#145 – Hot Asian Chicks

2 06 2010

There are hundreds of thousands of white bogan males in Australia, and they know many things. They know that Australia is the best country in the world. They know that Asia is only good for Phuket, cheap Oakleys, and maxxing out at the Full Moon Party. They know that they like their women looking like Katie Price. They know that immigrants should get out and stop taking their jobs. But, paradoxically, they also know that hot Asian chicks are… hot.

The bogan covetousness of the hot Asian chick is proof that the white bogan male is actually a great bloke. A lighthouse of cosmopolitanism and compassion that shines across the hostile seas. If the illegal fishing boats full of Afghani immigrants that wash up on Ashmore Reef actually were full of hot Asian chicks, you can be absolutely certain that the bogan would not have railroaded the Federal Government into declaring a six month suspension on processing asylum seeker claims. Indeed, if word got out that these boats were laden with the finest treasures of the orient, hordes of bogans would be strapping long range fuel tanks and floral bouquets onto their jetskis, and trying to intercept the vessels themselves. Nobody would be watching Border Security on the plasma any longer, the entire male audience would be out trying to harness Australia onto a boat trailer and drag it closer to Java with the help of over 10,000 fluorescent FPV utes.

Unfortunately for the male cosmo-bogue, the concentration of hot Asian chicks on these boats is not as high as it wishes. As such, the bogan keeps its covetousness of them entirely separate from its views on immigration, saving it and its friends from having to sit down and synchronise any dissonant information. This leaves the bogan with the time to go out and get max plastered. Out at the drinking barn, the bogan collective will make loud comments early in the evening about how the Asian guy a few metres away is certainly not well endowed. As the night wears on, the attention shifts back to the other gender, and when an attractive Asian female is sighted at the other end of the bar, a bogan will invariably announce to his friends that he’s “going to be eating Chinese tonight” to roaring approval.

The bogan confidently eyes the hot Asian chick. It has witnessed hours of them copping it on the net, and has a thorough knowledge of how they are seduced. Purchasing a house Chardonnay, it approaches the female, who is already sipping on her cocktail. “Here sweetheart, how about you have a drink of this, and then we’ll go back to my bedroom so that you can discover Australia”. The girl observes the bogan with an exotic blend of horror and amusement, and walks off. Reporting back to its mates, the bogan explains that “she wasn’t hot, so I told her to get out of Australia”. The night ends with the spurned bogan performing the stranger on itself in its computer chair, to the familiar scenes of “Asian Slutmax Volume IV”.


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665 responses

2 06 2010
Anonymous

I almost got caught masturbating to Erotic Ghost Story when I was a teenager.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

by who?

2 06 2010
Anonymous

by the parents.

2 06 2010
JimC

Has that got Amy Yip in it?

I don’t blame you, son.

11 06 2010
caracal1788

That’s an SBS classic! That, and The Weather Woman.

8 08 2010
trey81

Erotic Ghost story is a great movie.

5 02 2011
Roger

I would do poh over Julie Goodwin any day.
If that makes me a bogan … So be it.

9 02 2011
TAB

I share this experience. You have made me ROFL.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

Bogans are not racist or so they will say while oagaling the asian chickys and while ineffectually making his lustful intentions plain . The question to me is when the situation is reversed and an asian male makes a pass at an anglo chicky. The bogan wants to leap up ,broken bottle or stubbie in hand to give the slope a lesson. Now is this the true racial predudice of the bogan comming to the for or is it mearly the only way that the boag has of releasing the frustration and rage that the humiliation the rejection to his own futile attempt to “part the hair “of the asian chick of his desire engendered .?
It could also be a way of in his eyes of regaining status with his mates and of impressing the anglo chickys present.This surely is important as having failed with the asian girl he will be in a blind rush to make a fool of himself with the first available anglo female that is present.

2 06 2010
bellastarkey

From my extensive experience with bogan chicks i can say for certain that they “don’t do asians” unless, apparently the asian is Jet Li.

The female equivelent of the male bogan’s orientalist desires, aka yellow fever, is to be ravaged by the noble savage, aka jungle fever, aka black dudes.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Again, the female desire for the black man is not confined to the bogans.

2 06 2010
James

On our street, in one of the social housing places, there is an Anglo girl married to an Asian. But he is a bogasian, so I am not sure that it counts.

2 06 2010
SD

I see a lot of white girls with Islanders/Maoris in my suburb.

2 06 2010
James

Are they brogans?

2 06 2010
SD

:-)

Some of the bro comedy from NZ plumbs new levels of low….

25 06 2010
JT

name one that isn’t.

20 10 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

This is true.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

yeah and I bet you never saw it happen once in your whole life.One token(real or imagined) event is not evidence of a pattern

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Saw what happen?

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

nice one james! :)

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Chub! Welcome back!
Where’s Edna?

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

We miss you Chubbly and Edna!!

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

aww!
we love youse all.
edna is in the bedroom watching project runway. She sends her love.
we have been variously lost in the wilds of the upper clarence high country, canoe camping on the nymboida in the teeming rain with the dog, and partying with techno ferals, mad chemists and anarcho cynicalist intelligentsia types in the forest. Pretty much. anyway optus declines to service us in the above mentioned geographicalities. what is an major drag.
I miss TBL and BOM particularly.

2 06 2010
Pandabater

Chubby I’ll fill you in with what happened while you were away;
Someone told FoT not to start every post with LOL, we all laughed.
Someone told FoT not to start every post with LOL, we all alughed.
Someone told…….you get the picture.

2 06 2010
Pandabater

*alughed*

I invented a new word.

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh how we all aluged when we read
that!
Pandabater our lives are deeply enriched for your insightful, comprehensive and dare we say soulful synopsis.
thankyou.

And we do dig your handle too!

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

*alughed
d’oh!

2 06 2010
Pandabater

“soulful”

*blushes*

I wanted a name that starts out nice but then goes a little bit wrong.

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

I can totally dig that
I was going to be Chester Hamme-Wallit but my wife already did the hyphen thing…

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Panda, you missed one very important development – Common Man has been contributing in a constructive, lucid and occasionally actually amusing fashion.

Punctuation’s still a worry, but he’s found the *shift* key, and thus has capitalised some letters, too.

All in all, it’s been heartwarming.

2 06 2010
Pandabater

On occasion bemusedly heartwarming but still worth reading every time.

2 06 2010
Will S

I’m gonna stick my neck out there and admit I asian (and subcontinental, lol) girls do have a certain appeal… that they’re less likely to be bogans!

2 06 2010
SD

Will can’t speak for the Asian girls but my subcontinental relos here are decidedly bogan. And one of them is marrying an Anglo bogan. We are dreading the wedding…..

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Should be heaps special and that SD…Tangerine and tule akimbo!

2 06 2010
SD

true but the double bogan blast will leave us reeling…

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Think of it as research for TBL. That way your frame of reference will make it easier to deal with the fact that the bride looks like a Tangerine Marshmallow. ;)

2 06 2010
SD

I am afraid she is planning on looking like pink candyfloss shot through with gold, the groom will be wearing blinding brocade. They also have two maxtreme weddings planned – the second one is the “Aussie” one where they plan to do the meringue + penguin thing.

To think we come from a country where Ms. Gandhi wore a hand spun cotton sari for her wedding…..

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ SD

I know what you mean. I have a cousin, who got married and had babies. My family has a Christening Gown that has been in the family from my Grandfather’s Great Grandfather.

She had it “re-tailored” to something more “modern”. It looked like a fairy farted and vomited all over it. Gone was the handmade lace, the silk, everything.

Bogans…

2 06 2010
Tombarina

*wine snort*

Ouch! Sorry, laughing at farting fairy reference, not the be-bogued travesty that the heirloom gown has become.

I do hope you glassed the stupid wench, or at the very least gave them a truly crappy christening gift. Something from the Franklin Mint, for eg.

3 06 2010
vivisection

Tombarina – don’t knock the Franklin Mint!! Franklin Mint catalogues are like porn to me, I can’t get enough.

Who doesn’t need a Faberge Egg with Cinderalla Carriage inside, or a House of Etre art deco ceramic lady with wolfhound or a Dances with Wolves collectors plate from the Native American range??? Need I go on?

To test a theory that a drag queen friend and I had – that once you buy Franklin Mint , they can track you down for life, I made my sister buy me a Simpson’s Collectors plate from a Franklin Mint catalogue for my birthday. This was about 15 years ago and I’m pretty sure they still send her catalogues even though she has moved interstate.

Someone should buy Osama Bin Laden some Franklin Mint.

3 06 2010
vivisection

Mink Stole, Kathleen Turner and Franklin Mint. Hold me back

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Viv I effing LOVE that movie!

Pussy Willow… hahahahaha!

3 06 2010
vivisection

actuall if yo right click on it, you should get a “watch on youtube option” if you can be bothered

3 06 2010
vivisection

Shirley – “calling 212F#ckyou, is that the cocksucker residence?”

3 06 2010
Tombarina

Oh, yes, the Mint. Purveyer of quality heirlooms’n’$ht.

I find their dolls particularly wiggy – check out Baby Scarlett O’Hara and Baby Marilyn Monroe among the myriad quality options here: http://www.franklinmint.com/subcategory.aspx?SID=2&Category_ID=210&Page=1&type=sub&sort=new

They’re goin’ STRAIGHT to the poolroom…..

3 06 2010
vivisection

And a bargain at only $225.

3 06 2010
vivisection

And I know that my home needs “Hints of Imperial Russia” – and for only $8500 I can have this little beauty

http://www.franklinmint.com/product1.aspx?SID=2&Product_ID=9341

3 06 2010
vivisection

what a dodgy website , i didn’t want collectors coins for Dad, I wanted the House Of Faberge egg!. I’m having no luck at all today.

3 06 2010
pb

surely this is the sort of franklin mint stuff everyone wants: http://www.franklinmint.com/product1.aspx?SID=2&Product_ID=9276 commemorative john wayne coins. or maybe you’d prefer the cat gone fishing porcelain box: http://www.franklinmint.com/product1.aspx?SID=2&Product_ID=10237. or maybe you’ve always had a hole in your life that can only be fixed by a porcelain phone: http://www.franklinmint.com/product1.aspx?SID=2&Product_ID=10429

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Would it be rude to wear dark sunglasses? That way you can at least protect your eye’s from the glare.

Hope she’s a non smoker. ;)

2 06 2010
Explosions Hurt

I have yellow fever something bad.

The yellow menace gets me so worked up.

3 06 2010
Pandabater

This is for Vivi above (9:02:11) but there is no reply thingy.
Go back to the link & check out the Grad gifts directly under the coins. There is a number of somewhat baffling choices on offer, love the princess Zippo.

3 06 2010
vivisection

That Princess Zippo looks like the perfect reward for anal…. I still want the $8400 faberge egg though.

2 06 2010
JimC

I can’t really get behind this, TBL.

ALL men, bogue or otherwise, are into Hot Asian Chicks.

2 06 2010
Gavin

just because you do something like bogans doesnt mean you are bogan, it’s all in your method / motives..

2 06 2010
Bec

And when they become old, fat bogans whose uncouthness, repellent overdosing on Lynx and maxxtreme lack of cultural capital renders them sexless, they will then declare that “white women are emasculating bitches”, and that Asian women must all totes cater to their weird Suzy Wong porn fetishes because they’re *exotic* (read: submissive).

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I’ve been waiting for this one. My bogan ex had a “relationship” with a lovely young Asian girl. We had a fight and he told me she was a real woman, she “looks after him proper like a real man should be” read: she’s a slave. She left him. Pregnant and with a wad of his cash. I nearly died laughing.

Excellent post TBL.

2 06 2010
Sibyl Ince

Of course she left him. Once they have the half-western baby/ies and the passport they leave anyway. Sadly for the male bogan he’s a bit slow on the uptake in this regard. You never really own an Asian chick, you can only just house one temporarily until she becomes entitled to benefits..

2 06 2010
big_baggies

So you are saying they are sly , cunning and out ro rip people off ?

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Sybyl,

She went back to her native country. She wasn’t allowed to talk to me, look at me, or even say hello. I think the BoB thought some of my left wing idea’s might rub off on her. So to wind him up I would have these really lovely chirpy conversations about kids and pregnancy etc; He would nearly pop his poopa valve. :D Shit stirring bogan’s is such fun!

2 06 2010
miss dahl

Don’t you just love it when some guy orders a woman to not talk to, look at or even say hello to another woman… Pinky, you must be so subversive!

2 06 2010
TheMon

Well she was a smart Asian girl indeed Pinky. Just look at Rose Hancock… started off as a cleaner & look where she is now! Many bogan males think an Asian girl will cook, clean, keep quiet & bend over backwards for them, unlike the bogan female who isn’t ‘as much of a woman.’

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Themon

I don’t know how they met, personally I don’t want to know, it’s bad enough I still have to see the bastard. Anyhoo, I was thrilled when she did him over and took his “precious” son away, just like I did!

@ miss dahl

I took enough of his shit when we were married and since she was the one looking after my kids for access, we had a right to know each other and watching the little bastard have a heart attack of a few words about nappy brand choice was awesome. I have to admit, I did worry that he would beat the shit out of her for my behaviour. Which didn’t sit well.

2 06 2010
Glass 'em all

So that’s why we went to Viet nam…

2 06 2010
James Hunter

no, we went because the yanks invited us.

2 06 2010
James

Actually, we requested that the Americans ask the Diem government to invite us…

2 06 2010
Glass 'em all

Party at Marshall Kỳ’s – BYO napalm.

2 06 2010
Sibyl Ince

I just can’t get past the contradiction in terms: “Hot” and “Asian chick”. It just doesn’t compute for me.

2 06 2010
Bec

Gtfo racist.

2 06 2010
Sibyl Ince

Make me, you lil tuffie, you.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

First of all, I’ll agree with some others here that all men like hot asian chicks, however it’s the paradoxical way this sits with the bogans set of beliefs that makes this a worthy point of interest.

I love how men will argue which Asian country produces the hottest chicks. I’ll speculate that this is a past time for bogan men, and with their very rudimentary geographical, anthropological and cultural knowledge base, I’m sure it would be a hoot to sit in on such a discussion. Any anecdotes you commenters have regarding this, I implore you to share!

2 06 2010
miss dahl

Interesting you mention that because I’ve only ever seen middle aged/older Aussie men with Asian women as WAGs, mail order brides, maybe. Younger guys, like the ones you mention, no, only ever seen them in groups of their own kind or with white Anglo/Euro WAGs . Maybe all they do is talk a lot about it, never really follow through with the hot Asian chicks … Anyway, my experience working with young Asian women is that they want the ring, the houe, the bank account and the educated man. Their parents will have nothing less. Can the male bogan provide that to order?

2 06 2010
Shirley M

I’d say the young bogans definitely mostly talk about it. Perhaps occasionally one will get to bang a hot asian chick after he gets her shit faced drunk (cheaply – perhaps this is another reason for the appeal?), but few would end up in bonafide relationships with one. Without even looking at the girls point of view, the average bogan male would be very fearful of becoming ensconced in a foreign family. It would make it incredibly difficult to continue its ‘fuck of we’re full’ campaigning.

2 06 2010
Jason

@ miss dahl – True, I can’t imagine a bogan actually saving for a ring the equivalent of 3 months wages, let alone spending their hard-earned on anything they can’t drive, watch, drink or holiday at.

Their money is, as they delight in telling you, all their own to “piss up against a wall” as they please.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Jason

they wouldn’t save for the ring would they? Just pop into Michael hill and chuck it on interest free. :)

2 06 2010
martin

I agree. Mentally speaking Asian girls are generally better than white women, I usually have feel more of an affinity with them because I’m reasonably educated. It’s usually the nerds who end up with the hot Asians because the Asian girls respect a civilised mind. The bogan girls respect how well a man can beat the shit out of someone and how well they can do a death stare and how much money they inherited and or got from cashies and ‘investment properties’ or how much they love themselves because they’re a bogan. The bogans usually end up with the trashy me love you long time Asians.

