In your more private moments, you probably enjoy looking at some porn. The animalistic, overplayed instant gratification world of adult entertainment can be a (re)productive escape. The bogan is not like you. It wants to experience this world at all times. The internet has made porn footage easily accessible, but the bogan females wanted something more “tasteful” to communicate their raunchy life-vision at the shopping centre and the pub. As a result, they turned to the sexual fantasies of an 83 year old American man. Try to not vomit in your mouths as we explain how this is a manifestation of… feminism. Of all things.
There have long been two opposing camps in the feminist movement, one arguing that pornography was degrading, and one arguing that it advanced a woman’s freedom of expression and sexuality. Without being aware of this, the bogan female has decisively sided with the movement that best allows it to be crass. Some commentators have attempted to apply the lofty metaphor of women “repossessing the oppressive world of porn and making it their own”, but this gives too much credit to the thought process of the female bogan.
We already know that the bogan has a clumsy, manic sense of sexuality. It craves the ‘x-treme’, indulging it through faux-lesbianism, the use of expensive and brightly coloured props, the viewing of hardcore porn, or other gimmicks. The same primal appeal lies in the expansive, glittering faux-tough branding of “couture” clothing such as Ed Hardy. It has taken a rickety octogenarian to merge these two bogan loves, feeding smut and glitter into his finely tuned bogan and redneck merchandising machine, and miraculously churning out a feminist statement at the other end. The Playboy brand has transformed itself in the mind of the female bogan from ‘crude’ to ‘cheeky’, a delineation that the bogan has little grasp of.
Today, every second bogan female can be seen tottering around as walking billboards for Hefner’s concept of sexy. Playboy has created a wide range of mid-priced, prominently branded products for all facets of the female bogan’s life, and they have been purchased in abundance. A cover for her iPhone? Sure. A whale tail frame for her tramp stamp? Yep. In HER more private moments, she closes her eyes and imagines seductively feeding a cluster of Viagra tablets to Hugh Hefner in the playboy mansion, like a Roman peasant with a bunch of grapes for her emperor. A truly liberated feminist.