The young bogan male craves adventure and violence, and the military offers the opportunity to undertake this without the threat of arrest, but with the threat of death. As a result, it is significantly more common to loudly profess a desire to join the army, than to actually join it. Instead, the bogan can get his adventure in Western Australia, forgoing the chance to kill things for the chance to dig a big hole and earn a stupid amount of money.
He isn’t actually going off to war, but the bogan’s family and friends will treat his departure in a similar solemn ceremonial way. Whilst in a remote area of Western Australia, the bogan will ply his modest skillset, be it at boilermaking, engineering, food preparation, or holding a traffic signpost, earning in excess of $500 a day. This financial windfall opens the glittering door to hyper-bogan consumption. Within months, he is playing GTA on his new 800 inch LCD TV, ripping donuts in his shiny ‘Chevrolet’ Ute, and drinking phenomenal amounts of locally brewed Stella Artois.
His roster allows him a few consecutive days off each month, which he uses to fly down to Perth with his new mining buddies. They’re there for a good time, not a long time, and the wallets are bulging. They saunter with an aura of invincibility that can only be derived from waging war on the frontier, though in this case the adversary is a pristine natural environment. At the poker tables at Burswood casino, they gamble beyond the realm of any sense. The local card sharks generally pocket thousands of mining dollars thanks to their superior cardplaying skills, making the bogan squadron irritable. Eventually they retreat to the strippers to tuck $50 notes into garter belts and drink more Stella.
After a couple of years of this, the bogan returns home from war to a hero’s welcome. He is tanned, he has more Christian Audigier products than anyone in his suburb, and almost instantly there is a Jet Ski trailer hitched to the back of the Chevrolet. Soon though, the money runs out. His one man commodity boom is over, and the reality of a normal income level kicks in. He can’t afford to go to the casino so often, the strippers have stopped treating him like a celebrity, and a new model of Ute has been released that he’s unable to get finance for. Bitter with the world, he contents himself with cutting off people when merging lanes, calling pedestrians poofs, and thinking back to the time when he was king.
Comments RSS
Trackback
LOL. Don’t all bogans have to go to work in the mines? Some metaphorical of course…
Fiona, an inability to use pronouns correctly is a telltale sign of a bogan (and the nouveau riche, a close cousin of the bogan, although I find the two groups misuse pronouns in different ways). In the header of this otherwise fine blog, it says “these are them”. Shouldn’t it be “these are those [things]”?
Yes, come to think of it boganism does seem to have increased during the commodity boom years. The boom is predicted to continue for mnay years to come :(
The mines is where cashed up bogans originated.
You’re right, they all do buy jet skis. I guess jet skiing is a sporting activity that anyone can be reasonably good at without any practice or fitness levels, so it’s suits the bogan’s thirst for instant gratification nicely.
I mean, if they bought sail boats or kayaks they would either have to learn how to sail, or get fit enought to paddle – and who can be F’d with that?
Jet skiing was probably the single most boring thing I have tried. Do a couple of donuts, jump a wave then see how fast it goes………. fun was over in 7 minutes.
LOL. Why? Couldn’t find any dolphins to torment?
lol troll.
If you must know Fiona I shoot dolphins for food.
LOL. No, I won’t go out with you. Let’s just nip that in the bud right now.
Don’t flatter yourself idiot.
You just got a bag full of REJECTION
As a Perth dweller there have been many ramifications of the mining boom/cashed up bogan phenomenon. One of the links few seem to have made (apart from me of course) is the ridiculous amount charged for meals in average restaurants. People are routinely paying over $40.00 for a main. I blame the bogan, as who else would be stupid enough to keep forking out that type of cash for well-done T-bone with mash? They keep paying, so proprieters keep charging, leaving those of us with decent palates jaded and bemused.
Don’t get me started on real estate prices.
I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one to notice, Shazza. Perth is an expensive city to live, but that also has to be partially blamed on backward trading hours and licensing laws making it difficult for traders to operate.
jimmy many food critics in Perth have lamented the astronomical fees charged for food, but not one has ever joined the dots. Therefore I stand by my claim. The excuse about trading hours doesn’t wash when it comes to prices charged. If people stopped paying, they would stop charging. Simple.
Surely you could just go somewhere with a foreign sounding name to escape the bogan horde?
Plenty of bogans who were once dish pigs at your local restaurants for $8/hr are now fully qualified “TA’s” in the mining industry earning $150k per year. This rapid bogan evolution has required the restaurant owners to start paying much higher wages to dish pigs. This fact and real estate price increases are the main reasons for your dinner price increase.
Shazza, if it was purely due to stupid profits being made then surely you would find more restaurants opening up to take advantage. This would force prices down.
Then please explain why I pay more for my meals here than I do in Sydney and Melbourne where real estate prices for well located and appointed restaurants are also high. And where the price of living has been higher than WA’s til recent times?
Did you miss the first half of my post? Here it is again:
“Plenty of bogans who were once dish pigs at your local restaurants for $8/hr are now fully qualified “TA’s” in the mining industry earning $150k per year. This rapid bogan evolution has required the restaurant owners to start paying much higher wages to dish pigs.”
If your theory held any water at all then we would all be out there starting new restaurants and becoming mega rich.
Oh please, running a restaurant requires far more than a wish for wealth. Your theory seems to be that all bogans graduate from school, straight into the hospitality industry. Then find out they can be making a lot more in the mining industry so leave their lowly dish pig status and head up North. If this were true restaurants would be paying a hell of a lot more in wages to combat an apparent hospitality exodus.
Sticking to my theory.
The word “plenty” is very different to the word “all”.
IMO, better paid mining and O&G opps for the boges has forced wage increases in a number of lowly skilled industries, hospitality being one of them.
Increased wages = increased costs = increased prices.
If increased prices simply equalled increased profits for existing restaurants…would you or would you not expect more entrepreneurs to have a crack at the market?
Smart entrepenurs would stay away from restaurants, aside from dining there. Let Warren Mead be a lesson to anyone reading this
My husband and I started a business during the last resource peak and are well aware of the challenges in holding onto staff during these boom periods so I am being a little tongue in cheek with my point. It does affect all industries, not food alone. We are in an unrelated field, and had similar issues, but didn’t increase our product cost due to market competition. Foodies can do it, coz theyre all doing it. If one fine dining establishment starts charging reasonable prices again the others may need to follow suit.
