#66 – Glassing Cunts

18 01 2010

Bogans, in their search for dominance over others, will always seek out the weapon of maxtreme violence. However, the impulsive nature of the violence, when filtered through the constraints of their congenitally limited concentration span, dictates that the weapon must be sourced within arms’ reach. Also, while many male bogans believe they have a close, personal connection to Australia’s (now celebrated) underworld, they lack access to anything beyond a kitchen knife. Thus, the shattered beer glass was elevated above the pool cue – the tool of the early bogan – to the nouveau bogan’s weapon of choice.

And the bogan won’t glass just anyone. In order to justify, in its strangely twisted moral compass, the commission of x-treme violence, the victim must be… a cunt. This appeals to the bogan’s reptilian desire to take things to the x-treme; physically, sartorially, linguistically. The bogan has run out of swear words. This is odd, because the bogan, while a late adopter in almost all things, is nothing short of a national market leader when it comes to expletives.

Once upon a time, the bogan could toss around ‘dickheads’ and ‘wankers’ with gay abandon, yet remain on the cusp of swearing trends. But today, despite being the member of several Facebook groups advocating proud nationalism and decrying the cultural creep of the US via TV, the bogan embraces whichever foul word is uttered by Eminem in Eight Mile.

While lacking the creativeness of other foul-mouthed subcultures to invent curses, they simply adopt whichever curse word finds itself on the tube. For example, as soon as Bruce Willis quoted old Westerns to some German motherfucker in Die Hard, the bogan had an entirely new weapon in its arsenal.

Soon enough, motherfucker was passé. Pretty much all swear words became banal, losing their threatening, offending impact. There was only one left. Thus, in short order, and prompted by its brief appearance in two films about criminals, the bogan had no choice but to start labeling everyone who it disliked/disagreed with a ‘cunt’ (or a fag/homo/poof. This is a separate strain of Freudian boganism which merits a post of its own at a later date). Then glass the cunt.

The only real option the bogan has today when spewing bile at its intended victim is to bludgeon them with sheer volume and weight of vitriol. ‘What the fuck’s your fucken problem you fucken cunt?’ screams the enraged, inebriated bogan, simultaneously shattering his half-empty schooner and brandishing it unsteadily in the face of some guy who came perilously close to bumping into him on his way to empty his bladder discretely. ‘You got a fucken problem? You cunt?’


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218 responses

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Given yesterday’s car smash tragedy (in which an innocent tree was felled), I thought that today’s missive might be about another nouveau bogan trend – placing flowers at the site of other bogans’ death.

Viz: http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/photo-gallery/gallery-e6frf94x-1225820470183?page=1

18 01 2010
Shandarleeer

They aren’t drive by florists?

18 01 2010
Linda

Fiona, respect please. I knew some of those people.

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Did you know the one who will be missed by his family because he was “a good dresser”?

18 01 2010
X.

You’ve lost everyone’s respect now, Fiona. Whatever the reason, 5 young lives have been lost. That’s nothing to LOL about.

Cunt.

18 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

The driver had no respect for his passengers and he knew them. Fiona is not showing disrespect, she is just pointing out anomalies and amusing circumstances.

18 01 2010
Gav

Also amusing was the cry out for help to the government by the fello bogans / parents to make the roads safer.. Apparently the 47 different laws already in place that were broken by these ‘victims’ (read: idiots) isn’t enough already.

18 01 2010
Indi

It’s always someone else’s fault.

18 01 2010
Jodie

This. What happened was unfortunate and I won’t make jokes about it, but I will say that I am sick of people not taking responsibility for their own actions or those of their family and friends, instead baying for the government to “do something”. What can the government do to stop people from acting like fucking idiots? It’s the same scenario as when some fool tries to sneak across the railway against the signal then gets hit by a train then the public cries for safety upgrades. That is no-one’s fault but the driver’s and there is no amount of upgrades that can stop that kind of idiocy, unfortunately.

18 01 2010
shazza

It’s not amusing, especially for their parents Simon of South Yarra.

18 01 2010
Simon of South yarra

Of course it is not amusing to the parents, but they allowed, and probably encouraged, their offspring to get the killer wheels.

The responses you see here are examples of schaudenfreude and, relief through humour that it wasn’t one of us.

As has been pointed out, the “friends” of the dead all appear to come from the bogan side of the street and as such are fodder for this blog/community service

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I of course realise South Yarra is one of the lesser suburbs, but equally I can see (based on your comments) that it’s closer to Toorak (and not just geographically) than most.

18 01 2010
pulang

Notice the bottlles of Jim Beam and VB left alongside the photos and flowers at the makeshift memorial? (Also notice the Aussie flag? Oi oi oi indeed.) Doesn’t leaving alcohol as tributes to the (underage) hoons seem a bit crass and oh so very BOGAN?!

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

18 01 2010
Indi

That looks like you’re chewing your pearls, rather than clutching them.

18 01 2010
Simon of South yarra

Possibly her pearl necklace

18 01 2010
Indi

Up a bit high.

18 01 2010
Tubesteak

Calm down, X. People die every day. That’s why we have the Darwin Awards.

Though I doubt “Idiot Drives Stupidly” will win an award or receive a mention

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. True. The Darwin Awards can only consider so many people…

20 01 2010
X.

Just because people die every day, doesn’t mean we need to dance on their graves, even if they may have had it coming.

I agree that the 5 kids who died were dickheads, and the makeshift memorial was indeed very bogan (the VB bottles probably explain a lot about the crash, at least to recent reports). But imagine you were in the situation of their family and friends – how would you feel if you saw some of the comments posted by some of these keyboard warriors, sniggering behind their monitors? Can that really be justified?

Say what idiots they were, say how inappropriate the memorial is, but for f***’s sake don’t mock them during this terrible time.

18 01 2010
hel

glass her…….

4 06 2010
tman

i dont have any jim beam bottles but will an empty wine bottle do the job?

3 07 2010
1/4 cast Bogue

I’ve got an empty cask.

18 01 2010
Ads

Actually, I think a lot of people on here agree with Fiona’s sentiments. Look at the pictures on news.com, they tell you everything you need to know about these kids. After seeing a dickhead in a commodore ute almost cause a major crash on the freeway yesterday, I have no sympathy for any hoons that remove themselves from this world.
And stubbies at a “memorial”… Words cannot describe.

