The bogan briefly enjoyed having a ranga in charge of Australia, but even bogans eventually became tired of jokes about red hair. Caught in a flurry of boats laden with carbon, live cattle, and something to do with Greek debt, the bogan needs a new leader. A strong, soundbite-savvy, one-dimensional aggressor to set everything right in the bogan’s suddenly flustered existence. Someone with enough Real Action potential to reverse any recent, highly distressing changes to Facebook’s layout. With a federal election still some time away, Tony Abbott is not in a position to save the bogan. So the bogan turns to someone with not only red hair, but funny-looking red hair. New (old) jokes become possible (unavoidable).
Donald Trump is everything that the bogan wants from being a bazillionaire: he started by investing in residential real estate, and then became max celeb. Eventually, he scored a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, walked past countless velvet ropes, and now co-owns the Miss Universe beauty pageant. The bogan is also inspired by the idea that Trump gets to be an arsehole to people without repercussions. The 65 year old New Yorker was in Australia recently to record a cameo appearance in Celebrity Apprentice, reminding the bogan that its reality television-driven admiration of Trump is based on solid bogan philosophy.
While the bogan will normally glass any cunt who even utters the term “layoffs”, there are few ways to make a bogan happier than showing it footage of Donald Trump arbitrarily firing people who are striving for reality television excellence. Aside from the TV cameo, and appearances at a glorified business lunch, Trump’s core message to Australia was bogan catnip. It was almost like he knew of the bogan male’s ongoing failings to screw hot Asian chicks in Australian bars. “Screw China”, Trump thundered, referring to the partial pricing power that Australia’s commodity producers currently enjoy over their exports to developing countries in Asia. Screwing a billion Chinese people is like… a billion times better than screwing just one.
Just as Hugh Hefner has grown plump on mass-marketing trashy products carrying a logo that represents high end decadence, Trump is also unsatisfied with merely selling luxury to the very wealthy. $12 Trump cologne, “Trump Ice” bottled water, Trump vodka, Trump steaks (Trumprump?), Trump magazine, a forthcoming Trump online casino, Trump neckties, Trump home furniture, even short courses at the illegally named “Trump University” have followed. Trump sells the idea that looking rich is the pathway to immense wealth, an idea that appeals to bogans more than an interest-free, Hummer-branded Jet ski endorsed by David Guetta. Well, maybe not more than that. But, despite his periodic lawsuits, bankruptcies, and scandals, the Donald looks set to retain his hegemonic relationship over the bogan’s mind and wallet. Trump that, bogans.
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To the bogan, Donald Trump validated extremely stupid hair and Max Markson.
That put him up on the pedestal next to Warney; the patron Saint of Boganic Stupidity.
Donald Trump is an easy target, a bit like shooting a hairy fish in a barrel. TBL this is a lazy attempt at resurrection. Very disappointing.
Love this headline. No wonder the bogans love him =>
http://www.newscorpse.com/ncWP/?p=4256
Trumps rumps. ? Is that what The Don has served on a satin sheet with French rubbing oil and a side of ice cold Bolly ?
I dunno boys. Trump is really more beloved by the American bogan set. He hasn’t really taken off here to the same extent. Mostly cause his products aren’t as available here.
American bogans love him. The normal “The Apprentice” had a bunch of poxy wannabe yogans who want jobs where they do nothing, have no skill, but get to bully everyone and get big money. So the Australian bogan is going to quietly love that but prefer a more Australian version of it where they show more respect for the working class but screw them over anyway.
ah ‘Yogans’,
i learn something new every post
martin has developed an extensive taxonomic matrix of boganity.
the Yogan is the Yuppie Bogan, if I recall correctly…
thanks to Martin, I lke to consider myself a Bohemigan,
but I’m probably just some stoner dufus.
There is no such thing as an “American bogan.” At least not the way the term is defined on this website.
The G.I. Bill, “The Great Society,” hardhat conservatism, evangelical Christianity, Levittown (and white-flight) and, yes, Hugh Hefner, all put paid to that, as has 40 years of neo-liberal economic theory and skyrocketing poverty levels.
In the US you are either down and out or keeping up with the Joneses. There are pockets of behavior and subcultural categories that share “bogan” traits. But the “aspirational” American is too Puritanical and too dour to really let the bogan flag fly. Case in point: there is no American equivalent of the Melbourne Cup. You go in for ponies in the US = you are genuinely posh. The drinking-and-puking brigade is confined to spring break and Mardi Gras, which are seen as stupid college-kid nonsense.
The nouveau riche in America are VERY old-fashioned nouveau riche, and the “poor white trash” are as apt to be Jesus-fearing bible bashers obsessed with church suppers and clean livin’ as with the grim, vindictive and ancient amorality associated with the back country. As for poverty-level urban black America–what is a faddish, ugly, inappropriate bogan pastime in suburban Perth or Sydney is deadly, decadent reality in the South Bronx or Compton.
Australians in general are rich and safe in ways that their socioeconomic counterparts in the US, the UK and elsewhere can’t begin to fathom. It is a backhanded compliment to Australian society that the Australian bogan is the highest-class low-class nobody on the planet.
Two Words: New Jersey
Kentucky Derby.
The Kentucky Derby involves drinking to excess and fannishish foolishness, but is located, in practical terms, a million miles from anywhere and is therefore simply not the sort of thing the Aussie-type bogan would care to appropriate.
The New York horse event of the season is this:
http://www.harrimancup.org
No bogans. WASPs, Yalies, UVA men, preppies, douchebags, yuppies, snobs, Black American Princesses, American Psychos, and other often extremely unpleasant types. But no bogans. Note the picture of the girls wearing fascinators. No cleavage, no tipsiness, no nuttin’.
BTW, I am not holding up the Harriman Cup as “better.” Only a fool would point to the setting of “The Great Gatsby” and say “go thou and do likewise.” But “Gatsby,” when you think about it, is what America has instead of bogans.
Zelda Fitzgerald is a bogan?
well there is a z in her name.
New Jersey, by which you mean “The Jersey Shore” is a window into the “guido” culture, which is exclusively Italian-American and ethnic neighborhoods situated directly adjacent. It is not a large percentage of how Americans behave, whatever their political or economic status and has no sympathy or interconnection whatsoever with the more traditional “redneck”.
New Jersey itself is far more varied a place.
I can believe this. Whenever I’ve played computer games against Americans they seem a lot more civilised. Far less bogan wankers so that whatever bogan mongs there are they can’t set the scene and the tone. Where as here it’s usually the bogan scum who carry on like they’re the best ocker ever who usually do.
Ah we have the Guido culture. It’s called Muzza culture.
The oompa loompaesque spray on tan, shirt off abs rippling, gang signs for the white guy, gunz, bitches and bling….there is your American Bogan – Douche Bags.
See “Guido” above.
The closest thing to an actual Australian-type bogan in the US would probably be the Hollywood wanna-be, who also has a spray-on tan, etc.
Not so, a Red Neck is a Red Neck……….
regardless if they live here or in the U.S.A.
Have seen and sadly experienced both versions
See below.
“Rednecks” are specifically without the finances to live the bogan lifestyle…and most likely would not care one way or the other about the celebrity-culture the bogan seems obsessed with.
Some good points, BP.
I have plenty of American and Canadian acquaintances I’ve chatted to online for years. I think it’s instructive that the Canadians I know GET Things Bogans Like and The Bogue & Boguette Show (shameless plug!) instantly. I might have to explain some of the slang, but the Canucks understand TBL and B&B on a sophisticated level.
The Americans don’t get it, full stop. Even if I explain an episode to them, line by line.
I think this is partly due to irony and satire not being so prominent in American comedy (which tends to rely more on slapstick and repartee), but more due to the social and cultural differences, some of which you mentioned.
I remember trying to explain the concept of “bogan” to a Yank … the conversation went something like this:
YANK: What’s a bogan?
ME: Sort of like a redneck, but different. They tend to have more money.
YANK: Ah, so if they have money, they’re not rednecks then.
ME: Well, they have redneck values and redneck opinions, but many bogans hold well-paying jobs and are paying off McMansions.
YANK: Oh, like yuppies then?
ME: No, nothing like yuppies. They don’t live in inner city areas. They tend to live in outer suburban areas, have limited education, often work in blue-collar jobs, hold very conservative opinions, but many are prosperous. So opposite to yuppies in many respects.
YANK: If they’re not educated how come they’re rich? They’re not like rednecks at all.
Et cetera et cetera ad nauseam till kingdom come.
Well, I’m a yank, and I trust that I get it. But I would say that it’s not a cultural norm over here.
In some ways, many of the things that are most frightening or at least frustrating about American society – the influence of religion, the tired hangover of 1950s conservatism – may also provide brakes on the wholesale devolution otherwise faced by what’s left of working class America.
I must not understand the term redneck then – I see them as potentially having a lot of money but having particular attitudes.
I think the best way to describe bogans goes something like “You know how most teenagers are? Well they’re the same but they’re adults.”
Rednecks are rural/agricultural and generally are seen as working class or poverty-level in terms of income.
You can also be a completely respectable person and be a “redneck”–it’s about the conservative rural values part of the equation as much as anything else. Some rednecks display bogan-like behavior; just as many are small-c conservatives and church-goers. Which may not be your cup or tea nor mine, but has nothing to do with the behavior critiqued here.
beautiful. nicely put.
many thanks.
nice to see the self referential linkage count rising again. I think David Guetta and Jet Skis could probably get links too.
I still don’t know who David Guetta is.
I vaguely know who Trump is – mostly by virtue of his wildly implausible hair – possibly a bit of a dark horse in the Bogan pantheon of worthy transient role models, but he surely ticks all the boxes. Is he still running for PotUSoA? If he actually wins it could trigger a wave of social upheaval in this country and give new life to the republican movement as Bogans riot for the right to elect a celebrity as president also
Me neither. It has to be a good thing. David Guetta sounds like the techno equivalent of Ed Hardy. Techno generally being the Supre of music.
no, he’s not still running for president, fortunately. unfortunately, newt gingrich still is running for president. over the weekend he said he’d arrest ‘activist’ judges (i.e. a court makes a ruling he doesn’t like then it’s off to prison for the judge). hopefully australia’s morons extraordinaire like alan jones, andrew bolt and barnaby joyce don’t hear about that or they’ll be suggesting it over here.
P’bee, did we discuss Camus earlier? If so I have started The Fall, most excellent so far.
we did discuss camus, and the fall is brilliant. i’ve been meaning to read more ballard, too, but haven’t gotten around to it yet.
Cool, I don’t reckon The Trump would be approved of by Camus.
I loved The Stranger, Simon. (No, not The Stranger TBL referred to in #28. I’m talking about the Camus novel.)
It’s only short; I got through it in a couple of sessions. But profound.
Yeah, I read that in about 3 hours sitting in a park in Brisbane whilst my wife trawled through the shops. Great book. Have you tried The Rebel, that is a bit heavier going.
I’m waiting for the boys to bring The Stranger out of the cupboard.
the rebel is very dense, i found. excellent, but requires full intellectual engagement when reading it.
I read generally when I go to bed so had some trouble with The Rebel. I was nodding off a bit, it’s a tough book to get a flow going with but was worth the effort. I confess not to being 100% across what his points were.
Oh, and P’bee, it’s spelt intoolecshool!
profuse apologies for my spelling error.
s’kay
I liek Sci-Fi!
spaceships.
intelligent spaceships.
think about that…
Caek,
Have you tried Solaris by Stanislaw Lem?
It’s graet. Or Ray Bradbury, Farenheit 451 , The Martian Cronicles etc.
I liked the movie Simon:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0307479/
Not seen it. Apparently the original Russian verion is a masterpiece.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069293/
Not seen that either, bloody good book though.
looks good. reminds me of a brian aldiss series called Helliconia. there was a research sattellite from earth orbiting helliconia, but they were billions of light years from home and all went batshit and started worshipping giant walking penises.
George Clooney could have help[ed out.
The Republicans sure like to exploit the bogues affection for
#239 – Talking About Joining the Army
Trump was saying something like starting WW3 because the Chinese weren’t doing what the US wanted with their currency. Even though the world’s financial ills are mostly because of Goldman Sachs and all that and the bogans love for
#174 – Pyramids
I’d love to see a whole heap of bogans slaughtered in WW3 but I’m still under 40 so I could very well be conscripted. So f$ck that.
“they died nobly… and in great numbers”
I’m with you with about the consequences of a potential scrap with China… I actually joined the army to pay for uni and I’m still under 40, so I assume in the worse case scenario, I’d be the first to get tapped on the shoulder.
Its not so much the idea of going to war, it’s the idea of going to war against someone that might be able to hand out some whoop arse (no offence against our erstwhile enemies past and present, but they’ve been a bit of push over) Thats something us Australians haven’t had to contend with since our glorious almost-victory in Gallipoli against the Viet Cong!
Yeah that too. I think people would have learned not to just run head on into machine guns by now.
Yay! TBL is back!
But then you had to remind me that Scrivener’s Fancy is dead :(
Can’t it all I guess (unless you’re the Donald)
Just a slight point pendant, you are missing a have.
Welcome back!
Does that make Pendant a have-not?
Donald’s face is a tribute to the surgeons arts. Have you seen him try to talk? He has to screw up his eyes and duck lip just to make words come out. Is he Owen Wilson’s dad?
I think Owen Wilson is made from a similar polymer to Richard Wilkins and hence has no Dad.
ah welcome back TBL. missed u :-(
i got one question , is that hair real?
The hair is real, the rest of the body is just there to hold the hair up.
I recogonise that the words that come out of his mouth are spoken in english, but they make no sense whatsoever.
He’s a bit like Ray Martin, the body is but a transportation device for teh hair.
Any excuse will do for Pavement!
Zzzzz
I once worked with a man who handled the PR for Trump’s casinos. The stories he told of this crotch-faced buffoon were worse than anything actually shown on television.
