So, ummmm…

14 12 2011

An apology is probably in order for the absence of posting. In the wake of writing books and holding down day jobs, many of us have decided to decamp for foreign climes for some time. And some of us had no time to post because Skyrim. Now that some are back, expect a bit more frequency with the posting.

In the meantime, here is a list of things that happened that we could have written about, should we have had the motivation. Please feel free to add suggestions.

  • Teenager arrested in Bali for purchasing marijuana.
  • Bogans assume he is guilty
  • Bogans then assume he is innocent
  • Bogans decide to wait until he’s sold his story to 60 Minutes
  • Shane Warne gets engaged
  • Shane Warne burns finger
  • Trashmedia pay equal attention to both events
  • Interest rates dropped
  • Bogans took the opportunity to lament how Tough they are Doing It
  • Kyle Sandilands something something
  • Andrew Bolt was found to be a racist in a court of law
  • Bogans blame political correctness gone mad; claim loss of free speech

What else happened?


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167 responses

14 12 2011
Michelle

Arias something something

1 08 2012
T'anylia Lithiakis-Harrison of an estate with two huge gates and no fence, way out past Melton

Earnest, educated types scream ‘racist’ (when they probably mean ‘culturalist’), then bogan claims ‘there is nothing wrong with xxxx, it’s not racist’ and the two sides blindly continue on, neither realising their lazy, loaded insight is meaningless and does nothing to further debate about anything.

14 12 2011
James Hunter

Foney(phoney or Toney to the two friends he is reputed to still have)
Rabbit ( Or Abbott to his father confessor),
has gone completely ferral and should be hunted with 1,000,000 candle power spot light and a .243 with a 6 power scope.
He has been to change his direction like 180 degrees up to four times on the one subject in the one day. then has the gaul to complain that Malcolm Turnbull simply by opening his mouth, make him look like what he is.

Gerry Harvey has been fined 3.5 million for misleading advertising so willl heve to rip off another swag of bogans eager to walk into the showers.

and Rupert Murdochs press empire is so corupt now no one can even mention his name in a blog and it goes to moderation never to reappear. when any meglomanic power hungry owner of governments gets to a given size they realy are the single greatest threat to civilisation.
there thats my two bobs worth.

16 12 2011
Letitride

NO! .50 cal at point blank range, in broad daylight. Ooops, a large black car just pulled up in my drive….

8 01 2012
Bear Facts

I may not agree with all you say James Hunter, but I defend your right to say it with very poor spelling, barely comprehensible grammar and complete lack of punctuation.

Starting a sentence with and is not only an ‘in your face!’ to conventional education, but starting a new paragraph with it – as well as without a capital A – That’s just new age brillance.

Roll on text speak; 21st Century Boganese.

9 01 2012
James Hunter

ewxplain all that to anyone who will listen

9 01 2012
Bear Facts

Excellent comeback JH ………or should that be ewxcellent?
Is that the same thing you said to your English teacher?

9 01 2012
James Hunter

My enlish teacher had nothing to do with my mishtakes

14 12 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

Go on, write something, I dare you. Our Mary (Princess Mary of Denmark), I saw the vox-pops of attendees at formal appearances. And … go !

14 12 2011
Bogan voyeur

Deni Hines was a cow on Celebrity Apprentice and was mean to Polly Porter (who bogans previously disliked cos she won The Block and every bogan knows they can do a better job if only their Block application was successful). The bogans defended Polly even though what Deni said was true but somewhat hypocritical given Deni too is a hasbeen and non-celebrity. Many bogans created “hate” pages on Facebook, which we all know is the best way for bogans to get their message to like-minded bogans!

14 12 2011
moar caek

Melbourne Cup again.
Sports Betting
MOAR BOATS!!!1!
It’s A Knockout (Vale H.G., not even your character mug will get me to tune in)
Gerry Harvey something something.
also
why are Ray Martin and Peter Reith suddenly everywhere?
what the fuck with everyone at the ABC moving to Ten?
what is the difference between a duck?
did you see that thing about that guy that said australians have become heaps less financially literate? he stole that from youse.

14 12 2011
moar caek

fuck.
I said “fuck”
can we turn that off?
now I’m trapped in moderation for ever.
it’s like Tron*

*the 80’s Tron. not the new Tron. that was an even bigger let down than Avatar.
actually the first Tron was pretty bad too. even in the 80’s. I never quite got what was happening.
it was like a sort of Neromancer thing, right? with electic light mototrcycles. or something.

14 12 2011
moar caek

top shop

15 12 2011
moar caek

Bogan Biker’s Baby Boy Bladed (Building Bombed)

Conroy Preferred PM ahead of Rudd, Gillard, Abbott. Polls.

Slippergate.

Powderfinger Reunion Tour (trust me)

15 12 2011
moar caek

junior emotion drums meets using photos of their kids on their facebook profile
or whatever it was called.

15 12 2011
moar caek

Middle Class Welfare cuts.

15 12 2011
moar caek

Teh Gheys

15 12 2011
L

Future baby bonus cut
Commonwealth bank FB bitching – on pay day
Christmas sales for dogmas – what do they buy?

16 12 2011
Bogan voyeur

hehe – too true. When i had my first child waaaayyyy back in da 90s, there was no baby bonus for me – I had a child because my husband and I wanted one and could afford it. I think bogans don’t understand the concept of “bonus” – I say reduce the baby bonus by the $400 or so to $4000….seriously, should people be whinging if they’re getting paid $4000 to reproduce?