18 01 2010
shazza

Reading these comments leads me to wonder how you differentiate a bogan from a redneck.

18 01 2010
Loftie

Redneck = Redneck is a disparaging term that refers to a person who is stereotypically Caucasian and of lower social-economic status in the United States, particularly referring to those living in rural areas. Originally limited to the Southern United States, the term has become widely used throughout North America.

Bogan = The term bogan (pronounced /ˈboʊɡən/, rhyming with slogan) is Australian and New Zealand English slang, usually pejorative or self-deprecating, for a person who is, or is perceived to be, of a lower-class background. According to the stereotype, the speech and mannerisms of “bogans” indicate poor education, cheap clothing and uncultured upbringing. ‘Bogans’ usually reside in economically disadvantaged suburbs or rural areas.

So Shazza…. the answer is…
Are we in Australia or America??

18 01 2010
shazza

So what is the Australian equivalent?

18 01 2010
shazza

Sorry, that question didn’t quite come out as intended. Are you saying they are one and the same? Can you not be a bogan that votes left of centre? After all many/all would be labor voters. Whereas rednecks in USA would be mostly Republican.

18 01 2010
Loftie

I’m saying that they are certainly not defined by their voting…
More the point of origin…

As there is many shades of bogue… you could vote Labor/Liberal/Greens or whatever, and still drive a frangipani excel and have a tramp stamp…

still a bogan either way…

18 01 2010
swalk

Two points:

1) Labor is no longer left-of-centre.
2) The bogan vote kept Howard in power from at least 2001 onwards, if not earlier.

18 01 2010
shazza

Agreed that the labor party is no longer ‘left’, but that’s not really the point. I was using voting patterns as an example of difference between bogans and red necks in Aus/USA.
Was it the bogan or the redneck equivalent that were responsible for Johnny’s long run? Or are they in fact the same thing?

18 01 2010
Beck

I always thought most American rednecks didn’t even vote, like much of the rest of the US population. Given there’s no mandatory vote over there, isn’t the whole criticism that representation is divided between groups of vested interests, which is why traditionally the Republicans have always been associated with business and privilege (conservatives) and the Democrats with artists and more “socially minded” people (liberals)? Rednecks don’t really fit in there at all, I don’t think.

18 01 2010
shazza

Good point Beck, I was thinking more about policy alignment than actual voter turnout, but you raise an important distinction between the countries. For your interest there is an excellent American author, Dan Savage, he goes into this vested interest idea in a humorous way. Very anti-conservative, and very, very, funny.

19 01 2010
Ghengis

I thought Howard changed that, IE neue-bogues now vote for the libs.

19 01 2010
shazza

Ghengis, looks like we shall have to wait for TBL to inform us on this one. You may be correct that this is an important distinction between the old and noveau bogan.

This may or may not be the topic of an entry, but just quickly. The convergence of the ALP and LP/NP coalition at the centre-right of the Australian political spectrum has made the two parties a lot more interchangable than they were 20 years ago. So every three years, it becomes an expensive bidding war between the two as they come up with policies designed to lure the new bogans in marginal seats. It used to be ideology-driven, now it’s carrot-driven. Howard was successful at this. Until he wasn’t. TBL

13 02 2010
J

Seeing as your name is ‘shazza’ I could rightly assume you are a bogan yourself? Sharron being your non-bogan name, yet still widely considered a valid choice of name for most bogan families. (Not a personal attack, just pointing something out out).

15 12 2010
Matthew of Mount Lawley

Apples and Oranges, Shazza.
Perhaps what Loftie is suggesting is that they may have cross-over traits, but they are different.

1 01 2011
chris

For the record Labor isn’t left of centre.

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, I vote for calling an Australian redneck, a “shazza”.

Perhaps it’s already a little too synonymous with “bogan” though…

19 01 2010
Right and proud

Haha, typical neo-liberals: All happy to bash the conservatives and satirize the shit out of them, but when it comes to picking on other liberals, well, it hits too close to home. Hypocrites.

18 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

The pictures of the “shrine” featuring beverage of choice shows that the “mates” are miss the point of the event where a dead-set hoon killed 4 of his friends. Why such stupidity should be honoured with a shrine escapes me

18 01 2010
Red

Nice photos.
Nothing says “You’ll be missed, RIP” better than a couple of stubbies of VB and an empty can of Jim’n’coke… at the scene of a car crash.

18 01 2010
berihebi

Darwinism at work. Luckily they didn’t kill any non-bogues along the way.

18 01 2010
Gav

I could not have said it better myself

18 01 2010
Shandarleeer

Nothing says paying your respects like a track suit either. Were they out jogging when they came across the site of the accident?

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And the hair! Surely it’s not much of an effort to run a brush or comb through it, especially given the circumstances. That poor tree… :-(

18 01 2010
Shandarleeer

I even spied a VPL – visible panty line, not far from a pair of Corey Worthington White sunglasses. It’s a mercy for the tree really.

18 01 2010
Gav

Don’t forget the tribal arm band tatt to compliment the faux-mohawk with highlights

18 01 2010
Simon

Jesus,

I thought you were joking about the VB being left as a tribute. That is amazing. How dumb are these people?

18 01 2010
Loftie

The sad reality is, that if all of these mourners and friends had have all been a little more sensible and responsible, and a little less stupid and dangerous…. then the 5 men would still be alive…

At least the younger sister has lived and will tell the tale of how it all went down… maybe the TAC should give her a job, or get her on a TV ad….

*back to the topic*
Should be a requirement of a drink-hole (bogue pub) to serve all drinks in plastic sippy cups (like my toddler drinks from)…
*no spilled drinks – no “aye, whach whair ya goin cunce”
and
*unbreakable glass – no more glassing cunts

18 01 2010
shazza

For me the sadedest part is that they were boys not men, and that is probably why this tragedy occurred.

As for the sippy cup idea. Love it.

18 01 2010
shazza

I must edit before posting. I must edit before posting. I must edit before posting…..

18 01 2010
Army of birds

There is one such site near Nerang in Qld that exudes boganity: the cliff face that the person apparently hit while spinning out on a corner is now adorned with plastic frangipanis that have been glued to the bare rock along with an enormous plastic crucifix.