Man, I just moved to the coast and wanted to get a jet ski, but this is the second time this blog has made me feel guilty about it. Guess I could just take up kayaking or surfing instead
Better for your health, better for the environment. Just watch out for the bogans on surfboards… easily recognized by their Southern Cross tattoos and ridiculously ugly boardshorts
That should be a post all on its own – the phenomenon of the ugly boardshorts.
I remember being told before I moved here that some surfers have southern cross tattoos and/or the local postcode tattoo. Clearly displaying the local postcode obviously means you own the beach.
Oh Christ yes. Who knew it was within the realm of human ability to create such obnoxiously patterned and eye-assaultingly neon boardshorts?
Yes, I’ve noticed on my drive down to Portsea over the years the increase in the number of Jet Skis that can be seen ‘fanging it’ off Frankston beach.
Mines has an “o” in it, just like the capital of Iowa. As in “garnaworkinnamoines”.
HAHAHA fuuny because it’s true, I’ve been waiting for this article for a while, you captured their migration patterns perfectly. No wonder Burswood is constantly renovating. WA might not have much to show for the mining boom, but i’m sure they will have a stunning casino by the end of it.
After a career change in the mid ’90’s via a degree qualification I “landed” a middle management role in the mining sector during the commencement of the boom in the early noughties. To witness the many methods of displaying excess the blue collar “crews” were capable of was nothing short of ridiculous. Examples are when you are returning to Perth the majority of the carparks for long term parking were a combination of the following: XR8/6’s, HSV’s, WRX’s, etc on high interest loans.
While these folk will gladly tell you how much they spent on these chariots and surprise surprise the majority of them lived in the worst suburbs of Perth. For the cost of one of these vehicles you could update to a better area quite easily.
Other examples of CUB’s were the amount of tatt’s one had and the ability to drink one’s body weight in bourbon on the flight back to Perth. Conversley there are others who have done very well thanks to hard work and diligent planning but this is a rarity in the current environment.
PS: At the height of the boom STD’s reached an all time high in WA; coincidence or not???
Please Anthony, I paid good money to ensure I have no bogan neighbours. Don’t encourage them.
Shazza,
Me too.. However in all the fickleness that life throws our way I have a 50-something bogan neighbour in a beautiful home with a Mercedes Benz that sounds like 20 HSV’s; the souped up Merc mid-life crisis car! And to top it off he drives like a 20yo hoon around our lovely little area.
Hopefully it is only a phase he is going through….
And not his windscreen
Hee hee Indi (evil snicker).
My commiserations Anthony.
This is so very true.
I know blokes making $2200 for a Friday-to-Sunday shift every week who go home to $600,000 McMansions and Mazda MX5’s (aka: the bogan Porsche).
I know a mine worker who drives a truck about a two-hundred meters forward to pick up a load of coal. Then reverses back that two-hundred meters to unload it. And he makes about $500 a day.
But then 18 months after starting the job the mine closes down and they’re all laid off and crying poor in the loudest, most obnoxious way possible (through tabloid news shows), and wheeling out their snotty, obnoxious kids and bunging on the whole “little Aussie battler’ routine.
All children are snotty, JimC, even the nice ones. Please leave snot out of it.
*chuckle* @ Annette.
Hah! Very true.
I mean snotty by attitude, not by mucus-related physicality.
Continue!
I used to work in the resource sector in Perth. Honestly with the cost of living and the fact that your missus is shagging other blokes whilst you’re away…It isn’t worth it.
you’re being just as ignorant, profiling and bigoted as the bogan in this one.
BOGAN’s are now in IT. heck everyone has a computer/Playstation skills these days!
We’re not suggesting that ALL bogans EXCLUSIVELY work in mines. Let’s not back ourselves into a corner. Bogans work in all industries – they are nefarious, virulent.
http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/about/ – TBL
I think the point of this entry is to highlight the bogans’ lack of financial management. I’m sure there are people that work on the mines and save most if their expendable income for the future, bogans would lack the foresight.
As far as bogans being in IT, definately. The ‘3 month study with guaranteed work’ ads are highly appealing to bogans. Anything that offers maximum return with minimum effort is what baits the bogan.
‘Definately’ is bogan spelling. The word is ‘definitely’. This is an indelible marker of boganism. You, sir/madam, are an infiltrator.
Please…
Don’t you have an Andre Rieu DVD to buy for your bogan mother.
Rieu is definitely another bogan beloved! Why, why do we have to be exposed to him, especially when he’s playing ‘Waltzing Matilda’ with bogan bestie Richard Wilkins? Was it ‘Waltzing Matilda” Wilkins was wetting himself over? I’ve been partially successful in blacking that out …
Well, when the man has 37 DVDs out, of all the same material (that he didn’t write), it’s hard to avoid him.
Andre Rieu – Wiggles for grown ups :-)
That’s about the funniest thing I have ever read on this site. God, I hope that includes the crazy dancing in the aisles at live shows.
Andre is the bet scam artist ever. The dude is brilliant in the way he has them all fooled that he has talent. Each new DVD is simply the old one with a new cover. God he is good. Wiggles comparison is brilliant, good work bg.
A mistro pap merchant.
Point taken, mispelling ‘definitely’ me an infiltrator of a blog.
Some chaps I grew up with are perfect illustrations of this. While others were forging ahead in industry and juggling career and PhDs, they were still floating around with a basic skill set (but mainly playing PlayStation and renting DVDs) until the boom started in the 1990s. Unfortunately for them, their orgasm of cash is now over. When one particular fellow came back to Earth, he had to sell everything he owned to tend to his debts. He has absolutely nothing to show for more than a decade of massive income but a creaky old computer and an XBox. And a skinful of tatts.
I currently work at a minesite in the Pilbara region and everyone of these posts have been spot on. From the tribal tattoos to plasma tvs. Just one observation however0 the beer of choice seems to be Amstel rather than stella.