16 12 2011
martin

They should make it $100k. But you only get it if you pass a non bogan test made up of random questions so bogans couldn’t really study for it if on the off chance that they were able to read more than 200 pages a month.

17 12 2011
p'bee

they should just get rid of it completely. but nobody will, seeing as it would be political suicide.

15 12 2011
ElydoNomis

Skyrim has held up my life as well.

16 12 2011
moar caek

in CoD we trust.
skyrim
lol

16 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

Hey Chubs, are you training for the Tour Down Under, a good lead up to the Giro de Onkaparingaring!

I went to Williamstown and back yesterday morning, bit tired today.

16 12 2011
moar caek

sadly, the giro d’onkaparingaring is in doubt after “the incident” last year.
http://chubbybloodfart.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/giro-donkaparingaring-in-doubt/

I’m not sure I can afford another car.

we were going to move to the patawilonga anyway…

15 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

Ricky lee wore a bikini
Kim K got married
Michael Clark turned out to be a good captain but sack the rest
Harley Davidsons (still)
Kyle Sandilands – his ratings went up!
Moar Caeks wife, Baeks, had a baby, Cuppee. I still think Nimrod Gympie was a good name.
I posted another Sleater Kinney video.
JH made a word play joke.

15 12 2011
moar caek

who teh hell is ricky lee?

15 12 2011
martin

Someone Ash wants to do #124 on. Even though she’s physically pretty good I wouldn’t because I don’t like her mentally speaking and I’ve got ethics and shit.

15 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

Someone Ash wants to #124, that does not really narrow it down Martin, f€ck ya.

15 12 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
Narrows it down to everyone who reads this blog !

15 12 2011
Immanuel Karnt

*glasses Simon just cause I farkin can*

16 12 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

She has a nice face, she advanced to close to the end of a season of Australian Idol, the one Shannon Noll won possibly. I’m surprised and mortified that I know that. Again, I used to post as Edward, until someone ripped my screen-name, posted three times and was never seen again.

16 12 2011
moar caek

ah yes.
I always confuse her with the one who was on Big Brother with Fitzy. I too am surprised and mortified that there are axons, dendrites, synapsees and ??? in my brain devoted to comprehending any of the preceding.
anyway, Ricki-Lee – clearly on the Deni Hines track to mediocrity.
and
I always thought you were Water Skiing in a Leather Jacket.

16 12 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

During the the Peter Thornton period, I did consider making an alternative log-in for Angus McGuyver (the General who was his handler had in the McGuyver series was Pete Thornton), but I think Waterskiing was an alt. for Kelly Kapowski Klansman.

The other article used the name Bree something-or-other, and had been an exotic dancer under the name Delta. She did a brief stint presenting a Big Brother related round-up programme, and then fell off the radar.

Why do I know this ?

If I keep absorbing stuff like this there is danger I could forget something which is actually useful, like French vocabulary or how to calculate the volume of a cone. I’ve already forgetten the name of the type of chemical which speeds and intensifies the reaction of two other chemicals. It’s like a catalyst, but not (because a catalyst makes possible a reaction which wouldn’t otherwise occur).

I need to rinse my eyes and cerebral cortex with bleach.

16 12 2011
James Hunter

Fi, Fi bleaches are oxidisers usually chlorine or peroxide based and could cause permanent dammage to eyes
I figured that reaction facilitators were also cataylists but hey if your only mixing charcol and potassium nitrate between two steel plates you dont realy need much sulphur. ! so FOOOeeey !

16 12 2011
moar caek

comment peut-on calculer le volume d’un cône?

16 12 2011
urbanreverie

Reagent, Fiona?

And Caek: V = 1/3 * pi * r^2 * h

16 12 2011
James Hunter

urban, hmm yes a specif example of the i/3 area of base x h
one of the little interesting things that onee may pick from maths was the difference between the volume of a sphere and the volume of a cube that exactly contains it. If one instead were to fill the cube exactly with say eight spheres or many thousands the difference in space remains the same. !

16 12 2011
urbanreverie

That’s simple to explain, James. The ratio between a volume of a sphere and a cube, the diameter of which equals the breadth of the cube, remains constant.

Radius of sphere = r
Breadth of cube = 2r

V(sphere) = 4/3 * pi * r^3
V(cube) = (2r)^3

4/3 * pi * r^3 : (2r)^3
4/3 * pi * r^3 : 8 * r^3
4/3 * pi : 8
pi : 6

Therefore, the ratio of the volumes of a sphere and cube of equal breadth is pi : 6.

And if you replace the one big sphere with eight smaller spheres which all touch each other, or twenty-seven smaller spheres or (n^3) spheres … all you’re really doing is slicing and dicing the cube into 8 or 27 or (n^3) smaller cubes with identical dimensions. The ratio of the volumes for these smaller cubes remain the same, so the sum of all the smaller volumes remains the same.

Yes, folks. That’s your Geometry 101 lecture here today at the University of TBL. A contemporary English literature tutorial, in the form of the latest episode of The Bogue & Boguette Show, is coming right up. :P

16 12 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

Huh, I was more or less convinced the word began with “per…”. No wonder I was having trouble remembering the rest.

15 12 2011
James Hunter

Simon, I could not make such excellent word play jokes with out the superbe straight men on this site !!! Remember If you don’t like my word plays , then I do have others !

