#17 – The Melbourne Cup

3 11 2009

MELBOURNE CUP CARNIVAL SPECIAL – PT II

Taken from National Geographic…

“Once a year, the Black Grouse South Victorian Crested Bogan congregates in the Azore Islands general admission area of Flemington, off Portugal‘s coast Epsom Road, for their annual rut. Many of these creatures travel several thousand kilometres for about an hour to arrive in mid-spring, for this is the only time of year that the entire Black Grouse Bogan population is in the one place, at the one time.

Here we see two bogans preparing to fight over the same patch of turf...The Black Grouse Bogans are extremely energetic birds and they display constantly. Each male has his own little area into which he tries to entice a female. They make a wonderful turkey-like noise which reaches a crescendo when, periodically, they all display at the same time. They regularly challenge their neighbours, with a different call which sounds like an approximation of “come on then”.  Many fights ensue. Some of this is done for effect when a female passes by, but some is serious and quite vicious.

There are sites where the females tend to congregate, and space near these display areas is fiercely contested. After a number of mock charges one will attempt to escalate from mere display, with the sole intention of establishing dominance over its opponents. Almost every male has a bare patch on the back of stupid hat on its head, while some retain the plumage ruffled, directionless hair of their youth. Those that do have this spend a great deal of time grooming it, particularly early in the day.

The bogan, already agitated overexcitement, begins to look for larger opponents to display in front of...Most also have a red patch on their breast pair of white leather shoes that contrasts sharply with the black of their feathers suit, and is thought to be a secondary means of display. The weaker birds bogans who spend their time on the outer edge of the display area have often had all their tail feathers money removed. They look a sorry sight compared to their elegant peers.”

The bogan has taken to the Melbourne Cup like an aspiring actress to a terminally ill oil magnate. The combination of comfortable, familiar surrounds, ample (low quality) booze and a chance to uncover as much skin under the guise of ‘formal attire’ as possible has made the lure of racing’s biggest day impossible to resist. In 2009, the Cup is a far cry from the genteel, debonair event of yesteryear. Today, as dusk descends over the looming trash pile that Flemington has become in a matter of hours, female bogans can be seen vomiting daintily, stilettos in hand, while a male bogan hovers optimistically nearby…


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116 responses

3 11 2009
Kylie

You missed the female sporting Caufield tan – the fake tan job they had that’s still oompa-loompa orange two weeks later!

3 11 2009
Jenki

I agree with this one.Some people should not be allowed into these events.Needs to be discerning again.

3 11 2009
berihebi

Well done, funny!

3 11 2009
ColinJ

And at least half a dozen drunk bogans will attempt to climb up onto the bronze Phar Lap statue on the day while their peanut gallery of drunk bogan mates cheer them on.

3 11 2009
Shaun

God what a load of shit. I went for the first time when 14 yr old in 1983 and it was a piss up feast from the public stands through to the Corporate Marques in the carpark. In years that I did not go to the cup or Yarra Glenn races it was parties. Where ever you go on Melbourne cup day its nothing but i great old piss up, chicks tart up and everyone spending money on the ponys. Then go to work or school the next day with a hang over. It always has been and always will be.

You know the more I think about it the more I think this is a propaganda site for the labor party and neo socialists. Im also suspecting the site has been made by a certain print media group.

3 11 2009
ColinJ

‘You know the more I think about it the more I think this is a propaganda site for the labor party and neo socialists. Im also suspecting the site has been made by a certain print media group.’

Maybe. But that doesn’t stop it all from being extremely funny.

Or completely true.

3 11 2009
Indi

Or a propaganda front for the old school of the Liberal Party, which didn’t actually go away, and thinks themselves better than anyne else. They can still be heard in Collins Street Clubs shouting, ‘Waiter, wee wee and little boys!’

3 11 2009
rustybeamish

Ok, so we’ve had some debate here, and we’ve managed to narrow down the conspiracy theory to “they’re either radical right wing, or radical left wing”. At this rate, we’ll have found solutions for cancer, climate change, and world hunger by lunchtime. 🙂

3 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Oh look, a bogan trying to think.

