#247 – Gig Photography

10 10 2011

We may have figured this out. For all the talk, posturing and driving down inner-urban streets with all four windows down and the sonic enema of David Guetta emitting at NASA-like frequencies, the bogan does not actually like music. It has an underdeveloped Morrissey gland. Sure, it responds, Pavlovian bivalve that it is, to rave whistles and sub-bass rumblings, but things like ‘rhythm’ and ‘melody’ may well do no more than cause the bogan confusion.

So, why? Why would the bogan so studiously be such a big music fan, to the point that it actually likes ‘Music on Facebook. Not an individual artist or band, but ‘Music’? Our thousand monkeys experts at the Boganomics Institute in Genève have, after several billion hours of rigorous testing, nutted this problem out. The bogan, knowing that everyone else ‘gets’ this music caper, must fit in. It must, on pain of social exclusion, give the appearance of enjoying the mundane bleatings of Michael Bublé and, by extension, encourage the musical abortion that is Human Nature. It must undergo the trauma of indie rock gigs to prove its bona fides. This, of course, explains why the bogan is incapable of attending these gigs without resorting to shouted conversations and the occasional punch-on.

However, these are bogans we’re talking about, and subtlety is not their strong suit. The bogan would not waste time listening to music simply to enjoy music, but to establish its street cred. So, beyond the aforementioned musical drive-bys and Facebook posturing, how can the bogan prove that it is a music fan? By taking photos, of course.

Having established that the bogan is unlikely to frequent live music performances for the pleasure of witnessing live music, it becomes easily understandable that the bogan’s true purpose for being there is to stand front and centre, raise their iPhone above the crowd, in order to get a blurry, diagonal capture of half of Kings of Leon’s lighting rig, and a flurry that could possibly be their bassist’s hand, and start snapping. And snapping.

In Phuket, the bogan is perfectly happy to enjoy the experience of getting smashed on buckets of beer and errantly identifying ladyboys while only taking the occasional snapshot. The experience of live music, however, is lost on it, so attempting to create a visual record of its attendance, and uploading it – post-haste – to Facebook becomes of paramount importance. Forward-thinking bogans may even upload a Twitpic or two while still at the gig, adding reams of bogan musical veracity to its already bulging resume of forgotten, but recorded, concerts.

The Facebook photo album ‘Kings of Leon Awsum!’ rapidly assumes equivalent importance to other albums demonstrating the bogan’s max clubbing skillz such as ‘Friday Night OMG!!!1!’, ‘Boutique Fridayz!!!’ and, of course, the unforgettable ‘Friday Night with the Girlz!!!’. The only real difference between these undifferentiated dark blobs of pixels is that three contain elevated images of poorly arranged cleavage, while the other (un)focuses on a brightly lit stage 40 metres away. The bogan now understands music.


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294 responses

10 10 2011
Vviv2

Musical drive bys…..Love it!
The younger bogans also equate their love of music by the number of amps & subbies they can cram into their chevrodores….

31 10 2011
Brent Kortis

I love it when you talk to some Gen X or Y and they proudly say theyre “really” musical or right into music, it prompts me to ask how many instruments they play ? And they say…. “None but Ive got 300 CD’s”.
Mostly pop, indie,classic rock and reggae to go with their pot smoking sesses. Thats how you gain cred and experience in life, you buy it.

10 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Oh God. This annoys me so much it makes me want to glass every carnt guilty of it. I try to get my revenge by pulling the finger in their lens every time I see it but it’s not enough.

Saturday night I went to see Chris Cornell’s free gig at Rock Lily (more on the bogan sightings in the casino a bit later – I’m a little emotional right now for non-TBL reasons) where there was a clear no photography rule – but farkwits were still taking pics every chance they could. Moment security looked away they were snapping.

It’s even worse when yr at a rock gig and there’s a mosh going but some precious flower is trying to take photos and gets all pissy when you bump into them. Dude/bitch, if yr gonna stand in the middle of the floor yr gonna be hit. No one gives a shit about the maxxtreme pics yr taking to post on facebook for all yr farkwit mates to see.

Also equally annoying – people who raise phones during slow songs and think it’s an adequate replacement for a lighter. No, it is not, it just makes you look like a carnt.

/end rant.

10 10 2011
had to reply

Is this serious?

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Yep, Ash is as serious as Erectile Disfunction.

And harder to cure.

10 10 2011
James Hunter

Simon, “Harder” to cure. was that the rtoot of a stiff cure ?

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Boom tish.

10 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Better people than you have tried and failed, Simon.

14 10 2011
Andrea

What is with the constant abbreviation of your/you’re to yr?

Inner bogan coming out when you’re ranting?

As for the content, every one of your responses to the situations equals pure bogan.

17 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Yr (yeah bitch, I did it again) response is bogan.

I win by invoking Fevola’s Law.

10 10 2011
the beef

On a tangent as the warmer weather approaches… What is it with sand that makes bogans play Jack Johnson, when at all other times they’re listening to Hot Hits volume xyz?

(mind you, I couldn’t think of a single situation where Jack Johnson would add value, so I guess the beach is as good of a place as any)

10 10 2011
Mick

It’s the old story, the bogan wants to be seen to be hip but being knowledgeable on any subject takes effort…something the bogan is unwilling to do.

I went to a British India gig (yeah, okay, you can all stop laughing now. I was alone in a strange town) a while back and spotted a bit of this phone thing. Couldn’t work it out. Tried to chat to a few young’uns about the drummer. He went orright. Lots of blank stares. They really have no idea apart from what some MMM type retard has told them.

You’ll like this. I sent a text off to a mate who swears he loves his music more than anyone in Oz. Said I’m off to see British India. Got a text back saying he didn’t know they were playing and was it a one-dayer or test match. This is the same guy who flew to NZ to see Green Day.

Oh, this is close to home.

http://www.macrobusiness.com.au/2011/10/who-wants-a-vodka-aldi/

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Next entry #248, twice #124, what is twice as maxtreme as #124?
Dammit there goes my 1 #124 gag allowance, and so early.

People who talk through gigs should be shot. I got stuck next a motormouth girl at a Foo Fighters gig years ago, when they were still cool OK, and she did not shut up from start to finish. I was wishing they allowed glass at these gigs.

10 10 2011
ionric

I had a same experience at a “That 1 Guy” gig, except it wasn’t just 1, it was about 10 of them. In his quieter songs you literally couldn’t hear him over their chatter.
And don’t get me started on the “look at moi” morons who think it’s cool to get up on their boyfriend’s shoulders. At the last Big Day Out, the boiler room was just infested with these vermin.

10 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I have no objection to the last one as long as the girls understand the social contract that they are obliged to flash their tits if in that position and getting the best view. I’ve been known to carry the odd drunk chick in that position myself.

10 10 2011
martin

Yes. The bogan needs to be told what it “likes”, because it’s a moron. How else do you explain the popularity of 2-Day FM, and the fact that you can’t listen to MMM for more than 20 minutes without hearing Khe Sahn *again*. Or that there were so many poxy wiggers during the late 90s and early-mid noughties.

Image is everything, f#ck substance. Whatever gets you #124 asap with the least amount of effort.

This is why I don’t listen to music anymore unless I’m drunk, because once upon a time it could and did change the world. Now it doesn’t add up to shit. It’s merely another consumer item designed to decorate the bogan’s choice of image and some off the shelf precarious, vapid and self absorbed political and social standing.

Which can change in a flash because the bogan thinks conviction is a word that has something to do with 1788 and Ned Kelly. The male bogan will change it’s belief system if the female one it’s getting #124 off is different.

10 10 2011
p'bee

with every comment you become more of a curmudgeon, martin.

10 10 2011
martin

It’s the bogans’ fault. I’m actually a perfect gentlemen in the alternative universe where most of the people aren’t bogans instead of the other way around like here. I deserve to be born as an aristocrat in my next life. Or else god is an even bigger c#nt than he already is.

10 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin,
Maybe you could come back as an artist ?

10 10 2011
martin

Yeah that’d be cool. Drug consumption would be a necessity instead of a hindrance. I can’t draw but. I can draw butts though. I’d be good at that. Female ones. I could be a butt artist and the bogans would love me and pay lots for every piece.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

God, too much material, head might explode.

10 10 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
Martin as a guest star on “Little Britain”
Yeh butt no butt yeh butt no butt butt.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I don’t want Martin to be the butt of jokes.

10 10 2011
Vviv2

Just please don’t offer to spray paint them? ^_^

10 10 2011
martin

No. I was thinking I could do artsy in your face butt pictures, with fluro colours and shit and the butt would look a little but unrealistic, but then I could also do stuff like showing a woman with a naked butt in the middle of a busy city street crossing the road or something.

The people in the street wouldn’t be looking at her butt and it would be really deep, like a statement on how sexuality isn’t a big deal anymore.