2 06 2010
Nelson Esq

Martin, I would say that the older type of bogan would end up with the trashy mail order ‘me love you long time’ type of asian girl, who is only looking for a visa to stay.

The bogue nouveax who is attracted to Asians would never openly admit it to his mates and would never marry an Asian, as that would be un-Australian and would probably make him an outcast within his group of mates with whom open racist remarks are commonly made. However, he would certainly get away with ‘buying’ one for a week from a bar in Phuket when on his end-of-season footy trip; what goes on at footy trip, stays on footy trip! Treating her like dirt and bragging to his mates about how he banged her 40 different ways, including sideways every night of the week when in Phuket would certainly earn points with the boys and earn him the title of ‘Legend and fuckin’ funny cunt!’

11 02 2011
social observer

As part of my job in public transport, the ammount of Bogans that frequent the asian houses in the red light districts is unbelievable. The way they stumble out of the brothle and into my cab and brag about their conquest is nothing short of horrifying. Kind of makes the rape scene from casualties of war look consentual. And here they are saying that arab males are pack rapists.
Going on sex tours and sex binge’s to Bali and Phuket is a right of passage to the bogan male. Its like they believe its their right to sodomise Asian women to get back at them for feeling like the boat people have sodomised this country. And I say sodomised because to have anal sex with a woman is the most degrading method known to man.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

Yes and this vast intelligence over white girls is reflected in the great successes that their societies are and utter failure of Western societies..

…………oh …wait!

2 06 2010
James

Where do I even start with this one?

2 06 2010
vivisection

with a deep breath.

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

don’t bother
dnftt

2 06 2010
SD

Chubby, quelle coincidence! I was just about to post a remark that Edna and you have been away a looooooooooong time!

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

synchronicity.
south dakota
y’know, I’ve always been meaning to tell you, I always thought you were an american (white) guy…
until relatively recently, obviously. :)
edna and I both think Viv is also probably totally hot.
funny, huh?

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Big shout-out to Viv!

Chub, we know he’s 6’4″, blonde, pierced, inked and extremely smart/sarcy/amusing – if I were a gay bloke, I’d be there like a rat up a drain.

2 06 2010
vivisection

actually, recently i have been l’oreal natural black! Blonde is too much effort.

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

*shiver*
You’re turning my wife into a gay man!
you rogue you.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I thought I was the only one who tries to imagine what people look like.

@ Chubbly

You’re having a love affair with the words “totally hot” today aren’t you? ;)

When are you guys back online in a more permanent fashion?

PS. I reckon Vivi and Tombarina would be a crack up together in real time. ;)

2 06 2010
vivisection

you guys *blush*. see i can do demure too!! :)

3 06 2010
Tombarina

*tries to blush delicately, fails, looks like a radiation burn victim*

Nope. I can’t.

3 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@pinky
the words totally hot are totally hot!
we are heading north and will be wintering in the top end before returning to settle at Narrybogue in the spring/late spring.

I can’t help but visualise. the good news is everyone is beautiful!
except baggies and peter.
james looks like michael caine.
I look like nick nolte in his mugshot photo (seriously! It’s uncanny.) edna looks like young audrey hepburn with cute freckles.
common man is a young keanu skater punk
tomba is nigella
simon looks like nick rhodes from duran duran and you look like avril lavigne before she cracked it
shirley is zan rowe.

3 06 2010
Shirley M

I had to google Zan because I had no idea what she looked like. Not bad, Chubby, not bad.

Though I’m sure her feet aren’t as gargantuan and repulsive as mine apparently are.

3 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Chub, thanks for the Nick Rhodes (Ithink?). I am 5’11, 70 kg brown hair and am told I smile alot. You failed to tell us what Fi looks like, we all know what JH looks like as nature intended him.

3 06 2010
Shirley M

I knew you were quite tall, Simon. I’m sure you have far more sensible hair than Nick Rhodes though.

3 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@shirley
I have the market cornered on giant manky feets.
we passed an hysterical evening camping in the bush researching the psilocybe cubensis checking out my feet. benign but horriply ugly, they each have their own personalities. Imagine the mystics from the dark crystal but with odd tufts of hair and more articulate and articulated. my right foot is a complete show off though. (we think he’s ADHD)

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Well you know what they say Chub, unattractive souls (or soles?) need to have well developed personalities to make up for their aesthetic shortcomings. I bet your feet are pleased you have finally taken the time to notice. And by the sounds of it, lefty needs a little more love.

3 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@simon
Fi looks like Charlize Theron
playing aileen wournos :)

3 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@p!nky
martin is totally christopher walken.

3 06 2010
pb

do you think he can dance like walken does in the fatboy slim video?

3 06 2010
SD

P!nky I do have cafe au lait skin but lack any kind of hotness!

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Here’s what I think you all look like (apologies in advance to anyone I forget and also to those who don’t like what I give you).

Viv: You remind me of someone I know, and all I imagine is a winning smile
Tombarina: Dark hair, excellent posture
Fiona: Kinda like Reese Witherspoon in ‘Election’
Benji: Troublesome for me because I had an ex-boyfriend by the same name. Dark hair, not overly tall, warm features.
Simon: Tall, lean, but a bit uncoordinated (sorry… )
Pinky: Neat, sensible, no fuss, well groomed.
Chubby: A bit mountain mannish.
Edna: Like Laura Dern if she wasn’t such a f*cktard
James: Not as hot as Jarvis Cocker (no offense, hardly anyone is)
SD: long long hair. Voluptuous.

I fully concede I might be wrong. Like when I was a kid and Garfield was made into a movie and the voice of Garfield was absolutely nothing like I had imagined.

I didn’t do a couple of you on purpose, like JH, because we’ve all seen him, and pb, because she just told us. Some people I didn’t do because I don’t have anything nice to say. And I may just have forgotten some of you.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Those of you fortunate enough to follow me on twitter have a very good idea of what I look like.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

I’m concerned you might encounter back problems later in life Fi. I mean, those boobs on that frame…. I hope you keep your core muscles in good shape.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m sure you’ve got some good advice for me in that regard…

4 06 2010
Tombarina

Shirl! I DO have excellent posture!

But I’m blonde. My entire family look like the Hitler Youth.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Oh well, one outta two ain’t bad.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Wait a minute…

We’ve all seen JH?

Where?

I haven’t.

Do I even want to…

4 06 2010
Shirley M

I’m sure your PTs have you covered, Fi, but as I said, keep your core muscles strong, or one day you might have to get those implants removed.

4 06 2010
SD

Loooong hair, large eyes, small. But not voluptuous :-(

4 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Realy I am disapointed.!
Just click on my website.
Warning “Parental Supervision” recomended so maybe you should get your mum to be handy just in case. !!

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What website???

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Another 50% success rate. Rather symbolic of my whole life, really.

4 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
I thought all you have to do is put your cursor over my name on any post and click ,it should take you straight to :
http://www.circusbizarre.com.au
I am the large fella with the concrete block on my head. a.k.a. “Baby Hanibal”
Dont worry it does come off !

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL.

*gurgle*

Surely you jest…???
:-|

4 06 2010
vivisection

It does make a fetching hat JH, but it doesn’t work as a toupe though, I wouldnt be convinced

4 06 2010
vivisection

Fi, are you ok? I see you on the floor, clutching your pearls with a death grip.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m feeling better now. Maid brought me a double brandy, she could see how shocked I was!

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Shirl,

How did you know I am unco, it has ruined what could have been a stellar sporting career. Lack of motor skills will do that.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

So I was right! I don’t know how I knew. Perhaps your penchant for e-glassing is compensation for the fact that you’d miss your target in real life. That, and of the Simons I’ve known, at least half of them are unco.

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

In real life I am likely to glass myself. I never have my kitchen knives sharpened as a measure of self protection.

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

Ha Ha I should have kept up that persona for awhile.

But I am dark, a 30 is the new 20 woman and Indian. Given that I am surprised I am so addicted to TBL. I think its because Mr. SD and I like travelling because you can be amidst different cultures and TBL+commenters is a tiny, brilliant window into Oztralya – though I hasten to add not our only one!

I will take Dakota – its Indian – and quite possibly a bogue name!

PS: I am quite sure Viv is fantabulously and ridiculously hot!

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I hate Avril Whats-It. I actually am very short, 5’3 and shrinking, Short dark brown hair, Heavy black framed glasses (think of Geoff Goldblume in Jurassic Park) and pretty much always have jeans, red cons and a hoodie with something stupid written on it.

If anyone knows what Sara Quinn from Tegan and Sara that’s what I kinda look like, but not talented or famous.

I reckon James is a bit like George Peppard in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

I have no idea what Dear Marty looks like, cause I can’t work him out.

Benji looks like Clark Gable in Gone With The Wind.

You’re all a bunch of hotties in my head.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ The Great Chubbly One

Christopher Walkin….BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I don’t understand Marty…he just confuses me and I’m easily confused at the best of times…

I reckon PB looks a bit like Astronautalis, hmmm Astronatalis

I reckon Vivi looks like a dude who worked at my favourite coffee shop. He was dead sexy, funny, and just delicious. Pitty I’m a chick and all that :(

SD are you blessed with lovely skin? I reckon you’re a bit of a hottie all smoldering and glossy (not in a bad way in a cool way)

miss dahl, I imagine as being really quirky cool. I imagine that she’s pretty smart and can smell bullshit like a fart in a car.

Turnips – He’s the cool lad in the back of the class. Smart enough to keep his nose clean, cool enough to rock the boat.

3 06 2010
vivisection

I think Fi is a cross between Anna WIntour and Jeannie Pratt

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Ew! Maybe in 100 years. And even then, hopefully not. :-(

3 06 2010
vivisection

No offence intended Fi :) It’s just that I consider these women to be the epitome of the power and/or breeding that you clearly have.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. They’re old enough to be my grandmothers!

Hmmm, should I reveal who I am most often compared to in looks…

Perhaps I’d better not. Discretion being the better part of valour and all that.

3 06 2010
vivisection

And it could have been a lot worse – the love child of Princess Anne and Prince Charles for example:

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. *sobs* Why are you saying these things about me?

3 06 2010
vivisection

Sorry Fi, I retract all such nastiness. I am a mean bitter queen, jealous of all the Franklin Mint you undoubtedly possess. I’m sure that you look as great as a young Joanna Lumley! And that is a compliment of a very high order.

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
I realy don’t think Viv ment anything by that.
Im sure most of us still love you and love your work.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Hmmm, having no idea what “Franklin Mint” is, I’m not sure if your retraction is genuine or not…

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Yes, but I should also be loved (worshipped really) for my looks!

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Ah to put your foot upon my cheak and to do your bidding.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m more likely to put my foot IN your cheeks, JH!

3 06 2010
vivisection

JH – As long as it isn’t Shirley’s feet in your cheeks, you should be alright.

3 06 2010
Shirley M

That’s it. I’m totally photographing my stiletto bedecked feet to end this once and for all.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Come and talk to me when you can carry two cocktail glasses in 9″ stilettos Shirley.

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
Shirl I could probably manage but what would cause nightmares would be ,BB,
man have to get the .50 cal Barrets out of the closset

3 06 2010
Shirley M

You think I can’t, Fiona? I could carry 4 cocktail glasses, sans tray, in 9″ heels.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. OMG, we should like, TOTALLY hang out some time then. :-)

3 06 2010
vivisection

That’s because of the extra gravity those hoofas generate Shirley!

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Fiona – as long as you’re buying, I’m there.

Viv – you think you’re soooooo funny, dontcha? ;-)

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. We should make a day of it and go (expensive) lingerie shopping. :-)

3 06 2010
vivisection

Are you both planning careers as lingerie cocktail waitresses? Classier than Hooters at least

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I think we are! Shirley as the doer, me as her pimpess!

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Again, Fiona, as long as you’re buying. I’ll let you look at everything I try on, of course. If you’re into that kind of thing.

3 06 2010
pb

@ p!nky, i looked up who astronautilis was – very nice and i am blonde haired and blue eyed, but i’m a girl, 5’6″ and a skinny little thing.

3 06 2010
vivisection

There really is no limit to your kind generosity is there Fi? Looking out for Shirley like that. I think you’re just trying to make some serious money out of the foot fetish market – I’m on to you! Be careful Shirley! Stranger Danger !! – don’t meet up with people off the internet – Fiona will have weird little rich men trying to dry hump your toes in no time – and you won’t see the moula!

3 06 2010
Shirley M

One of my feet:

http://twitpic.com/1ticsc

3 06 2010
vivisection

Shirley, the old black and white , half in the shadows photo, feet daintying trick. Is there vaseline on the lens too?

3 06 2010
Shirley M

FFs Viv!

Here’s colour, for you. I just have a penchant for film noir, ok?

http://twitpic.com/1tidry

3 06 2010
vivisection

Taken from thirty feet away? I’ll stop now.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ PB

Oh dear, I’m sorry to have made you a dude. At least I got the hair colour right! ; ;)

He’s really awesome, I didn’t know who he was until he fronted for the last Tegan and Sara concert. I was shit happy I was the only straight girl there ;)

I’m 5’3 and tiny..we should hang out, be like opposites or something…LOL I’m short and dark and your tall and blond. And clearly am losing my mind… :?

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Viv, are you sure you’re not my friend who collects Prada belt and loves the John Waters hairspray?

3 06 2010
vivisection

No prada belt collection Shirley – its about the only thing I don’t collect – i’m a shameless collector of many things. I do love John Waters though. You can tell your friend I have a collectable Hello Kitty Hairspay / collaboration Gold Pendant and Tote Bag from the Hello Kitty Superstore in Tokyo though! Tracey Turnblad Kitty – Double camp!!

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Well you very much remind me of him, and I know you two would get along famously. He’s an avid collector of lots of things as well.

4 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,

If only I had a picture of myself in my pink tutu on the site
Fi would have swooned

5 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Shirl

“:Pinky: Neat, sensible, no fuss, well groomed.”

I’m sometimes neat, always comfortable, yet cool. When I was working full time I was well turned out, but being home full time I get to express myself a little bit more.

I’ve cut all my hair off and pushed aside towering stiletto’s for my uber cool Con’s. I don’t mind getting dressed up, but am so pleased that I don’t have to do it everyday :D.

I look like these girls. My hair looks like Sara’s (the twin with the striped top)

2 06 2010
martin

Well their base iq may be more or less the same, although I do believe Asians do have a superior iq, Jews are at the top, whites 3rd, it’s probably not anything substantial. It’s more of an attitude thing I think. Whilst the white female pines to be debased and defiled by “bad boys” ie, bogans and wankers, the Asian girl is usually studying for a degree and utilising feminism how it was meant to be, ie doing real work instead of taking advantage of the furry wallet.

2 06 2010
James

I could go on to point out relative economic performance, and discuss the “economic miracles” that are Singapore, South Korea, Hong Kong, and China more generally, but I think we would be wasting our time, martin.

3 06 2010
brad

Steve Tyler

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Shirl, If I say yummy mummy is that bogan? Take it as a compliment and nice feet by the way (cripes bit creepy huh).

Fi, in my mind, is Cate Blanchett. how do you like them apples?

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I do not like them at all. She’s ugly! Shirley has come closest so far, but she has the advantage of having “sort of” seen me.

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Ok, I will give it more thought, can you give us a nationality on your look alike? I see you as more classy than Reese, and more classical looking.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well obviously I am Anglo-Saxon. Tall(ish), blonde, spectacular figure. What else do you need to know really?

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Ok, Pamela Denise Anderson. There, nailed it.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Ew, she’s skanky. I have no skankiness at all.

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Obviously sans skank, but body, looks etc, close? I am thinking her Home Improvement days.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. No, more demure than her, even at her most demure.

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Right, Lets try Anne Hathaway but blonde.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Oi! I already told you, Shirley was closest. And she’s still closer than you!

