#243 – Perspective-Based Photography at Famous Landmarks

25 08 2011

“Wait…move your left hand over a bit…that’s it…nah, wait, you missed it. Fuck. Try again.”

Travel to any part of the world with any landmark that has appeared in a James Bond movie or a Contiki catalogue, and you will undoubtedly hear words to this effect. With a strong Australian dollar, cheap flights, and internet accommodation bookings, the newly internationalised bogan has embraced overseas trips/tours/drinking with a previously unseen fervour. They then decide, in their uncommonly belated manner, that it would be totally bitchin’ if they posed alongside a famous landmark, employing their unparalleled grasp of telephoto perspective to create the impression they’re, you know, holding it up! While the bogan has precious little perspective on life, empathy, culture, and modesty, it has an unlimited desire for perspective in its photography.

How artistic and clever it makes the bogan feel to have come up with such a devastatingly effective photo. The several hundred other travelling bogans undertaking the same process within a 50 metre radius are clearly ripping off what is an original idea. It is inconceivable that anyone other than that one particular bogan could have realised how extreme it would be if a photo made the Eiffel Tower look really small, with the tip being squeezed by the oily pincers of the bogan.

After the magic of the digital camera allows the bogan to make the requisite 300 attempts to place the photo’s two subjects in harmonious alignment, it can be taken home, enlarged 100 times and placed on the wall of the formal living room. The roaring success of the photo is enough to induce the bogan to tell its friends that it’s thinking of becoming a pro photographer. Indeed, the possibility to take more perspective-based photos (along with V Australia now flying to North America) may lure the bogan to journey to NYC to create a sidesplittingly unprecedented scene where the Statue of Liberty gets sodomised from behind. An alternative, and equally appealing option is to kiss the Sphinx, and then make a joke about getting older pussy. Or, or, what about one where it looks like the ruins of the Acropolis are getting stomped on?!?!

The bogan will never, ever, ever tire of this.


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217 responses

25 08 2011
Shirley M.

Facebook page: Pretending things are a cock. ‘Nuff said.

31 08 2011
Bhen

I’ve just worked out what this blog is a “re-imagining” of (ie direct rip-off of).

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3270624-the-comedy-company-holiday-book

I got this as a present in 1988 and it had an article on bogans, and what they are into. Maybe we aren’t as clever as we think we are???

31 08 2011
martin

I’ve got that book lying around somewhere. This blog is very clever indeed! Boganism was nowhere near as vulgar and wide spread as it was back in 1988.

25 08 2011
Shirley M.

See?

26 08 2011
moar caek

facebook
lol

25 08 2011
Pandabater

I don’t know how they can hold the camera still with all the hilarity.
This was stupid when my dad did it at the Adaminaby Big Trout,
in 1977. But good to see the hate return TBL.

25 08 2011
Pandabater

Oh, I just remembered, I have
done this, I got my mate to
“shit” Pyramid Rock on
Phillip Island.

*crawls back under rock*

25 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

When I got back from Europe last year my mates were all surprised at the lack of this. Only perspective photos I had were with the ladies of Europe that I encountered along the way :)

25 08 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
Cummon Ash post one for us to share.
We are all longing to see your perspective on the ladies of Europe. !
Did you manage to get a picture of you with “A Real Lady ” from” Little Britten” while you were in the neighbour hood.? If you did that will be a scene stealer or crowd please depending on your perspective .

25 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

JH, I don’t post photos on the Internet. Only attention whores and bogans (Assuming they’re not one and the same) do that. My facebook photos are all ones taken by other people and tagged in.

None of the girls were yr type anyway. I know you have a fondness for the Rubenesque ladies – while I respect yr preferences and right to choose that particular variety of women it’s not my thing.

25 08 2011
James Hunter

Makes me wonder what hilarity Kiwis photograph of the Big Marino may look light ? Or what could be done with the Coffs Big Bananna. Hmm I think one of the coastal towns has a Big Crab, Shudder and we all know where the Big Prawn can go.
I am being overwhealmed with horror movie like immages. Must race and take my meds.
In the mean time “Death To Thornton” can act as my proxy.

25 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, there isn’t enough depth of field on the entire planet to disguise, distort or in any other way possible bring even an illusory appearance of ‘really small’ to your massively overstuffed gut. Oh, James Hunter, sucks to be you, eh…

25 08 2011
James Hunter

Dweeb,
I can use my Very shallow depth of field , Nokton 25mm f0.95 , lens to keep me as visually sharp as a pin and you all blured( make that bleary).
And thus the image shall be as the reality. Well for those without disruptive psychoses.

25 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, presumably, somewhere in that assortment or randomly placed letters, you seek words. By the look of the words you’re trying to write, I’ll assume you’re seeking approval. Sorry, pops, flattery will get you nowhere.

25 08 2011
James Hunter

Dweeb,
Looks like we have finally found (Photography) something that youa re not an expert at.Strange that. A self confessed genius like you should be up to speed on basic photography terms.l
Dill.

25 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, I’ve no problems with the ‘terms’ – as they were expressed… A point I made, but not the main point, obviously, was that I actually deciphered your jumbled post. Only a genius could. Try and understand. It’s not hard. There’s those three words again, pops.

25 08 2011
James Hunter

Oh, Herpes,
There are three words there that you undoubtedly hear often
“Its not hard”
Sorry Herpes, get used to it.

25 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, imitation is one thing, misquoting is something entirely different. Did you get the number of the truck, pops?

25 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, your stories are the key narratives of the moment. It’s a Brave New World.

25 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

Oh, Peter Thornton, your stories are painfull & boring. Time for bed, school tomorrow.

25 08 2011
James Hunter

Waterskisky,
PT(no noy physical education),going to school Bhahahahah Makes me think of all those old school boy jokes( no not because he is one). I can just immagine him in history class:
Miss, Miss, I know I know (The answere to your question ,understood)
The Magna Carta provided that no man may be hanged twice for the same offence !

Or: Oh yes Miss, Joan of Arc, she was Noah’s Wife.
I am sure you can come up with many more vivid immages.

25 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

Oh, Peter Thornton, if it “sucks to be you (James Hunter),”
it must really suck to be Peter Thornton.

25 08 2011
James Hunter

Waterskisky,
The real question is
What is it that Peter Thornton is sucking.
excuse me while I go have a little heave.

25 08 2011
martin

The bogan could never have done anything like create fine architecture let alone design a McMansion, so like the good little bogan it does what it does best. Debases it and puts it down in order to build themselves up.

25 08 2011
Dgusten

Ha, I have to admit to being the subject or photographer of one of these on more than one occasion, especially in my younger days…

Guess I just have to embrace my inner bogan there… or maybe I’m doing it ironically, and I’m just white:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/03/50-irony/

Whatever.

I mean, it may not be original, but if you’re at the Eiffel Tower or Statue of Liberty or the Sphinx it’s not as if your travel plans are the height of originality.

Taking yourself way too seriously while travelling a is a far bigger crime in my book (the old, I’m not a “tourist”, I’m a ” traveller”hispeter wanker particularly gets up my goat.

I like fart jokes, and sometimes I like other types of infantile fun. Sue me.

25 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Everyone likes fart jokes. Even hipsters like them ironically. Only they prefer more obscure farts with less of a mainstream sound.

25 08 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
I am not sure that anyone likes “Mainstream” farts ! ?? With or without sound.

25 08 2011
Ahlyeezshkah

Agreed: “Taking yourself way too seriously while travelling a is a far bigger crime in my book (the old, I’m not a “tourist”, I’m a ” traveller”hispeter wanker particularly gets up my goat.”

You nailed it.