I had the supreme pleasure of seeing him in person at a theater opening with his current wife. Her face would shatter if she used it for anything other than her now-permanent slightly-open-mouthed sex-doll insert-penis-here expression. His hair, under the chandelier light of the lobby, was the pink of cotton candy. They posed for pictures, spent 20 minutes getting seated and left ten minutes into the first act after making sure the photogs had gone.
Howard Hughes-levels of sociopathic narcissist radiate off this ass-cloud. Minus the Spruce Goose, 1950s Las Vegas, dating Jean Harlow or anything else remotely interesting.
He is obviously an intelligent man, but he comes across as dumb as a rock. It is confusing to watch him. Sometimes I believe that he made his wealth through rat-cunning and luck. If you have heard any of his political commentary, he just sounds like an idiot.
The Donald’s political commentary is designed to fit on bumper stickers, hence a perfect fit for the attention span of his fans. “Kill the Arabs and Take Their Oil,” I believe he recently said in so many words. What a diplomat. What a visionary. He’s saying what we’re all thinking. If it weren’t fer that subliminal #39 flowing through our veins via incidental doses of SBS and the ABC, we’d all be Trumpathisers. Don’t hate him because he’s beautiful…
On the other hand, he should be strung up for being so nonchalant and smug in his single-handed killing of the USFL. But that’s a different, and excellent, ESPN story. Or CSPN, as President Trump calls it – Communist Sports Programming Network.
Oh, and Happy 250th, Things Bogans Like. You’re, like, as old as the American Civil War. When’s that gonna end? Word is the Don likes to play General Lee in annual reenactments on the roof of Trump Tower, with Rosie O’Donnell as Ulysses Grant. Quite the grudge match.
As we have previously noted, marketers of bogan products
are obviously readers of the site.
I received my Aust. Muscle Car mag in the mail yesterday.
There is an ad for car washing stuff.
Yellow Monaro, check.
Chevy badge, check.
Hot Asian Chick draped over bonnet, check.
Bogan dollars roll in.
Hmmm, Australian Muscle Car magazine eh? They just correctly know they’re audience.
Darn i
Speaking of bogan-product box-tickin’…
http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/The-marketing-campaign-thats-totally-below-the-belt/?from=scroller&pos=3&referrer=home&link=text
The edginess… the maxtremity… the bottomless pit of painfully obvious puns… the gasps and guffaws…
Surprised guttersucking marketers didn’t think of it before the likes of the now only semi-maxtreme Mother and Monster and whatever the fark. Look out for gaggles of drunken farkwicz asking for it by name at your nearest 7-Eleven.
But this article leads to a bigger question: Why the fark would a feminist bother writing for News Ltd? Pushing female eunuchs uphill there.
ugh. that makes lots of other bogan products and marketing look highbrow by comparison.
but melinda tankard reist isn’t really a feminist. she’s head of the ‘won’t somebody think of the children?’ brigade.
i mean she does have elements of feminism and i definitely agree with her here, but she’s the one behind the anti bill henson campaign, recently got some (women’s size) undies withdrawn from sale because they had slightly ‘naughty’ phrases on them and were marketed at the youth demographic – apparently the selling of undies that say ‘my boyfriend loves me’ or something like that is going to lead to rampant teen pregnancy – and assorted other modesty campaigns.
I’ll be damned. Only thing I know about her is she wrote that article. Bit of a Helen Lovejoy, eh? Bummer. Quite the clout she must have for a mere blogger… I mean, to get slogan-bearing undies taken off the market an’ all…
Take note, TBL. Use your considerable influence to help speed up the demise of, like, I dunno, farken, Ed Hardy? Wait, no… uh, Krispy Kreme? Hm… no again… Hey, Hey, It’s… like, fuck it. EmotionDrums™? They still around? Whatever. Say what you want about the bogue’s slavery to broad trends, ‘Fuck Off, We’re Full’ stickers ain’t going no place. They’ll stay where they are, thank ya very much, nestled uneasily to the right of the ‘My Family’ stickers on the back of the lairy urban 4×4.
Interesting to note The Punch comment-makers refer to Reist as MTR, aka Melbourne’s own dead-in-the-arse conservative talkback radio station.
That’s it. I’m out. That is about as low as you can stoop Branson. F*CK you and your stupid goatee.
I’m genuinely pissed at that. Why would we let them sell that sh&t?
Poor 15 year old checkout chicks having to put up with sad pussy jokes from limp d*ck
Bogans. Fark.
I’m so annoyed I hit submit early.
I would glass Branson but I’ve already glassed him several times. Carnt.
But don’t diss goatees. Goatees are sick.
And no, I will not be making pussy jokes. I have learnt by now that they will not get me #124.
It has been widely accepted that the goatee is the modern day version of the mullet.
That, number two haircuts and eyebrow piercings.
All bogan.
True dat.
Before I get flamed for making sweeping generalisations, I will disclose that because of bad hair genes I sport a number two cut.
I try and justify it by saying It fits my outdoorsy, athletic lifestyle. That is a lie. My hair fell out.
TBL# 846535 – Refusing to grow old gracefully.
Nah. Growing old gracefully is bogan. Because that usually means listening to 2GB, watching ACA and bitching about people.
I’m a baldy too Mick, cept I do a 1. Number 2s are for libtards. I justify it because, well, I’m bald, and thankfully these days having a shaved head doesn’t mean you’re a punk or a neo nazi. I guess I can thank hipsters for that.
#251-Goatees
hey, whatever right?
I had a buddy who went bald at 22. that stings. he did the yeah yeah and it made a new man of him.
otherwise,
I personally enjoy the trappings of wisdom.
I grew a wee flavour saver for a bit just ‘cos it was white, (the rest of my beard has a touch of the ‘rang and rarely gets past three days)
someone called it a Shannol Noll and I cut that sucker off
swiftly.
what were we talking about?
Naaaa the “goatee” is not as bad as the hair gelled upwards look by young men in cheap suits.
They look like they’ve been dragged backwards through a bush or maybe licked their fingers and put them in a power socket.
Oh and don’t forget the super pointy shoes those young blokes wear, to compliment the cheap suit with pencil legs. Makes me cringe to look at them.
Breaking news about Donalds hair.
I heard trump’s hair killed elvis and JFK.
anna nicole smith was just stupidity though.
Poor bastard should just BUY a WIG and be done with it. Imagine what he looks like when he washes his hair? Eeeeeeeeeeeek it would all be hanging down to his shoulders with a shiny solar panel in the middle. Must take hours to arrange that birds nest on the top of his head, plus a can of hair spray per day to make it stay there. Repeat: Poor bastard, or poor/rich bastard….. Either way he just looks STUPID
anyone else see 9 news’ report on some big w online orders being delayed? apparently having to wait until a week into january for things to arrive has completely ruined christmas. there’s even a facebook page. i mean sure, it’d be annoying that something you ordered was late in arriving, but it seems people are so consumed by the materialistic orgy that a week delay on getting stuff is as bad as stepping on kittens to some.
I believe it was 38 orders out of all of the orders placed! Doesn’t sound like a major catastrophe to me. How many orders would they have received in total?
the true spirit of the season…
we were considering buying goats for african kiddies for our mob, but the bloodshed would have rivalled Kampuchea.
This is the sort of monstrosity that The Donald and his hair would travel in if he was an Aussie.
http://www.gtlimousines.com.au/
Bad taste grows bigger and better every day.
Quote of the day
http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/meet-the-ugly-australian/
Paul says:07:49am | 21/12/11
I saw a great poster in Bali one: “Don’t smoke or drink when pregnant, or your baby will be an Australian”
Thinks that while TBL were off on their four weeks at Noosa Spicey Tracer and Ms Corbett thought it was ok to ride their skateboards up and down the driveway:
http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ten-great-ways-to-pick-and-avoid-giant-douche-bags/
I’ve seen a few comments on here now linking to “thepunch.com.au”.
Seriously what sort of brain dead bogan do you have to be to be reading the Murdoch press in Australia? As a first step might I advise using Firefox and the add-on Murdoch Block
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/murdoch-block/
OK fellas. We all know that bogans love foreign language tattoos. But now I’ve just spotted at a Chinese restaurant … a Roman numeral tatt.
Young bloke has five numbers on the back of his neck – VI III VI VIII V
I’m at a loss tying to figure it out. It’s not an American zip code, it can’t be a birthdate … I’m trying to think of a whimsical, humorous explanation. But I can’t. So I’ll throw it over to youse.
63685. Deep. I’d love to meet him seeing as he’s a self appointed really interesting person.
They add up to 28, maybe that’s when he lost his anal virginity and turned gay.
I’m gonna assume of them is meant to be 69.
Can’t really be a date either, since there are only 12 months to the year, and no more than 31 days to a month. P.I.N for his credit card ? They use 5 digits rather than 4, I think.
Regarding the Trump, I have the theory that he is what Richie Rich grew up to be. Unless of course he was kidnapped and sent back to his parents in pieces. In that case he grew up to be Casper the Friendly Ghost. Along the way to becoming Donald Trump, in the former extrapolation of events, he bore a close resemblance to Draco Malfoy for a period during his teens.
In other Trump related news I recently saw an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire in which he made a cameo appearance. He was fawned over be Will Smiths on-screen cousin Carlton, departed the set giving a sort of salute which resembled the 1968 olympic podium Black Power protest, or character played by Judd Nelson’s appropriation of it in The Breakfast Club. It was a risable example of substance-less 80’s coolism.
I can say this for Donald, his impudence is astonishing. Among his many exploits was his law-suit against a German bank. The property development he borrowed money from them to build ran into problems, and wasn’t completed. Then he sued them saying that he had defaulted on the loan (which he naturally hadn’t repaid). his testicles necessitate his extraordinary trademark hairstyle, otherwise he would constantly be charged with indecent exposure, but they are obviously large.
“…fawned over BY…”
“…sued them FOR saying…”
“His testicles necessitate…”
I did check the post over before sending it, really.
I asked a couple of local bogans at the pub, and 4 out of 5 said it was 69. I then asked what LXIX is and they all recon it’s going down on a chick.
Half right.
Not a farkin clue Urban, unless he is just trying to get ahead of the trend curve, or a maxtreme wanker, actually that bit probably goes without saying.
roman numerical tatts are a huge hit with fighters. saw a few with some guys i used to train with. something to do with ‘romans were rool fighters mate’ or something like that..
not sure what the number 63685 means, maybe the number of moronic acts he intends to do before hitting the grave?
according to google 63685 is a hospital code for some spinal anaesthetic.
it’s also a youtube user with no videos, posts or details, and a house for sale in joshua tree, california.
i doubt any of those are the meaning, though.
it adds up to XXVIII
if you’re into roman numerology.
I’m not.
oh.
martin already said that.
fµcking martin.
T.B.L. # 251 – Unwise Foreign Tattoos ?
… or Unwise Foreign Cocktails.
http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/home/australia-says-bali-tattoo-likely-gave-patient-hiv/486796
http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2011/10/12/3337722.htm
And, better late than never, it’s time for the latest episode of …
THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!
And this week … we celebrate Christmas with the Bogues … meet Boguette’s parents … and Ryan & Bogue hatch a scheme which almost blows up in their faces!
http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2011/12/24/episode-49-merry-boguemas/
Merry Boguemas, everyone!
Merry Something Something everybody.
Yeah back at ya Mr Moar,
Merry something to ewes all.
Baa-baa-baa phftt phftt
Have a great Christmas and be excellent to each other.
merry christmas and happy gorging to everyone.
Donald Trump is not actually a very good business man.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-stories-about-donald-trump-you-wont-believe-are-true_p2/
See Story #1. Most of his businesses have failed and he has lost hundreds of millions of dollars of other peoples money.
had to share this – overly spoilt brats complaining about not being overly spoilt enough: http://www.eatliver.com/img/2011/8193.jpg
i want to stop hating humanity but with people like these around, it’s never going to happen.
I don’t blame them. Status at that age is often dependent on how rich your parents are. I still hate them though.
Thanks for bringing that to our attention.
My glassin’ paw is busier than Santa at this time of year. F*ckin sh!tface brats.
I got NBA League Pass for Christmas from my folks and it’s the best gift I’ve received from them since I got a new guitar for my 18th.
I don’t own an iPhone or any kind of smartphone. I’ve been using a $40 Nokia for a year ever since my old and better mobile went in the wash.
Oh… Those disgusting little shits!!!!
Send them all to boot camp I say…
Spawn of the Devil and affluent parents….
= Greedy little fuckers………
#251 Revelling In The Illnesses Of Oneself & Others:
http://m.news.com.au/WA/fi938616.htm
T.B.L. # 252 – Being a jackass with nerf guns in a public place ?
nerf guns are awesome.
I got a nerf gun for christmas.
really!
but it’s only for shooting Tony Abbott on the telly.
and ads which annoy me.
which is most of them.
I would never point it at strangers on a highway.
unless they were tony abbott.
what about if they were wearing tony abbott t-shirt?
are they on a highway?
Things Goths Liked
(~+* ƐǷȊҞ ʗɧѻѻи!!! *+~)
have a graet year Un-Bogues.
Yes, welcome back.
Things really are tough.
I went to get lunch today.
It seems that men can only
afford shorts, shirts seem
to be unavailable.
It’s the economy
Panda,
We’ll all be rooned!
If they stop wearing shorts
I’ll be first in line to contribute.
I’ll be on the first plane out.
I just got back from Queensland (I’m from Melbourne). There’re a lot of tattooed people up there. We stayed in Bundaberg for a few days and while we were eating in the food court my nine year old son says “this is like Frankston.” :)
Jeebus, is Frankston that bad?
Yep, Frankston is that bad and more………..
Fart, Howza bin ?
Question to me is why did any one stay in Bundy for a few days ? Hours ? maybe. Minutes, OK you gotta fill up tank fo you can put pleanty distance behind you, but days ??
Naaaaaaaaaaaaah they stayed in Bundy cos they liked it. Shirtless bas*tards…..