Must be a WA thing. It’s Corona here in SA.
As both a miner and a fan of TBL, I’m surprised it took 12 weeks to get to this topic.
We wrote it a little while ago, but it took a while to turn up on the blog itself. Hope you enjoyed it! TBL
Amstel is the Fosters of the Netherlands. The cheapest beer sold around Europeean bars and kiosks.
Bogans did pretty much the same thing pre-mining boom, except it was to work on fishing trawlers out of Carnarvon instead. Getting paid a rediculous amount for a months work at sea and then spending it all in one huge booze fuelled, week long orgy of gambling, strippers, prostitutes, fighting, racially abusing aborigines, getting arrested and being locked up.
Isn’t jet-skiing the bogans national sport?/
Can you think of a job other than working in a huge open cut mine that would be more attractive to a bogan? It feeds their destructive nature by having the opportunity to play with dynamite and ‘blow shit up’. Also, by driving those oversized dump trucks, they not only get to burn copious amounts of fossil fuels, it gives them bragging rights over their mates in the ‘whose got the bigger/more powerful ute’ argument. Finally, by going to some far off nothing town in the middle of nowhere WA or Far North Queensland, they can also brag to everyone that they ‘have travelled around Australia’.
i think the grand irony in all of this is the fact the metal/ore/steel extracted by said bogans is exported to china, to fuel their industrialisation, which in turn fuelsthe middle-class-fication process of the chinese, which sends them straight to australia as international students, which ends up fuelling the racist bogan with ‘fuck off – we’re full’ paraphanelia. the symbiosis in play here is mesmerising…
But bogans love the Chinese! Especially the ones who cook their honey chicken/sweet and sour pork…
for sure, as long as they NEVER rise above ‘fast food worker’ status, the bogan doesn’t mind them too much. similarly, the bogan fears the entrepreneurial indian, whom he knows will be his boss in a few decades, so much like the plotline to the terminator trilogy, the bogan is intent on destroying the scourge before it becomes the scourge…
Brilliant note on irony (pun intended) hindustan. And don’t forget the Chinese letter tattoos.
of course! or the ones that get kanji/katakana tattoos! brendan fevola being the prime candidate. he wanted to get his wife’s name on her arm, so his arm reads ‘areksu’. that’s another thing bogans like: getting their ‘little cunt’ ragrat’s name tattooed in cryptic gothic script. that way ‘jeighdynne’ doesn’t hurt the eyes so much!
It is their way of showing their love for their children and thus how sensitive and caring they are. I suspect the better approach is to simply not beat your children.
The comments about bogues blowing their money at the Birdswood Casino has made me think of another potential future TBL blog “Becoming a Professional Poker Player”.
How many bogues want to be the next Joe Hasham? Heaps! Shane Warne included. Besides, when they’re sick of driving huge dump trucks for a living, what other profession is going to be able to pay for the expensive lifestyle that the CUB has become accustomed to? Becoming a professional poker player is easy and all the training you need is to turn on the 52 inch plasma and watch a couple of tournaments being broadcasted on Channel One HD!
Only the subject of tacky blonds (aka Warnie), both he and Warwick Slapper, sorry, Capper deserve their own posts.
Touchdown my friend. Combine the Poker playing lifestyle with the “fair Bet” during the cricket coverage; the best of both worlds.
It is a very sad state of affairs when our bogan idols (i.e. Waaaaaaaaaarnie) are plugging this utter moronic crap but it seems that the bogan doesn’t realise accumulation is nothing more than hard work and time; a concept beyond comprehension.
A cab driver this afternoon told me he is heading over to Perth to work in the mines, then retiring in Thailand “because the chicks are hot there ay”
mick hanna if you read this blog, im letting you know for your own sake your a bogan deal with it …
I will admit, if I had no real career prospects at this point in my life (I am in my mid 20’s) I would consider going and working in the mining industry. All that money would be quite tempting, but I’m the sort of person who would save it all up and reap the benefits for years afterwards. I’m only average at cards, strippers don’t take my fancy, WRX’s are the cliche toy of wannabee street-racers, and I don’t have any tatts to speak of!
still wouldnt stop all the envious stiffs on this blog paying out on you.($500 a day too drive a truck back and forth 20 metres-yeh that fella’s a real dead set moron) ha ha
hmmm, enviouse of wasting my life for a whopping $500 a day? Not likely champ.
sp. envious
2500-3000 grand a week is good money anywhere,iv worked with plenty of people whom preform “no brainer” jobs that would send weaker minded people(sam) postal.But usually i find its a means to an end and theyll invest it in property or super and make sure their fam gets the best,youll get the occasional goose who’ll blow it all but they dont last long doing that kind of work anyway -the bogan behaviour is a result of them cracking up as they have no plan or focus when they take a job like this on.Plenty of wealthy riggers and alimak drivers out their mate and if you told them theyve wasted their lives they’d probaly laugh and shout you next months rent ha ha
If you say so Brad. You can spend your 84hrs per week out there doing something that doesn’t require an IQ>80 for your 2500-3000 per week if that is how you want to spend your good years. How are your digs? A donger next to a thousand other dongers all full of tattooed bogans? How are your meal times? Shoulder to shoulder with tattooed, bearded bogans every meal? Sounds ace!
Talk to some people that use their brains for a living and you will be suprised that there are much bigger pay packets out there for varied, interesting, intelligent work in varied locations around the world that also allow you to sleep in your own bed every night and to have a weekend.
I kid you not mate, there are actually better jobs out there than driving a dump truck. Ask around.
i agree Sam ,but for some people because of a lack of education ,unfortunate life circumstances or lack of language skills jobs like this are an option to achieve a resonable standard of living for themselves and their families.On a further note you are obviously young and niave as your comments show scant understanding of real life realities for a lot of people,but i can assure you if you were to voice your opinions aloud in the company of (dongers) instead of a pissy uni blog you would probaly have a life changing experience that would help you see and understand their lifestyle choice(no-choice).p.s working 6 months ayear then relaxing 6 months with family and freinds is better than youll ever do you gen y piss-ant
Saying the truth about bogans in the presence of bogans will probably get you a glass in the face. Who would do that?
