#246 – Tax Refunds

29 09 2011

It has happened since the dawn of time. In 1854. Taxation issues caused ancestral bogans to attack police in an unsuccessful revolt on the Victorian goldfields. The tax paid on discovered gold was deemed by the miners to be excessive, and they wanted it back. They wanted a tax refund. They did not get a tax refund. The subsequent 16 decades have, in a large part, been dedicated to the bogan getting square.

In modern Australia, income tax is deducted from a worker’s salary at a rate that, all other things being equal, should result in the person neither underpaying or overpaying tax throughout the year. This system entitles the bogan to bark about the perpetual and limitless misuse of its taxpayer dollars. This very nearly makes sense, so it is not meaningful to the bogan.

While British colonists in North America 350 years ago lobbied for political change (and led to the American Revolution) with the slogan “no taxation without representation”, the bogan, being the ambitious parasite it is, has higher aims. While the bogan will reluctantly have tax deducted from its monthly salary, it agrees solely on the condition that all of this money, and more, is returned to it at the end of the financial year. Also, it wants infinitely maxtreme levels of political clout at all times. “No taxation, yes representation”.

A recent survey reported that 89% of people expected to receive a tax refund from the 2010-11 financial year. From this, we can deduce that at least 11% of Australians are not bogans. The remainder comprises people who genuinely warrant refunds, people who have successfully defrauded a pathway to a refund, and a large horde of bogans who are smirking on borrowed time. In the weeks and months after June 30, Australia’s towns and cities rattle from the shrill cry of bogans opening their ATO envelopes. Birds flap from their perches on sandstone cathedrals. “Where’s the refuuuuund?!?”, complaineth the bogan, upon receiving a cheque for a mere $400 to offset unspecified and highly dubious expenses. The bogan knows that it paid thousands in tax over the year, and continues to ponder this injustice as it drives down the smooth, four lane road to chemist. A script for PBS-subsidised Ritalin is collected for little Thailaar, who is on her third warning at a private school mostly funded by the government.

An angry phone call to the creative accountant later that day involves a slew of incompatible accusations about the accountant’s level of ability, coupled with a demand that the tax return be filed again, getting it “right this time”. Because the bogan is acutely aware of its Bill of Rights, it therefore knows what is right, and that it has a right not to pay bills. Conceding that bogans (particularly those in marginal electorates) are indeed right, parties on both sides of the political fence are profoundly reluctant to reduce any tax deductibility loopholes frequently used by bogans. Furthermore, new ways to offset income tax miraculously appear near election time, confirming that, Eureka! – the bogan is right.


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201 responses

29 09 2011
RobertL

Got my tax bill yesterday…

20 07 2012
josh

obviously you’re not a bogan then….

29 09 2011
SheikYerbouti

TBL, you have missed an important point.
The bogan does not know the phrase “tax refund,” only the phrase “tax return.”
Apparently, because the government is returning money to you (that you rightfully own, why the bastards took it off you in the first place, who knows, etc) the refund you get is your tax return. “How much am I getting in my tax return?” they wonder.
I have no idea what bogans call the tax return that is submitted to the ATO. Probably “it’s my tax.” Which means I don’t know what they call the money that they have paid to the government. It goes round in circles.

29 09 2011
RobertL

Actually, Sheik, I reckon that bogans are more likely to refer to their tax refund as a “tax rebate”. Which is an entirely different thing.

20 07 2012
josh

is it really? wow we’re learning alot from you aren’t we Robert!

20 07 2012
James Hunter

Josh,
Than that means you are Not Greek, Not Italian, OR yOU ARE Wealthy.
None of those three groups Pays Tax.
! !

29 09 2011
martin

I thought most bogans were tax neutral. They get family tax benefit A and B for Aidan, Kaiden and Jayden.

Except maybe the ones making $150k+ in the moines. But I dare say most of those have skill and aren’t bogans. The bogans would be on $100-$149k.

Bogans want those on $150k+ to pay 90% tax, that’s the line drawn in the sand which seperates “the salt of the erf”, “the rool people” and the “rich wankers”. The fact that someone on $150k might be some doctor which has spent a fortune on university for 10 years whilst living in poverty is no concern for the bogan. In the bogan’s mind if you’re on $150k+ you actually have less skill and do less work than those below.

29 09 2011
shakPower

Haha yep, u’v hit the nail on the head there my friend

29 09 2011
urbanreverie

Hey Martin,

Need a bit of advice … could you please help me to identify what a “nogan” is? I think I may have encountered three rather unpleasant ones the other night … I’m just having trouble visualising exactly what you mean by a “nogan” though (and for the unitiated, a “nogan” is a hybrid species of “nerd” x “bogan” which has been identified by Martin).

Many thanks!

29 09 2011
martin

Arrogant, undersexed, bitter, cowardly, bitchy, intelligent iq wise, but usually ignorant and uninterested in how the world really works and what is really going on, usually just a MSM lemming. A nerd who is mean and selfish. A bit like the comic book guy from The Simpsons, but I reckon he’d have a good understanding of global affairs.

So what happened Urban?

29 09 2011
urbanreverie

OK Martin, I’ll try and keep this story short. (Hahaha, famous last words.)

I’m doing this assignment at uni, in groups of three. There’s me, a good mate of mine, and this girl I don’t know who’s one of my friend’s classmates. For this assignment we have to come up with a business idea, and write a business plan for our start-up to use as a pitch to a hypothetical lender to persuade them to back us with some hypothetical capital.

Anyway, early on she suggested that we use a business belonging to her boyfriend and two partners as a model for our assignment. Her boyfriend & partners are in their final year doing a “degree” of Bachelor of Integrated Multimedia Creative Graphic Design Information Applications or some such bullshit and they’ve started up a company (registered office: one of their bedrooms) doing graphic design, web design and digital film editing. My mate and I thought at that time, “Sure, a good idea, that way we can ask these entrepreneurs for guidance and for their insights.” So, my friend and I assented.

Anyway, we’ve been working on this assignment all semester, and the other night we meet up with the three directors at a pub in the inner city to ask them about their business.

O. M. G. What a bunch of douches! There’s the guy in a black jacket that’s two sizes too small with a popped collar and huge silver buttons. There’s the guy with an Allen Ginsberg beard and narrow slitty glasses with outrageously thick rims. And then there’s the Lawrence Leung wannabe.