25 08 2011
martin

You don’t have to take yourself too seriously to not shoot lame photographs that aren’t funny. It’s like asking someone to laugh at a knock knock joke.

Bogans like to go travelling so they can say they’ve been somewhere. Even if it was only for a few days that they mostly spent in the hotel watching in house movies and visiting the same shops that they’d go to back home. Those hipster traveller wankers like to go travelling to try and cover up the reality that they’re a wanker and a big douche.

25 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I travel to see shit I can’t see at home, eat some mad food and hook up with hot foreign chicks. What does that make me?

26 08 2011
Bag O'Turnips

A bloody tourist…albeit one having a bloody good time ;)

I’m off on my annual SE Australia tour, including Tassie where I’ve found myself a relatively unique car…sure it’s a retina-scorching hue of yellow, with matching yellow-and-black interior which may seem perennial bogue faves, but it sure as heck ain’t a Falcodore-based car. Nor is it a WRX or Evo, though it has more in common with the latter pair.

That’s shortened the field somewhat…any guesses? Those who know me well enough will probably get it…despite the bogan colour scheme, this is one that seriously scares bogans away, not enough body kit 8)

26 08 2011
James Hunter

BOT,
Not an early E10 Corolla with a souped up K4 motor and 13 ” Mazda wheels ? Boy th3ey could fly and they were cheap fun.

26 08 2011
Bag O'Turnips

ROTFLMAO :D

Nice try, but wrong continent. Think impeccably dressed gentleman but mixing it with the almost criminal ability to wear vivid colours and still be entirely unbogan; kind of a car version of dapper dandy like I am.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Triumpf Stag ?

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Mk2 Jag

28 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, everyone knows you drive a Magna station wagon…

26 08 2011
moar caek

it’s either a MK II jag or a Ford transit then.

you are totally a MK II type of cat.
I am soooo jellus if that’s what yr getting

or a citroen DX

28 08 2011
Dr Greenthumb

IS200 Yellow? (I have an IS200 :D )
Wrong continent… Hmm.
e36/e46 M3?
First gen. S4? Twin turbo, AWD, Yellow.
S3? Turbo AWD.
Alfas would be too far off the mark for evo/wrx.

I must know.

28 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I’m guessing either a S3 or S4.

26 08 2011
moar caek

Triumph?
no…
unique?
an old RX3
Bellette?
Kombi!
Not an Austin Healey?
like a rex or evo eh…
rally
ooh, Celica GT4?
Quattro!
escort RS2000?
is it a coupe?
Land Rover!
no, wait…
Fiat X-19.
I bet.
Nice Car

26 08 2011
James Hunter

MC
Bellette They were nice. Remember the Prince Skyline ?

26 08 2011
moar caek

nnnnnn
ope.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Like a Bellette with a Straight 6

29 08 2011
maxheadwayWhistling Nixie

Morris 1100?

29 08 2011
AshR- Chevy 9-5 Aero

SAAB 9-3 Viggen? (with enough torque steer that you could drive from Strahan to Port Arthur without touching the wheel). Or perhaps a Volvo 850 T5R?

29 08 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
9-3 SAAB ? A Vauxhaull Vectra with less class ? Go to overtake and floor it it would change lanes with out touching the stearing wheel.Only car I have ever driven with more torque stear would be early Hyundai Sonata !
The three examples I have had the pleasure of being in all shared more rattles and squeeks then a tambourine band. Also shared an inexhaustable supply of things that didnt work; window winders,door latches wipers washers,glove box lids.
All the famous torque? Not much more then half of what my Citroen Diesel grunts out and the Citroen has narry a touch of torque stear, but then they been making front drives a long time.

29 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, yet another subj. you’re an expert on. Sorry, pops, but buying shabby secondhand vehicles from Gumtree dot com (while browsing the personal ads, no less) only serves to make you an authority on what not to do. Don’t you ever get sick of being an idiot? it’s pretty much a fact of life that if something’s cheap it usually sucks dog’s balls, by which I mean every single one of your horrible possessions are of practically no value at all. Fittingly.

29 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

Oh, Peter Thornton, 12.59, lunch is over, time for geography, run along sweety, you don’t want to get in trouble with teacher.

31 08 2011
Pandabater

A yellow Italian rally car.
C’mon Turnips what the hell is it?

31 08 2011
Mick

Some sort of Audi. Just a guess.

31 08 2011
urbanreverie

I’m guessing a SEAT.

31 08 2011
James Hunter

Well, An Audi Quattro, especially one of the early ones; now that had real man appeal but a Seat ? Ok it is still a VW family but a Seat ? OMG anything but that. It is like an early Skoda was to a Renault. Shudder.

31 08 2011
Pandabater

OK, the clues are;
Relatively unique bright yellow with yellow & black interior.
Not a wrx/evo but related.
Not japanese.
Impeccably dressed gentleman who can wear vivid colors & be unbogan.
A car version of a dapper dandy.

So something yellow, rally or turbo, european, possibly gaudy.
Has to be french. That’s all I’ve got.

31 08 2011
James Hunter

Panda,
There are a goodly number of yellow Peugeot 306 two door soft tops running round hereabouts. Look pretty neat with the top down..
Need heavy black plastic framed glasses and a wollen beret to complete the picture. ?

31 08 2011
Pandabater

You might be onto something there James, just don’t let Simon see you in that getup.
*glass*

31 08 2011
James Hunter

Bugger, now I’m in real trouble.

2 09 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

String or nothing ? A Holden Torana, a Ford Cortina or a Leyland Mini ?

6 09 2011
daffodilsareyellow

A Bogan.

25 08 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Baha!

Nothing gave me a bigger gut-laugh in my formative years than the loose sphincter of Tony Martin’s Bargearse. Still does.

They might just dig the ol’ SBDs, dem hipsters…

“What, you haven’t heard it? That doesn’t surprise me at all. You and your unrefined ear canal. Go back to your obvious, gaudy (sorry urban) flatulence and your Katy Perry CDs, you chickenshit conformist. I’ll be here listening to Yo La Tengo, The Polyphonic Spree and to Katy Perry ironically. Workers of the world unite.”

As far as holding up global landmarks is concerned, does the Swanston Street 7-Eleven count? Did that last night… No photo… Maybe some CCTV footage though.

25 08 2011
James Hunter

2s2s,
Was just checking that CCTV footage(meterage),and it just looks like you leaning agains the wall like for a police patdown or maybe you were throwing up and wetre trying to miss your thongs.
Is that the one ?
Realy love the pale complection. You look like a Shirlewy Maclean in “My Geisha”. well done.

26 08 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Oh, James Hunter…

Seriously though, makin’ fun of my ivory complexion is Racism mit a capital Arrrr… an’ makin’ light of Shirley MacLaine’s work is Alcoholism-ism mit a capital “Bllaaoouuurrrrrgghhhhaahhh!!”

An’ I’ll have you know those thongs’re Simpsons-themed, mit Moe, Homer and Barney cheersing on ‘em, ‘n I’ll be damned if I’m gonna see any harm come to ‘em.

An’ to all the whining whiners whining about TBL’s output o’ late, I gotz sumpin for yez…

Comic Book Guy: “Last night’s Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured I was on the Internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world.”

Bart: “Hey, I know it wasn’t great, but what right do you have to complain?”

Comic Book Guy: “As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.”

Bart: “For what? They’re giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.”

Comic Book Guy: “Worst episode ever.”

An’ if anyone thinks quoting The Simpsons is bogan, then… um… farken… eat my shorts, carnt.