15 12 2011
moar caek

pollie pay rises.

15 12 2011
James Hunter

Pollie wants a cracker ?

16 12 2011
moar caek

Pollie wants a nice french triple cream brie on his cracker to go with the vintage Krug on the flight home from the Fact Finding Mission.

16 12 2011
Immanuel Karnt

Maybe she would like some food…

16 12 2011
James Hunter

maybe I should have said Pollies are Crackers ?

15 12 2011
urbanreverie

Hmm … what did the TBL blokes miss …

The ALP National Conference. The party was torn between what its members wanted and what the bogan-dominated outer-suburban marginal-seat focus groups wanted, especially about same-sex marriage. In the end, Conference came up with a compromise (the party platform will support same-sex marriage but allow MPs a conscience vote) that pleased nobody and pissed off everybody.

I saw a story in the SMH where the NSW Planning Minister announced that new suburbs on Sydney’s northwestern fringe will have an average lot size of 250 square metres. This will make it impossible to build McMansions … or will it? Never underestimate the ingenuity (or should that be deviousness?) of the property development industry.

And I’ve noticed that, this Christmas, I’m having no trouble finding parking spots at shopping centres in my area. Either consumer confidence is shot (despite all the Pollyanna-ish good news in the mainstream media about how our economy is going full steam ahead), or everybody is shopping online, or a bit of both. In any case, it’s refreshing that I don’t have to challenge bogan 4WD mums with My Family stickers to a duel at twenty paces to grab a parking space that doesn’t require a two-day trek through lands hitherto unknown just to reach the shops.

15 12 2011
martin

Non bogans prefer to park well away from the shops if the car park is full or fullish. We’ve been over this before, therefore you are 1.203% bogan Urban.

15 12 2011
Anonymous

You guys should do an article about GASP…

16 12 2011
16 12 2011
martin

That’s a fine line as to who the bogan is. Is it GASP for not tolerating bogans or are GASP yogans, or wannabe yogans and doing the classic yogan thing of mistaking arrogance and conceit for class.

15 12 2011
Sad ex-Bogan

Hey TBL,

I came across the following article yesterday and think it epitomises everything this blog is about:

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/australia-among-the-worlds-priciest-on-food-housing/comments-fn7x8me2-1226221237830

As you will see it provides hard evidence to show that Australia is not the lucky country but the ‘land of the big rip-off’. The comments section provides a treasure trove of intellectual insights. Like this one from, I kid you not, ‘Daniel Joe Average of Canberra':

Posted at 4:31 AM December 14, 2011
I know!! it’s hella expensive here. I want a new Mercedes C Class Coupe “V6 would be good” and I can’t afford it!!. Luxury Vehicle Tax is Killing Me.. :-(

At first I thought the comments were a joke. TBL inspired trolls. But after reading a rafter of Bogans bemoan the high costs of luxury goods in Australia I have come to the horrid realisation that these are real people’s actual opinions.

I need a new TBL post to cure me of my bogan-induced melancholia. Stat.

15 12 2011
martin

The rate cut and the extra $50 a month the bogue has means that the bogue’s beloved ponzi/pyramid/and property investments will not crash.

JuLIAR had a boost in the polls despite the best efforts of Alan Jones and co when the bogue found out it’ll just be the “rich” who’ll be paying for the carbon tax. Ie, those f$ckwits on $100k+ a year who’ve never done a day’s work in their lives.

Mathew Newton punched an old guy in the head. The bogue now has someone to hate virulently for about 3 months until Matthew is forgiven again.

16 12 2011
James Hunter

name for an american sitcom “Fonzi’s Ponzis”Adjudication of challangers by The Donald !

15 12 2011
Mick

Hey! What happened to my post?

Anywhoo…this is the big issue for the bogan.Is the commodore about to die?

http://smh.drive.com.au/motor-news/holden-set-to-decide-on-commodore-future-20111213-1orz3.html

Oh the humanity!

15 12 2011
James Hunter

humility for the bogan but a win win for humanity

16 12 2011
moar caek

pity.
I can’t help feeling the loss.
but whatever, I had a lot of guns once too and I don’t miss them.

TBL #√(26y²+1a) – Guns.
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/gold-coast-gun-licences-surge-20110728-1i24s.html

We had the final ‘stater. (WM II) when I divested of it bogans were wont to tell self I was crazy. “it’s a classic – the last one maaate.” yeah gutted. they were so rare too.

TBL #ⁿ – “Classics”

we all have to run out and get a VF Commodore, Bogans will pay a fortune for them in 30 years.

although: if I had a lazy $27k…

15 12 2011
Brimsone

Free speech is clearly a bogan value, and not an American or a universal human value. Keep pushing that line. The fascists will thank you.

15 12 2011
ripa

Just Bali in general. Sweet Jesus. After a bout of the pukey shits I was advised that to blend in I’d best ditch my fancy shirt (with collar & buttons) and get into a Bintang tank top & some cheap boardies. I didn’t.
And the “shopping”. Spending valuble time from work to beat an extra 10 cents off a pair of fake Oakleys or a carved timber cock.
If you’re a fat pisspot with with bad tatts who likes 3 day old editions from News Ltd with your morning beer you’ll love it.
If not, you will like the beach. Comb your hair and locals think you are European. God I’m a snob.