Youse have got to admit it’s not a half bad idea. You’d just have to move to the eastern suburbs in Sydney, make friends with some pretentious dickheads, paint the pictures and you’d be set.

10 10 2011
Vviv2

Martin, I have JUST what you need right here!

http://www.vberkvlt.com/pages/news/instant-artist-statement-bullshit-generator

Seriously, I’ve been very tempted to use this….with your deep thinking you’d have a real career happening in no time….

12 10 2011
12 10 2011
Vviv2

Ahh Thank you Nixie! That’s the one I was trying to find….I have it as an app, so I had no web address… :-) xx

10 10 2011
James Hunter

Vviv2
So long as he does not finger paint them, Have to be especially carefull with the earth tones.

10 10 2011
Vviv2

Yep…I’ve missed that humour James. :-) xx

Martin DID say flouro colours & shit……

10 10 2011
Mick

A butt artist?

I’m with Simon…I’m walking away before I make bad bogan gay jokes…

10 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Can I draw the penis that gives the butt #124? I’m good at that.

10 10 2011
martin

Don’t you give #124 to skanks every weekend? Just take a photo and I’ll use a photoshop effect on it.
Instant art.

Brown dick in white butt will give me some libtard cred.

10 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Not every weekend. Maybe every third. Nevertheless, I keep an archive of such photos.

10 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

p’bee says curmudgeon, I say grumpy c*nt.

10 10 2011
James Hunter

Ash, A grumpy cunt is what you get for mixing your curmudgeon with a #124

29 10 2011
Taariq Hassan

I don’t care that Bogans are pre cro magnon ooga boogas when it comes to anything that happened after their ancestors mistakenly descended from the trees, I love Music and Listen to vinyl on a top end system. I lie down and shut my eyes and just listen to jazz, west coast hippie rock from the woodstock era, indian classical and devotional music, blues, European classical music and more.

10 10 2011
C. Glass Esq.

I’m beginning to think that it’s iPhones bringing their bogans along to concerts rather than the other way around

10 10 2011
the beef

I happened onto Love Songs & Dedications the other night (Mix FM in Melbourne). A stammering half-wit said that his lady-friend was his only “realty”… What? No McMansion??

10 10 2011
Blueballs

I like music, but I haven’t been to a live gig of note since 1999

I think I saw Ed Kuepper somewhere in Fortitude Valley in 2000, but just got off the plane after 6months backpacking tour of Timor 4 hours earlier and can only remember buying the first round, can’t for the life of me actually remember hearing any music. Perhaps if I had a digital camera/phone, the mystery of the lost weekend could’ve been solved?

Anyhow, the reason I don’t go to gigs is I think I might have developed a mind case of agoraphobia compounded by an intolerance of fuckwits.

Thats why I don’t do BDO’s, despite the fact there’s usually one or two bands I really like playing. I just know that the heady mix of overpriced drinks, dehydration/sun and upstart little cunts wearing flag capes or E’d up Ken Dolls getting in my personal space would be a recipe for disaster.

Mute point, too old for that shit now, home most nights with a glass of metamucil trying to figure out how to work iTunes and wondering why half the shit on the radio gets played.

10 10 2011
kipp

It’s moot point, not mute point.

10 10 2011
Blueballs

only if it’s a point uttered in silence…

10 10 2011
Vviv2

Agreed BB,
I love music….that’s the reason I no longer have any desire to go to a concert to be squashed, trampled & abused by stupid morons who have no idea of the artist beyond thinking if they wear a mask or leather they must be Maxxtreme, or who whose idea of musical appreciation is to stand in inconvenient areas to play air guitar so their mate can take photos of them with the band in the background….. supposedly proving how cool they are

10 10 2011
Vviv2

Mind you, the fact that I can listen to better quality music in comfort at home more than makes up for the lack of atmosphere…..

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Hard to beat a good gig. But I’m also getting too intolerant for them, plus they are damned expensive. The last one I went to though (Pixies) I had a lounge chair all to myself up on the first level and that was brilliant. I did not have to put up with people invading my space or getting stuck behind a 6ft 5 dude and being unable to see.

10 10 2011
urbanreverie

Guys, it’s time to celebrate! To celebrate the 10,000th visitor to …

THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!

I’ve decided to run a little competition. You can check it out here:

http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2011/10/10/quiz-where-am-i/

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Morrisey Gland?

Morrisey sucks, as do The Smiths. Mopey bloody Poms.

10 10 2011
p'bee

bastard. and there’s a lot of humour in the smiths – look at vicar in a tutu.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Sorry P’bee. I think they are horribly over rated.

10 10 2011
p'bee

well i’m not designing you a snazzy uniform for our planned bogue-free utopia, so there.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Dude! Harsh.

Ok he can play on the side stage.

10 10 2011
p'bee

i guess i can live with that compromise.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

See, that’s what separates us from Bogans.

If you were a bogan you would have just glassed me P’bee.

10 10 2011
p'bee

not being a bogan, and being a weak uncoordinated girl meaning i’d probably manage to glass myself instead.

on the cure, i just bought a collection of their early singles and now i’m wondering why it took me so long.

10 10 2011
martin

Mixed up is my favourite. All the classics done electronically and extended.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Extended electronic remixes?

10 10 2011
martin

Yeah it’s this:

“A Forest” makes me want to go back to uni and be a libtard.

10 10 2011
martin

I just put the link in there, I didn’t mean for people to buy it! Oh, it’s awaiting moderation.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I’m only getting it if David Guetta has done them.

10 10 2011
James Hunter

Pbee, weak,uncordinated , girl, isnt that tautology !!! Duck and run

10 10 2011
p'bee

a poorly thrown glass is making its way somewhere in your vague vicinity right now.

10 10 2011
martin

F#ck you Simon. Coming from someone who likes Foo Fighters you’ve lost a lot of credibility with music taste. Morrisey is cool, he’s the king of 80s uni cool. Or was it the 70s? Whatever.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

F*ck you Martin. He is only cool with hipsters, have you seen his haircut, and what’s with the flowers? I reckon he may just be responsible for Emo. And he gets called a poet. It’s enough to turn anyone off.

10 10 2011
martin

He’s like The Cure he has a broader appeal unlike most libtard bands.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Now the Cure ARE cool.

Is John Butler the most Libtard band ever?

10 10 2011
martin

Most bogan-libtard band ever.

10 10 2011
p'bee

boguetard?

10 10 2011
martin

No it needs the lib in there. Even though mega right wing tea party randist nutters are considered liberal and the definition of the word liberal seems to be convoluted.

10 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Almost got through Atlas Shrugged…

*accepts bouquet*

*blows kisses to crowd*

…but reading 1,200 pages of fictional board meetings and whingeing industrialists crying poor begins to wear after a time…

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Your next mission, should you choose to accept it is to read The Fountainhead. I did with only mild side affects.

Then lets see ya try Ullysses. Farkin incomprehensible. I got to page 2!

10 10 2011
martin

Aren’t you lucky they made a movie about it just recently.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Which one?

10 10 2011
martin

Atlas shrugged.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

To late, Read it. Damn.

Want to know how it ends?

10 10 2011
martin

The world blows up? Libtards take over the earth and the highest paying jobs become “save the black islamic lesbian whales” type jobs?

10 10 2011
urbanreverie

I bought Atlas Shrugged for twenty cents from the op shop in Narooma about ten years ago. I got through about forty pages before I could no longer suppress my gag reflex. Putting the politics of the book aside, it is truly bad literature with the most stilted, wooden style of prose I’ve ever read.

What a waste of twenty cents. How the hell it’s become The Holy Bible for those Randroid nutjobs, I don’t know. Randroids are scary. Very scary.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Actually Martin, that’s pretty close from memory. And the killer threw the gun in the lake.

10 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

It was a fair while ago that I read them Urban. If I remember rightly it took a bit to get into, pretty preachy. I have a 100 page rule, can’t stop before that, ‘sept James Joyce.

10 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin,
The greenies can be stirred if you explain that scientists have discovered that whale farts are the magor cause of green house gass. more so then cows and that there is a secrete plan by United Nations to send fleets of Black Helicopters out to eradicate them thus saving planet earth. Say you heard it straight from Bob Brown.

10 10 2011
martin

I’ll make sure I’ve got some buddy holly glasses, a cardigan and a tea cosy on when I do James.

Libtards are so easy to stir up, all I have to do is use a derogatory word for any race except for white people, or give a hint that I may vaguely think that men and women have differences.

10 10 2011
clipper

The Smiths were great, but I think Morrisey got a bit too self indulgent once he parted company with Johnny Marr. Most of his CDs had far too much filler in them.
Martin, I have that mixed up CD the Cure did – came out before the glut of them we have now, when it was something interesting, not just a way to try and fleece the fans.

10 10 2011
Mick

The Smiths and The Doors have the same reaction everywhere. You either love them or see them as pretentious tossers.