3 11 2009
pinky has a brain

Shaun,
Why would a labor party/neo-socialist be behind this web-site? the left has always been supportive of the bogan plight. Haven’t you heard of the trade-unionist? Geez, if your going to get your knickers in a knot please blame the right people…Oh and get a sense of humor…Bogans are so sensitive these days…

PS: Who goes to school with a hang over..? Oh, silly me, bogans do

3 11 2009
StuManChu

Yes Shaun, once again you appear to have hit the nail on the head. Is ‘Shaun’ an alias for Andrew Bolt?

4 11 2009
Nagob the Anti-Bogan

“[T]he more I think about it…”

No. Please don’t do that. It’s better if you stop. It hasn’t worked so far.

4 11 2009
Jen

Hahhaaaa, the bogan doesn’t like that he reads about himself

20 11 2009
lore

Um…. the labor party and neo-socialist movement are two very different things. How could this site possibly resemble the propaganda of both of them at once?
Which Australian media group would endorse a site that labelled such loved Aussie pursuits as bogan culture? Fairfax? News Ltd? I doubt it.

Bogans are just obsessed with trying to cast the blame on someone/thing other than themselves, and they LOVE conspiracy theories that allow them to allocate responsibility to large businesses. It’s on of the key pillars that saves them from that much loathed self-scrutiny. Additional resource: http://wik.ed.uiuc.edu/index.php/Locus_of_control TBL

3 11 2010
bogansgivekidsmullets

oh no… wait for it….I think Shaun is going to drop the E word – the biggest insult a bogan can give anyone

3 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Oh how the bogans dislike being so easily described.

3 11 2009
Jodie

Too true, Fiona. One of the hallmarks of the aspirational bogan is the carefully cultivated self-delusion of individuality. Hence the personalised number plates, the “creative” baby names and so on.

To the bogans- for what it’s worth, I am neither wealthy nor from Toorak. It could even be argued that my name is slightly bogan (oh, how I wish my name were Chloe or Victoria.) I do, however, know how to read something other than the Herald Scum and exercise my critical thinking skills, and I think patriotism is for people who are too lazy or unpassionate to find a cause or principle real and worthy of allegiance.

3 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And the white fake crocodile shoes with the dark suit. I mean, the bogan who wears that will surely stand out from the herd…

3 11 2009
Shaun

Fiona of Toorak and Jodie(hot name by the way wanna hook up)

Labor party and neo socialists…YES
Old school Liberal…. No they are all dead or in nursing homes

The Labor party has long since lost its title was the workers/battlers party. The used to look out of the battlers now they are too busy trying to get a legacy in history. Battlers are so not them. Teachers, unionist and ultra leftist socialists have infested the Labor party. The over educated upper middle class have ruined the party. They dont want to be seen a snob liberals so they joined the labor party only to get the message mixed up and ened up buying into the neo left socialist message. When Labor and Unions started spending more time looking out for others such as the plight of some idiot in a country then the people they are meant to represent I changed to Liberal. It was a hard choice. I don’t like conservatives but it was made easier knowing no matter who you go for they are all Christian biggots so it was down to lesser of 2 evils. At least the Liberals still believe that everyone is responsible for their own actions and will show you how to wipe your ass, but you have to do it youself. If the Liberals were in power internet filter and the Alcopop Tax would never have got off the ground. At least they do whats in the best interest of the nation regardless of the newlimted.com a.k.a Labours nannystate propaganda unit told them they should do. Labor runs their policy’s based on whats on the front page of the Newspapers.

PS To Fiona
I’m in South Yarra and have been to some massive piss ups Toorak…

Whats the difference between a piss up in Seaford and Toorak? In Toorak the beer is Stella instead of Pure Blonde, The red wine is $25 a bottle and not out of a cask, the food is catered instead of cooked on the BQQ by Dougie who’s the short order cook at the local pub and shagging a chick just met is in a guest room not on next door neighbors front lawn. Oh yer the weed is smoked through a very expensive chamber bong while back at Seaford they made it using orange juice bottle, a garden hose and aluminum foil shaped into a cone……! Its all two sides of the same coin. You just think you just think your shit dont stink… why else would even bother to mention your from Toorak…!