There’s the smug self-confidence, the belief – no, the KNOWLEDGE – that they are just one business deal away from becoming a millionaire. There’s the needless boasting … “Yah, yah, we just came from from a business trip to MELLLLLbourne, yah, where we did this ace film shoot, yah …” There’s the “look at me, I’m so cool, I’m only 22 and I already own a company and have a full-colour business card” pretensiousness. There’s the way they try and dazzle you with IT acronym after IT acronym (“Yah, and we’ve just installed a 7TB hyper-STD mega-Flash VD-RAM hyper-server with PHP automated stack dumping onto our solid-state VGA …”) when they know full well that you have little IT knowledge, just so they can let you know that you’re a dumbass and they’re so cool.

Anyway, I was asking them a lot of questions, and making suggestions about how our business plan for the assignment could be improved and how our business could be more profitable over the span of our three-year plan. But no, the girl kept saying “No no no, it has to be EXACTLY like what the company is doing!” Right down to the business name. I asked why. “Because … but … umm .. because it’s … it’s just EASIER that way!”

And then the penny dropped. My mate and I have been conned into writing a business plan, for free, so the girl’s boyfriend’s company can save two grand or so on having to pay an accountant or a financial adviser to write one. Now they’ll be able to go to a lender, and say “Look, we’ve done our sums, we’ve set a strategic direction for our business, we’ve got some equity of our own to use as collateral (probably get their parents to go guarantor), so lend us some dough.”

And I am ropeable. I’m not sure if the penny has dropped for my mate yet – he’s got even less business nous than me – but it certainly dropped for me. And now I’m trying to think of a way to completely F#$K THEM OVER without putting my high grade point average in jeopardy.

Anyway, I just wanted to know if you’d class these people as “nogans”, Maritn. These people aren’t bogans in the usual sense – they know how to pronounce the word “nothing”, they do actually have an education (if you can call a Bachelor of Information Creative Applied Design Multimedia Practice at a second-string university an “education”). But they aren’t true hipsters – strip away their pretensions and they’re just a bunch of suburbanites still living with their middle-class parents out in brick-veneer territory. They’re not yuppies – they’re not successful or flashy enough yet … perhaps embryonic yuppies? They certainly have the requisite lack of empathy – if they’d gladly use two strangers for free labour without their foreknowledge with the connivance of one of the director’s girlfriends, that makes them A-grade arseholes in my view.

So Martin – nogans or not nogans?

F#$k it. I’m so angry, I’m going to write the latest episode of The Bogue & Boguette Show a night early, just to take my mind off it.

29 09 2011
martin

They’re not my idea of nogans. They sound like A grade wankers who deserve to meet some A grade glassing bogans in a dark alley. I know what you mean guys with popped collars really irritate me too. When nerds try and be hipsters the results are often pretty grotesque imo.

Is their business unique or is it just to make web sites? Because if it’s unique you should spread the idea as far and wide as possible so someone else might use it and try and f#ck them up that way.

Oh and PHP is a pussy’s language. So I can’t see what they’re doing being terribly complicated. Although facebook uses PHP facebook is pretty simple really.

30 09 2011
Mick

I’m with martin. Don’t glass them, glass their idea.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Vote 3 for screwing their “business”. W#nkers, especially Captain Popped collar.

What do we do about the chick? I would be unable to work with her Urban, after that.

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I’m with the three musketeers on this one.

Although, Urban, you know any time you want those carnts glassed my services are available to you for a low, low, one-off price with NOINTERESTNODEPOSITNOREPAYMENTSFOR12MONTHS!!

30 09 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
Throw in a set of steak knives and I’m yours.

30 09 2011
Mick

Candidate #17 is a health care professional. She works long hours and studies in her spare time. I have just watched her lock herself away from the world for two months while cramming for exams…between working 12 hour shifts. She has a lot more of this ahead of her.

Bogan workmates think it is funny that she earns less than me. They boast that they do better than professionals. I point out that in a few years time she will be doing considerably better than any of them. This is where they get nasty. They make comments about professionals being overpaid! I kid you not. Pot calling kettle. Sad part is, they actually believe it. Martin is bang on the money.

29 09 2011
MissM

Who doesn’t want a tax return??? Are there people out there who want a bill instead? What angers me is paying tax for bogan parents & stay at home dads, etc. If you cannot afford to breed, don’t do it! I don’t want to pay for your ubiquitious spawn.

29 09 2011
James Hunter

This article does a lot to reinforce a belief I have held for a long time; that the rich and the rich who own and manage big business are Bogans with a capital (sic ) “B”

Whatever tax they are supposed to pay is minumised by teams of euphemistically called “tax accountanta” and “tax lawyers”. People whose sole aim is to ensue the the bosses pay no tax and that they recieve sqeggamillions of taxpayers money as Government “industry assistance” This assistance is disguised as Industry rationalisation funds, Development funds for “Name your favourite; green, local, marginal electorate winge”
The net result is that these mongerals pay less to start with and get more thrown at them then even the regular easily identifiable bogan.
Makes Em Bogan Kings .I reckon.

29 09 2011
urbanreverie

Excellent work pointing out the blatant hypocrisy of the bogan, TBL. Please please pretty please tell me that there’ll be more material on the bogan’s schizophrenic attitude towards taxation and government spending in the Boganomics book!

As I’ve said on here before – the bogan only wants to pay Hong Kong-style taxes but expects Norwegian-style social benefits (but only for average, decent, hard-workin’, honest Aussie battlers like themselves – anybody who falls outside the narrow bogan orthodoxy can go get f#$ked and starve out on the streets).

29 09 2011
James

I reject the idea of ‘loopholes’… Something is either a legal deduction, meaning you have every right to claim it, or it’s not. A bit like how there is no such thing as a ‘shortcut’, your either taking the right (quickest) way or your not.

You say that 11% don’t expect a refund, therefore are automatically ‘not bogans’. I’d argue that SOME of that 11% are just too deadshit stupid to get their maximum entitled refund.

Our system is set up so that virtually every single PAYG employee end up overpaying in tax each year. For example I earn salary plus bonus each month. If I make a very large bonus on month I get taxed at a higher bracket, if I don’t make a bonus the next I don’t. Even without deductions I would still be entitled to almost a $2000 refund each year. Truth is, the more you earn the more you are likely entitled to as deductions.