17 12 2011
Letitride

No, you’re not a snob. You’re not a bogan, and therefore the sort of person who JUST DOESN’T FIT IN KUTA, and you’d probably be TOTALLY USELESS in a bar room knife fight (latest Kuta news).
Sorry to be so brutally honest.
Try Padang Padang if you want to meet people more like yourself, and want to deny that people in another country, with an actual culture, are trying to flog you copies of the Perth Sunday Times (god help us).

17 12 2011
James Hunter

The Perth Sunday Times is used as a covert weapon by Australian Immigration.
Thousands of copies are “Smuggled” into the Refugee camps and people smuggler haunts . The Refugees eagerly snap them up like they as valuable as pork chops(Or Lamb he he) After they get to read what life is realy like in Australia they give up and moove on to some more Des Res like Uzbekistan or any place at all that ends in “stan”

17 12 2011
Mick

I would think that I have bagged the Bali holiday as much as anyone else here. Yet, it’s not that bad. Except for Kuta.

If you’re off to Bali, avoid Kuta. It’s full of folk like our friend Letitride. No, Bali is beautiful. Just don’t don’t go to Far North Northbridge.

17 12 2011
Letitride

Awww Mick, you missed my devastatingly witty. pithy direction. Never mind. Am I weally your fwend?

17 12 2011
Mick

yes, well….um….that’s all very good.

Yeah, I …knew and read between the lines…yes, that’s it.

Roger…righto then…carry on…

*runs off in tears of embarrassment*

17 12 2011
James Hunter

Mick,
I hope you got that on film so you can show your grand children how to kiss and make up !
Touching or touched ?

18 12 2011
Letitride

Cool Mick! Heartily LOL, all the best for the Season. And same to the rest of the wild, wacky TBL crew.

16 12 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

The “fourteen year old schoolboy”. Walks out of a massage parlour, buys some dope on the street, the police were probably surveilling the dealer as he did it. The case of, or for, a 800th-odd week abortion. I have no sympathy whatsoever, he could be a parent within the decade, and this possiblilty fills me with revulsion.

16 12 2011
Immanuel Karnt

Possibly by the end of next year.

16 12 2011
moar caek

not if he does what you do…

18 12 2011
Immanuel Karnt

I’m sure some time in a Bali jail has whetted any appetite he may have ever had for #124.

18 12 2011
James Hunter

IK,
Bhahahaha
wetted ????

16 12 2011
Mick

Has the growing debt consolidation industry been done yet?

I have watched the bogan ‘invest’ their hard-earned over the last four years. As has been noted on here before, the bogan will only invest in a ‘sure thing’, thus shovelling their money in at the peak because Davo made a motza on it.

Property, shares, gold, classic Oz cars…all bought at the peak and now rapidly losing value. Life is tough on $150k+ a year. Who would have thought negative gearing meant that they would lose money? They need help with the harley payments.

So, after being ripped off by various spruikers, the bogan will wander down to the good people of “Save Your Financial Arse” that they read about in New Idea.

Only to be ripped off again…

16 12 2011
martin

It’s all Julia’s fault. Even though it all started under John Howard. I’m curious to know if the bogan will protest about it’s right to f#ck people over. I’m somewhat disapointed to say that they probably won’t. They didn’t in the US and they have guns. I wanted to see it for entertainment value and maybe join the cops and bash them.

But even the bogue seems to realise that it’s a pig itself, no matter how much they accuse the banks of being the only pigs.

16 12 2011
Mick

When pigs seek revenge…

18 12 2011
Letitride

Has anyone noticed how pink and piggilly Mike Smith from the ANZ bank is?

16 12 2011
moar caek

is this the old Part Nine Bankruptcy thing?

16 12 2011
moar caek

What did Bogans make of the NZ election coverage on ABC 24?
best NZ election coverage I have evar seen!!!

do bogans know about ABC24?
or do they just think it’s the test pattern?

16 12 2011
martin

How do you get it? Whenever I put the channel on foxtel tells me I have to pay extra to get it. C$nts.

16 12 2011
moar caek

oh martin it was just rivetting.
a whole saturday of droning kiwi accints und meaningluss stetts about allictoruts I couldn’t even pronounce! sirriusly! evin the prime munister was ixullunt!

I’m not surprised foxtel have it on the top shelf.

16 12 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

TBL # 250 – PISS WEAK EXCUSES

*waves to moar*

16 12 2011
moar caek

aaaayyy!
full marks.

16 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

I’d never spotted the link between Fiona and Waterskiing, full marks Caek. I’m going to post you a song.

16 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

Just for something different. I loved this album. Epic, pompous rock.

16 12 2011
moar caek

outstanding.
I used to think this song was about me.
sadly I had a tattoo done to celebrate it. I may have sung it standing naked on a pool table in a bar once.
I’m not sure…

16 12 2011
moar caek

yeah, nah, it was this one….
and it was more like a bistro than a bar, as such.

16 12 2011
martin

F#ck you Simon. U2 is way better than The Cult.

Or maybe a bit of Gazza and the Oyyyyallls.

16 12 2011
Cookie Monster

For f@cks sake Martin, U2/ really.

Try this instead. Adelaide band.

“He rubs his bristles on your mammary glands”

16 12 2011
Cookie Monster

Or this

16 12 2011
Cookie Monster

Stralyan.

16 12 2011
Cookie Monster

Don’t let Ash see this one.

17 12 2011
p'bee

love the sundays

17 12 2011
Mick

I tried to introduce my workmates to Harriet and Co.