Brad, I can almost see you trying to punch me through your computer. You are an angry little bogan man aren’t you.
You and your bogan ilk can carry on “living the dream”. While the smarter blokes are back home in the city, earning twice as much and visiting your wives while you are away.
tsk tsk. Play nicely, Sam. Stop poking with a stick. And let’s not bring the ladies into this.
my wife would laugh at the likes of you -she works with so called smart men in suits,and between what my wife and her female co-workers say about them and also personally meeting some of her male co-workers,lets just say im not too threatened for they are neither smart,nor men,im sure you’d fit in that picture Sam(or is it Samantha)ha ha
ouch! that Samantha gag was a fresh one.
That is just what your missus tells you so that you don’t start any drunken punch ups with the normals at her work Xmas party. All bogan secretaries would trade up in a heartbeat if their boss showed any interest. When is your next stint up north?
Relax, you two. We’ll have a new post up in the morning, so you won’t have to stoush about the mines! TBL
sorry too fly off the handle tbl but the missus has been riden me about me drinkin and choofin and stuff
Brad… If I may correct your spelling?
Accordingly as follows:
$2500 – $3000
‘I’ve’
(Sam)
‘I’
‘it’s’
‘they’ll’
‘you’ll’
‘don’t’
‘there’
they’ve
‘probably’
‘month’s’
Also do feel free to put a space between full stops and commas when you do use them.
I thought we were over grammar nazi-ism.
Nazism is normally spelled with a capital ‘N’, and unhyphenated.
(See, you thought wrong.)
*chuckle*
I never did claim to be an intellectual genius John, and certainly don’t play the pseudo intellect either.
Nice try though.
kris-bogan name
No need to right and proud. Simply do a 1 week course in rigging, and get a job on a union site in any CBD and you will earn the same amount, and come home to your own bed every night, instead of a Ralph magazine concentration camp.
Hee hee! “Ralph magazine concentration camp”. I laughed, and now… euw.
When did an engineering degree form part of a “modest skills set”?
Not sure anyone is talking about professional engineers here, Sam. The people to whom this article makes reference wouldn’t even qualify for entry to an engineering program, let alone be able to master geomechanics.
W.A the bogan state
Yes, chris, I’m afraid so.
Wait, I thought it was Queensland? I must be a bogan then…
you forgot nsw(except Paddington) and S.A
Having lived on the North Shore of Sydney, the Central Coast, the Gold Coast and Brisbane, I can say that for every bogan suburb you find in Sydney, you can find three of them in Brisbane! The Central Coast is an interesting place too- there are a few bogan suburbs in the south like Woy Woy and Umina, but most of the suburbs are alright. Go north of Lisarow, into Wyong Shire, and pretty much every suburb is a bogan suburb.
Every suburb in Perth apart from Peppermint Grove and Dalkeith are bogan suburbs. Your $500/day bogan would still need to work 7 days a week for 50 years to buy here. The other suburbs are packed with bogans of various core.
Generally the further the suburb from this central, non-bogan zone, the more intense the level of boganity. For non-Perthites, DO NOT travel east of the CBD after dark on public transport as even the bogans are too scared to do this.
yeh we wont say who the culprits are will we sam
Which suburbs of the central coast are alright?
The central coast started when a brother and sister went fishing in their boat and got stranded on the peninsula at woy woy.
Mick Hanna the racist army truck driver will no doubt try to work in the mines when his 6 years in the services is up.
Tee best example of this is the Navy. My mates and I are officers, and my mate still laughs at the time one of his sailors came up to him (straight after coming back with about 60K in unspent salary from a 6 month Gulf deployment) and asked for permission to take the afternoon off to go to the bank. The conversation went like this:
Sailor: ‘Sir, can I have permission to go to the bank this arvie?’
Officer: ‘I guess so…what are you seeing the bank about? Are you buying a house?’
Sailor: ‘Nah Sir….gonna get an HSV ute!’
Officer: ‘Ummm, why don’t you just pay for it? Don’t get a loan if you have the cash, you’re mad.’
Sailor: ‘Don’t ‘av any cash left Sir…haha!’
Officer: ‘We’ve obly been back three weeks, what on earth have you spent six months worth of salary on?’
Sailor: ‘Nights on the piss and whores Sir!’ *proud grin*
My mate said it took him half an hour to shake off his horror. $60k. Gone. On ‘piss and whores’. In 3 weeks.
Ironhalo I bet he was NAFI as well!
jesus forget the bank , how about making an apointment with a psychiatrist
Or a GP, for a prescription to cure that nagging itch.
Other bogan stuff to explore?
Gloria Jean’s
Michel’s Patisserie
Starbucks
Max Bremmer Chocolate Shops
Hillsong Christian Churches
Michel’s Patisserie, for sure. I enjoy the way they try to make their ads have a whiff of the continental about them, but the reality is a 5x5m square box in the mall of a suburban shopping centre. Petrified pies from 500BC passed off as gourmet because they’ve a sprinkling of poppy seeds on top. Enjoy with a side serve of salmonella on some browning iceberg lettuce and a mealy-looking tomato, and you’re on your way to dining in style. Eat up!
yeah, that place is WAY gross…
Hilarious post! I used to work in the mining industry as an environmental adviser and mine sites are an epicenter of bogan activity. The bogans or “rock apes” as we used to refer to them, called those in my profession “tree huggers” or “enviro poofs” and would complain furiously when we wouldn’t let them bulldoze virgin bushland whenever they pleased. Whenever we had to give a presentation to their work group it was like trying to talk to a year 9 detention class.
more likley parasite or scam artist
Great post, as a Perth dweller I was waiting for a story like this. One advantage of the mining boom was that it sent the bogans up north for a few weeks at a time, getting them away from the city. When they came back they would only go to the casino which I avoid like the plague. Another characteristic of the bogan miner is that it loves to drop into a conversation how much “sick coin” they’re earning on the mines no matter what the subject is for discussion they can’t resist bragging about it.