With ALMOST no exception, every PAYG employee should get a refund of some kind each year. If your not you are simply overpaying in tax.

I’m not sure if that makes me a new-school bogan (by your ever changing definition at least)…. still beats being a hipster any day of the week though.

29 09 2011
Titus

James, I think you are looking for http://www.afr.com

30 09 2011
moar caek

I’m not sure what your getting at.

30 09 2011
Dgusten

Here’s an exception for you James: I have $60,000 in a high interest savings account. I earn $3,000 or so in interest each year. No tax is taken out throughout the year in respect of that interest. So I get a tax bill.

I could choose to not claim the interest as part of my income. That would be a “loophole”, or more accurately, “illegal”.
I could claim deductions beyond the $300 you can claim without receipts. But without the receipts, that would be illegal too.

I’m sure I’m not the only person in this position.

(Also, a person who earns tips would (theoretically) claim them on their tax return and probably end up with a tax bill)

30 09 2011
Tim

Your terminology is a bit confusing. You don’t ‘claim’ income, you declare it. Your tax ‘bill’ is called an assessmane.

FYI, you can’t choose not to declare interest income from an account held in Australia – either you have reported your Tax File Number to the Financial Institution, in which case the ATO will assess you on the interest wether you include it in your tax return or not, or you haven’t supplied your TFN to the Financial Institution, in which case it is required to withhold 46.5% tax from all interest payments.

7 10 2011
Dgusten

Whatever – ordinarily, “declare” and “claim” are synonyms, even if I haven’t used the standard terminology for tax returns.

And “assessmane” [sic - assessment?] might be the title of the document that comes from the ATO, but the bottom bit of it look an awful lot like a phone or electricity bill, so I’m pretty happy calling it a “tax bill”.

The point is, you seem to understand what I’m saying.
Do you deny that James was wrong? He said:
“With ALMOST no exception, every PAYG employee should get a refund of some kind each year. If your not you are simply overpaying in tax”

I called bullsh!t on that – am I wrong?

1 10 2011
moar caek

can you spot me twenny bucks ’til wednesday Mate?

29 09 2011
bogans

I want my money back.

29 09 2011
shakPower

but…. but… doesnt IT realize thats where the centerlink money comes from?? Doesn’t it realize thats the reason IT has a medicare card!!

i have to ask a bogan where it think the Government gets its money from..

29 09 2011
urbanreverie

I once knew a bogan who suggested that the government should print more money to fund public services. I kid you not. I then tried talking to her about inflation, and how too much money chasing too few goods leads to prices rising, but she still didn’t comprehend. Sigh.

I sometimes wonder whether letting these people vote is such a good idea. But then again, what other system apart from western democracy at least tries to keep our leaders honest? It’s the worst system of government possible – except for all the others that have been tried.

30 09 2011
Mick

Is a 60% informed vote better than a 100% guess? I say yes.

Everyone is still gonna whinge anyhow.

30 09 2011
Davo

A bogan at work suggested the other day that next time the Aussie dollar goes above the US dollar he’s going to exchange AU$10000. So that when our dollar goes down again he’ll exchange it back and make a profit. “Farrken bril-yant, why doesnt everyone do it”.

20 07 2012
josh

do you think that perhaps she wasn’t educated on the topic to the extent that you were? what a fuckin’ idiot huh?

29 09 2011
common man

Lol,tbl has bogans with petty claims confused with Muslims.Recently while with my accountant down the golden mile, we had a obvious debacle with a lady trying to claim 50% back.He asked is there any reason or clause to warrant it?…No its just part of my religion she claimed,fuck our laws,and this wasn’t a sole incident as he explained and pointed across the road to a shari run bank.So in conclusion the bogue mini refunds compared to Muslims cash claims hardly warrants a post,Maybe one about dhimmitude would be more worthy as they dont want to obey our system and scream reverse racism tantrums to get it their way,which begs the question if you dont like our system or country,please go back and fix your own before trying to molest ours.

30 09 2011
moar caek

surely muslims will over run and ruin us
the way the chinese did 100 years ago
and the gyppoes wogs and jews did after the war
and the poms in the 60’s
and the viennamese in the 70’s
and TEH ILLEGAL BOAT TERRORIST BROWN REFUGEE HORDES
in fact muslims across the arab world are rioting and dying now for the right to be the first to come to australia and f#ck it all up for everyone with their opressive muslimness

30 09 2011
urbanreverie

And, ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand up and give a round of applause to the latest episode of …

THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!

And this week – Bogue & Boguette say goodbye forever to their old digs!

http://bogueandboguetteshow.wordpress.com/2011/09/30/episode-37-hammer/

30 09 2011
Twiggy

Please do some research into the socio-political circumstances leading up to the Eureka rebellion, and henceforth avoid comparing that act of anti-Imperialism with the spoiled consumer class turds of today

30 09 2011
Mick

I’m confused. If the bogan wants all of its tax back, how does it get on its high horse and angrily demand whatever is the latest bogan catchcry by yelling “I pay my taxes!”

Is this a seasonal thing? Can the tax-paying bogan only demand things before October 31?

The bogan does not feel obliged to behave in an internally consistent manner. TBL

30 09 2011
moar caek

Included in my CV is a period of time in the service of the Family Assistance Office. Commenteers who have successfully reproduced will be aware that the Gubmint gives Sweet Cash Payments to the breeding classes in (optional) fortnightly doses based on an income estimate provided by the recipient.
An annual supplement payment is also made at the end of the fin year.

The intent of the supplement is actually to offset any overpayment to the recipient due to underestimating of the income (such is the foresight of gubmints), yet the busiest time of the year was this settlement period – an endless drone of bogan self entitlement whining that they didn’t get their “bonus”. Maybe you should have figured that one into your crafty little scheme to get bigger fortnightly payments by underestimating your income, Genius.
Maybe you could have just elected to take the whole thing as a single payment at the end of the year? Big Cash Cheque right there. Give me a lump sum every time.