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Ok, it’s just that Reese is short and kinda funny lookin’.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Why don’t you just find my twitter account?

4 06 2010
vivisection

Fi – anything like Jennifer Coolidge?

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Been there, seen it but it is only a caricature.

4 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. But based on reality. :-)

4 06 2010
vivisection

Just saw the Twitter account Fi, and I might add that the hairstyle is uncannily similar to what a young Jeanne Pratt or Anna Wintour would have had!

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Ahh yummy mummy is a bit bogan, but I’ll take it as a compliment nevertheless. And I’m very pleased someone has finally had something nice to say about my feet. I was beginning to develop a complex.

4 06 2010
vivisection

A complex? to house them in ?

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Yes, Viv. A giant complex to house them in. But thanks to Simon, it seems like the extension to the house is off.

4 06 2010
vivisection

Sorry again Shirley. I really will stop now.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

It’s ok Viv. I’m not taking it to heart (yet).

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I am the Tarantino of this blog, ever noticed his foot fetish?

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Now that you mention it….

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

All his leading ladies get a foot close up.

2 06 2010
brad

Spot on miss dahl i had a dalliance with a Chinese girl who i met on my daily train ride,an attraction based on curiosity more than anything;me-anglo tradie,her- Chinese student who helped her father run a restaurant and two takeway outlets.I dont like too generalise,but the impression i got from her and her friends was that status and money were everything,good times and finding yourself were definatly secondary and family comes first.She was an intelligent person with a great sense of humour and strong minded,but so uptight,i grew up with qute a few mates who were first gen aussies so i’ve seen the weight of expectation they have too deal with,but this was hardcore.it didnt last long but we both got something out of it (was fun too!).The perception of you average bogue that young Asian Woman have is um not good too say the least from what i was told,ha ha dont know what she saw in me.

3 06 2010
miss dahl

For most people, status and money are actually quite difficult to achieve (and I don’t mean by bogan standards – ouwardly glitzy, inwardly empty). Working for status amd money is everything when you want a comfortable later life. The earlier one starts, the better the chances, all going well. Having “fun” is definitely subjective and different for most – and is secondary. You can have your fun at any age, but truly rewarding job opportunities aren’t so easy to come by- gotta grab ‘em when you can – that is my first hand experience. Sounds like she wanted to get the hard stuff out of the way whilst she was young and had the time and energy. Who wants to be chasing the jobs and the money in middle age or beyond? There’s plenty of time to have fun when you’ve reached a state of comfort, financially and emotionally. Now that the lecture is done, I reckon she probably saw something in you that was worth the pause.

3 06 2010
brad

Not everyone has the nous or disipline too make hay while the sun shines(me included) but i have no regrets about this and it is possible too work smarter when your older and have fond memories of a mispent youth(it is wasted on the young though),but like my parents did i will endevour too teach my munchicans the value of getting ahead early and then its up too them(a little financial help can help set the right tone)…thanks for the reckoning.

2 06 2010
??

every asian chick i have ever met (and i have met alot). wants the above. there is no way a bogan can provide. only ex hookers who hook up with old bogan divorcees, settle

2 06 2010
James Hunter

Shirl, be reasonable, all men like any hot chick !

2 06 2010
Brimstone

i always thought this was a geek thing
i mean… also a bogan thing. but geeks fetishize Japan already, and they’ve always fefishized Asian women

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Yeah it’s also a geek thing. Hence the Weezer lyric ‘goddam you half Japanese girls, you do it to me every time…’

2 06 2010
SD

And of course there is John Safran who took an excruciatingly long time to tell us he really really digs Eurasians.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Is John Safran a geek? I think he’s more of a nerd. Geeks have more sex appeal.

2 06 2010
SD

Sex appeal apart, I thought nerds also had a thing for Asian women?

2 06 2010
Shirley M

I guess it brings us back to the point I’ve already made that all manner of dudes (except the gay ones) have a thing for hot asian chicks.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I thought geeks and nerds were the same Shirl?

I’m a nerd…I’m heaps sexy. ;)

2 06 2010
vivisection

I think geeks play with computers and nerds play dungeons and dragons. But what would I know? I may be way off the mark..

2 06 2010
pb

wrong way around.

2 06 2010
Brimstone

nerds are smarter. geeks have more social skills/wider interests
i know fuck all about computers, but i’m a geek
Rivers Cumo from Weezer – ditto

2 06 2010
pb

i always understood it that nerds were the smarter ones and geeks – also smarter than average – were the ones obsessed with role playing games and the like. basically librarian = nerd, sci fi convention attendee = geek.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Nope. It all has to do with the smarter than average persons ability to interact with others. See very insightful link below.

3 06 2010
pb

well by either definition i’m a nerd.

5 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Brimstone, do you look like James Dean?

5 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinky can not look like James Dean. Brimstone is alive.

Ha de Ha

2 06 2010
Shirley M

This clearly explains the difference:

I’m a geek.

2 06 2010
James

Yay! I’m a nerd.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Me geek!

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I’m a nerd!! WOOT.

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

ugh!
safran!
love safran, i pinched a torrent of race relations to watch on the road. Not his best work certainly imho,sat down to watch it one lazy day and the torrent was missing the final episode. Gutted. Waded thru all that bollock just to see him crucified and then missed it. Now i have to buy the dvd.
a cautionary tale kinders; video piracy robs viewers of their rightful closure.

2 06 2010
SD

IMO the series where he went and removed the curse on the Socceroos was gold. And the one where he was black Mr Safran was somehow cringeworthy and thoughtful.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I love all his stuff. I have the complete collection. Still looking for “race around the world”.

HI CHUBBY!! How’s Edna?

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

Hi P!nky.
Edna is effing red hot!
we have such a smooth groove…
She specifically instructs me to pass on her most sincere regards. She also says she misses your input? And blah blah, chick stuff… Now she’s talking about her friend Holly. women. have you seen that ad with the guy and his wife fishing? some US thing, anyway…
where was I?
oh safran.
count me in on the ouerve of the whiny one. loved “jamboree”. I saw RatW when it first went to air. david ceaser killed john safran. He should have won. the second season was a dud; no safran. hope he becomes a denton

2 06 2010
devil's advocate

China, but only because of sheer numbers – in a normal distribution (or indeed any distribution) you will get more total outliers, and the most extreme outliers will be further above the mean.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

You’re a day early, by the way TBL, and thus have upset my equilibrium.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Same here, Shirl. For one horrible, horrible moment, I thought I’d lost a day and missed a crucial deadline.

2 06 2010
vivisection

I was planning to do some work today! damn

2 06 2010
Dennis

Volume 3 is clearly the best. And the bogue clearly prefers South Korean girls due to the high proportion of them that have had plastic surgery thus increasing their hotness and alluding to self esteem issues. Hot Asian Chicks + self esteem issues = Bogan prey

2 06 2010
Tombarina

I’ve had the exceedingly dubious pleasure of hearing half-witted expats working in Asian countries conduct SWOT analyses on nationalities.

Forget Chinese and Korean – they’re charmingly referred to as “frying-pan face” on the basis of flatter features. Japanese women are “up ‘emselves”, there appears to be no capacity to differentiate between Malay, Singaporean and Vietnamese.

Thais are perceived as the hottest – and obedient, the way proper hot chicks should be.

Asian women in general are referred to as “bowls of rice”, but you’ve got to keep them in their place.

“Give ‘em an inch,” mused one expat mental giant, accurately assessing the dimensions of his willy, but mostly regarding his PA – a woman with degrees in business and international relations, who speaks four languages and has worked and studied around the world. What a fulfilled little bowl of rice she must be….

2 06 2010
miss dahl

Amusing is that male bogan belief that “obedience” is the preferred default for the female, Asian or not. The actual inability to challenge the bogan isn’t obedience – looks more like brain damage to me.

2 06 2010
Glass 'em all

Caused by one too many donkey punches.

2 06 2010
vivisection

I can’t speak for the asian woman / white male relationship, but I know several gay male relationships of Rice Queen and Asian partner. Interestingly the assumptions are the same – that the Asian partner is submissive and shy. Until you actually meet them and talk about it. Most of the younger Asian guys I have known are clearly ruling the roost in the relationship. As an object of desire, they play this card to their advantage. A phrase used is “raising the bamboo curtain” – which is putting up the wall of silence / distance, a very effective, passive /aggressive method of control.

My mother used to work with the Philippino Mail Order Bride community in Nth QLD many years ago – lonely old farmers, young asian hotties. Anyway these women used to tell my mother all their little secrets such as pissing in the food, spitting in the food etc. God bless ‘em.

I think we don’t give them enough credit – they put up with these deadsh#t men that no-one else would tolerate. Good on them for getting the hell out with a bit of money in their pockets and the knowledge that some dirty old fool ate their piss for 5 years!

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Pissing in the food! Love it! The poor things would have to put aside their extensive culinary knowledge to cook these boring c*nts steak and eggs, too, so I can see how it would be important to them to add a bit of their own ‘flavour’.

2 06 2010
miss dahl

Sad that people feel the need to be a stereotype. Is it a conscious choice or just bad judgement?

2 06 2010
vivisection

I don’t know if it is that they need to be a stereotype, or if westerners assume their own cultural understanding of a particular behaviour applies to other cultures. ie. quiet = submissive asian, not being a shouty boguette = obedient asian etc. Maybe we just use racist stereotypes to explain their behaviour because its “easier” than geting to know people from different cultures.

2 06 2010
TheMon

Hahaha! Vivisection you crack me up.

2 06 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

Most Anglo chicks are jealous of Asian chicks.

2 06 2010
miss dahl

Really? How so?

2 06 2010
Jaydyn

They’re deemed to be more feminine, both physically and mentally, than the average Stryan knuckle dragging female bouge.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

You think ? I take it you have never actually travelled in Asia then…practical wear is the order of the day and the only “Sexy” are the hookers.

2 06 2010
Jaydyn

Let me refine that to Asians living in western nations.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Not that I entirely agree with Jaydyn’s statement, I think the essence of it transcends what kind of clothes they wear.

2 06 2010
Nelson Esq

Asian chicks seem to keep their youthful complexion for longer. White chicks age quicker and get wrinkles much earlier…

2 06 2010
big_baggies

ummm, no they dont….

2 06 2010
Will S

And let’s not forget the tuckshop lady arms!

2 06 2010
Shirley M

I actually have some Chinese blood in my veins, and it saddens me that it’s not enough to grant me the enviable asian gorgeous hair and dainty feet. On the other side of the coin however, watch any manga film and notice just how western the asian chicks in these films are.

2 06 2010
Sibyl Ince

Shirl you can have dainty feet. All you have to do is break those little toesies bones and bend em back under your foot. Tie a metre of ‘strapping’ around it for a year, et voila, le petite tootsies.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

I could do that, but I want dainty feet, not f*cked up mangled feet. Besides, I really don’t want them that badly. I just think dainty little asian ladies are the only ones who look good in pointy toed stilettos.

2 06 2010
miss dahl

Shirley M, you know that you can capitalise on what you already have by getting weekly pedicures and wearing beautiful shoes. Hint: spindly, strappy stilettos will make feet look bigger. They only look good on 7 stone petite skinnies like SJP. Anyone else has to wear more substantial footwear. Check this out as a guide: http://www.couturesnob.com/shoes

2 06 2010
vivisection

or follow the old school drag queen rules – only ever wear beige shoes, they make your feet look more petit!

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Just to make it clear, everyone, I don’t have giant feet, ok? They are quite average, size 8 feet.

2 06 2010
vivisection

Sure, of course you Sasquatch, I mean Shirley :)

2 06 2010
vivisection

That should have been “of course you do…”

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Shut up Viv! My feet are f*cking hot! Don’t make me get all touchy and self defensive on you, you bitch!

2 06 2010
miss dahl

See, I knew we’d get you to feel good about your feet!

2 06 2010
2 06 2010
Shirley M

I swear that’s NOT me! I swear it!

2 06 2010
vivisection

Tip toe through the tulips…..

2 06 2010
vivisection

It’s alright Shirley, nothing a maxi skirt can’t cover. No need to be ashamed. Big Feet = Big Heart….

2 06 2010
Tombarina

So many upsides, Shirl.
Enhanced stability in gusty conditions, or when pissed, for example.
On the offchance that you decide to trek across the tundra, no need for snowshoes…

2 06 2010
Shirley M

*off to buy maxi skirts and beige shoes*

2 06 2010
pb

nothing an eye catching top or hat/headdress can’t distract from.

2 06 2010
vivisection

perhaps a pretty brooch? or a 2nd head?

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Ok you f*ckers. That’s enough of making fun of my imaginarily hideously gigantic feet. ;-)

2 06 2010
pb

i was thinking an enormous hat complete with flashing lights. i used to draw these really elaborate hats in high school – complete with fountains, ferris wheels, and rollercoasters – i’m sure if i could make one of them everyone would be looking at your head and not your feet.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Goddamnit there’s nothing wrong with my feet!

But if there were, I’d be very pleased to know so many helpful and innovative people.

But there’s not!

2 06 2010
TheMon

Really Tracy? Is that why so many Asian women have surgery just to make their eyes look western? Pffffft.

2 06 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

Don’t take it to heart Anglo chicks, you can’t help it if your uglier than them. For me, Tongan woman are the bomb, you dig.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

the size of some Tongan women I gues for you it IS a case of “you dig”

2 06 2010
pb

classy as usual from you.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

and have an obsession with whitening products that makes our tan product fixation look non existant

2 06 2010
Tombarina

*non existant*

And also, apparently bereft of appropriate hyphenation and spelling.

2 06 2010
James

It would take quite an effort to make the bogan obsession with tanning products look insignificant. Also, that trend is not as wide as you seem to believe…

2 06 2010
SD

I think you will find that whitening products are more common amongst arriviste Asians than any sensible ones. Kind of like tanning here.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

BB,
have you tried the anal whitner? it would improove your outlook a whole lot.
BAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHAAAHAHAHAAHAHA ( Apologies to Pinky)

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

No worries JH. BAHAHAHA away particularly @ BB :)

2 06 2010
vivisection

I cant remember who said this in another post a few months ago, but it has stuck in my mind and is quite poignant for today’s topic.

“Tiny hand make little dick look big”

Ps Whoever you are, sorry if I have not quoted you correctly.

2 06 2010
Benjamin

It must have been hunter.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

what have i done now(or then)?

2 06 2010
Benjamin

Nothing, sir.

I see Sybil has admitted to it below – for some reason I thought ’twas you.

2 06 2010
Sibyl Ince

““Tiny hand make little dick look big”

Twas I.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

geee…and your not racist…amazing!

2 06 2010
Will S

*you’re

2 06 2010
SD

I guess there is a difference between hot Asian chicks who are Australian i.e. brought up here and who arrive here by way of marriage/relationship. Asians brought up here may well marry bogans without it being an unequal relationship or bogans being spurned as in the TBL post (but it was funny I grant!).

From our travels we noticed that similar to prejudices everywhere there is actually a bit of stigma to having a relationship with a Westerner amongst Asians – even in a country like Thailand. So Sibyl Ince up there, having a half Western baby is definitely not an aspirational thing. It also never ceases to amaze me that people who otherwise sound reasonable have such views on different cultures. People are not that different you know-even a “half Western” baby is going to share pretty much the same genes as the rest of humanity.

PSL: Vivisection been meaning to ask this but keep forgetting – is your TBL screen name a nod to the Patrick White novel?

2 06 2010
vivisection

No, Vivisection is just a throwback from my very first email account from about 12 years ago – I just liked the translation from Latin “to dissect the living”. Its seemed appropriate for a site like this, which dissects the bogan culture. I also collect antique medical surgical equipment – “gruel tools”, and am fascinated by ye olde surgery etc which is also a form of vivisection. But I’m not into supporting animal cruelty. :)

2 06 2010
SD

Thanks for the explanation!