Am a tad fond of Shirtless bas*stards tho’,
especially if they are young and juicy men…
Am officially a ‘dirty old woman’ now,
maybe always ‘dirty’
but now ‘old’… too.
YeeHaaaa…..
My wife’s mum lives there.
They should make all the libtards move to Frankston. I don’t know why. It would just be funny.
Bit harsh on the Frankstonites Martin. Can’t fit that many soccer mums in 1 town.
Wtf. Libtards aren’t soccer mums. They wear flowery dresses, cheap sandals, and drive a 10 year old hatchback. They’re far more preferable parentally wise.
You’re thinking of yogans. F#ck you. If you were to send the yogans there you’d start a civil war. Which would also be funny. Yogans vs bogans. I’d put my money on the bogans. Although the yogans would probably do well at the start, they carry a lot of hate and they have all those 4WDs.
F*CK you Martin. When they spawn libtard mums turn into rabid consumers coz now they have an excuse. “It’s for teh kids, they are safer in a Prado, blah blah blah”
As a resident of Frankston, I think I have become immune. Sirens are background noise. Swearing as everyday conversation, no worries. The reality isnt that bad and just like the residents of places like Elizabeth, we take the bogan pride to the maxxxxtreme. I am now going to the Information centre to obtain as many I heart Frankston products as possible.
Well I’m not tatoo adorned or from Bundy but southern pricks whinging about my state shit me off so fuck of back to wogville and don’t come back.
On a lighter note I think a whole new scene is waiting in the “Brogan” our friends from the land of the long white cloud are swarming here on mass and they seriously put the Aussie bogan like myself to shame. black cars, silver fern tats and stickers, bro hand shakes rampant crime the list goes on for ever.
Don’t hate tattoos, hate stupid tattoos.
Southern Cross, tribal tats, corporate logos and partners’ names all fit this category. Some might argue sports teams logos but I won’t here given some of my own ink.
Tatts are now the domain of the bogan Karnt, sorry but true in this brave new world.
Sadly, I think you’re right Si – there’s a tattoo shop on unley road,
the facebook page says it all for me.
After decades of being vaguely maligned and regarded with suspicion, I now have to put up with facebook kiddies saying shit like “sweet tatties” and asking where I got my sick ink. I’m not even certain exactly what it is which shits me about it so much. I guess it’s my own fault for making tatts look sooooooo damn cool. My mother tells me she’s considering getting a “garter” tattoo like Betty Boop. I actually vomited. f*cking bogan. I never stood a chance.
further to the lycra discussion below; surely the bogan is making giant strides into the cycling scene.
just give me this one –
If you actually still have the beer belly, you’re probably not really ready for the lycra yet.
not that I’m saying they’re just some cashed up scenester who might get another rush of blood to the head about this time next year and dust off their Giant TCR to try and milk some cred out of the Lance Armstrong fantasy suit again,
but others might.
It must be an absolute boon to Adelaide cycle shops having an international cycling event this soon after the New Years Resolution season. All that pretty bogan bait sure beats the hell out of a mere 250 bucks for a pair of Brooks and flogging it out through pre dawn mist under sodium vapour in an old Regurgitator T-Shirt when no-one can see you.
amirite???
anyway. Heading down to wilunga this weekend. I’ve got a big old cow bell and I’m gonna stand by the road and belt the hell out of it if anyone comes near!
I probably won’t have time to catch any cycling, but.
I should also mention that in the local Video Ezy, in Bundy, the foreign films are in the same section as the adult films under Adult/Foreign.
Easy to explain- you have to be able to read.
I work in a Vid Ezy. I’ve had parents come in to hire out Horror movies for their 7 year old daughters. I’ve also had them hiring G.T.A., Call of Duty and Saints Row games for kids under ten, even after I point out the rating and the content and say “Are you SURE about this choice?”
Scariest thing is the size of the Wrestling section. (The kiddies love them.) It had previously been lumped in with “Special Interest”, which also includes a pitiful number of documentaries. I separated them because I got sick of sifting through the dross every time the AFL grand final was on, and the sane people came in to hire. (Actually, I do foster a quiet, guilty pride that my son, at the age of five, made a bogan cub cry by announcing that wrestling was fake.)
Welcome to 2012, everyone.
Things Bogans Like #673: Highway pie shops.
It seems that every major inter-capital highway has to have its towns whose entire economy is based on the presence of a pie shop. These shops are usually advertised with massive billboards which more or less command you, upon pain of death, to stop and engorge yourself on a pie.
The Pacific Highway has two famous pie shops, at Heatherbrae and Frederickton. Whenever you tell someone you are travelling on the Pacific, people will go “Oh, Urban, you just HAVE to stop at Pie Shop X. They have the most fantastic pies!” or “Don’t stop when you get to Y, you don’t know what you’re missing!”
So you stop and go into one of these pie places. There are more full-sleeve tattoos than a Hells Angels national convention. More sunglasses perched on top of baseball caps than the dugouts at Yankee Stadium. More scrawny cross-eyed seven-year-old brats with ADHD and buzzcuts and rats’ tails running riot than at a Penriff Panfers home match.
And the thing is … the pies aren’t actually that good. I had a chilli beef pie at one of them, and it didn’t have a milligram of chilli in it that I could discern. Maybe the proprietors know about bogans’ aversion to any flavour that isn’t tomato sauce.
Things Bogans Like #892: Never straying more than 200 metres from the motorway.
Much of the Pacific Highway has now been upgraded to motorway or near-motorway standard. This means that many towns which once thrived on passing traffic are now off the highway on old alignments. These alignments are usually well signed so it’s easy to get back on the motorway; they’re seldom more than one or two kilometres longer than the new motorway; and you also have those big blue signs which advertise which services are available in the bypassed town.
But no. The bogan doesn’t like going too far from the motorway. They might … might … might get LOST! So instead they get their petrol from those massive “service centres” right on the motorway with 24 bowsers and more fluorescent lighting than an operating theatre complete with (insert your favourite fast food franchises here). And the petrol’s 5 cents more expensive than in town, too.
Meanwhile, gorgeous little towns like Karuah or Kew (which is even less than 200 metres from the motorway!) hang on for grim life. Places where you could get delicious non-franchised burgers or fish and chips from locally owned businesses, eat it at a picnic shelter at the Lions or Rotary park and enjoy the scenery are now just a shell of their former selves. I think everything in Karuah has shut except for one roadhouse and the RSL.
Oh, and I agree with Panda … what’s with all this shirtlessness going on? I mean, I can understand going shirtless if you’re a hottie. But bogans aren’t. For God’s sake, cover up! The world doesn’t need to see your latest Southern Cross tatt or the names of the five kids you’ve had to five different mothers in copperplate script tastefully adorning your sunburnt skin.
But Urban, the bogan needs the Golden arches when straying from it’s McMansion, ya might get gastro or somfink at a local greasy spoon. The bogans stomach is a delicate instrument not used to variation in diet.
Love for Maccas, shirtless!
Jesus wept!
That has to be make believe. Please tell me so.
Yes, the average bogan does enjoy the shirtlessness. Only for themselves but.
If someone who is actually fit and ripped gets their shirt off to go for a run, the bogan will snort and say things along the lines of “Look at this poser” or “Who’s he trying to impress”.
The bogan is very insecure.
Haha, so true. Doesn’t have to be ripped. Just in something resembling physical shape.
Unless they’ve spent a lot of time getting #11. In that case, bogans be mirin’.
Fredo Pies are graet! I never miss them. Colour me bogan.
I go shirtless around the house a lot, but never outside it. I love Polos. Scored a handful of really nice pastel polos at the DeeJays post crissmass sales. I like wearing faggy colours so I don’t look like a tryhard bogan weekend warrior pocket gangster with all my hard core tattoos ‘n’ stuff.
It prob’ly doesn’t work.
I saw footage of myself on Once Apon a Time in Cabramatta last night. I was wearing a flanno. Am I a Celebrity now?
Fredo Pies are graet! I never miss them. Colour me bogan.
I go shirtless around the house a lot, but never outside it. I love Polos. Scored a handful of really nice pastel polos at the DeeJays post crissmass sales. I like wearing girly colours so I don’t look like a tryhard bogan weekend warrior pocket gangster with all my hard core tattoos ‘n’ stuff.
It prob’ly doesn’t work.
I saw footage of myself on Once Apon a Time in Cabramatta last night. I was wearing a flanno. Am I a Celebrity now?
You are now qualified to have your own 2 hour live TV show every morning.
“Get a Chubby every morning, 2 hours of fun, chat, rifle maintenance, home-made fashion tips & caek baeking.
“Chew the Phat with Chubby!”
today – The Politics of Shoplifting, Sexing Cannabis Plants and Australia’s Top Five Shopping Malls for Paintball Assaults on Random Strangers!
but first:
please welcome Modest Mouse!
Later this week the Ghosts of Oliver Reed and William S. Burroughs discuss the future of Greek Bonds in the Post Scarcity Economy.
Morning Chubby is brought to you by insouciance, The Old Testament and clouds.
Chubby wears Very Little
Shoes by Karandonis.
Modest Mouse appear courtesy of Epic Records
MCMLXXIV The Bloodfart Group
And next week on Morning Chubby,
we answer the question,
How many breakfast show hosts
can fit inside a wheely bin?
(The answer is a lot, if you chop them very finely)
How did my reply end up there?
/\
I
And so much for all the apologies, new post?
Someones messin with the Fonz aaaayyy!
I heard that Maccas’ stock went up by 34% last year.
The Mayans were right, the world is fcked.
You can now bet on who Stephanie Rice’s
next boyfreind will be. There will not be a link.
Please, nuke us all now.
I’m betting on The Terrograph Panda. They don’t come any lower.
The Mayans did not see this coming Panda.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2012/01/guess-this-dribbler/#comments
she’s fighting a losing battle, but i support her in it: http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/aussie-slobs–pull-your-socks-up-or-at-least-put-some-on-20120105-1pmtx.html
She’s right on the money p’bee, I have been weaning myself away from jeans/shorts&T-shirt guy & people notice. You take a shirt out of the wardrobe instead of the drawer & you get a different response. At Christmas my mother told me to take my good clothes off so they wouldn’t get dirty.
You know what, I don’t own a tshirt. And won’t wear short sleeve shirts either, they are for nogans.
Simon you’ll find yourself on a watch list if you are not carefull. ;-)
What do you wear when you train? Smart Casual?
Lycra tuxedo.
I don’t own a watch either, which deducts points apparently.
Well a watch is weight & drag, which cyclists hate.
I just had a mental picture of someone doing a spin class in nice trousers & shirt with a pants clip on their leg.
Bit like this?
http://www.bicycles.net.au/forums/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=22013&start=1425
Scan down the page a bit and you will see my training partner Panda. I think you will agree she is a tasteful dresser!
Tasty is right!
But I was thinking along these lines.
Next years Giro d Italia.
Next years Tour Down Under.
Pandabike
does your lycra tuxedo have lycra tails? purely for aerodynamic reasons, of course.
I haven’t been able to find one with tails yet, could get caught in the chain I suppose.
lovely. although the cummerbund should be orange to match the bow tie.
Do orange tyres on the bike count?
i guess coordinating tyres is a start.
So what the hell do you wear in summer? Idiot. A singlet? Armpits are rad.
I agree with the article there is a certain pride Australian men take in dressing ordinarily or even downright gross. You definitely have to make sure you’re not “overdressed”.
I’ve never worn a singlet in my life, uurrgh.
Polo shirts around the house or just dropping to the shops. Proper shirt for anything else. I did this living in the far north as well so f#ck you.
Interestingly when on holiday in tropical climes we spent a day sea kyaking around islands. On the boat were Europeans who were amazed by how much clothing we wore, board shorts and long sleeved shirt (sleeves rolled up a bit) with collar and cap. They wore budgies all day and thought we must be hot. Not so and also not roasted to lobster colour by the end of the day.
Many years in the far north of WA taught me to cover up and I like the heat so no problems, unlike you Sydney pussies who panic if the temp goes over 30.
A polo shirt is a short sleeved shirt. Idiot.
Yeah it’s been good so far, it’s only been about 20 degrees today.
Nah it’s not. A polo is a polo and they can be long sleeved, a shirt has buttons all the way down and short sleeves, in this case, is nerd central.
20, almost Corona weather huh.
No. Certainly was in your neck of the woods. Cooling down a bit I see, might be good weather for some croquet with Christopher Pyne and Alexander Downer. Make sure you brush up on the posh accent.
Wilco old chap!
Spurning the short sleeves and tie must have cost you business up capricornia way Si!
Did you go to the cricket Martin?
No. I’m not a bogan. Why would I go and watch a bunch of hideously overpaid tossers play with a ball? I’d rather rob them than pay them.
I did however watch the Top Gear episode where they went to India where at the end Clarkson used the term “the misery of cricket”. So therefore he’s my mate. I don’t really like Top Gear per se but I like it when they visit other countries and I can listen to his non pc critique.
I was wondering how many bogans nudged their mate as they left and said “I love bashing curries”.
Top Gear is awesome, just not on Nein.
I went for a couple of days with my dad and little sister – we cut a weird image given he was wearing an old Sachin Tendulkar shirt that he’s owned forever and carrying an Indian flag, where as we were both in our bogan finest (I even broke out an old “Support it or F*ck Off T-shirt that I got given as a gag gift by a mate at Xmas – if I were white there’s no way I would have made it past security).
Outside the ground I was picking a race war at some point, but inside it was sweet. Probably cause the Swami Army managed to out-bogan the bogans, and bogans do tend to give grudging respect to those immigrants who can outdo them at their own game.
Also, Simon, check out tomorrow’s Adelaide Sunday paper. I have to read it for work – there’s a few great letters on lycra-wearing po0fs like yaself.
There is only one letter there Karnt. I looked up the article from the previous week. You can guarantee that at least once a month the state paper, Scum, Terroriser etc will run a lycra bashing article. The only people who bother with those papers are bogans and they love to stir them up. I’m surprised ACA/TT are not doing weekly stories on the terror and mayhem created by citizens getting out in the fresh air and getting some exersize and socialising.