The period I was in servitude of said Office coincided with the stimulus payments BTW. saw some Effing Big Cash Cheques go out there.
don’t whine at me about how tough you’re doing it Fool, i) I don’t care and ii) I can see your annual income for the last ten years.

have I mentioned we did not receive the stimulus payments? One was for taxpayers and the other was for pensioners. The beloved and I were coincidentally in the wrong box at the wrong time to receive either payment. It is likely this is why we don’t have a massive telly.

anyway. John Howard cruelled the Tax Return. When I was in the Army we used to be able to claim our haircuts on our tax return.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I used my tax refund for my trip. Had my return in mid July and cash in bank on the first week of said trip. Thanks Joolia and Wayno!

Is that bogan?

30 09 2011
Mick

You didn’t go to Bali, so no.

I bought golf clubs with mine. Martin will think that is bogan but f#ck him.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Yeh, F&ck you Martin!

30 09 2011
martin

Yeah pull your socks up Mick ya big yogan.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Martin, are you backing Geelong or Collingwood?

30 09 2011
moar caek

he’s backing manly Simon.
how about it Martin, all NZ grand final. who’d a thunk it?

30 09 2011
martin

Nahahm not. You can verify my allegience in the last thread. F#ck these northern beaches bogans. Bunch of f#rken idiots.

Ha ha @ Manly being NZ too.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Oi, you’re hijacking ma AFL thread, stay on topic dammit.

30 09 2011
martin

Hey if they bring back Lionel Ritchie I’ll watch it for that. Then turn it off. As even gayfl is gayer than Lionel Ritche.

30 09 2011
Mick

I would like to see the kiwis win the RL but lose the RU.

That would create a hole in the time-space continuum and NZ would disappear up a sheep’s arse.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Lionel was an embarassment. Mr Loaf this year. Not quite so Ghey. Who do you have, Shannon Knowl I suppose.

30 09 2011
martin

We have some pop tart called Kelly Clarkson and libtard 2 semi hit wonder has beens Eskimo Joe. It’s gonna be so good. Sucked in.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Ouch, that f$cking sucks. Meatloaf is looking good!

30 09 2011
martin

At least they don’t have nut cancer and man boobs. Even more ouch.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Would it be unfair to wish both of those on Clarkson and Eskimo? All the NRL bogans will want to #124 Kelly and glass Eskimo for being lame.

30 09 2011
moar caek

I’ll ditto mick re: RL and RU.
I love to beat NZ at anything but f#ck Manly. I’d rather see the trophy in Waikikkamuukau than manly.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Oh, I’m so sorry Caek. Married into teh Collingwood, damn. May I suggest a nice 2002 Shiraz as an antidote?

30 09 2011
moar caek

Shiraz, Cabernets, Aged Reislings, Pale, it all works Simon.
that’s the beauty of collingwood.

30 09 2011
moar caek

Sorry Simon.
I personally am faintly indifferent to the AFL, however I have married into Teh Collingwood, So my wife and proto daughter follow Collingwood and thusly if you are intending apon impugning Teh ‘Pies I shall have to ask you to metaphorically step outside.

weagles
lol

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomnesss

If I was in charge these guys would be playing!

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Nah, NZ v England.

30 09 2011
martin

Um, Collingwood? Aren’t they the scum of the earth? I’m going for the underdogs so I’m going for Auckland in the NRL. Plus I knew a guy from Geelong and he was an annoying little sychophant.

Probably won’t watch it though, I’ll drink beer and peruse the interwebs. It’s more interactive and I’m a bit of a nogan.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I got moderated for trying to post Toto’s Africa video as my choice of Grand final entertainment. Damn, it’s not that bad!

Any other suggestions?

30 09 2011
martin

Painters & Dockers “Nude School” for the AFL.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

But that’s actually good. Not sure you have the hang of this yet Martin.

30 09 2011
martin

Can’t think of any songs that celebrate rape and glassings for the NRL.

Maybe Jimmy Barnes “Working Class Man”, change the lyrics and rename it to “Glassin’ Class Man”.

30 09 2011
Mick

Hey martin, I don’t think Mr Rich had that in mind when he sung this, but it certainly fits.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I have the song for you Martin courtesy Brian (I used to root Deltra) Mc Fadden. A song about date rape.

I like you just the way you are
Drunk as shit dancing at the bar.
I like it,
and I can’t wait to get you home,
so I can do some damage.
I like you just the way you are.
Jump in the back seat of my car,
cos I like it
and I can’t wait to get you home
so i can take advantage.

30 09 2011
Mick

Anything by U2 post-1987.

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Fark me dead, Simon. My little sister’s school choir did that as their song recently and I haven’t gotten it out of my head until recently. Thanks for putting it back.

*glasses Simon for re-introducing the epitome of soft rock wankery to my head*

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

C’mon Ash, Toto is cool. Only hipsters don’t like Toto.

1 10 2011
moar caek

pfft.
that makes this the weakest thing EVAR

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

These guys are playing as well Ash. It’s a soft rockathon dude.

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Oh f*ck it fine…I like that song.

“I close my eyyyyyyeeeeeees as she slips awaaaaaayyy…..”

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Should we close with this?

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Or this?

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

My mum loves Peter F*ckin Cetera (as I call him).

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

The man is a soft rock god. And by that I mean lame. I posted you some Soundgarden to make up for it though.

30 09 2011
Pandabater
30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Gawd Panda, that’s sludgy.

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Kool and the Gang are kool indeed. What’re they doing playing at a cheesefest like that?

30 09 2011
Pandabater

They’ve got kool 5 star kamping, kool 5 star kitchen & kool rides to kasualty from to much koke.

1 10 2011
moar caek

Made of Fail.

1 10 2011
moar caek

I have that jacket.

30 09 2011
Mick

Yogan? Another new sub-species?

Go Geelong. They are bogan but infinitely less than Collingwood.

30 09 2011
martin

Yeah it’s the game yogans play. Yuppy bogans. The spivs who don’t do any work so they can take lots of days off to play golf and be a big poser.

30 09 2011
Mick

Yep, that’s me.

Although, can someone who works in the moines be a yuppy?

30 09 2011
martin

Probably not. You play on the local scumbag public course do you? We have a 9 hole scumbag course at Avalon where I used to play a bit.

30 09 2011
Mick

Ha, yes I do.

We do play the flash courses once every two or three months but I guess that doesn’t make up for it.

30 09 2011
moar caek

I shall be a Libtardigan. I love golf and I play private tracks, but I’m pretty povvo just now and I’m not very good at it. Meet a man who consistently shoots mid fifties on the front nine at Blackwood.