18 01 2010
James

They knew the dangers of a bogan lifestyle.

18 01 2010
brad

snakes belly fiona

23 01 2010
??

perhaps could they be called bogan memorial markers

4 06 2010
tman

hahaha fiona you’re awesome haha

6 12 2010
rilla

@ Fiona, hey do you even know who you pray to each time you use LOL @ the beggining of each post. You don’t and would never be able to understand. Here’s a clue: El-O-El, please respond when your synapses return to cross communicable function. I would be honestly susprised if you could respond intelligently. In short – stop using LOL, you don’t know what you do, monkey.

6 12 2010
SD

Congratulations! You are the millionth person to say this and may now collect a free TBL book autographed by Fiona!

6 12 2010
rilla

no scratch that. If ANYONE on this post can intelligently reply to my calling out of this monkey, Fiona – I will be VERY suprised (most of you are monkeys). I have trouble beliving a classics’ Master could be this stupid.

18 01 2010
Steve

That’s quite a lot of swear words.

18 01 2010
Shandarleeer

And if you’re a lucky cunt, you can go on A Current Affair / Today Tonight and bare your mangled face afterwards – it fits neatly into at least two of the 3 f’s template – fear , fatties and freaks.

19 01 2010
Ghengis

But the survivor will become depressed, and thus put on weight, so they fit into all 3!!

23 01 2010
??

they can then sell lots of interviews to new idea magazine

18 01 2010
Gorey

I thought this would be about fucking glassings, but it turned out to be about using strings of fucking expletives. You fucking fuck fuck.

18 01 2010
shazza

On a similar thread I note the increase in recent years of machete weilding. Sadly a young man in Perth was killed by one such bogan this weekend passed.

18 01 2010
Indi

No-one just carries a machete around any more, they wield them.

18 01 2010
shazza

Yes Indi, my comment was a deliberate play on the media’s insistence that one must wield, when one has a machete.

18 01 2010
Sam

I just carry mine around in case I should come upon a over grown thickett that is blocking my path.

18 01 2010
DP

I’ve enjoyed this website to date, but I gotta say it – this article – to use the vernacular – is pretty f***ing weak.

You gave it three stars, I see. That’s not too bad. TBL

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Greatest. Commentary. EVER!

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

It’s not weak. It’s just not witty as some of the others are, such as Formal Lounge Rooms or Underbelly. Sadly though, it’s just as true.

18 01 2010
Derek of Deer Park

Saw an ad for a tv show about the woman in the boot, Maria Korp, coming to the underbelly station soon.

Channel nine thanks the murderers and drug dealers of Melbourne for writing so much of their programs

18 01 2010
Peggsy

Nice….and looking forward to a ‘fag/homo/poof’ entry (the ironies are endless)

18 01 2010
Struct

@Fiona – or taking it to the next logical step: Things Bogans Like – Succumbing to Natural Selection.

18 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Yes, they are living(?) the Darwinian dream

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

The decline in educating our young (both at home and school) in manners, values, common courtesy, respect for authority and all others, social graces and etiquette, as well as how to properly articulate (and spell) standard English and think independently has led society to degenerate into what we see on the news every night, which is an utter disgrace. I now sound like a grumpy old man, when I’m not.

I’m in my 30′s, and sure there were fights when I was hitting the pubs and clubs 15 years ago, but never this bad. When did carrying knives and bashing someone to death become the norm of a night out?

18 01 2010
Benjamin

Regarding your first paragraph:

“I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond
words… When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly
disrespectful and impatient of restraint”

- Hesiod, 8th century BC

As for the rest of your post – it seems the same to me too. However from this site here:

http://www.violentdeathproject.com/Countries/australia.html

It looks as though the rate of violent death per capita has been remarkably stable for some time… There are more people around now, naturally. Information flows better too, so you are more likely to hear about them I guess.

18 01 2010
Anonymous Bosch

It’s part of the Bogan’s Saturday Night. You know it’s Tuesday Morning by all the Bogan’s wearing ‘deadset classy’ suits bought from Lowe’s outside the courthouse. Nothing like a clip-on, or badly-tied Windsor Knot to offset your tribal-tatted neck.

Anyway, Pubs are the hangout of the footy-playing Micko / Davo / Steveo / Johno Male Bogans, all backslapping and calling each other Legends for their ability to down beer and flirt unsuccessfully with the barmaid. Nightclubs are the hangout of the celebrity-obsessed female Bogan, thinking their tits-to-bush spray-on dresses, peroxide hair and orange tans make them sexy, ‘loike Paris Hilton’ with ear-splitting ‘Doof Doof’ music.

What on earth is enticing enough about either place that anyone with half-a-brain would want to go there? Stay at home on a Saturday Night, and let the Bogans kill each other. You’re not going to find good food, stimulating conversation or intelligent people at either.

Glassing is part of thinning the herd and we should be thanking them for the public service. It’s one less moron walking around between the Three ‘C’s of Bogan Life: Courthouse, Cashies and Centrelink. (Either that or they’re loitering around the hospital waiting to score some Oxycontin).

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Yes, glassing, knifing, bashing etc has become part of the (largely Gen Y) bogans night out. As I, like many other normal people of my generation (Gen X), either stay at home, go to a nice restaurant or to a friends house on most Saturday nights (when in your 30′s, a good night out is a night in at a friends house!) this violent thuggish behaviour doesn’t affect me directly. But it doesn’t stop me feeling pretty crap about the way society is going as a whole and what kind of world my children will walk into when they want to go out to a pub or club when they’re 18+.

This behaviour is not just becoming the norm for bogans (bogan cunts bashing other bogan cunts), but many other innocent people as well, who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

18 01 2010
shazza

Don’t desair Nelson Esq, the ongoing march of the small bar allows non bogans, and ageing bogans who want to avoid their younger counterparts to enjoy a safe night out.
Furthermore, where I live, one of the largest and most popular bars in Perth operates 7 days a week without security. They have a responsible service of alcohol policy that they actually apply, and I have never once witnessed any agressive behaviour, and have been going there for years.
To quote a classic bogan movie – “It’s about the vibe of the thing.”