Fark, we will all be rooned. Teh rool world blah blah blah.
i was saddened to read a couple of days ago a friend’s facebook status bemoaning who cyclists never obey the road rules and always cause accidents. it got a lot of positive comments, including one calling for cyclists to be run over (fortunately i’m not friends with that particular nitwit). even otherwise sensible people turn into bogans when there are cyclists around.
It’s a weird thing P’bee. Cyclists garner a lot of rage. It’s rare to ride in the city area and not get abused. I just don’t get it.
When did you last hear of someone getting killed by a cyclist? Coz yeh we bounce off cars so well we just go out looking to cause accidents, good fun that trip to hospital! These people are imbeciles. I hope you set em straight.
They must be jealous of cyclists’ fitness because they’re on a one way trip to diabetes, heart attacks, and strokes.
On tele it was those two women, the woman who won australian apprentice recently and magda szubanksi who said cyclists should be run over on tv. They’re both fatties.
True dat Martin.
Few weeks ago during a race up in the hills I was competing in a huge Hambeast poked her scone out the passengers window as she drove past (chevadore of course) and screamed “youse are all a bunch of farkin carnts”. Wide open road, nice day, no inconvenience to her or her zoo keeper.
I commented that it was her mating call to the group, much giggling.
They must feel threatened, ashamed of their fatness, something? Bogans!
Tall poppy, if you’re not some fat disgusting underachieving dumb f#ck, then you think you’re good.
Good thing I have a strong superiority complex or it may get to me.
If I was ever to glass a woman that isn’t Pink, that Celebrity apprentice woman would be top o teh list.
Devastating breaking news, three days ago, I think. Maybe four. Who cares.
The Mazda 3 has replaced the Holden Commode as Ostraya’s top selling car.
Maxtreme angst will be reverberating through outer suburban McMansions.
And TBL, hows about a piece on those ultimate nautical bogues – “Sea Shepard” (Enterprises Pty Ltd.). Whales (and dolphins) are dear to the bogan heart and mind, a condition savvily identified by the “Sea Shepard” (Enterprises Pty Ltd.) T-shirt and other stuff marketing division.
Naaaah. Bogans are against killing whales and dolphins mostly coz it’s them dirty Japs who do in ‘n shit and everyone knows ‘Straya owns all the waters in the Antarctica and that, so it’s like them dirty Japs are stealing from us.
But they don’t like Sea Shepherd for the same reason they don’t like Greenpeace and other environmental groups – buncha commie-pinko-lesbo-vego-libtard-hippie-greenies. Bogans believe that the guvmint should get down there and start shooting the Japs before they start invading our country and bringing their whaling ways ‘n shit.
(And yes, I am a paid member of Sea Shepherd and am looking to join one of their boats next summer – I wanted to go this year but sickness intervened).
Ya gunna glass ya self some Japs Karnt?
Should the opportunity arise, fark yeah.
They’ll just have to make their sv6/8 and xr6/8 commies and falcons even more garish, tacky and anti social in response so that people will not want the base models even more.
It’s amazing how they make a car actually look kind of cool, give it a bit of guts, and people want it, the mazda3 that is. All the car companies have been building identical looking, boring spaceship pieces of shit for about 20 years. Further proof that CEOs are a bunch of yogan, oligarchial f#cktards.
I was truly surprised by that. Do Libtards out number bogans? Or is it the ecomomys fault. I would have sworn Prado is the most popular.
Mazda3 drivers are still bogans, they’re just not maxxtreme bogans. I think they’re mainly yogans, or wannabe yogans. Or they’re just people that wanted a car that goes alright and doesn’t look completely boring.
Sif libtards outnumber bogans. They only do that on Q&A, and people who watch Spicks & Specks, and idiots who buy the Fairfax broadsheets and think they aren’t bogan.
I think the number of prado drivers can definitely be attributed to the ponzi economy, one of the reasons why I’m stinging for a recesssion/depression. As long as it’s me who doesn’t suffer.
And Ford is almost certain to cancel the Falcon in four years. Their strategy is apparently to sell a single mid-size vehicle world wide. It’s like Great-Grandpa Henry has returned from the grave, and has asserted that everyone should be driving the same car (the Model T or later the Model A) in the same colour (“You can have any color you like, so long as it’s black”).
Rolls Royce and Bentley are what’s killing the Commodore and Falcon – http://www.caradvice.com.au/155050/rolls-royce-breaks-sales-record-in-2011-bentley-up-37-per-cent/ –
apparently.
Global Financial Whut???
Ooops. Spelling!
It’s “Sea Shepherd” (Enterprises Pty Ltd.).
Beautiful article – you could substitute “brute” for “bogan” and this could just about be the “What is a bogan today?” page of this website.
http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/in-an-ocean-of-brutishness-there-are-some-islands-of-decency-20120108-1pq2e.html
the latest moronic stuff from the opposition about migrants – they don’t know about deodorant: http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8400551/teach-migrants-about-deodorant-queues-mp
And for anyone wondering if it is still possible to get a tattoo and be cool the final piece of evidence is in and the verdict is a resounding no. (sorry JH)
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/entertainment/confidential/justin-bieber-gets-jesus-tattoo/story-e6frf96o-1226240672534
with pictures! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2082856/Justin-Bieber-shows-new-Jesus-leg-tattoo-hits-beach-LA.html
So many f#ckwits, so few glasses!
His dad looks like he’s about 25, and a douche!
#TBL 19293 : Living your life through your kids. But it’s worked for this douche.
James is an old school tatt guy. Not a new age douche tatt guy.
Is jesus looking up at the sun or the moon?
It looks like an eye rolling to me.
Those poxy nogans from whirlpool banned me. Does anyone know of any good forums I can troll at?
I tried at the punch. Regarding the 3 heroes who stuck it to those jap bastards I commented that if we only got rid of the whales then none of this would have happened but they didn’t let it through. Dunno why.
The Herald Scum is a dud as well. Posting as an angry bogan is no good because they all are. Sarcasm is instant delete as is helpful advice. What’s a whirlpool Martin?
And what did you do to get banned?
It’s just a forum.
I just said that Lancers were a wigger tosser car. It’s PC gone mad. Can’t even speak the truth anymore.
That’s not trolling, just an accurate observation! They don’t deserve you Martin.
MSN ? Youtube ? The latter is fish in a barrel though.
Perhaps The Left Flank, that site is chocka with cranky libtards. I’m gunna give it a try.
I tried trolling them once, but they pissed me off so much I ended up glassing some carnt with a bottle of Jameson’s.
A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre.
So the bartender gave her one.
Thank you & goodnight.
rene descartes walks into a bar.
the barman asks him if he’d like a beer.
descartes replies, ‘i think not’, and disappears.
A preist, a nun and a Rabbi walk into a bar and the Barman says “What is this, some sort of Joke?”
Pretty lame tbl, boguns recognise the Don as a wanker which he is. This seems to be more like “People tbl don’t like” than anything. How about “Talking on Mobiles in public” for e.g.
The difference is the bogan will try and emulate him and consider themselves a hero and thoroughly embrace being a wanker. Libtards and non bogans will try and emulate him and consider themselves lucky and a bit of a dirty spiv.
Summer Nats 2012, those people really know how to promote a positive image of their hobby, motor-sport.
http://the-riotact.com/the-steve-nogas-incident-at-summernats/63254
I like how they all held each other back until they were sure nobody would be brave enough to hit someone. Pure bogan.
Sweet Jesus, they may as well all whip em out and have a stroke off. Pathetic bogans.
Fiona, please don’t in any way associate summerknobs with motorsport.
Motorsport is a speed competition not a flexin’ competition.
I got invited to go with some mates a couple of years back, but I had to decline cause I was off to Fiji instead.
I’m now considering maybe going next year for anthropological purposes.
You’d fit right in Karnt.
1:37 to 2:37
Self-Explanatory
Damn, didn’t copy. Take Two
I give up.
I must have a magic computer because all three worked.
Actually, I played all three at the same time, starting them 15 seconds apart.
It’s like at school when we would all sing Kookaburra Sits In The Old Gum Tree at different times.
*Shoot him up the arse with a 303*
Nice Mick ! I was trying to link a Summernats clip of the the “Show us your breasts” type, however. I’ll try once more, and if it doesn’t work this I’ll go and defenestrate the Mac. Here goes…
Isn’t literature wonderful, even vomiting is an event to be celebrated.
“I went in a rush from the table to the men’s room, and in the stall, locked the door, knelt, and retched again for the second time that night, feeling as humble as a saint, I knew now that a saint would set his head near a throne expecting the cleanest air to lay like a halo on the edge of the fumes. Perhaps I caught a hint of that air, for my burned-up lungs went clear – once again this night I was taking one of those fine new breaths I had not known in twenty years, so it seemed, and then I vomited with all the gusto of a horse on a gallop, cruds, violations, the rot and gas of compromise, the stink of old fears, mildew of discipline, all the biles of habit and the horrors of pretense – ah, here was the heart of the puke! – came thundering out with the fluid intent downrushing sounds of a stream tearing through the wood to recover its river,” Norman Mailer, An American Dream.
Wow.
Read a book.
You learn stuff and everything.
Norman would know a bit about vomiting I reckon. Pretty good writer but his opinion of his own awesomeness pervades a few of his books. The Naked and the Dead is brilliant.
It’s a challenging read but rewarding all the same.
I will see if the library has any more.
I think ego is a writing prerequiste.
the biles of habit really burn on the way back up.
http://danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_362639/ed-hardy-vodka-750ml
This is what Simon wants for his birthday. Along with a case of Tooheys Red, and some Woody cans.
It will go well with the AC/DC wine.
http://danmurphys.com.au/product-group/for-those-about-to-rock
Where’s me Bundy?
To celebrate our latest hero David Warner,
here’s the other Dave Warner with what would
be our national anthem if the bogans were
in charge.
Trumpys’ aussie celebrity tradesman mate Mark Bouris had some sound investment advise in Sundays’ paper.
Buy a house now at the top of the market, renovate it & then sell in a falling market with no buyers. What a genius. Oh, he flogs mortgages doesn’t he?
Slap.
ok, in posting this i am admitting that in boredom i clicked on a woman’s day article which is a horribly shameful thing to do, but the first woman in this article seriously named her kids jordan (fine if overused), natashja (ooh, aren’t we exotic?) and xzavaier (bogan to the power of infinity). http://womansday.ninemsn.com.au/healthanddiet/diet/8399409/how-we-halved-our-body-weight-we-lost-242kg
my first response is – Although that is a lot of weight, it is, clearly, not enough weight.
isn’t it cute that she uses the diminutive “tashj” for her girl? I bet that’s pronounced “tashie”. even exoticker.
and Xzavaier??? how do you even pronounce that???
my best guess is “H’zav-I-Yay” an old Sprench name perhaps?
nah. I bet she couldn’t even find Sprance on a map.
geez I’m funny eh?
WOW, those ladies did well.
Cannot imagine being so awfully tubby.
Over eating makes me; literally, physically sick….
Hat’s off to those ladies.
Sad tho’ cos of the bogan names for the Innocent kiddies
Even moar if you use a barrel, as we are wont to do in Adelaide.
*This program is brought to you by the Snowtown 5 with technical assistance from Bevan Spencer Von Einem*
oh,
now I get it.
very drÔle.
yes
right now serial killers are cruising adelaide in bicycle kit to blend in with the crowd, scouting victims.
WARNING Do not accept a double dink in Adelaide this week from anyone not involved in some sort of sanctioned pelleton.
sooper day for a cycle Simon, I’d be out there myself but the Shogun is on the bench – I need to find something heavier to bang the pedals back on.
I think there’s a picture somewhere…
Not till end of school hols.
Funnily enough, there is another, quite different version of Warnies escape from pushie madness.
http://www.cyclingtipsblog.com/2012/01/cyclist-versus-warnie-the-cyclists-story/
Been following this Panda, I reckon I trust the cyclists version more than Warnie.
Warnie – The Tool – had been tweeting anti cycling for several days before this incident so methinks he has made himself into the victim to back up his ignorant twitting.
I gave the Scum a comment about how getting fatty boombahs out of 4wd’s and onto bikes would make the roads safer and less crowded. Curiously it remain unpublished!
Warnie sounds like he’s rolling up 10 stories into 1.
Like his pies…
I think all that botox and Orange dye has pretty much f*cked whatever functional braincells he may once have had.
Warnie just said,
I might have put my foot down and tried to hit him,” he said
Yeh really Warnie, your fault after all huh, f*ckwit.
Don’t need that sort of trash in my country.
Deport him!
now now, simon, he only tried to hit the guy, it’s not like he’s a pig-ignorant anti-cyclist who did anything wrong. nothing could be further from the truth, and casting aspersions on the saintly warney is a very naughty thing to do.
Yep agree with Mr Glasser… all the orange dye did his limited brain cells in. Not to mention the litre of tooth whitener, buckets of moisturizer and the botox he hasn’t had…. cough.. cough… Poor tosser looks like a shop dummy with personality to match. To make matters worse now he’s aiming at poor cyclists so he can get some more media attention. Sigh…………………
Simon, I had three tries at getting something similar published yesterday, same result. I think you need to take your spelling and grammar down about six notches, put half your post in caps and throw in an “onya Warnie”. Then you might have a chance. It depresses me; the plonkers who post all the angry anti-biker crap are one of the reasons why I am too sh#tscared to ride the roads nowadays.
the other thing that struck me about this comment is the parallels with domestic abuse – “you made me hit you, it wasn’t my fault i was violent, it was your fault for bringing it on yourself”.
As it should! there are too many of these lycra clad deadshits clogging our roads now, in fact I have a big bullbar on my 4wd to stop any of these mid life crisis/ latte sipping libtard dickheads damaging my grill
Absolutely! The roads should only be for monosyllabic f#cktards with anger management issues. And when you wrap your 4WD with its big bullbar around a tree somewhere and your idiot mates leave flowers, Jack Daniels bottles and angst-ridden Pink Floyd lyrics by the side of the road, I’ll be happy to swing by and relieve myself all over them.
