#126 – Hey, Hey It’s Saturday

14 04 2010

With bogan treasure Rove McManus calling time on his weekly variety show late in 2009, a gaping hole appeared in the Australian TV landscape. With P!nk’s next Australian tour only about three months away at any given time, a replacement promotional vehicle for visiting celebrities had to be found. Fast.

TV executives over at Channel 9 bickered amongst themselves. “Maybe we could give Mick Molloy or Shaun Micallef their 14th chance at finding a sustainable programme format?”, said one. “What about getting Eddie Maguire to do it, so that he never tries to get another back office role?”, enquired another. Finally, one of the older men at the table asked “What’s Graham Kennedy up to these days?”. “Well he’s dead”, replied Eddie. After some initial fingerpointing as to who didn’t lock the boardroom door properly, Maguire was ejected, and the discussion continued. “Well if Kennedy has croaked, the next best thing will be to dust off bloody Darryl Somers and see if he can win the bogan’s heart one more time”.

They needn’t have worried about whether he could. There are few things that the bogan likes more than something it used to like. The bogan will forget that it grew tired of it soon enough, and watch again for at least a couple of years. It had been joining Facebook groups for some time, demanding more unchallenging times with Dickie Knee. Hey Hey It’s Saturday lurched back into life in September 2009, a reunion special 38 years after its initial airing. It featured the same cast, and Russell Gilbert’s gut had arguably grown bigger, creating thrilling visual comedy for the bogan. Bogan women busied themselves with deciding which cast member had aged the best, and breathlessly speculated on who may have had some botox. The other thing that hadn’t changed was the humour.

In the Red Faces segment of the show, the bogan applauded a Jackson 5 “blackface” skit, and Harry Connick Jr did not. The bogan later learned that it was something to do with history or slavery, and bellowed that political correctness had indeed gone mad. The debate died a natural death within a week or so, and the “reunion special” was soon forgotten.  When Rove’s show also died a natural death two months later, Daryl’s phone started ringing once more. To do a show. On Wednesdays. Called Hey Hey It’s Saturday. The bogan, when watching this, will engage in a furious contest with its comrades to be the first to point out that it is, in fact, a Wednesday night, and then chuckle at its acute powers of observation. Of course, the bogan will soon tire of the show it was already tired of, and stop watching. But right now, Channel 9 will milk bogan nostalgia for every bogan buck it can.

When this great bogan entertainment institution wound down in 1999, it coincided with the first year of Rove’s hilarious prime time escapades. A decade later, the baton has again been passed. Back to Daryl. It is understood that Rove has been cryogenically frozen, and will be resuscitated to cater to the bogan’s entertainment needs once surgeons become unwilling to perform any further hip replacements on Daryl Somers.


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556 responses

14 04 2010
Simon

Let me be the first to say “I called it” yay me.

Pretty sure that someone would have made this point during the 1980s at some time. We just felt it merited revisiting. Much like the show itself. TBL

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Noted. Well done Simon.

Why isn’t it called Hey Hey it (isn’t) Saturday? Is this some sort of bogan humour that non-bogans don’t get?

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Perhaps the bogans can learn something from the wednesday night time slot. It’s a bit like ‘Irony for Dummies’.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

“Baldrick, do you know what irony is?”

“Yes. It’s like goldy or bronzy, but it’s made of iron.”

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Now that was comedy.

‘Would you like a cappuccino Sir?’
Hoioioik….

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Sugar…?

14 04 2010
Benjamin

I’m sure everything will be alright once the cream custard arrives.

14 04 2010
Nelson Esq

I have to ask you Baldrick, how did you get so much custard out of such a small cat?

14 04 2010
Andy

Ooh a cappuccino? How lovely…

14 04 2010
Antosha

Captain Darling: ‘Make it a creamy one..’

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Ah, hello there Darling. *eye twitch*

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. This is the absolute bottom of the bogan barrel. International visitors will turn on the TV tonight and see this – what they will make of us? I don’t dare to think… :-(

14 04 2010
Ryu

Considering they’ve gone through Australian Customs in an Australian airport, and then got into a cab with a driver who had absolutely no idea their destination was actually the adjacent suburb, I’d be surprised if they were still here by wednesday [not saturday].

14 04 2010
Tubesteak

It will affirm everything they learned about Aussies in Crocodile Dundee. They won’t get the “humour” (considering it’s Hey Hey it’s difficult to get something that’s not there) but will like the larrikin accent.

I fail to fathom why people would come to Australia anyway and had this very discussion last week with a stripper who was French but parents were from Senegal and had just spent a year in Tokyo. Why Australia?…….

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Have you ever lived abroad?

There are a lot of good things about this place, but perhaps the best thing is that our worst bits are much less worse than most other places on the planet.

And this really is a beautiful country.

14 04 2010
Tubesteak

It’s not that great.

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Mate, it pretty much is.
Having lived in London, HK and Rome, Aus (well, Sydney anyway) pretty much shits on them for just day to day living. Sure the galleries and the tourist brochure stuff for those cities are glam, but it’s all get-outa-here expensive unless you’re a top 5% earner.

Family living in Australia is much cheaper, easier and enjoyable with the range of outdoor stuff we can take a stab at.

There are bogues in every country. Big Brother was on absolutely everywhere.

14 04 2010
Antosha

ALAS !!!

I must protest..

Having lived overseas for the greater part of the last 7 years, I totally agree with Benjamin’s comment. Oz’s worst aspects are not anywhere NEAR as bad as other place’s worst aspects.

Case in point: I can’t recall narrowly averting being blown up on the public transport system last time I was in Brisbane. To me, there’s a big difference between dealing with bogans in the Queen Street Mall vs losing a leg (or a relative) in a suicide bomb attack on your way to work…

15 04 2010
StuManChu

Give it time…

14 04 2010
Stapler

“It’s not that great”

Ok then. Travel a bit more for perspective.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Benji
Here here ! I have flown into lots of countries round the world , asia,north and south americas,UK europe, new guinea,and on and on. Only once have I ever been in a plane when the entire plane load of passengers cheered at arriving someplace and that was Sydney Australia.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Haha, JH! That happened to me once too – but it was after severe turbulance throughout nearly the entire flight and we were applauding the pilots and being alive!

