A Birthday

14 10 2010

It’s just come to our attention that on this day last year, we set up a blog to house an analysis of the things that bogans do indeed like. Since then, we’ve managed to list 182 of those things, the blog has been viewed almost 3 million times, and it has received 44,000 comments.

But due to the bogan’s continuing devolution, our work is not yet done.  The TBL book will be in stores nationwide in about a fortnight, containing 25 or 30 new posts that are some of our genuine favourites, along with spruced up versions of our better efforts over the past 12 months. Although we’re also chipping away fairly inefficiently on another idea, we’ll continue to update the blog as much as we can. So, to the people who have given us a helping hand (you know who you are), to our loyal and amusing readers who help to keep us motivated, and to the impulsive reprobates who we have chronicled 182 times, thank you. It’s well on its way to being our best ever pub story.

Please, enjoy a slice of the delicious cake that we have had prepared to commemorate our first birthday.

Yours kindly,

Enron Hubbard, Flash Johnson, E. Chas McSween, Intravenus DeMilo, Hunter McKenzie-Smythe, and special guest contributor Michael Jayfox.


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62 responses

14 10 2010
JimC

I just hope Molly Meldrum doesn’t hold a party for you guys.

Or we’ll be ducking flying glass bottles at our children’s windows.

14 10 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse

LOL. I assume I have received a heartfelt thanks in the foreword?

14 10 2010
hel

I shall return my copy if they have xx

14 10 2010
SD

LOL. I don’t mind but DA’s rant should be appended to it.

14 10 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse

LOL. Imagine if his creepy stalking followed me there!

14 10 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Maybe you could do a deal with TBL and do a book signing in some suitable establishment ?

14 10 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse

LOL. That’s actually a wonderful idea. It would make the authors wealthier, that’s for sure.

14 10 2010
James Hunter

Is that the “icing on the cake” or what?

14 10 2010
Shirley M

Happiest of birthdays to you punks. Thanks for the good times, and keep them coming. Now go and have a beer.

14 10 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
dont forget the Bundy chaser

14 10 2010
Lana

Happy birthday TBL..

Hope you have many more glorious birthdays to come and many more glorious posts about our not so glorious friends/nemesis/corrupted genes/bogo sapien friends.

Three cheers.. 🙂

14 10 2010
SD

Happy Birthday to the best blog in Australia! And this reader looks forward to the book.

14 10 2010
Mick

It’s quite fitting that on such a big occasion as TBL’s birthday a story about Australia being the dumb blonde of the world splashes the bogan news.

Well done all.

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/australia-is-the-dumb-blonde-of-the-world-says-marketing-expert-simon-anhalt/story-e6freon6-1225938647468

14 10 2010
Gorey

But we’re so good at sport!

14 10 2010
Sven

Best ever. Happy Birthday TBL! Now let’s get drunk and defaecate in a hallway!

14 10 2010
pb

happy birthday tbl. can i have the little prada and calvin klein bag decorations on the cake?

14 10 2010
SD

Uh huh TBL goes by the name of Jillian, I didn’t know that.

14 10 2010
Glass 'em all

Happy Birthday TBL!

Devolution? Wazzat? You need a yard glass of harden the fark up.

14 10 2010
vivisection

Happy birthday Tbl – we should all go to Bali to celebrate.

14 10 2010
pb

can we get matching tramp stamps to remember our trip by?

14 10 2010
vivisection

and Bali braids!! I’ll start booking visiting times so we can celebrate with Schapelle.

14 10 2010
SD

Whatever happened to Schapelle’s pregancy?

14 10 2010
Glass 'em all

Don’t forget your boogie board.

14 10 2010
Kate

Happy birthday, TBL. It’s my birthday too, although I’ve got 21 years on you.

14 10 2010
Pandabater

Vive le Devolution.

Happy Birthday TBL!!!

14 10 2010
AntiPajero

Happy birthday, Things.
Everyone raise a glass. Wait… why are they all broken?