CJ shoots and scores! Spent the day on the bike today following the TDU. Over the course of 160km of riding I got abused 3 times by bogans headed in the other direction and were not inconvenienced in the slightest. 102,000 people watched today’s stage. That many people would not watch all the combined Rugby games in a weekend. Must be doing the bogans head in. Suck sh*t bogans.
I read the comments section today over the bike-hatin’ Warnie. I knew there was some venom out there but some of the stuff I read is out and out psychotic. Did bike riders eat their babies or something?
Is there any way we could just swap populations with a nice country? If we did it like a reality show none of the bogans would realise that they were being spirited out.
Maybe Botswana. They were the nicest people I ever met. That would just blow the bogan’s mind. Exchanged in the middle of the night for darkies who have donkeys instead of chevodores.
babies is a particular delicacy amongst cyclists – think of it as post-training bonding. footy teams go to bali and get pissed, cyclists dine on a banquet of babies.
Bogans never call them cyclists. That would give the bike rider credibility as some sort of sportsman or adventurer. That, and they would have to learn a new word.
Tell me p’bee, what would one wear astride one of these?
http://wot.motortrend.com/the-latest-lightweights-from-porsche-road-bikes-100831.html
A Porsche bicycle. Wonder what abuse they would hurl at a rider on one of these.
burberry lycra. and a flourescent fur waistcoat for visibility at night.
Of course. Obvious really.
what a spectacular f*cktard.
remarkable.
and then to finish off with a vague threat to the effect that if you don’t get yr pushie out of the traffic she’ll kill you with her X5 (prob’ly)
Babies are good, nice and small so you can put them in your jersey pocket and take a bite whenever energy is running low.
If Warnie could read he would take that quote and use it against your lot.
we’re lucky he can’t read then.
Yeah, and for a while there they were cheaper than bananas.
ha! those were the days!
angelina jolie and madonna buggered that up!
We ended up having to make our own baby, and now after waiting nine months, we’re reluctant to eat her all at once, but the doctor is getting suspicious, he says limbs don’t normally just “fall off” babies. I told him our little girl is *special*
(especially with my wholegrain pesto mustard twice baked souffles)
LoL
Heeheeheeh p’bee you’re funny. Let’s hope the F*cktard Bazzzzaaaaa will get out of Primary School soon and learn to spell??????
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/warnes-right-cyclists-are-out-of-control/story-e6frfhqf-1226247829128
“We are sick of the dangerous fiction that the road is there to share. In fact, the road is there for cars. Bicycles are there under sufferance.”
So that’s the reason, not because they’re a pack of unfit bogans, it’s because they literally think they own the road.
so cyclists are out of control because they’re driving on the road like they’re legally required to. miranda gets nuttier with each day.
i left a comment but i doubt it’ll be published.
what a spectacular f*cktard.
remarkable.
and then to finish off with a vague threat to the effect that if you don’t get yr pushie out of the traffic she’ll kill you with her X5 (prob’ly)
I gave her a comment too P’bee. Amazing how someone with so few braincells gets through life, let alone holds down a job.
Sorry chockie but there won’t be any releiving onself on the side of the road, one reason I doubt you would be able to get the tackle out of the lycra and secondly that sort of behavior still gets people bashed up here where I reside. The whole thing is that these tools aren’t in the Tour de France there is nothing more rediculous than a middle aged pot bellied fool in lycra with the dick flange helmet clip cloping around the footpaths buying a latte. Why can’t they wear boardies and a T shirt like every one else?
Blank, why are you a f*ckwit is more the question.
Yep Mr Glasser, I’m with you.
we’ve been over this before, so…
kthxbye
i know it’s still early days, but this is a real contender for worst thing a politician says this year: http://www.smh.com.au/national/abbott-cruise-ship-joke-lacks-judgement-20120120-1q9cp.html
“Comment is being sought from Mr Abbott, who is this morning riding in a bicycle cancer charity event in South Australia”
It’s because he’s a cyclist…probably eats babies too.
I rest my case, Mick is on the money. Simone are you in some drug induced state of randomness or just low of intelligence?
OOO, feminising my name, how insulting. Which case are you resting?
someone say Drugs?*
*(Parody Comment) – since I began eating babies, I am no longer doing drugs?
I love babies, But I couldn’t eat a whole one.
That is a joke, with a punch line.
I walked into a shoe shop today & asked for a pair of shoelaces.
We don’t sell shoelaces, says the lady behind the counter.
I turned my head to confirm I was in a shoe shop.
When I turned back she was not smiling.
I left smiling, but not in a funny way.
This is not a joke.
I am still waiting for the punch line.
Maybe she thought you were the type who needed velcro to keep your boots on.
Yes Mick, well I was wearing a halloween mask, arseless chaps & a pink top hat at the time so she might have been just been trying to get rid of me. ;-)
See? There’s always an explanation.
*Home clothes are for home*
*Home clothes are for home*
…Did you soil those Chaps, Young Man?
just waet ’til your father gets home.
Yeah, and stop eteing babies.
I’ll stop eating babies when they stop
being so damn delicious.*
*No babies were harmed during the making of this comment.
heeheehee very funny Mr Panda
Oh Mr Panda, “arseless chaps”, am a tad fond of men’s cheeky cheeks, where do you live so I can stalk you. Dirty Old Brain
Fart strikes again, don’t worry I’m female.
Um, thanks, I think.
I live inside that little box on
your desk that you keep
yelling at. :-)
There is a movie on Sunday arvo
just for you. Seven2 1-30pm.
Mr Panda, really Love Bob Hope and have seen that movie. Loved it.
I’m already very, very ,very happily married.
We might be ‘old farts’? But Mr Fart is the best most wonderful man in the world.
Don’t mind having the odd perv tho’ on a cheeky, cheeky, man bottom. Also fond of checking out the odd sausage……Noooooooooo
Not the ones at the butchers shop!!!
Dearie me, Blank. You bang on about using your bullbar as a lethal weapon, and get all butthurt about me taking a whizz on one of your boagesque roadside shrines. Funny, dat.
P’bee, caek, et al: you sound like nice people.
Simon: you are the wind beneath my wings. 2012 will be the year I regrow some man-sized cojones and take to the streets in my faggoty lycra again.
“Blank” : Listen up, sport. In ’96 (while you were probably learning how to squirt your digested strained pears into a potty) I was snotted by some gobshyte in a shitbox Magna outside the Highway Inn and sustained five broken ribs and a smashed-to-shyte collarbone. In a week I was back on a mag trainer; in under three weeks I was back to grinding out laps at the Unley pool in a vain attempt to salvage something for the upcoming triathlon season. See, here’s the thing little man: we bike-riding poofs know how to suck down pain like you will never, ever know in your entire, miserable life. Even the old grannies I saw slogging it up Menglers Hill today are tougher than you. So bring it on, you and your big bull bar. Like the bumper sticker says: “Hit me, I need the money”. And like Tex Perkins says: “Better get a lawyer, son. Better get a real good one.” Get a clue, numbnuts.
Steady on Chockie your starting to rave, I’m don’t give a shit about your perceived injustices or injuries arising from your activities, in fact as I recall in 96 I was toiling away underground in a gold mine not riding around on a push bike. being a baby boomer and having worked in the mining business for 30 yrs (that’s moines to you) Mrs Blank and I enjoy a rating 1 for life and are very secure financially so rest assured when we hit the highway and byways of this great nation retards trying to sue are the least of my concerne. that is assuming you can get legal aid to lodge said claim. What has any of this to do with the Don being a bogun idol anyway
Riiiight…… Well, I guess as a fellow boomer, and therefore jointly responsible for all of society’s ills, we have some common ground. That and a rating 1 for life. Oh yeah, and a 4WD in the garage. And a preference these days for boardies over lycra thanks to my being more George Costanza than George Clooney.
I don’t give a sh@t if you were holding a stop/go sign in a hole in WA a decade ago, knock yerself out. I’m not going to argue transport economics, or the rights of road users, or anything else with someone with a fourth-grader’s command of the English language. This is getting boring. Piss off.
I like you.
every now and then we get a troll hanging around for a bit.
this one is slightly more persistant and less articulate than most. he brought quite a few chums at one point.
or a heap of socks. he’s changed his name now and thinks no-one realises.
I like it. I rant at them.
it keeps my mind fresh. like doing those word, puzzle, things.
with the clue,
and you write the words in…
and it’s black where the spaces aren’t.
anyway.
Me thinks, “Blank” should go into the kitchen and glass him/herself.
Please use a cheap, thin, glass for maximum effect.
We might even send you a get well card if you do enough damage?
Tell the Dr’s it was a Community Service Exercise.
Thanking you in advance.
And … guess what’s back? Yes folks, it’s time to resume the …
BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!
And this week – Bogue and Boguette experience the “justice” system first hand – and find that “the land of the fair go” ain’t what it’s cracked up to be!
http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/episode-50-though-the-heavens-fall/
Good to have you back Urban.
Thanks Simon :)
personalised plates are a wank.
of course.
but I saw a tweaked black mazda (lol) yesterday with the plate DESIATO
and thought it was clever.
anyone else?
any Nurd who goes to that much trouble just for the entertainment of other Nurds like me desrves a nod.
even if his car is a joke
Letter to the editor in today’s Age …
IS IT possible to see a photo of Lleyton Hewitt with his mouth closed?
Brian Morley, Nunawading
STOP IT! STOP IT!
Youse all are splittin me sides!
Perth news tonight – Swan River fish are dying from the heat.
Why the fark would any sane fish be in Perth in summertime?
“nd now, on the eve of Australia Day, to be told that it’s racist to have that same flag as a tattoo or on their car brands them a racist is just so much doggerel. Racis”
for anyone who missed it.
Australia Day Car Flag Flyers ‘Racist’| University of WA http://bit.ly/y8jh60
the survey is just meh and duh but the comments are awesome.
even better than
i think it just goes to show that the people most likely to leave comments on articles/videos/etc about any research are those least likely to have read and understood what it is they’re commenting on.
was it you who posted the twitter reactions to “God is not Great”? after hitchins died?
#godisnotgreat whoever said dat I hope you get shot so you die and I can eat you and shit you out so I can kill you again
doggerel:
bogans are dumb
shoot them in the bum
if youse dont like it leave
I probally wont grieave
cos u’s are not aussie
like a BBq mossie
u’s are all fukt
and should go and drive a truck
at the mines.
oi oi oi.
lol
also:
“Proscuitto crudo on ciabatta. Excellent proscuitto, just needed a bit more complexity.”
everyone’s a foody now.
now,
I love a complex proscuitto Myself,
but,
food, like MMA, Golf and Sex is something to do, not something to watch or yakk on about. unless you’re actually at the table with me, I don’t give a toss about your tryhard johnny came lately watched too much masterchef opinions on the eateries in New Farm, Hamilton, West End or Dulwich Hill.
“The first impression on the front palate is Hipster, with subtle overtones of bandwagoneering. With continued reading, however, this rapidly devolves into a sad pastiche of bogan malapropism and lukewarm metaphors which just can’t be rescued by the aspirational smatterings of coolsie postcodes. Well written, Overbaked .4/10”
TBL #396 Stale Hipsterism
That was funny moar.
I agree, people who can’t cook, can’t even knock up a green curry are f#cken pussies. All you have to do to be eclectic these days is go to a farken restaurant in your thongs and oakleys and sit there looking like you’re pondering over real estate or the 1/8th italian blood you got in you or something. I want to wee on them.
I reckon we bring back riverdance.
I reckon Simon was a riverdancer.
F*CK you Martin, I used to be Michael Flatley before my new career of Interwebz Ninjaing. I’m a foodie, can cook Thai, Chireese, Italian and Procuitto.
Beats being a U2 fan.
Rode my bike up Mt Hotham this morn, what have you bogans achieved?
I walked for 2 hours the other day. Must have been about 20km I reckon. Got my bald head suburnt and it peeled and I noticed that bogans respected me more, I think I even addressed someone as “mate”. Good to see I’m not beyond repair yet.
Wot? You don’t cook proscuitto, it’s like some bacon shit you buy from a deli.
U2 are sick.
I got some piss today and the piss worker was some pretentious libtard who looked like he was in Spandau Ballet, he was tall and had a posh parted haircut and a little moustache. He was playing some music that wasn’t complete shit and wasn’t half bad. I asked what it was and he said it was “the horrors” in a tone like I had just asked him if he had herpes. I guess he wants to keep it to himself so he can be cool. So I’m telling youse in case you want to check them out and maybe they’ll sell out and he’ll lose them.
Just seeing if you are paying attention. 22′ rims are sick, doesn’t make it right. Anyway I’ m going to walk to the Bright Brewery for a jar or three
Sounds great. I thought you were an Adelaide p00f? On holidays I take it.
I think taking the word sick away from idiots has made it less repulsive and I’m saying it ironically like a libtard. So therefore it’s non-bogan.
Yeah,herefortheAlpineClassic.greatspot,goodbeeraswell.Aren’thipsterstheoneswhodothingsironically?
This OSB went fishing this morning, had my last Bundy Red Can for morning tea. But best of all I overtook a car while going through a speed camera on the way home this arvo. Go Aussie!
Oh I forgot, I saw 5 car flags on the side of the road today. Any higher bidders?
Well I bought my foreign owned beer (James Squire) from Wooiles using my Thai built built Japanese car, whilst wearing an Australian Band’s Tshirt made in a an Asian Country. On the actual day I caught a train made in Australia (ComEng) then drank my foreign owned domestic beer and wore an Australian flag made in china as a cape….. That my Friends is Australia.
The only Australian thing was built by in the 80’s (Tangara)..built by a multinational (Downer EDI)
i saw a few that had fallen off cars onto the road and were being driven over. sacrilege!
and this:
http://bit.ly/vZ5bbw The Horrors discographyt0rrent TPB.
tuck in kids.