10 10 2011
p'bee

except that part of morissey’s appeal is the fact that he is a pretentious tosser.

11 10 2011
Blueballs

Jim Morrison had the good sense to drop dead right after his peak, Morrisey just keeps bleating on.

Talk about self indulgent twat, he recently had a gig in Ireland where he searched all the punters on entry to ensure no one was carrying any meat products. If he ever tours Oz again, I’m going to go just to smuggle a t-bone in and throw it at him.

10 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I love you, Simon. It is an aspiration of mine to glass Morrissey.

10 10 2011
Mick

I always found the only time I played them was when I came home drunk at three in the morning after being seen off by the object of my desire.

So yes…glass ‘em.

11 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Don’t get me started on The Doors. Most over rated band ever, no contest.

Jim Morrison defined spankerism for a new generation.

11 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts Who Get In Me Way With iPhones

I like some Doors songs. Not many though.

11 10 2011
martin

I don’t know much about Morrisey so I guess I’m wrong.

I agree The Doors are very overated. Usually one of the first bands bogans like if they ever fancy themselves as a music lover.

I remember I heard this bootleg of Jim Morrison and Hendrix called “Fuck her in the ass”.

Que #124 jokes?

11 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Spot on that Martin,

If you know nothing about music but want to seem cool mention The Doors!

11 10 2011
Vviv2

JEEEEZE!
People say black metal’s too rough around the edges, to rude & out there!
Maybe I’ll play them some ‘classic’ artists instead. ^_^

11 10 2011
martin

I think you mean Death Metal? Death Metal is way grosser than that Viv2! I could go into details but I better not it’d be a bit bogan.

11 10 2011
Vviv2

No Martin, I like black metal, it’s bands like
Tool, 22HERTZ, Machinehead, Slipknot, Dope & Mushroomhead.

Though I like some death metal too such as Cradle Of Filth & Strapping Young Lad. I agree that they can get pretty gross, so I listen rather than watch! ^_^

But thanks for the clip…. it’s going to come in VERY handy! *smirk*

11 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

My favourite metal music is Creed, those guys f%cking rock!

11 10 2011
Vviv2

Sorry Simon, but >_< !!! Not my cup of Bundy at all….. I just spent some time in Lightning Ridge, their idea of metal is Conway Twitty!! \m/ ^_^ \m/

11 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Yeah, he is one heavy dude. Their Heavy Metal program out there is run by Macca, it’s called Australia All Over.\m/

*with arms wide open*
*glasses self before Ash does*

Normal programming will resume soon.

11 10 2011
Vviv2

There there Simon,
Have you taken your medication today?
Even Ash has to pity you…..

11 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

A true glasser never shows pity on a carnt.

11 10 2011
p'bee

fun fact: macca who hosts australia all over lives in my street in suburban sydney.

11 10 2011
Mick

So your street is to blame for all those stupid birds and overwhelming condescension that is sunday morning ABC radio.

Can you say hi for my mum? She loves him.

12 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

P’bee, you have the opportunity to do mankind a great service. I will leave the method of his horrible, painfull, cruel, violent, drawnout death up to you. Best wishes.

12 10 2011
p'bee

that’s a big responsibility you’ve placed on my shoulders, simon.

12 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I have faith P’bee!

29 10 2011
Taariq Hassan

the doors often quoted jazz tunes such as ‘afro blue’ on live albums. None of you nupties would know that because you are arguing about brain dead pop music . Jazz is where is at man!

11 10 2011
MeAgain

I agree Simon. Morissey is a depressing pommie prick.

10 10 2011
Pandabater

Speaking of taking photos, plenty would have been taken at
The Fourth Reich Charity Family Fun Day where you could take the kids to see the bikes,tatts & tits show. Unless you are black or jewish I presume.

10 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Not touching the The Smiths thread. Farken eggshell central. Sensitive creatures, those Morrissey fans. Heaven Knows They’re Miserable Now.

In fairness though, reckon U2 might be a tad more responsible for emo… and ending world hunger… and providing Desmond Tutu’s inspiration, therefore freeing Mandela, ending apartheid, and willing the Irish to an inspirational victory over the Wallabies. Same can’t be said for the mighty fightin’ block-rockin’ ‘Boks.

Went to see these lads a few years ago…

… and it seems gigmatuer photography ain’t exclusively the domain of the bogue. Some purty young gentlemen standing in front of me mit some purty fluffy hair an’ some purty tight jeans were raisin’ the iPhones…

Shoe-gazers have no option but to raise the iPhone. If they’s gazin’ shoe, they cain’t be seein’ gig. That’s, like, fizzix, or anatomix or sumfint. And no lighters allowed I’d reckon, in this modern society of #39.

PCGM @ BRMC gig? ROFLOLcopter crash.

And just to tack on a semi-related rider, for a bunch of hippies, John Butler Trio fans seem pretty aggressive in their talk of murdering Andrew Bolt’s children. That’s not pacifism I know and am apathetic towards.

10 10 2011
martin

U2 is the domain of nogans imo.

10 10 2011
Mick

One day Bono is going to see his ego in the mirror. He’ll take a swing at it. Not enough room for Bono and his ego in one room.

Probably create some sort of black hole thing.

10 10 2011
Mick

JBT fans do what they’re told to…much like convicted racist Andrew Bolt fans.

They’re the same sheep but don’t realise it.

10 10 2011
Davo-The only tradie without a $70k ute, tatts or a missus!

Iggy Pop getting his dick out is always funny, but i wouldn’t film it.

10 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Must be purty wrinkly these days…

Like a salty sliver o’ pork crackling, ready to give some rough, donkey-punchin’, half-mongrel #124 to Debbie Harry.

Heart of *glass*

10 10 2011
Matt

Gig photography? Seriously? Don’t you think you are kind of stretching the whole “things bogans like” now? You’re making it so as us non bogans have to enjoy these now “bogan” activities with a deep sense of irony. Not as much fun at all!

11 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Actually, gig photography on iPhones is one of the most truly bogan posts recently.

12 10 2011
martin

I want to make everything bogan so nobody enjoys anything.

11 10 2011
blair47

Morrison Hostel by TISM

Jimbo, boy, you’re a croc of shit,
You’re a boozed, selfish thug;
Why don’t you give your mouth a go
And in the other hole put a plug?

By Christ you’ve got a long long way
On a schoolboy’s talent with words -
One crappy bit of symbolism
And you’re adored by a army of turds.

You’re a selfish, rude, arrogant prick;
You’re basically pretty stupid;
Your mysticism’s a lump of shit,
And so are all the girls you rooted.

So don’t talk about being sad and lonely
Or fucking misunderstood
Because underneath that self-pitying phoney
Is a brutal, selfish hood.

I support the police that took you off stage,
I support the fact you bled;
I support the cops who carried you off,
I support the fact you’re dead.

I think that you’re a troubled guy
And I think that’s nothing new;
I think your fans are a bunch of turds
Almost as immature as you.

And when I’m in my supermarket
And some prick pushes in front of my trolley
I’ll be reminded of your stinking bravado
And I’ll ask the cunt to say sorry.

You fans would excuse any rudeness
Just because it comes from you -
You’d tell them to go drop dead
And they’d say, “Oh, how true, how true, how TRUE.”

You need a nine to five job, Jimbo;
You need to get to Flinders St. by train -
Go and find yourself a regular income,
Then you can write a song about pain.

Try and save for the kids’ school fees;
Take some care when you drive a car;
Put your rubbish in a bin
You fucking great rock super star.

You’ve spawned a host of cock-sure shits
Who are nearly always filthy rich,
And think because they’re a bit like Jimbo
They can act like stinking pricks:

An army of brainless, arty youth
That look down upon us common plods -
But they barrack for good ol’ Jimbo
Like the fucking Richmond cheer squad.

So when you’re listening to Morrison Hotel
And Jimbo’s in top form
Whining about this harsh cruel world
And the fact he was ever born

Remember that his fans are rapt
And mourning their suffering lives,
And go down and discuss it at Subterrain -
And least, if Daddy’ll drive.

Jimbo, king of the private school kids:
The girls from P.L.C.
Who identify with his tortured soul
Because they’ve got dropped by friend number three,

Who was Kent from Xavier College -
In H.S.C. he got a “A” for English,
And between Jimbo and William Blake
He hasn’t the brains to distinguish.

Jimbo, father of a generation
Of private school depression idols;
From Nick Cave on, they don’t kill themselves -
Just tell us why they’re suicidal.

He’s made self-pity legitimate;
It means we’ll have to face
One after another artist with integrity,
Like REO Speedwagon – sorry, I meant Hugo Race.