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

You are right Shazza, there’s many a non-bogue pubs and bars about and I do enjoy a (non-boganic and microbrewed) beer in them from time to time and happily leave them fully intact and on my own 2 feet.

I am in a meloncholy mood today; after 2 days of fun and frivolity last week poking fun at Formal Lounge Rooms and Frangipani stickers, TBL has brought us all down to earth with what truly is the worst aspect of bogan gutter behaviour. When in comparison to glassing someone, wearing an Ed Hardy T-shirt is acceptable.

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Fear not, Nelson Esq, more lighthearted fare is sure to follow – one hopes it’s about bogans love of microbreweries…

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

bring it on!! :)

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

actually, scrub acceptable and replace with tolerable. Same with frangipani stickers; tolerable!

18 01 2010
shazza

Funnily enough Nelson Esq, the pub I refer to above is Little Creatures, one of the original WA microbrewries.

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Thanks for that Shazza. Read that Fiona…Non-bogan, microbrewery pub with no violence! Maybe Microbreweries will not be a TBL post! Hooray!

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Not all acts of boganry require violence. Admittedly, most do, but not all. So your beloved microbreweries are not out of the woods yet…

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

I suppose we will just have to wait and see! :)

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Time, as well as healing all wounds, will tell…

18 01 2010
Indi

Nice beer, if a little heavily-hopped for some.

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Agree, the LC Pale Ale is very heavily hopped. My favourite LC beer is Roger’s Ale; at about 3.5% it’s a very good session beer AND full flavoured. And I mean actually full flavoured, unlike when the big breweries tell you that their mid-strength or blonde beer is *cough cough* full flavoured. But enough of that here….should start a blog of my own “Beers beer lovers love” :)

18 01 2010
Indi

All big brewery beers taste like cardboard – wet mouldy cardboard. And I assume a glass ( preferably chilled) is a minimum.

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

A glass is preferable. Only a bogan would drink from the stubby.

18 01 2010
shazza

Rogers if my fave too.

18 01 2010
Sam

It’s ok. Too big now IMO. Still, it is better than Harbourside which used to occupy the site of the recent LC expansion. The food is pretty bad for the price. The beer is very good. If you like good cider, resist the urge to try their Pipsqueak cider…very very average unless you enjoy Strongbow Sweet.

18 01 2010
shazza

Very big now, but still no agro Sam. As for food quality and price, agreed. The story of Perth dining.

18 01 2010
Indi

A cunt is a beautiful and useful object, so why should the word be a term of abuse? A friend suggested some years ago a better term of abuse would be ‘cunthook’- an ugly concept, sounds uncomfortable in practice, and a satisfying set of syllables on the tongue. Still pretty offensive.

So where else do we go with expletives? Blasphemy is the Italian mode, but sort of less powerful in Australia. Casting doubt on legitimacy is pointless. Scatological extremes seem to have slipped away.

18 01 2010
Benjamin

“Why, I’m warm and welcoming, so yes I am.”

My rememberance of a quote from Dead Famous by Ben Elton. Great read BTW.

18 01 2010
Sharrelle

When can we expect a fucken post on bogan dogs? There was even an article in Saturday’s West Australian on the 3 most popular breeds around different areas of Perth. Surprise surprise, Rottweilers and Staffies are number 1 in Armadale.

18 01 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Has there already been a post on irresponsible dog choices? Or giving and then dumping pets at Christmas? If not – it musnt be far away.

18 01 2010
shazza

See the archived posts Sharrelle, already covered some time back.

18 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

At least pit bulls are banned by our council. Still see the goddamned things running free with some tribal tatooed, stretch eared, slack jawed bogan strutting about near abouts.

As for the five dead bogan kids. What type of brain dead parent would allow their kid on P plates to have an XR6??????

As a parent, I fell for them, but for fucks sake, show some responsibility, before your offspring kill themselves or somebody else.

18 01 2010
shazza

west_melb_antibogan I reckon P platers from all walks of life are, by the nature of their youth, risk takers. Even a 4 cyl car can get you into bother if you are inexperienced. It’s a wonder any of us make into adulthood without experiencing at least one accident.

18 01 2010
Simon of South yarra

How true!

18 01 2010
Shandarleeer

There are two types in this world, those who drive about, and those like myself who are “the driven”. I’ve never had a car accident because of this virtue. I’m certain Fiona of Toorak and Simon of South Yarra would understand.

18 01 2010
Anonymous Bosch

Ugh, I hope you’re not one of those ugly and bored north shore women who get shagged by their bogan chauffeurs, in pursuit of some forbidden Lady Chatterly-style thrill to cut through the Valium and Penfolds Grange haze.

18 01 2010
Sam

We already have a troll with this persona, at least she is funny, witty and insightful some of the time. You are just a bogan simpleton.

#67 – Copying someone else’s Troll persona because you think it is cool

19 01 2010
Shandarleeer

And you are??

18 01 2010
brad

well good on you shandy,methinks though if someone close to you was killed in a car accident or even worse your own off-spring it wouldnt rip your heart out because you have’nt got one(same goes for lol and all you other comediennes commenting on aussie flags and stubbies on trees-schaudenfreude my ass more like heartless cunts

18 01 2010
Sam

New email address brad?

19 01 2010
brad

you should know sam after all you are one of the tbl’s

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. If anyone I knew was killed in a car accident, I’d be terribly upset. I’d probably be a lot less upset if the “accident” could barely be classified as one though.

19 01 2010
brad

i wonder if your body is as beautiful as your mind fiona

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Probably more so – I know that’s hard to believe. Still, it’s true.

18 01 2010
Tone

Meanwhile, back on topic … I can’t wait until one especially enraged bogan works out how to glass some poor c**t (I can’t bring myself to type that word, it’s so vulgar) with one of those plastic kiddy cups that some drinking establishments have had to resort to using.

18 01 2010
Indi

How about the potential use of aluminium cans as weapons?

18 01 2010
Cillian

In an example of more bogan stupidity, an unmistakable bogan has started a hateful facebook group against the bartender who banned him for indecent exposure and violence.
Ticks a number of boxes included gay-hating, moronic facebook groups and a distinctly bogan vocabulary.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=nf&gid=247141102841#

19 01 2010
meatray

I cant get anything up except the info page which does not say much. I dont want to join the group :)

18 01 2010
18 01 2010
Army of birds

“Croation”…

18 01 2010
Indi

It’s the Hun. 300 word vocabulary maximum.