Another key bogan Characteristic, telling everyone there salary like thats the only thing that matters in life , its like i don’t care how much your making youll waste it on shit anyway
I can vouch for this as well. I was once approached in the street by a gentleman waving a $100 note around. He asked me if I had change for a hundred, and before I could reply he walked off laughing and mocking me.
I have no issues being poor, if being rich means you have to act like that.
Sam, I beg to differ. I live in perth and I’m from Cottesloe and I see plenty of bogans that lurk in Peppermint Grove and Dalkeith. Actually, I see more there than I do in Leederville and Mt Lawley. Peppermint Grove and Dalkeith boasts the likes of Zanrobe wearing, white croc skin pointy shoes, AFL loving, club bay view going crowd. The type to grope you on the dance floor and loudly proclaim how much money their father makes in order to get you into bed. For the females that reside in these places they do their upmost to look wealthy, hanging Tiffany and Co Jewellry off themselves and only shopping at scanlan and theodore.
This to me is the new bogue-vulger and commercial. Cringe. Go to “the Cott” and you will see exactly what I mean.
fair enough h, I hear you.
However, “The Cott” is not a cross section of the Western Suburbs set, bogans from all ‘burbs flock there on Sundays unfortunately.
How about this then – the severity/offensiveness of bogan increases the further from the Peppy Grove/Dalkeith core that you dare to travel. Your snob bogan is not likely to glass you or to have a HSV ute with a motor cross bike on the back.
you guys have declared all 5 suburbs that make up the metropolis that is Perth bogan invested, methinks you need too move elsewhere!
I reckon you are a Canning Vale or far north beachside suburb (Mullaloo, Mindarie) kinda bloke.
Be honest now, how many of the following do you have:
V8
jet ski
dirt bike
tattoo
Dear God Brad….
Please tell me you meant to type”
‘infested’ and ‘to’…………
Two words:
Spell. Check.
LOL. No, he meant “invested”.
kris-name of bogan
Haha that made me laugh because its oh so true! Unfortunately I was a victim to this “mining boom” phenomenon but I only worked remotely for a year and a bit to earn money for a European holiday, which was kinda worth it. Now I’m a trainee cop, so thankfully I’m out of that messy messy, bogan infested environment. But yeah, you would not believe the utes with ridiculous numberplates and excessively large home entertainment systems. Oh, and don’t forget the pool table that doubles as a bar/bed/drinking game table.
you may come across a few bogans once you start working as a cop…
A few of my neighbours are mining bogans who love nothing better than to boast about how much money they make in their ‘fly in fly out’ jobs. However the reality of the situation is that their bored bogan wives spend most of it while they’re away trying to outdo each other. The mining bogans will return home & start screaming ‘YA SPENT FARKIN’ HOW MUCH ON A FARKIN’ BALI HUT??!!’
A bit off topic but how about Things Bogans Hate = People with tertiary qualifications…
So are they all doin’ each other’s missuses on the two weeks off? While Darren’s away and Shane’s at home who’s seeingto the plumbing and gutters?
Not ‘Guys who went to uni?’ Those fuckin’ . . .
Yep, the old fence jumpers!
OMO in the window and all that…
But by the same token there is a lot of “key parties” that go on in the towns….
Hahahaha, the reactions are hilarious when you tell them you study at uni, like a cobra they prop back and screw up their pug faces in preperation for an attack. Some more gentle probing about universities or a mention of your course or units generally agitates the bogan to a point where it resorts to hissing violent obscenities. (I must warn, if the bogan is in close proximity, beware of bourbon breathe or the accidental spilling of their beverage, it seems the bogan is unable to unleash a fiery tirade and maintain decent control of motor skills at the same time)This reaction doesn’t take long at all, typical retorts include, “Arrrgg, f*ckn uni students”. “lazy f*cks go out and get a job, work for a living” (strange, but it seems they think their is a perfect correlation between manual labour and employment) and my favourite “uni students need to get out in the real world” as if it is some mystical, magical place that can only be reached through enlightenment in boganism.(The more times they say ‘real world’ in their reply the funnier it is)
So, what the hell was I doing for 20 hours a week (in a shitty call centre job surrounded by bogans) while studying if it wasn’t working? I turned up (at 7am on Saturday and Sunday), worked, they paid me. Sounds like work and the “real world” to me
There are plenty of bogans getting tertiary qualifications.
engineering = modest skill set?
it’s usually a four or five year degree with harder maths than what the maths students do. if engineering is modest, then so is medicine
Not an engineer are we Matt? – TBL
haha, not yet (studying). and maybe I am being a bit precious :-p but putting engineering in the same sarcastic sentence as “holding a traffic sign” is a bit ignorant. try having 28hrs of class each week in addition to study/reading while your friends doing commerce or law have 12. then when you graduate it takes at least another year of placement before you are certified as an engineer. it’s not just something anyone can do.
I would still consider a 26 year old bloke with a 4 year Eng degree to be modestly qualified if he’s earning $500 a day. The point of including engineering is that it’s not just tradies and truck drivers that head to the mines and go hyper bogan. TBL
LOL. Or would want to.
maybe not. but you wouldn’t have cars, power stations or plasma tvs if engineers hadn’t designed them.
Ouch. You’ve just put a huge enviro-target on your back, Matt. Better take cover from the slings and arrows of outraged ETS protestors.
Chin up matt. play your cards right and you can pull a lot more than $500 before lunch each day and do it from some of the greatest cities in Europe and around the world….or from Perth.
TBL has a valid point about the inclusion of engineers. Many of them turn bogan up north. He is just misguided about the “modestly qualified” part.
LOL. Engineering is a bogan qualification because it’s vocationally oriented. Only people with higher degrees in the liberal arts (like me) are truly unbogan-like. TBL will agree.
LOL. Obviously not medicine or law. You would have told us about it if that were the case.
I guess $500 a week is closer to your mark then.
LOL. I already said, I majored in the Classics. It’s the only worthwhile field of study. For those of us who don’t need to perform menial tasks to earn a living, I mean.
LOL. “I already said, I majored in the Classics.” You said it 15mins after my post.
LOL. You obviously failed your rhetoric unit…and possibly your arithmetic too!
LOL. NASA engineers = menial tasks. Divorce law = worthwhile pursuit.