ƒµçƙ you Piss Worker!
how’s your hangover Martin?
Not too bad thanks. The good thing about being hungover is that you can drink 2 coffees in the morning.
Any of Eeewwwees…. been to America?
The amount of Septics,
with a FULL on flag pole (complete with flag of course)
in the front yard of suburbia made me cringe….
Big Time.
A flag on the ‘Bogan Chariot’ is nothing compared to the Septics.
check this out http://theaustraliancartoonmuseum.com.au/
This guy Bridges seems to know the Oi, Oi, Oi types.
Am now cringing to the point that Baldrick looks like my Evil Twin.
Baldrick; was full, full, full, of ….’Not so Cunning’ Plans.
Ouch………..!
The Australian Cartoon Museum guy really tells it as it is.
That wuz brilliant moar.
It’s Australia Day. TBL and you people might represent how the larrikin spirit is evolving
Cooee, cobbers.
BUT
Some commentator on the ABC 1 Sraya Day special, from Canberra, wiv a Prime Minister and Guv Gee and all, just thanked the gigs sponsors – Woolworths.
When things like this get in me face, I think the idea of going to live in another country, with a name that ends in “stan”, is not bad. But their beaches are crap, so I’ll just stay here, and sigh a lot.
Just to show my true colours I played some warmachine, 40K and inquisitor,,,,
Are you a Nogan Lol?
Once again I am confused & I need your help.
Why do young men dress like Richard Simmons?
Is ultracamp the 2012 fashion style?
And don’t get me started on Hoodies.
Hoodies are the pits Panda. Ultra camp huh, I’ll keep my eyes open. I wear Lycra though, maybe I will be fashionable one day after all.
Martin will be happy if Ultra camp is in. He is strangely attracted to mend bare arms.
*mens*
One just walked past, lilac shoes, pink shorts & a white singlet. About 14 years old I guess.
I live on the coast, its hot, its humid. How you can wear a long sleeve hoodie with the hood on over a cap or beannie is just beyond me.
I noticed that yesterday when I went to get my grog. It’s an area with some public housing, so they must have been housos. I saw two young men in full black tracksuits with hoods. Weirdos. Oh well, in my opinion it’s probably better than another nauseating yogan in a 4WD, crocs and wearing an “I’m alright Jack screw you” expression. You can’t win.
Nah, I’d send em off to war. If they think they’re so tough they can prove it.
And in this week’s episode of …
THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!
Aiden starts high school – with predictable results!
http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/episode-51-alma-mater/
We should send Bogue to Canberra to sort out the hippies!
Nice one Mr Reverie, go Aiden go. Still think his name should be Ayden tho’, cos Aiden could almost pass for normal…ish.
Met a kid once who was the victim of Bloody tree hugging, hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo, bong loving Hippy parents and they named him ‘Dharma Wind’. Probably sounded good after 6-10 bongs.
Hope that kiddie has divorced his parents
or better yet, sued them for emotional abuse.
Poor kid must be 30 years old by now. How would he explain that name?
Mr Fart and I should have named our kiddies Wind and Windy, that would’ve taught em to be a tad more grateful for having (almost) normal parents.
When did Australia Day become such a big deal? I don’t ever remember it being such a big deal when I was a kid and asked my parents about it and they don’t remember much being made of it when they were young either.
To me it just seems like a day for Bogans to get in everyone’s faces with patriotism bordering on racism. I’m sure the Bogans driving around Broady with flags on their cars think they’re sending some kind of message to the large muslim population who live around there.
Because Australia has become such a pack of carnts we do a lot of naval gazing to hide the fact that we’re a pack of carnts.
Cultural cringe has turned into cultural grunge.
Its a race to the bottom & the bogans are winning.
They certainly are. Patriotism is the last refuge of a carnt.
Good question, MM.
When I was a kid in the 1980s Australia Day was nuffint. There was a ferry race on Sydney Harbour (that warranted a whole thirty seconds’ coverage on National Nine News after the weather), the Mayor of my suburban council would hold a citizenship ceremony in the main park, 2KY would play Waltzing Matilda incessantly, and … umm … that was it.
Then came 1988, and the re-enactment of the tall ships arriving in Sydney Harbour which got coverage on TV across the world … but 1989 and 1990 were no different to 1987 and 1986.
It’s hard to pin down precisely when this boganic breed of misplaced nationalism which brooks no dissent began. My first instincts lead me to guess that it started around 2000, about the time of the Sydney Olympics. But even that doesn’t explain it – while the Olympics gave us that repugnant “Urgghie Urgghie Urgghie! Urrgh urrgh urrgh!” chant, the overt xenophobia came rather later.
And I doubt it was Pauline Hanson – she came, she saw, and she departed by the time this whole jingoistic nonsense began.
I reckon much of the blame can be sheeted home to John Howard – the subtle demonisation of “the other” in his government’s rhetoric certainly led us no closer to a tolerant, decent society (whether “the other” be a refugee seeking safety, a gay person seeking equality, a Musllim wearing funny robes and stuff, a long-term homeless person looking for a break in life or a person with mental illness denied adequate treatment). But even his words and actions don’t quite explain just how virulent the boganic xenophobia has become. And he’s been gone for five years now.
Normally, this sort of reactionary nationalism arises from, well, a reaction to something. A severe economic crisis, a humiliating military defeat, a belligerent working class threatening revolution – none of these apply to Australia in the 2000s.
But things aren’t all sunshine and roses. I’d say the war on terror has a bit to do with this reactive nationalism. Coupled with economic insecurity – yes, I know that we are now enjoying relatively good economic conditions when compared with the rest of the world – but compared to the job security my parents and grandparents enjoyed, most of us have transient or precarious terms of employment. Not to mention mountains of debt, caused by reckless borrowing and reckless lending. And people who are insecure take their insecurities out on someone else. This is something every victim of schoolyard bullying comes to know.
There are no easy answers to your question, MM. But I hope my personal insights give you food for thought.
Good response, Urban.
I think the Cronulla riots gave it a bit of kick along too. It’d be interesting to get the Australia Day newspapers from the past fifteen years and see if there was a year when the coverage jumped significantly from the previous year or whether it’s just been a gradual build up.
It’s solely Howard for mine.
For all the reasons you outlined and more. He was always on the record as being anti-multiculturalism. Australia’s Greatest Monster. He brought jingoism back into fashion. Chat with anyone who worked in the Education System in the Howard years. I think nationalism replaced grammar in the curriculum.
Nationalism replaced mathematics too in the curriculum, Caek. I bought lunch at Macca’s the other day. It cost me $8.15, I tendered a $10 note, the girl behind the counter hit “exact cash” on her register by accident. A look of panic and uncertainty flushed through her face. She was flummoxed for about thirty seconds, then she called over the manager because she didn’t know how much change to give. He didn’t know either. After he ummed and erred a bit, I said the required change was $1.85.
“No, I think it’s $1.75,” he replied.
“100 less 15 is 85.”
“Oh!” And then he gave me the correct change.
The UN’s Education Index says that Australia is the equal-best educated country on the planet (tied with Denmark, New Zealand, Finland and Cuba). I find this very difficult to believe. The UN’s methodology must completely suck, because why else would there be so many f#$king morons in this country?
Hard to believe but maybe we aren’t the world leaders in Moronity we think we are? Those Egyptians can’t be all that clever if they kill each other over soccer, as then there is the US of A.
Arithmetic is for fuggen nerds and people who think they’re good. Love the way the manager just had to try and exert power and be contrary just for the sake of it. What a carnt. Glass him.
What, wait, you bought lunch at Macca’s? Got a death wish Urban?
If you are a manager at Maccas I gues you got to try something to help your self esteem. Bossing around 14 y olds must get boring.
We don’t all fancy living on salad and sultana bran ya lightweight sogan*. A burger and chips every now and then is good for the soul.
*Sogan – someone who is excessively into sports.
I think the biggest influence behind it is globalisation. The bogan, being a breathtakingly wanton slut, wants to both be safe from it and exploit it. But it also deeply values being considered an “Aussie”. Not so much because it values the romantic myth of mateship and the fair go. It is mainly to keep itself safe from the revolutionary hordes should it be an exploiter or from the exploiters should it merely have a job.
That’s friggin awesome Munt.
excellent
Anyone who has ever spent more than five minutes in Perth will relate to this.
Where is Turnips to comment on this?
Sounds like Brisbane’s evil identical twin to me.
Still active on The Worst of Perth. I think he is currently using the birthmark symbol as his avatar and posts as the Lazy Aussie.
“I’m thinkin’ o’ doin’ fly in fly out from Bali.”
they did miss “Brothel? Yeah, down the corner there…”
“This sand gets in everything”
“Over East”
“These pretzels are making me thirsty.”
Oops, wrong video.
“The Doctor” does ruin the beach.
But you’d be dead without it.
It’s a shame Perths Doctor
Does not come with one
of these.
I could help with the sand……..
of course you post amy.
Any excuse.
Why does Adelaide cop so much shit? It’s really getting a hiding today on thepunch.
http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-horror-movie-about-poverty-and-violence/
Are they jealous that it hasn’t sold out to a punch of greaseball yogan spiv scum and it’s still a nice town free of excessive traffic and a hideous cost of living? Or at least it seems to be. I’ve never been there.
Just because they had Bunting, I mean Sydney had Milat. Tassie had Bryant, Melbourne had the biggest Scumderbelly f#ckwits, and everyone in QLD is a dickhead.
LoL, called degenerate by a New Yorker, that’s irony right.
You should come Martin. I’ve lived over a fair bit of Oz and Adelaide is the best city, it can be a bit inward looking but for getting around, cost etc we are great.
Youze are just jealuz.
Oh, and Martin, ya can buy hamburgers at places other than Macca’s ya farking idiot. I had one for lunch. I’m a born salad dodger, that’s why I have to exersize.
hey, yeah!
everyone in Qld is a dickhead!
I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed that before.
Yes. All 4.6 million people in Queensland are dickheads, Caek. Including me and Mick and AlyssaKT and Tombarina. Didn’t you know that?
Where have all these former regulars gone anyway? I think I might have scared Turnips off … So I do solemnly apologise if I am responsible for the Turnip shortage on TBL!
In any case, here’s the latest episode of …
THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!
And this week … Bogue & Boguette leave our golden shores for the first time ever!
http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2012/02/04/episode-52-the-shoulder-of-your-sail/
Damn it, where are they going. The suspense will kill me Urban
first i’m waiting to see if they even make it through customs.
I grew up in Qld.
Kawana Waters.
TBl has sufferred Terminal Hip.
Once you become hip you have to stop, or it isn’t hip anymore.
same thing happened to curt cobain.
nah…Kurt stopped because he reaiised he was in a Pixies cover band.
we need to convince hipsters that blowing your head off is srsly uncool and retro. especially if you are wearing Converse Jack Purcells. ;)
I’m worried now Moar, does this mean that the 6 of us left here are unhip?
speaking for myself; If I was any more hip I wouldn’t need a torso.
and you seem pretty cool too.
but I’m not sure if we should be.
it’s really complicated these days.
we should definately also have beards. It was cool if you used to have a beard, but then everybody was doing it so everyone started shaving again and if you didn’t have a beard it was clearly because you were a chick.
Hip music now is whatever was popular last year, which is whatever was hip five years ago, which was sixties garage.
If you were hip, that is.
F^ck. I think I need a hip replacement.
Or maybe just a transfusion.
I wear glasses, but not hip glasses.
Maybe I am hip.
I read on the weekend that surfers are now wearing unbranded clothing. But only from the right shop.
My tactic is to always remain the same.
Half the time you are leading the pack.
The other half you celebrate being retro.
Yeah I think I’ve noticed that, I don’t see many people being walking billboards. That’s good.
I used to be hip when I was at uni. Or at least I tried to be. I wore converse shoes and I had a red hot chilli peppers blood sugar sex magik shirt and I played bass and smoked bongs. I loved that shirt. Remember when flannos were hip for a while during the grunge years? It was so easy to be hip, or at least hipish. I want grunge back and everyone to be depressed again. I’m sick of all this cheesedick happiness, like you’ve gotta be happy all the time, f#ck off. Now people think they’re entitled to be happy and when they’re not they go psycho. Happiness is bogan.
F^CK I HATE COMPUTERS.
Click here if you have forgotten your login details.
tap tap tap tap
Please enter user name & password.
*Laptop turns into frisbee*
*Panda goes for scotch bottle*
Computers are bogan. They were mistakenly thought otherwise by nogans. They thought they might have a utopian domain where they could be non-bogan and live in some perpetual movie like Tron or The Matrix. Alas they needed the support of the bogan to make money from them. So then the bogan sold the nogan down the river to a bunch of curries when they saw that too many nogans might make a considerable wage without being a year 10 dropout unionised piece of shit like the bogan or some f#ggot old boys club yogan. So now the nogan couldn’t give a f#ck about your shitty computer problems.
251: Samuel Johnson’s voice.
he is the voice of every second ad, isn’t he.
Indeed. Obviously the Bogan’s respond to his dulcet tones.
*Bogans.
Did you all see this. Farkin hilarious.
That’s the first time I’ve seen someone resembling a real artist do a national anthem.
another classic example of what happens if you don’t stop being hip.
or possibly the exception which proves the rule, depending on which University you went to.
Mad Bad & Sad
either way.
TBL #776 – Their Adolescence.
(from another ageing adolescent)
Was Teh Tyler ever cool? Cept perhaps when Run DMC took him along for the ride and he got some reflected cool I’d say not raelly. I mean Love in an Elevator, I don’t want to miss a thing etc, srlsly uncool Caek, now a judge on American Idul? terminal uncoolness, verging on glass teh cunce..
Apply the rule – Would Neil Young do it? No to all of the above.
C’mon TBL and apology and promise of moar posts and here we are nearly 2 months later…………………..wtf.
