#61 – (Even More) Ed Hardy

11 01 2010

We were wrong.

When we first started Things Bogans Like, we figured that a few cheap shots at Ed Hardy would be appropriate. After, all, we could see, firsthand, the encroachment of Ed Hardy replacing the briefly-flaming Von Dutch as the nouveau bogue uniform of choice. We witnessed the incidences of garishly dressed folk stalking what are quaintly referred to by local police as ‘nightclub precincts’ in all major cities of Australia. This, despite the best efforts of governments who have tried to ban alcohol from all venues that have tigers painted on the walls.

But we have made a discovery. We were wrong. Ed Hardy is no mere clothing line. Little did we know the staggering branding juggernaut that Ed Hardy had rapidly become.

Ed Hardy is a bowling alley. It is a vodka. It is a perfume. It is – wait for it – an energy drink. Bogans, it seems, simply cannot get enough Ed Hardy. Not satisfied with strange clothes, the bogan now, after a day at the gym or tanning salon, wants nothing more than heading down to the Ed Hardy bowling alley. It will play a few games while putting away a few HardyBombs (it bears mentioning at this point that, because of the equally successful branding attached to Jagerbombs, all bogan alcoholic drinks must now be an explosive of some kind) before heading next door to listen to cover bands pump out the latest tune by Kings of Leon at the ‘Rock’ Bar.

This is true inspiration on the part of the evil geniuses at Ed Hardy. A vodka and an energy drink. All with brightly coloured tigers splashed on every available square inch of packaging. But it gets better – the energy drink is marketed as a ‘celebrity energy drink’. Wait…that noise you just heard was the sound of about 200,000 bogans simultaneously soiling themselves in quivering excitement at the sheer notion of a celebrity energy drink (in massive cans) with colourful tigers.

But it doesn’t end there. With bogans, it never, ever, does. Ed Hardy also lend their name to beer, wine, baby clothes, snowboards, motorbike helmets, watches, an air freshener, iPhone covers, car seat covers, handbags, sheets, towels, a cologne, pet accessories, sunglasses, hookahs (seriously), tobacco (for the hookahs – including the forthcoming ‘Pirate’s Cave’ flavour!), lanyards, stubby holders, cigarette lighters, luggage, stationery, computers and computer cases, acrylic nails, gumboots, tanning lotion, ugg boots, umbrellas, wallets and purses, greeting cards, guitars (acoustic and electric), bowling bags (mandatory at the bowling bar), shower curtains, curling irons and hair straighteners, calendars and ski goggles. All covered with the skulls and cartoon evil that makes the bogan feel simultaneously tough and cutting edge.

The bogan, wanting to be ahead of the game that everyone else is playing, is on a mission to drape itself in as much Ed Hardy merchandise as possible, in much the same way they will buy up Kings of Leon’s old albums, in an effort to tie themselves to a band they were aware of only three weeks prior.

The spread of Ed Hardy may not ever end. Or, more likely, the bogan will grow weary of Ed Hardy, particularly when the nascent move of bogans into the flannel/country shirt spreads, making the overt garishness of horned, flaming animals suddenly tasteless in bogan eyes. Thus, flannel shirts will start coming in bright orange. And the cycle begins anew, as Mr Audigier looks to the next foregone cultural trend to pilfer.


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123 responses

11 01 2010
Beck

Babywear? That’s horrific!

11 01 2010
Annette

Devil’s advocate here – babies love bright colours. Old-school tattoos… not so much.

11 01 2010
Beck

*chuckle* Babies also aren’t averse to vomit. Ed Hardy = visual vomit. Perhaps it is appropriate after all.

15 02 2010
Carlos the Jackal

If a baby puked all over its Ed Hardy jumpsuit, would anybody notice?

8 02 2010
travo

Ed Hardy Vodka….get drunk, glass a cunt and look stylish all at the same time.

11 01 2010
AB

Ed Hardy Air Freshner?!?! I have to see that to believe it. I can’t even begin to imagine what it might smell like. Standard Air Freshner is a bogan-only product, as bogans seem to think that making their house smell like a public toilet is a more effective way to refresh a room than simply opening the windows. Although opening windows itself presents problems in bogan homes, as this lets out the air conditioning, which is essential for a scarily cheap home built in some housing estate with a name ending with the words “Springs, Grove or Meadows” which has no eaves and no surrounding trees to provide any effective relief from the unrelenting sun.