PS: to Jodie. Your a sell out, but only to yourself. You dont even like your own name. I think you got bigger issues to deal with right now. Come back when you have learned how to live with yourself

2 11 2010
Kat

This is why boganity is a state of mind, not of social position.

3 11 2009
Matty H

Just a note about Toorak. For the rest of Australia, thats a suburb in Melbourne, a nice on at that. However, during my uni days, at my poorest, and when I let my inner bogan free, I lived in a studio in Toorak with many bogans. So no matter where you come from, weather it be in Vaucluse or, Dandenong (god I hope I spent them right), you will find a bogan.

2 11 2010
kath

well said matty h, i was going to ask for a definitive distinction between the toorak fiona and the cranbourne fiona, it could just be mum and dads pay packets in the end. you give everyone a start with toorak ; dinner party
cranbourne; back yard barbee
and by 2 in the morning they are all doing the same thing really.

3 11 2009
KL

Well put Jodie in regards to the bogan ultra-patriotism that is displayed in various guises; eg: Southern Cross tattoo, Aussie Flag on the Commodore, spouting uninformed racist dribble etc etc.

Nevermind that if you asked these imbeciles as to who Edmund Barton, Sir John Monash, Albert Jacka or Peter Badcoe are you would be greeted with nothing but blank looks! Perhaps an Australian history test should be administered at every tattoo parlour before any Australiana ink can be applied?

I am a proud Australian, however, i represent this pride by actually learning the history of this country rather than getting a tacky tattoo and drunkenly ranting “We grew here you flew here” nonsense.

4 11 2009
Lee

Yes Matty you got Vaucluse right, there is a vast array of bogans living there aswell, mixed in with the saffa’a and jews…….. and the south african jews!

4 11 2009
Lee

excuse typo…….. saffa’s is what I meant.

3 11 2010
discoowl

great post

3 11 2009
Matty H

Today we will watch all the bogans of Victoria gather in Melbourne, to watch something they have no idea about. But its that one special time of the year where bogans young and old can put on there bests, drink, vomit, snog randoms, and trash there surroundings, while the whole time believing they are classy! Because its Melb’s, and Melb’s is classy bro. Isent it? For the life of me I dont understand why tourism victoria, and Melbourne promote this race as an elegant gentile event. When its SO clearly not.

3 11 2009
ColinJ

‘For the life of me I dont understand why tourism victoria, and Melbourne promote this race as an elegant gentile event. When its SO clearly not.’

Because the moment anything civilised or decent becomes appropriated by bogans it instantly goes to utter shit.

So bogans bring all the all the spewing, punch-ups, slutiness and generally disgraceful behaviour that defines ANY bogan social event; from a backyard barbie to a multi-million-dollar celebration of the wasteful rich.

3 11 2009
Indi

I think you mean genteel- as gentile is an adjective meaning not Jewish.

3 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Try again dear, this time using English.

3 11 2009
Simon

Is there anything more bogan than using LOL? I think not.

3 11 2009
Matty H

My bad Genteel, not gentile. Dident know that gentile meant not Jewish. Learn something new every day.

3 11 2009
Damien

Hahaha, rofl, I’m not sure which is funnier, the article or the comments.

3 11 2009
Melissa

Hahaha! Fiona of Toorak, he IS speaking English…I don’t know where you’re from but im american and I understood it fine…ANYWHO, Great article, I needed to do a current events in school anddddd I chose Melbourne Cup haha, im sooo printing this article haha xD

2 11 2010
hel

American you may be but you are yet to understand the nuances and urbane utterances that spew forth from our Lady Fi. Why do Americans always feel the need to point out they are American? Seems a bit, well, bogan to me.

3 11 2009
Kondor Man

Shaun, most people here are “normals” – a dying breed of people who are happy with their correctly spelt names, no facial piercings, no tattoos, can have a good time without copious amounts of grog and/or fighting, can go 30 seconds without swearing, say please and thank you and generally respect other human beings. We don’t all follow any specific political party, we’re just a group of people who try not to laugh in the faces of the “induvidwools” who plague our society.