30 09 2011
moar caek

golf is rock.
…and full marks for the “fight club” bite before. the loaf’s greatest work.

30 09 2011
martin

If I had some decent clubs and I could drive without my stupid slice I might like it sort of again too. Pretty good exercise at least and a decent dose of vitamin d.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Golf – The best way to ruin a good walk.

Winston Churchill.

30 09 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
Is said that ‘s why the Martians have not made contact.
They looked down and said to themselves.
Must not be intelligent life if their leaders spend weekends hitting a little white ball with a stick.

30 09 2011
James Hunter

Mick,
Some in the Moines are snobs even. Depends on the actual job they do you see. Some look down their noses at others and some are appologetic about being in the Moines. Just doing it for a while then once the McMansion is paid off I’ll go get a real job.
Quite touching. or was that touched ?

1 10 2011
Mick

Oh, they’re snobs alright. But you’re right, the ones who have an education and have necessary skills to be deployed are a bit sheepish. Nobody wants to be a bogan.

Except for the bogan earning his pittance for spending his life in a shithole. He don’t know no better.

30 09 2011
moar caek

we’re getting one of those monster off road jogging strollers with my refund!
the hilarious irony is MY WIFE ACTUALLY JOGS!!!
a haha ahahaha ah haa haa haa aha aha ha ha.

er hmm.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

The trailer behind the shogun will be full Moar, Nuts and Nimrod Gympie.

30 09 2011
moar caek

there’s a staffy mastiff pup in there too. @25kg for seven months old I might need to add a sidecar. are you seeing the wisdom of the flash stroller and the jogging wife yet Simon? how the hell do I get a shogun/sidecar outfit up the stelvio?
…although I’ve just thought of a new class for the Giro d’Onkaparingaring.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

You’re going to need one of these Chubs.

30 09 2011
Pandabater

Bit late here.
Fishing Rod & HD recorder with tax return.
Go Manly, AFL is cross country basketball.
Golf rocks, the only sport you can do the same as the pros.
NRL entertainment always fails. Hilariously.
Ms Clarkson better have good life insurance.

1 10 2011
moar caek

pure shimmering gold simon.
I can fit three sidecars and a trailer!

Gods bless the Goodies.
that was entertainment.

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

Yep, them and Monkey. Dare I say platinum.

30 09 2011
moar caek

Sydney uns.
your weekend plans are here: Live TBL (non) Book Launch!
1 date only!
LIVE LIVE LIVE
direct from GHANA and DARWIN
the fabulous
BOGANOMICS
ALL NUDE
SHOW BAND AND REVUE
AND TALKING
LIMITED EDITION!!!
SPECIAL GUESTS:Claire Hooper, Jon Ronson, Emmanuel Jal, Mike Daisey, Slavoj Zizek and Space Cowboy.
NUDE NUDE NUDE

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/sydney-opera-house/not-quite-so-dangerous-20110913-1k79p.html#ixzz1ZOjjj8sb

does anyone have the means or the will to youtube this?

30 09 2011
James Hunter

Moar,
They asked Chayne (Space Cowboy and they didn’t ask me (Baby Hanibal) I am so miffed.
Would be good to have had Emma Jane as MC she is wicked.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

They must not be having a sausage sizzle JH. I don’t think hipsters eat sausages. You might need to work lentil burgers into your show.

1 10 2011
moar caek

did you ever work with jim rose James?
or are you not freaky enuff?

1 10 2011
James Hunter

moar,
Once only just befor the Adelaide Fringe not sure of the year about 1996 0r so.Did a reasonable number of shows with St Mathew?Matty Blade back then and must admit we both thought Jim Rose was all Yankee Showman but not as extreeme as we were.

1 10 2011
moar caek

I can believe that.
Tokyo Shock Boys for Me.

1 10 2011
James Hunter

Yes Tokyo Shock Boys are fun. We met tghem back stage at The Thebarton Theatre Fringe 2000 or 2002. They were realy concerned for us …they figured we were masochists !!!
Wonder what theyd think of The Misfits?
Just working with Producers for next years Aust Got Talent.. watch this space.

30 09 2011
martin

Can we declare “gadget lust” as bogan? I think so.

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/the-dark-side-of-apple-one-mans-monologue-of-misery-20110930-1l0hg.html

A million ways to look at the web and deal with “photos, music, email, twitter and facebook!” and it’s mostly a bunch of shit. ‘cept for TBL of course. :D

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Big Day Out – LoL

Last truly kick ass line up 1994 (yeh really, google it)

I’d almost go to see Soundgarden though, but only if they are still pissed off.

30 09 2011
Mick

Eh? Soundgarden? Good heavens! Angry, angry men. Didn’t young Chris once say that Superunknown was the best grunge album ever made? I think at the time I agreed with him.

Yeah, I would go if they were still angry. The crowd would make me angrier though and it would be up the belltower with a rifle for me..

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

True dat re the crowd, but Badmotorfinger was a far superior album.

I went to BDO a few years ago to see Neil Young and the crowd were pretty sh*tful but I got me a good spot inside the barrier where it is far less crowded and half the youngies left after Arctic Monkeys finished boring us to tears.

30 09 2011
moar caek

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

That’s the shit Outshined video. Doesn’t even have the farkin guitar solo. My Uncle Kim was pissed at that.

(Yes, I have been known to claim Kim Thayil is my uncle and gotten away with it).

1 10 2011
moar caek

a friend of mine claims a friend of his’ sister screwed Kim after a gig in New Zilland.

it has the ring of truth.

I’m sorry about the wrong video ash.

3 10 2011
Mick

God, I had forgotten how good that was. I need to listen to my old stuff a lot more.

30 09 2011
moar caek

I was part of a minor crowd revolt at Soundgarden in Perth in the ninety somethings.

I’m thinking soundgarden actually did the v. first BDO…
might be wrong but memory suggests nirvana and soundgarden were both on it.
The BDO was awesome once. whilst that clearly has a lot to do with my age, I recall the early syney BD’sO were an absolute freakshow. I clearly recall there being absolutely NO lineup for the alcohol. SRSLY why would you? this was before f*cktards decided “moshing” was an extreme sport. and the whole thing got segmented.
I see all the kids off to the festies these days and it just reeeks of facebook and corey worthington. but I’m sure they’re still having mad fun.