11 01 2010
Annette

Those cheaply built (and ludicrously marked-up) houses abound in Rockhampton. Rockhampton! Desert dry for 2/3 of the year, monsoon humidity and heat for the rest! What happened to verandahs? Retro-bogans in sleep-outs were better than THIS.

11 01 2010
Kimba

Come to the Central Coast in NSW some time. These Clonetowns are springing up everywhere, it’s really quite depressing.

11 01 2010
Right and proud

Yeah, especially up in the Wyong Shire! That is where your noveau bogans will move. The old bogans congregate around Woy Woy and the peninsula area, smoking their Winnie Blues and drinking their VB long-necks in their flannos, bless ’em.

11 01 2010
pominoz

it was a bit of a culture shock for a pommie who slummed it in Balmain for 2 years before moving to the Central Coast, i feel like an extra in Deliverance!

11 01 2010
Kimba

Yeah I noticed there is massive colony up near Sparks Rd, looks quite horrific it does. The great Australian dream in all its glory!

11 01 2010
Paddington

Actually, I think the whole country is now one big bogan bath house, and those not willing to participate are forced to hold their noses against the whiff of wanton “westiness”.

11 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

The houses in these estates are made from rendering Esky material plus MDF – #fail, #fail (oops, reverted to twitterese)

11 01 2010
MissT

It’s for sale on the motoring section of your nearest K-Mart. Be prepared to hurt yourself whilst laughing at it all (there’s a giant wall of Ed Hardy crap all there)

11 01 2010
Indi

The death of the eave is an interesting phenomenon which perfectly exemplifies the worst bogan-think. It’s driven partly by fashion for a slightly more ‘Georgian’ look and partly by cost. Most mass market builders will give you what was standard on all their houses until four or five years ago as an extra ‘feature’ which will add tens of thousands to the price. So despite this, all new houses can a acheive the mandatory five star rating by installing a solar hot water panel, and insulation. (Incidentally, the rendered esky building actually perform pretty well, it’s the standard brick veneer which has the worst performance, particularly after a string of hot days)

11 01 2010
bg

Builder friend of mine tells me the death of the eave is council planning regulations. Most councils permit a building no closer than x cm from the boundary, but their measurement is from the eave, not the walls, so these houses are built with no eave, meaning bigger houses on the same (or smaller) blocks

11 01 2010
Indi

Well, sometimes 900mm makes all the difference. It’s usually measured from the wall as a ‘fire source’. It does bad things not just for sun protection but also places the gutter directly over the face of the wall and the window and door heads. It’s the first place that overflows.

11 01 2010
Jasper

Sweet Jesus. I just clicked on one of the links that took me to Ed Hardy land. My eyes!! The humanity!

11 01 2010
Taila

Yes, I have seen those pine tree swinging things that you hang on the rear vision mirror of the car…but Ed Hardy, and a massive tyre cover for the spare tire on the back of a four wheel drive. Sooo unattractive

11 01 2010
Ironhalo

Ed Hardy…a soon to be forgotten flash in the pan. Thank God.

11 01 2010
Paddington

Before Ed Hardy there was Mambo … A vacuum is always filled by something else, unfortunately. I wonder what the next bogashion will be.
PS: What was before Mambo? Was it gansta rapper concert Tshirts, worn despite never seeing a gangsta rapper, much less in concert?

11 01 2010
M E Nelson Esq

I remember the Mambo T-shirts. The bogan could really show his level of crassness by wearing the one with the ‘poo-shooter’ on it.

11 01 2010
Deboganator

I remember a Mambo shirt once with an illustration on the back of two lobsters (I think they were lobsters) having sex (or trying to).

The lipstick on the female lobster was, er, a nice touch.

11 01 2010
Paddington

There was also a lot of widdling depicted on Mambo Tshirts. Someone had a wee fetish, I fear.

13 01 2010
Ghengis

Mambo was far more trad-bogan. I wanted one of their shirts back in the day. (but I was 6, and listened to the Backstreet Boys)

13 01 2010
Paddington

To my mind, Mambo was where the jumped-up bogan started, when blokes were willing to spend wads of cash on a Tshirt that depicted a dog piddling on stuff. I would have thought the trad bogan wouldn’t have been seen dead in Mambo because you could buy both a flannie and a Jackie Howe singlet for less that $20 at Kmart.