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Italians cheer and applaud when they land. I experienced this flying into Rome.

It was from the UK, so many may have been cheering because they can (at last) get a decent coffee. But I’m told they are just happy the plane has landed in one piece.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Benj;
if it was Alitalia then there would be many reasons !

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

lol @ decent coffee

15 04 2010
Benjamin

It’s no laughing matter I’m afraid.

The only decent cup of coffee you can get in the UK is the one you make yourself. Hell the espresso at Ciampino airport was better than anything I had in the UK (one exception – Carluccios in Cambridge).

14 04 2010
Sideshow

Simple Bogues like strippers, especially if they purport to like an*l

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh Tubesteak! Why not Australia? Yes, we all have enough fodder to talk about every day in the way of stupid people and stupid TV – but Australia is a beautiful country.
And if you don’t understand exactly what people are saying you may even enjoy it more! ;)

14 04 2010
Tubesteak

Yeah nah, bugger the French Riviera, let’s go an stay in Austraya!

Maybe Australia is a homing beacon to bogans from other countries except rednecks because I’ve never seen a redneck outside of their native habitat

14 04 2010
Jo

I’m with you Tubesteak, I don’t feel I have to love this country just because I was born in it and live in it, its not the best country, but its not the worst country, and the grass is always greener on the other side…of the world.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

it was the best country.
the sudden rise in Jingo stocks has seriously devalued us.
not to mention the insider trading on IraqOilGate.

As I trotted the globe in my youth I couldn’t conceive of a place on earth where I wouldn’t be proud to (modestly) declaim my nationality. We took the world with laconic self deprecating humour and modest, open minds. Gratefully I met no OzBogues outside earls court to boot!
alas OzBogue seems to be the national dress and raison abroad in some belittered destinations.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

I blame the olympics for finishing the deal

14 04 2010
Fiona of Balwyn

I’ve just come back from 3 years in the UK where I made an effort NOT to interact with Australians or frequent shitty ‘Aussie’ pubs.

The amount of people who couldn’t place my accent was crazy.
When I would tell them I was Australian I’d be met by surprised faces and the endless cry of “But you’re nothing like an Australian!!”.

Indeed the OzBogue is alive and kicking (although less around Earls Court and more likely on Clapham Common!)

14 04 2010
Sten

Bloody hell, not the Walkabout… when I was in London in 2006, I was dragged along to the “Walkie” in Shepherds Bush. I tolerated it for about ten minutes before leaving.

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

The Church… Clapham Junction, all day Sunday… so the bogue could ring home and tell mum ‘I’m in Church.’

If I heard that joke once…

14 04 2010
Sten

NO! Not Clapham Junction! I still have some fond memories of the place from when I was a wee lad.

Now I feel like Eddie Maguire has just devoured a live kitten.

14 04 2010
Dean

your snobbery is actually more repulsive than drunk Aussies in London, well done!

14 04 2010
Benjamin

“I don’t feel I have to love this country just because I was born in it and live in it”

A good attitude, well said. It feels daft to be proud of a place just because you ended up there by accident of birth.

For the other folks that are giving Oz a bum wrap:

I *do* love this country. It’s a great fit for me and my family as far as I can see. I guess it depends on what you are after in a nation.

Me, I now have children. So I’m less concerned about the exotic and more concerned about the boring bits of living and raising a family. The things that matter to me are (not in this order):

– Beauty (Australia *IS* very beautiful – I love the landscape, especially out here in the mountainous sticks west of Sydney).
– Fantastic weather! (The bits that are not in drought, that is).
– Quality of Life. Australia is generally in the top 5 by most measures (Human Development index has us at 4th at the moment)
– Quality of education and subsidised University study. The UN places Australia at the top of its Education Index (tied with Finland and NZ). This surprised me, but there you go.
– Decent and socialised medical care – Australia ranks 4th for life expectancy, which I think is a good indicator.
– Decent cost of living (woweee, much cheaper than Europe based on median incomes).

Also there is generally low crime, low corruption (there is always corruption everywhere) and our economy is in decent nick so there there are a few jobs about. There are not so many people that the place feels overrun and is bursting at the seams, and not so few that we can’t have the cultural stuff and the benefits of a large workforce. Besides drought there are few natural disasters. There is no political unrest

There is a *very* good balance here in Australia. Some other places have some fantastic attributes, but they tend to be offset by something else that takes the gloss away.

Take a look here to get a feel of how we’re placed. You might be surprised:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia#International_rankings

Other folks will be looking for more excitement, more history, more culture or whatever. I can, and do go visit those places. Meanwhile for the day to day stuff, Australia fares pretty well from where I sit.

14 04 2010
Antosha

Here here Benjamin !!

Live through 4 Russian winters.. then knock a day on the beach at Rainbow Bay or Burleigh Heads.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

hear hear* about here! here!

I too live in this paradise – so I have to cope with the bogan influx. It’s little price to pay…

14 04 2010
brad

crap- name one other country in the world where you could be confident that your children will be able too grow and flourish without the threat of general social breakdown because of economic factors and racial tensions,pollution,lack of recources,over population,the list goes on and if you say Canada ill scream because half of it is the US anyway and its under ice 6 months of the year-end of rant.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Brad,
Exacerly!
My sister has been living in Toronto for last several years and is sooooo over it. Has two more years to go till she can grab her super and excape.
One of the joys to her is having to did the car out of snow bank twicwe a day and having a pressure can of de icing spray in her handbag to free the door lock so she can get into it.
Toronto is like Mineappolis or Towoomba. Flat and boring as shit.
The racial tensions caused by bad immigration policies make our troubles pale into insignificance.
so thats my last rant for today.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

For the same reason bogues move to the goldy: it looks nice if you grew up in frankston.

how did you come to be talking to a stripper?
bus stop?

14 04 2010
Ryu

Yeh, let me guess, you went there once and thought it was really nice? I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess you probably can’t afford to live there.

Agree you don’t have to love a country just because you live/were born there.

It’s all relative: socioeconomic and demographic of where you came from, wether you live at home with your folks. The grass is always greener.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

**because the stripper he met (at a bus stop – hehe) was French…

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Oh right.
Thanks Alyssa.

14 04 2010
Sten Mk II

i’m down with french chicks.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Who the hell are you talking to?