Well, up your arse Jimbo old man,
Up your fucking hole:
You’re a prick pure and simple -
It’s about time you were told;

And up your arse to all your fans;
Up your arse to your tortured, artistic hell;
And while we’re fucking at it,
Up your arse to Morrissey as well;

Up your arse to Robert Smith;
Up your arse to Albert Camus;
All those “I’m suffering for my arty” types,
Jimbo, I blame them all on you.

Anyone who handles life’s pain
With a token of mature self examination -
It’s time they told these pounces to stick it
Up their bogus self infatuation:

And if you think I’ll stop at this,
The answer is, no way, never -
If you think Jim Morrison was a wanker,
Well, Christ – I can rave on like this forever.

12 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

A bit of TISM reminds me

Where is Bag’O? I enjoyed his missives from the west.

12 10 2011
James Hunter

Havent seen Brimstone for a while or Pinky ?
Must admit Blair47 made my think(shudder) of PT. just some bits of usage and turns of phrase.

12 10 2011
martin

Fark he wasn’t that bad was he? There’s nothing wrong with a bit of mispent youth and feeling alienated and pissed off that you have to work 8+ hours a day for 30-40 years.

Personally I don’t think much of The Doors because I think their music was just pretty ordinary and simple without much depth.

He looked like a wanker, that knew he was a wanker, it was all just an act.

31 10 2011
jaydyn jaspur jamyson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjRa0B5OYVM for anyone wanting to hear it.

11 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

If this fine woman ever tours I’ll be guilty of a bit of crap front-row gig photography…

… even if I hafta bust out my Nokia 6610 t’do it. Grainier than the WA Wheatbelt. But Fiona, she’s like the female Morrissey… only more talented, has a better vocal range, better songs, better lyrics, is more attractive, probably doesn’t ban beef jerky from her gigs and, perhaps not entirely surprisingly, is less of a pussy…

Naaah, he’s alright mate.

In other news, Channel Ten’s latest poll “Would you feel safe having a convicted wife-killer as your taxi driver?” yields predictable results.

11 10 2011
Mick

Well, being a male I would feel safe. I vote yes.

If all blokes think like me then the result will be 50/50. That would confuse a few Channel Ten executives/rabblerousers.

12 10 2011
martin

Zzzzz, boooring. I’d do her though, as long as she didn’t expect me to think she got where she is via talent and not her looks.

12 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

I’m sure she’s thrilled you’d do her. Your terms could be a bit of a stretch though.

Perhaps Morrissey could oblige. Just don’t arrive at his door with a bouquet of veal schnitzels. Awkward.

12 10 2011
martin

TBL poll:

Would you feel safe having people who vote on main stream media television polls actually voting for real during elections?

F#Ck. I forgot to watch Chaser. Yay for iview.

12 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I remember watching Ms Apple’s Criminal video as a boy of seven when my sister had it going one day.

I have a strong suspicion that it was from then that I got on the path I am today.

12 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Ah, young’un. Reckon I saw that when I was about fifteen. That party of theirs looked a bit depressing. Still, wouldn’t’ve minded in. But never would’ve got past the velvet rope. Calvin Klein models on heroin only? F#ck.

11 10 2011
Chris

What about Rock of Ages, We Will Rock You and the like?

Ricky Gervais pretty much summed it up for me:

The other day I was at work and I turned around to see a female co-worker, who up until that point I respected, buying tickets to Rock of Ages online. Ugh.

14 10 2011
urbanreverie

And … in this week’s episode of …

THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!

We explore how Boguette’s social life is affected by her new socio-economic circumstances!

http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2011/10/14/episode-39-through-thick-and-thin/

And also, congratulations to Ash for correctly guessing the location of the banner photo of my blog – North Lakes, Queensland.

(No, not the Cronulla Ash. This other Ash.)

14 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

You can call me Bogan Ash. I don’t mind. Cronulla Ash is inaccurate though cause I don’t live there specifically.

I gotta say I was a tad underwhelmed by this one because Bogue was too, well, smart.

Also, on another topic – Beauty and the Geek is back on, and as Urbz (and anyone else who follows me on Twitter) knows it’s must-see TV in Casa de Ash. But I gotta say they’re outdoing themselves in faking it here – even the bogans are catching on.

14 10 2011
martin

I agree with Bogue, RBT is an abomination and a violation of privacy.

14 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness
14 10 2011
p'bee

there’s a poster for that show at my train station. even with the supposed celebrity’s name and source of ‘fame’ listed, i still have no clue who the woman on the poster is.

14 10 2011
Pandabater

Hopefully this is another show which is coming “soon” & we won’t ever see it.

14 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I’ll never see it Panda
Coz I’m not a bogan
Cool huh.

14 10 2011
Pandabater

You’ll never see it Simon ’cause you’re watching Home & Away. ;-)

14 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

How did you know?

14 10 2011
Pandabater

Well Neighbours is on at 6.30.

14 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Just before my bed time!

Sometimes I stay up till Packed to the Rafters is on. I’m always dissapointed Pat never shows up though.

14 10 2011
Pandabater

Fark, your TV would implode into some sort of pun induced black hole.

14 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Is “Packed to the Rafters” code for #124?

I can see Ash at a nighclub saying “I’d love to pack her to the rafters.

That could put a whole new slant on your TV viewing Panda.

14 10 2011
p'bee

you know it wouldn’t surprise me if there are people who already do use that phrase.

14 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

It is not as far as I am aware, but I take this post as a challenge.

When I go out next, I shall ask a woman who I wish to engage in #124 with if she wants me to pack her to the rafters, and report back on my findings.

Not that I’ve ever watched the show. I will watch some Celebrity Apprentice though. Mostly because Wendell Sailor is on it and I like him.

On that subject – was Warwick Capper the first ever NAB? Worth debate.

14 10 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
Ash certainly wouldn’t “see the light” !

14 10 2011
martin

The bogue hates corporate corruption and corporate spivs, unless it gets to be one too. Celebrity Apprentice allows the bogan to fantasise about being a corrporate spiv via one of Australia’s newest and most successful ones, he also did it via the bogues favourite method of spivdom – #85 and #174.

14 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Ya gunna get Glassed Ash ya Carnt.

Can you get a mate to record it on his Iphone so we can watch?

14 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

For you carnts? Anything.

14 10 2011
martin

Get them to glass you while you’re doing #124.

14 10 2011
Chris

Okay. How come the Herald Suns of the world call for zero tolerance for “junkies” who get busted with drugs in Australia but then scream for something to be done when “Äussies” get busted with drugs and face harsh sentences overseas?

14 10 2011
Mick

Because dirty foreigners are worse than drugs on the bogan scale of Things Bogans Sometimes Dislike.

14 10 2011
Vviv2

Also Chris, because they are hypocritical arseholes who will hype up anything for a headline… ^_^

14 10 2011
martin

I was sympathetic towards him but then I saw his picture, he looks like a classic bullying bogan shark eyed f#ckwad. If that’s the case then Bali can have him.

15 10 2011
urbanreverie

Too right, Martin! I lost sympathy for him too for exactly the same reason.

BTW have you seen his profile photo on Facebook? He’s holding one hand up with his phone to take his photo … but there appear to be two hands on his chest. But there’s nobody else within shot. Bizarre.

15 10 2011
martin

Nah haven’t seen that. Don’t know where I saw it just remember classic dark eyed bogan who specialises in death stare and glassings.

15 10 2011
Mick

Who’s gonna play him in the Channel Nein mini-series, UnderBali?

You know it’s going to happen. He’ll be released into his parent’s care, come back to Oz and make a fortune out of being a f#ckwit.

It may be time to give the sniper rifle a clean…

16 10 2011
Pandabater

Chris Lilley

16 10 2011
martin

In just over 10 years time when Schappelle Corby comes home I’m going to go and live in a tent in the bush for 6 months.

16 10 2011
Pandabater

2021, Dungog International Airport.
A now hirsute Maxx Markson is seen
rolling his wheelchair towards what
looks like a 55 year old version of
Schapelle Corby waving a well
wrinkled FHM photo contract.
The scene takes turn for the worst
when mother hen Mercedes crash
tackles Maxx when she mistakes
him for Mike Munro. One plastic
hip & two plastic boobs are
damaged during the melee.

15 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Glad you brought it up, Chris…

Saw Bolta snorting coke outta some guy’s arsehole in a scungy cubicle at the ViperSnake earlier tonight, an’ I’m not one to judge… but he’s got a set o’ nostrils on him like a farken jet engine. Nearly sucked out my lower intestine…

That’s strictly between me an’ him though. The Herald Sun’s all for individual liberty… unless it’s fer some poor, friendless, guttersucking down-’n-outer on the corner of Victoria St & Lennox who’s just pissed his pants. Scum of the earth, those folks. Don’t have the common decency to be able to afford coke, or to be a little Aussie shitbag on the streets of Kuta…

But when all’s said, if it weren’t fer those destitute farken losers, An Affair Tonight’d be a fiddyfiddy split between weight-loss miracles and which supermarket sells the cheapest shit. Izzat what you want Chris? I, fer one, expect more from my 6:30 current affairs pogroms.