13 01 2010
Fnaah

Before Mambo there was Hypercolour, and before that there was Ken Done.

14 01 2010
Paddington

True! I’d forgotten about Hypercolour *shudder*. And Ken Done. Done to death, but still raises his head every now and again with that other 80s delight, Jenny Kee and her oversized, train-wreck jumpers.

14 01 2010
StuManChu

The Guy that did all the Mambo designs, Reg Mombassa, now designs Wine labels, the wine is great, but I’m not sure the Bogan would care. Like Ed Hardy products, the bogan will purchase it because of it’s colourful label & because it make’s them feel fashionable & cultured. I think that TBL should perhaps look into Wine Wankery as possible post. Whilst their taste buds have been destroyed by the Pre-Mixed Ed Hardy booze (in massive cans) and had their sense of smell dulled by the regular inhalation of exhaust fumes from their toys, the bogan will proudly rip out a bottle Grange and (verbatim from the label) describe it’s flavour profile and dismiss anything that’s not Grange as ‘Poofter Juice’. Oh and the missus will only drink ‘Sav Blonk’ if it’s from Marl-Bra… Thoughts?

Valid, Stu. We’ll put it on our list of possible topics. TBL

11 01 2010
SheikYerbouti

“Celebrity” Energy Drink?

Anyone watching “Tool Academy” on summer TV? One of the guys on it – Clarence – calls himself “Celebrity.” As in, as a christian name.

Ahhh… these things make me feel like the elite – its all relative.

11 01 2010
Lee

I watched a few minutes of this appalling show. I nearly killed the TV.

11 01 2010
Bec

Haters need to stfu. Tool Academy is the ammunition that third wave feminists have been begging for!

11 01 2010
Kimba

I see all this Ed Hardy branding as a good thing. It makes the bogans stand out in a crowd. That way the rest of us can spot the danger and steer clear of them.

11 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

“Although opening windows itself presents problems in bogan homes, as this lets out the air conditioning, which is essential for a scarily cheap home built in some housing estate with a name ending with the words “Springs, Grove or Meadows” which has no eaves and no surrounding trees to provide any effective relief from the unrelenting sun”

While this is a fair reflection of new estates, older ones (like the one I happen to inhabit) have an abundance of trees, fully grown. Still doesn’t stop the bogan from turning on the airconditioning to artic temperatures during moderate hot spells, and then when it actually gets hot (like today in Melbourne) complain bitterly that the electricity supply cant cope.

This is juxtaposed by the bogan’s winter air freshener – wood burning heaters, which belch out vast quantities of underheated smoke, polluting the neighbourhood and the planet in general.

Doesn’t matter how inefficient these burners are, it give the bogan a belief that his unique McMansion has a certain pioneering rustic charm, and puts him/her/it in touch with the early settlers (no not their parents, who moved into prefab post WWII housing estates), while watching professional poker on their 55 inch plasma.

11 01 2010
shazza

No surrounding trees? What about all those Cocos palms trees?

11 01 2010
Chris of South yarra

#62 – Novelty spare tyre covers on 4wds

11 01 2010
Beck

Such as a cartoon of Ned Kelly brandishing pistols with a “Back Off” splashed across the tyre cover.

11 01 2010
Indi

Yosemite Sam – makes me laugh.

15 02 2010
Carlos the Jackal

I followed a Toyota Prado the other day through a McMansion plantation of the 1970s/’80s with an Ed Hardy spare wheel cover. All it needs now is some frangipani stickers…

11 01 2010
M E Nelson Esq

No…#62 Golf. And here it is..
Yes, like horse-racing, music festivals and any other pursuit which is/was regarded and enjoyed by the more refined and cultured within society, the bogan has ruined golf. The male Bogue-Nouvaux loves golf, it makes him feel ‘real sophistication’ and it doubles up a macho ‘dick swinging’ one-upmanship competion with his mates. Before they even hit the fairways, the first competition is all about who can pull out the biggest and most expensive set of Calloway’s or King Cobra’s out from the back of their SS/XR8 ute. Luckily the bogue has been to the gym to make himself huge so he can actually lift this heavy and oversized set of 18 clubs, of which he will only use 6 (1driver, 3, 5 & 7 irons, sand wedge and putter). The attraction of golf is that they’ve heard that ‘man play golf’, seen it played on television and it looks easy. All you need to know is that you keep hitting the little white ball until it goes in the hole.