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Tubesteak,
if you ever been to the french riviera youd know why people in the know prefer the gold coast or the sunshine coast or the nsw north coast. Or Rio de Janerio. for that matter.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

A french expat (now In Sydney) I met says that many French folk see Australia as a kind of fairy land. Everything is different and strange; the foliage, the fauna (especially the fauna), the landscape and (gasp) the culture.

And thus for them, it makes for a great holiday. Something really different from Europe.

Of course given the current exchange rate, it makes for an expensive holiday.

14 04 2010
Sten Mk II

i have alot of mates from canada and the states, and the fact i speak to them once a week blows their minds, considering the plethora of deadly creatures we have here. freaks them out no end. and i told them quokkas are carnivorous too.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Tell them about bindies (sic?). Our friends in the UK can’t believe that the grass bites too.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Ben,
in the uk they dont have bindis but they have the joys of their lawns becomming moss covered during the cold wet times.Which is most of the time., sort of like melbourne but worse !!

15 04 2010
Benjamin

This I know well. I tried killing off the moss in our lawn while we were living there.

I lovingly spread weed’n’feed which promptly turned the entire lawn brown (you don’t realise how much moss is there ’till it dies). I then spent the best part of the month raking out the moss (several cubic meters), laying a wee bit of soil and some new seed. And it worked!

Until next year. Moss back, gave up and went inside for a beer.

14 04 2010
pb

i spent a year at uni in canada, and we had one of those ‘getting to know you’ things in the residential college where we had to say a bit about ourselves and where we were from. two things had the canadians in awe – deadly snakes and half flush toilets.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Half flush toilets came up in a meet and greet situation?

14 04 2010
James Hunter

America dosnt have dual flush toilets either. Makes sense, how would any country trhat crashes half their space shuttles have the technology to make a dual flush dunny ??

14 04 2010
pb

well shirley, it was a residence with half canadian students half exchange students and we all had to say something about our home country. there were about half a dozen australians and one guy decided to use half flush toilets as an example of something that’s different about australia. i’m not entirely sure why he decided to use that example, but it got a bemused response.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Sorry – bad logic there. When I said different I meant just meant strange ;-).

14 04 2010
Will S

I might be biased as a biology-type, but for me the flora and fauna (not to mention clean drinking water and all those things) more then make up for our perceived lack of culture… now to stop the bogans from destroying it all!

14 04 2010
Girl of Madness

Gosh let me tell you why! Being of a mixed race family, immigrating to Oz in the late 80s after running away from a scary communist regime, coming to Australia was paradise! Back then Bogans were less in number and welcomed my family with open arms, gave us love and friendship and made me forget all about the horrific events we’ve been through. Australia IS beautiful and the non-bogans are beautiful people. If you need an example, just look right here on this forum. You’re all Australians, and you’re (mostly) all intelligent and if my history repeated in 2010, I’m sure you all would make me feel just as welcome as they did in 1988. So yes, hate on the growing Bogan culture but do not hate on Australia. It saved my life coming here.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Bravo! Well said, madam.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Girl of Madness,
, That is one of the nicest things Iv read on this site.
Go girl Go
may the gods smile kindly on you and yours.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Wonderful!

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

Well said :)

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Thank you Girl of Madness, for sharing such a wonderful story. I’m so pleased to hear your experience was (immediately and for the most part) good. Welcome :)

I often wonder if it’s sites like Facebook that give these racist bogans a voice that escalates the problem… Bogues unite and destroy…

14 04 2010
Girl of Madness

Maybe if Tubesteak traveled the world and not just the French Riviera he/she would realise that the grass on the other side can sometimes actually be mud. And cheers guys xx

14 04 2010
Mike

My god you are good.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Oh, for Christ’s sake.

As if it’s not bad enough having to endure the promos and meedja spots and general chitchat for this carbuncled turd masquerading as entertainment, now my one refuge from the lobotomosed inanity – yes, you, TBL – just HAD to go and do a post on it.

This show packed all the merriment of a gallstone back in the day. I actually cried when they did a rerun of one of last year’s “one-off specials”.

Now I’m seriously considering emigrating. To whence, I neither know, nor care, as long as it has quality free-to-air television viewing.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

*lobotomised*
I’m really very upset.

14 04 2010
14 04 2010
Tombarina

That’s an option. Thank you.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Although, “New Zealand” is our Canada, so perhaps there?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

called it!

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Too close. They’ll probably be getting Hey Hey too.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Shall advise.
Off on hols there in a couple of weeks, so shall assess the suitability of FTA viewing, and take the Bogameter out for a trot.

14 04 2010
Sam

It will explode

14 04 2010
Mick

My parents took off for New Zealand yesterday.

I see now that I should have accompanied them.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Apparently a significant portion of NZ now want to become part of Australia, and it sounds like it is only a matter of time.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8612287.stm

Funnily enough, NZ was invited to join at federation.

14 04 2010
Mick

Judging by the amount of Kiwis I work with in WA I would suggest it’s already a done deal.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

but they’re too proud to admit it.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What do they even have to be proud of? Besides a highly efficient, world-class dairy industry.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

wur not bed et rugby bro.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Flight of the Concords!

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. But Jemaine fell in love with an Australian girl.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

That, and some very fine wines.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Sauvignon Blanc mainly. While I understand that these are extemely good, I’m not a fan of whites generally, so they can keep ‘em.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Their Pinot Noirs are also very good.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Fair point, although the Victorians are already doing a very good job with those. They have to be good for something…

14 04 2010
Sten Mk II

in zid broo.

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

show me any kiwi wine and I will give you a superior australian wine.
it may cost three times as much…
Savvy? it’s the new chardy darls. modest adelaide savvy will defeat your marlborough monster madam!
and pinot?
in NZ?
well yes..
but it’s not mornington peninsula now is it? the Pen is getting quite the reputation with some aged plantings and long vintage. Another little secret is steven george (of Wendouree ) has a planting high in the adelaide hills (and has done for some time) a nice high wet spot predominated by now 30 year old pinots and chardonnay. He and his lovely wife are passionate for pinot! and the results are in. Mr george also bottles some excess wendouree fruit inder his own label in the good years too ;)
Tasmanian pinots, transmogrified to fizz are taking on the world! At Fizz Madam!