I need to change mine to something more interesting :-)

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

You should let us choose your new name SD :D

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I love ye olde medicine too. “Gruel tools” are so disturbing…but you can’t look away.

3 06 2010
Natlee

SD, I have the fortune/misfortune to live in the bogan paradise that is Thailand, and would have to disagree about the half western baby thing in this country. In the Thai entertainment industry, a large percentage of singers/actors/models are leuk krueng (half white/half Thai). They are definitely viewed as more attractive, talented and intelligent. If you’re born to a mixed race couple, you’re basically a shoe-in to become famous here.

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

That’s quite true Natlee. Embarrassing as it is, I am pretty sure there is a significant section of Asia that sees some aspects of white people (for lack of a better term) like a fair skin, larger eyes as ideal. But I am not sure its an aspirational thing. I have Thai friends – the middle class professional type – and many of them are actually quite conservative. This is not to say they will not marry a Westerner, just that it’s not an aspiration.

Also perhaps behind the adoration for these celebrities its all a little complex – I am not sure if you have read authors like Rattawut Lapcharoensap-some of the stories capture the mixture of allure and self-loathing that exists in – and towards – mixed race Thais.

Also I don’t condone ideas of race in the East. I think one has to evolve beyond that. I just wrote my comment because a few posters seem to think that for the East everything Western is an ideal which is not the case.

3 06 2010
Natlee

South Dakota, that’s certainly true that not everything Western is the ideal in Asia. I think Westerners (at least here in Thailand) are often looked down on as hot-headed, boorish oafs, and certainly none of the bogues who fly to the country of Phuket are doing anything to dispel this notion. And also very true that marrying a Westerner is not an aspiration of middle or upper class Thais. To make a broad, sweeping generalisation, I would say that it’s more an aspiration of the poorer girls from the north-east.

I will try to find some Rattawut Lapcharoensap. Sounds interesting, thanks for the tip.

3 06 2010
SD

My pleasure Natlee, my friends gave the book to me and I quite enjoyed it.

The bogues are certainly visible but I am certain there are many Aussies like yourself who have a genuine interest and understanding of SE Asia so hopefully it will all balance!

2 06 2010
JimC

The guy next door to me (who is a total mongrel, by the way) had a Filipino wife 20 years younger than him.

She seemed very nice whenever I spoke to her but she went back home after some (alleged) domestic violence incidents.

So now the miserable old prick is on his own and has to fend for himself. Hah!!

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Today’s tags are effing brilliant. Bogans, hot asian chicks, will not obtain. Gotta love a concise truth.

2 06 2010
Bing Lai

You want Suckee Suckee, $2 dolla, me love you long time.

2 06 2010
vivisection

Margaret Cho does the best “Suckee Suckee, 2 Dolla” I have ever seen.

2 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yep pretty good but Cartmans is also maxxtreme. By the way how do you post a youtube like that?

2 06 2010
vivisection

I just cut and paste from the address bar and it worked – although i now look clever, i had no idea if it would work and risked looking like a damned fool!

2 06 2010
Rudolf Belka

Ah what else could the bogan want, after watching movies starring Lucy Liu and Devon Aoki, and of course staring at Tila Tequila.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

amazing how what society deems “hot asian chicks” in the media are usually a good amount of white too.Without that they would just be another smack head in an endless sea of billions of smack heads.At least white women have a large variation of colours and shades….

2 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

*Glass, Glass, Glass*

2 06 2010
Shirley M

You’ve crawled all the way down this page, leaving your ignorant mark all over the place, and for the life of me, I have no idea what your argument is. You reek of white supremacist moron to me.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

simple really…name an Asian woman that western men deem hot who isnt part white, or as white as she is Asian…..or one who looks “truly” Asian, typically Asian, not a”white Asian” hybrid.

2 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Seriously TBL can we get rid of BB. No one needs this.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

hard to face the truth isnt it ?

Amazing how sexually deorgatory many of the “pro” posts are but your all so blinded by your “intellectualism” you cant see it….

2 06 2010
James

“Truth”? You take the two examples posted above, and generalise this into these posts?

“At least white women have a large variation of colours and shades”. Am I to take it that you have never heard of Indonesia? Or are not aware of the vast difference between a Sri Lankan, a Balinese, a Javanese, a Uighur, and Han Chinese, and a Vietnamese?

What a bizarre world you must live in, big_baggies. I pity you.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

there is not a wide range or variation of shades between ALL those people.A wide variation in looks and that is about it……99% will have black hair and dark eyes.

2 06 2010
James

That is not what you said before, and I believe this is an attempt to salvage what is a very stupid thing to say. In any case, so what? Is beauty and variation confined entirely to hair and eyes now?

2 06 2010
Benjamin

Thats simplifying things a bit too much, baggies. So what if many do have dark eyes or black hair? There are other ways in which they differ.

If you’ve never been around been around people of other races for a decent length of time, especially if they have marked racial differences (such as the obvious differences between “asian” and “caucasian”), the large differences will overpower the small differences in your mind, and you will seem them as all alike.

The same is true in the other direction. Some folks from Africa may well think the same about white Australians.

To me all Elephants look alike*. However, if I was a zoo keeper, I’d have no trouble discerning differences between them. Me, I just see that they all have big ears and trunks, which distracts from the smaller things that differentiate each individual. Does that make sense?

I’ve spent much time with and around SE Asian folk, and they sure don’t look all alike to me. They are just as diverse as the white people, you probably just are not seeing it. James is spot on.

* not trying to compare anyone to Elephants here! Just an extreme example to demonstrate.

2 06 2010
SD

Judging from Big Baggies many contributions, including on pedophilia down below I am not sure one can engage in a sane conversation here but I applaud you gentlemen for trying :-)

2 06 2010
devil's advocate

The han chinese look way different to just about every other ethnicity in china, even from an outsider’s perspective. Also the people from the south of china are about the whitest people on the planet, so I dunno what crackheads on here are going on about when comparing to bogues or drawing distinctions between asian and white. Most Australian bogans are positively dark compared to some southern chinese I’ve met.

2 06 2010
James

Agreed DA. I find b_b’s analysis quite perplexing.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Benji

**Round of Applause**

Well said.

2 06 2010
miss dahl

So???

2 06 2010
miss dahl

That was directed @ BBs …”A wide variation in looks and that is about it……99% will have black hair and dark eyes”.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

so next thing we get to the oldest example of stupidity:
all asians have dark eyes and dark straight hair, therefor all people with dark eyes and dark srtraight hair must be asian ?
crap

2 06 2010
James Hunter

BB,
at a guess you know nothing about sexuality or intelectualism.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ( Apologies to Pinky))

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Simon -GAA
I second that motion TBL

2 06 2010
Shirley M

I’m sorry, but I don’t know all their names. There’s a lot of asian women in the world, and I’m yet to meet them all. Your suggestion that an asian has got to have a bit of white in her to be hot is f*cking ludicrous. You really are a stupid bigot.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

Cant you read or something Shirley ??
I never said an Asian woman “had to have white in her”….to be hot
I said this seems to be the qualifying factor for what is called “hot” in Asian women as the list of “hot asian women” above shows.Do you ever see a strongly Asian featured woman being worshipped by the Western media ? A typocal Cambodian, Malaysian or chinese ?? Nooooo….it is always the half Japanese/half Dutch or half Chinese/half English etc

2 06 2010
Shirley M

‘name an Asian woman that western men deem hot who isnt part white, or as white as she is Asian’

I can read perfectly.

2 06 2010
SD

Maybe you can read Gong Li or Zhang Ziyi’s imdb board.

2 06 2010
devil's advocate

SD (12:40:14) said: Maybe you can read Gong Li or Zhang Ziyi’s imdb board.

Ding!

2 06 2010
SD

Gong Li is the only woman I would turn for. But I have to get in line behind Mr SD. Goddess.

2 06 2010
vivisection

Masako Natsume (chinese name Xuanzang) – played Tripitaka in Monkey – HOT!

2 06 2010
big_baggies

You recon?I remember back in the day EVERYONE thought she was a boy for years and the media had to report it was in fact a girl! because so many thought it was a fella….hahaha

2 06 2010
vivisection

and this isn’t hot because?

2 06 2010
James

That says more about your concept of “everyone” than anything else.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

says much more about your concept of “hot”

2 06 2010
James

As it happens, I do not even know who we are talking about. I was merely commenting on what the caliber of your circle of acquaintances must be.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Talk about dragging up the past BB. Who the f@@k cares? Oh you do…but you’re stupid so it doesn’t count. Some of us here are really bored by the likes of you.

We don’t care about what you think BB. Really we don’t because if we wanted xenophobic, white supremacist attitudes, we’d go on the HS forum.

So crawl back under you HSV Dunny-door and shut up.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

you just bitched an asian woman out with all the cliches known to man so shut your guts

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Bite me BB, you’re so full of shit. Now your asian…please.

Plus, I didn’t say anything about Asians, you really need to work on your English comprehension, you moron.

2 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Pissing into a hurricane Pinky.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

Where the hell do you come up with this stuff ?? “Now YOUR Asian” ummmmm…where ????
If you’re going to attack someones “english comprehension” it would REALLY pay to adhere to this yourself…..”your IS NOT you’re”…Comprehend?

halfwit

btw…I was’nt addressing you as you are well aware, you barged in well after…turnip

2 06 2010
big_baggies

PINKY
Where the hell do you come up with this stuff ?? “Now YOUR Asian” ummmmm…where ????
If you’re going to attack someones “english comprehension” it would REALLY pay to adhere to this yourself…..”your IS NOT you’re”…Comprehend?

halfwit

btw…I was’nt addressing you as you are well aware, you barged in well after…turnip

2 06 2010
big_baggies

“Dragging up the past”

you’re an idiot..it was the subject you faff head

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ BB

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2 06 2010
big_baggies

I just googled it and loads of people are saying the same thing “I never knew if it was a boy or girl” so pretty ‘ey?

2 06 2010
vivisection

They said that about Boy George and David Bowie, didn’t stop millions of boys and girls having crushes.

2 06 2010
pb

considering the character she played was male that isn’t evidence that she wasn’t beautiful.
and talking of other beautiful asian women, ever seen aishwarya rai?

2 06 2010
SD

Not to forget Freida Pinto – who in fact is quite dark as opposed to Aishwarya.

2 06 2010
pb

yes – couldn’t remember her name so didn’t mention her, but she’s gorgeous.

2 06 2010
devil's advocate

Only because it’s a fun game…

Ziyi Zhang, Gong Li, (in her younger days) Michelle Yeo, and…

my current partner.

Could name many more but don’t want to have to take a cold shower in the middle of the day.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

da,
i think a hot shower is what you need

2 06 2010
pb

how could i have forgotten to name natasha khan! http://urbantakeout.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/natashakhan1.jpg

2 06 2010
brad

All the woman on monkey were hot,unfortunatly all their affections were directed toward a female masqurading as a chaste male, if only they could see beyond the gruff exterior of Pigsy their yearnings would have been returned in bountiful quantities.Poor Pigsy.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I love Monkey. I even own some of it.

I love Pigsy. Poor dude. His ears were awesome. :D

3 06 2010
brad

the first Pigsy was better but they were both endearing swine.Do you own some dvd’s or the actual copyright..?

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Brad

The First one is my fave. The second one I dunno, the character was awesome still, but alas it’s not the pigsy I have as a Facebook photo. ;)

I own a few of the seasons on DVD. I wish I owned the rights! That would be awesome.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

**not have, had.

4 06 2010
brad

Maybe one day Pinky you will(pigsy as your fb photo-that is hilarious, guess you would avoid cyber stalkers). Would love too get a hold of some dvd’s where did you get thm from?

6 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

“brad (18:24:25) :

Maybe one day Pinky you will (pigsy as your fb photo-that is hilarious, guess you would avoid cyber stalkers). Would love too get a hold of some dvd’s where did you get them from?”

Brad, I googled it. I’ve mainly got them from Honkers, when it come’s to weird shit on DVD they are your peeps. I can’t remember the website.

6 06 2010
brad

Thanks Pinky i did google it and after looking through chimp doco’s and old Davey Jones clips found plenty of sellers on ebay,setting wheels in motion as we speak.P>S i think “Steining-up” is always a good move,my youngest is “Steined” (as in Frankensteins Monster).

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

you just never cease to amaze.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

chubby,
thank you must say it just came to me and couldnt resist posting it.
It was like he was leading with his chin !

2 06 2010
miss dahl

Mwaaahaaahhaaaa, I’d like to see said bogan male tackle the likes of O-ran Ishii…

2 06 2010
vivisection

or Chiaki Kuriyama who played Gogo in Kill Bill

2 06 2010
vivisection

or Meiko Kaji who played Lady Snowblood – HOT!

2 06 2010
vivisection
2 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv ,is it the girl or the blood that winds your clock ?

2 06 2010
vivisection

Actually its just a great 1970’s film and there is spectacular scene of her holding a parasol in one hand and slaughtering the men who raped her mother with the other. Lucy Liu’s character in Kill Bill was based on Lady Snowblood.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
appologies I was just taking the piss a bit. You are right though she is hot. not a hot as Nigella Lawson or Joanna Greig though Or Jana Wendt in her day

2 06 2010
vivisection

No need to apologise! But i think you will find this chick out of Tokyo Gore Police much hotter than Nigella Lawson.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
sweet.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@JH

Johanna Grigg, please do not tell me you think that woman is attractive? Moronic and tedious, yes, attractive, no

I’m jealous of Nigella, she can cook bakery treats out of a brick and has a great body. And Mr Pinky’s heart…:(

2 06 2010
James Hunter

Well Pinky,
Its the body, not the face or brain !
Wheras as Mr Pinky would attest Nigella has “the works” like a maxtreme hamburger !
The body ,the face and the voice plus attitude in spades.Oh and she can cook !!

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH
:(

I forgive you for the johanna Griggs thing. Only because it’s superficial. There are dudes that I just want to look at, not talk to, just look at…

Nigella is an uber-babe. I would rather Mr Pinky lusted over Nigella than one of those bimbo-bogettes.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

I was at a function attended by Ms Grigg last year and, although she was very pleasant, I felt quite afraid.

She’s built like the brick proverbial, and has startlingly enormous teeth. I mean REALLY big. She’s like a giant, blonde Osmond.

2 06 2010
JimC

Even hotter, when she was in those awesome FEMALE CONVICT SCORPION movies.

Yeah!!

2 06 2010
Yellow Fever

Hmm, not sure where to stand on this one. After all, according to the reverse-blog of TBL’s writers:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/20/11-asian-girls/

Just read this entry for the first time. I’m convinced that our one is funnier. TBL

2 06 2010
Nelson Esq

and TBL doesn’t claim that Sandra Oh is hot, when she is definitely not hot.

The hottest Asian chick on the telly (and she’s only half Asian) is the girl who was in Lipstick Jungle and is now pooping up on ads for a series about the Witches of Eastwick. Mmm mmm…. *licks lips*

2 06 2010
Emma

Paedophilia in disguise.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

Ive seen men with women who have the exact same body of a prepubescent 11 year old, it always looks very, very wrong……You do have to wonder.

2 06 2010
Jaydyn

You sound like one of those ‘real women’, who’d probably say the same thing about a guy dating a girl who’s under a size 14. He must be gay, or a secret paedo.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

not quite

but I have seen men of 6 foot with their little asian brides all of four foot nothing, baby boobs and barely 30kg to their frame…yes, it is disturbing.The reality is some of those woman are smaller than an average western 10 year old and the fact grown men are with them IS a bit off….

2 06 2010
Tombarina

So, BFFJ, what is the appropriate male/female height/weight ratio?

And congratulations on your groundbreaking research in this field – I’m sure your academic peers at Rooty Hill TAFE are proud.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
more likely she has one of those “qualifications” that one gets by mail order from some unknown USA “University” The sort where the level of difficulty is the depth of your bank account.About all they be good for is if you want to preform surgery in Bundaberg Hospital !