I mean, c’mon, if you don’t see just a teensy bit of yerself in at least one of these 243 posts then you must have a mighty long rod up yer backside…

Wantin’ sumpin fer nuttin?! Izzat it?! Farken welfare state! You ain’t entitled, you spoilt-rotten scumbags! Unless yer 45-year-old virgins who still live with their parents… in which case, gimme a copy of the 1987 Batman Annual written by Alan Moore, you otherwise useless carnt.

Excuse the essay… again…

Bin drinkin.

Bed now.

Go Pies.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

2s2s,
sright
i bin on the oxycodone summat serious today , first time for about 2 years an just not withit mebacks ol d facet joints are farrrrked and yeh go pies or manly .gotta remembe i’m back in nsw now.
oh hope you dont mind but i love your work

25 08 2011
airush1@hotmail.com

this post has been done before what the fucK
TBL IS GETTING OLD

25 08 2011
Will

Agreed. Used to be funny and a bit clever. Now it’s just clawing at things to give people shit about. I’m waiting for the post “Only bogans post responses to blog posts”

25 08 2011
martin

How about ‘only bogans whinge about tbl after it’s done nearly 250 posts most of which are very good value’. I doubt they’d be making much money out of it and mostly do it for fun and to be nice to those of us who like to post here.

26 08 2011
moar caek

I’ve always liked you martin.

31 08 2011
martin

Aw thanks Chubby, if I still smoked I’d shout you some weed and some nice beers.

31 08 2011
James Hunter

Martin, You don’t have to smoke it you know, just cew it up and swallow it with some good cask red works just fine. If your no used to it that way it takes about a half hour to kick in and lasts (for me) for about 2 to 3 hours. So you need a reasonable dose but at least your not throwing any away.
Some of the hippys used to make tea with it and my first wife used to soak it in “Pure Polish Spirit” i.e. 140 proof vodka for about a week then drink the liquid.
Now that was, “rocket fuel”. wooooow.

31 08 2011
James Hunter

Martin,
If you want to try that put the vodka and the makings in a glass or Stainless Plunger style coffe maker. Leave for a few days then the plunger makes for easy p0ressing of the waste. No waste.

31 08 2011
martin

Nah. Over weed. Makes me paranoid. I’ll stick to my beer. I wouldn’t mind dropping that as well and becoming one of those healthy bogans like Simon, I wish he was here just so he could say “f#ck you” to me.

If I’m single when I’m 75 I’ll take it up again. Kill myself on LSD, weed, speed, eccies – minus the ketamine, I hate that shit, never had coke so I’ll give that a go.

31 08 2011
Mick

You feel better being a slob. i spent years training hard and always felt fit. It was only after I retired for a while and then started training again that I realised that fit feeling was just my body aching.

Keep the beer up.

25 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

This is also popular with the political photographer.
Placing pollies in front of signs etc.Howard in front of
sign reading “country” with his head blocking the “o”
and the “ry” out of frame is the one I remember.

25 08 2011
shakPower

has anyone seen ‘An idiot abroad’?
surely the funniest show ever made, is Karl an english bogan? if there is such a thing

25 08 2011
martin

Yeah I thought that show was good, an anti travelling show, he goes to exotic places and shows that they suck and are shit holes. I don’t think he’s a bogan. Maybe a little bit like most people.

25 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

But is Karl in on the joke?
I think he would have to be.
Which makes the show a crock.

25 08 2011
shakPower

either he’s amazingly stupid or he greatest actor on planet earth and deserves and oscar.

25 08 2011
martin

Of course he’s in on it, it’s a comedy show, he’s good at whinging, which makes it amusing to those partial to a good whinge instead of some vapid bogan life is beautiful shit you get on every single other travel show.

25 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

So the joke’s on us.
Damn.

25 08 2011
urbanreverie

And because I have a jam-packed day tomorrow, I’ve decided to bring forward to Thursday night this week’s episode of …

THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!

And this week – Bogue and Boguette get a hard lesson in how their own warped, antediluvian values conflict with those of today’s state education system!

http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/episode-32-public-enemies/

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Ah, the good old principal’s office. How much time both my parents spent in my primary school principal’s one and then in the fancy private high school they tried to send me to before I got kicked out.

Once I went back to public high school there wasn’t ever much to report though. Mostly cause there were so many ratbag Shire scum there that the school were perfectly happy to turn a blind eye to the kids smoking weed outside the school long as we weren’t on school property and kept the ol’ grades good.

26 08 2011
urbanreverie

ZOMG! Ye saints in heaven! Ash criticised Shire people!

Let me guess, Woolooware High? Or Caringbah High? Both of them had a reputation, even in Liverpool where I grew up – one of them for a reputation of a bit of rugby league biffo in inter-zone championships, the other for being the breeding ground of ALP New South Wales Right factional thugs (I forget which was which).

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Urban,
Shire School is a very Pommy term where schools are under shire controll
Aussie schools as you know are either private or state.
So Ash may be Indian (or at least sub continent ) but he must be via or from UK
By that figuring. Suppose Ash will shoot me down now and say he was born in Port Melbourne !

26 08 2011
urbanreverie

G’day James,

In Sydney, “The Shire” (noun) or just “Shire” (adjective) refers to “Sutherland Shire”, a local government area, broadly upper-middle class, bordered by Botany Bay and the Georges River to the north, the Royal National Park to the south, and the Holsworthy military area to the west.

Why it is called just “The Shire”, when there are other shires in the Sydney metropolitan area (e.g. Hornsby Shire, The Hills Shire), I do not know.

People from The Shire tend to be extremely proud of their provenance. Which is why Ash always glasses anybody on TBL who dares criticise any aspect of The Shire! And why it surprises me to see him refer to his erstwhile co-pupils as “ratbag Shire scum”.

Anyway, Ash never used the term “Shire school”, but if he did, it would merely mean “a school located within Sutherland Shire, regardless of whether it was state, Catholic, systemic or independent”.

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I am allowed to abuse certain Shire folk. Doesn’t give outsiders the right to do so :) And since half my dad’s family live in Liverpool I’ve spent plenty of time there over the years. Y’all got yr own bogan problems to sort out first.

Urban, I’m guessing that Caringbah High is the ALP Right Mafia alma mater, because it’s a legit selective school. Had I done well enough on the selective schools test I would have gone there. Woolooware High was closest to us (just down the road from my parents’ place) but I went to Cronulla High instead.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Urban,
Used to be that in the rural areas a Shire Council was a large area Council thyat ran roads and bridges and similar while it contained and had representatives from a number of toun and/or city councils. Bigger special purpose County Councils ran Elecitricity and Abattoirs for eg. Prospect County Council was Electricity as was New England C.C. N.E.A.C.C. was the Abattoir at Guyra. So maybe that is where it comes from.
Anyone out there in real estate could probably trhrow light on the subject ?

26 08 2011
urbanreverie

Hi James,

The history of local government is a specialty of mine. :P

Shires in New South Wales were created in 1906, out of all the rural land in the eastern two-thirds of the state which weren’t already municipalities or cities. They were intended to be in charge of rural roads and bridges and paid for by local rates – the state government was sick of having to fund all these things itself and wanted to divest itself of having to spend money on every single little country lane.

The “county councils” you refer to were federations of local councils (shires, cities and municipalities), formed for a specific purpose – there were the electricity counties you mentioned, but also water supply counties and noxious weed control counties. I wasn’t aware of the New England Abbatoir County Council though! There were no elections to the “county councils”, rather, each member local council sent delegates to the county councils to represent its interests.