Inspite of owning clubs more suited to a PGA player, the bogan golfer is a week-end hack who only plays on buck’s days or boys week-ends. He has no idea of all the rules (What’s ‘out of bounds’?) or course etiquette. The tee shot off the first is sliced, the bogan yells out ‘AH FUCK!’, audible to all within a 3 hole radius and then spots his ball landing on the green of the 9th. He pulls is club buggy onto the green, selects the 3 iron and takes his second shot straight off the green, leaving a huge divot. He does not fill in the divot as he didn’t collect a sand bucket on the way to the 1st tee. (This is not an exaggeration, this has happened!)

Out on the course, he emulates his boganic golf hero, John Daly (the bogan doesn’t like Tiger Woods, initially because he’s black but recently because he has sex with attractive white women), by lighting up a cigarette every second hole. He has no qualms about dropping his cigarete butts all over the tee’s and fairways.

By the 3rd hole, the bogan discovers that golf is not as easy as it is on Wii; it takes patience and skill so the bogan gets a little bored. As everything the bogan does can be made better by alcohol, each bogan hack golfer pulls out the six pack stashed in their huge golf bag. Golf becomes the secondary game played on the fairways, taking a backseat to the drinking games. With stubbies being skulled for having either the worst tee shot or taking the most strokes for the hole, by the 8th hole, each bogan has had enough to drink to become loud, obnoxious and annoying to all other players out on the course. Shouting out ‘Fore!’ just to see other golfers scramble for cover becomes hilarious!

As the bogans get more drunk, their strokes become more errant; tee shots are hooked and sliced onto the fairways of other holes. While golfers on these other holes are trying to play their shots, the bogan disrupts their game and concetraton by walking across their paths. “I gotta play me ball, mate!”, automatically assuming that their next stroke takes priority over the other person who is already addressing their ball and ready to swing.

Thank God they only booked for 9 holes.

11 01 2010
brad

“Thank god they only booked for 9 holes”-gold although i have seen the stumps pulled by the 12th or 13th.You either have worked at a public golf course or have been a party too such antics,methinks the latter!

11 01 2010
M E Nelson Esq

So true about pulling stumps after 12 or 13 holes…that is Gold! I have never played a round with a bogan, but have witnessed all of the above, hence my knowledge. The only thing I have in common with a bogan golfer is that I am a week-end hack, albeit one that knows the rules a bit better and whom fills in his divets!

11 01 2010
Frazer

What about the endless repetition of Happy Gilmore quotes and the attempted happy swing, placing the bogans into fits of hysteria.

11 01 2010
Lee

Golf. The perfect way to ruin a nice walk.

11 01 2010
Sam

The old school bogan ruined public course golf years ago. I am sure the new age bogan has made matters much worse but I haven’t played on a $35 hit and giggle course in years.

Join a private club (keep it quiet but not many bogans do this) or pay the $100 to play on a decent course. The bogan will not often waste 2 x cartons worth of pay on a round of golf.

11 01 2010
jay

the golfing bogans will sometimes try to practice their driving, and only ever their driving: not on a driving range, because it’s too expensive, but at a park. this is another group activity. you can pick them because they need the practice: they really need the practice. (whether they recognise their golfing inadequacy is, of course, problematic. it is more likely an attempt to prove to others, who don’t care, that they are serious golfers.) these bogans really need the practice…and ‘youse [other park users] get out of our way!’ but ‘youse’ cannot because ‘youse’ cannot predict where the bogans’ balls will fall; and nor can the bogans…because the they really do need the practice.
mercifully, their attention span is limited.

12 01 2010
M E Nelson Esq

I saw a bogan practicing golf in a park once, who had brought his Rottweiler along in the hope it’d fetch the golf balls. The fat lazy dog picked up one ball and chewed it to death.

11 01 2010
Nicki

‘Celebrity’ energy drink? That is absolutely hilarious! Thank you for providing my first laugh of the day!

11 01 2010
Simon

Dear TBL, I saw on the weekend your mate Mr Audigier has made his own car which ultra CUB’s can purchase. Look it up, it is a huge Merican Truck tricked up with Maple bar etc, amazing. Also why do Bogans love lanyards so much?

11 01 2010
Beck

Because it makes them feel like roadies. What a ripper, etc.