They said she was okay but not as hot as Pink. The west side of this great country LOVE Pink.

18 12 2011
p'bee

pink? hot? i can’t even think of a pithy response, the concept is just too hard to get my head around.

16 12 2011
moar caek

f4660t5.

and not in the good way.

16 12 2011
Cookie Monster

Word Play

16 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

No this – Word Play

16 12 2011
moar caek

motley crue I mean.

you were supposed to listen to this in the alps.

I tried to give it to you…

but they said you had already gone…

16 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

I got stopped by French Customs on that one.

16 12 2011
Waterskiing in a Leather Jacket

Fiona is not Fonzie.
Nice try though.

16 12 2011
Cookie Monster

Neither is Cookie Monster. Heeyyyy.

16 12 2011
James Hunter

which one would you rather eat ?

16 12 2011
Clemo

- Australia got beat in the only bogan sport you can play properly whilst stopping ever 20 overs for a beer, against the Kiwis no better.
– A bogan thats been on the run shot a copper and is still on the run. Seriously, a crazy man with a tent cannot be on the run for seven years and never get caught when we have such a ‘great’ police force. What a pack of retards. Well done Malcolm Naden

16 12 2011
martin

What’s the hardest, coolest, yet politically and socially aware band ever? The sort of thing where you can listen to it and just think “what if” and get really involved in idealism and a burning hatred for the system. Where you just know everyone else is wrong and you are right.

I say it’s Morris Minor and the Majors.

If only they had started the libtard movement.

16 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

That’s pretty good, compared to Ufarkin2 anyway. Mojo for PM.

16 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

16 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

Pure genius

16 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

If she started the Libtard movement you would be No1 ticket holder Martin.

16 12 2011
martin

F#ck yeah. I’d do her.

This is more your style Simon.

17 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

That’s gruesome!

16 12 2011
Chris

Has no-one commented on the fantastic Australian movie of the year?

Why RED DOG of course!

20 12 2011
moar caek

watched it last night.
pretty poor. a good yarn maybe…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dog_(Pilbara)
but a pretty piss poor movie.
Bogans will love it. thousands of Red Kelpie pups will be abandoned circa March 2012, Red Dog will deliver a nomination envelope at the logies or the AFIs.

16 12 2011
urbanreverie

And, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for Episode 48 of …

THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!

And this week – it looks like Boguette hasn’t learnt yet that there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch!

http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/episode-48-condemned-to-repeat/

16 12 2011
Letitride

TBL what about the copper beating the crap out of the bogan hoon somewhere….I sooo wanted to be that cop

17 12 2011
James Hunter

Lankawi (Island in Malaysia is just as nice ans loads safer . No night life to speak of and no drugs so wont suit most bogans either .
But hey its the drugs and the night life you want go to the Gold Coast and save the air fares and dont have to worry bout getting busted at the air port an banged up for 30/40 years.

17 12 2011
Mick

Too right JH.

Think outside of the square. Borneo for me.

20 12 2011
moar caek

niugini ;) shhh.

20 12 2011
James Hunter

Moresby OMG , I was there a while back on business. Kultur Shock. BAM not just the 4×4 that everyone uses upcountry but the local town busses have the sides ,roof, doors ,floor ,Pluss any exposed parts covered in heavy small pitch welded mesh !
Like you think on the red neck Sheriff in some southern state backwards(backwoods) town using to shift negras from the jail (goal) to the road works in progress site.

Man wonder what itr gets like when people are pissed off !

17 12 2011
Mick

OH WOW!!!!!

Had our Xmas do at the golf club today. Came home too drunk to cook(TBL#835353 – Too Drunk To Cook.) so dialed a pizza. Got myself a bottle of coke with it because of TBL#835354 – Too Drunk To Drink Anymore.

They gave me a bottle with the name Michael on it!!! Do they do this? Do they sort through the bottles to find the name of their clients? Man, that is customer service!

Or was it coincidence? That would make me sad.

18 12 2011
moar caek

Dobbs has simply smiled on you this day Michael. This day You have achieved true Slack, and now have a natty souvenir of it and a salient conversation piece for the coming Weird Times.

18 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

Not Pepsi Max?

18 12 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
If Max were drinking it would not “Yes,Pepsi”, “Max” !
be more nearly correct ?

18 12 2011
moar caek

18 12 2011
James Hunter

American “reality ” , and it’s televised !

18 12 2011
Saint Nicholas of Chadstone

- Mum with two autistic kids (not one, two), dresses one in a T-shirt proclaiming the fact
– Takes the sprogs to a shopping centre where a nasty santa hassles the kids asking the mum if the kids had their medication
– The mum enacts the bogan human right to be offended/outraged and contacts the media in shock.

There’s much boganity going on here, but lets focus on the bogan’s disorder-du-jour: autism spectrum disorders. It seems they’ve all got at least one kid with autism/aspbergers. The slightly more downmarket bogan still has ADHD going on, but autism spectrum disorders are taking over, in the same way chronic fatigue took over RSI in the 90s (hint to tbl owners: there’s a topic in here somewhere). I don’t know why the prevalence of autism is increasing, but it must have something at least partly to do with obesity, fast food, and plastic containers.

By the way, this all happened in Queensland in case you couldn’t guess.

18 12 2011
18 12 2011
martin

Ha ha. Sucked in to ‘em.