NZ make some fine cheese I hear.

15 04 2010
Shirley M

I agree wholeheartedly.

Though, Pegasus Bay savvy is one of the best I’ve ever had.

Still, my point holds that NZ makes good wine.

They also grow some wicked saffron.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi they were the only indigenous peoples who beat the poms and won a treaty.
still result is much the same as here, they more loki the poms then the poms.

14 04 2010
Sten

This old chestnut again?

Why bother? NZ has too much to lose.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Economics.

14 04 2010
Sten

Hmm… the Bogan would be in two minds on this matter. On the one hand, we would’ve annexed NZ (thus stoking the ardent fires of Bogan patrio… uh, jingoism), on the other, we’d be up to here in people with brown skin and funny accents (Fuck off, we’re full!). And there would, I’m sure, be much wailing and gnashing of Bogan teeth.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Well, once conjoined with Oz, the laxer immigration requirements of NZ would naturally disappear to be replaced by ours.

I agree about the accents. The NZ accent is the third worst in the world.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Benj, its very similar to some South Aussies.
ever heard the s.a’s saying Mea Poi for a meat pie ?? breaks me up.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

I can imagine it now on ACA/TT mass bogan glassing. Would the kiwi bogans out glass the Aussie bogan?

14 04 2010
Sten

Presumably, their Bogans wouldn’t need to resort to glassing.

14 04 2010
Sibyl Ince

Yes, they would. the Kiwis bogans don’t use glasses, they bottle people. With longnecks.

14 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Please Ms Toorak, NZ is empty enough with lowering standards with Aussies escaping their kulture…

14 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

No, not New Zealand: it has to be a country with decent free-to-air TV, which automatically rules out NZ for sure.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

HHIShite isn’t shown there, though. That’s a start.

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Umm, yup it is (was). They have a free-to-air channel called Prime which seems to be a Ch 9 re-broadcaster.

It appeared to be mildly bemusing to the locals and didn’t rank on anyone’s conversation meter.

Mind you, they don’t have 20-to-1. That’s pretty good going.

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

And actually the free to air is rather decent. Mostly Kiwi or UK stuff, less of the US-centric stuff we have and the programs run to time. ie you can set your recorder and not be cut off 10 before the end because %$#@%& Ch 9 have plugged in too many ads or shite promos.

What is it with that? How do you not know how long your ads and promos are going to run and run your programs way over time vs the Guide start time?

Do they not understand how utterly, appallingly cynical and rude that is?? Oh. Yes. They do. But don’t care. My mistake. Glass ‘em.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I think they started doing it (running over time) so that you would miss the beginning of the rival network’s show.
And now they all do it (excluding SBS and ABC).
There’s plenty of time overnight to correct it and yet it happens every day.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Just get a PVR/DVR and be done with it. Don’t watch live – it’s too frightening, and who knows what you’ll see.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Nice tie-in with “#124 – Anal” too TBL: “gaping hole”.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

The revival of this program still seems like a hoax to me.

I bet it’s a resounding success. Horrifying stuff.

On the other hand, there’s something to be said for family oriented variety programs – in theory. It has to be better than fat people getting thin, boring people cooking stuff, and young people sometimes dancing/singing, but mostly crying. Just not this vintage example.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What would you like to see Shirley? A “Country Practice” reunion series? They’d have to call it “An Urban Fringe Development Practice” now I suspect.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

The producers of a Country Practice have since moved on to better things (perhaps the best thing of all); They now make Wine.

They have some very good stuff too: http://wandinvalley.com.au/

If only they had dropped the name.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Hands off A Country Practice, you lot. HANDS OFF! Best show ever made in this country. I’ll have you know, I am currently watching series 2 of this fine program. And guess what? Richard Wilkins made a cameo! I kid you not. He played a cool young hitchhiker. The hair was magnificent, and his mad skills at flicking it about was second to none.

Way to defeat your own argument! TBL

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Shirl, I doubted your assertion re Aussie Rich visiting the Valley, Googled, and am about to tuck into a hearty serve of humble pie.

And behold, in Rich’s bio on the MarksonSparks! site: “Wilkins……appearing on various programs including COUNTDOWN and SOUNDS and even cropped up in an episode of A COUNTRY PRACTICE.”

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Seriously!? It wasn’t even a speaking part! Hahahahahaha

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. So very much like his current gigs then?

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Yep. The man plays to his strengths.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Shut up TBL! It falls into the ‘so bad it’s f*cking great’ category. :P

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

seems like a hoax

agreed! this is not happening!!!

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

if only it was. Judging by their enthusiasm, it will last more than the predicted 2 seasons…

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

longer than*

14 04 2010
Simon

I’m going to need another carton of VB today, you with me Brad and Fi?

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What’s “VB”?

14 04 2010
Simon

You use the empty receptacle to glass c*nts Fi. The contents though are horrible and will give you a shocking hangover if you can stomach the taste. It pretends to be beer.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Ew, as if *I* would drink beer! I’ll bring my own case of (non-LVMH) champagne.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

A *case*! Fiona you lush.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, I WAS going to share… You know, casting pearls before swine and all that.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Still, a case between three…

You might do something you will regret. Besides associating with lessers of course.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Associating with you lesser people would be shame enough. :-(

14 04 2010
Robbie

Be careful not to drink too much Fi…you may find yourself waking up in the gutter in the morning, panties around your knees and a sore ‘back passage’

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. How dare you! *slap*

14 04 2010
Sten Mk II

and this would be different from every other morning how?

14 04 2010
Simon

Great, Champagne is even better. Easier to drink and those long, sturdy necks provide far greater leverage for the glassing. Meet you at the studio. The driver will know where to go and could chef pack us some treats to go with the Champers.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Simon, Champagne bottles are a lousy choice.

They are made to withstand very high pressure, and will be a bugger to smash. You’ll probably end up glassing yourself trying.

They also have rather too much heft to be wielded with any finesse.

I suggest you practice a bit at home before attempting it in the field.

14 04 2010
Simon

Ben,

Been out the back with a bottle of Great Western and I have got the hang of it. They are tough to break but that long neck is great to grip.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Hmmm. I think I have an empty sparkling red bottle somewhere. I’ll have to try.