These “county councils” have nothing to do with the “counties” though, which appear on all land titles in New South Wales (e.g. County of Cumberland, County of Camden, etc.) These exist solely for the purposes of land title registration, and these counties have never had any government (except for the County of Cumberland, which was a “county council” from about 1947 through to about 1965 for the purposes of implementing the Cumberland County Plan, Sydney’s first metropolitan-wide town planning scheme).

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

The UK, JH? The farkin’ UK?

Bloody hell. I’m Fijian-Indian, not some farkin’ Pommy carnt!

(And no, not Port Melbourne. Born in Fairfield Hospital).

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Fijian Indian?
You are probably like the Malasian Indians from a family used to doing most of the actual work for your chosen country.
You have probably heard me say in Malaysia you have the Chinease who own everything,the Indians who do everything and the Malayse who have the Malay malayse !
Mrs Hanibal was born at Roslyn Private hospital at Arncliff went to St Georges High ( I always did like realy selected girls !! ) and I was born at Auburn hospital ( My dad had a chook farm at Blacktown which was no more then a village in those days)
We both l met while both living in Sydney in 1977 and lived at Villawood till 1982. then Adelaide till 2003.
Any other information just ask Peter Thornton. He is bound to have a file on me.!! (He should be bound !)

The above is just to show that tyhis Shire thing must be generational because neither of us have ever herd it used in that way ?? Not disputing you at all. Just an interesting thing. Its like the pronunction differences between states and even different areas withing NSW. And different local expressions.and items from “zone” to “zone” ie “Stobie Pole”
the type of Pole used in SA sor utilities.
Pie Floater a different presentation of the Pie and Peas than what we are used to.
The honey and Almond flake topped cake “Bee Sting” from SA latterly appearing hear.
I find this interesting. Maybe no one else realy gives a shit so Iv already said too much.

26 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, nice of you to handball us your breakdown and in-depth analysis of the regions of Sydders. It certainly is a comprehensive and clear-eyed template for spontaneous and effervescent energy. With its hints of political issues, random quotations from historical figures declaiming ideas about cultural imperialism and its convulsive, seductive imagery in the framework of a classic biblical scripture, yours is the archetypal style that can never be really duplicated. While you may wish me death, you, old boy, will suffer something worse than death. You will become a legend! As you are doubtlessly aware, there’s only one place in this vast metropolis where you can, indeed, should live. Mosman, Neutral Bay or Cremorne.
Aw shucks, Jim, such an assault of ideas tends to bring my self-conscienceness to the foreground; that’s actually three places.

26 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

Oh, Peter Thornton. 5.13am and on that computer again, you’ll fall asleep in double maths today. Shame on you.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Waterskinsky,
More likely it will be the Double Malt that will be his decider.!

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Dweeb,
It is your Un-conscienceness that comes to the foreground. or is it unconscious and fairfgound that you were trying to say ?

26 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, you really don’t get it, do you? There were CSIRO reports back in the 40s detailing toxic residuals found in Kikuya grass. My knowledge of Sydders, unsurpassed like my knowledge of most things, recalls Villawood as a place where Kikuya was particularly prevalent, which I believe it still is in certain streets. Anyway, the emerging/advances in Neurotoxicology means you still might live a long and relatively healthy life. Not sure if that pleases you, though. I hope, at least, you got the number of the truck.

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Honestly, the whole “Shire pride” thing only really took off after the Cronulla riots and the rest of Sydney tried to tag us all as a bunch of redneck bogans. So it kind of became us against them.

When we moved there in the late 90s it was just another middle class area. Sure it was pretty much the last such area of Sydney which you could call predominantly Anglo-Celtic, but my primary school also had kids of various Southern and Eastern European stock, and when I got to high school we had a few Chinese and Korean kids also. The richer areas closer to the beach are becoming more multicultural, albeit generally we’re talking second/third generation immigrants who have been born and raised here and want to spread their wings out of the ethnic ghettoes they grew up in. (This was a major reason we left Fairfield when I was a kid).

I’ve probably said it before and I’ll say it again – while both sides were culpable during the riots, they could have happened at any beach in the city. However, Cronulla has long been the beach of choice for kids from the western suburbs for simple reasons of accessibility – it’s the only one in the Sydney metro area that can be easily accessed by train. And (call me racist if you must) a lot of the blow ins, particularly many of the Lebbo kids (Although certainly not all of them, a significant minority) would come and cause trouble with the locals. When I was 12 we nearly got into a fight with a bunch of them cause they wanted to dump their shit where we were hanging out (for the same reason – hot girls to perv on nearby). The riots were pretty much inevitable.

And JH, just for the record – I’m actually ethnically mixed (Indian father, Fijian mother) but Mama Ash was adopted by Indians and raised Hindu. Only Fijian I really got in me is athletic ability.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
Yep the Lebanese thing was apparent even back in 82 when we left there were already a lot of them round Bankstown, Like Lots.
Interesting thing I have always found Indians even in India to almost be more English then the English !
I think that is why they often as Expats end up in the Anglo Celtic areas. Because they feel more at ease or at home if you will ??
Must say too that every where I have been in India Australians were always made most welcome.

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts According To Market Fluctuations.

Actually, JH, I would say it comes down to the fact that Indians really don’t like each other that much.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
Mostly I find the expats here in Australia generally easy to get along with, certainly easier then the Pakistanis that I come across.
Still I guess it is like ones impressions of any ethnic ,national,religious “group” we all tend to group/categorise them based on the very small samples that we come across.
I guess the other side of the argument is that first impressions are often the truest.
A lot of expats here from a variety of countries are often appearing as arrogant when realy they are appologists for their country.This they need not be their countries are not their countries people.

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts According To Market Fluctuations.

We like and get along with others fine.

I’ve discussed the role of religion before and I really don’t want to go back to that well. But the fact is that the Hindu (or possibly Christian) Indians you meet will have more in common with white Aussies than with Muslim Pakistanis.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
How much do you think this is a hang over from the caste system ?

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts According To Market Fluctuations.

I would hazard to guess a fair bit. As much as discrimination by caste is officially a thing of the past, everyone knows that’s a load of bullshit.

Here’s my theory: the first Indian migrants post-White Australia Policy (therefore excluding those from the Punjab who came first during the gold rush and then were brought as farm labourers in the early 1900s) were mostly high caste Brahmins who came in the late 70s and early 80s. They were victims of the Indian government’s affirmative action policies for lower castes regarding jobs and university slots – but were nonetheless almost all well educated and worked in professional fields, particularly medicine and engineering. You’re from the Hunter – I’m sure you know what I mean when I say that half the doctors in country Australia are Indian these days. My parents worked several years in Broken Hill before they moved to Sydney – my big sister was born there and Dad goes back for a few weeks every year. Because these migrants were educated, all spoke English and were Hindu (which, despite it’s flaws which I know of having been raised one, is one of the least dogmatic and most accepting religions there is) they had no problems integrating into Australian society. (I can’t emphasise the language thing enough either).

Now, however, you have a far greater spectrum of Indians migrating here – as well as professionals, you also have a lot of entrepreneurs (mostly Fijian-Indians) and poorer, lower skilled migrants. Many of them have come through the well-worn trail of arriving as students, doing dodgy courses that won’t help them get jobs then claiming PR once they finish. Having worked as a dish pig and a cook for nearly a year I was stunned to realise that in almost every restaurant I worked in (a local takeaway, a cafe in Balmain and an Italian joint in Randwick) none of them had less than 50% kitchen staff, including cooks. Indian cabbies tend to fit this category also. These guys do tend to have a poorer command of English, not understand Australian society and customs very well and often tend to encompass some of the worse elements of Indian society which are too numerous to list here – let’s just say that every time I hear an ACA/TT beatup on Indians scamming the system or cab drivers being dirty with female passengers I shake my head and know it’s probably true.