20 12 2011
moar caek

ditto martin.
the fuktards now get to regale all and sundry with tales of their maxtreme brand loyalty e’er after.

Woodstock will counter with a battery powered tattoo gun in every sixpack.
…and ladies, rush in now for your free Vodka Cruiser genital piercing kit!

Monday’s West will feature a young lady from Cottesloe who managed to staple a friend’s thumb to her labia….
authorites will label the promotion “irresponsible”, Diageo will respond that the promotions were clearly intended to be novelties. The woman will make a second appearance on Today Tonight on tuesday after arriving home to find “CRACK A BIG WODY” (sic) amateur tattooed across her upper buttocks. Slater and Gordon subsequently initiate a class action on behalf of thousands of people mutilated in alcohol promo novelty body modification freebie incidents, the sun sets, the sun rises….

20 12 2011
James Hunter

moar, if you go to my Face book page you will find the worlds ten worst tattooed vaginas. Now that is a scream.

18 12 2011
James Hunter

Simon,moar, A miracle has occured.
News . com article on labour leadership, Gillard/Rudd/Shorten, bullshit ad infinitum.
I commented
“5%fact,95% media beat up” and they published it . !!!~
what is thje world comming to ? All my core beliefs being challenged .

18 12 2011
p'bee

congratulations of beating the murdoch filters.

18 12 2011
James Hunter

PeeBee, “one small step for mankind ” ! I may become so bold as to try again? Maybe others will also succeed?
What ! Ho ! Chaps A revolution !!
The Free Australia’s Press revolutionaries..
Burning newspapers in the street, wheelie bins full of flaming “The Australian”s

Hmm thinks
Mrs H and I stopped the Home Delivery of the Oz as we became sick of the murd och political spin and for the last period had only read the Time Cross word.
For $32 per year we now get all the Times Crosswords , cryptic,daily,jumbo,weekend,sunday for one year with solutions also there if we want to check. Sorry Mr M you are past your use by.

19 12 2011
moar caek

I think you have to pay or subscribe to use RupertOnline doncha?
news.con breaks my heart worse than facebook, so I don’t even look anymore. My guilty shame is that I get the Wknd Oz. The reason being I would rather just wait and get something like the whole story instead of minute by minute updates. The bias is pretty clear, so I tend to ignore the politics, although I did note two very vaguely complimentary pieces on the Labor Govt’s recent fiscal performance in last weekend’s rag. More often than not I just read philip adams and ditch the thing. I’m pretty sure we only get it for the TV guide now, although the newspaper will be handy whwn we are ready to house train the baby I s’pose.

congrats BTW james. you can add news.com Contributor to your resume – you’re more credible than most of their roster!

20 12 2011
James Hunter

moar, It is such a crud news (sic) service. Thing is it has a small space on the Chariot Internet Home Page so i admit a to weekness inasmuch as I do go from there to have as often as not a laugh So I am not sure if I would like to put it on my Resume. Unfortunately the kind of people most likely to read it (in the commercial world ) might actually be impressed !!
Any one though in the Arts Community about whom I actually care may well ( and with due cause) be offended !!

18 12 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

Has anyone else seen the advertisements for the upcoming season of Celebrity Biggest Loser ? To quote the god-mother of boganology (Mary-Anne Fahey), “So Bogan !”

18 12 2011
martin

They should have one called “Biggest F$cken Loser”. Where a bunch of bogans are hooked on drink, durries, pokies, skanks and violence.

I might even watch that one.

18 12 2011
p'bee

is that the ad that describes kevin federline as a rapper and international superstar? not sure what alternate universe they’re in that kevin federline is anything.

18 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

If that is true things are worse than we could possibly comprehend.

18 12 2011
p'bee

we should all commit harikiri, shouldn’t we?

19 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

And on top of this the news emerges that Amy Pond is getting killed off in the next Dr Who series. Can it get any worse?

19 12 2011
James Hunter

Liam, Liam,
Of course it could be much much worse.
You could wake up and find :
Foney Rabbit as prime minister.
There would be mass wrist slashings and ques waiting to jump from Sydney Harbour Bridge and West Gate Bridge.
a smaller Que at Story Bridge I suppose though some Queenslanders may actually think its a good thing.

19 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

Honestly JH, I don’t see at this juncture he would be any worse than Julia. They are both sub grade humans.

19 12 2011
James Hunter

Liam,
The main difference is that Foney does not believe in anything other then maybe religious fundalmentalism of the Caflick kind.
A man who changes view point on a single subject four times in one day expecting anyone to take anything he says seriously has to have delusions of adequacy. A contributor undoubtedly is a serious case of “Short Man Syndrome “. Add the two and …. paue for the drum roll : Foney….RaaaabBit

19 12 2011
p'bee

it isn’t confirmed she’s dying, just leaving. we can live in deluded hope.

19 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

I mean’t killed off in the TV sense, maybe a spinoff series staring her police outfit P’bee? That would make Mick happy.

19 12 2011
James Hunter

Uniformed Pole Dancing ?

19 12 2011
Mick

I heard our Amy being interviewed on the ABC radio the other night. By the sounds and tone coming from the host I’m guessing he was almost drowning in his own drool.

She sings too. *sigh*

Delightful girl. Just delightful.

19 12 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

He did well to string any words together I reckon.