18 01 2010
ThePineapple

The sad reality is that these guys are australian born and have only ventured to Croatia once with their parents for 2 weeks when they were 12 years old yet find the need to be a;; patriotic to the point of convincing themselves that they were born raised and up until last week lived in Croatia.

I don’t know who are worst, bogans or wogans?

18 01 2010
Tone

In this case, they’d be Crogans. And yeah, wogans and crogans can be just as bad as bogans. At least it shows they’re assimilating into Australian ways. Not necessarily good ones, but Australian ones nonetheless.

I wonder if in 20-30 years time, we’ll have Sudogans?

18 01 2010
Loftie

not sure if Sudogans would work…

how would sudanese background kids born in Australia understand that they are to bash aboriginals ???

and the tribal tattoos don’t show up as well on those guys either…

So i’ve heard….

18 01 2010
Sam

That is a bit random Loftie.

I haven’t read anything about ongoing aboriginal bashings anywhere other than in Aboriginal communities?

Since everyone is differentiating so much between races, what do we call gangs of Aboriginal youths who bash people? Abbogans?

19 01 2010
brad

Aboriginal youths

18 01 2010
Andy

I’m a first generation Australian with Serbian heritage – and I can’t get my head around this any better than anyone else. Every year it’s the same old mindless shit.

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Yes, must be more of those Euro-bogues as discussed last week on the Formal Lounge Room blog.

18 01 2010
j-ho

Read this article. Almost as if one of the writers of this very blog had some input.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/01/18/2794553.htm?site=thedrum

18 01 2010
ThePineapple

Like most things in this god forsaken shithole of a country those who think they know best and 9 times out 10 fail, have taken away a decent venue. Instead of shutting down the majority of troubled clubs on king st or even the QBH they go and hassle a venue who’s only crime would be that umm..actually i have never seen a fight at the tote.

Why arnt these bars and niteclubs which promote nothing but a shit night out SHUT DOWN?

18 01 2010
j-ho

Yep, and they even served food on friday nights to the patrons. It’s a sad loss if the tote is gone forever.

18 01 2010
Nicki

They’ve already started with that crap??? That makes me so angry I can barely type… these retards won’t be happy until we get a reputation for violence and the Open moved elsewhere. There’s nothing wrong with supporting players from your country, but acting like neanderthals is just not on..

18 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/01/18/2794553.htm?site=thedrum

“…As ruddy men in Ed Hardy t-shirts while away languid weekend evenings in the CBD merrily shattering pint glasses into each others’ faces, those in charge are responding the only way they know how: by penalising live music venues whose crowds consist mostly of sticky-limbed music nerds and one local drooling barfly who knows all the words to Dylan’s ‘Hurricane…’”

plagiarists!!!!!!!!

Seeing as we had the piece written about a week ago, and Ms Hardy wrote so eloquently about the tragic closure of the Tote in the last couple of days, I think everyone here is innocent, but probably thinking along very similar lines. – TBL

18 01 2010
ThePineapple

thats because it’s written by Marieke Hardy who i am sure reads this blog!

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And from the context, I doubt she knows the meaning of “ruddy”. I think she was going for “rugged”. I suspect our own beloved “Shazza” would be a fan.

They’ve even had their own blog entry here: http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/26-malapropisms/

18 01 2010
John Vardanega

Plagiarism, you say? Don’t be too hard on them, I’m prepared to give TBL the benefit of any doubt.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2009/04/13/124-hating-people-who-wear-ed-hardy/

18 01 2010
Emma

Good call Fiona of Toorak.

18 01 2010
Linda

Fiona of Toorak – I love and hate her all at once. I wonder if SHE is the mastermind behind this awesome blog?

Good heavens! TBL

18 01 2010
Simon

I think there are a few people who would like to love Fiona a little bit long time. Are you there Loftie?

18 01 2010
Linda

She is probably a man.

She needs her own blog. I would read it for sure.. because I love to hate her and hate to love her. :)

18 01 2010
Loftie

You know I am

18 01 2010
Lee

I hope they have had their shots.

18 01 2010
shazza

Linda if you read the text of each blog entry you will note the writing is well thought out and wickedly humorous. There is no way, no how, Fiona could be the author.

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Ah Shazza, green-eyed as well I see.

18 01 2010
shazza

Brown eyes actually.

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Another bogan hallmark: not understanding allusions.

18 01 2010
shazza

I understood completely, you missed the humour in the fact I am showing you my arse.

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Sure you did…

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

LOL. You walked straight into that one Fiona!

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. We all saw it already: http://failblog.org/2010/01/14/proper-hygiene-fail/

On failblog no less. Looks like you’re walking off to your job in the canteen at the mines.

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, I’m certainly the mastermind of the comments section.

18 01 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Hardly. Your comments are rather tired and trite. I think most of us have started scrolling straight past your comments.

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I (and most others it seems) would beg to disagree.

18 01 2010
Loftie

Hmmm….
My girl fiona does seem to be almost the first comment each and every thread….

maybe she is an advisor to the TBL team… much like the honorable(sic) Steve Bracks is to the Prime Minister of East Timor… ?

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Perhaps I’d be best described as the catalyst, the inspiration, the muse…

18 01 2010
shazza

Yes in this case I completely agree with you Fiona. You, and people like you, are the inspiration for this blog.

18 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Inspired by my lengthy history of highlighting the dull and colourless lives of the lesser people – such as your good self…

19 01 2010
Emma

I was thinking the same thing today!!!

18 01 2010
Simon

Good thing Deadwood (TV series, if you have not seen it, do so soon)goes over the head of Bogans or they could learn a whole new way of cussin Shakespeare style.

18 01 2010
Lis

Cue Al Swearengen. God, could you imagine it? It would actually be very funny. I watched the whole thing on DVD, and the number of times I had to “rewind” to work out what he was actually saying. And then rewind again to laugh again.

18 01 2010
Azza

100% agree with this post! In my adult life, I have only been involved in three drunken incidents of unprovoked voilence. All three occured in Central Queensland, home to concentrations of the cashed up Bowen Basin mining bogan!