And Ash, Warwick Capper weren’t never a new-age bogan. Stone age azzit gets. On the other hand, he did run into a buttload of cash before he knew what to do with it. Now he’s the illegitimate father of Dr Geoffrey Edelsten’s lovely wife.

Don’t tell the Doc that though.

15 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

#27462 – JB Hi Fi, damn those stores suck. Lucky they had The Wire going really cheap.

What do you call a tubby nerd with 2 sleeve tatts?

15 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Dane Sw… oh, tubby nerd y’say?

Hmm, letzee…

A My Chemical Romance, New Found Glory or Fallout Boy fan?

Am I in the terrain?

Feel sorry fer those clowns. In fiddy years’ time their grandkids are gonna ask ‘em what the story is with the tatts…

“Which war were you in Grampa? Was New Found Glory the name of your infantry unit?”

“No, you curious li’l dickens. They were a pop-punk band out of Southern California or something.”

“Gee, that’s pissweak, Grampa. Did they have Christian overtones?”

“Go play with yer toys, you little shit.”

“Were you in the front row at their gigs, recording on your iPhone, trying to brush up against young Christian girls in the vain hope of taking one home?”

*glass*

15 10 2011
martin

Maybe some yogan name like Julian, Hamish or Lachlan.

The guys who work in JB are little gen y tossers. It’s the gen y girls that make it worth while. Even though they’re usually tossers too.

15 10 2011
kingbuzz0

I gave #124 to a girl in a JB Hi-Fi once.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Kingbuzzo,
So would that be “low-fidelity” ?
Hmmmm
How was your “”base “driver” afterwards ?

15 10 2011
James Hunter

Simon,2s2s&Martin,
Just got back from Newcastle auditions for Australia’s Got Talent.
Your comments re JB LoFi made me reflective.
There must have been every one in Newcastle who owned a guitar or could sing there today,literally queued round the block,Well up to thre corner and out of sight ,anyway.
Thank God we had been asked to come and had everything organised before.
So a big thankyou to Fremantle Productions.
We did the “Molten Lead” gig. Heat up some sinkers and pour it into the cupped hand of Nurse who immediately dunks into cold water and makes a perfect casting of her cupped fingers complete with finger prints.?

Makes me wonder how many kids by a Guitar or drums and become part of a band and only ever do maybe a handfull of gigs?
Good to see so many having a go though because even one half of one percent need to be something and wwe all benifit.

15 10 2011
Vviv2

Best of luck James…. I hope you do well! ^_^

15 10 2011
James Hunter

Vviv2, Thanks, We have a bit of fun which is the main thing.
Thinking of getting a full cast together again for Adelaide Fringe 2013. That will be something if we can. I’ll keep you all posted.

15 10 2011
martin

It’s one of those jobs isn’t it, where you’ve got f#ck all chance of making any money out of it let alone real money. Like acting or being a photographer or something.

Tell us when you’re gonna be on tele James.

15 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Good work JH.

Nah Spurious, looked more like, sheez I don’t know what kids listen to, but for our age group you would go coldplay or somefink lame. More had the gamer look to him, did I mention neck tatts as well?

15 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin,
It sure is.I have been involved in the freak show business if you like since sometime round 1996 and the Big Day Outs, various Fringe festivals and have over 350 gigs in total. (an estimate as I long since stopped counting) and and have had loads of fun but could never say I have made money of any significance.
Seen so many entertainers come and go a lot reealy tallented but especially in this country it is very hard for them to make much more then costs. The lucky few that make it big often get their breaks in USA or UK or struggle with a life of hand to mouth uncertainty with TV work, film work and live venues all notoriously irregular in opertunities.
It is difficult when commercial TV imports such a huge ammount and I suppose it is mostly market driven so we end creating our own dirth.
Enough I wander .
Sure will keep you all posted.
Cheers
Jim

16 10 2011
Danny

#248 Competing in “Dream Team” competitions

16 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Yup.

But that doesn’t mean Dane Swan ain’t a lock… unless he’s playing in a Grand Final… with Cameron Ling tagging… in which case you’d best leave him out.

TBL Dream Team:

LBP: C Sheen. FB: Anal. RBP: D Goodrem.

LBF: Slater. CHB: Gordon. RBF: Pandora Bracelet.

LW: N Chomsky. C: Straya’s First Female PM. RW: S Palin.

LFF: M Booblay. CHF: M MarxXxson. RFF: P!nk.

LFP: A Rieu. FF: B Fevola. RFP: D Guetta.

Followers: E Hardy, S Corby, B Grylls.

Farken, that took a while. Carnt be farked with the bench. Bedtime.

Farken Geelong… Farken Cattery… My “Cattery Will Get You Nowhere” banner got me farken nowhere on the day.

Go Pies.

And go the French rugby union team, apparently.

17 10 2011
Danny

Superb arrangement 2S2S. It’s an activity that combines many bogan traits: AFL/NRL/whatever, gambling, “owning” precious items (e.g. I bought So-and-so at a bargain price, and look at him now), and hence bragging, reading the Herald Sun to see if your collection was worthy enough to make it in the paper, slagging off bad performers (tall-poppyism).

17 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Man, to check out the comments section on a News Ltd sports story is to step into a minefield of misplaced anger and purty piss-poor spelling…

Everything’s either a “joke” or a “disgrace” too. Like, what’s up with that?

Mind you, the comments over at Fairfax ain’t much better in that regard. Bastards barred me for suggesting Jeff Kennett schedule a play date with former Carlton Football Club president and current alcoholic John Elliott, where the two grown men can play with their golliwogs, Buddy, Cyril, Chance, Betts, Yarran and Garlett…

Not that I have a bone to pick with the lovely folks at ‘fax… or with Kennett… or with Elliott. It’s just really immature on their part. All of them.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

2s2s,
I have comments all the time that News . com wont publish.
Anything where I point out what a lying moral less ashole Foney Rabbitt is.
Anything where i critisise the overarching greed and evilness of pure capitalism.
Anything where I question the morality of usa politicians and their $ centric world.
Anything that critises Rupert and his goons.

Wonder I get anything published.
Have a lot of fun and get lots of likes on Aljazerra so all is not lost.
Doubt if Elliot has been sober since he was weaned. and Kennet is just an unfortunate precursor to the unfortunate Foney Rabbitt. Tony reminds me of the SS Captain from Hello Hello. Goose Steppinh and Heal clicking his way from one Siege Heil to the next.

17 10 2011
martin

How about a libtard dream team:

I’ll use a soccer set up. Libtards wouldn’t dare touch a footy.

LF : Germaine Greer CF : Julian Assange RF: Geoffrey Robertson
LH : Phillip Adams CH: Christopher Hitchens RH : Kathy Lette
LB: Lee Rhiannon LCB: Jonathon Holmes RCB: Geraldine Doogue RB: Bob Brown

GC: Michael Moore.

A bit too Australian but I don’t know many overseas libtards. Oh, Noam Chomsky. He can be in reserve. Even though he’s a pretty maxxtreme libtard and should be on the field.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin, Like your team but with one reservation and thsat is
Lee Rhiannon. I realy think she is a bit flakey.
Maybe for some real “Aussie Flavour” Bon Katter ? At least he wouldnt score an “Own Goal ” !!

17 10 2011
martin

Bob Katter is more of a righty protectionist isn’t he? But sure he can play for being entertaining and passionate. Just keep him away from Bob Brown! Because you know, Bob is gay and I think Katter does not like gay people.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin, Bob is rightish protetionish but like the old socialist leftish Tom Uren from wayback; like him or hate him you can always believe that whatever he is saying is what he means and that realy is something strange for a polly.

17 10 2011
martin

I like him. He’s making an assault on the QLD parliament with his new party.

17 10 2011
martin

Good thing the senate is owned by the Greens hey James. If Abbott gets in next time which is looking likely.

He won’t be able to pass his “make the poor half as rich and run over their children in 4WDs and make the rich twice as rich” legislation.

Abbott: the yogan’s poster boy and cult of personality figure.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Maybe time to organise a close Bridge St Protest.
Dick Smith can challenge Hardly Normal and Solomon Slew to publically compare tax returns ?

17 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Some pockets of righties have a bit of a soft spot for Assange… what with that libertarian-type “holding the government to account” trip he’s on…

I’d chuck John Pilger in there… along with the always controversial corpse of Howard Zinn… the always lovely Naomi Klein… my man, the always fabulous Gore Vidal… David “the man with a haircut you can set your watch to” Marr… and perhaps Kerry O’Brien as a tagger, the role usually assigned to his hard-workin’, bluey-collar nephew, Cam Ling.

That’s an imposing midfield right there.