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Nah, Nirvana and Violent Femmes were the first one Chubs. I have a poster to that effect.

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

And moshing is fun and a great release if and only if everyone else recognises that safety has to matter and there’s no prize for being a farkwit in the pit. Unfortunately bogans have and will never learn this. To them it’s an excuse to be maxxtreme aggro and bash some carnt.

30 09 2011
martin

It used to be about alienation and misanthropy and smoking bongs which was cool then it became all about fun like you’re on romper room or some shit. Gen ys are so gay when it comes to music.

Showing my age, I bet Ash doesn’t know romper room, or fat cat, or noddy. Libtards killed fat cat and noddy.

1 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Don’t lump all us Gen Yers in one basket. I don’t listen to any music that doesn’t make more sense when stoned or wasted than when sober. F*ck all this party/good time shit. I don’t wanna party and have fun with a bunch of f*ckheads. I want to bang my head and beat the shit out of those f*ckheads.

And of course I know Romper Room and Noddy. Not Fat Cat so much. But my mum still has a bunch of Noddy videotapes (yeah, VCR ones) from when I and my big sister were little. I’m young but not that f*ckin young.

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I’m going just for Soundgarden. I know they’ll play sideshows, but I’m going for those as well.

I f*ckin worshipped Chris Cornell when I was a bit younger. Nearly destroyed my vocal cords trying to nail some of his higher notes in the shower. I can brave the bogan masses for them.

30 09 2011
moar caek

what was the thing he did with whatshisname from RATM….
did you dig that?

not me.

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Audioslave. It was Chris with the instrumental section of RATM.

I reckon they had a few decent songs but never really had the potential to do more. Chemistry just didn’t seem to be there.

Set It Off is in my Cornell shower belt out rotation though.

30 09 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Best thing they did!

30 09 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Their best song IMO.

1 10 2011
Mick

Yeah, it’s like they had two leads reversing into each other.

Audioslave were much underrated. We were all too used to Soundgarden and expected something over the top that hasn’t been there since Led Zeppelin.

I suspect Chris had a man-crush on Robert Plant.

30 09 2011
martin

Spoonman is my favourite, awesome riff. I knew I was missing something from my mp3 collection. Thank you.

1 10 2011
moar caek

Ash I just remembered Temple of the Dog.
if memory serves, it was chris cornell with what remained of Mother Love Bone after Andy whatisname died and a dude they’d recruited from LA or something who had put some lyrics to a tape Stone Gossard was flogging ’round. His name was Eddie Vedder, and he got on so well with what remained of Mother Love Bone, they formed a band and called it Mookie Blaylock.
and then changed it to Pearl Jam.
anyway, Temple of the Dog may be the first recordings of what became pearl jam, and Chris is givin the pipes a solid workout.
Hunger Strike.

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I have that album, on cassette tape. Better give it a run and see how it has held up.

1 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

I have that album. Gonna give it a run now.

Although *nitpick moment* Eddie was from San Diego, not LA.

1 10 2011
moar caek

“uited from LA or something who ha”

I actually have the gossard tapes in mp3 somewhere and I may even have Bad Radio doing Betterman…

how did the TotD stand up boys?

30 09 2011
LRB

I work as a tax accountant for an accounting firm that is aimed at the bogan market. The amount of claims that I have had from clients that are dubious are astronomical. Which lead to them becoming abusive when I disallow them, and their continual retort of my last accountant allowed it. Or my favourite ‘Since I started goin’ to an accountant for me tax, my refund has gone down.’ Yes madam and so has the amount of fraud.

A chilling insight. TBL

30 09 2011
Bobble-Head Cthulu

Local rag ran a story with a tax accountant bemoaning the same thing, LRB. His words (not mine) were that the group most likely to give grief over dodgy claims were chalkies. Sigh. You can always tell a school teacher, you just can’t tell ‘em much.

1 10 2011
Mick

When I was a contractor at the moines, we used to get paid an absolute shitload in expenses. 35 grand a year tax free or there abouts. Paid for our accomodation and airfares. Score.

The blokes were running around work with this tax ruling saying you could claim, if I remember correctly, $275 a day. We were already getting $180 a day expenses. So all these guys were claiming an extra $95 a day on their tax returns. I ran this past my accountant. He showed me lots of rulings why I could and why I couldn’t. He said don’t and if I wanted to then take my business elsewhere. So I didn’t.

My tax return was still quite healthy. Blokes I work with laughed at me. I asked them if they had receipts for everything they spent. “Nah, don’t have to”. Why, I asked, when my accountant said you could do it but you had to have every cent spent on paper?

Their response? You need a better accountant.

What pisses me off? These parasites know that they have won. Unless the ATO targets what I do then they will get away with it. Bogans prosper where honest people do the right thing.

30 09 2011
Pandabater

Friday Bogue 35 minutes.
Was doing my washing at the Laundromat & a “beggar” was moving & darting faster than a camp-draught horse asking anyone for a couple of dollars to “catch a train to visit his daughter”. Outside the pub. Bogue gets accosted on the way into the laundry to pick up his washing & spends five minutes going on about the “beggar”. Bogue leaves laundry & “beggar” fronts him again. Bogue launches into “beggar” & ideas are exchanged for approximately 12.5 meters of footpath. The combatants agree to disagree & bogue drives off in his filthy VT Commodore & “beggar continues his quest to travel to the mysterious land of daughter. By now all the local shopkeepers are on their front step & yelling to people to not give him any money but he shall not be swayed from his goal. Enter stage right bogue who stops in the middle of the street to berate “beggar” who is pleading through a cars tinted window. Bogue does a 7 point turn & parks & closes the windows & carefully locks his car. He fronts “beggar” with a accusation of pick pocketry as bogue has misplaced his wallet. With his blood boiling he demands “beggar” empty his pockets, pats him down & checks him over. No wallet is found. Bogue goes back to Commodore & is seen foraging through the car with “beggar” looking in the window. It seems at this time that the missing item has appeared from inside the car. Over the next few minutes more friendly ideas are exchanged & then there is a handshake & after cordial goodbyes bogus drives off seemingly satisfied with his afternoons work. After doing 5 point turn to leave stage left. “beggar” runs to next potential benefactor. Panda goes back to watching the dryer. Round & round & round & round & round & round & round.