19 12 2011
Fiona of Mount Lawley

I was dimly aware that after being Cinderella-ed by his ex-wife, he recorded a largely ignored album. This was of, course, a vanity project. At the time they met, however, he was one of her backing dancers, I understand. If anything he was a dancer. Thus the strangeness of backgrounds of the participants.

Christine Anu was a dancer too. And Robert Dipierdominico was an athlete. You’d think that they would be less likely to lose control, having been accustomed to a physically demanding (and disciplined) lifestyle.

19 12 2011
Dgusten

Coke cans with names on them. How many Breiehannahs and Jaiy-dehns have been desperately searching for a bottle with the “correct” spelling of their name? And then how long have they lined up at Westfield to get a specially printed can?

19 12 2011
moar caek

you can get them printed???
custom coke can???
srsly?
has anyone tried to get “Bogan” written on one?
or “Pepsi”?

20 12 2011
Danny

They already tried that (Pepsi) on The Gruen Transfer, but got knocked back. They did get Dia and Betes through though.

20 12 2011
Dgusten

Mumbrella managed to print an “Ipepsi” can – then covered the I with a finger for a photo:
http://mumbrella.com.au/enjoy-a-coke-called-pepsi-60396

19 12 2011
19 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

I sent them the following comment

“I’m glad these people buy 4wd. Makes it easy to spot the morons with fragile egos or undersized genitals.”

Chances of getting published, about the same as a romantic interlude with Amy Pond.

19 12 2011
Mick

I reckon that one is a chance.

Readership is in trouble. They need ego/genital outrage.

19 12 2011
martin

Nah I’ve given up. If I ever have a wife and kids I’m getting one. I’m tired of 4WD rage. If everyone’s gonna be a c$nt I’m gonna have to be a c$nt too. If I kill a child hopefully it will be a bogan’s and not my own.

Unless I end up with a libtard. I wonder if libtards drive them. Anyone been outside the schools in our respective libtard districts? I bet they drive Peugeots. Or maybe they’re just a pack of stinking hypocrites and drive Landcruisers.

19 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

They drive em Martin. No matter what school you pass it’s 50% SUV’s, regardless of area. Glass em all I say.

19 12 2011
Simon - Teh Interwebz Ninja

Also, do you feel most attracted to libtardettes or boguettes, and which one gives best #124? As a batchelor you gave a duty to research and report back so us marrieds can live vicariously.

19 12 2011
James Hunter

Simon, Good point , or well pointed . ? Like all marrieds we also have a duty to encourage research particularly if it is of the boring kind. Not necrophilia of course because that is just dead boring, but bougette boring could be a new EXtreeme Sport ?Especially if bougette is stoked on bundies or JBs with the added risk of THE BOUGE comming home unannounced and fuelled on a gross of Cowboy shots.
Libtardette boring,would be the situation that could give any one that experience. “shes so sexy she give you an instant soft on . especially if they are school teachers of bank”officers” although I damned if that seems to mean much more then someone who makes the managers coffee and avoids customers at all times.
Chalkies and Bank jhonettes give the most apallingly boreing parties.

30 12 2011
TrashyMedia

I look around me when I go out and see aggressive shaved headed males hooning the streets and loud (often foul mouthed) women in oversized vehicles. If I dare switch the TV over to a commercial station when I go home I see nothing but ads plugging reality TV shows about redneck confrontations. Evidently, I am becoming more sensitive and increasingly thinned skinned in my older age.

11 02 2012
James of the Glen

Timmy Flannery. You know, the bovver bogan. “Visits” his neighbours.

Since Donald T. gets an overseas guernsey, throw in four more similar o/s bogan boys: James Hansen, Albert Gore, Michael Mann and Phil Jones.

13 02 2012
James Hunter

Aussie teanager bashed in Bali for not taking part in friends bong party

Shock horror as interest rates : go up/go down/remain the same

Kyle Sandilands phones inwitha doctors “ready to work certificate”