What surface did you use to smash it?

15 04 2010
Simon

A concrete edge.

14 04 2010
Peter

What’s LOL ?

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Virgin Bits

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

vb is what you were drinking at the refec thru your arts degree back in the matrix.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

NO WAAAY!!!
hahahahaha
I just waste all my good material on the other thread!

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Where? :-|

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

very drôle.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

chubbybloodfart (08:45:22) :

blessedly I have avoided all exposure to it apart from it bannering the sideline of a footy game I watched. I believe it was St George bending the broncos over…
anyway.
I presume Blackman will be in tow?
it’s like vaudeville/carny.
I imagined people o/s seeing clips of the show when the ‘incident’ occurred and suffered a severe cringe cramp. y’know when you cringe so hard you put yer back out?
It damaged our international reputation waaay more than joining the coalition of the willing.

chubbybloodfart (08:50:30) :

Seriously though…
TBL has to demystify this.
it’s beyond me.
“look kiddies, this is what we thought was funny when we were your age.”
surely this will trigger The Revolution?

chubbybloodfart (08:53:47) :

I think somers has fought long and hard for this.
they had “pilot”, he was begging and pleading the audience to that…
I think he mayhave “compromising evidence” (photos or DNA perhaps) from a nein exec.

two weeks max.
or I’m moving to New Zealand.

that is all.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

come on..
‘cringe cramp’?

pfft.
i don’t even get pa*d for this shi7.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I agree chubby!
your stuff is so good.
I can’t comprehend why no one is laughing…

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Um, is it meant to be funny?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh yes, my œrvre takes on an entirely different flavour if viewed as comedy.

certainly.

14 04 2010
pinky has a brain

Chubby I think you’re hilarious.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Material? threads? giving us the needle?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

*wasted.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Recycle it, Chub. I did!

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

gets a big tldr.
anyway it was fun at the time.

14 04 2010
Robbie

Hey Hey it’s Saturday sits at the bottom of the toilet bowl of entertainment along with 2 & a half Men and ACA/TT…no wonder it’s right up there on the list of Bogan greats..short attention span and little intelligence required.

14 04 2010
lauren

to make it worse they combined the advertising of 2 1/2 men with hey hey into one god awful cut & paste mess.

14 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

I think ‘Hey! Hey!’ is more like the bit of nard stuck to the side of the bowl. Whilst not as bad as, say, ‘The Footy Show,’ you assume it would’ve disappeared with the last full flush, only to find it still there.

14 04 2010
Simon

Hey Hey is a skidmark on the underpants of humanity.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Gold Simon!

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

nard stuck to the side of the bowl

Hilarious!

14 04 2010
Sideshow

I dont think Daryl had anything to do with the resurrection, more the doing of the nein execs, they have an over supply of Mother, holden, Lynx and Ikea etc advertisements they will play during the show to ensure the bogan is transfixed, it will be a glaring success.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

My money is on Daryl begging for this opportunity for some time.

God I hate him.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

hate!

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I heard he demanded the best (his former) dressing room back during the “reunion special (read: test pilot)” and Eddie wouldn’t have it. Haha.
Australian TV sucks dingoes balls.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

six day old, pustulent, fly blown, sunburnt, crusty, sh*t smeared dingo balls in a white wine reduction with fennel garni!

14 04 2010
reparty

No, Australian tv, in particular Channel Nine, sucks giant green Richard Wilkins balls. And the fact that Mr. Somers is back on the air and in a position to call a lot of shots just shows how bad things will be. Where’s my ratings box now? The ad where they knock on the door of Two and Half Men sums everything up.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Ok Reparty, lets rework this.
Giant, Green, six day old, pustulent, fly blown, sun burnt, crusty, sh*t smeared Richard Wilkins Balls with Sommers/Sheen felch sauce and a fennel garni!

(I hate fennel)

14 04 2010
Sideshow

But the rest is ok?

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Hey! I’m just talkin’ ’bout BALLS!!!

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna, you forgot to say: bout Balls for busting?

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

oh my james!
you do make me blush.

you must tinker with everything!

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
give me half a chance!

14 04 2010
Pete

While we’re on balls jokes, the first minute of this is pretty funny:

14 04 2010
Bogan Killer

The thing about the whole ‘blackfaces’ incident was it showed that niether bogans or our bogan targetting media knew anything about the civil rights movement, what it meant, or why Harry Connick Jnr found it offensive.

14 04 2010
Brimstone

all Americans found it offensive. Aussies are just fine with casual racism

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Not Aussies, Brimstone. Bogans.

14 04 2010
Brimstone

i had non-bogan friends defending this

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Defending the skit or the show? If it’s the latter then they are not non-bogans…
If it’s the former, was the argument that the men starring in the skit were all actually coloured men of varying races (who happened to be doctors), therefore they have a little more creative freedom, then I can see that.
Of course, I didn’t watch the show – but when I heard that when they’d performed it 20 years ago with all black faces and that Michael had a white face this time I thought that was funny.
If there was a movie made of Michael Jackson’s life, would it not be the same?

14 04 2010
Shirley M

I think it was more the black and white minstrel style that was considered offensive.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

ah yes… well lucky the Americans got mad at us. I mean, they’ve learnt from their mistakes.
They wouldn’t have left millions of their own people (who happened to be poor and black) dying after a natural disaster in their own country in recent years…

14 04 2010
Shirley M

The issue isn’t even the skit itself. It’s the fact that the producers were of the opinion that it was absolutely fine to go to air. They should have known better.

14 04 2010
Mick

The producers should have known better?

They make this pigs vomit yet you still think they have some sort of judgemental ability?

You really do look for the best in people don’t you?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

roger.
the whole damn thing was pig ignorant from conception to abortion by all parties involved.
staggered that this went through so many hands before it got turned into microwaves. not one went “…aah guys?”.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

I do look for the best in people. It’s my only flaw. ;)

Long ago I abandoned the hope of quality programming from commercial TV, but surely non vilifying programming is not too much to ask for?

14 04 2010
Brimstone

They defended the skit. It was blackface and horribly racist. The end

14 04 2010
Will S

What do fellow TBL-ers think of the other controversy about that KFC ad? For me the blackface on Hey Hey was unacceptable, i mean, they could have just done it without the make up. On the other hand, the ameri-rage over that KFC ad was a bit cultural imperialist, I mean, people from the West Indies aren’t the same as African Americans are they?