3 11 2009
ColinJ

Wot ‘e said…

Us non-bogans generally lead quiet lives free from the bogan imperative to draw attention to ourselves in any way possible.

To me that disparity is what defines boganism; the utter lack of modesty, and the need to try and make yourself seem more significant than you are. Often by becoming an obnoxious asshole and/or giving your children ridiculously made-up names.

3 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And wearing fake white crocodile shoes with a dark “Man to Man” er, “suit” to your special day – the Melbourne Cup.

18 01 2010
Trevor Andthat

With the vents at the back still stiched up? That’s always a good look.

4 11 2009
Karen

from one “normal” to another…thanks for the comment, it’s good to hear somewhere out there that there is a sense of respect and decency…being surrounded by bogans I was beginning to think there was some kind of bogan creating virus spreading across Oz and that nobody had been spared…

4 11 2009
Kris

@ Kondor Man: you’ve summed it up perfectly. Here on these boards I’ve found myself among my peers. Thank you for articulating exactly how I feel. I’ve come home at last 🙂

5 11 2009
Moiky

But folks, it’s time to ‘fess up. There’s a little bogan inside each one of us! The question is, how much you let the little bloke/chick off the leash.
So may we all cultivate and control our Inner Bogan — for this is the road to bliss.

12 11 2009
dizzy

careful on insulting tattoos there my friend! i agree with everything you have said but some people who are covered in tatts are far from bogans…

3 11 2009
gusface

I think someone’s inner bogan is having a quite meltdown
😉

3 11 2009
Jodie

Shaun, my a sellout what?

Bet you $10 you don’t understand the statement I just made…

3 11 2009
Jodie

P.S. In a few years my title will be “Dr.” and you will no doubt still be in middle management…. If that makes me a sellout, so be it.

3 11 2009
David

I imagine Andrew Bolt to be like Jack Donaghey in 30 Rock… making grand statements about average joes being good honest hardworking people, only to discover they are just as awful as the rest of us.

Happy horse day everyone!

3 11 2009
Brian

Well I made my once-a-year bogan bet and decided on the quinella of “Shocking” and “Crime Scene”. Not based on form, but because it sounded cool. And I won a packet! Sometimes, it’s good to let your bogan free.

3 11 2009
Ironhalo

While I like your sentiments Jodie, ‘in a few years my title will be Dr.’ means nothing until, you know, you actually achieve it. And if you aren’t a Doctor of medicine, you’re one of the waste-of-space social science dribbling twats who makes EVERYONE call them ‘Doctor’; because they wrote a thesis on ‘Distopian Themes with South American Feminist Literature’ for their doctorette in Basket Weaving when they were 28 and finishing up their professional student career.

Noting wrong with middle management, the next rung up is….

I loved your ‘self delusion sense of individuality’ comment though; I got a good laugh out of it…basically because it is true!

3 11 2009
djibarh

Some of the people who carry the title ‘Dr’ and don’t practice medecine are researchers in the physical and biological sciences, to name only two disciplines that could hardly be considered a ‘waste of space’.

3 11 2009
Jodie

I will be a Doctor of veterinary medicine, for what it’s worth. I am trying hard not to agree with you on the rest of the statement. As much of a feminist as I am, I will say I have to try my utmost not to snicker when someone says they have a PhD in gender theory or film analysis or somesuch. Mind you, I’m a total hypocrite on that score- I’d rather be a student than work for a living any day. Maybe that’s why bogans sneer at uni students. We basically bludge as much as they do but we get to feel noble doing it! ;D

4 11 2009
Lee

Aaah the ever wise all knowing uni bogans, they’re in a classification of their own.

3 11 2009
Jodie

P.S. Agree with djibarh also.

3 11 2009
Grant

No Jodie, your PhD is a complete waste of time and space, don’t you know.

Just ask Shaun. You’re clearly an overly educated (yes, this is an insult in Bogania Waters) neo-socialist (whatever that means). And you’ll never reach the dizzying heights of middle-management. So there!