30 09 2011
James Hunter

Panda,
Real pi8ty you did not have some score cards to hold up for the respected performances ?

1 10 2011
moar caek

I love watching dryers.

1 10 2011
James Hunter

moar
You sit there talking to yourself and find you are in a circular argument ?

1 10 2011
moar caek

I saw infinity once, it looked like the back of my head.

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

#5321 – Matching Tracksuits.

Surely friends or family would tell them. I nearly piss myself laughing every time I see it.

1 10 2011
moar caek

#5320 – Tracksuits.
if you are outside your home, and you are not en route to or from some sort of gymnasia or sporting event in which you are a participant, you SHOULD NOT be wearing a farking tracksuit!!!
Bogan.

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

My rule with trackies – Never.

1 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Especially Wogan.

“Oh my god mate check out mah fully hektic new Adidas trackies.”

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

And they love those fully sik fanny packs.

1 10 2011
moar caek

because that’s where you (might) carry your Gun.

derr.

did you even watch underbelly?

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

Ummm, no sorry, and I like boobs.

1 10 2011
martin

Meatloaf in the old days acted like he needed to take a shit when really getting into the song, it’s a standard rock thing, looking strained. But from what I saw on the news he literally looked like he needed to take a shit.

Face it Simon he sucked and Kelly Clarkson will be an awesome historical moment.

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

You’re delusional. Meatloaf kicked arse in all his offkey glory. Amorosi did the anthem and seriously embarrased herself.

You know Clarkson will suck dried donkey balls, there is not getting around it.

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

Meatloaf ripped it up. Goodluck with Clarkson and Eskimo Joe. Suckers.

1 10 2011
judgefloyd

Well it was nice while it lasted, but now that TBL is just recycling old blog posts, I think I’ll give it a miss. Thanks for the chuckles (or should I say ‘LOLs’?)

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

F*cking Collingwood, lay down and die you toothless ferals.

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

Yeeeehhhh, go Cats, f#CK teh Collingwood, f*CK Eddie Mc Guire and f%CK Nathan Buckley.

Sorry Baeks Caek.

1 10 2011
moar caek

Baeks says it’s ok, they weren’t due to win for another 19years anyway.
Senior is disconsolate. He decamped to the study about halfway through the third. He swore more today than all the collective swears I have ever heard him do. apparently victorian collingwood fans get an extra turnip in their swill at the homeless shelter in consolation though…
not sure where I heard that,
probably twitter.

1 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

Stay tuned on the Malthouse story, he is pissed and will dump on Eddie and Nafan, can’t wait.

2 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

This is for you Baeks Caek, hope you are not too shattered and sorry you are now stuck with Buckley.

I am sure you will like this.

2 10 2011
Edna Focke-Witte

Thanks Simon. It helps a little. I’m off to check out more Sleater Kinney! So much good music comes out of the Pacific North-West, It must be all that rain.

3 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Farken bloody farken Cats!

Was kicking the footy around inconsolably after the game… yup, I believe I was wearing a Collingwood guernsey… and some tight-jeansed, pointy-shoes wearing, fairweather Geelong maf#cker had the nerve to belt out the Cats anthem as he passed me by. Gotta salute his bravery. Mind, I’m kickin’ around with a gaggle of mates, one of them an especially angry fella, slap-bang in Magpie heartland. Just to defy the stereotype, I resisted the urge to beat the piss outta the lanky prick but back in the day he would’ve been in a world of trouble. Me gramps wouldn’ta played dat shit back in the roaring ’50s. Fortunately our society’s a more tolerant one these days, but still, that Geelong bloke ought to hop back on his dilapidated boat and Go the fark Back To Where He farken Came From. Or maybe he can just stay here at Collingwood Detention Centre, i.e. tied nekkit to a lamppost @ Victoria Park Station, broken bottles piercing his backside, draining me taxpayer dollahz…

AFL thread back on, Simon. Do yer worst.

Also, All Hands on the Bad One is an unfairly maligned reckerd in the Sleater-Kinney catalogue. And Outshined in the best Soundgarden song…

“So now you know,
who-oo gets mystifiiiiied…”

Discuss.

3 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Outshined in the best Soundgarden song, but it also is the best Soundgarden song. That’s how shit-hot it is. Too bad some of its lyrics spawned a crap movie starring Keanu Reeves and Cameron Diaz.

3 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Yeh, always going to struggle against One Beat, Hot Rock and Dig me Out (my ranking) but then The Woods rules them all.

God love Geelong, you should be thanking them. If you won and then Nafan had to take over it would be a sh*t sandwich for all concerned. There is still poo in the sandwich though, any way you look at it Buckley is a tosser and you are stuck with him. I reckon the Pies will struggle with him next year, buggered if I would play for him.

2012 – The year of the Eagle

I thought Soundgardens best song was Kashmir?
2012

3 10 2011
2 Sparse 2 Spurious

Dig Dig Me Out… and Buckley’ll do jus’ fine mereckons. Good football brain. Um, just fer a jump-start to season 2012 though, any chance of yous fellas givin’ us Naitanui? We’re, like, in a rebuilding phase ‘n shit…

Oh, that’s right… Seems our most vocal fans’re a buncha racist c#nts so I guess Nic Nat’s outta the question. How about Dean Cox? He’s awright. C’mon mate. Jolly’s broken, Mick’s gawn, Eddie’s upset and looking for another primo Coaster to poach. Do us a solid, willya Woosha?

Yer right, Led Zep’s best song is The Day I Tried To Live.

And the Loaf sucked balls, Jolly Green Giants and Shitty Beatles.

1 10 2011
moar caek

Gee. Allan Moffat is still alive.
huh. I hadn’t really thought about it.

1 10 2011
Mick

A non-bogan in a bogan world was Allan. It used to be said that he never was really embraced by Oz because he was Canadian. No. It was because he wasn’t a bogan.

Read about his life and you will see that he had lots of WTF moments when faced with the realities of Oz car racing. I think he thought they were all a bit shallow.

1 10 2011
martin

I was bored so I was going to look at pictures of the eastern suburbs trust fund kiddy bogans whilst I mildly entertain the idea that I might fluke it and break ranks and be a spiv one day too then I found this.

TBL #4521985 – Killing your own child with your 4WD.