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

No, we have never enslaved them!

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

Hear hear AlyssaKT,

I believe that the over-reaction by a lot of Americans was in fact due to their deep inherent racism, and thus knee jerk PC cover up reaction.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

totally agree cbf. the “no they were bogans” comment was in reply to BS 10:46 dont know how it got there.
I truly beleive that they knew all along but decided to air it anyway. The old saying that any publicity is good publicity rings true here.
p.s how come i cant reply to your post that addressed myself.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

not sure what happens with the posts.
I think it’s clockwork…

an valid point BTW.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Hi Sideshow
It does get tricky. Sometimes the reply buttons disappear (perhaps because the length of thread is limited?) and you have to follow up to the previous post and reply to that.
Be careful, that is not necessarily the one directly above.
If multiple people reply to one post (and not to each other) the comments will be staggered and appear to be “all over the shop”, dropping some comments to 30 posts away from what they replied to!

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

I think you are correct there sideshow, it has to have been deliberate marketing decision, knowing full well the outrage it would create with reactionary PC small l liberals.. and thus great merriment and indignant self righteousness (in their right to be racist or mock any non bogan) of the Bogan hoardes.

There is no other explaination.

14 04 2010
pinky has a brain

The over-reaction by the American’s was typical, I was afraid that they would say we have weapons of mass destruction hidden and they would invade us for our oil.

Stupid stupid

14 04 2010
Sam

I was in Barbados a couple of years ago. They don’t have a McDonalds there because it went broke back in the 90’s. The only fast food you can get there is KFC and Cheffette (local KFC – a lot better too).

In the US it is a bad stereotype that black people in the US eat nothin’ but friiiiiied chikin. The US commentators (on this issue) then decided that it was also a bad stereotype that black people from the West Indies eat nothin’ but fried chicken. Based on this extrapolation, these commentators are implying that they believe that black people are all the same regardless of country or culture. Therefore these US commentators are the racists on this issue.

14 04 2010
Sam

I forgot to add, the Mcdonalds went broke because the locals didn’t want to know about it, the only take away that the vast majority of the island wanted was Fried Chicken.

Google it.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

AlyssaKT’Americans are incapable of learning from their mistakes.
look at their military interventions since vietnam?
normally if what your doing doesnt work you stop and try something different, but not the septics.

14 04 2010
Brimstone

No, it’s BLACKFACE, it went out in the 30s and it’s racist
Australia’s casual racism everywhere is sickening. this just brought it to light

14 04 2010
Brimstone

and don’t call us ‘septics’, you convict

14 04 2010
Sam

Your statement “Australia’s casual racism everywhere is sickening” is itself a racist statement. You are implying that the majority of Australians are racist. This is a derogatory and insensitive remark. Australians cannot be labelled racist simply because they are Australian. You are as bad as the people you are trying to deride.

You are a bigot.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

No they were BOGANS

14 04 2010
martin

Theres nuthin else on. Better than watchin some snotty libtard tryin ta win Australian Idol.

Hopefully theyll have that great aussie joke bit and that poof who talks about music. Wunder wot barnesys doin.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

Hi everyone sorry to post before saying hello, love the blog I read it every night at work, this is the first time I have stayed up long enough to be involved.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

Yeah I hate god for giving Daryl lungs.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

further proof, in fact, of the non existance of god.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

As if we needed any.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. … more.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

the pope?

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

the pope is also further proof of the non existence of god

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna, Thanks, now that we agree on the pope, then the skys the limit?

14 04 2010
Kate

If there is a god, then why does the Pope need to travel around in a popemobile shielded by bulletproof glass?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

it’s complex…

14 04 2010
Mick

Bogans

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Maybe because god would like to get even ?

14 04 2010
Sam

that is because there are multiple gods

14 04 2010
Sten

Truly, Channel 9 would have to be the most Bogan of TV channels in Australia. But what I wish is that they’d put that other lumbering dinosaur of Australian TV to sleep… namely Australia’s “Funniest” Home Videos. Truly, only a Bogan could love a show which half the time is not even Australian and the other half, is just not funny. Still, I guess it’s relatively cheap for Nein to make… reality TV before there was reality TV, as it were. No wonder the Bogues love it.

Fuck this, back to ABC/SBS for me.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I move at the speed of light towards the remote control whenever that “Funniest” Home Videos show appears on my TV. AughhhhH!!!!

14 04 2010
Sten

Fortunately, I’m almost invariable bound for the Pub (yes, with Bogans) or other entertainments by that time on Saturday evening.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I’m actually considering going to the pub tonight to watch the boxing in preference to being home for this!! Hahaha

14 04 2010
Sten

I go to the Pub on a Wednesday night anyway, AlyssaKT – it breaks the dreary work week up nicely, plus there’s live music – admittedly not the greatest live music (it is only Wednesday night after all), but my local makes more of an effort to support local artists than all the other pubs in my area combined.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

we’re going out with the kids to graf up a police station.
we thought it would be a better lesson in civics.

14 04 2010
Jo

stay in! wednesday night ABC is pretty good

14 04 2010
Simon

Spicks and Specks night starring the babelicious Myf.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

I only wish it started at 7.30.

I’m afraid to have the TV on tonight, even to watch a DVD, lest the toxic stupidity of Somers & Co seep out and kill brain cells.

14 04 2010
toony

Myf…… Yep.

14 04 2010
Brimstone

Spicks and Specks, Burn Notice… Lost should be on at a proper time

15 04 2010
Shreiking Wombat

Mylf.

15 04 2010
AlyssaKT

That spelling doesn’t work. Unless you were intending it to be:

Mum You’d Love to Fuck?

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
just noticed this comment and I must concur, the bodacious Muff Wharhurst is right up there with Nigella Lawson as the thinking mans pin up.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I just need to be out until 9:30 (I’ll record Hungry Beast if I remember). My flatmate will be wanting to watch Hey Hey it’s Ridiculous after hanging out with other bogans all day.

14 04 2010
Will S
14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What’s most likely to be the absolute pinnacle of bogan enjoyment on the show? I’m calling this one early people – Daryl’s guest appearance on the drums.