For an All-American team, simply pick anyone and everyone who’s gone toe-to-toe with culture war enthusiast and Fox News anchorman Bill O’Reilly.

16 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

If #248 isn’t a worthy pairing with #124 I will be pissed.

16 10 2011
Vviv2

I’m sure TBL are shaking in their individual boots Ash…. They won’t want to be glassed! :-)xx

17 10 2011
kingbuzz0

I’m posting from my WordPress account as I get the schooners a-ready.

18 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Honey Bucket is a rad song, King Buzzo.

Really enjoyed the show y’all did with Primus a few months ago. Keep up the good work, old man… and never cut yer hair.

20 10 2011
Danny

Saw these guys at The Corner Hotel in Richmond about 14 years ago (?) Loudest f*cking band I ever did see. I’m re-posting this vid on my book of faces page. Thanks heaps 2S2S.

16 10 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
Maybe in YOUR dreams !!!!

17 10 2011
Chris

Ya know, Thor from Nurse Jackie is quite the “Fantasy Football” wiz.

17 10 2011
Chris

“Some pockets of righties have a bit of a soft spot for Assange… what with that libertarian-type “holding the government to account” trip he’s on”

Re that trip: I’ve always found the conservative claims about being anti-establishment lovers of freedom and liberty a little confusing, because the American variety seems to adhere to stifling religious values and buttoned down social orthodoxy. Where’s the personal freedom and individuality in that?

18 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Yeah, a corner of the Tea Party movement is actually purty embarrassed at the Bible-bashing and ill-informed founding father revisionism of the likes of Palin, Bachmann (are they the same person?) and the Fox News farkwicz. I’m talkin’ ’bout the capitalist libertarian hardliners whose main aims are to cut taxes, slash corporate regulation, abolish the Fed, bring back the gold standard, kill Keynesianism and, well, lynch Ben Bernanke…

Not all that well-versed in this whole bidness, to be honest. Just worked for people of that ilk for a time. Lovely folks, fiercely intelligent, but, amongst other things, they had a real gripe with the institutional, state-sponsored, violent theft of wealth from the individual; known to most non-drama queens as “paying taxes”…

But having said that, some guy from our US parent company wrote a painstakingly researched thesis on the why Bible – far from preaching socialist values, as the hippies would have us believe – is actually a text that espouses the values of good old-fashioned free-market fundamentalism. Some whacked-out shit but he showed his work.

Turns out that passage from Genesis was a typo from the big man upstairs… It should’ve read “And on the seventh day he invested”. Who’da thunk it?

Seems you can’t have a grassroots far-right movement without a bit o’ god-bothering on the side. How else wouldja get the plebs on board? You know, the Real, God-fearin’ folk who know a thing or two about Real Life, thankya very much.

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

See Jeebus makes it all right, anything really. So if you just blame/invoke/authorise via/etc the lumpen masses have a reason to conform to you, jeebus says it’s alright.

Worked for Jimmy Baker and Tammy Faye!

18 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Don’t forget Swaggart. He found his path to Jeebus through the divine company of follower-funded prostitutes. It’s done no such thing fer me. But I’ll keep at it in the hope of finding that special holy hooker mit a heart of gold, myrrh and frankenbok. Julia Roberts, I’m looking in your direction.

How about that other apocalyptic, nigh-on fossilised clown who’s made a purty handy living swindling dickbrains outta their life savings toime an’ toime again? The guy who’s been in the paper in recent months. Farken, really old carnt. Saying the world would end in 1989… then saying it would end April 2011… then October 2011… think this Friday, of all days. So be sure t’party hard. Except you poor farken hillbillies who gave him all yer cash. If it don’t happen then, I’ll buy yous a consolation beer. Better luck next time, Cletus. You’ve been fliggidy-fleeced.

High-larious if the silly old prick dies Friday. Of being old. Really, really, bloody old.

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

And the new high priest of show me the money – Benny Himm.

18 10 2011
James Hunter

2s2s,
The Caflicks got it sorted; just do whatever shit you like 6days a week and get forgiven at con-fession every sunday so long as you cough with enough readies your sweet. what a racket
no wonder all the Mafia hoods used to go to church so regular. made up for anything.

18 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Bloody oath they’ve got it sorted JH,

The Vatican. What an upstanding beacon of morality those silly old farken kiddie-fiddlin’ celibates are. Not to mention the Aussies over there treating Mary MacKillop’s whatchimacallit as a sport, what with the green and gold and the “Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi”. Just coz the Vaticarnt’s lost its dignity, let’s us not do it too…

In any case, go Celtic over those bloody Proddy Rangers. Vidooks!

And I await with bated breath the saintification of T Abbott. He might have to die first though, so who’ll do the honours? JH, both you and I know you wanna.

And could you polish off Nick Riewoldt and Stephen Milne while yer at it? Sinful Sainters.

18 10 2011
James Hunter

2s2s,
Iv said it before just need an excuse to get the .243 with the 6X scope out ofr a bit of Feral hunting. Reckon this would count as equivalen to ferals ? Like hunting “SillyGoats” i the Flinders Ranges For “Big Fat Pigs”(not the copperfs who would all be on our team) I would prefer the .410 bolt action shotty with Winchester magnum solids. They will drill holes right through engine blocks so they might be all right for Pope Moboiles and other light armour.
When we finish with them we can start on The Young Liberals, Perfect examples that money and education do not produce either socially responsible persons nor induce in them an inclination to original thought or a responsible work ethic.

18 10 2011
Vviv2

Hoping this one works James….
Surely ONE of them should….>_<

[IMG]http://i545.photobucket.com/albums/hh386/gettadogupya/atheists.jpg[/IMG]

http://i545.photobucket.com/albums/hh386/gettadogupya/atheists.jpg

http://s545.photobucket.com/albums/hh386/gettadogupya/?action=view&current=atheists.jpg

19 10 2011
James Hunter

Vviv2
That is superbe a real epicurean comment.
I am in process of sending it to every god botherer that i know and a few more i suspect !

17 10 2011
What the

Another one: calling their boyfriends/ girlfriends during the gig and turning on speaker phone for their boyfriend/ girlfriend to hear

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

#27465 – Cars that Park Themselves

Have ya noticed this? Ford Focus Tittanium (is that betterer than Platinum), Golf, Falcadores will be following in about 5 years. I reckon anyone who can’t reverse park should have to hand back their licence. That’s not very libtard though

So set up a subcommittee to look into John Butler writing a song to go with an extensive carbon neutral advertising campaign, conceived, written and filmed by 120 kg lesbians dressed in orange tyedye smelling of lavander who drive tofu powered Kombi’s. Bob Brown and Julia approve.

17 10 2011
Pandabater

#27466 Schoolgirl fights.

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Scrag fight – The bogan hopes a boob will pop out and then the lesbian tendencies will kick in. Bit like the movie Wild Things.

17 10 2011
Chris

“Schoolgirl fights”

And then uploading them on to youtube.

17 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Guilty.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Simon you know if the boys say (to toughen up) “Go Grow some Balls” They got it all wrong. According to a lady(“Im a real lady”) of my acquaintance they should grow a vagina if they want to be realy tough. Reason being is that balls are small and very sensative wheras a vagina will take a real pounding.

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Dude, not touching that one.

Gedit.

17 10 2011
Pandabater

It’s one of the benefits of living near a Senior College (known locally as Deadbeat High) It’s obvious that charm is a compulsory course.

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

If they also include – Masticating Chewing Gum with ya mouth open…

Well then they are all set for a career at JB Hi Fi!

17 10 2011
Pandabater

They roll off the bus in a conga line of music video fashion victims, only fatter & stupider.

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

You don’t also have a Westfield nearby do you Panda? Then they have somewhere to hang out when they get knocked up by their boyfriends best mate.

17 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

TBL makes me feel like a horrible human being sometimes.

17 10 2011
Pandabater

There are two actually,

I’m kn at Wezfiels
they scream into their mobiles.
Dya fckn need smokes?

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Livin the dream Panda, livin the dream.

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Addendum- I mean the bogans.

99.9% certain Westfield does not feature in Panda dreaming.

17 10 2011
Vviv2

Sometimes a few words are worth more than a picture…..

[IMG]http://i545.photobucket.com/albums/hh386/gettadogupya/305325_227741980620056_221185627942358_626896_410368085_n.jpg[/IMG]

17 10 2011
p'bee

that’s actually a betty white quote.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Peebee, You are correct , I realy could not recall so made the mistake of dressing it up. In my defence it is younks since I heard it so probably didnt even get it verbatim. Sounds like a good line to use to agravate some young lad with an attitude problem.. Just after I blow my car horn for 30 seconds at the traffic lights when im parked beside their matt black Nissan Silvia with 200mm megaphone exhaust and stereo with quintillion watt subs that are taking the paint of surrounding vehicles.