This is the 4th such incident in 2 weeks.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/another-toddler-tragedy-as-4wd-kills-young-girl-in-northern-territory/story-e6freuy9-1226155047882

I’m just glad it’s their own kids and not someone elses.

2 10 2011
Mick
3 10 2011
p'bee

only things that are useful.

3 10 2011
Mick

p’bee, I shall just quietly agree with you and let the lads below us go a bit boganish…

3 10 2011
martin

At least QLD’ers know that they’re bogans. Sydney and Melbourne people are bogans but think they’re not. Having a lot of bikini babes on a beach at once is very useful. I’ll take the girl with the aqua top and the black bottoms.

3 10 2011
James Hunter

Martin,
Good choice. Must admit the second from front ,pink top and black bottoms looks rather nice.
A lot of Melbournians are covert bogans who adopt a superficial venere of sophisticated urbanity when in strange company. half a dozen shots later they emerge from their cocoon as fully disfunctional bogans

3 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

That’s Snooki, JH. I didn’t realise pathetic reality show characters were yr thing? I thought you were into the Rubenesque ladies.

3 10 2011
martin

Thank you JH, I’m sure you have a bigger donger than me James but I’d be better at 124.

Wow, 124 jokes have a lot of life in them. Cool.

3 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Pfft, I am the farkin’ king of #124 on TBL. Martin is like Scar to my Mufasa, only I’m not getting thrown off a cliff.

3 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Now that’s something to be proud of.

Say it with me: Aussie Aussie Aussie….

(No-one? Really? Well, fark youse then).

OI OI OI!

3 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Upon closer look, my observations of the talent in this world record:
– I didn’t realise they flew in Snooki to compete.
– Martin has lousy taste in bikini babes.
– Does the blonde in the yellow bikini have a Southern Cross in a circle?
– I’ll take Peace Sign Chick in the first photo.

3 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Yeh, she’s all your’s Martin.
*glasses Ash for looking at my Bikini Babe*

3 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Pfft, as if.

*glasses Simon more maxxtremely for insinuating my babe was his, knowing that they’re all watching and this means a shot at #124 with more than one of them*

3 10 2011
martin

FIne with me. Yours looks like she works as a ho, did you notice her fake tits? Ha ha. I win. Mine looks like she’s about 18 and barely been touched, let alone had any 124. Yours looks like she has 124 for breakfast.

Btw mine is in the second picture although there’s a tall brunette with aqua top and black bottoms at the back of the first picture, still shits all over yours.

Both of you need to choose again.

3 10 2011
martin

I’ll choose for you, youse can both have snooki in a MMF threesome, in public.

3 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

And I was right Clarkson and Eskimo Joe were worse than Turkish jail.

3 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

A friend of mine met Kelly while she was in town. The force of #124 is apparently strong in that one.

3 10 2011
martin

I didn’t even watch it. Because watching NRL is as bogan as f#ck. I did however drink a shit load of beer which is also bogan as f#ck. But not as bogan as watching any form of football.

In fact TBL should do entries on ARL and NRL, and drinking large quantites of beer, but then again the Germans do it, and they haven’t been bogan since 1945. They just look a bit bogan with their big box heads.

3 10 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts While Holdin' Up The Taj Mahal

Oh yeah, that goes without saying. Of course Snooki’s getting spit-roasted. JH, would you like the back door or may I take it?

And I think they’re the same chick.

Although I like women with a little experience in #124. Makes me feel less guilty when I go in cause some other carnt has loosened it for me.

3 10 2011
James Hunter

Ash the one I suggested would be a great little jockey although I generally prefere rubenesque types ,for bimbo on top she looks sweet. Maybe shell keep her high heals on to get a grip[ ?

3 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Hey, have you nerds seen this, farking hilarious.

No, I don’t know why I can’t embed

Deturk ur jerbs!

3 10 2011
martin

It’s because you’re a bogan.

Yeah. Pretty funny.

I can’t wait for the election. The Liberals will use these meatheads to scare us about the Carbon Tax and Labor will use, maybe even the same meatheads hopefully, to scare us about Work Choices 2.

4 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Ok, so I go to utube, hit the share button, hit embed, copy the link, paste it on here and hey presto, fail. I don’t get it?

Do you need to be a nogan to make it work, is there a secret handshake or sumfink.

4 10 2011
martin

No. You go to the video on youtube, press ctrl l, then ctrl c then come back here and press ctrl v to paste it.

You pasted [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vIKgDs-xx0&w=420&h=315

You want it without the “[youtube” bit at the start.

4 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

4 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

http://www.youtube.com/embed/6vIKgDs-xx0” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

4 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

There, I got rid of the youtube bit and still nuffin.

Which bit are you copying? Embed code or what.
Fer f#cks sake.

4 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness
4 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I’m gunna glass sum carnt.

4 10 2011
martin

It’s the text in the browser. The bit where you type http://www.simonisabogan.com

4 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

So what is the embed code useful for?

4 10 2011
martin

This site uses wordpress I think so wordpress probably does something to it.

4 10 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

WordPress is pretty bogan.

3 10 2011
Mick

FFS, bikies pull a gun and can’t even hit a bloke wearing fluro.

Mass bogan fail.

3 10 2011
4 10 2011
James Hunter

The politicisation of “news” of sport for nothing other then the dubious long term interests of Media owners,cronies and political suckholes is enough to make one consider starting a revolution.
Anyone know some Libyans who could give us some hints.

25 03 2012
Jane Blight

“In modern Australia, income tax is deducted from a worker’s salary at a rate that, all other things being equal, should result in the person neither underpaying or overpaying tax throughout the year.”

Actually, no. The tax scales are set up to avoid people being under-taxed, which is why virtually every employee (if tax is deducted accurately by the employer) gets a refund.

You don’t have to make an iffy expense claim in order to get a refund. If you’ve been taxed accurately each week, you should get a refund anyway, whether you are employed as a brickie or a brain surgeon.

The key to making funny social observations is accuracy. If you ain’t got that, you ain’t got nuthin’.

Agreed. That’s why we used the term “all other things being equal” to suggest that if the taxpayer was eligible for other deductions, a refund may be applicable. We were specifically referring to the level of income tax deducted from a given salary. The writer of this entry has postgrad quals in commerce. TBL

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