hairdos, splashing the cash.

9 12 2010
AlyssaKT

amongst*

9 12 2010
clipper

This could be because TBL are from Victoria, where they don’t know or care about the difference between Union and League, they just know it as Rugby. I too, am irked when another bogan League story comes out and most people overseas assume it to be Union.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

and AFL
Bogans like AFL too.
eddie maguire
fev
collingwood

9 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Fishing Chub?

9 12 2010
clipper

Yes, Chub, they did mention that – it read ‘…more interested in soccer than rugby or Aussie rules’ – we’re saying it should read ‘…more interested in soccer than league or Aussie Rules’. Although funnily enough bogans hate AFL in Sydney – whether that changes with GWS is another question.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

you know it, Handsome.
X

9 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No snapper in the pond.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

yeah.
I’m getting bored with it anyway.

lets do something smutty.

9 12 2010
Sybil Ince

Bogans are impressed by condominiums? I’d have thought they’d settle for nothing less than a condomaximum.

9 12 2010
p'bee

a video for everyone – all of billy joel’s hits played together (hopefully the video pastes properly):

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

this must be destroyed immediately!
Dear God what Horrors lurk in the Hearts of Mankind?

though I did like Allentown once.
I got better tho’

9 12 2010
v'visexxxion

There is more horror , may I present Sting and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer mash up -” Rudolph, ,You don’t have put out the red light”

9 12 2010
Tombarina

That is one of the $&%$ing most disturbing things I’ve ever seen.

T’was horrid….yet I couldn’t look away…..

(I’m also a leetle bit phobic about claymation, stopmotion and puppets. I don’t think I like Christmas any more.)

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I never really got the hang of Clowns myself…
Just Not Right.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

jesus.
it actually crashed my computer.
everything hung and all I could hear was billy.
and satan.
I had to unplug the computer at the wall.

9 12 2010
p'bee

i’m sorry for doing that to you chubby, it wasn’t my intention.

9 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

my own fault.
I should have known better.

10 12 2010
Pendant

This video contains content from Sony Music Entertainment. It is not available in your country. Because of Nazis.

11 12 2010
bios

As a Greek-Australian myself, i can’t say i’ve ever heard anyone, anywhere, refer to themselves as a ‘wogan’, although i’ve been saying for years that the ‘wog’ is basically the ethnic equivalent of a bogan for years, and generally people just stare at me when i do.

I guess nobody refers to wogs as marios and marias anymore, but if the shoe fits……

11 12 2010
bios

correction: only meant to say ‘for years’ once, not twice. hehehe.

As for the ‘wog’ phenomenon in general, i’d argue that, like the bogan, it’s almost impossible to escape if you are from that background. The difference is that i don’t think wogs are as desperate to reinvent themselves as bogans. They seem more confortable in their own skin, or at least did. Can’t speak for the under 25 crowd.

11 12 2010
bios

re: the ‘intellectual bogan'(the ‘nogan’, or whatever it is referred to above): in my experience with them, especially in academia, they tend to be from working class backgrounds. If the intellectual bogan really is a bogan, then he/she is definitely the most preferable kind of bogan, becauase at least their aspirations are respectable.

11 12 2010
James Hunter

bios,
If you have not already done so then please get yourself a copy of the book “They’r a Weird Mob” by Nino Culotta (also the name of the main character )well he was actually an anglo John O’Grady but used the wog psuedonym. popular in the sisties and still a scream. I suspect you would laugh yourself sick with it.

17 12 2010
Elle

This is a little unfair. I personally love the Palazzo Versace. The restaurant, Vanitas, is amazing and the chefs are so creative in designing their dishes. The rooms are beautifully appointed and very lush. But, above all, the service provided by the staff who are employed by this hotel, is second to none. It’s just a shame that it has become so accessible to everyone – when my Husband and I first stayed there, it was still fairly exclusive and the prices were still quite high (thanks a lot, wotif!!). We then returned to have dinner at Vanitas a while later, and the bogans had taken over. We were sitting and having a quiet drink while looking at the menu, and in comes a group of fat, loud, 40 something female bogans, who proceeded to POSE for photo’s with the ornate crockery on their table… as in, they were picking up a plate and holding it as if it were a trophy… completely inappropriate. I wanted to tell them that there is a Hog’s Breath in Surfers Paradise, I’m sure they would have fitted in better there. Sigh… All I am saying is please don’t lump me in with the bogans. They ruin everything. I can’t wear my vintage Burberry scarf, or use my Louis Vuitton clutch (classic dark brown with lighter brown pattern) anymore, because of the connotations that they are symbols of sheer-boganism.

20 12 2010
AlyssaKT

Elle, for every post there are arguments like yours. Yes, just because it’s thing bogans like, does not necessarily mean to like it makes you a bogan. See the difference there? You even agreed with the sentiment in your comment with the example you gave…

The restaurants are well received and awarded – and why shouldn’t they be? With a budget for chefs and ingredients that big it would be embarrassing if it wasn’t any good.

I’m not sure if I would describe the rooms as “lush” though – I find the rooms’ and the foyer’s decoration to be particularly gaudy and tasteless…

20 12 2010
SD

“I can’t wear my vintage Burberry scarf, or use my Louis Vuitton clutch (classic dark brown with lighter brown pattern) anymore”

Give me a break and cry me a river. Nothing seems more bogan than brand snobbery.

8 06 2011
snob

PV is where the bond uni kids go to feel superior.

18 12 2010
??

tacky eyesore

4 02 2011
Bart Sinclair

I cannot believe the low-life’s on this website. Just because you can’t afford to stay a night at the cheapest room at Palazzo does not give you a reason to bag it out. Maybe try staying there instead of the caravan park down the road. The real bogans on the Gold Coast are the people who comment on this article – dole bludgers who bag out people who actually make the money to buy such prestigious brands.

Haha, the classic bogan mental defence: “if they dislike us, it’s because they wish they were us, but aren’t”. Also, there are luxury hotels other than the Palazzo Versace, though it’s tough to convince a bogan of this. TBL

5 02 2011
James Hunter

Barf,
Any obsession with “Prestigeous brands” is a sure fire indicator of an arrested intellectual development. Sugest you try Go-Low or Cheap as Chips for a discounted “Life” you sure could do with one.

18 03 2011
James

I’m sorry but the Palazzo Versace is not a bogan establishment whatsoever. It is an exquisitely executed hotel in an amazing location. Bogans don’t pay up to thousands of dollars for one night of accommodation and whilst there are a few garish aspects to the Gold Coast tourist scene there are plenty of great ones too. Gold Coast is an interesting place, it is an unbelievably diverse city given its population isn’t huge and there are great things happening here. Alot of Gold Coast locals don’t like surfers paradise but there are some amazing developments being built there now and broadbeach is pretty nice too.

3 12 2011
Guatemala holidays

Nice outfit I want to have it especially when going to a luxury occasions. I really like it.

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