11 01 2010
15 02 2010
Carlos the Jackal

OMFG – THAT THING IS REVOLTING!!!!!

I just want to run that insipid monstrosity off the road into one of the ‘lakes’ adorning a McMansion plantation – preferably with Monsieur Audigier still in it…

11 01 2010
Bec

The ‘celebrity’ energy drink isn’t that far removed from that shitteous enema of a drink ‘Rockstar’. Beware, though: the Rockstar energy drink is owned by noted hatemonger and American white supremacist Michael Savage. Boycott if you don’t hate humanity.

11 01 2010
Deboganator

Um, Savage is Jewish. So… fail.

11 01 2010
Paddington

Savage is definitely Jewish; good call Deboganator. I guess because he’s a conservative, that’s all it takes for some people to automatically equate him with white supremacy. You know – because all conservatives are fascists, etc and so on … *yawn*

11 01 2010
bec

Yes, and anyone who criticises one person who happens to be conservative is critical of ALL people who happen to be conservative, or of every single tenet of conservatism. Cock-bags like Savage are hardly representative of conservatism, or even of American conservatism.

11 01 2010
Paddington

OK, I’ll tell you what you want to hear: You’re right. I suppose having one of the largest radio audiences in the US isn’t indicative of some sort of representation of conservative listeners. Most of his listeners would simply be those who continue to be so outraged they’d just be compelled to tune in. Every day. Of every year. All that national syndication is in his head. I’ve also heard that The Wiggles’ sales aren’t indicative of their popularity among toddlers. Outrage, I tell you. Thank you for sharing your knowledge of Savage. It could fill a … thimble.

11 01 2010
Bec

I gotta be honest; I come from a family of conservatives and none of them scream the same vitriolic filth that he does. He represents a hardcore extreme – the same audience that crap callback radio addresses in Australia. As of 2006, he had 8-10 million listeners. So what? In a country that has a political breakdown of roughly 130-150 million conservatives, that’s not even close to a valid representation of conservative views. The majority of people are really more moderate than that, and even some hardline conservatives won’t listen to him (including many religious fundamentalists).

11 01 2010
Paddington

Yep. Thank God for Wikipedia, hey. You are truly learned, my friend. About all sorts of things, from many different cultures, it seems, and about people of all walks of life. I am fascinated that you are in a position to make enormous statements such as “the majority of people are …” You should definitely be on someone’s payroll, making strategic decisions based on your vast knowledge of, well, everything. I also enjoy your laissez-faire use of the phrase “religious fundamentalists”. It’s perilously close to that used often on bogan programs such as ‘Today Tonight’, but then, that’s a different kettle of fish, no?

11 01 2010
Bec

Dude, what is your problem? Are all butthurt Michael Savage fans this defensive? I don’t really remember saying anything to prompt being this personal. Or this tl;dr, for that matter.

12 01 2010
Paddington

Who said I was a fan of Savage? You presume – and assume – too much. I’m merely pinching your Achilles heel which, it turns out, is fairly good sport. I won’t poke you with a stick if you don’t pretend you’re speaking from authority when you’re only speaking from opinion. There is, I believe, a distinct difference. Maybe it’s all down to syntax. Throw in a “perhaps” instead of “is” or another absolute and it would make the world of difference. 😉

12 01 2010
Bec

Fine. It’s opinion. Not very measured, educated or experiencedopinion. But it’s not the least measured, educated or experiencedopinion out there.

11 01 2010
bec

Doesn’t preclude him from being white supremacist, especially if he is of the persuasion that he is white. (Which is a whole ‘nother ballpark of identity politics that I don’t really feel like entering into now, not being Jewish and therefore not being an authority.)

His stance against other non-white groups in America fairly classifies him as such. And conservative (at least in the classical sense) doesn’t always = racist. Plenty of the old-fashioned, small-governmental variety of conservative wishes that his ilk would just die in a fire, swiftly.

11 01 2010
Deboganator

Thankyou for meandering into the sunlit uplands of fail, where we can admire your failitude in great detail. It is now indelibly marked on the web that you called a old Jewish homeopath Berkeley grad a “white supremacist”.

Additionally, it is his son who owns the energy drink enterprise, as I just found out. So… additional fail for you.

11 01 2010
Paddington

Would it be crass to laugh? Oh, bugger it. *LARFS* at “sunlit uplands of fail”.