Your posts, Fiona of “Toorak”, are definitely on the nose. Either you received your liberal arts degree in the first half of the 20th century or you don’t actually have one. Classics indeed. Methinks you have the whiff of an imposter about you, you “higher-degree” hussy.
Oh dear. The sar-chasm is an equal opportunity peril…
We make an exception for Fiona of “Toorak” :)
I kind of love her because it’s tone-deaf wannabe satire to the extent that her suckiness is the performance art bit.
Oh dear, Fiona of “Toorak”; liberal arts now covers many vocation-oriented programs, such as communications, media, journalism, public relations … And what a load of codswallop that people studying for a vocation are all bogans. I certainly hope my next surgeon has been vocationally trained, and not just done a course in “Medicine: What even is that thing?”
The good news: Life’s answers can be found both inside and outside the navel! I recommend moving your gaze every now and then.
is high class hostess bogan?
hahaha… not to mention having been involved in student politics and student unionism…
bitch, I have both a MFA (music) and an MBE (civil). one of them took 4hrs work a week for honors, guess which? you are a great troll tho fiona, lawl :)
Sam you are the worst type of bogan-you are what is commonly known as a “cigar smoker”.Made your first 150k in a year after all those hard years of study(thanks mum/dad) now your a master of the universe and you can pay out on all those dumb blue collars who used too monster you at the local beer barn,and at the end of the week when your cokin with your fellow masters you can light up a cigar and say “fuck im a clever cunt”
brad, I thought we were past our differences, I thought we were a team…I thought…you liked me :'(
it’s always about the swearing and the violence isn’t it brad. The bogans AK-47 and B52. Do you “monster people” at the pub brad?
No paying out on the blue collars from me, only paying out on the bogans. That is why you want to “monster” me.
sorry sam just a bit of tounge in cheek ranting,happy travels mate,who knows? next time im in Perth(i have very close friends in nollamara) we could have a jar or 2,though i dont travel Perth side as much since the jacks closed down the club-house.
Patched member brad?
You’ll understand when you’re older Matt. You need to spend 10+ years shuffling papers as an inner city office drone before you can earn valuable skills and feel important. Then you can top it off with a one year masters in management or similar mickey mouse degree and feel just as smart as the bogan engineers with their “modest” five years of undergrad study and fancy pants maths and science knowledge.
LOL. Let me clarify. I meant to add “… in the Classics”.
Keep digging that niche. Why stop at the classics. Surely you can come up with a degree in a narrow field of study completed only by people named Fiona who also happen to believe they live in Toorak? Or perhaps that wouldn’t all fit on the parchment.
Stop feeding the troll paddington!
*chuckle* I know, I know. I’ve fallen into its trap. But it’s so easy to pick holes. OK, I promise I’ll sit on my hands from now on … it’s going to be hard though …
LOL. I have that effect on men. :-)
Ho, step down. Your trolling is piss weak and not even funny. I’d tell you to go back to /b/, but you’d have been eaten alive.
Dear Fiona of “Toorak”, who said I was a man? Or that, indeed, you aren’t?
Sam you are not likely to be glassed in dalkeith/claremont but if you go to Wembley, Mt Hawthorne, East Perth you are also not likely to get glassed either. I think it’s a rather presumptuous call to disregard all suburbs outside the golden triangle as bogan as I believe you can find plenty of bogans in this western suburb core.
Even though I was born/bred in Cottesloe I like to steer clear of these areas a lot of the time and head to places where there is more culture and style e.g. Leederville, North Perth. Frequenting the western suburbs and refusing to venture out of Delkeith and Peppermint Grove is just too cliche for words.
Old Money does not automatically equal class.
Fair points h.
I was not born into the golden triangle.
I am sticking to my guns though. Head north to Scabs, south to Freo, east to Armadale and what do you get?
I think that the inclusion of engineers as a modest skillset isn’t neccersarily right however it is for the most part a bogan occupation. It is particuarly noticable at the mine I work at, however I think it is more so ‘old school’ rather than noveau bogan. This is best demonstrated by the engineering clubs on campuses that listen to old school rock and roll, couldn’t give a toss about what they look like and only drink from a can preferably the local cheapo (ie emu export). Apologies for any spelling mistakes, you will have to forgive me as I am an engineer and as you know we aren’t the best spellers going around.
LOL. You could have corrected that with a thorough grounding in the Classics – easily attainable with a higher liberal arts degree.
Who calls them a ‘liberal arts’ degree? Are you a yank? If not, make a post in one of these classical languages or gtfo.
LOL. You wouldn’t understand it if I did. Like all the lesser people, you struggle with English.
Double degrees are available in the Classics and Engineering. Usually takes 12 to 18 months longer than modest engineerng degree.
Sam, I do agree about scarborough, armadale etc haha. You have to give some other suburbs in Perth a chance though before you label them a bogan suburb….
I think there needs to be a seperate entry for the wives of these miners…”miners Wives” as it were…easy to pick in the mining towns as they are the ones sitting outside the cafe eating pav and drinking diet coke and dripping with chunky (and tacky!) gold jewellery.
There also needs to be distinction between real miners (in other words ones that underground) and the gravel scratchers that are grossly overpaid for the simple job of driving trucks!
(Don’t know about WA, but am speaking from experience of the QLD coal mining towns)
Gravel scratchers?
Rather be one of those than a tunnel rat.
Pix, they’re “landscapers”.
I work in the mines. The average bogan is a genuine fellow. Mostly harmless. I just wish the airlines would introduce dress standards. I really do not want to be sitting next to a huuuuuge bogan in a singlet showing off his cheap tattoos. At least make them wear something with sleeves.
The airlines have cut back on the grog, now let them cut back on bad taste.
Oh,I have learnt of the one thing that the huuuuuuge bogan is scared of. The huuuuuuger Maori guy.
One word from one of those guys makes the aforementioned bogan shake in his boots.
The huuuuuge bogan scared of the huuuuger Maori guy! I’ve seen that in person on Qantas, Mick!