I don’t know if this answers your actual question, but it may. And it does explain a fair few things.

26 08 2011
martin

Some Indians are really nice like they’re the spawn of Ghandi, probably most of them in my experience although I haven’t met a lot. Some are real c#nts and bring along some sort of caste system attitude with them. They can f#ck off back home.

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts According To Market Fluctuations.

Amen to that. F*ck them c*nts. If a bogan called them a f*cking curry and bashed those ones I’d probably be cheering the bogan on. Then when they came after me I’d stab the c*nts.

26 08 2011
urbanreverie

Hi Ash,

I agree about cabbies! I never knew it was possible for me to dislike cabbies more than I already did, but working at a servo proved me wrong.

Most of them are surly, demanding, arrogant little snots. They treat us like we’re the Commonwealth Bank and expect us to give them whatever change, in whatever amounts, at the drop of the hat. Never mind that it’s Friday night and we only have a finite amount of small notes and coins until the banks open on Monday morning. Never mind that we have time-delay safes and that we have to keep enough change in our tills to process other customers’ transactions until the time delay ends.

Then there are the ones who end up paying for their $25 or so worth of LPG in shrapnel. Yes, leaving yours truly to count up $25 worth of 5c, 10c, 20c and 50c coins while there’s a queue waiting.

Then there’s the lack of eye contact, the complete lack of social niceties (not even a cursory “please” or “thank you”), the endless questions which wear you down and the complete refusal to take “no” or “I don’t know” for an answer.

Then there are the ones who fill up their taxis and then spend 20 minutes wiping their windscreens / clearing the junk out of their cabs / checking their fluids / etc. Meanwhile, the drive-off alarms are going off on my register and there are a hundred other tasks I have to get done out the back while I’m waiting for them to come inside. I’ve taken to getting on the PA and asking them to come inside and pay before attending to their other tasks, though I’m not supposed to.

And don’t get me started on the litter! By far the greatest concentration of garbage is found around the LPG tanks. Macca’s bags jammed between the pumps and the pillars, Coke bottles jammed down the side of the garbage bin between the liner and the box. You know it’s cabbies, because it’s only ever around the LPG bowsers and cabbies love eating Macca’s and there are always discarded Cabcharge receipts among the junk.

At 5am when I have to go outside and sweep the forecourt and empty the bins, you will often find me singing this lovely little nursery rhyme:

“Cabbies are f@#%ing pigs
Cabbies are f@#%ing pigs
Cabbies are f@#%ing pigs
Who are too retarded to use the f@#%ing bin!”

And before anybody gets on their high horse and shouts “R@C!ST!” at me, let me assure you that I have no problem with most Indian customers, who are actually among the most courteous and well-spoken customers we have. In fact, I have an Indian co-worker (the most friendly and gorgeous personality I’ve ever worked with), who’s a high-caste Gujarati housewife whose husband is a pharmacologist, and she doesn’t have a huge amount of respect for cabbies either. From what she tells me, they’re children of Punjabi peasants or shopkeepers, mostly low-caste or Sikh (and therefore outside the Hindu caste system).

Anyway, my experiences with cabs here in Brisbane (both as a console operator and as a passenger) are so dire, that most of the time I would rather walk 5km or wait six hours for the first bus than catch a taxi.

/end rant …. God it’s good to get it out of my system!

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Doesn’t surprise me much, dude.

I always tell my female friends if they’re catching a cab alone at night – if one pulls up and you get either a Lebanese or Indian driver, suddenly remember you left something behind.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
Your comments on Sikhs earlier. All the ones I have met both in Chandigah and in the Australian Military, have all been realy nice,very professional people. Admit they may not be representitive samples .

26 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I didn’t say anything about Sikhs specifically, dude. Those I know personally – my mum has some Sikh friends – are all nice people, but there’s a few carnts in every bunch.

25 08 2011
urbanreverie

Hmm … I have a perspective-based photo of the Merlion fountain in Singapore vomiting into my mouth. It was taken only last year. It’s on my Facebook too. Oh dear.

Oh well, at least I’m man enough to own up to my bogan traits.

26 08 2011
Pandabater

S’OK Urban, everyone except me & you are LIARS!!

26 08 2011
moar caek

that’s not true.

26 08 2011
the beef

Until now, I hadn’t considered sodomy from anywhere else but ‘from behind’.

26 08 2011
Pandabater

Righto, off fishing with the boys for the weekend.
Seeya when I’m sober.
BTW It’s not a gay thing. ;-)

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Panda,
Beware of Gays in Villages and Ladies in Tights and especially wary of Gays in Tights

26 08 2011
Pandabater

No worries James, I’ve got my rod, my soft & hard plastics & the grease.
Should be exciting. As long as I don’t hit a buoy with my dingy.

26 08 2011
Pandabater

RIP Leslie Nielsen. We need farts now more than ever.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Panda,
Just “Let er RIP.”
?

26 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, how very droll.

26 08 2011
James Hunter

Droll from a troll,how droll

26 08 2011
James Hunter

maybe,
How now droll troll. Droll from a troll ?, How droll.. ?Hmm yep thats better.

27 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, dynamic, good communicator, doubtlessly geared towards the young. With that in mind you should really get in the studio and lay down some tracks. Perhaps Coitus Buzzard could be your backing band.

27 08 2011
James Hunter

Dweeb,
Better then the tracks you are doin

27 08 2011
culturalarmament

Oh, James Hunter, the only track you’re capable of laying down is the dirt track connecting poor, culturally invisible Lower Dogpatch with the (relatively) urbane surrounding swamps of the Lower Hunter region. Nice one, pops!

27 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, you’re probably one of those poor schlubs who mistakenly believes that things should be fair for everyone. Geeze, sorry, pops, but if you think everyone subscribes to this deluded idea you might as well expect them to keep up with the news and like, pay attention to politics and stuff just because you do. That simply makes you the bitch of everyone who does not, by which I mean the gifted, talented and good looking people like me. Good luck with all your intellectual conversations of the future. Sorry you’re so ugly too.

27 08 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Mate, farken, exhausting sometimes, this…

Whatever happened to a free, fair, good-natured exchange of ideas?

Ferinstance, can we all agree on the high degree of hilarity provided by this clip?

And, TBL person, would’ve loved to’ve joined ya an’ picked yer brain @ the Napier (now that scumbag Collingwood fans have taken it over, along mit every other pub in Fitzroy… Suck it Peter Temple, we’re everywhere) but was taking in the Fire In Babylon doco in the city. Michael ‘Whispering Death’ Holding was in the house taking thorny questions from Dean Jones and tolerating disjointed anecdotes from Jeff Thomson. Great stuff.

Perhaps one o’ these days the Napier’ll introduce to the menu the Nouveau Bogan Burger… with… y’know… gormay cheese, with capers ‘n shit… boitroot… f#cken rocket… on panoini…

Yup. That’s bedtime.

27 08 2011
martin

It’s basically pick through Peter Thornton’s and Jame’s exchanges to get to the good posts. F#ck off Peter you c#nt. Go and take up bowls or something. They sound like they’d be more your type, old and decrepid and it’s over for them.

27 08 2011
James Hunter

Martin,
If you will hold him still I will bring the knife. ?

27 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, interesting take on punctuation, pops. Being a hideously obese gorilla, having the personality of Barrie Unsworth on Valium and lacking the fundamental written communication skills that are taught to a 12yo really must have its drawbacks. Add your afore mentioned ugliness in case you ever in doubt.