11 01 2010
Bec

Stop. Are you telling me that self-hating white supremacists who aren’t caucasian don’t exist? Check on that.

(And seriously, homeopathy? WTF? Am i supposed to swoon at the thought of someone who believes in the healing power of sugar pills? Pull your finger out.)

11 01 2010
Paddington

Re homeopathy: “Swoon”? Just another day, just another misinterpretation. Or is that red herring? *yawn*

11 01 2010
Bec

And because my religion believes in the healing power of the URL, here:

http://www.splcenter.org/intel/intelreport/article.jsp?aid=73

11 01 2010
Paddington

I hope you sent him this link. I’m sure he’d appreciate your interpretation of the type of person he is. Your knowledge. Knows no … bounds.

12 01 2010
Bec

Okay. It may not apply to him personally, necessarily. But it was argued that it is impossible to be white supremacist and Jewish. I provided a site to the contrary. I’m not the most intelligent or nuanced poster on this board (a nice solid 105 iq and a hokey degree that ultimately took no brain power is proof of that). I’m as much of a piece of shit as anyone mocked on this site, if not moreso. I fall into the sar-chasm with such regularity that I carry around a handy little torch and blanket to keep me warm down there.

12 01 2010
Paddington

Nope. Again with the jumping to conclusions. Deboganator’s post pertained to Savage’s heritage, no one else’s, and it certainly wasn’t an indication of what he/she acknowledges about anti-semitism. You need to tune into nuance, I reckon, but that is only my humble (probably misinformed) opinion. Re the sarchasm: Scoot over. We all end up down there at some stage.

12 01 2010
Bec

You can’t share the ‘chasm. I spend so much time down there that I’ve turned it into a cubby house. Where would I move my mint condition hair mascara and Corey posters? (Hart, not Worthington, btw.)

I am still not entirely convinced by your argument. IMO I would personally qualify him as a white supremacist, even if he’s not as out there or publically acknowledged as such like guys like Hal Turner are.

12 01 2010
Paddington

You’re entitled to your opinion, as long as it’s presented as such and not as a fact. I’m of the opinion that many radio DJs should be gagged, but I recognise that a lot of people wouldn’t share this opinion. Otherwise how do we explain Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O, who I believe are just as revolting as Alan Jones and his ilk. Ah well, all part of life’s rich tapestry, I suppose. Or, rather, hope.

12 01 2010
Bec

If it makes you feel better, revel in the joy that most of our societal institutions are predicated on the fact that some opinions are less equal than others. Or at least that’s why I’m grateful that the sixteen year old girl in the ‘Team Edward’ teeshirt didn’t interpret my foot xrays.

11 01 2010
Slim Jim

This has clearly hit critical mass and the whole thing will implode sometime very soon.

I look forward to it.

11 01 2010
Tubesteak

The plague of the Ed Hardy douche virus has been well documented on http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

The only interesting thing about Ed and Christian is when will the DBag/bogan deem it to be passé

Only time will tell.

Meanwhile us horrified onlookers gasp in horror as curvaceous but bleached and tanned tainted-hotts throw themselves at these juiced up tools

11 01 2010
Simon

Tubesteak, that is truly scary and one of the funniest things I have seen. Good work.

11 01 2010
M E Nelson Esq

This would be the scariest of all TBL blogs to date. I clicked on the Bowling Alley / Rock Bar link and felt sick to my stomach. Could take a leaf out of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterd’s film and fill the place up to capacity with Ed Hardy bogans, lock the doors and burn the place down?

11 01 2010
ThePineapple

You really need to make a book out of all these entries. I feel bogan crass culture needs to be exposed and humiliated on a grander scale.

11 01 2010
hindustan

this. i agree with you 100%. it needs to ridiculed to the point of belittling.

11 01 2010
Emma

Energy drinks! HAHAHA. I love that bogans think they are hardcore for drinking soft drink that is labelled “energy drink”. You might as well drink red cordial with your vodka. Also, despite all these posts about Ed Hardy, I still have no idea who he is and don’t really care.

If, by ‘all these posts’, you mean two, then yes. – TBL

11 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Blog entries, two; posts on blog entries, many.

I, too, have no idea what an “Ed Hardy” is, is it your actual person or an artificial construct?