Big bogan miner tried to make conversation with the Maori bloke seated next to him. Maori blocke looked at him as if to indicate, “Did you mistake me for someone who cares, mate?”, and the bogan literally shrank away him and turned the other way, and proceeded to mind his own business for the rest of the flight.
Oh dear, now that I have started I can’t stop.
I have a good deal. I work two weeks on, two off. I cannot tell the other FIFO fellows this. They work four or six weeks on for one off. Blokes like me are a threat to their superiority attitude because I have it better than them.
A violent response can occur.
This post makes me so happy. Having known several FIFO families intimately and watching them cycling between being horribly poor to spending like drunken bogans I can’t commend the writer strongly enough on this piece pure comedy gold!
The worst thing though is that the miners really believe they’re so damned important and then chuck it when they get sacked or hurt. The fact of the matter is that they’re the lowest cogs in a giant money making machine and they are expendable. They only get paid so much because anyone with an ounce of intelligence would be doing any other job on earth.
I had fun growing up in Freo which at the time was an immigrant ghetto. Now it’s full of richies and cashed up guidos/guidettes wearing Ed Hardy. Thank f*&k I left WA.
Some dreadfully classist people here. How do I go about working in one of these high paying low skillset mining jobs for a summer between uni years?
G-day all,
Some very interesting pionts of views on here …. one thing i have noticed is there are a lot of so called “non – bogan’s” on this bogan website talking about bogans and what bogans do or dont do ……. I think that speaks for itself !…..anyone have a mirror !…..
I know a lot of guys who work in the mines who are not bogans I think allot of people here just don’t have a life so they wish to complain about others. These so called bogans a the hardiest workers ive ever met working 12 hours plus a day in the hottest crappy conditions they deserve the big money as its a hard life out there. These guys work extremely hard for there money who cares what they spend it on. And what makes you guys so special to juge these people gees I think you guys need to meet these people and see how hard they work and the conditions they live and work in while there on site before you sit on your ass on the computer bad mouthing them good on them I say not many people can handle the mines .
While repeating the same point four times in a row proved invaluable in helping us to understand your message, we feel we’ve failed you. While most readers of this site understand the difference between “things bogans like”, and “if you like this, you are a bogan”, putting it at the start and end of every post could have saved you your unsightly rant. TBL
where’s mick? he needs to respond to this one.
Sorry I was late to arrive p’bee…I’m on a break from the bogans so golf and beer are getting in my way.
TBL. Your book is all over the mines now. It would seem that it is a very good christmas present You’ll have a lot more attacks like this. Just send them my way. I love telling them how it is and to grow a set…
Shane, would you prefer it if a mining type replied to you? A Pilbera mining type…where the bogans are the biggest in the country.
I wish to point out that the average worker in these places is not the hardest working you will ever see. The mining game is the easiest job I’ve ever had. What the place is full of is bogan slackers trying to dodge work while complaining about how hard it is…then complaining about how they’re not paid enough for their slacking because it’s hot. Accept it, we’re not worth what we’re paid. In a couple of years time after China goes bust, we’ll all be back to ‘normal’ jobs. I do hope you handle reality better then than you do now.
Personally, I think anybody could handle working at the mines(except underground-I won’t hear a bad word on them). It’s the bogans and their incessant whining that make the job hard. It’s probably a bogan orientated field because only bogans would put up with other bogans as their only company for day after day after day after day…
Mick, what’s the bludgiest job in the mines? I might apply for that.
Ash, I would say owning the mine. The owners seem to spend a lot of time talking and not much else.
They’re all making millions by accident. When I first went there I was all excited about how good and well run it would be. Nope, just as badly organised as anywhere else. Thank God for the Chinese and their cash.
And the best bit about being the owner? You still get to walk around in flouro and pretend you’re a bogan.
Hmmm, tempting, but I’m really looking for something that’s more appropriate for a dude with a full high school education (probably too much) and only one arrest on his record.
I have seriously considered it, I’ll admit – there’s never a stretch where I don’t need money, and I don’t really like having my parents paying for my uni studies when I mostly bludge them anyway to read the stuff I want to.
Only one arrest? I reckon two out of every five in the camps are wanted by police elsewhere. You need to try harder.
Some sort of machine operator would be the go. Not out doing the hard work but relatively good dollar. I wouldn’t do it but I’m an arrogant elitist. Should be good for a sharkies boy though. (Cheap shot…I’ve been one too since the Sorensen brothers days)
WHAT THE! omg! oh how you have no idea. there is no such thing as an “owner” of the mines. anyone that works on the mines knows that its owned by the SHAREHOLDERS (multiple parties). far out ! How long u been up there for mate? 2 days! hahaha
Ah, the typical response. Attack the messenger for having not enough experience (I think three years is enough to get a grip on things), or just ridicule them as not knowing the game. Cheap pointscoring.
I’ll accept your point on owners. I indulged in some literary licence. Let’s say major shareholders. Or even better, the ‘public face’ of the mining industry. You must know them. They were the ones who told lies to the media during the mining tax debate.
Tom and Shane, why is it that you cannot accept that there are other industries out there that put in a hard day’s work? I’ve seen it. Others I work with have seen it. Mining industry is no different to any other.
It’s the same old story. Lots who work with their hands think that anyone who works in an office wouldn’t know what a hard day at work is…usually the types who found ten years of school hard. I know lots of desk jockeys who come home a lot more frazzled than I do.
It’s all relative. I’ve worked 28 years in the field. If I had to write a report at a desk my head would explode. I would never consider doing it. So working with my hands is my only option. And like all folk, I’m finding ways to hurt my body less. That’s why I have the job I do now. It’s easier than what I was doing.
And unlike the bogan, for me, this is just a stepping stone. Mining is not the be all and end all. I’ve got better things in mind. They may be more demanding jobs I’m chasing but the rewards are way bigger than what Oz mining can give me.
Rant and rave as much as you like. I meet blokes like you two in the camps on a regular basis. Some are willing to hear an alternate point of view, some let their egos get in the way. I suspect you two would be the ones in the wet mess who were glaring at me from the next table when i was having my say.