4 11 2009
Jodie

I couldn’t possibly be a socialist, I’m far too selfish. 😉

Yeah, I’m always a little baffled when bogans/conservatives use the term over-educated. Is too much education a bad thing, like too much alcohol or junk food? Guess I’m not smart enough to get it…

4 11 2009
B

your brain’s going die from intellectual cholesterol jodie.
and your last words will be “damn… shouldn’t have done that 4th Phd ….. must’ve been the garlic sauce”

selfish or not you ARE a neo social whatever it was
why? because the middle manager said so dammit! how dare you question his omniscience (anybody else used to think this word was talking abotu some kind of science? or just me….) he’s worked long and hard to get where he is so of course he knows better that you GAWD joedee !

4 11 2009
DentShop

One of the worst shows of racing boganimity is the suit/dinner jacket with boxer shorts. Uuugghh. I was once in a group that included half a dozen of these morons and they all claimed that it was they thought of the idea. In fact they nearly started a fight amongst themselves over whose idea it was! I needed chiropractic treatment after all the head shaking I did that day.

4 11 2009
davo

“Today, as dusk descends over the looming trash pile that Flemington has become in a matter of hours, female bogans can be seen vomiting daintily, stilettos in hand, while a male bogan hovers optimistically nearby…”

CLASSIC. Sums it up perfectly

4 11 2009
brad

have to laugh at some of the square heads who comment on this site(ie:jodie) its so obvious that all the so called “normal people” who despise “bogans” are really neorotic,uptight soft blankets who hate people who are comfotable in themselves (which is what being an adult is) and dont have adolescent hang ups ,they are in fact jealous of this,thus in there frustration they use labels like bogan or westie to describe the people they secretly wish to be,quite pathetic,why dont you get your heads out of your ass and have a cup of harden the fuck-up you poor self deluded piss ants. p.s. you all know you wouldnt survive 1 day in bogan world soft c#$5ts

4 11 2009
Jen

“people who are comfortable in themselves”… I think you mean people who have no dignity or respect for others, and take a kind of pride in it. Now THAT is pathetic. You think we want to be like you? I think you’re sadly deluded.

4 11 2009
Jasper
4 11 2009
Nagob the Anti-Bogan

Makes ua proud, really. Proud of what, I’m not sure…

4 11 2009
Simon

Jasper, yes it does. As a fat man once said “The Horror, The Horror”.

4 11 2009
brad

Lee,i agree i may have had a brain explosion,but god dammit im pissed;as for the c word i put in the characters to emphizise how pissed i am,not because im too prudish to write the c word………….dumb c!@t!

4 11 2009
brad

Sorry to offend you mate,just trying to lighten things up

4 11 2009
brad

keep on punching Lee

4 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And white fake leather crocodile shoes.

4 11 2009
James

Hey Fiona,
How you doin’?

4 11 2009
brad

Firstly James(i couldnt imagine you would find jimmy acceptable),itried out for the aust cricket team but Warnie told me to stick it cause i dont know how to play poker! As for Fiona of Toorak ,well what more can i say about someone who calls themselves Fiona of Toorak ha ha

4 11 2009
Lee

Brad, have you noticed it’s only the wankers from Toorak that feel the need to let everyone know that they are from Toorak?
Wonder how long till we see a Vaucluse or Double Bay?

4 11 2009
James

Brad,

No wonder Lee doesn’t like you, tool.

James

4 11 2009
brad

Yes he does your just jealous jimmy

4 11 2009
brad

ha ha i should call myself Brad of Bankstown but then again my english is to concise to be beleivable,but seems like our freind jimmy has fallen for the Toorak honey trap what a fucken goose!

4 11 2009
Lee

Brad of Bankstown, if you are infact as anglo as your name suggests and still living in bankstown then my friend you are bogan! Well done mate, Im not too far away…… about as far south as you can follow fairford rd then left.

4 11 2009
brad

sorry to dissapoint you lee ijust used brad of bankstown as an example cause it sounds good,actually from outer east of melb a true aussie/bogan heartland plenty of cub’s and the kind of place the tossers on this site would fear to tread!