11 01 2010
Goose

Ed Hardy was/is a tattoo artist who was a pupil of an American tattoo artist by the name of Sailor Jerry Collins. The Ed Hardy/Sailor Jerry style is a mix of American and Japanese styles. Both Sailor Jerry and Ed Hardy were very influential in the development of the industry. The Sailor Jerry style is still one of the most copied styles of tattoo work to this day. Check out http://www.sailorjerry.com/gallery.php to see some examples of the style.

It is a bit of a shame that the history of these guys is getting raped like it is, however Ed Hardy is making a shiteload of money on it, so more power to him I suppose.

11 01 2010
Paddington

Huh. I’m dubious. It appears to me that Sailor Jerry didn’t create anything original – he might have co-opted it, but that style of tattoo has been around for centuries, so I’m not sure how he can claim to be influential in its development. Perhaps he was just the person with enough cheek to put his name to it. I know heaps of old guys with this style of tattoo and they would have been inked before Sailor Jerry even soiled his first nappy. BTW: What sort of a name is Sailor Jerry? Is that a bit … something or other?

11 01 2010
Linda

Ed Hardy is tacky!

Loving the post!

11 01 2010
Jim

I’ve just moved to the Gold Coast for business purposes. Last Thursday I walked through Pacific Fair Shopping Centre to see what all the fuss was about and bumped into Warrick Capper walking out of the Ed Hardy store, decked out head to toe right down to sun glasses. I thought of this site immediately and burst out laughing, I hope I didn’t offend him.

11 01 2010
Linda

I would have loved to had seen that! hehe

11 01 2010
Anthony

If you live in Perth check out the the Ed Hardy shop in the basement level of Perth Myer. I unfortunately stumbled into this Aladdin’s cave of awfulness while shopping in Myer during a lunch break recently.

To top it off there was an individual who was decked out head to toe complete with the worst coloured sunnies I have ever seen which were very helpful in a basement level shop. The jacket this clown was wearing was louder than the coat worn in Joseph & his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. He looked like a pimp on a recruiting drive.

11 01 2010
Indi

Do some women like these clothes? If they’re usually wrapped around a ‘bad boy’ I could sort of see the association of attraction. But they’re usually worn by dickheads. So maybe this is the emergence of men’s fashion which design to appeal to other men – not in a sexualised way, but like custom-made cowboy boots. You can admire each other’s outfits or compliment someone on the good taste (or income) to have bought one you coveted.

11 01 2010
Beck

I think that “man” is incapable of being offended. To be offended, one must first have dignity.

15 02 2010
Carlos the Jackal

Good call on Capper leaving the Ed Hardy store and being laughed at, Beck. Incidentally, I never noticed the Ed Hardy store in the Adelaide Myer Centre until after I read about the brand here.

I guess the walk to Ed Hardy from the tram stop/Hindley Street is shorter than it is to one of the previous bogan hang-outs – the French Connection store…

11 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Ow shit – I thought the bowling alley would be in LA or somewhere else in white trash America.

I am sickened that not only in the same timezone as the bowling alley but the same city.

Christ – it looks like a paint store has vomited.

11 01 2010
FT

I was going to say the very same thing! I am horrified to think that one night, depending on how intoxicated I am, I may inadvertently stumble into one of these fluro hell-holes and be so overwhelmed by the horrific colours/”artwork” that I’ll have some sort of seizure…

Do you think they make medic alert bracelets that say “If found in an Ed Hardy venue, please call an ambulance, as I’m either so drunk I should be dead or I’ve suffered some sort of head injury and need immediate medical attention”?

11 01 2010
Shandarleeer

I think “do not resuscitate” would be better. Cheaper than the years of therapy required after coming too.

11 01 2010
Beck

*chuckle* @ Shandarleer.

11 01 2010
rosewal

I captured this wedding photo, January 2008, outside the flagship store on Chapel Street in Melbourne. Double the bogan http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2032/2208294224_71362397a0_b.jpg

11 01 2010
Paddington

I wonder if they noticed how inappropriate the sentiments are in the artwork. Or perhaps this is the point, in defiance of the wedding ceremony itself. Ain’t no one gonna tame that tiger. Boo hiss.

11 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Is that the groom in the white shoes?

Tell me it aint so?

11 01 2010
rosewal

‘fraid it is true! You’ll note it’s his point of difference from the groomsmen.