“Rag Doll” and “Janie’s Got a Gun” are alright. But essentially they remind me of a scab, a big dirty scab you got on your knees when you were a kid, or at least how you feel when you get one. They should sell band aids.
aerosmith did the theme song for armageddon. any possible hip points they ever had (i don’t think they ever had any) where well and truly pissed on and burned by that abomination.
Saw that clip over the weekend. That song is so bad it’s bad. And the Areosmith dudes all look like your dodgy, trying to be cool Uncle.
http://www.888.com/media/get_8_free.htm?utm_source=3533&utm_medium=mb
warnie hits the big time.
GAAHHHH, F*ck. Toerag. (Warnie, not you Chub)
yeah, it seared my retinas.
retinae,
whatever.
the sad thing is, some marketing genius precisely calculated the probability that an image of Warnie pegging a poker chip at them would induce a specific segment of bogans to disclose their credit card details and ip address to a front for the former mafia of the former Soviet Union and came up Odds On.
Warniee!!!
Legeeeend! I’m playing poker with Warnie!!! WOOOT
252: Channel 9. Top heavy with anglo presenters and right-wing propaganda it’s the free to air equivalent of Foxtel.
i wonder what channel 9 viewers would think if they ever accidentally switched over to sbs and saw world news australia. first they’d wonder why the hell they were meant ot care about the world, they’d ask where all the celebrity stories were, and why do most of the journalists have funny names and non-white skin?
I would like to just whole heartedly endorse the two preceeding comments by Messers Munt and ‘Bee.
I feel that in this instance, they have soundly encapsulated my own views and that it is thus un-necessary for me to comment further, beyond some sort of “Hear, Hear!” or other rousing endorsement.
I have undertaken this statement merely for the sake of brevity and suggest it should be in no way misconstrued as any sort of flippant disregard for engaging further on the topic at any depth, it is in fact my personal opinion that the Nine Network is the cutting edge of the breaking lip of the mighty wall of the meatphorical (obviously!) tsunami of cheap, plastic, disposable, slack jawed incredulous, stupidiosity otherwise known as The Con!!!one! smashing onto the cultural shore of humanity, as I hold both these commenteers in fine esteem.
comma
The tragic thing about it is, I’m old enough to remember when Channel 9’s news and current affairs were just as respected as the ABC. Jana Wendt, Ray Martin, Jeff McMullen, Richard Carleton, Jim Waley … And which Sydneysider aged over 25 could forget Brian Henderson? Sick transit gloryhole Monday.
Even with the risk of bad taste I’ll just put this one out there.
Things Bogans Will Like Soon.
Black Saturday Tattoos.
Why now? I don’t remember hearing about Black Saturday tattoos at the first and second anniversaries.
I think I may prefer them to most of the other common tattoos. I make a (non-impartial) judgement call on anyone with a Southern Cross or Eureka Flag tattoo. I simply decide that we aren’t going to get along. Post code tattoos suggest insularity to me. Tribal or Celtic armbands just say “I’m an individual, just like all the rest”, in my opinion. Same rule for anything with a continental outline of Australia as for Aussie Swazis. I take anyone with a spiderweb on their neck at face value, and assume they are in fact violent felons. Likewise swallows (slightly less violent felons).
I haven’t seen a Black Saturday tattoo yet, but I may not hate them. Hey, why not “My Family” tattoos ?
My Family tattoos, my god, evil genius. Can we copyright or something?
There’s already a similar trend. You get the latt and long coordinates of where your babies were born tattooed on you. I know of one bogan mong I used to know who’s done this. I think Ms Brad Pitt has done it as well. Except she’s half bogan half libtard.
The police have banned bogan tatts from the police. No full arm tatts and the like. Definitely a step in the right direction. They shouldn’t have let them in in the first place. Nothing screams I’m a f#ckwit more than these tatts. Except maybe Ed Hardy.
Just to explain.
Residents of Flowerdale (VIC) are getting tattoos (the same one) to commemerate the 2009 bushfires. I don’t know what happens if you don’t want one. Bogans being Bogans are sure to do their usual trick & copy it for all of the wrong reasons.
Thanks Panda, is it ok to mock bushfire victims for being sheep?
“What do you mean you don’t want a commemorative tattoo Lucy? It might be best for all if you f*ck off ya latte drinking pOOf”
Thanks Panda, is it ok to mock bushfire victims for being sheep?
“What do you mean you don’t want a commemorative tattoo Lucy? It might be best for all if you f*ck off ya latte drinking p00f.”
Further to this, it’s just branding really, commemorative has nothing to do with it. The bogan wants you to know what it went through and for you to ask so it can regale you with stories of it’s heroism and how it’s been doing it tough etc.
TSL #1 – Comb overs
I love to look at them, figure out the geometry and product use to hold it all in place. And then wonder why the wife does not let the husband into the secret that everyone is pointing and laughing. If you’re going bald you’re going bald, deal with it Pops.
I liek looking at back fat under clingy synthetic fabric.
for the same reasons simon does.
and
something just whispers “Westfield 8.67 + ” when I see back fat
More a thing that seniors with a twenty-five year old Asian bride likes.
Or Chinese important people. Around the Olympics time there was a Chinese delegate in Canberra for some sort of flag handover. Press conference on a windy airport tarmac. His plutonium grade comb over took on a life of its own. He even had an assistant trying to tend to it.
An important day in international comb over diplomacy.
Back when I was an innocent 1st year apprentice on the railway I was out with an engineer on the tracks when he bent over & 2/3 of his head flipped over to one side. Luckily for me he was looking down as the horrified look on my face turned to confusion, realisation & smirk. This was early 80’s so we had to call the engineers Mr & frivolity was frowned upon.
Did they take you to the “Spanky Place” if you were insubordinate Panda? or was that just an Army thing?
Ummm, no Moar, must be an Army thing (Thank you sir may I have another).The only place I got taken to on the railway was the pub. And the methadone clinic at Parramatta. I will trawl the memory & retell that one later.
OK so I’m in my 2nd or 3rd year of my apprenticeship, a shy semi country boy working all around big bad Sydney. The tradesman I work with is a heroin addict. So every day we go to the methadone clinic & pick up his “daily”. Then we go back to his flat in Speed St Liverpool (An education in itself) where he disappears into his bedroom for 30 minutes or so while I am sitting on his couch buzzing off a couple of cones he has given me. (We are still at work remember) Then we go onto the rail line & attempt to maintain vital signalling equipment. I also had the pleasure of helping him to dress the 100mm round hole in his arm where he had a skin cancer cut out. At other depots I was stationed at some would go to the pub every shift. At the Rosehill Hotel on Parramatta Rd the signalman would hang a flag out the window if anyone was looking for us otherwise it was back inside for another shout.
Ah those were the days.
i’m going to have to defend this, actually. i work in natural disaster research, and while tattoos is an unusual choice, commemorative events/symbols are often a very important part of coming to terms with such events.
on the other hand if someone with no connection to or experience with black saturday got one they’d just be an idiot coopting something they had no part of and frankly have no right to.
I can accept the commemoration of an event as important to some people to help with their grief/trauma etc. But I can’t see a tattoo as part of that. It’s not done on an anniversary, in a poignent location etc. I see it as a gratuitous look at me thing.
But then I am a cynical son of a bitch huh.
http://www.canberratimes.com.au/news/national/national/general/more-than-skin-deep-tattoos-mark-black-saturday/2446238.aspx
I want to say something about the co-opting of Tattoos here, but it wont come to me. Something has me hideously enraged about all these Bogans, Squares, Normals, Hipsters, Pinkboys, Nannas, Shoppers and Nerds getting effing TATTOOS
I hope you are all roundly maligned as unintelligent and lacking self respect and regarded with suspicion and fear FOR THE NEXT TWENTY ŦŨĆĶĮŇĢ YEARS 1111
do you know the story of “the hundredth monkey”?
at some point (possibly in the last three years) tattoos have reached a critical mass point in the 1080p window on the world and have achieved normality.
and for the purists…
and the congnoscenti
We need that series back on TV, and Monkey, where’s Monkey? Normalization, I liek the way your mind works Caek. How about the hipster chicks whith their lurid leg tatts, regret city dude. Or have I slipped of teh cutting edge and got stael
I’m going to see The Muppets tomorrow. I’m so old school.
I loved the first muppet movie.
but I didn’t tell anyone.
“a bear in his natural habitat – a Studebaker”
will it be the same without Jim Henson?
Love it thanks Mr Caek, poor Marvin….sob sob
don’t cry for Marvin, he’s just a machine. My bread oven kvetches like that too. you can’t give in to them.
someone needs to make a Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency movie.
So I can play Dirk Gently.
and I can watch myself.
Bogans do not like Dirk Gently.
or chaos theory.
which reminds me; did they end up finding a Higgs Boson? or did they still just see a spot where they thought it might have been for a nano second but disappeared when they looked at it.
I don’t understand the whole heisenberg problem, if observing something changes the nature of it, why wouldn’t you just get someone else to look at it and then tell you about it?
or set up tiny hidden cameras and then pretend you were looking the other way or playing Euchre with the guys from accounting. or get an infinite number of jam jars, with an infinite number of lids and put them all the way around your particle accellarator and snap all the lids on at once whilst looking the other way?
one of them is bound to have a higgs boson in it.
you just couldn’t look at it.
I think.
And this, my friends, is how bogan members of the Anatidae family make their Facebook profile pics:
http://9gag.com/gag/2425822
TBL #776441 – Broadcasting your children’s birth on youtube.
srsly. is nothing sacred?
dipshits.
NO IT DOESNT MEAN YOU ARE FAMOUS NOW
Cue bogan outrage.
http://www.smh.com.au/sport/motorsport/threeway-race-as-nissan-joins-v8-supercars-20120208-1rey0.html
How they will be able to differentiate between three identical cars is beyond me. Oh for the days when motor racing was simple.
GO THE DATSUNS!!!!
I just wish they could race the GTR again
& piss off the OSB’s.
They never recovered from a kiwi calling them a pack of arseholes.
1992, Jeebus that’s 20 years ago.
Getting old sign #158.
the golden age of racing for this particular commenteer.
that clip is sooo worth watching.
mick v wayne with kevin schwantz all over them (schwantz could have been WC if he could have kept his head up straight), an awesome track, look how outta shape those bikes are… the advent of on-board cameras, the spanish commentary (strangely, you can still understand it right?), ads for durries…
awesome.
I wept when Wayne won the first GP at the island.
just a bit. I pretended I was coughing…
this simple…
great clip. Johnson – lol.
not an ugly car on the grid.
genuine v8’s singing.
back when a cloud of balloons meant something.
back when the only silicon within cooee was leaking slowly into a grid girl’s armpit.
on board coverage from the toyota corona (?) from 4;47 is pretty cool.
watch Moffats XC walk off down conrod.
peter perfect.
brought to you by colour7
I should stay out of youtube
this is Mt Panorama redesigned for bicycle racing
from when road racing was held on roads.
Terrific stuff Moar. The onboard is from a Celica.
I think that may be the “axe” car. If it is the car
is still around & the axe marks are still in the
scuttle panel under the rear window.
Me & my mates used to play spotto while
watching Bathurst.
1st crew to use a axe on their car.
Which Lusty brother would smash the car to
pieces first, that sort of thing.
I’m guessing most of you cool kids have seen this before but i just discovered it while I was trolling over at The Punch. I’m still grinning.
Awesome!
I’m so cool I’ve never heard of Sound of Music, unless it is now ironic.
More to the point what were you trolling Mick?
hah.
I was in a flash mob once.
that was great! my favourite flash mob is the scottish high school one, i’ll see if i can find it.
damnit youtube!
And it’s time for the latest episode of …
THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!
http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/episode-53-ang-mo-antics/
And I am pleased to inform P’Bee that Bogue and Boguette did indeed make it past Customs at both origin and destination. And the suspense no longer has to kill Simon; he can find out where Bogue and Boguette travelled to now. :)
Noice Urban!
http://www.complex.com/tech/2012/02/the-50-funniest-facebook-photo-fails#51
well that’s a little awkward. but why wouldn’t you just delete the person’s comment and privately message them saying you’re not?
i’m sure many bogans are guilty of this one: http://www.complex.com/tech/2012/02/the-50-funniest-facebook-photo-fails#31
http://www.youparklikeacunt.com/
Gold.
Mick, you barstard, I can’t work out whether that is for real or not!
that’s brilliantly done.
Genius. I wish they’d gone further and done a piss take on what complete sluts fairfax is for property.
Do any of you dudes remember this one?
YES!!!
scatterbrain are awesome.
most notable for doing metal versions of classical music,
I was never a headbanger as such, but apparently “dude” has every major riff from every metal song evar!!!
ok not so famous…
Moar dued!
Definitely. In fact I don’t like being called dude myself. I find it patronising. It’s usually used like “dude, blah blah blah”. F#ck them.
via @thingboganslike
“Can’t think of a feasible way to fit this into our milieu, but goddam… 10 hours ago”
‘Every time we get ahead, they hit us again’
pissing and moaning about spending 1% of their income on Health Insurance.
“It’s ridiculous – the better we do, the more the government takes,” Ms Richards said yesterday. “Every time we try to get ahead and don’t rely on the welfare system, we get a guarantee they’ll hit us again.”
lol
srsly
lol
did you hear what you just said? No wonder you cant get your shit together on 250k. You’re an idiot.
fucʞ it they’re probably actors anyway.
This got a (bottom of the) front page banner in adelaide. Something like “Family Healthcare Cut”. Leadership tensions in the local (liberal) opposition were back on page 14 or something. Lead story was about local bikies relaxing their membership requirements to boost their numbers. Like the way The Adelaide Advertiser has relaxed it’s requirement for factual content in it’s journalism. Rupert Murdoch something something.
Oh, it was worse here in Brisbane, Caek. Today’s front page of the Spurious-Tale said something like “LABOR HEALTH KNIFE CUT”.