17 10 2011
Mick

Now the confusions sets in. Someone close to me has an audition for Masterchef. This would be the most un-bogan person in the world.

Is being on Masterchef bogan or is it only bogan to watch it? Or is it bogan to watch it and only be interested in healthy food and cooking for 60 minutes a week? I don’t know. If I watch it do I slide back down that slope to clinical boganity?

This is one of those existential bogangst moments.

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Ok Mick here goes.

It’s ok to watch
Not ok to stay home so you can watch at the exclusion of all else
Ok to enjoy certain contestants
No ok to discuss their supposed sex life at work
A friend can be a contestant and still be cool
Unless they sell their soul to New idea or strip for Ralph

Get the idea? Any other thoughts?

17 10 2011
Mick

Roger. It seems a fine edge.

My worry is the boganic ambience that Channel Ten will so thoughtfully provide. Is the disease spread from person to person by celebrity ebola monkeys?

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Mick,
celebrities are worse then monkeys.
Monkeys spread Ebola
Celebreties spread Ennui

17 10 2011
Mick

JH, scientists were able to cure ebola in monkeys.

They’ll never be able to cure a bad case of Richard Wilkins.

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

A fine line indeed. If you buy Masterchef branded cookware you are doomed.

Did you finish that Carton of Brownhill or save some for Chubby and I?

17 10 2011
Mick

Umm…I bought five dozen actually. That may seem extreme to those whp have never tried it. Made lots of good gifts for people and left me in everybody’s good books for a while.

Still eleven bottles left. It’s surpringly good to drink poolside after a good workout. Even without the workout. Grab Chubby and the little ladies and come around whenever you want…probably be able to rustle up a masterchef type feed as well.

17 10 2011
Vviv2

Mick, never a truer word was spoken!

17 10 2011
martin

I think foodies are pretty bogan, somehow they make it bogan even though being a chef is actually honest work. You can’t make a dish and get capital gains from it in 6 months.

I think it’s basically a sideshow to #85.

17 10 2011
Mick

A sideshow to #85. Never thought of that. I think you’re onto something.

Everyone you talk to these days is putting in the chef’s kitchen. If you don’t have granite you’re nobody. It’s an industry within #85.

Next step will be MasterBath. Over the top ensuites next. Granite toilet seats.

17 10 2011
martin

Yeah it’s all about being a smug home “owner” and fortifying yourself and your family. F#ck society. I see alfresco dining as the same. A bunch of smug c#nts marking their territory in their crocs and fancy sunnies.

I’m always looking at recipes. But they’ve always got f#cken garlic in them or they’ve got some weird ingredients in them that when you add them all up cost as much as just getting takeaway.

Mick, next stop is the crash I hope and these tossers can go back under the rock they came from and if you want good money you’ll have to have old fashioned skill.

17 10 2011
urbanreverie

Martin, you’re not thinking like most people!

Nobody, repeat, NOBODY realises a capital gain in just six months.

You have to hold onto it for twelve months. Then you get the 50% capital gains tax concession.

So if I make a 20% capital gain in eleven months, or a 40% capital gain in thirteen months – I pay the same amount of tax. Even though I’ve made twice as much money.

17 10 2011
martin

Yay for the lying rodent John Howard!

Most of the property investment is in existing houses and not new ones. I wish Joolia would show some more balls and do what Henry Review says to do.

17 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Oh she’s got balls Martin, no doubt on that.

And f*ck you, I’ve got laminate benchtops, that prbly means my food tastes 50% less maxtreme, and yes I am a good cook.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
I am mortified
I have laminate bench tops but they are in a granite pattern ! But we are good cooks

17 10 2011
martin

She does doesn’t she. All the crap she’s endured for the carbon tax warrants massive kudos alone whether or not one agrees with it.

I’ve got granite benchtops and I only have 2 dishes which are generally popular.

A bogan BBQ and some boring chicken with oyster sauce.

I’m not culinary happy.

But I’ve been thinking of giving up and living on rice. It works for the Chinese. They love it. Good for the waist line too.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin , Just for you I will write up one recipie every week.
Chicken and Tarragon caserol:
Four Chicken Thigh Fillets cut into about 20/25mm cubes
Two medium carrotts diced about 6mm cubed
Four Medium Mushrooms thin slice then dice fineish
One rounded desert spoon of chicken stock powder(Aldi or Continental are best
One cup of frozen peas
One level desert spoon dried Tarrogon
One level teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
One Jar of Pasta sauce (Aldi chunky vegatable is good)plus about 1/4 cup water to rinse the jar.
300ml thickend cream
two table spoos cooking oil (to transport the fat soluable flavours)
All into large pot high heat and just about continual stiring and folding untill boiling.
Transfer to slowest simmer on smallest burner for about 20 minutes.
Prepare the (Typically ) Pasta, I like Spiralie because it holds the sauce.
500gms pasta Large boiler, 3to 4 litrs Boiling Salted water,realy vigerous boiling too ,four to six depending . add the pasta and immediately stir to stop it sticking to itself. stir occasionally untill it comes back to the boil (Big Burner) then leave boiling vigerously for about 12 min. Test towards the end you dont want it soggy all through. Drain in a large collander under running hot water (as hot as your tap will go) rinse thouroughly to remove all the loose starch as that will make it stick together.
Place the drained pasta still in the collander back over the boiler, gas off and the lid on the top to keep it warm.
Prepare 3 heaped desert spoons of Maize Corn Flour (Never the “Corn Flour” made from wheat. It produces a slightly slimey texture)
Place the corn flour in a mug with about 150 ml of cold milk combine with spoon then stir into the caserole with the heat basck on higjh for a minute or two untill it is thickened and evenly distributed.
Serve with the Pasta.
Its Simple Quick Very tasty and serves

Next week you can have Pork and Veal pasta bolonaise or Pasta Carbonara ultra creamy version or something french like Chicken breast stuffed with spinach wraped parcels of swiss cheese and tarragon, Or an English Stuffed Leg of Lamb. Stuffed with bacon, Kidneys, Nutmed and glazed with apricot and mustard ?
Your call.

17 10 2011
James Hunter

Bugger I for got the can of drained Canelli beans. or chick peas, very important.
Sorry

17 10 2011
martin

Aw thanks man. Wtf is tarragon. Nevermind I’ll work it out.

How about something light? I still fancy eating like an impoverished Asian. I’m feeling very stuffed at the moment. I just had a meat lovers pizza like a big bogan. It was f#cken awesome but now I feel like a pig. Usually I get supreme but their supreme has been shit lately.

18 10 2011
James Hunter

Hi Martin,
Tarrragon, Just a dried herb,get a little Masterfoodsr MacKenzies bottle about 30mm diameter and 75/80mm tall, last for ages.

A relatively light chicken snack / meat component of main meal is the good lod ckicken thigh fillets which when you unroll them you will have a thick end, cut it into two strips, then the middle thin section one or two and the other end again two or three as it is a bit thicker as well.
Place all asside then in a large mixing bowl add1/3 cup of tomatoe sauce, 1/4 cup of sweet soy sauce, one 1/3 cup of regular soy sauce, 1/4 cup of oyster sauce,two rounded table spoons of sugar,,1/4 cup of good cooking oil( Penut or rice bran oils are the best),1 rounded teaspoon of minced ginger, one heaped teaspoon of minced garlic, one heaped teaspoon of minced chillie,( Masterfoods or continental do great minced chillie,realy full on flavour but not to hot, the ginger and the garlic minced any generic will be ok), then one rounded teaspoon of Chinese Five spice. ( Again a little bottle of MacKormack or Master foods will be best)

Then just mix all the ingreadiants into a nice marinade sauce and add the chicken and stir it thouroughly through.and for to keep the smell down cover with cling wrap.
When ready to cook in between five minutes and overnight preeheat fan forced oven to about 225 degrees C and place the chicken with the skin side down on to a wire rack which you stsnd on a baking tray. You will need two trays for that amount of chicken and dont have them touching each other.The hot air needs to circulate.
Stick in oven and after 20 min rotyate the racks top shelf to bottom and fron to back then give another 15 min approx. Just keep an eye on it so as not to incinerate it but you want it cooked through and nicely blackened round the edges.
Serve either on its own or with say rice with peas,butter and chives and parsley stired through to make a full meal. Aslo keeps well under cling wrap and is nice cold.

So is that light enough of do you awant a killer tuna and balsamic vinegar ,and black pepper sandwich or a killer diced cold ckicken with mayo,fresh cream chives and parsley sandwich?

18 10 2011
martin

You got a rice and beans recipe? I been meaning to try that.

I want some good libtard recipes that are as cheap as shit.

18 10 2011
James Hunter

How about the “Special Fried Rice”
You can eat as a main or serve as a side ?.
Also that chicken caserole you can do that with no chicken but about one to one and a half cupps of dried lima beans ( cooked first and that is the dry volume not the cooked)
How many servings do you cook for ? Most of mine are for two to four but are all scaleable.