I can’t help thinking the intelligience of the typical bogan does not allow them to think of the consequences in many situations. As mentioned today, owning a vicious dog – “Na mate, me dogs pretty good aye, little Shiquita will be right to pull his tail!”.

I can’t remember her name, but I remember that women who got glassed. She got brain damage and can’t talk that well now and ended up meeting the pope?

Could the bogan possibly think that glassing or getting glassed is their ticket to sucess? In my experience, you are more macho and ‘get more roots’ if you bruise, break skin, break nose, and/or receive stiches!

18 01 2010
Beck

No. Good heavens, no. This one, I do not like. :(

18 01 2010
Lee

The most despicable, low life cunt of a thing to do to someone.
I enjoyed going out large during my twenties but I am also glad it’s behind me. A few quiet ones at the local, a nice meal somewhere or drinks at a friends house is as far as it goes for me now.

18 01 2010
Loftie

In their ‘special room’ i trust??

18 01 2010
Lee

Meaning what exactly?

18 01 2010
Nelson Esq

suggesting that your friends are bogans and they have a ‘good room’ as described on blog #63

18 01 2010
Lee

I was a little slow on the uptake and realised after I had posted.
No special rooms, especially ones as hideous as the one in the photo and our friend loftie can assume all he/she wants!

18 01 2010
Paddington

How thin is the veneer of civility, and how easily stripped away.

18 01 2010
18 01 2010
Beck

Loftie, You’ll have to excuse me … what is your link to?

18 01 2010
Beck

Never mind, I realise now it was just a misplaced post :)

19 01 2010
Loftie

yeah sorry – computer (and the user) sometimes have problems :)

18 01 2010
Simon

New ad for Brizvegas dubbed sleazy and boganesque. Who’d have thunk it?

http://www.news.com.au/travel/news/new-brisbane-tourism-ad-dubbed-sleazy/story-e6frfq80-1225820527213

18 01 2010
toony

Whilst not the most appropriate place for this suggestion, I would like to acknowledge the founding fathers (and mothers) of the new bogan revolution.
I can pinpoint the time when the old bogan morphed into the new sub-species.

V8 Commodore utes, national pride, cash and reality TV…..

For mine, this was the beginning….. TBL could acknowledge this as…. as… a mark of respect…

18 01 2010
Simon

Or as a day of mourning. I know national holiday. Just need a name for the day.

18 01 2010
toony

Sylvania Day?
A shrine could be built perhaps?
After all, it is in the Shire….

18 01 2010
Lee

Sylvania waters these days is ultra wogan.

18 01 2010
Bec

I detest that ‘glass’ is now a verb. (Well, it may have been before, but whatever.)

18 01 2010
Robbie

I work as a security guard at a Sydney CBD nightclub and witnessed a near glassing last Saturday night. The male bogue, put off after being rejected by his female equivalent, picked up an empty cruiser bottle and smashed the neck off the bottle on the bar and tried to hit the poor fem bogue in the face. After being held back, he then attempted to glass myself and another guard.

Now I know that security guards don’t have the best reputation out there (thanks to our good friends at ACA/TT/any Packer owned paper) but having to put up with these morons week in, week out gets a bit hard after a while.

What I found funny was that the male bogue didn’t seem to realise that being 150+ kgs and looking like he hadn’t showered in 3 days would be a turn off to the fem bogue, or any female for that matter.

19 01 2010
Tristram

While the vast majority of other entries have been amusing this one has left me feeling just one emotion (well, not entirely true but this one stands out), and that’s sadness.
The damage done in an assault like this could stay with someone for the whole of their lives. An innocent (?) victim with a scarred face is not funny, but it’s important to highlight it all, the funny, the bad and the ugly.

As for the recent car crash killing 5 young kids, I didn’t find anything about that funny either. Nothing about it, it’s just plain sad. It’s also sad seeing 3 other idiots caught speeding nearby so soon after the event.

19 01 2010
TheLoadedDog

The following is not a joke:

When i worked in a pub years ago, when the atmosphere got aggressive, we’d keep the empty glass collection happening as a priority, and no glassings would ever occur. Despite the original blog post, no bogan will EVER use a glass that still has beer in it. You can hate somebody enough to risk gaol but not 90c worth of Tooheys New.

19 01 2010
Loftie

It only takes about 2 seconds for a bogan to chug a pot of beer remember…

Though to be fair… in that time he may have forgotten what all the fuss was about (think goldfish attention span/memory)…

Maybe you’re right…

What were we talking about again??? *(confused look)*

13 02 2010
Louie

Female bogues are responsible for a large percentage of the glassings on the Gold Coast, and it’s usually preceded by one or both of the protaganists throwing their drinks in the other bogue’s face. I don’t know if the thought that they’ve just wasted a $10 glass of vodka and Red Bull even enters their mind prior to the glass entering their face.

20 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. http://tinyurl.com/ye537xw 0.19% alcohol blood reading. A “tragic” “accident” indeed…

20 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

http://www.theage.com.au/national/despicable-glassing-ends-in-jail-20100119-mj44.html

Judge Campton said, and he began slurring her by calling her an ”ugly lesbian c—” and ”a f—ing lesbian dyke”

Case study in Glassing Cunts.

This arsehole is a teacher FFS. Hope he enjoys his holiday romance with Bubba in the big house.

20 01 2010
shazza

Fiona, I suspect you may be sociopathic so have no capacity for empathic thought. On the slight chance you may care, I will explain to you why your post is incorrect,
It is the outcome, in this case five dead young people, that makes the event tragic. The fact the driver was behaving stupidly does not detract from this point.
And unless the young man drove into the tree deliberately, and there is no reason for you to suspect this is the case, then it is an accident.
It really is a cheap shot to keep bringing this up in a forum intended to be humorous. I hope any friends or family of those boys that may log on to TBL understand that some of us disagree with you doing so.
I’ll get off the soapbox now. You can take the girl out of social work, but you can’t take the social work out of the girl.

20 01 2010
Sam

Sad as it is, it was certainly not an accident as there was reckless speed involved.

Accident implies no fault and no apparent cause.

There was fault and there was cause if the car was travelling 150km/h in a 70km/h zone (or whatever it was – I can’t remember but it was very fast).