13 05 2012
Matt K

I wonder, have any of you pathetic little tweeds even considered the fact that if it is claimed that a “bogan” is a “poor-Anglo”, “uneducated” imbecile who basically has no style or colour coordination (just like “Kath & Kim), etc., then, as a matter of premise establishment and logical connections in a purely rational manner, one may begin to have revealed before them the massive inherent structural weakness of the entire anti-bogan “premise” which someone like me can “make more visible” so-to-speak by simply using your own disgraceful descriptions of the apparently “simple”, lower-class and [usually] less-educated Anglos you all constantly mock and poke fun at.
I can then lay the claim at your holiness’ feet that dares you even attempt to explain to me why it would be even remotely different if I simply changed the word “bogan” in everything said on this site to “poor, uneducated PERSON”, which would necessarily include all “non-Anglos” also – the entire third-world, basically every non-Western nation/culture too.
How is it AT ALL POSSIBLE for any of you twits (or I feel like saying “F$#&s”) to argue down a suggestion/claim such as this?
I challenge any of you idiots (some who actually declare or at least claim to be writers – for who, of what? Trash for 3 year olds?) to argue my claim away.
The claim is:
(1) If you believe that it is acceptable, rationally, logically and especially morally, to speak about poor Anglo-Australians in the disgustingly derisive and severely prejudiced fashion that you and all ya buds DO;
Then
(2) since the “premises” or reasons that you and ilk (i.e. bigots) rely upon are things such as “lack of education”, “little wealth”, “stupidity” for a number of reasons such as menial work, little intellectual stimulation due to living in a simpleton atmosphere with simpleton friends and hobbies (e.g. darts at the local RSL club, etc.), and since all of these reasons or “Premises” are NOT MUTUALLY INCLUSIVE WITH ANY ETHNICITY, LET ALONE MERELY THE ANGLO-ETHNICITY AND ONLY THE POOR ANGLOS AT THAT; this then necessarily indicates that anyone who freely and passionately [perhaps even to some they may think also – “morally”] “bullies” the poor class of Anglo-Australians, is simultaneously admitting (whether explicitly or only implicitly is not important) that they hold identical feelings and descriptions towards and of ANY group of peoples that fits in with the premises of “poor”, “uneducated”, “stupid”, “menial work”, “menial leisure/hobbies” etc., as which are constantly used to describe the so-called “bogans”. This effectively means that everybody on the planet earth except middle to upper class Europeans and in recent decades also maybe 20% of the Asian peoples are able to be freely mocked, laughed at for anything from dress-sense, style, colour co-ordination, to speech impediments, to their particular beliefs, even their taste in cars and somehow also the food they like and eat!
That is, if these leftist “anti-boganites” (usually left-wing idiots who use “bogans” as a garbage bin for any crooked corners that happen to pop up in multicultural-multiracial Australia. E.g. The so-called “Cronulla Riots”, which was actually a built-up tension over years of racism from Middle-Eastern citizens towards Anglo-Australians at Cronulla) somehow find it acceptable both morally and rationally to mock anyone or any group of people as they do with the poor Anglo-Australians, then by definition and by the logical connection from THEIR OWN originally established Premise to the conclusions inevitably brought forth by this premise, these “anti-bogan” type people are in ACTUAL FACT RACISTS, CLASSISTS, ELITISTS, and even COLONIALISTS. They are “racists” because they seem to only hold a modern western-style tertiary education as an actual “education”, as well they seem to hold only high-brow western culture as “worthy”, since regular working-class culture and the kinds of activities included in this culture are to the “anti-boganites” “dumb” and often the subject of left-wing “comedy sketches”. Their “classism” and “elitism” is obvious. The “colonialist” attitude underlying their entire perceptual paradigm shows itself in their just now above PROVEN wide-scale racism and general severe bigotry which when coupled with their “elitism” and some of their comments such as “we need to educate them”, to “enlighten” them; one can see I think a strong undercurrent within their entire existential-perceptual-horizon that beckons to the call of the Victorian European (but in their specifically “Anglo” case, which may be vital to them since racist they are quite strongly) colonialist who also thought himself “superior” and one of the lucky few to be “enlightened” and “intelligent”.
It was precisely this attitude that eventually led the British and other powerful European Nations to colonize the world and force “THEIR WAYS” onto the “stupid”, “uneducated”, “unenlightened”, “poor” and “simple” nitwits of this earth (or, the other term they can use for the world’s “stupid” is “bogan”). We call it “colonialism” today and the very concept has become historically imbued with a negative, erring reaction.

One of the biggest castles built on sand that we’ve seen. The “about” section of the site has, since day one, specified that our definition of boganism transcends race, education, income, and all of the other “-isms” that you’ve overloaded your rant with in an insecure bid to look smart. You’re obsessed with the smart-sounding word “premise”, but most of the ones you’re ascribing to us are just ones you baselessly cooked up in a previous paragraph. The bogan we attack is the one who had ample opportunity to not be ignorant, but elected not to take that opportunity up. Of course people who have had few opportunities in life are different, and 2 of the 6 TBL writers are currently working in the education industry in a low income country. To conclude, you’re an idiot. TBL

24 05 2012
James Hunter

Well, well well, what do we have here ?
I have not been so “taken Back” since “Bear Facts”s missiff so long ago.
2 of the 6 ? wow , hardly a majority, other than in the eyes of Foney Rabbid.
In a low income country ? Not Australia , for sure so please show us the depth of your research and actually tell us ? Can you ? Hmmmm didnt think so.
a negative erring reaction ? I suggest you analise that a little ,at least a little, then try and say it in a way that is positively unerringly, reactive.. See what I ment ?

28 05 2012
Bear Facts

James, James, James!
Your constant semi – literate and incoherent ramblings responding to every post reminds me of an old adage; ‘You learn nothing from talking’.

If that adage is true, then the evidence is clear – via your irritating quantity and laughable lack of quality – that you are the short priced favourite for position of the TBL village idiot.

As you did in your 24/5/12 word jumble, feel free to ask questions of yourself and refuse to answer them with relevant statements.

28 05 2012
James Hunter

bear with out facts,
so : those are your opinions and if I don’t like them you have others ?
That way you bound to get something right , eventually.

25 05 2012
Colin Wood

The (pseudo) scientific approach to footy.
Despite an innate hatred of scientists and elite intellectuals nothing gets a bogan more excited than the intellectual and scientific approach to footy as seen in the last ten years. Interestingly when Gerard Neesham questioned accepted wisdom and brought in tactics from water polo at Fremantle in the mid 90’s the footy mob derided him. He of course  broke the bogan rule always follow the mob. Having only played 9 VFL games helped make him seem  a suspiciously intellectual outsider
I was on a bus to the airport on the day the national draft had concluded in Melbourne and there was this guy who must have been a club recruiter shouting into his mobile “mate, I know he might not be as quick as others but he runs smart” And he probably thinks climate change is a crock

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