2 06 2010
big_baggies

no one mentioned “research:”you silly leftist :)

2 06 2010
Tombarina

BFFJ, look to your left and you’ll see Ann Coulter enjoying a nice comparatively-leftie cuppa with Attila the Hun.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

Dont know who you are calling leftist but lets face it that would include almost every one. From my point of view the further left of you that i could get the better.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

JH, let’s not give BFFJ that much credit.

In fact, I’m inclined to cut off the oxygen supply, too.

That particular poster is too dumb to be amusing and too willfully ignorant to be pitiable.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

never said it was researchd

2 06 2010
reparty

My mother, in her job as a welfare officer for an Italian pension fund, got a whole family of Wogans offside. Turns out the old dude, after years of being alone, met a nice lady through an agency who just happened to not be Italian, but from a more tropical clime. He dies, she gets pension. Simple? Nope, they went to the ends of the earth the make sure that this poor woman got nothing. Thanks to my mum and a nice lady lawyer friend of hers, they didn’t succeed.

And it’s not Asian Slutmaxx…..it’s Me So Asian volumes 1-15.

2 06 2010
Rudolf Belka

Shirley- this guy is an apologist for racism. He comes from the antibogan boards.

2 06 2010
Rudolf Belka

*big_baggies.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

rudolf..im surprised you have any spare time with all the sperm gargling you do :)

2 06 2010
James

How quickly the incorrect descend into insults.

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

bravo james
the last intellectual refuge of the moron

2 06 2010
big_baggies

amazing how bloodybchubby fart is first cab off the rank considering his spray weeks ago…in that case you leftists were the first to descend into the “wrong”…..

2 06 2010
James

Who are you calling a leftist?

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

You James…because BB is Stupid.

Why do we interact with these people…

3 06 2010
James

I really wonder Pinky.

I have marked yesterday in my calendar though. It is not very often that I get called a leftist. I regularly get called a Nazi, but leftist is very rare.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ James

We’re okay James. I’m a lefty and I’m okay…aren’t I?

I’m not sure how we disagree on most points James. I agree with nearly all you points.

Maybe your a closet lefty James?

Maybe you should come and see me and we can talk about your repression issues.

I bulk bill. ;)

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Not surprised one bit. However, I am of the belief that Big Baggies, formerly known as ‘Big Fat Floppy Jaloppies’ is a woman. Or probably more precisely, a skank.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Or Wilson Tuckey.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Ha! Indeed that’s possible too.

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

or david oldfield

2 06 2010
devil's advocate

Suggesting that someone is Wilson Tuckey does not exclude the possibility that they are a dried up old woman, or a skank. Hence, the “or” in front of Wilson Tuckey is misplaced.

2 06 2010
Pandabater

I’ve warned you people before, don’t argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Panda

The voice of reason!!

2 06 2010
Cleveland Brown

Hot Asian chicks are probably good at math but still stupid

2 06 2010
Tombarina

How unpredictable that the math thingie would rear up. But I’m (marginally) ashamed to say I laughed at this:

2 06 2010
James Hunter

CB,
all this prooves is that you are stupid

2 06 2010
devil's advocate

I often disagree with many of the things posted on TBL, and have voiced these disagreements on a number of occasions.

On this occasion, however, I struggle with the specificity of the observation. Indulge me for a moment here:

I understand fully that the bogan is seemingly oblivious to the sheer idiocy of opposing immigration but at the same time availing themselves of all the benefits (in particular the food! See “overseas day”).

I would also put it to you that for the bogan, most self-respecting “hot chicks” are going to be out of their league, and the inevitable rejection will engender some degree of resentment – to the point where a previously identified “hot chick” will miraculously transform into a “slapper” or {derogatory term for same-sex oriented female] subsequent to their rebuffing the bogan’s clumsy advances. All those things are fine and totally independent of race.

However, this is where the idea breaks down. All guys dig hot chicks. Unless you are some kind of racist, it matters not where they come from. South America, US, India or even that vague concept known as “asia”, hot chicks are just hot and guys dig them.

This post firstly supposes a class of persons so wide -“asians” – as to be meaningless. Even based on the uniquely Australian meaning which excludes pakistanis and indians, “asians” can be more than a third of the planet’s population.

Then it supposes that somehow, bogans find hot asian chicks somehow more desirable than hot chicks of some other race. If anything, “asian chicks” would need to meet some higher level of “hotness” to overcome the inherent prejudice towards immigrants.

Further, being hot, hot asian chicks have far more options than to scrape the bottom of the social barrell, which in Australia is the bogan. THis is purely because they are hot, not because they are asian. So you are implicitly assuming that bogans set themselves up for failure only with respect to asian chicks.

I don’t see anything in this article that makes the logical leap that out of all the hot chicks in the world, bogans somehow go for one particular subset. There is no theory to support it and it’s not borne out in practice.

Apologies for the long post.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

The enormous amounts of asian porn downloaded by australians would perhaps be evidence of how the bogans revere this particular race of hot chick above others.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
not saying that i disagree with you but how do you know this ?

2 06 2010
Shirley M

You’d be surprised what I know JH. Particularly about porn. I read an interesting article about the types of porn most commonly downloaded in particular countries. If I get a chance later I’ll try and find it.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

evidence ?

or a guess

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Australians download a large amount of asian porn. Fact. That doesn’t take into account DVD and magazine sales, and, by having a look at the shelves at a sex shop, I can make an educated guess that asian porn sells well in these formats too. PERHAPS the prevalence of asian porn in Australian society indicates that of all the races, asians are most revered sexually by Australian men.

3 06 2010
big_baggies

funny how mens mags are chock full of white girls then isnt it ?? Considering Asians sell so well……never se an asian on a mens mag cover and if you do it is VERY rare.ID say your “educated guess” is being made via your own ideals.
If Australian men revered Asians as much as you think then they would be on every cover and those mags would be brimming with them….their not.

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Listen sweetheart. I can guarantee you I know more about this than you do. In your case however, that statement would probably apply to absolutely any topic.

It’s a niche market, you moron. I’m not going to argue it with you any further.

2 06 2010
James Hunter

da,
i suspect that you are embarassed by your own feelings towards asian chicks ?

2 06 2010
Steve

You left out the word “hot”

3 06 2010
devil's advocate

Nup. I dig hot asian chicks. Not embarrassed to say it.

In the same way I dig any hot chicks.

I’m an equal-opportunity chauvanist pig.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Well-argued, DA, but in the case of the Ozbogue, I disagree.

Perhaps Nth American rednecks covet hot Latino chicks, or German assclowns hanker after hot Spanish chicks, but our homegrown rascals definitely have a bee in their bonnet about hot Asian chicks.

Perhaps it’s about familiarity – to quote Dr H. Lecter: “We covet what we see everyday.”

4 06 2010
Laura

L0L. This is on the money; TBL; smack bang on it!

I’m a half Asian, half white chick, so I’m something of an authority on the matter, and I can say quite wholeheartedly that he-bogues fecking L0VE ME. UGH.

Ugh.

‘Tis doubtless a not insignificant part of what drove me to discovering this most excellent bogue bashing place in cyberspace, the unsolicited advances of the amorous bogans in my midst.

Unfortunately, I live in Boganville/Woganville, nestled snugly along the Bogan Belt of the northern suburbs of Melbourne. I can’t step out the frickin’ door without being hit on, whistled at, ogled, by fucking B0GANS. Too add insult to injury, I’m slim with a natural C cup, so most of the ogling is aimed in that general vicinity.

Granted, I do look mixed, but I think my Asianity is apparent enough, and this post is as accurate as ever. Pat yourselves on the back, TBL lads/ladies!! (Which is it, incidentally? I’ve always intuited the former…am I right? 0r is it top secret? *pout* C’mon, I’m curious! Also….are any of you hot? Irrelevant, yes, impertinent, too. But just wondering. I’m already smitten with the minds behind these posts, and can’t help but be curious about such trivialities, then. I hope that doesn’t make me a shallow bogan! *wince*)

I digress. Yes….bogans do covet us, and while the ogling, come-ons and horn honking Commodores are bad enough, it TURNS MY TUMMY to hear the occasional “Me love you longtime!” ejaculated from the sailor’s mouth of a chauv-bogue and his leering mates. 0r worse…”two buck for fuck!” that a bogan once shouted at me when I was 15 years old and walking to school. Made me afraid to walk to school for a very long time. Funnily enough.

They need to be glassed good. The lot of ‘em.

4 06 2010
Laura

0h, darn. That was not supposed to be in response to the fabulous Tombarina, but rather, just my two cents on the article in general.

To Tombarina, I was going to say that it’s been my observation that white American men covet Asian chicks even more than they lust after hot Latinas. And even more than the Ausbogue desires hot Asian chicks.

In addition, I have the misfortune to have met tons of Yankee soldiers while in Seoul last year, and they actually did confirm that they get terrible “yellow fever” and fancied “eating Chinese” over even “hot Mexi vertical taco”, any day of the week.

They’re a class act, the Yankee soldiers in Korea.

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Of course these kids are hot Laura, except peter and BB. :D

Welcome aboard, look forward to your insights.

4 06 2010
devil's advocate

“Unfortunately, I live in Boganville/Woganville, nestled snugly along the Bogan Belt of the northern suburbs of Melbourne. ”

You mean Toorak?

2 06 2010
SD

Possibly because they are a more visible minority? Accounting of course for the fact that “Asians” is a rather broad Australia specific term and there are plenty of differences within the group.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

True. But we’re only talking about the hot ones.

2 06 2010
SD

Proportionally it may still be high :-)

Agree with the hot Latina analogy by the way – there is always a construct of hotness around women who are different and yet sort of familiar either due to proximity or numbers.

2 06 2010
Steve

Yeah, it’s been known for for centuries that that penises aren’t racist. People shouldn’t be fooled by what they may have read in a John Mayer interview. He’s got a lot of problems.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/john-mayer-calls-his-penis-a-white-supremacist-in-playboy/story-e6frfn09-1225829050889

2 06 2010
SD

That did touch a raw nerve didn’t it. Lots of debate over at Jezebel on whether black women and Asian men face a similar situation in inter racial dating.

Though sweet Roger Ebert did raise a spirited defense of black girls. And I think the consensus was Meyer was a douchebag with a lovely voice :-)

2 06 2010
Steve

Maybe’s he’s just misunderstood and most things he say are with is tongue (or something) in his cheek.

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

Yes a foot of the mythic proportions being attributed to poor Shirl in some upward thread :-)

2 06 2010
devil's advocate

How come my post at (13:02:29) is still awaiting moderation? TBL has never shied from criticism before, and I know it’s not to offensive judging from the other comments up here… is it too long?

2 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

perhaps when the bogue is exotically rebuffed he will inform his mates that she was a lezzie hot asian chick and they will all file it in the wank bank for the jedi wrist trick once they get home
alone.

2 06 2010
Steve

What next for an entry? Hot Black Chicks?

2 06 2010
Anonymous

Not related to this topic, but I spotted these plates on the main ebay page:

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=290440000790&Category=128286

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Tempting…but I’m holding out until SXYBTCH becomes available.

Perfect for my Excel, and it’ll look a treat amid the tropical floral decals.

3 06 2010
martin

Did anyone see the bogan, yes a full on Western Sydney forklift driving bogan, who has “BIEBER” for his number plates.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/im-a-gold-plated-bieber-fan/story-e6frfn09-1225873127769

Aww the picture of him in that article isn’t loading up for me. It really compliments the hilarity of it.

Oh, here we go:

http://www.justinbieberzone.com/2010/05/34-year-old-man-has-justin-bieber-plate-number-lisence-to-prove-that-he-is-1-fan/

LOLS.

3 06 2010
pb

the comments in the second link are hilarious, especially the girl writing in all caps with no punctuation who also gave out her email address. ninemsn’s celebrity site – which i have to admit i find like crack, so bad but so incredibly addictive – had an article on this and the comments are just as you’d expect: http://celebrities.ninemsn.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=651986&showcomments=true

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

There is a facebook group called “I used to have a voice like Justin Beiber, then I turned four”

Kind of apt.

3 06 2010
laurenbee

I too saw that and had a giggle… especially since it was on his pride and joy Holden. Although in his defense, as a storeman with the company radio inevitably tuned into 2DayFM with BoganKyle & BoganJackie O, his tiny pea brain probably heard Bieber’s songs on repeat for the entire 8hr work day and fell victim to the subliminal advertising.

Now on a completely different note I have to leave to go to the shops for the Myer Maxxtreme half yearly yet apparently biggest of the decade sale.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

TBLers, lend me your ears. For I have a question of etiquette, utterly unrelated to today’s topic, and require your input.

I have received a wedding invitation…via Facebook. The RSVP is via Facebook.

Am I just old and cranky, or is this ubertacky? I’m not a net luddite – much of my work is in the social media sphere – but have I missed something crucial in terms of societal shift? Are actual, tangible, written invitations to a black tie event passe?

Explain this to me, children. I beseech thee.

FOOTNOTE: Unfortunately, the actual nuptials are NOT being conducted in cyberspace – otherwise I’d just send them some crappy e-gifts of poker e-tokens and some Farmville e-creatures and call it an e-day.

2 06 2010
vivisection

oh that is tacky. Will she dump on Face-book in 12 months? On one hand I think the whole wedding industry is an outrageous scam and I see some benefit in not spending a grand on tacky invites, however, I do think something on paper is called for. Doesn’t need a calligrapher and gold trim, just a simple invite isn’t too much to ask. I suggest you wear the clothes you were in when you got the invite. Don’t spend a cent more on them.

2 06 2010
Pandabater

Tombarina, If your final decision is that you are angry with this person, send your RSVP via faceboook and “accidently” forward the invitation to as many drunken 16 year olds as you can find.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Vivi, I had a friend who announced she was married on FB then when she left him, that’s how she told everyone. She also has a twitter account and keeps sending me invite. I will not tweet. I am not a f@@king bird.

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Have you seen lamebook*?

The stuff on that site begs belief. What you are describing is actually pretty tame by comparison.

* I really don’t know why I keep looking up that site. Perhaps it makes me feel saner than I probably have the right to.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Tacky, and appalling. Birthday drinks – FB is fine. A BBQ, again, FB is fine. A black tie wedding – hideous. If I were in your position, I would send a very lovely RSVP card via the mail, with a wax seal on the envelope, just to make a point.

2 06 2010
Steve

That’s a tad passive aggressive. Although, it would be hilarious.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Well aggressive aggressive isn’t really an option when you’ve been invited to a nuptial. I think these days though, weddings are much more about the presents and showing off than they are about the social traditions, and a respectful RSVP card might remind the bride and groom to be of their manners.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

No need for the ‘to be’ in that last sentence. I’m sure you all figured that out already, though.

2 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I’m with Shirl.

Are these people of the bogan persuasion?

I have found FB a bit confronting of late. I found out that a friend had passed away via FB. Not sure how I feel about it. If I hadn’t been on FB, I wouldn’t have known.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

That happened to me a few months ago. Someone I hadn’t seen since high school. Still, I felt compelled to write kind, deep and spiritual sentiments on her wall, just like everyone else did. Then someone formed the group ‘Remembering the Life of ……’.

Facebook, for the most part, is an evil, evil thing. If I wasn’t so far away from most of my family and a few good friends I would shut it down.

2 06 2010
martin

The only good use I can see for facebook is to get into contact with women that I once knew that I semi want to bang. But I can’t be bothered. That and getting a list of old “friends” that I don’t see anymore because I don’t like them. Of course there’s the bogan thing where you put up a picture of yourself with your child to show the world you are successful because you had sex and had a child.

I don’t know how he did it. He got the whole non-geek/non-nerd/non-net people on there. I never thought that would happen.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

I’ve not been single since the advent of facebook and often lament that I am not able to take advantage of its ‘casual sex with hot acquaintances’ feature. Kids these days have it too good.

20 10 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

I was not aware of this feature, but I’m going to look for it now.