Oh, boohoo, rich people won’t be entitled to dollars which really ought to go to the most disadvantaged in our society … Oh boohoohoo … and oh dear, people who feel compelled up their health insurance as a result of this “cut” will have to wait in the same queue as … LOW-INCOME PEOPLE!!!! Oh gosh! Nooooo!!!!! “Oooh, oooh, oooh dair, how shall our young Annie coop if she ever contracts appendicitis and must spend five days in a ward with childran who goo to steet schoo-ul? Noo, this is just not cricket! We dee-mahnd ek-shon from our MP oover this dreadful matter!”
And I also had the pleasure this afternoon to listen to the Shadow Health Minister, Peter Dutton, on The World Today, try and defend the present arrangements by saying that high-income people are doing society a favour by insuring themselves, because it meant they weren’t being such a burden on Medicare and so they should continue to be subsidised. I very nearly drove my car off the Walter Taylor Bridge while trying to contain my laughter.
*who feel compelled to rip up
it is ridiculous that so many people think the reward for ‘working hard and not relying on government handouts’ should be government subsidies (which are clearly oh so different to handouts). the cognitive dissonance required to maintain such a position is something sure to boggle even the brightest psychologists.
Is it ironic that the Libs constantly call Labor f#cked with economics then Labor goes and f#cks Lib voters with the private health rebate cut with the reasoning being to get the budget into surplus? It’ll do me.
Love the bogan squealing over 0.06% rate rise from ANZ. I can feel it, this is the year the bogan finally gets its come uppance. Yay. F#cktards.
0.06%? Be still my beating heart.
Where’s the media outrage over rents which increases far in excess of the CPI, year after year?
Funny … about one-third of Australians own their homes outright, one-third have a mortgage, and one-third rent.
But all you ever hear about is mortages mortgages mortgages f#$kin’ mortgages!
Instead, all us renters get is that crap “reality” show from New Zealand, courtesy of the Closer Economic Relations treaty, called “Rinters”, in which cameras go deep into the kitchens of not-terribly-neat tenants in order to paint us all as a bunch of slovenly, irresponsible wastrels. (And I keep my flat very clean, thank you very much!)
I agree Martin. Time to make bogans pay. How about I get my Kodak camera with a video function and we go storm a few McMansion kitchens in Kellyville? :)
Yep, Mr Urban.
Mr Fart and I are renters by choice.
We made our choice and were sick of fuctard Landlords.
We are also clean, responsible tenants.
You should see our garden.
Our Landlady… Loves Us
Check this out:
http://www.blacklistyourlandlord.com/
Yep, it’s our turn to complain.
Before our current address (7 years)
We had Fuctard Landlords/Ladies/ big time.
Now, is our chance to complain back.
Both of us have been property owners before.
Now we have chosen to be renters.
2nd Marriage, 2nd chance.
Please put a cheque in our graves for 1 million $’s,
We’ll need it in our after lives………
Yep, it all makes me want a property crash even more. I don’t know man. At least the f#ckers in Kellyville just want a house for Jayden and Kayden, although their expectations are offensively way out of line with their skill levels in my experience. It’s the property investors I hate the most, or at least the smarmy ones who want to f#ck everyone over for capital gains. They’re everywhere, there’s 1.7 million of them apparently. I hope they go broke and are sent to a gulag. :)
You’re a bit lucky in Brisbane it’s already down about 10%, Sydney has been very stubborn, so I wish a terrorist would let off a nuke here or something.
Be patient my pretties, the time is coming. It won’t be quick, but it will happen. It will be death by a thousand paper cuts for those smarmy sods.
It’s the arrogance that gets me. That is what I want to see knocked out of them. I do sums for them. “Eh? Your investment place dropped in value by 5%? Plus inflation(bogans never factor in inflation)? 7% interest you say? Man, you must be losing money hand over fist!”
They just f#cking hate logic thrown at them. Meh. They’ve stopped boasting anyhow. They’re worried. I can see the fear in their eyes. And the loathing. They hate me. They used to ridicule me. Now they hate me. They hate me because I’m gonna come out of this mess okay and they’re all going to be in debtors’ prison.
Why don’t we do that anymore? Debtors’ prison. China has it and we’re all in debt because of China’s boom. Should be one of those feedback loop thingies.
Here’s an example for you Mick,
this house is just up the road
from me.
http://raywhiteunanderra.com.au/nsw/port-kembla/711622/
It has been on the market for at least a year.
As you can see it is 300m from what has been
voted many times the best beach in NSW.
But for starters, it is not finished. No balcony
over bedroom above garage. Fencing not finished.
But it’s biggest problem is the house itself.
Steep pitched roof & inside it’s all sandstone
feature walls & giant sandstone fireplace.
It’s a chalet. In Port Kembla. If the temperature
goes under 10 deg.C in winter it makes the news.
I might offer them $50.
Oh I forgot, when it went on the market
they were asking $780,000 now $699,000.
Ouch.
PS They are better off than the idiot who did a knockdown Mcmansion 1km from the beach &
they want a Million.
Yeah, good luck with that.
Ah, here it is.
http://www.realestate.com.au/property-house-nsw-port+kembla-108610536
The house faces south west. So that lovely balcony out the front is unusable in summer until the sun goes down. Unless you like sitting in the sun that is.
Wow! Just wow.
I love how this place fits in with the character of the homes around it. The locals must have been doing happy dances when they laid their eyes on this ‘architectually designed’ monstrosity.
It is what I like to call a “catalogue house”
Not a single original thought used.
In winter the house to the right gets no afternoon sun at all. In some countries you have to pay compensation if you do that.
The unfortunate thing for the sucker, I mean vendor is the house took 2 years to build so when they started a finished house would have gone for the price they are asking but 2 years is a long time in speculative commodities.
I find myself wondering whether architects (who have presumably studied Palliardi and may have toured the great Classical, Medieval and Renaissance monuments) cry themselves to sleep at night.
They must design the structures that people will buy. The ones the clients can pay for. All the good materials were used up by the end of the nineteenth century. They are left with bad materials, and are obliged to earn their livelihood throwing up things which are meant to last 40 to 60 years. Concrete tilt ups.
I am pretty certain that they dream about working on a Saint Pauls, a Tour d’Eifell, a Chrysler Building. Instead they draw parts of a shell in which all the duct-work will fit, or something which may as well be a display home, since it is essentially indistinguishable from any other domicile of a similar type.
why do so many of these mcmansions insist on such soulless and austere interiors? the white walls, white tiled floors and downlights give it all the ambience of a hospital ward.
It expresses the bogan’s machievellian/fuedalistic desires.
i thought it was more an external reflection of the bogan’s inner mind.
This one has been sitting there for about 18 months
http://www.domain.com.au/Property/For-Sale/House/NSW/Cromer/?adid=2009190827
It started at 2.5 million, now it’s 1.7, and it’s still sitting there. Like der, who wants an indoor pool in Australia? Fancy paying the aircon/heating bill for it? Cromer is not a yuppy suburb and they want Mosman prices for a pretty bogan suburb.
what is the obsession with so much glass? do people want to feel like they’re living in a corporate law office?
The bogan wants people to see how maxXxtreme they are every second of the day.
2.8 meter high windows & privacy? OK.
By the looks of the satellite photo it is in a riverbed.
Today it features in-house mud bath beauty spa.
more likely they want to feel like they’re living in a CSI set.
http://www.smh.com.au/world/us-troops-pose-with-nazi-ss-flag-20120211-1sy01.html
#TBL 24566834 – Being “Nazis” whilst fighting Zionist Jewish/Wasp wars. Ha ha, the bogan is so dumb.
A few years ago some fckn idiot spraypainted the drivers door of as it turned out my UNLOCKED car with a backwards yellow swastika.
I typed “backwards yellow swastika” into google & as our Buddhist friends will tell you it is the symbol for infinite prosperity.
Suffice to say I was a little confused.
perhaps they were zen vandzls. if you think about it long enough you could become enlightened.
Thanks, now I have a headache.
I was momentarily tempted to leave it on.
But as Martin’s story below reminds us,
don’t p!ss off the Bogans.
Especially the Jewish ones.
Bogan Jews:
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/rail-customer-service-if-youre-jewish-catch-a-taxi-20120211-1sycq.html
I don’t think he would have got his job back if he’d abused an Asian, Indian or a black person.
You can be sort of racist against Jews these days because libtards don’t like Israel.
Went and saw The Muppets. It was awesome as expected. They closed with Manumunup, possibly the greatest song ever written.
such a good film. chris cooper’s rap about how evil he is was my highlight.
The only slight disappointment was that not enough was made of Dave Grohl’s cameo as Animal. That could have been really funny, I suspect his bit ended up on the cutting room floor for times sake.
Gold.
TBL #612 – Dead Celebs.
Last thursday Whitney Houston was a lolcow but in death she is elevated to the voice of a generation.
Personally I could never decide who I hated more – Whitney Houston or Celine Dion (as artists of course, I’m sure they’re wonderful human beings when you get to know them), same shit – different bucket. I guess I hate Celine more now because she’s still wasting skin. All of these bellowing/lowing Divas make me sick. Big Hairy Deal if you’ve got a decent set of pipes – every year there’s half a dozen more on every single one of those “talent” shows – what have you got to say with your ‘amazing’ voice? Anything beyond a sappy love song for the slack jawed hordes? Didn’t think so. Anyone can write a love song.
I will always love you. What an original sentiment.
Rest in Peace Whitney Houston, at least you knew how to spend your money.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=simple+minds+-+love+song&oq=simple+minds+-+love+song&aq=f&aqi=g-C4&aql=&gs_sm=3&gs_upl=8263l18674l0l22919l24l23l0l4l4l0l919l4314l1.4-3.2.2l8l0
You doing a Valentines Day dedication hour?
I like the one where Bjork gets her boobs out.
Here’s my contribution, it’s bit weird to me that I love this song. Probably because they *had* to be in love given Yokos looks or lack of.
The fact that John and George is dead and that Paul is still going strong is proof that there’s no god.
Love songs huh, try this Caek. Sorry no boobs Martin.
“TBL #612 – Dead Celebs”
True. I was watching ABC News 24 yesterday morning and they were talking
about Syria, Greece, a bit of Whitney and some stuff on local politics. I then flicked it over to the Today Show on Channel Nine (AKA free to air Fox) just to compare the contrast in content and all they had was wall-to-wall Whitney.
The record companies must rub their hands together when a has-been decides to fall off the twig. Repackage a couple of old greatest hits albums, advertise it as a dedication and Bang!…another billion dollars in the bank.
I suspect this is the real reason for the tears and wailing. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the music industry has assassins on the payroll. Knock off an old favourite every three months or so to boost sales.
Hmmm…there does seem to be a lot of mystery deaths in the music game….
apparently sony upped the price of her best-of on itunes within hours of her death. classy decision, there.
pffftt.
Interesting. Perhaps all those rock stars dying at 27 was the signature of a serial killer on the music industry payroll. There could be another conspiracy theory doco in this.
The bogan didn’t get to forgive her. Even though the bogan is usually either a fat shit, is doped up on religion and TV, or is an alcho or all 3 and is a hideous wretch itself.
And it’s time for, the latest episode of …
THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!
And this week … we see how Ryan is coping with being single … and find that, even if Bogue & Boguette are rotting in Changi prison, he still can’t get away from them!
http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/episode-54-ubique/
love your work – particularly rudd’s speech
Not only over there….http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/man-claims-he-was-fined-200-for-emptying-water-bottle/story-fn7x8me2-1226280173672
And, so I stumbled upon this the other day …. it dates back from 2008, before Things Bogans Like even existed. It’s an ad paid for by the alcohol lobby for the Gippsland by-election in that year, back when there was that big kerfuffle over taxing alcopops.
The heady combination of a bogan, a ute, bad acting and the implied threat of political violence is truly astounding. Please do behold this eighth wonder of the advertising world.
That’s hilarious Urban, if The Chaser or someone was doing a pisstake it would look exactly like that.
Thanks for B&B.
He’s not a binge drinker? Yeah right.
I agree though alcopop prices are farked. Sometimes I just want a bourbon or bundy with me beer but at $7 I can rarely justify it. Carnts. Rudd was a carnt, I hate Rudd. They should deport him to China.
Saw a guy today covered in these new types of tatts, full arm, full leg, his girlfriend had fake boobs, I passed them and just had the standard thoughts, “you’re a douche” and all that. Then I see them again walking about 20 metres in front of me, so I pace up a bit to see if they might be American, they didn’t say anything so I couldn’t tell, but what I did see were the words “Fuck up” tattoed on the back of his neck!
I kind of respect that, I mean at least he admits it.
Saw a guy today covered in these new types of tatts, full arm, full leg, his girlfriend had fake boobs, I passed them and just had the standard thoughts, “you’re a douche” and all that. Then I see them again walking about 20 metres in front of me, so I pace up a bit to see if they might be American, they didn’t say anything so I couldn’t tell, but what I did see were the words “F#ck up” tattoed on the back of his neck!
I kind of respect that, I mean at least he admits it.
Hey TBL, can you make a new thread, this one is getting a bit onerous with the amount of comments it has now, you don’t have to say anything. Please. :)
Yeah, my iThingie keeps crashing every time I load up the thread because it’s too long, Martin.
Oh well, you and everyone else are more than welcome to contribute to threads at B&B. :)
Might have to aye. My firefox on my laptop is pretty sluggish on this page. You can be Urbo like Penbo from The Telegraph, I’ll be the Michael Bolt of bogan abusing.
So Rudd swears a lot and now bogans like him even more. This will set a new precedent. Like celebs releasing sex tapes polis will release swear tapes.
And with only twenty-five minutes left in Friday, I managed to get the latest episode of …
THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!
… published just in time!
And this week – Bogue and Boguette are released – and get home from Sydney Airport in something a little more comfortable than an Airport Link train!
http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/episode-55-fifteen-minutes/
Wow. This is the first time that I’ve posted two consecutive episodes with no intervening comments in between.
Anyway, in this week’s episode of …
THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!
Bogue and Boguette take advantage of their new celebrity status – and ride the express elevator back to prosperity!
http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/episode-56-full-circle/