14 10 2010
urbanreverie

Happy birthday, TBL! (Now this thread is starting to remind me of Brunei television in the days leading up to the Sultan’s birthday, when every single ad consists of a business wishing His Majesty a happy birthday!)

By the way, I don’t know too many bogans with Royal Bank of Scotland credit cards. I’m thinking that’s more of a chav cake.

14 10 2010
Ghengis of Coles Gungahlin

We could just say the RBOS card is a BankWest card (RBOS owns BankWest, and the bogan miners are mostly in WA)

15 10 2010
Bag O'Turnips

They did. Not anymore, as RBS had to flog WankBest in order to get bailed out by the British public; the owners of BankWest are Bitch Wank? The Commonwhore Bank nowadays. Nevertheless, many bogans are prepared to put up with a bank which offers the worst of both worlds of the Four Pillocks Pillars and the regionals, in order to get zero interest on purchases, which they can never take advantage of due to their inability to repay debt in a timely manner.

Anyway, congratulations to TBL on twelve months of sending these false sacred cows of boganity to the knackery.

14 10 2010
Loftie

I know i’ll be buying my copy of the TBL bible…
it will be right next to
“Bogans for Dummies”
and
“Rivkin Rules” – the must have book on how to get rich – but die trying…

14 10 2010
Loftie

Happy Birthday – BTW 🙂

14 10 2010
SD

Was checking book details – and LOLed a bit at the author bios.

http://www.hachette.com.au/books/9780733626692/

14 10 2010
Valo

Happy Birthday TBL. Keep fighting the good fight against the bogan menace.

14 10 2010
Tone

Many happy returns, TBL! And I’m not talking about unsold copies of the book from retailers come February, either.

I’m assuming that there’s going to be a party, complete with velvet rope at the front door?

14 10 2010
Chairman Miaow

Happy Birthday TBL’ers.

I think Richard Wilkins should launch the bogan bible on TT/ACA simultaneously (apparently they do that), with Kerrie Anne K brought in to find you some strays (with TBL tramp stamps) so you can get a bit of group #124 happening. The book is naturally sponsored by Holden and the credits undoubtedly read …’as dressed by Ed Hardy’. I look forward to quoting you ad nauseum whilst rolling my eyes and glassing someone.

Enjoy your Krispy Kremes lads!

14 10 2010
Nelson Esq

TBL is now officially a toddler having had it’s 1st Birthday. Looking forward to more blogs as you make your way toward the terrible 2’s. Thanks for a year of good laughs!

*Glass*

14 10 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Happy Birthday TBL, is it scary you share a birthday with my girlfriend?

14 10 2010
James Hunter

TBP,
not so scary as shareing your girlfriend with TBL

James Hunter is right. TBL

14 10 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Zing! Guess I had that one coming to me…

14 10 2010
pb

anyone else see this on aca? bogan kid jasyn wants to perform with bogan heroes crusty demons. government bans six year old jasyn from performing because it is too dangerous. mumbogue derides bureaucracy gone mad: http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=8105990

14 10 2010
Tombarina

Oh FFS.

Note Mabogue’s reference to “my children” (oh, good – there’s more where this one came from) and how the evil authorities have “crushed his dreams – dreams he’s had since he was little”. As opposed to now, when he’s all huge and grown-up with well-honed risk assessment skills and impulse control.

Of course, when Jasyn stacks a bike and is fatally impaled on his handlebars, the same slackjawed parental fools will be suing someone – anyone – for “not doing enough to stop this tragedy from happening”. And possibly the bike manufacturer, for their wilful disregard in making machines for such little kids.

14 10 2010
Bec

They even used the phrase “fun police” in the promos.

Goodbye, cruel world. *glasses self in the temple*

14 10 2010
Mick

Poor little Jasyn’s dreams would have been crushed the first time he opened his eyes and copped a look at who had brought him into this world…

14 10 2010
pb

the ‘reporter’ has a particularly hideous fake tan too. and teeth to rival bugs bunny.