2 06 2010
Tombarina

WHAT??? That makes the FB wedding invite look quite considered and gracious.

I honestly thought FoBits (looky! A new word!) were only for stoned, pi$$ed dckheads who wrap a speeding stolen car around a naughty tree, and surprisingly come off second-best.

2 06 2010
big_baggies

obviously NOT a “friend” then

jesus christ!

2 06 2010
Shirley M

Everything is just so simple in your world, isn’t it?

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Shirl, don’t waste your e-breath.

BFFJ clearly has a Jones for the heady days of the White Australia policy and, worse, is banal.

Take Returning Sage Chub’s advice: DNFTT.

2 06 2010
Shirley M

You’re right of course, but she/it/Tuckey just makes me so effing mad!

3 06 2010
big_baggies

if someone dies and they are a friend, you get told.IF they are not a friend you dont bloody know or find out on stalkbook.duh

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ BB again you’re a moron. You live in a world devoid of gray area.

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinky ,
Think i disagree on the world bb lives,or exists) in ;
i think it would be totally one colour….grey or maybe biege.
That her views are all black and white simply means she has not grown up yet and/or has an IQ in single digets(on a good day)

2 06 2010
Tombarina

Thank you, all.

Glad to know I’m not alone in my WTFing. Some superb suggestions too, re gifts, what to wear, how to RSVP, etc.

Have now discussed with the Beloved, who with enormous gravitas pronounced “f&*k ‘em”. He also reminded me that I have repeatedly and unkindly referred to the bride as “Pilchie” (short for pilchard) on account of her very small brain, and that she’s a drop-of-the-hat hugger’n’kisser, which he hates.

So shall mail an elaborate “inability” RSVP, written in my neatest hand.

Again, thank you. It really was quite vexing.

2 06 2010
pb

keep us informed of any response.

2 06 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

ubertack.
Your first instinct is correct Tombarina; egift in spirit.

3 06 2010
miss dahl

Tacky beyond belief… and cheap. So will there be a real wedding receoption. If they are that cheap with invitations, what’s the food gonna be like ?

2 06 2010
Mick

I’ve found that when the mining bogan gets a knock-back trom an Asian girl the girl goes from being ‘hot as’ to being a ‘fucking porch monkey’.

The capacity for hypocrisy in the bogan is limitless. I had a few drinks with three blokes who had Asian partners. All six of them lectured me on the evils of immigration. Some of the venom coming out of the mouths of the girls was appalling. They should know better.

Is brain-washing legal in this country? It’s the only explanation I have.

2 06 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I don’t know if this works for you, but I’ve found it useful…
I recall from a douglas adams novel the story of a planet which had a comet pass too close and render the inhabitants simultaneously psychic overnight. the planet immediately descended into total chaos and war as everyone could read eachother’s mind. no secrets. after many years the inhabitants had learned to maintain a constant inane chatter to save themselves from annihilation. it seems they had figured as long as their mouths were moving their brains were not working.

2 06 2010
that.girl.possessed

I’ve never seen a bogan try to pick up an Asian chick but then again I live on the Gold Coast so they have to compete with the Surfers girls and usually only want to hang out at ‘international dance parties’ aka night clubs events for asians.

Usually the only time I see a white guy with an asian girl is when the guy is old enough to be her father or some somewhat unfortunate looking guy who has yellow fever and his girlfriend can barely speak english.

But seriously what is so exotic about asian girls, most still look like little girls or weird barbie dolls. By the way I am asian.

3 06 2010
BlindSquirrel

Hey tgp… how YOU doin? *wink*

2 06 2010
Antosha

I had a bad dose of Yellow Fever after spending 2 years working in the Dutch East Indies..

Now that I have relocated to the frozen wastelands of the Siberian tundra, I have found the Ruskie lass to be far more appealing. Much easier to have a conversation with – much closer to my eye level.

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
The russians at least think like we do and have a similar and strong sense of humour. Totally different from my experiences living in Malaysia where even though they (mostly) speak english one is ofeten still not comunicating and as for sharing a joke .

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I have a very good friend who is Russian. She is so stunning I wont sit next to her…;)

In my opinion, all cultures have beauties, beasts, people who are funny, people who aren’t that funny but think they are, and so on and so forth.

I’ve never dated an asian man, not because I didn’t want to, but because the opportunity didn’t arise.

I’m lucky enough to know people all around the world and I like them because of who they are and what they believe in, not because they are of a different background.

3 06 2010
Shirley M

I used to go out with a chinese dude. He was a lovely chap. During the time I was with him he changed his last name for family reasons, and I told all my friends it was because his dad was part of the chinese mafia and they had to go underground. Hahahaha!

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Shirl!

I Love you…not in a gay way and not that there’s anything wrong with that…you’re ferkin’ funny!

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Awww shucks. :-)

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Antosha,

Wow Siberian Tundra. I’m green with envy.

May I ask what you do there?

3 06 2010
Benjamin

I had a colleague who was born in Siberia.

I thought this was cool (big fan of wilderness and barren places here). He thought I was an idiot ;-)

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

we can be idiots together Benji :D

3 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

once more I will deny the concept of race.
I choose to see only humans.
by way of example: if one was to journey from say sarawak to ulan bator (by road, take the coast until shanghai) one would certainly a shifting of physical appearance along the way among the indigenes, but at no geographical point could one stop and say here is where this “race” becomes another. “there is no perfect face, but all faces are perfect” the simple infinite variety of human appearance accounts for the differences. any other line of reasoning is eugenic and redundant.

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

You are hearted Chubby, my sentiments exactly.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Can I still use SD? Cause I’m way to lazy to type the whole thing ;)

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

Yes you may!

3 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

nice.
I must admit, the concept is filched from a splendid doco called “the myth of race”, but it’s part of me now.

did I see someone in here mention that the 747 will render us raceless in time?
I hope so. I will continue to act as if, get in early.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

We all come from Africa anyway. They have proven this via genetics.

You’re all a bunch of maxxxtreme sexy gene’s to me.*

*BB not included :P

3 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

bravo!
bogans would be livid to know we’re all descended of a probably brown great great etc. Granma.
alas they prolly don’t run deep enough to understand or extrapolate…

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
It gets even better! Recent DNA studies show that we are not even pure Homo Sapiens but have about 6 to 7% Neanderthal !
Probably explains sone of the knuckle dragers that you see around wearing pants 8″too long ,bum crack showing ,sneekers with laces undone and a hoody that may at some long ago time been clean.

3 06 2010
brad

Is that all of humanity or just Europeans and North African/Middle Eastern Peoples as these are the only geographic areas that Neanderthal remains have been found? the 8″ bum crack phenomea amongst the young is a constant gripe at place of employment,the value of belts is lost on them as they prefer too walk around as if they were incarcerated African Americans.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Well they are african’s, by DNA anyway. ;)

4 06 2010
brad

ba-boom,i have actually tried too explain this very fact too them Pinky,however their limited powers of reasoning caused a misunderstanding that soon de-generated into having my good self accused of buggery and all sorts of threats made against my person. Cheeky Pinky.

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I’ve been told that, and worse. ;) I just don’t care anymore, anyone who is willing to resort to name calling deserves to be made fun of. I also enjoy baiting religitard bogans.

Most bogan’s stopped taking biology in year 7 so even their basic knowledge is flawed. HAHAHAHA

What ever people like that say, it’s all projection, remember the bogan loves anal and glassing c**ts. Making them look stupid without them realising is one of my favourite past times. Also making them paranoid. Good Fun.

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
Aparently one of the factors that determins beauty is symetry which of course is raceless.

3 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

beautifully put JH.

3 06 2010
James

I have the loveliest race story you will ever hear.

When my daughter was in preschool (at age four), she had a Sudanese girl named Achok in her class. I once asked my daughter if she played with the Sudanese girl and my daughter looked at me like she did not know what I was talking about. I asked if she played with the African girl, and my daughter said there were only Australians in her class. I then asked if she played with the black girl, the one with dark skin, and still my daughter looked confused and said she didn’t know who I meant. At that point, my wife came into the conversation and said, “Dad is talking about Achok. Do you play with Achok?” At that point, my daughter’s eyes lit up, and she said that of course she plays with Achok, and that they are good friends. If only we could all be like that…

3 06 2010
miss dahl

Yep, it’s all about how you raise’em…

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Applause!

3 06 2010
brad

Having spent my formitive years in a multicultural suburb your storey strikes a note.We’ve only inhabited this world for 65000-70000 yrs(besides Africa) and the differences in our make-up are really only skin deep so too say,the young mind automatically registers the similarities,not the differences.Only when social conditioning as we get older f83ks us does prejudice seep in.The trick is too keep the young mind alive.Cool story dude.

3 06 2010
SD

My 6 yr old niece was visiting us a few months back. One of the flats on our floor has a gay couple. She got pretty attached to the “uncles” (they spoiled her silly) and cried a lot when she left. Not once did she ask about an “aunty”. Agree Brad, young minds are far more accepting.

3 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Beautifully put, chubby. Very eloquent, as much as true.

We are all but of one race—our shared simple humanity. Across the constructs of race, all of us have common beneficent aims. And as you (or someone else) stated, with mobility on an unprecedented scale available to more and more of us, this concept of ultimate commonality is bearing fruit, with those who can see across the globe their varied origins and take something worthwhile from each one.

We of all ethnicities can all intermingle and interbreed: to those who push the line of [supposed] racial hygiene, well, the results are in. Those who are of mixed ethnicity will usually inherit the best features of their ancestors and have less genetic defects, as opposed to those who strictly breed amongst themselves.

Never forget folks that we, the 6.7-or-so-biliion of us, are all simply humans, nothing more and nothing less.

3 06 2010
pb

bit of a diversion from the topic at hand, but semi related: http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/1063405/banker-fired-for-being-too-good-looking
are femmebogues now going to use the excuse that ‘they were too hot for work’ as an excuse when they get fired?

3 06 2010
devil's advocate

Seriously, what a stunner hey. She is incredible.

I can actually sympathise with management, if she was around me I would not get a damn (work related) thing done.

3 06 2010
James

I don’t find it such an issue. Teaching undergraduates you get a lot of pretty younger people (I am not yet thirty myself, so I don’t know if I can call them young). Then again, I am a family man and you come across as a bit of a footloose young single man, da. Maybe that is where the difference lies.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. On a more serious but not entirely unrelated note James, can you please discuss the current Government’s immigration policy vis a vis our SE Asian neighbours?

3 06 2010
James

That depends what aspect of immigration policy you mean. Are you referring to our working with Indonesia and Malaysia to attempt to reduce the number of asylum boats heading to Australia?

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Simpler than that. We have an immigration policy that is what it is (good and bad). How, if at all, does this affect the totality of our international relationships, particularly in our geographic region?

I also have another question for you, but I’ll save that for another day…

3 06 2010
James

I see. Well, that all depends on what we level focus on. In terms of our bilateral relations with various Southeast Asian states, it can have an effect – particularly our historical immigration policies. A good example of this was the attitude taken towards Australia by Dr Mahatir when he was Malaysian PM. The racially selective immigration policy of the past has led to a feeling in many SE Asian states that we consider ourselves apart from the region, and has led in part to a reticence to accept at face value our attempts to integrate ourselves in Asia. This has led to some major costs for Australia in terms of its participation in regional institutions like ASEAN. I think we are starting to see this fade into the past though. It will be interesting to see how SE Asian leaders approach the issue of greater participation in ASEAN and its various organs for Australia, and I think it is fair to say that this functions as a bellwether in terms of the growing level of acceptance we experience in the region.

At the grassroots level, there is still a strong perception that we are racially selective in our immigration intake, due to the approach taken in the past, and this perception is exacerbated by some of the current policies towards asylum seekers that discriminate on the basis of country of origin. I must stress here that this tends to have very little effect at the elite and governmental level though.

Overall, insofar as the totality of our relationships with the nations in our region is concerned, the geostrategic factors play a much larger role than any other factor. Couple the geographic proximity and the level of shared interest this engenders with the threat posed by non-state actors like terrorist groups and transnational criminals, and the immigration factors are most definitely secondary at best.

Thus, I would argue that while our immigration policy (both historical and current, but particularly the former) causes a level of friction with some regional states, the imperative towards cooperation is far to strong, and the immigration issues will always necessarily occupy the margins when it comes to important regional relationships.

3 06 2010
James

Wow – that’s really long. Sorry.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. *clap*

Thank you James, well expressed and well covered.

I seem to recall a recent Singaporean PM commenting that until Australia was >= 50.1% ethnically Asian, we could not expect our claims of being “South East Asian” to be taken seriously.

3 06 2010
James

It does seem to be a real sticking point for the bigger players in the region, except perhaps Indonesia. But the level of mutual suspicion there is relatively high for other reasons, like East Timor and our seeming lack of respect for Indonesia’s territorial integrity.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What’s the Indonesian issue (from our point of view) – their eastward expansion?

Can you expand on your last sentence too, please?

3 06 2010
James

From Australia’s perspective (IMHO), the Indonesian issue is one of its relative strength. If Indonesia is strong, and able to maintain national cohesion and police its waters, Australia is comfortable. If Indonesia is too strong, particularly militarily, Australia is uncomfortable, as it means we need to at least attempt to match that power. On eastward expansion, Indonesia has enough trouble with its current Papuan provinces – I doubt very highly they would be concerned with adding to that trouble.

On my last sentence, there is a lot of concern – particularly in official circles – that we do not share Indonesia’s views on the fundamental importance of its territorial integrity. They look at Australian activity like our role in the separation of East Timor, and giving asylum to West Papuan independence activists, and wonder if we really are as committed to their national cohesion as our leaders constantly claim. Again, this relates closely to the historical relationship, as we opposed very strenuously the Indonesian incorporation of Dutch New Guinea, and any time there is some act by the Australian government which is perceived as sympathetic to West Papuan claims, fears of Australia supporting the disintegration of Indonesia are heightened, and mutual suspicion results.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. So is this the driver of some of our policies re: Indonesia – a desire to see them “just strong enough but certainly no stronger”?

3 06 2010
James

Exactly. There is also an emphasis on a particular type of strength – defensive strength, or strength that does not allow them to project force outside their archipelago.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. So then, Indonesia are right to be suspicious of Australia’s intentions?

3 06 2010
James

I would say yes, but not for the reasons they actually are. We have no desire for West Papua to be independent, indeed we had no desire for East Timor to be independent when Howard sent that letter to Habibie in December 1998. They should be much more suspicious about our desire to compete with them militarily.

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

“indeed we had no desire for East Timor to be independent when Howard sent that letter to Habibie in December 1998.”

Curious – why is the CW that ET independence engineered by Australia?

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And how do we stack up to them, militarily?

Yes, that letter Howard sent to Habibie caused rather a ruckus, did it not!

3 06 2010
James

Two reasons – because of Howard’s letter to Habibie, and the fact that we led and gave the bulk of the personnel to the INTERFET intervention.

However, when Howard sent that letter he had no idea that Habibie would react the way that he did, and there was a perception that any act of self determination in East Timor would vote for autonomy, rather than independence. Our first policy concern during that affair was that relations with Indonesia, and particularly TNI, not be damaged. A good outcome for East Timor was somewhere down that list priorities.

3 06 2010
James

At the moment we stack up well. Indonesia has large ground forces, but very little air or naval capacity. We have small (but very good) ground forces, and a reasonably strong air capacity (compared to Indonesia, at least), and a middling naval capacity. The short of it is that Indonesia poses no military threat to us, nor us to them.

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

Wouldn’t China’s role in the region, particularly its resumption of Indonesian ties have some effect too?

3 06 2010
James

There are some serious impediments to that relationship improving, SD, but I like to connect those sorts of issues to China’s rise as a major power.