4 11 2009
Lee

Ha ha, as I suspected! An anglo aussie bogan from bankstown sounded too good to be true!

5 11 2009
James

you should both be banned..

5 11 2009
OPP

Looks like the brains trust (Lee and Brad) have fallen in love, but how will their love blossom when ones from Sydney and the others from Melbourne.

5 11 2009
James

I suspect it may, the both sound pretty commited to being complete benders..

5 11 2009
Jodie

Gah. How many people this site need to be told that an apostrophe is used for the possessive, not the plural?! Eesh.

5 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Everyone. Aside from me.

5 11 2009
Jodie

Heh. Fi, it would seem we are a dying breed.

5 11 2009
Jodie

That should be “on this site”. Not directed at any particular poster. It’s a trend now. How depressing.

5 11 2009
James

Jodie,

Good point, and hugely important. I would like to note, its not hard to make Fiona ‘LOL’ is it. I prefer to snigger to myself (STM). TTYL.

James

5 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. STM.

5 11 2009
Linda

LOL – this made me laugh SO hard! a sea of fake tan, short dresses and smeared mascara… LOVE IT

ahahahhaha

bogans… ugh!

funny though

5 11 2009
James

Linda,

Agreed. It made me STM.

James

5 11 2009
Lee

Oh dear, James is upset.
The site is here for everyone to enjoy. Bogans, hipsters, yuppies, leg waxing metro types, idiots from Toorak who can’t string a sentence together, even the complete plebs, like yourself.
Relax a bit junior, you might even enjoy it.

5 11 2009
James

Lee, you feeling ok ‘bro’? I think you have had too much wild turkey and cola champ. You know what STM means? It is good times. STM..

5 11 2009
Lee

Funny, I dont drink wild turkey champ but yes I feel fine, thanks for your concern.
Nice try ‘bro’.

5 11 2009
brad

jimmy,how ya goin knackers,good to see you’ve turned the corner not only are implying that i’m homosexual in a degrotory way but you’re also using the word “bro” both big no no’s in the world of the NB(non bogan).Be the bogan son,embrace it,become your inner bogan’s best freind-the truth will set you free!; be careful though they may ban you

5 11 2009
brad

is opp swahili for blowfly?

5 11 2009
Lee

The bogan is screaming to be let out of jimmy’s pale, shaved skin.
Let it out mate, I can almost see the big vein pulsating out of your shiny forehead.

5 11 2009
Shaun

Jodie my sister is a vet who is highly regarded with in Australia and internationally. She is yet to put DR anywhere near her name. I think most people here are lost souls and its sad. Bogans are content and happy and carefree. I can not ask for better friends then them. I feel most of the people here are lost in a PC world. Your loss

6 11 2009
brad

she wont answer you shaun shes gone to make more 2 minute noodles ha ha

6 11 2009
Jodie

Shaun, google “the Melbourne Model.” In Victoria, veterinary has recently gone from the BVSc to the DVM. It’s now postgraduate, just FYI. And I don’t give a rat’s about being PC. I just choose not to be ignorant.

6 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. The slightly educated bogan also attends universities other than Melbourne or Monash.

11 11 2009
Deano

Try-hard elitist YUPPY!

6 11 2009
Emma

I was at Oaks day yesterday and witnessed what a bogan’s bikini line looks like first hand…unwaxed, disgusting.

6 11 2009
aussietv

Nothing has changed from the ‘good old days of yesteryear’, it’s always was a bogan piss fest.

8 11 2009
chris of south yarra

i think ill stick to my green tea…

11 11 2009
Caitlin

Canberra: a teenage bogan in ‘formal’ attire and racing fascinator (no shoes) being pushed home in a trolley by her boyfriend, at 5 in the afternoon, in the middle of the city.
Shortly followed by another pair; the female attempted to jaywalk through incoming traffic and proceded to stop and swear at the car who braked for her for around a minute
AMAZING

12 11 2009
Rob

You’ve explained all the good reasons why you NEVER go general admin at the Melb Cup, or Caulfield, or any racing event in Victoria now. and PLEASE, no more Dandenong style white shoes with black suits. haha

12 11 2009
Jodie

Hahahahahahaaaaa, love it:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26339190-421,00.html

I think they’ve been reading this blog. I can see the sign now: “Anyone dressed like a footballer or marketing douchebag will be refused entry.”