28 08 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Dammit man. The comments section of this blog is fast degenerating into a dumping ground for repetitive personal attacks, tedious verbosity and pedantic grammar-fascism…

Aforementioned is one word, Thornton. And even a drunkard could tell you your last sentence is a syntactical train wreck, unless you’ve taken up ghetto speak, which seems unlikely for a gentleman as seemingly high-cultured as yourself…

Incidentally, if you’ve a problem mit drunkards, I’ll take you on carnt. Alcoholics can be quite violent. And they tendn’t to back down when irritated…

Seriously though, big fan, but I liked you better when you were the portly bald guy apprising MacGyver of his next implausible assignment.

Dana Elcar. Dig his style. Remember The Sting? Newman and Redford? Up to all sorts of wacky hijinks? Yeah. Dig it.

28 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Yawn…

27 08 2011
martin

Sure James. Gut him like a pig!

27 08 2011
James Hunter

Yep.
I had only been thinking of Nutting like a little pig but gutting is bettet , more permanent

28 08 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Record his squeals, will yerz?

28 08 2011
James Hunter

If’n yo keep yo ears pealed then yo hear im real good.

28 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, you really need to lay off the juice. Sorry, pops, but you’re little more that a sorry drunkard. Sorry about that. Sorry to hear about that too!

28 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, don’t strip-mine your own life for your posts! Unlike Australia, you’re not blessed with an abundance of natural resources.

28 08 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

I’ll give you that one.

But the Pilbara’s gonna be mined dry by 2040. Then we’re finished. Apart from the entrepreneurs and free-marketeers, who are seriously going to have moved to the moon by then with the world’s supply of gold in their knapsacks. Seriously.

29 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Your opinons on user content and, I strongly suspect, everything else, are as relevant as those of Mark Latham. Your apocalyptic, end-of-days language is derivative – and increasingly dull.

29 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

Oh, Peter Thornton. 4.14am on a school day.
How will you be able to carry out your prefect duties in such a state. The shame.

29 08 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Better.

Still, for a chronic beater of the same tired drum – and, I strongly suspect, a chronic beater of another dull instrument too – you can’t hold a candle to Fiona of Toorak. At least she had brevity on her side.

And, talking of irrelevance, I don’t think you’ve once made reference to the TBL posts at hand in your incessant crack-o’-dawn diatribes.

A pleasure to make your acquaintance all the same. *loses election with overzealous handshake*

29 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

2Spa, the delusion grows stronger as time goes on. One day soon (hopefully) Pete will go to bed with a mirror & wake up to himself & realise he has been wasting his time on nothing. He is not worthy to even light the candle of the beloved Fiona. What is less than a one trick pony?

29 08 2011
James Hunter

Waterskinsky,
Possibly a short man with an attitude problem,a tooth brush mustache ,an Austrian accent and surrounded by delusions of grandure ?

On a serious note; How many of you notice the news.con sites are very difficult to get any comment published that is critical of rabbit and his co-alition cronies ?
Also increasingly, they do not have comments facilities at all if the subject is something that is likely to draw critism of aformentioned goon and cronies.?
E.G. At the moment the story of the pore polling of the Govmt in Qld has a comments section with the usual suspects pro rabbit rabbid comments whersa the story of foneys comment to sell his arse has no comments section. As if one realy needs to wonder why. Do they realy think all voters are that stupid or is it just hopeing that enough of them are ?

29 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, just like the hayseed you truly are, you’d bring a knife to a gun fight. Sorry, pops! Also sorry about the considerable taxes that my forefathers paid were wasted on your (dishonourable) military service. With the likes of you having once been on its payroll, it’s little wonder the Australian Department of Defence is a laughing stock.

27 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Amongst many of my hipster friends from the Inner West (dread place) bowls is actually quite the thing. You’re obviously from Brisbane or something even worse like England, Ireland or, God help you if you are, Scotland. There! I’ve given you some much needed attention, although there’ll be no more.

27 08 2011
martin

Yeah right, obviously another “ironic” thing they can into, what a wank.

29 08 2011
johnny

actually, it’s past all that now. isn’t it bogans that go lawn bowling now?

29 08 2011
Peter Thornton

Dream on, coolsie, finding out I actually have zero degrees of separation with a stranger is pretty exciting for about half a second until I immediately stop caring.

29 08 2011
Pandabater

Jeez isn’t Underbelly just crap.
It’s like some fcked up Kath & Kim
fancy dress party gone wrong.

30 08 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

Dear TBL, In the absence of a report function, I hereby request that Peter Thornton, and all his sock-puppets (culturalalarmament, and possibly 2 Sparse 2 Spurious) be banned, and any further sign-ups from his U.R.L. be banned as soon as they appear. This is well beyond a joke, and beyond any margin of toleration of robustness of communication on the internet. We don’t need him. Let him go bother people of the You Tube comment pages, and other un-policed fora.

If 2 Sparse 2 Spurious is a bona fide user, I apologize to him/her for the presumption that their user-name is in any way related to Peter Thornton.

30 08 2011
urbanreverie

I, Urban Reverie, a proud citizen of Upper Dogpatch, whole heartedly second this motion!

30 08 2011
James Hunter

I James Hunter most heartly agree

30 08 2011
urbanreverie

Shoosh, you Lower Dogpatch bumpkin. We Upper Dogpatchites crap all over you. Why, just last week we saw our first FJ Holden on the main street and our cinema had a sound system installed. Meanwhile, you’re all still driving around on Model Ts and watching silent Charlie Chaplin films!
;) (tongue firmly in cheek)

30 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

Fonzie says, tell that nerd Thornton to take a ride.
2 thumbs down.

30 08 2011
James Hunter

Actually we have a (one)Black Vanguard Spacemaster !!! and we got talkies now !

30 08 2011
martin

+1. TBL has become a turgid, mean spirited piece of shit thanks to Peter Thornton.

30 08 2011
urbanreverie

Agree, Martin.

Anybody who’s ever done a course on fire safety knows about the “triangle of fire”, that is, the three elements needed for a fire to start and be sustained – fuel, oxygen and ignition.

It’s the same thing with trolls. They need a discussion site, they need an audience, but most importantly they need attention.

Which is why I’ve stayed silent about a certain troll until today. Because I don’t want to fan the flames by granting the attention trolls seek.

But enough is enough. I’m sick of it. So please … Can we all just ignore He Who Must Not Be Named and thereby take the oxygen out of his flame? James, I appreciate that it’s difficult to let his provocations and insults go unanswered – but every time you respond, The Unspeakable One just gets more and more motivated to continue his trolling activities which have made TBL a less pleasant place to hang out online than it should be. He’ll get sick of talking to thin air soon enough.

And TBL, if the troll in question still continues his unacceptable behaviour, can you please ban him? I can understand if you guys are philosophically opposed to censorship, but freedom of expression shouldn’t mean freedom to insult without good reason or to spoil a perfectly good site for everyone else or force everyone to wade through a dozen Page Downs of “blah blah Lower Dogpatch blah blah sorry to hear it pops blah blah hayseed blah blah” just to find posts which actually have merit.

30 08 2011
James Hunter

Urban,
I am with you. You may even have noticed, I have not responded to it in the last couple of days.

30 08 2011
Peter Thornton

On the contrary, toots, my light-hearted posts challenge and possibly even undermine the assumption that media producers need to adopt a paternalistic and protective role towards media consumers. While it’s apparently all very well for TBL to exploit the weakness of mainstream media for its own novelty and that of its readers, my satirical pranks achieve something that the (sometimes) well reasoned, straightforward criticism of TBL increasingly fails to do – challenge assumptions between media producers and passive audiences. This site’s about a lack of diversity in public discourse such as journalism confronting subjects without prior warning. It’s nothing more than cultural hypocrisy if you complain about invasion of privacy or unethical posts. That makes me a bona fide user. Either make a decision or try and keep up. It’s not hard.