Watching his idiot grin and mad head bob as he plays the only beat he knows reminds the bogan of their Chrisco provided Christmas when they get grandma out of the nursing home for the day, despite her senility and well entrenched Parkinson’s…

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh the horror!
I dont think I can do this…
this is worse than *n*l!

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Yes chubby, yes it is. :-(

14 04 2010
Will S

Hey now, let’s not say things we can’t take back

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Ha ha! Meg White is a better drummer than our Daryl.

Another highlight will be the weekly musings of ‘who IS in Plucka’s suit?’. A fun game for the whole family.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Rick Allen is a better drummer than “our” *shudder* Daryl. And that’s while he was semi-comatose in the field, blood dripping from the stump where his left arm used to be…

14 04 2010
Sten

Ho ho ho… not even five minutes later, and someone’s made the gratuitous Def Leppard joke.

Damn it, it’s still funny though.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

reductio ad leppard

14 04 2010
Robbie

doesn’t grandma have her own wing in your ancestral manse??

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. As if I was talking about MY family. We just leave grandma in the home.

14 04 2010
Robbie

Does she/ you own the home?? “The Grandma of Toorak Gardens Estate”
LOL…or “GOT’s Retirement Village”

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I live in the ancestral manse, of course.

14 04 2010
Michael

But Hey Hey It’s Satwednesday is all about being australian and appreciating our laid back, comdedic skill, and freedom of speech! Well if you don’t like it, you can garn git fuckt. Stupid bloody wogchinknigjewfaggotcunt cunts!

Is that how I proclaim my australian pride (apart from getting mad ink)?

14 04 2010
Robbie

..and make sure you’re wearing your wife beater when you’re yelling your xenophobic bile

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

‘scuse my ignorance but what is a “wife beater” ?

Michael, excellent execution not to mention elocution al la bogan … however to truly pull it off you really do have to get the mad ink (Southern Cross on the neck preferably) to go with the rant I’m afraid, it seems it is De rigueur.

14 04 2010
Sten

On the neck? I dunno… seems to be a bit of a fem-Bogue thing, N_S_M. I mean, why would the Bogue go to all that effort (at the gym) and expense (the ‘roids) and *not* get the Aussie Swazzie inked on his huge guns?

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

No reason why you can’t have more than one ;)

The neck one is to ensure it is ALWAYS visible, even when wearing a shirt ( a rare occurence it’s true)

14 04 2010
Robbie

what is a wife beater???!!! *glass*

flickr.com/photos/57794886@N00/353777746

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

Oh… a singlet… roight!

14 04 2010
SD

“There are few things that the bogan likes more than something it used to like.”

That explains why Bert Newton is around and hosting that rehash of things past, 20 to 1.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

another minor celebrity vehicle.
how much do they get each paid for their little opinions on warnie or the butter scene from last tango?

14 04 2010
SD

I have wondered too, chubby! Also thought deeply about the likelihood that it is Bert’s wax model hosting.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

They can do amazing things with a wax model and cgi now!

14 04 2010
SD

Edna thanks, mystery solved!

14 04 2010
Sten

Yeah… far better than those old Joyce Mayne ads!

14 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

“They can do amazing things with a wax model and cgi now!”
So why, then, is there any need to keep Richard Wilkins on the air? On second thoughts, maybe he *is* a wax model…

Our current best guess is that he’s made from some sort of carbon fibre, making him as lightweight as his celeb interviews. TBL

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

mmhmm
…amazing things.

15 04 2010
KLFH

Saw Dickie at the races on saturday. His acne scars were very visible – the Today show make up team do a good job.

14 04 2010
Brimstone

weirdly, hipsters are also obsessesed with nostalgia

14 04 2010
Sideshow

younger and perkier Livinia Nixon, She joins cast favourites John Blackman, Wilbur Wilde, Russell Gilbert and Red Symons, so all the greats will be back

“She is quite happy not to be famous,” an insider revealed. “She rather enjoys not having to fuss with her looks.” At least Macdonald has some sort of self worth. Sorry c&p from todays tele

14 04 2010
Sideshow

I think it is An*l just with a pipe and barbed wire involved.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

A very cold *shudder*

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I think you need to learn how to use the REPLY feature!

14 04 2010
Sideshow

I think I just did thanks Fiona.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Finally.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

I know i just went back through the thread painful to read and no im not cm

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I suspect you are. You’re like him, just (marginally) more literate.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

From what I have been reading in your previous posts I will take that as a compliment. Except for the part that you suspect that I am cm.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
unlike you and I ?

14 04 2010
amr

It’s pretty simple.
I stopped watching channel two and a half a long time ago.
I can’t name one thing worth watching on it. Haven’t for years.
Though when they bring out a CSI Adelaide I might change my mind.

14 04 2010
Mick

Lots of episodes about glassings in Lizbeff?

14 04 2010
Sideshow

Mick its more maxxxxxtreme than that they have bodies in barrels

14 04 2010
Peter

I really respect Harry Connick Jnr’s opinion . . he is such a great talent and humanitarian..it’s a pity he has to travel all the way to Australia to get full recognition just like the great Don Lane before him.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I never understood why Don Lane stayed here so long. I know for a fact that glass coffee tables can be bought in the US.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

They were smart enough to get rid of him.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

And the unpleasentness

14 04 2010
Peter

err..

14 04 2010
Sideshow

Please forgive shouldnt talk ill about the recently departed

14 04 2010
Peter

That junior suffix cracks me up every time.

14 04 2010
Nelson Esq

“The Castle” once again got it spot on for bogans when Steven Curry’s character narrates “Dad’s favourite TV show is Hey Hey It’s Saturday, followed by “The Best of Hey Hey It’s Saturday.”

For the next TBL topic, just watch The Castle and take a pick…buying bargains from the Trading Post? or should we update that to buying bargains on eBay?

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I enjoyed “The Castle”, I must admit. It was my first real glimpse into the lives of the lesser people.

Plus, they returned my gates when filming was complete.

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

Hey Hey it’s Brain Dead! I cannot believe they are reviving this garbage..

But then I cannot believe the “Footy Show” exists either shows like…. So You Think You can Dance and Cook and Manipulate your way into winning $100K Ya stupid CHUNT… or copycat shows.