15 10 2010
Pendant

I didn’t watch the video (at work) but the comments, oh my:

“The parents no there own child the mum thinks he fine with riding he got a passion to ride.”
“i know he 6 but his mum knows him his mum knows it his passion and he good. and the jumbs he doing are fine for him.”
“just get a life and dont destroy his dream to ride with the crusty demons. the jumbs are’nt that big i feel sad for him.”
-Makayla

“Do y’all wrap ya kids up in cotton wool? How many cars crash each day, but i bet y’all put ya kids in cars! Get A Life!!”
-Valleygirl

“where do the cops ever stop let jasyn ride you never know he might be australia’s next big thing and you stoped him”
-AnthonyG

14 10 2010
Tombarina

Kudos and happy returns, TBL kiddies.

May you live long, prosper, and bring forth many unfortunately-monikered spawn.

I’m off to watch The Big Lebowski in your honour.
xxx

14 10 2010
martin

I’ll only buy the book if it has an entry on 4WDs. Well, maybe, if it doesn’t.

Onya TBL. Nice to have something intelligent on the net to read that isn’t influenced by wankers and bogans.

15 10 2010
Mr Hands

Richard Wilkins is on the cover.

http://www.hachette.com.au/books/9780733626692/

Are there going to be any signed copies ?

15 10 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Happy Birthday TBL. Thanks for continuing amusement and discourse. I’m going out to glass a c*nt in your honour.

15 10 2010
Son of Duane

Another (late) happy birthday greeting from me.

Can’t wait for the book.

15 10 2010
SD

TBL the movie-can casting begin?

15 10 2010
Benny Hill

Happy Birthday bogans.

Will the book be available via Kindle?

15 10 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse

LOL. Perhaps it will be serialised in Zoo Weekly?

15 10 2010
Bag O'Turnips

It’ll go over their sweet little heads, unless they think that being referenced in any context is pretty rad, given their butter-smeared grasp of irony.

15 10 2010
Pendant

Well done TBL. Well done everybody

16 10 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

…again
a (now belated) happy birthday. Sorry I was early and then late, but Dogen Zenji says in the Shobogenzo that there is only This. Now. and anything else is just some shit your mind made up. that’s what I took from it anyway. he spent a lot of time banging on about how every dewdrop reflects the same moon and something about some cat laughing at a flower. or was that Osho?
where was I?
oh yeah.
ditto all comments above except the inane shit.
QBD at casuarina told me the book will be available Nov. 1st.
Personally I shall queue for it, where ever we are.
Thanks for all the yuks. And seriously thanks for shining a light on the insipid lowest common denominator moronity which makes the world go round. Interstellar Space Monsters will view you as the most astute of chroniclers of Earth’s demise.

don’t ever stop!
seriously.
we fucking OWN you now!

16 10 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

…oh and I meant to add extra points for referencing the Mothersbaugh boys.
Greetings Beautiful Mutants!
(you are most worthy to carry their torch.)
go forward, move ahead and give the past the slip.
Eliminate the ninnies and the twits!
Bombs Away.

16 10 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
after the bombs(hopefully FAE bombs,at least) cam I still help you “clean up” with the .243 ?

17 10 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

james
that would be a .243 paintball gun right?
You know my attitude to lethality…
aah fuck it.
Take my old .303/.25 as well and look for a partial defilade on the high ground.
You can pick off the stragglers. I’m going in close with the MP3 and a 1911 Four Nickel.
Keep Australia Beautiful…

and who the hell told you about Fuel Air Explosive?

17 10 2010
jay
17 10 2010
Twiggy Forrest

I used this blog as a media example in my exams last semester. Pretty sure I high distinctioned that mother fucker

Ha, I love it when two wrongs make a right. TBL

14 08 2011
hescules

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