Under legal instruction, police do not use the term “accident” anymore, they use the term “incident”.

20 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Not much point trying to explain this to Shazza. She’s just so emotionally involved in sticking up for her fellow bogans.

20 01 2010
shazza

Sam, as the the survivor was being rushed to hospital the emergency staff would have been referring to a road accident. Tomato/Tomarto.
The issue is intent.

20 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I can go so far as to agree it was tragic for the tree.

21 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It’s the tragedy that just keeps on giving… This time, decorum, fashion and class were the victims: http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/photo-gallery/gallery-e6frf94x-1225820470183?page=4

24 01 2010
Melissa

I really love reading this website and enjoy the often witty but also harmless comments that are often posted. However, reading some of the above comments really, really disheartened me.
Just like many people, I enjoy having a giggle at some of the cringeworthy bogan behaviours of our fellow Australians. I like to think that’s what the writers on here are poking fun at and attacking- the behaviours, not actual people. (and they do it well! hilarious.)
Reading comments where someone would actually make fun of a car crash killing 5 people or what people are wearing to a funeral… I mean what the frick, fiona of toorak- you must have a reaaally strange disregard for life… or is it just a strange disregard for some lives? The second is actually much, much worse.
I bet the majority of the ‘bogans’ you enjoy cruelly poking fun at (and unlike many other posters, the way you have done it is indeed cruel..) would never stoop so low as to poke fun at your accidental death if, god forbid, that ever happened. Just remember that. You may place yourself on a higher plane because you are not as classless as them but do not assume the rest of your qualities (kindness,decency etc) are superior as well.
Now I’m sure you could actually be a perfectly good and lovely person in real life and I don’t wish to offend you but please watch what you put out into the world. Some of your other comments in previous posts (I know it’s not just you, I’m sorry to be picking on you..) have been just as bad.It’s no use encouraging people to not be bogans via your comments if you’re instead encouraging them to be morally questionable a**holes. It’s also bizarre that when people have questioned you about your opinions, that you’ve accused them of being bogans. Believe me, via your comments you are not portraying yourself as what it is to ‘not be bogan’, but rather what it is to be a bit of a jerk. I actually think some of your posts are very funny, as many others do, but realise that making people laugh and keeping their respect are not mutually exclusive.
I’m sorry if I seem to be attacking you, I seriously don’t mean to… like I said, you could be perfectly lovely.. but I’m a teenage girl who is still developing her opinions about things, beliefs and sense of moral decency etc-along with many of my fellow young Australians- and it just makes me mad to see what kinds influences we can potentially be exposed to and what kinds of examples some of the adults within our society give us.

Ps: I do realise my writing is a bit dodgy.. It is not however a sign that I am secretly a bogan- just that I need to spend less time on facebook. : )

25 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL.

14 02 2010
Daniel

Hi Melissa,

A well constructed argument and you are correct that all life matters.

However, I don’t think the people in this thread are having any less regard for the lives of those people than they did of their own lives – as evidenced by them drinking, getting into high powered machines, disregarded rules and common sense designed for their safety and proceeded to kill them and their friends.

How can you call someone a friend and then risk their life in such a way?

Also, the parents either have no regard for the lives of their children or lack the intelligence necessary to understand and teach the dangers of such behaviour.

It’s very easy to be an irresponsible parent and then play the pity card when it doesn’t go well.

I would strongly suspect that the parents had a “cats in the cradle” nostalgia moment when the kids took a carton of tinnies in the boot of the Holden and did a burnout on their way to a party – “they’ve grown up just like us”. This paragraph is just speculation as I personally know a few responsible bogans. I also know a few oxymorons… and a few morons :) .

Anyway, in conclusion, the people here aren’t treating the people mentioned with any less respect than they treated themselves with. And using correct grammar and not killing yourself with tools of transportation is a clear sign of superiority over your fellow bogan.

This hasn’t been proofread any holes in my construction, reasoning or grammar are either intentional or unintentional.

25 01 2010
Loftie

doing great Fiona… :)

25 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. How do you manage to type when you’re up a tree with one hand on a set of (ineffective) binoculars?

14 02 2010
Daniel

I just received this from my girlfriend. I’m worried that she may be a bogan. Thought you guys could help:

“Lol. Im sitting a pub (sic) drinking archers aqua, i havent had one since grade 8! So good. So what r ur plans today?

I do adore her quite alot but cringe at the thought of a life spent in boganism. Any advice would be welcome as you guys seem quite the authorities on bogans.

16 03 2010
Jay

And from Toowoomba, X-treme hotbed of boganity, this:

http://www.thechronicle.com.au/story/2010/03/16/man-faces-glassing-trial/

Nothing more to be said, really…

27 04 2010
27 04 2010
Bjorn

Of course it was not the full monty glassing, she through it. Soft!

27 04 2010
Bjorn

Oh no, spelling.

6 06 2010
Laura

I ALM0ST saw a glassing of a “cunt” tonight, at the hands of a bogan. A bogan chick, no less. I was getting in a cab in the city after a friend’s birthday bash, and a bogan chick of about twenty and her friend of a similar age appeared on the sidewalk like (decidedly skanky) bats out of hell, rending the late Melbourne night with her dulcet tones. “YA FUCKIN DEEV0 CUNT, STAY THE FUCK AWAY, YA CUNT! L00K AT MYYYYY FARKEN TITS YA CUNT? I’LL FARKEN KILL YA, YA CARNT, I’LL FARKEN GLASS YA, YA CAAARRRRNT”, she UTTERLY BELL0WED at a meek looking 30ish man and his friend who were WALKING D0WN THE STREET, MINDING THEIR 0WN BUSINESS!!! I daresay they made the awful mistake of looking at the girls quizzically as they passed by. Like every other person could not help but do. After all, to call these girls “skanks” or “bogans” would be to severely euphemise matters.

I’ve NEVER seen behaviour QUITE as boganic as this in my entire life spent around bogans!! Never, not from a he-bogue let alone a she-bogue. My friends and I ended up having to call the police, when the alpha-bogue of the posse of two really did begin to rush the visibly frightened victims (who were actually bigger and stronger than she), and when they started trying to kicking taxi windows in, to strains of, “FARKEN CURRIES, FARKEN L00KIN AT MYYYYY FARKEN TITS, FARK 0FF BACK T0 INDIA!!”