12 11 2009
tjios

Fiona needs to get over herself. There are plenty of bogans in Toorak. They may often be rich, but they bogans just the same. And where you are educated in Australia usually doesn’t make a difference either, because Australian education is vocationally oriented. What makes Australians bogans is their lack of cultural, rather than formal, education.

13 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. The University of Melbourne’s “Melbourne Model” is not vocationally oriented. Of course, no bogan could ever hope to study there so it doesn’t really matter – that’s what La Trobe, RMIT, Deakin and *giggle* Victoria are for.

13 11 2009
Simon

Tjiros,

Fiona is a stooge, no one LOL’s that much.

13 11 2009
brad

My uncle was a keen owner of horse flesh who did all right in the bush gallops,but he had one freakish little grey mare who made it into the city runs melbourne and sydney,ect back in the 70’s.This good things name was Miff Ace and it one quite a bit of prize money in the big smoke.My uncle told me the thing that put the icing on the cake of it winning was listening to the toffs wives in the members section of Flemington and Randwick jumping up and down with a thousand dollar ticket in their hand screaming “come on Miff Ace come on Miff Ace” good times!

14 11 2009
Freddo

The reason I hate the Melbourne Cup is because of bogans.
They walk into work on that Tuesday morning announcing their top tips despite not giving a toss about horse racing at any other time of the year. If not in Victoria they’ll then spend the rest of the morning complaining that ‘it should be a national farkin’ holiday’. After lunch, productivity is extremely low as they wait for the race & continue to complain but this time about the quality of the audio visual equipment provided by the workplace to view it. After the race & after losing their money they’ll bang on about how they ‘knew that farkin’ horse would win’ & state that next year they’ll fly down to see it live.
And this process will be repeated by the bogan year after year…

7 03 2010
common man

LOL.just wondering if fiona who giggles an LOL,S AT victoria then why live here?im yet to see a legable debate from her hopeless attempts to be a comedian and am left disgusted by her master,s claim,s thus sounding like a bitter mistress to myself LOL. the day you enjoy the melbourne cup an the atmosphere is the day you maybe stop blogging here or did the herald sun ban you??

2 11 2010
hel

I sense there are a few people commenting here today who need to familiarise themselves with the definition of satire. That top photo by the way, brilliant!

2 11 2010
Alison

I love the races! i take my scream mask!

2 11 2010
30 08 2011
magicmunt

What about the Albert Park Grand Prix? The Bogans walk around St Kilda with their grand prix’s passes around their necks like they’re badges of honour.

1 11 2011
Blueballs

I don’t call it “Spring Racing Carnival”

I prefer the correct term “Twiggly Season” (or possibly Judd Season) Usually starts about a two weeks out from the Brownlow and ends about a week after Oaks Day (along with any other enthusiasm for horse racing and/or concern from what Jockeys have to say or think)

And while I’m at it, it fucking pisses me no end having two-bit journos continually referring to women within 10km of a race track as ‘Fillies’ or having some simpleton footballers missus/soap star/d-list model posing for a photo with a horse.

Sarah Jessica Parker… what the fuck, I’m surprised Tom Waterhouse didn’t offer 50-1 that she’d win a race

Grant Hacketts post race grand piano trashing… If Mr Mono-tooth can’t hold his nose candy, don’t snort the shit and trash apartments.

Jockeys, no one wants to hear the anorexic pricks, just ride the horse and STFU

10 11 2011
Maxtreme

I was at David Jones in Pitt St with my girlfriend not long ago, shopping for my annual law society ball. I picked out a sharp three-piece pinstripe and as I was getting measured up I was asked, ‘the vest is a bit over the top for the races isn’t it?’ I responded with a look that was equal parts shock and disgust. Later we were searching the women’s section. My girlfriend picked out a colourful Sass & Bide dress and when she went to try it a woman said oh that’s lovely, is it for the races?

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