30 08 2011
Mick

Yes, well…um…this is all very good.

So, back to bogans eh?

Noted bogan cesspit Cairns has been overrun with foreign bogans. How dare they come here and disguise themselves as locals.

http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=8291588

30 08 2011
urbanreverie

What have you been doing watching ACA, Mick? ;) That’s OK. We’ll forgive you if it were purely for the purposes of boganographic research :)

30 08 2011
Mick

Urban, guilty as charged. I’m currently in another bogan filled cesspit in WA and just trying to fit in.

I saw the ad for it and couldn’t resist. Anyhow, bogans make up quite a large part of my life. Know thy enemy, or something like that. But never fear, next week I’m off for my yearly trip to Margaret River to drink wine, dine out and listen to some live music. To experience the best WA can offer.

Oh, hang on…

2 09 2011
James Hunter

Mick,
Just today noticed a couple mooved into a rental just down the road a bit and the young woman is large like size 22 or 24 at a guess and the bloke is a skjinney as a rake.
Thing is I have niticed quite a number round the shopping centrews like this. Realy large girls and realy skinny young fellas. What type of selective breading is going on in Bogan World to produce this ?
The though of them in bed and at it is very disquiteing.

2 09 2011
Mick

OSB. These were the high school romances. She was the girl who developed first. Unfortunately, after school she developed into a blimp. He was the skinny kid who played up and who, she thought, was a rebel. In reality he was just a no-hoper.

They’ll always tell you that they only had eyes for each other since they were 13. That’s sweet.

For in-depth research, I suggest Michelle and Ferret. There has never been a better study done.

2 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holding Up The Taj Mahal

What Mick said, although he forgot to point out that inevitably the descent into becoming a blimp was aided by popping out two kids before turning 20. Clearly in these cases the rush to return to pre-baby weight did not have much success and now mumma bogue can blame all her weight on having kids even if that was years ago.

2 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

What Mick said, although he forgot to point out that inevitably the descent into becoming a blimp was aided by popping out two kids before turning 20. Clearly in these cases the rush to return to pre-baby weight did not have much success and now mumma bogue can blame all her weight on having kids even if that was years ago.

I notice it as well with some of my mates. I thank Xenu that I never let any woman get her claws into me at that stage. Course, when yr as good looking as me the thought of being a one-woman man makes you shudder :)

2 09 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
A case of lead me to the Hemlock !

2 09 2011
James Hunter

Ah, Michelle and Ferret ! How did I forget them. They were pure Gold !

But you were right. It was them to a “T”

2 09 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

It’s actually fairly universal, there is a subconscious (sometimes conscious too, I suppose) process in selection of partners. In addition to selection based on the immune system (which somehow employs the olfactory system), there is a tendency to homogenize towards a notional average human.

Lamarckian evolution does not, of course work. Individuals of a species can not in the course of their lifespan adapt genetically to their environment. They were either born with desirable adaptations to it or not.

In their own lifespan, however, they can endeavour to ensure that their offspring are. So why does one often see an ectomorph and an endomorph in the kind of relationship which might lead to the production of progeny ? Because each are seeking (consciously or subconsciously) to redress self-perceived deficits in their own biological make-up, in the next generation. I’m not sure if this works, Mendelian genetics suggests that it shouldn’t. The rational approach would be multigenerational, and involve seeking a series of procreational partners, over those generations all of whom are mesomorphic. The likelihood of throwbacks to a endomorphic or ectomorphic ancestor would decrease progressively with subsequent conceptions with mesomorphic partners. The total number of non-mesomorphic descendants would decrease, on average, each generation. It’s a minimization by dilution principle.

Of course this really only addresses socially constructed goals in reproduction, since in the majority of cultures mesomorphism is socially valued. By other criteria, the other body types may be more desirable. Ectomorphs deal with heat better, for example and endomorphs deal with cold better.

2 09 2011
James Hunter

Fi,
I know that in animal husbandry it is possible to get discernable, measurable results within even as little as three or four generations.Also with animals the endo/exo morph biochemistry is important as food conversion effeciency is the prime concideration. Rate of growth is similarly important so both these criteria are reflected in what you say.
With the types of bouges taht are under discussion I think you would agree that an absence of cognative dicipline and zero desire for autodidactism that socialisation and concomitant pressures are going to be the driving force.As the results will likely be less consistant with more (if you like) Sigma events, then we get with say pigs the results will likley take say five or more generations to show a defined direction.
If all else fails send them to the Fat School on “Little Brittin”
?

2 09 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

I might have been suggesting that in the instances alluded to, it might be a subconscious process. Very subconscious.

30 08 2011
James Hunter

Mick,
I seem to recall that is where Houghtons make their superb White Burgandy.
Be sure to try it … often. !

30 08 2011
Mick

Our Simon and myself have posted here before about the joys of drinking Brown Hill Estate. That will be my first stop but all suggestions will be noted and thoroughly researched.

1 09 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, that wine comes in a bottle. At this point in time, the sum total of your advancement is not sufficient enough for you to even contemplate drinking wine that’s packaged in a bottle. Let’s face it, pops, a glass still represents a bizarre concept to you.

1 09 2011
Whistling Nixie

Yes, and we all know that *you* come in a bottle. Every night.

2 09 2011
Peter Thornton

Well look at you, cockneck. I’ve rarely seen anyone fuck up something so simple. Sorry but I’m not sure ‘what we all know’, but I kinda know that your father should have shot you; all over the sheets.
Also, one word re. that growth of hair on your upper back: grooming.

2 09 2011
Peter Thornton

Well look at you, co*kneck. I’ve rarely seen anyone fu*k up something so simple. Sorry but I’m not sure ‘what we all know’, but I kinda know that your father should have shot you; all over the sheets.
Also, one word re. that growth of hair on your upper back: grooming.

30 08 2011
James Hunter

Mick,
Sufficient research is the key !

31 08 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

Bogan news of the day (from Perth, Tuesday 30th August 2011). A woman has been shopping her story around the commercial channels after being charged with assaulting a student and the deputy principal at her daughters’ school. The 13 year old child has now been withdrawn from Boyare Primary, in Mirrabooka. Her mother (who had been banned from entering school property following the incident) contends that the incident was caused by the schools failure to take effective measures in relation to a pattern of bullying. She drawled her way through the interview, while wearing a long sleeved black G-Unit t-shirt. Her face was electronically concealed, as were her children’s, only her mother, the childs’ grandmother gave permission for her image to be used unmodified. The same under-pronounced consonants and flat/nasal vowels were very much in evidence. She did not however use the word “youse”, which was a mercy.

The child at one point repeated an example of the epithets she has been the recipient of, and though she gave the impression of being a somewhat shy, perhaps sensitive child, the phrase rolled off her tongue with an ease that is suggestive that fault my not entirely be all on the other side.

That girl is doomed.

31 08 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

Oh, and the charged woman was stated to be 26 years old.

31 08 2011
31 08 2011
Mick

Nothing says class like spitting on your kid’s teacher.

Splitting my time between Qld and WA has torn me apart. I can never work out which is the bigger bogan state. Although, we may have just picked a winner. Our Fev might be off to Perth.

http://www.skynews.com.au/sport/article.aspx?id=655617&vId=

He will fit right in.

31 08 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

Aren’t we fortunate ! LOL

31 08 2011
James Hunter

So that is what a “perp” looks like ?