18 10 2011
martin

It’s for three. Nah, fried rice is not healthy enough.

Thanks anyway but nevermind. All your recipes have got a tonne of ingredients in them. I guess it’s unavoidable for anything interesting.

18 10 2011
p'bee

baked chicken is the easiest thing in the world. chicken, baking dish, whatever stuff you have for flavour – garlic, lemon, tomatos, spices, mustard, anything – score the chicken a few times, put your flavouring of choice on the chicken/in the scored bits, put it in the oven at about 220 for around 25 minutes and you’re done. you can even put veggies in the same dish to bake at the same time. ultimate easy and lazy meal. you’re andyou’reyou’re done.

17 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

My mum has laminate benchtops. Nothing maxxtreme about them.

And I have an announcement to make.

For the first time since I was seven years old, from this December yr Ash will no longer be a Shire bogan. I’m leaving the fatherland and moving to enemy territory with all them wogs n shit.

17 10 2011
martin

Lakemba? I reckon you’d make a good Muslim Ash. You’re already good at objectifying women. Not judgying or anything, I objectify them too. I think they’re much more fun as objects.

17 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Nah, Brighton. I’d get bashed at Lakemba.

And I’d make a horrible Muslim. I drink, I do drugs, I continually take every deity’s name in vain, I don’t like authority, I’m not giving any bearded cleric farkwit 10% of my nearly non-existent income and the thought of praying five times a day shits me.

17 10 2011
martin

Allah is a c#nt. I’d glass him and his followers any day.

17 10 2011
martin

Fatwah on me! F#ck you towel heads!

17 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Me too. And I’d glass Buddha as well. F*ckin fat c*nt. Maybe Vishnu – not Shiva though. That carnt would destroy me.

17 10 2011
martin

I’d glass Jesus for his poofy beard. Have a shave ya dickhead. If he was so good he could have invented clippers.

17 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I’d want to glass Confucius, but would probably end up glassing some other carnt.

“If you can not glass carnt you want, want to glass carnt you can.”

I’m good at this philosophical shit.

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

You two are going to hell in a handbag.

18 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts According To Market Fluctuations.

I’m well aware I’m going to hell. At least it’ll be warm and I’ll know people there.

18 10 2011
p'bee

so are you going to join in the drag races in the car parks and along the grand parade?

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I think Ash sold his chevadore. He can be the nun nuf in the passengers side that does the wigga’s hand gesture to the doof doof.

18 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts According To Market Fluctuations.

Simon ya carnt. I can’t do wigga hand gestures since I’m not white.

And while I did sell the Commodore, I have something else maxxtreme along the way.

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

That’s farkin racialism Ash. Just coz your a curry coconut ya too good to do hand gestures proper like.

I’m gunna talk to Bolt, he’ll fix ya.

18 10 2011
martin

Ash will go to hell just for all the #124 he’s done.

18 10 2011
martin

One of those latino lowriders Ash? The ones with the hydraulics that go up and down?

You could use it for #124.

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

He has prbly bought a fully sik, lowered Kia with dustbin exhaust and fluffy dice.

And Martin, I don’t think Ash can go to hell for theoretical #124, he needs to find a participant first.

How do you like them apples Ash?

18 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

*glasses Simon* How’d ya like them apples, carnt?

Martin, tell me where to get one of them lowriders.

18 10 2011
martin

Dunno man.

Maybe you could go for a wog classic, an early 80s gemini.

http://www.carsales.com.au/all-cars/private/details.aspx?seot=1&R=11216896&silo=-1&__Ns=pCar_RankSort_Int32|1||pCar_Price_Decimal|1||pCar_Make_String|0||pCar_Model_String|0&Cr=&trecs=30&__N=1216%201247%201252%201282%204294965857%204294965756

18 10 2011
martin

Or even better, a gemini panel van so you can have #124 in the back:

http://www.carsales.com.au/all-cars/private/details.aspx?Cr=4&R=11118315&keywords=&trecs=30&__sid=130477AE8F25&__Ns=pCar_RankSort_Int32|1||pCar_PriceSort_Decimal|1||pCar_Make_String|0||pCar_Model_String|0&__Qpb=1&tsrc=allcarhome&__Nne=15&seot=1&__N=1216%201246%201247%201252%201282%204294965857%204294965756&silo=1011

Aw man I want one.

18 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin,
The classic wog car used to be a purple valiant with white pompoms round the rear window and a pair of minature socker boots or fluffy dice hanging of the rear view mirror.

18 10 2011
martin

If I could have one of those old muscle cars I’d blow my load all over it. Beats the hell out of the tacky, tinny shitboxes these days.

I had an old wog mate at uni who was a bouncer/bar tender, took roids, and drove a gemini, and lived in tempe near Ash’s new digs, such a wog. God bless him he was a good bloke.

19 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness
17 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin, she dosent need balls shes already got a vagina !!!!

17 10 2011
martin

I reckon that red hair does something to the brain. Gives them courage.

17 10 2011
urbanreverie

OK guys, for the first time ever, I proudly present to you genuine, real-life, ridgey-didge photographs of some of the most loved characters from …

THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!

You can check them out here:

http://t.co/oi9prJHv
http://t.co/PTob9T8r
http://t.co/UsZzXtGQ
http://t.co/8E7omtQX

And let me know which other characters you want to see :)

17 10 2011
Vviv2

I’m amazed Urban….They’re so lifelike! ^_^

18 10 2011
p'bee

shevonne’s three chins in a row across her jawline are an interesting look.

17 10 2011
Vviv2

Bouge was better looking than I expected….Do you have any of the rug rats?

17 10 2011
Vviv2

Bogue even….

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

That’s brilliant Urban,

I bet Martin wants to do Shevonne now he has seen her in the flesh so to speak.

18 10 2011
martin

I’m a cat person so maybe I would. I like dogs too but they stink and they poo on the lawn.

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Cats are likely to poo on your bed if they feel like it. I prefer the lawn.

18 10 2011
martin

Well each to their own, I dry wretch whilst picking up poo. I bet you inhale and you love it.

18 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I smoke that sh8t.

Harden up Martin, ya soft bogan.

18 10 2011
James Hunter

Cats realy like to poo in the Vegie patch. usually next to the carrotts .
Mrs Hanibal had a cat onec and it went decidedly even more screwball then most cats and started crapping in the bath !
Thats about the time there was a report from the launch controll centre at Woomera that the chinese had launched a cat into space. !!!
Probably sounded like a Libyan jet fighter going by. Meeeeeeooooooooooww just before it crashed and burned in a pile of old Plutonium in the Simpson desert.

18 10 2011
Chris

18 10 2011
martin

Swift & Shift is pretty good as well. I see Ian Turpey around every now and then, he’s skinny as because of cancer, hope he makes it through.

18 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts According To Market Fluctuations.

I’ve never been sure if Pauly Fenech is bogan.

18 10 2011
James Hunter

Ash I have worked on Paulies shows f times ,so im no expert but he is no Bogan. He is an excellent character actor though.

18 10 2011
p'bee

i think he’s a self aware bogan. which may be a contradiction in terms.

18 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Ahem, p’bee…if being a self-aware bogan is a contradiction, then what am I?

We’re a rare species fo’ sho’.

18 10 2011
p'bee

you’re a special and unique snowflake, ash.

18 10 2011
Vviv2

Housos looks awesome….the trailers on youtube crack me up….

18 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/music-news/8831066/Stone-Roses-reunion-Its-happening.html While youse carnts go on about shit music, I’m gonna go listen to What The World Is Waiting For and figure out where I’m getting the money if they play a reunion gig at Spike Island.

24 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

http://www.cracked.com/funny-4573-hipster/

You’ll be needing this Ash.

19 10 2011
Chris

Smoking whilst pregnant.

31 10 2011
Paul

I’m a socialist, hipster, art loving, gay rights activist, and I take photos at music events. This is clutching at straws, I think the first guy to post a response to this article lost all credibility when he said he went to Chris Cornell’s free gig.

20 11 2011
Alanna

A few years ago I was at soundwave to see Nine Inch Nails. Several thousand people in the mosh pit, all going hard. Guy in front of me turns around threatening to punch me for singing along coz it was spoiling the video his girlfriend was taking on her phone to go on YouTube. Turns out its not enough to show your friends how much you love music, true validation comes from total strangers giving your shitty, blurry, unsteady, incomprehensible video a thumbs up.

29 12 2011
Why Can't I Get A Job

I don’t think I’ll ever understand bogans, or what boganism actually means.

21 03 2012
Xander

I host two radio shows that play underground music (as wanky and pretentiousas that sounds) if I appreciate the music I am hearing at a gig and it’s an artist I like and wanted to see then why does taking photos make me a bogan? You people draw a long bow sometimes.

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