All eyes are on China and the US in the Asia-Pacific region more generally at the moment. As China’s power increases relative to that of the US, the balance of power shifts in China’s favour. Should the US decide to contest China assuming a role as regional hegemon, we will see a major systemic – perhaps even global – war. If China decides to contest US hegemony, again, we will see war. If China is happy to work within the current international system, and the US takes steps to accommodate China’s rise, there is a chance at maintaining the current peace.

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

True re Indonesia/China. I guess all ASEAN countries must have a push-pull relationship with China given its desire to be a regional hegemon predates its recent history. I don’t think Japan remains as influential (I may be wrong) but they too would be keenly viewing the way events play out in Asia-Pacific. It’s hard for me to see China displacing the US though – they do however appear the most likely candidate – they seem to have enough internal problems of their own.

Wonder if the lack of money – and history – limits US ambitions. Not that it deterred them in Iraq!

I guess one can keep posting Qs since you know so much and it’s all so fascinating :-) Do you work in the area or is it just an interest?

3 06 2010
James

I teach International Relations at a university, with a particular focus on both the Asia-Pacific region, and Australian foreign policy. I love my job so much…

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

Nice – having a job one loves. One day I will get there.

Is International Relations a good degree at the undergrad level? My cousin is applying in the US for an undergrad degree and there is some pressure on her to do drop it and take it up only as a postgrad course (apologies for seeking advice on this forum!).

Fiona please come back I am sure you have more Q’s – apologies for hijacking this thread.

3 06 2010
James

I think it is worth pursuing at an undergraduate level if you are looking towards postgraduate studies in the field. Undergraduate qualification in IR do very little good outside academia and the foreign policy bureaucracy, unless coupled with business or within an arts/law degree. Just make sure your cousin appreciates the difference between International Relations and International Studies, as many think they are one and the same.

In any case, I am heading off to the coast tonight and will be away from internet access until Monday. So after this post, any further interrogation will have to wait, I am sorry to say.

3 06 2010
vivisection

SD, You’re right about James being lucky to have a job he loves – meanwhile I spent the best part of my morning trying to explain to a medicare lackey that a female to male transgender person still needs to have a pap smear, and that they should still be able to get a rebate if they do. Talk about migraine inducing !

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

Thanks James. It is in IR. Enjoy your break.

Viv that sounds like a terrible day, trying to drill sense into the purposely dull usually needs an entire bottle of wine to fix!

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Thank you James, I trust you find the caravan accommodating and comfortable – well, as much as possible.

Whence you return, I do have more questions for you…

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

Impressive James! Fiona you may have to credit him as a co-author if you are writing a paper :-)

Isn’t Malaysia a bit of an outlier in terms of its hostility and that too more so in the Mahathir era? Like you say I think on a surface level there is a lot of “Australia is not SE Asia” but on a practical level it pretty much is.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. James is the author, I am merely his muse. I wouldn’t want my name on a paper on a topic so prosaic as international relations, anyway. :-p

3 06 2010
Benjamin

“but on a practical level it pretty much is.”

Bingo – I think you have it. The rest feels like nothing more than political posturing to me.

3 06 2010
James

Depends what is meant by practical, Benji and SD. Geographically, and in terms of how we relate to many of the states in the region, certainly. Geostrategically, it is more and more becoming the case, although the US alliance and wider global trends like the shifting power balance in the Pacific are starting to take centre stage. In terms of international institutions, we are far from being part of Southeast Asia. As I said above, I like to think of our level of engagement with ASEAN as a bellwether, and we are not, and have no prospects of being, part of ASEAN any time soon. Conversely, we are a dialogue partner in the ASEAN Regional Forum and the East Asia Summit, and I think at the moment we are negotiating a free trade agreement with ASEAN.

3 06 2010
South Dakota (previously SD)

Valid point about ASEAN though arguably given the member states of ASEAN, it makes sense to not have Australia as a part of ASEAN. But on the whole there appears to be a good degree of political and economic engagement in the region. I don’t think there is going to be all out chuminess ever and each relationship will be tempered by a certain wariness and self interest but on the other hand I do not think there is much basis for any marked hostilities.

Of course my knowledge is solely based on the ABC :-)

3 06 2010
Benjamin

“In terms of international institutions, we are far from being part of Southeast Asia.”

Of course, you are the expert ;-) I must plead ignorance to the effect that these organisations have on the direct welfare of this country in either direction. I think I need to do some reading.

Certainly our economic hooks are deep into Asia already, no? It was from this point of view that I was mainly referring to practicalities. Investors seem to believe so at least, given the affect that news from Asia has on our currency, for example. Depending on what you say next, the full extent of my ignorance may be made known…

Thanks – I’m enjoying reading your posts.

3 06 2010
James

I think that is a highly accurate characterisation of the economic situation Benji. If Australia can effectively build on these connections, and especially if bilateral and multilateral negotiations on free trade prove successful, we will be looking over the longer term at a much higher level of integration with regional institutions like ASEAN. Actual membership, however, is another matter altogether.

3 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Unfortunately, one of the sticking points in having a deeper sense of belonging and engagement in the Southeast Asian region are the bogans, without sounding trite about it. Absolute lack of interest on their part about foreign affairs with our nearest international neighbours, all the while having this misplaced sense of entitlement that comes from the illusion of “carrying the white man’s burden”.

The only time they engage with that region is either going on sex tours of Patpong Road (Bangkok) for the boyz, plastic surgery tourism for the girlz, or concern whether or not they can get the latest consumer whatchamacalit thingymubobs at the cheapest prices.

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Not sure if that’s too much of a factor, ‘Turnips.

Bogans are everywhere, and I don’t actually think they are generally more prevalent here than other nations. We’re just familiar with our kind.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Vivi
I wish I had read this earlier, I could have helped you.

Lets just say medicare isn’t very fond of Pinky ;)

@ James, SD, Fi

You guys lost me after the first post. I am in awe of your level of thinking.

I am going off to read “International Relations for dummies”.

Enjoy your weekend James.

3 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. AFTER the first post? Surely you exaggerate.

5 06 2010
DP

Is that the same former PM that managed to infantilize an entire city-state of citizens? His credibility is not what it used to be.

3 06 2010
brad

i find James’s insights very informitive and all other contributers,but from a novice point of veiw as i understand it Indonesia is of no real threat as it is more a federation of island states rather than one whole homeginous country and thus is always side tracked with internal strife too worry itself about what we’re up too.Malaysia see’s us as a colonial thorn in the side,China (which is now really all of Asia) wants in on our recources similar too the Anglo/American push into Middle East oil 80 yrs ago,I think ASEAN elite dont give too hutes what we do as long as we be nice little Western Consumers.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Don’t be mean Fi. I was nice to you. :(

3 06 2010
vivisection

It’s alright Pinky, I was mean to her on your account earlier. ;)

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Thanks vivi! I’m such a sook!! XXX

3 06 2010
martin

I used to be like that but now I mostly just see dollar signs whenever I see a woman that attractive. Ie the amount of money I’d need to get her, most likely, or at least keep her, most likely. :D

I prefer brunettes anyway.

3 06 2010
vivisection

Judging on the photo / bedroom setting, I think you could calculate that on hourly rates.

3 06 2010
vivisection

I just noticed, it isn’t a bed she’s on, its a couch.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Don’t you sit on the couch like that Vivi? I know I do…

3 06 2010
devil's advocate

Dunno if it’s single status or not (but in my case single really only means unmarried).

It’s probably just me. In the summer down here sometimes it’s all I can do to keep myself from stacking the car into the gutter or light pole.

It’s not that I have ADHD or anything, I can normally concentrate really well, but this lady would be my undoing.

3 06 2010
miss dahl

No, just way too intelligent for the asshole that fired them!

3 06 2010
vivisection

Yes, it’s one level of arseholism to be a sexist pratt in your head, and quiet another to pull a bullshit stunt like that. If anyone should be sacked it’s the moron who couldn’t work out that basic divide.

3 06 2010
vivisection

very good point

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Keep in mind the source – nein.

It could be a fabrication. The courts etc would sort this out.

3 06 2010
pb

yes, that’s why i didn’t want to make any comments on that particular case – it may be a warranted complaint, it may not. but it has brought a new excuse for the deluded and self-absorbed.

3 06 2010
Benjamin

True.

3 06 2010
Mick

Yes pb, they will. But in true bogan style it will only be the Jabba The Hut type femmebogue with the dolphin tatts on each overly exposed breast who makes the claim.

3 06 2010
James

A vivid image Mick.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Too vivid…**Shudder**

3 06 2010
Mick

My apologies.

I can only comment on what I see and know. As I spend the majority of my time in either Qld or WA this is what I get.

I cry myself to sleep a lot.

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

It’s okay Mick, we love your insight, being a recovering bogan and all that. ;)

3 06 2010
Benjamin

I may have mentioned this one before somewhere on TBL – but it seems on topic with the chatter. Read this rather pragmatic quote somewhere online (paraphrased):

“Son, don’t be racist. Most people are assholes and will give you reason to hate them anyway”.

3 06 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

How do racist jokes start?

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Not sure I follow…

3 06 2010
Pandabater

3 Abos walk into a bar,

Sorry but a piece of bait floated past & I sometimes can’t resist.

3 06 2010
Pandabater

Please forgive me.

3 06 2010
Shirley M

What do you call a black man flying a plane?

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Hitler!

Sorry to Godwin this thread, but I think it is best for all concerned if it dies here.

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Ahhh you should have waited for the punchline, Benji. I think you’ll enjoy it.

A pilot you f*cking racist!

3 06 2010
Shirley M

I’m in moderation, and rather than be patient, I’m reposting, so apologies in advance for the double up.

You should have waited for the punchline, Benji. I think you’ll enjoy it.

A pilot you f*cking r*cist!

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Bwahahahahahahh!!!! Thank you – I laughed. If I had a drink, it would be running out my nose.

Reminds me of a quiz I once saw featuring questions like “What is a four letter work meaning the same as intercourse?”.

I think the quiz was called “Get your head out of the gutter”.

3 06 2010
Benjamin

*word*

3 06 2010
Shirley M

Is there a four letter word meaning the same as intercourse that isn’t off-colour? Because I’m racking my brain here…..

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Talk.

3 06 2010
Shirley M

hahaha ahhhh yeah, of course.

Oh dear. My mind’s in a worse state than even I imagined….

3 06 2010
Benjamin

For what it’s worth – someone has a copy of the quiz here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071202193446AASugFn

3 06 2010
James Hunter

fuck

3 06 2010
Benjamin

Class as always ;-)

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Tracy,
Good question but i believe humour is part of the human condition.As to how joke start ,i suspect we find humour in anything that is different.
However the conotation of race that seems to dominate the discussions herein is a narrow one,ie biological race only. in popular terms we often confuse it with nationalities and religions and certainly from a point of humour all are often mixed. Lets also not for get that jokes carry different intent, often even the words may be the dsame but the inflection or circumstance alter the meaning.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH
I think I laugh more when something is true, mostly a “stereotype truth” but funny all the same.

I find nerd jokes really funny, probably because most of them are poking at me. I also find medical jokes funny. And I love political satire (Yes Minister, The Hollowmen)

Could it be suggested that what one finds funny could be based more on individual experience and intelligence/Educational level (whether that be formal learning or self taught)?

just a random proposition.

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

**Humble apologies for my lack of punctuation. :?

3 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
Early experiencesof humour as with other components of nurture would i agree have a big influence. Most early learning is by mimiking our parents and i think humour is the same. I know for me i still tell some of my fathers jokes and have adapted others to changed circumstances. I guess if it works then use it.
The previous post was more an attempt to think on the where it comes from in the broad brush /societal way.
Myself I realy enjoy “graveside humour” and can get a laugh out of the sadest situations. Must be a bit of a sicko. Like most of us i too repeat jokes that i hear though it has to be a realy good one to be added to my “permanent repertoire” dont worry about the punctuaion i dont even notice

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I have trouble with the broad brush type of argument, I think it’s because my career has been mainly in the mental health setting, therefore individual responses are the first to come to mind.

I agree with your broader statement JH.

I’m terrible with spelling and punctuation, but being on here everyday since the 2nd post I think, has improved my spelling at least ten fold ;)

3 06 2010
toony

I still find this funny…

Two Indian junkies have no heroin and no money, and out of desperation, decide to inject curry powder.
The resuslts were devastating.
One died (he had a bad tikka) and the other is still in a korma.
:(

4 06 2010
James Hunter

or the coloured person goes into centerlink the official askes “what can we do for you” the coloured says” hey may im looking for a job” the official says “well my man are you in luck, we got this job with free food and accomodation just helping this old guy pack and unpack his clothes when he goes traveling. you go with him all round the world , staying in top hotels and casinos. He give you top wages and a gambling allowance ahen at the casinos and whenever he gets hookers in for himself gets you one to”
the coloured guy says “holy shit man, you gotta be jokeing”
“the officer dead pans ” well yes i am but you started it asking for a job”

3 06 2010
Blueballs

Do you think there is a slight chance that in the warped, body obsessed mind of the Bogan, he is rationalising the since Asian chicks are ‘designed’ to be mated by Asian men, by simply hooking up with an Asian chick, his modest sized dick would be considered by his Asian conquest as massive in comparison, therefore enabling said Bogan to feel fleetingly endowed like a porn star???

3 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Blueballs, I think you’re onto something.

3 06 2010
Blueballs

Thereby feathering the Bogans ego and providing countless hours of amusing locker room anecdotes should the lucky conquest require a trip to the local emergency ward for a medial procedure not unlike the one Jennifer Keyte reputedly had after a dalliance with Johnny Diesel back in the day…

3 06 2010
vivisection

Ew! Busted chops? That happened to a friend once. Her description, not mine.

3 06 2010
Blueballs

sans coke bottle!

3 06 2010
vivisection

I knew nothing about a coke bottle! My friend was just caught unawares by a big hearted gentlemen friend.

3 06 2010
Tombarina

Made me recall a description a girlfriend gave of a chap she was dating when they nuded-up for the first time.

Apparently, the apparatus was so incredibly long and so ridiculously skinny she could only think of two things:

1. “I wonder if I should make kebabs for dinner”, and
2. “Luke, I am your father.”

Giggles ensued. Nuding-up soon ceased. There was no second or subsequent nuding.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Luke, I am your father…

hahahahahahahahaha! GOLD!

4 06 2010
devil's advocate

LOL. There was a study conducted some years back that found the s.e. asian male/small penis thing is a myth. Being a guy, I haven’t seen many so have no personal experience to draw upon. But the study seemed robust.

4 06 2010
Mick

Obviously this study was not conducted by bogan bible, Zoo Weekly.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Doesn’t it all just come down to proportionate penis size to body size?

4 06 2010
vivisection

As a general rule, yes, but not always Shirley. Otherwise short men would have been naturally selected out of existence.

4 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
It could be they would have to keep breeding with shorter women and eventually we all be 3′ tall(short).
FLAG: Future marketing opertunity :Booster seats for the new short age adults.

4 06 2010
vivisection

Could thought JH – we could all be tiny like those little miniature horses within 100 years – I shall start a miniature Horse stud farm immediately to meet the upcoming transport needs. It’s a good excuse to get one, I’ve always wanted one – his name will be Kinnickity.

4 06 2010
vivisection

“Good” thought, not “could”thought. I’m too excited about getting Kinnickity to think proper.

4 06 2010
James Hunter

sure it was not Pernicity ?

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

The human race has been getting bigger so perhaps a period of regression is called for. God knows if the bogans get “huger” we will need to start remodelling whole cities.

4 06 2010
vivisection

I’m still getting Kinnickity. See him in bed.

http://www.guidehorse.com/photo_page.htm

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That, is a small horse my friend. Let me know how it goes. But are you allowed to own one or do you need to be sight impaired (assuming of course you are not Viv).

4 06 2010
vivisection

Simon, Between you and me, i’m not sight impaired – well I wear glasses, but i’m not legally blind. But I reckon i could stumble around with a big stick for a few hours to scam me one!

4 06 2010
vivisection

And if I get away with that , I’ll aim for a helper monkey.