You seriously have no idea about the mines, although you claim to know about it. i’ve been in the mining industry for the past 10years. i don’t know what work you do, but what i do is hard yakker. no way ‘everybody’ could handle it in the mines. i’ve seen blokes come here for there induction and choose to fly out that evening cause they can’t handle it…
\
all i see on this page are comments from the name “mick” and obvious comments flaunting the fact that you’re a miner but you’re giving out the wrong idea.
a “real” miner doesn’t brag about being in the mines.
so a ‘real’ miner doesn’t brag about it, but you’re…bragging about it. guess you’re not a real miner, either.
please read comment again….
Think about what point i am trying to get across… i said “10yrs experience” for the simple fact to prove i know what i’m talking about/prove a point.
if you can’t comprehend this, then i feel sorry for you. you are clearly picking at little segments in my comments (high school $hit) and not understanding my main point… neee way, i’ve had enough of talking to 16y’o on the net today..
bye – please don’t reply
it was just a comment on the dumb use of ‘real’ to give yourself legitimacy and take it away from someone daring to have a different opinion. that kind of attempt at separation and distinction is an intellectually lazy alternative to a proper response.
THIS ONE GETS MY VOTE FOR BEST POST! GW MICK :)
Shane is a bogan name, no matter which way it is spelt (shane or Shayn)
I don’t think Twiggy is pretending…….
Thank you Sir. That was a genuine LOL moment.
Mick you’re saying its easy the people I know work in the drilling side of mining both underground and above. They all started out as offsiders and some are still off siding. My father in law works for a recruitment company and said they go through so many people just for the simple fact most people can’t handle the heat or 12 plus hours a day hard labour. I’ve not once herd these guys complain lots of people ask them what it’s like and they all say bloody good money but be prepared to work for it. As for being Bogans I think not two off them a under 30 and already have fully paid off houses HMMM that’s really Bogan lol. I really hope people don’t listen to you and think cool ile go get paid shit loads and it’s going to be easy, because they going to get a big slap to their face once they start lol. As for me I’m a roughneck meaning I work on oil rigs most guys I work with also have worked in the mines so I know what I’m on about make no mistake people it’s not easy.
I have to fly back to the mines tomorrow so I really didn’t need this but hey, what the hell?
I’ll agree there’s a high turnover. I don’t believe it’s because of the work. There’s many reasons for it.
1. Most only go there for a short time to earn a dollar, put it in the bank, then reclaim a lost life.
2. Quite a few can’t impose any sort of self-control on themselves and hold back on the grog or drugs. This will earn them an early flight out.
3. Same as 2 but replace grogs and drugs with fighting.
4. Most don’t read the contract before they go and find out the big dollar is not as big as they first thought.
5. Recruitment companies are bastards.
6. Place is full of bogans. It is nigh on impossible to get a conversation that doesn’t involve footy, Holdens or 18-year-old Thai hookers.
Shane, hard work is hard work anywhere. Just because it’s mining doesn’t mean it’s harder than anywhere else. I’ve found exactly the opposite…except, as I said earlier, for the underground boys. They deserve everything they get.
What I’ve found is that the average mining bogan is so lost in his awesomeness that he doesn’t see that he’s just doing another job. The sooner they realise this the better. This will mean I can do my own job instead of covering for the slack bastards.
don’t worry Shane. this bloke has seriously NO IDEA about the mines. i’ve read his comments and felt embarrassed for him.
Maybe we need to use something along the lines of ‘blue collar worker’ for ‘bogans’ who pay off their houses. A distinction needs to be made so we don’t confuse them with the ute driving, xbox playing, binge drinking stripper gawking gambling bogans.
It’s just a thought…
Alright boys, enough arguing. What you guys need is an independant 3rd party, who can go and work out there and judge if it’s tough or not. I’m happy to do it if there’s jobs going ;)
My first serious boyfriend was a typical Shire Bogan. Back in the eigties he said he was going to work in the mines one day and make a fortune (enough to buy a house outright). Twenty five years later he is no longer my boyfriend and hasn’t made it to the mines yet. He’s now renting out Liverpool way !
There’s a little bogan in all of us, some are just more full on bogan than others. Plus it is so uncool to be so nerdy and picky, and it’s definitely evil to be so intolerant/judgemental that so many people on this blog seem to be. Started by the blogger himself. Seems just like jealousy to me, very uncool and sad, get a life. There is a word for such arrogant, uptight people who makes a fool out of themselves. Dickheads. And you know what, you are more bogan than all real bogans put together. You are just like a bunch of rude judgemental uneducated “rednecks”.
We are all Bogan in Australia, its part of the cool, Down to Earth vibe. No one want’s to be a nerd. We are only nerdy when we have to be, in the office or in business.
No one has complained about this before. Also definitely not in Perth. This is what Australia is. It is because of this that we are happy go lucky and we are not uptight. If you don’t like it, then don’t come here. You on the other hand, are mostly unskilled middle lower class office workers, who can’t make it in your own country, and we give you a chance to come here.
… to sum it up while your all here commenting on the “bogans” wages, assets and the size of their wallets.. there’s one possible thing overlooked… they are out working while your sitting here jealous of their prosperous situation helping prop our poor economy…. without the “bogan” you probably wouldn’t be where you are today.
No, I have a PhD in Finance from Wharton. I’m doing quite nicely without any bogan assistance, thanks very much.
I would not mind working out in the mines. Extremely good wages, albeit very long tedious working hours. Set you up for life. After all, creativity generally comes from poverty or wealth. The middle class are the consumers of such creativity, not the producers. Naturally this is a generalisation.
One cannot help but notice the coincidence of the impending downturn in the resource sector and the plethora of bogan charriots parked on busy intersections with cardboard “4 Sale” signs displayed on the dashboard. A glance at the second hand classifieds shows a similar trend of oversupply of jet skis, quad bikes and Harley Davidsons. The bogan is clearly desperate to liquidate some of its prized posessions.
Despite the changing fortunes of the bogan one thing remains unwaverring. That is their total lack of class when out in public whether it be the local shopping precinct, a nice cafe or the Qantas Club. The uniform is always the same, fluro if within three hours of start or finish of work, Bintang singlets and faux camouflage shorts in summer and the never tiring flannelette shirt for the colder months.