31 08 2011
martin

I’ve found QLD’ers to be the bigger bogans. The WA people I met had a fresh earthiness to the point of being a bit naive in the dark hearted suburbs of Sydney and the QLD people had an inferiority complex and were dickheads. But my sample wasn’t very big. Only 2 or 3 of each.

31 08 2011
James Hunter

Martin, I know things change and hopefully for the better but years ago Mrs hanibal and I were invited to an outdoor stadiujm motocross at Eagle Farm and the company had its corporate box on the flat comcrete roof of the public toilets ! Noice, didnt have far to go for a pee at least ! Is that Bogan or What ?

2 09 2011
martin

No I think it’s non-bogan, spending lots of money on sports and sports people is way more bogan.

31 08 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

Fonzies gonna ride the bull!!!!

31 08 2011
James Hunter

Elvis is in the building

2 09 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

So, the terrorist has won,
oh well it was fun while it lasted.

Cunningham, get that boat started,
let’s do this. Whoa.

2 09 2011
TBL enforcement and monitoring agency

no posts this week TBL very disapointing

Yeah sorry about that. Something coming Monday…TBL

2 09 2011
Mr Q

Let’s be honest – We’re talking about Things Bogans Like. And we’re up to 243.

You reckon a Bogan knows about more than 250 things?

2 09 2011
urbanreverie

And, because I am either bone lazy or snowed under with uni work (take your pick), I’ve let Ash write this week’s episode of …

THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!

And this week – Bogue’s brother pays a little visit!

http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2011/09/02/episode-33-hes-a-wanker/

2 09 2011
martin

The wife got both the apartments?! Bloody libtards!

Nice work Ash and Urban.

2 09 2011
Pandabater

Sharks 28, fck this IS fiction. ;-)

2 09 2011
James Hunter

Panda,
Well they are not exactly “Bondi Boys” are they !!

2 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I may have embellished a few details…;)

2 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts As A Release From Sex Addiction

The one in Surfers was only a timeshare, but still.

3 09 2011
martin

Who wants to be Paris’ Best British Friend? A reality show where a bunch of idiot bogans dressed up like tarts and buy shit for Paris and crawl up her arse.

What do you call a gay bogan? A fogan?

http://www.itv.com/paris/

Oh I see the fogan won.

3 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts As A Release From Sex Addiction

I prefer fagan myself. Combines both derogatory slogans.

One of my mates has a mate who is one. I like him enough cause he always plays wingman and knows all the Oxford St bartenders.

3 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Went to see Frenzal Rhomb at the Metro last night and was a little taken aback at the number of bogans who showed up. I’m guessing mostly ones who listen to the Doctor on Triple J.

I did get to witness Jay and the Doctor calling out one particular specimen in the front row with a Southern Cross tattoo, and another Ed Hardy-wearing c0ckhead get spun upside down and land on his head when he tried to crowdsurf and the security pulled him out.

3 09 2011
martin

Did they play Chemotherapy and the Home & Away song? I love Dick Sandwich. The lead singer is a massive libtard and a vegan, so like, yeah it’s ironic man that probably most of the people who like Frenzhal Rhomb are bogans or wannabe libtards. Their libtardness extends to colouring their hair and buying something from Vinnies.

I guess you’re gonna get that when you play punk/surf thrashy punk whatever you wanna call it.

3 09 2011
martin

I think you really have to restrict yourself to the Inner West if you want a bogan free zone at concerts. But then you have to put up with libtards. Oh well at least they won’t make you kiss the flag or pick fights. It’ll just be you who wants to pick the fights.

3 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I have a rule to never throw the first punch (but always throw the second) so being surrounded with hardcore libtards would probably be a bit dangerous. Too much potential for glassin’ carnts.

I don’t remember half the setlist cause I was out of my mind, but they played the Home and Away song.

3 09 2011
Pandabater

The Bogan likes Frenzhal Romb for one simple & pathetic reason.
They swear.

4 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

And sing about punching people in the face. The bogan wishes it could do this but tends to settle for glassin’ carnts so that they don’t mess up their manicured knuckles.

4 09 2011
Peter Thornton

Schmendrick! I’ll hit the Inner West when I want to hang out with hambeast provincials from a small country town named New Zealand (and spare me the “insider’s info” comment re. all the Kiwis living in Bondi – they were priced out of that particular suburb years ago) or spoilt, middle-class, no-talent nobodies, with suspect pedo daddies and mummsies whose dull columns gave birth to the likes of Catherine Deveny or Jane Fraser’s dreadfully boring columns in The Weekend Oz’s Review section.

5 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

See Petey – it’s posts like this that make me believe there’s a human being in there somewhere.

4 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

On a scale of 1 to Ed Hardy, how bogan is spending a night hanging outside a motel room, getting stoned off bad weed and drunk off Canadian Club (the new Jim Beam – trust me on this) and Woodies while maybe doing a few burnouts in a bloke nicknamed Shrek’s Commodore station wagon?

I ask because I think I just broke my personal bogan record last night, and I’d do it again.

4 09 2011
Pandabater

Depends Ash, how many activities from the list did you do?
Sounds like every weekend from my yoof.

5 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

All of them, and again last night except engaging in a little consumption of #10 to the list.

4 09 2011
martin

Depends how bogan your friends are. I would say it’s 1 under Ed Hardy, very bogan, however libards often do the same thing in their youth, I used to have a libtard friend who I smoked pot with and he didn’t mind fanging it a bit, nor did I. But we got libtard points for jamming in his garage, he on drums, me on bass. But he used to drink those Strongbow ciders, I’m not sure what libtards generally drink.

I’m not sure bogans really smoke pot, because they’re at the top of their attractiveness to the opposite sex at that age, still got the “cool” factor going from school, and so they might not want to ruin any chance for any anal.

4 09 2011
James Hunter

Martin Strongbow was very libtard as way back as was Mateus Rose(yuck) Porphyry Pearl ,Sparkling Reingold and for the heavy hitters Cold Duck ( a red sparkling) amd the sophisticates drank German “Liebfraumilch” a half way decent late picked Reisling
Strongbow had I think connotations of “Oxford” and an English country pub where in fact they do have cider on tap.

4 09 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, turn it up! Everyone knows you siphoned down the Blackberry Nip. And despite the well known advertising jingle that suggested it was “the drink you should sip”, you, pops, did anything but that… And you’d still be on it if it were available. Fortunately, in the chilled beverages section of the Lower Dogpatch combination General Store and flea parlour, which amounts to a few Malley’s Eskies in the corner balanced precariously atop one another, methylated spirits is readily available.

5 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Kinda bogan, but more insane. They’re the sweetest guys I know even when drunk. Kinda like me actually, so y’all can judge.

And yes, cider is very libtard. When I went to a work meeting full of them that’s what was on offer. I drank it anyway.

21 09 2011
iseebogans

I’ve always cringed at my friends perspective photos. So super lame. I went to Pisa a couple years back and it was unbearable. hundreds of bogans the world over taking the same stupid photo.

3 11 2011
Jesse

Just a thought: is it possible that this website is dominated by comments by five or six people because:

THESE ARE THE VERY PEOPLE WHO CREATED THE WEBSITE AND THYEY DID SO BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO SELL BOOKS AS PART OF A BPD (bogan publishing deal)?

I hope I am wrong because I kinda thought that shamelessly chasing the dollar was something that this website chastised bogans for doing.

3 11 2011
James Hunter

Well Jesse,
now that you have developed this doubt no matter what we say you will never ever be sure. Game , set and match !

10 12 2011
Wayne Hacker (@RandomExcess)

Very funny

10 12 2011
James Hunter

very perceptive

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