4 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv, you get away with you get a very short very hot asian chick as a helper !

4 06 2010
devil's advocate

meh. If the bogan’s approach to getting huger is to take roids, then they will no longer be able to reproduce.

Which is to say the male bogans will no longer be able to impregnate the she-bogans. I’m sure Breantha will still be able to get knocked up one way or another.

4 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Either that or the will be too fat to bonk and stop breeding that way.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

I think we are all in agreement that anything that causes procreation to become problematic for the bogan is a good thing. Let them eat cake and take ‘roids, I say!

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Where can I buy one? :?

4 06 2010
Tombarina

What – a ‘roid cake, or a pony you could fit on a scone?

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

booster seats for short people…I don’t think roids will help me…

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Rumour has it that short men have more girth. I’m not overly qualified to comment on this, though.

4 06 2010
vivisection

Does that explain the wider hips on modern women? They aint for birthing at all! It’s so short man can continue breeding. Or should we blame KFC and McDonalds?

4 06 2010
Shirley M

I thought the actual hips – not the fat hanging off them – were smaller in recent times. Smaller than they were 50 years ago. The fat hanging off them however, has indeed grown, and we can definitely blame KFC and friends.

4 06 2010
vivisection

You may be right – i made that up :)

4 06 2010
Shirley M

I have no scientific proof that I’m right. I’m basing that solely on vintage clothing. The cuts and styles indicate to me that women were once larger in the hip area.

4 06 2010
Chris

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=average+penis+size

You’ll find that the long-held bogan belief of “the browner the skin, the bigger the dick, the slantier the eyes, the shorter the prick” is patently untrue.
And women all over the world are approximately the same size, internally. That is, normally much smaller than your penis, engorging and expanding specifically to fit nicely around whatever it is presented with at the time of insertion.

4 06 2010
big_baggies

I have it on good authority some Asian chicks have holes like the grand canyon

physical size is not an indicator of vagina size

ffs

4 06 2010
Shirley M

Ummmm.. I don’t think anyone said that it did.

But thank you for sharing your ‘innermost’ secrets with us.

4 06 2010
Pandabater

Shirl, resist, resist.

“Ignorance is Bliss” applies to both sides in this case.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

I do try, Pandabater, I really do. And of course, you’re right.

4 06 2010
Pandabater

I’ll put it this way Shirl, b_b is blissful under her ignorance & if we ignore her we will become blissful.

4 06 2010
James Hunter

Pandabater
with the anount of ignorance bb has she should be in a coma

4 06 2010
James Hunter

Pandabater,
come to think on it , maybe we all now know from what physical attribute,or affliction bb got the monika, bb !
BAHAHAHAHAHA (Thanks Pinky)

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I have no hips. At my height I would look like a square anyway.

I’d like some hips, just not one provided by ingesting KFC.

I think it’s true that most people find a curvier figure more attractive. I look like a 12 year old boy. It makes it difficult to buy jeans designed for women, not girls or mens…BAH HUMBUG

4 06 2010
Shirley M

You can have a little bit of my hips if you like. But just a little bit.

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Thanks Shirl.

I don’t want much, honestly just enough to actually fit a pair of women’s jeans and not look like I’m wearing jodhpurs.

4 06 2010
Shirley M

You can have the part of mine that’s created from beer consumption. Happy to help.

4 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Thanks again shirl! ;)

4 06 2010
pb

i have a 12 year old boy figure too, p!nky. i sometimes think if i didn’t have long hair and wear skirts i’d get mistaken for an actual 12 year old boy!

5 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ PB

I have short hair.

You’re tall too, do you have jeans buying issues?

I’m only 5’3. I think I was being generous to myself with the 12 year old boy thing. ;) Most 12 year olds are taller than me.

7 06 2010
pb

@p!nky, i’m not really that tall, and actually have short legs, so i have issues with jeans. i tend to buy them at jay jays, simply because they do make jeans for hipless people – seeing as their target market is teenagers.
i know a 12 year old or two who are as tall me. i’m hoping one day i might look like a grown-up, but not sure if it’ll happen!

5 06 2010
Anne

I can’t be bothered to read the comments (way too long) but this post is hilariously true. As an Asian who works in a retail store in Australia that is literally aimed for bogans (if you can guess what it is, big points), I swear to God. The amount of bogans that ask me out/propose to me (no, I’m not your Asian mail order bride) when I’m at work is seriously creepy. I get asked out more then the other white girls at work.

The racist comments I’ve ever receieved, funnily enough, came from white women.

6 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Anne,

It must drive you nuts! Blimey.

Typical, Femme Bogan’s are very insecure Anne, they are incredibly shallow too which isn’t a good combo. Not to mention how stupid they are.

Do you work at Supre?

What do I get if I win? :P

10 06 2010
PeteyV

So you are a white asian (not unique but not common either)?? That might be why you are so special. Maybe you are hot too, and in a bogue magnet retail outlet too, so I doubt anyone is terribly surprised by your revellations. I ‘almost’ admire the sheer gall of the male bogue in his quest to ‘nail hot asian chicks’ that he attempts a ‘proposal’ hahaha sorry that I would love to see … um while buying a Ralph Loren rip off Polo Top.

6 06 2010
martin

Hmmm, Lowes? Bunnings Warehouse?

Love the Bunnings Warehouse ads how they say something along the lines of how you’ll always find something you want. Yeha right here’s a tin of paint for mum.

6 06 2010
Sten

I love the way the employees are constantly starring in commercials. How do any of them get any bloody work done?

6 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

they must be hiding from Bogan’s asking stupid questions. I never seem to able to find anyone at bunning to help answer my stupid questions. ;)

How are you Sten? Where have you been?

7 06 2010
Anne

ding ding ding! It’s Lowes. The most bogan store in Australia.

HAHA Stupid Bunnings Warehouse ads.

7 06 2010
Peter

Oh, James Hunter, you not exactly a metal Goliath when it comes to spelling.

7 06 2010
James Hunter

Peter,

Like a lot of dsylecsics my spepping may be a bit dodgy but also (like a most dsylecsics ) I would put my intellect up agains yours anytime.

Your capacity to write boring monologues designed to impress everyone inevitably impress no one

7 06 2010
Peter

Oh, James Hunter, if you need to impress upon me or anyone else that, despite glaringly obvious shortcomings, you really are an intellectual that’s your business. I make no claim nor do I want to be thought of as such. I happen to like who I am, faults and all. I’m not overburdened, overwhelmed or overly righteous about myself or what i do. Regardless of whatever you are or whatever you’re like, one thing’s for sure, you’re not much, but you’re all you ever think about. nothing for nothing, Jim, and sometimes the bill doesn’t come in straight away.

7 06 2010
James Hunter

Activated some Delta fibers ?

7 06 2010
Peter

no, just reminding you of your innermost fundamental truth, Jim. Now don’t be a sad little wannabee intellectual.

10 06 2010
PeteyV

As usual it descends into a pseudo intellectual game of one upsmanship, which is more pathetic than it’s given credit for. Sigh. Or ‘lol’?

Hot asian chicks, if you are male ‘and’ have balls, are ‘hot’ even to the pseudo intellectual, I’m sure.

Amusing addition to the list. Can I request that the next one on the list is written by someone outside of Melbourne though? Pretty please.

18 06 2010
Ronny Jonny

I work in the oil and gas industry which is absolutely infested with new bogan douches, particularly off the coast of WA. The pinnacle of this Asian girl fetish is the usually fairly ugly or downright strange looking bogan who goes so far as to move himself to the Philipines so he can take advantage of beautiful but dirt poor girls. The level of self deception among these fools is breathtaking. I have had many of them inform me that it’s not prostitution, it is seen as a sign of prestige in the local culture for a girl to have a foreign boyfriend and besides the money is given out of friendliness and wanting to help the poor girl out. Quite noble realy. And don’t forget that Aussie girls are all tunnel c*nted molls and don’t appreciate them. Regardless of the fact that no woman in her right mind would be caught dead with these circus freaks….
I won’t go into the gold chains and other signs of super wealth these tools strut around in.

30 01 2011
Mick

Word.

6 07 2010
Rudolf Belka

Found this article, perhaps this could explain why Bogans like asian chicks and why they will get rejected.

http://www.colorq.org/articles/article.aspx?d=2005&x=deconstruct

24 09 2010
Ash

I once promised a bogan mate that if he ever hooked up with a hot Asian chick that I would wear his favourite Ed Hardy shirt for a week.

This was three years ago and I’ve never had to wear that rag yet.

25 11 2010
Aimee

Sorry but I have never heard/seen a bogan go for an Asian chick, (unless they can’t get a white chick).
Most bogans detest Asians, and are indeed, racist, portraying Asians as emotionless, cold, boring, weird etc
You should see where I live, in Melbourne the suburb of ‘Springvale’ is dominated by Vietnamese, and has been dubbed ‘Ching-vale’ by Melbourne bogans.

25 11 2010
Fingers

I hate to sound like Pauline Hanson but everytime I have met a bloke who has a weakness, strong attraction for “Hot” Asian chicks and prefers them to Anglos have been mentally disturbed severely one way or another. Also I think they prefer them because they are more submissive than Anglo ones. When it comes to my personal taste in women asian chicks are not my cup of tea.

3 12 2010
yelo

me love you long time asian women….
oooohhh me so horny…..
10 dallaz suckee-suckee ???

14 01 2011
Enough bogan thuggery already.

Asian woman ARE generally more attractive to many men, and they stay that way for a lot longer than western women.

Another bonus is most don’t have their heads full of deranged post-60’s western “feminism”.

Both these aspects are extremely attractive to men of all types who’ve had a bad run with one or more toxified western women. There is then no going back.

Asia is many different cultures and there are many different stratas and people within those cultures.

14 01 2011
v'visexxx!on

If I were straight, I know I’d certainly be looking for a gal that didn’t have her silly head filled with post 60’s notions of feminism too. Who would want a partner that you had to treat with respect and equality!! Gracious no, give me pretty little housewife from a lower strata of asian culture any day.
I do know a few of those toxified western women you refer to, I think they were ruined as soon as they got the vote and were allowed to go past grade 5 at school. T’is a shame, especially for the ugly ones who had less of chance of catching a man to begin with. And you can’t even shake them anymore without getting into trouble….

15 01 2011
Enough bogan thuggery already.

Viv’, thanks for demonstrating my point in a most pefect way.

I could give countless other examples too of other extreme derangement and irrationality from post 60s feminist “luminaries”, but I won’t waste my time here. It’s easily found for those interested.

I have never met a “submissive” asian women a la the hateful deranged western feminist stereotype.

Let us celebrate Asian women!

The early suffrajets 100 or so years ago wanted equal rights in some areas, and they got them. Then in the late 60s early 70s “feminism” started becoming an irrational hate movement. Sorry darlings but that is going to wear pretty thin over time, and hence we have the increasing attraction towards the graceful and non-hate-infected females of the east. Watch and weep.

15 01 2011
v'visexxx!on

I’m sure western women the world over a panicking and regretting their poisonous actions that have led to your defection…

16 01 2011
Enough bogan thuggery already.

More or less.

Men(and many sane women) are waking up to the feminist hate movement.

Enjoy.

30 01 2011
p'bee

guess i’d better go and be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen then. how dare i get educated and think for myself – those evil 60s feminists have clearly poisoned my mind.

30 01 2011
EsDee (formerly SD)

Tell him he is dreaming.

Another moron who thinks the F word is confined to the West.

As an Asian woman, I find this soft, compliant, feminine idiots persona laughable. You will see women in our parts will break your b*lls good and proper-and you look to be in need of just such a thing.

30 01 2011
Ash -Glasser of C*nts, Kicker of Hipsters and Massive Can Connossieur

Ain’t that right, SD. I often tell anyone who somehow thinks Asian women are little submissive China dolls to go spend some time with my uncle and aunt. He’s a massive Fijian dude married to a tiny little Asian woman, but there’s no question who wears the pants in the house and it ain’t my uncle.

30 01 2011
James Hunter

Ash ect,
Asian cross dressers …Hmmmmmmmmmm very interestink

30 01 2011
Ash -Glasser of C*nts, Kicker of Hipsters and Massive Can Connossieur

JH, get your mind out of the gutter.

30 01 2011
James Hunter

Ash ect,
Just mingling with the crowd.

1 03 2011
Plebian wonder

You sound like an angry fem-bogue.

There is good help out there for anger issues.

Anger will eat you up and leave you sad and lonely.

30 01 2011
p'bee

you know what your problem is? you’re not smart or confident enough to deal with being questioned. you want someone to bow down to (what you perceive to be) your infinite wisdom, and so you resent any woman who dares point out that you clearly aren’t as special as you think you are.

30 01 2011
James Hunter

pee bee,
I would hazard a guess that very few of us are as special as we think we are. To recognise that we are not special is a sign of maturity and that we have embraced humility. So you can see that would be an extremly rare thing. We are just another parasite on the earth. The largest and most agressive and most avaricious, most war like. Hey all the things that are hallmarks of humanity. but individually special? First special in what way? just a bigger nastier example of humanity? or a more humble compasionate example? The later group are by biological standards , bu natures standsrds, the failures.
So in summary the special ones , the realy special ones are to found in the ranks of the failures !!

30 01 2011
Mick

Bloody feminist!

*Runs. Runs like the wind.*

30 01 2011
jenny

what about the non-bogan normal types, are they into asians?

6 02 2011
Progressive???

Sure are.
Most bogans I know go for their own type(IE not other races).

Let the hate spewing “progressives” sneer and jeer in their sad and hypocritical world of paranoid bitterness. They are just angry that someone outside their desperate fad-grasping tribe is in a win/win relationship that doesn’t fit their narrow, childish, kneejerk prescriptions for the rest of humanity. Oh how “tolerant” they really are!

2 03 2011
Immanuel Karnt

Can’t speak for all of them, but I don’t discriminate myself. Hot is hot across all races and that’s all that matters.

13 03 2011
Wei

Hello Guys,Does anyone know the Hot Asian Girl in the picture that show in the statement above?! She’s so hot! Does anyone know her?! Her name or anythings information,I need it,Thanks! I love this Hot Asian Girl.

29 03 2011
Blueballs

Favourite TBL post of all time!

A few years back I did a three month stint in Malaysia with an infantry company full of country bumpkin army reservists of varying vintage, but all keen to indulge in the sexual cornucopia of south east asia. End result, a couple got into fleeting relationships with semi retired sex workers, one dear old bugger engaged a local girl, when asked why “I guess I had to ask her before the next rotation showed up…” and the remainder simply blew their money on rub and tugs and bar trawling whores (and the occasional Shim!)

In short, the local girls saw these clowns coming from miles away and were utterly ruthless in manipulating their weakness and naivety on all thing asian.
One of the lads best described it as “I went looking for Lucy Liu and ended up with Rose Hancock”

The tour was a case study for Bogans coveting, but otherwise lacking the smarts to seduce a hot asian chick. The poor old choco’s never stood a chance, it was a train smash!

15 09 2011
antqueen

From experience most bogans don’t end up with Asian girls of the East Asian variety. Most of them end up with mail order looking thai girls young enough to be their daughter. And call me bitchy but unfortunately, the ‘artificial’ thai girlies are often MUCH better looking than the ‘natural’ ones.

17 09 2011
Taariq Hassan

A lot of Hazara women from Afghanistan who flee their country are attractive and have slightly Mongolian features mixed with Persian features.

12 11 2011
lalala

Picture is of Otomo Sayuri in case anyone is interested.

13 11 2011
James Hunter

lalala,
Is that supposed to have any significance ?
I dont study that photo all that much…it is not a video !

21 02 2012
Frank

I reckon this obession has been encoded on bogan brains by decades of endless and mindless Khe Sanh sing alongs:

“There aint’ nothing like the kisses of a jaded Chinese Princess, I’m gonna hit some Hing Kond matress all night long.”

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