They were completely wired on ice, no question about that. Either that or pcp.

Frightening femmebogues. Frightening.

6 06 2010
TheMon

Very scary Laura. Lucky you didn’t get glassed! I saw a similar thing in a carpark years ago (although I was in the outer suburbs, so no surprise there) Two bogan female’s were rolling around on the ground, with much hair pulling, screeching & girlie punching & scratching. They were both very inebriated. It was quite amusing & repulsive at the same time.

6 06 2010
brad

Where was this carpark? ,is there muddy ground in the immediate vicinity?

16 06 2010
anna

I stumbled across this site because I find bogan lists hilarious. I snigger and decry the characteristics and behaviour of the bogan as much as the next snob. This site, however, goes well beyond what is comfortable for me. It has the fetid stink of an elitism that I would have thought died out years ago or at least only survived as a remnant in fascist circles. You need to be careful about how you form your ideas and how you pass them on to the next generation. Demonising an entire group and attributing characteristics that virtually label them as the criminal class, is dangerous and simply naive. I would argue that white collar criminals, powerful enough to bring down economies, weapon and war makers, and religious fundamentalists ( all probably not originating from bogan origins) are far more likely to have consequences for society. Since you are obviously big on eugenics, choose a better target.

And which ‘entire group’ are we demonising, Anna? TBL

16 06 2010
anna

Bogans clearly.

25 06 2010
Lord Stitchner

While we’re on the topic of car crashes, I would like to pose a hypothetical dilemma:

You’re taking a stroll during the evening, enjoying the crisp night-time air, until a car of the bogan variety tears by and the passengers (or driver) yell out something along the lines of “Hey cocksucker!”. The driver, distracted from the road by his own hysterical laughter as well as the inevitable high-fives with his friends, loses control of the car and smashes into a tree.

As a passer by, an onlooker, what do you do? Render assistance? Call an ambulance?

As for me, I’d simply be glad that there would be a spot I could relive my bladder – even if that place is littered with the most garish wreaths and ‘piss’ off the kind that comes in stubbies.

I’ll let you guess what I would do at the scene of the accident though.

4 07 2010
Madkant

Personally, people die, it happens all the time. But, Fiona – ur just another rich bitch that daddy payed for living in inner city Melbourne. That is not a bad thing but obviously by the amount of your bullshit/replies you are sadly not a hot one. Bogans are just aussies, we come from the country, the suburbs, and from all over the place to do the shit jobs your daddy doesnt want you to do – or to drive your mining economy and make mass money while u fuck about casting dispertions on the “laymen” Dont pay out on people that have died. Is bad kaama – But your private school bullshit probably never taught you anything about that kinda thing. Daddy wouldnt have liked that hey.

4 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. “Casting dispertions (sic)”. You’ve made a word up! How very bogan of you: http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/26-malapropisms/

4 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle

Didn’t think you’d have the guts…

30 09 2010
ktime

Model glassing conviction may be quashed

http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/model-glassing-conviction-may-be-quashed-20100930-15yiq.html

“…her testimony that the glassing was accidental could have been taken into greater consideration during the trial”

check out the picture: classic bogue court apparel.

30 09 2010
pb

because it looks oh-so-accidental in that cctv footage.

11 10 2010
Benny Hill

8 11 2010
vivisection

It’s official, Fitzroy has gone the way of the bogue. Glad I moved to Brunswick, though i doubt it has more that five years left in it……

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/man-glassed-in-nightclub-20101107-17j56.html

3 12 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

I’m currently on holiday in Italy. Lovely place – incredible history and culture (obviously) to go with great food and hot women. I’ve already resolved to come live here once I can afford to leave Australia.

But I felt I had to share a tale of boganity.

I was in a club in Napoli with a date when I heard, yes, the shriek of the Common Australian Boguette, two to be exact. Having lived in the Sutherland Shire for my entire life, it was an unmissable sound. Naturally, I was surprised and more than a little irritated to hear it in Italy during winter (I’d’ve thought boguettes wouldn’t be so keen on the cold when they could be getting orange back home) but at the same time I was slightly relieved that I was no longer the drunkest in the venue.

Anyway, time passed and I got a closer look at our two boguettes in their habitat when I suddenly witnessed one of them flirting with an Italian lothario who was quite receptive to their limited charms…until his girlfriend showed up. Naturally, the boguette immediately turned psychotic at the sight of competition. When the man’s girlfriend tried to drive her away, she started screaming “WHAT OF IT YA FUCKEN SLUT?” Everyone’s head turned cause she had even screamed over the band. The “slut” in question had enough command of English to know she had just been insulted and replied with a torrent of Italian, and Miss Boguette started with trademark Boguelish “WHAT’D YA SAY? FARKEN WOGS, TASTE SOME AUSSIE TITS!” And she lifted up her top.

Having witnessed the boguette in it’s more natural Kings Cross habitat, I felt it was necessary to use my knowledge to intervene. At this point, however, security did my work for me and ejected both of them – at this point I figured that the fun would be outside and convinced my lady friend to come with me to witness a fairly typical Saturday night in Sydney.

Sure enough, the boguette threw the first punch and while the other girl was stunned at her psychotic behaviour, she had no choice but to retort and eventually the Carabineri had to come and break up the fight before anyone got glassed.

It was a bit disappointing that I couldn’t even get away from the worst of bogan behaviour in Italy, but on the other hand after a nice Neapolitan pizza (a future TBL entry – Ruining Pizza by insisting on really thick bases, shitloads of cheese and all kinds of other bollocks toppings cause they’re maxxtreme) I got laid that night. So in the end, I was happy.

30 12 2010
HappyFriend

While I was in Japan in 2003, at Narita Airport I saw an Adelaide Bogan (they wear skinhead haircuts and mandatory moccasins) calling the police who came to arrest him “a bunch of charlies”.
The police asked me to translate as I speak Japanese.
Apparently the Bogan stayed on the Garuda flight from Bali as he was ‘too pissed’ and tried to exit the airport at the gate.
It’s people like this who give us a shocking reputation overseas.

27 02 2012
Cunt

I’m gonna glass you

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