11 01 2010
Right and proud

Funny thing is I was at a pub on the North Shore (Sydney) Friday night, and there was a guy there in a brown Ed Hardy shirt. Upon talking to him, turned out his shirt cost $180. I was wearing an Ernie and Bert shirt that cost $20 from K-Mart, and during the day (and night) I got more comments from people saying they liked my shirt!

11 01 2010
Chris from Manly

You think Christian Audigier’s Ed Hardy range is god awful. Well, his spawn, Crystal Audigier has started her own clothing line called ‘Crystal Rock’ which is equally abhorrent. Check out the lovely outerwear – garish has a new representative!

http://shopcrystalrock.com/categories/crystal-rock-outerwear.html

11 01 2010
Beck

Egad; it’s a genetic defect, then.

11 01 2010
FT

hahaha, thanks for that link Chris from Manly. I was mortified by some of the so called “outerwear” from Crystal Rock, but it did lead to a particularly unexpected highlight of my day…

The page of her website dedicated to pants and the like (a.k.a. bottoms) is most appropriately titled “Crystal Rock Bottoms”… hahahahahahaha, I can’t think of a more apt name for such a page.

http://shopcrystalrock.com/categories/crystal-rock-bottoms.html

11 01 2010
Indi

WIth the tabloid tie-in “Lets hit Rock Bottoms”!

11 01 2010
M E Nelson Esq

Crystal rock…sounds like last years designer drug that clubber bogues would take…

13 01 2010
Lana

LOL, i agree,

Then again it could make a comeback..

Shocking really

15 02 2010
Carlos the Jackal

You’d need to smoke a rock of crystal meth to find that wearable…

11 01 2010
Topcrumpet

Why the hell did we ever whinge about tracky daks, tight stonewash, blue singlets, mullets and Moccas?
The modern reality is so much more invasive.

11 01 2010
Paddington

True, Topcrumpet. Things were much simpler when you could tell a bogan from the size of their muffler and the whiff of their uggs.

11 01 2010
Misc

I first discovered the spread of Ed Hardy merchandise beyond merely clothing when someone at work posted an item on the intranet bulletin board a few months ago. She was trying to sell her Ed Hardy Baby Bag. She described it as a stylish (pronounced stoilish) baby bag that can also be used as an every day bag. Apparently she paid $250 for it and was trying to sell it for $180. Then for $160. Then for $140. Then for $100. I never found out if she sold it, but I always like to think that she just got knocked up again and needed it.

12 01 2010
El Tel

Is that Crystal Rock clothing hideous or what? Will there be an Australian flag rhinestone hoody out for 26 January?

13 01 2010
Lana

I would agree its hideous.. Gosh people actually wear that stuff in the name of fashion? almost makes you want to puke in your mouth..

Now now, Please dont be giving the bogans Ideas

Wait..

then again creativity was something they could never fathom with their attention span of a 6 year old.. so rant on.. LOL

19 01 2010
??

now, if this hasn’t killed off ed hardy as a brand, i dont know what will. quick, if you have any, sell or burn

22 01 2010
Tristan
22 01 2010
Kim

I was in a service station the other day and saw Ed Hardy air fresheners for your car. Now you can smell an asshole coming.

10 05 2010
ed hardy slipper

I may inadvertently stumble into one of these fluro hell-holes and be so overwhelmed by the horrific colours/”artwork” that I’ll have some sort of seizure…
design is very special and I like ed hardy series such as T-shirts ,shoes etc.

11 08 2010
19 07 2011
beautifulshoes4u

good

14 08 2011
yulong

Another great characteristic of Tiffany and Co jewelry is that it is rock-solid silver and any buyer can easily feel the weight in their tiffany bangles. Replicas that are still not genuine copies may be quite hollow and light in weight. In the jewelry markets, it is difficult to find jewelry links that are soldered together instead of being squeezed closer to fit such as in tiffany earrings sale. Tiffany’s jewelry carries this feature that is a clear guiding light for buyers who should not easily detect the start and end points of every link.

31 01 2012
Matt

Be aware. They have switched to Henleys. Don’t let them approach.

7 05 2012
mya connor

soo funny i love thes drinks i have 12 in a day

7 05 2012
mya connor

and i love the logo

27 08 2014
Bob

Is the OBEY branded tee shirt destined to follow in the Von Dutch, Ed Hardy lineage of way too tight, ultra thin cotton tee shirts deemed as appropriate bogan evening wear?

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