But really, I can’t believe that intelligent people are still watching commercial TV to care what drivel they dish up.

Thank God for SBS and good old Aunty… and of course DVD’s not to mention evenings spent in conversation with your significant other over a bottle of fine vino, or playing games. or interacting with clever clogs on Blogs and Forums etc etc etc.

Commercial Free to air TV is a dead medium to all but the lowest common denominator, it’s no surprise that they are now so desperate to hang on to the losers that do watch that they are serving up such utter crud.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

As somebody posted in an earlier blog Marketing has alot (hahaha) to answer for

14 04 2010
Nelson Esq

Couldn’t agree with you more, N_S_Mummy. We have been turning off the TV more and more at night now, though there has been some great shows on ABC & SBS recently, such as ‘The Human Journey’. I rather liked ‘Rivers’ with Griff Rhys-Jones recently as well.

The Scabble board is getting a good work out at our place lately…and my red wine consumption is up…

As Pink Floyd once sang “…I got 64 channels of shit on the TV to choose from…” And that is what the digital TV ‘revolution’ has brought us; more channels of shit. In fact it seems to be a devolution not revolution, as Chennel Nein’s Go seems to play old repeats of The Nanny, Hogans Heroes, Seinfeld and Frasier.

If the HHIS reunion specials are anything to go by, all the new episodes are going to do is just regurgitate the same old jokes / segments etc that were done in the 1980’s and 90’s. If Ch 9 is so hell bent on giving us HHIS, they should have save themselves a small fortune in production costs and just put on repeats, rather than making new ones!

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

Yes it’s amazing isn’t it, since Cheeeenel Nein lost the top spot to Seven they have slid even further into the abyss of Boganess than previously.. I wouldn’t have thought it possible! One thing about HHIS is it would be very inexpensive to make I am sure.. I doubt old Dazza can command big bucks these days, and the rest of the pack of losers would be grateful for any crumbs I am sure.

The ABC shows you mentioned looked great, but I always seem to miss them – thankfully they are available on DVD, we are finding we purchase quality TV shows on DVD more and more now, barely switching the box on… except Wednesday nights ABC1 which is almost getting to Snoooze fest stage, but we still watch…. For now.

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

This is where that IQ2 thingy has won my everlasting respect. You can record all sorts of blah that you’re actually interested in which comes on at unfortunate times of the day/night, then view at your pleasure. And if you’ve recorded a commercial channel you have the joy of speeding though the ads at warp speed.

But it does bring me to the point of those nasty little commercial channels and their bogue-ish ‘news’. Did anyone spot the drama over the cameraman baiting some poor unfortunates leaving court. They got the required reaction for that night’s ‘news’ by calling the poor bastard ‘a fucking terrorist’ – after being asked 25 (yup, 25) times to ‘please leave us alone.’

Ch 9 have fired the camera bloke, but I call bullshit. My bet is that that is exactly what the news directors etc ask them to do on a nightly basis so they can get their dose of confected outrage on the telly.

And why? Because that’s all the bogue understands and wants. Outrage. Combat. Something else to vilify. The rest of us pay the price for these muppets’ kidult tastes.

Sick a the bastards I am.

14 04 2010
Brimstone

Hey Hey You’re Racists

14 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Total agree NSM, we should glass the counts (with a silent o) running commercial networks. Of course is does give the various miscreants of the LOIG world something to do rather than wrecking hotel rooms, assualting women, and fulfilling my own belief that the NRL has the lowest average IQ of any sport in the country.

Wonder if Darrryyyllll will glass the Ostrich, now that would get the bogans excited.

14 04 2010
Mezz

Please – stating the obvious here.. Underbelly – The Yalla Mile started on the weekend and was the *top rating* programme for prime time Sunday evening. It’s not even about aussie fta tv being crap – they are cleverly catering to the majority here and that reality is far scarier.

14 04 2010
Kate

I just don’t get why they are gloryfying organised crime.

14 04 2010
Mick

Bogans always like seeing their families getting somewhere in this world

14 04 2010
toony

I’ve not seen the series…til last weekend. I lasted 4-5 minutes before the cringe set in. The acting, direction, all of it is pants.
I should have given it longer, but I think I know what the outcome would’ve been.

19 04 2010
Natlee

N_S_M, am curious to see that you use the word ‘chunts’. My friends and I also say this, and I’ve never heard anyone else use it. But I have been living out of the country for a while, so maybe it’s normal. Or maybe you’re one of my friends.

14 04 2010
Somewhat Bogan

Aparently it was a big hit in the 80s but since I was too young to recall the 80s I only remember the last decade of avoiding channel 9 on saturday nights.

Lets not forget about “Funniest home videos” and “The footy show”. All that tripe is still running strong so as much as I’d like to dream of hey hey being axed (for the 3rd time) I don’t think it’ll be going anywhere for a while. They’ve even realeased a second footy related crapfest ‘the matty johns show’, I can hardly wait for that one.

This is why I rarely watch TV..

14 04 2010
Sideshow

When I was growing up, it was on saturday mornings which used to suck probably why i got involved in sport at a young age.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

There is some irony in orange people doing Red Faces.
Will bogans be r-enacting scenes from Underbelly?
Maybe a skit on hunting boat people?
Darling little boguettes in Borat thongs doing Lady Ga Ga lip sync?

I bet Proactive is a sponsor of the show.
Every ad break the bogue chumps are watching the celebrity chumps lie about how damn great that sh*t is, and just wanting so desperately to believe it.

.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

*re-enacting

14 04 2010
SD

“There is some irony in orange people doing Red Faces”

To borrow from Fi, LOL

14 04 2010
pb

your red faces suggestions are too horrifying to even contemplate. the revival of hey hey may be the nadir of australian television.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

I can’t see any real difference between Red Faces and Australia’s Got Talent, to be honest. Except for the running time and the gong.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

*snort’o’coffee out the nose*

Ha!

Was that the thing on last night? I glimpsed about 10 seconds of some earnest large person wailing like a banshee.

T’was horrid.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

A.G.T. is a class A prohibited substance in my home, so I can’t help you there.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Totally pb!

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Never thought I’d say this, but from next week onwards, I wish the Matty Johns show could be brought forward by 24hrs.

Then you’d have Hey Hey It’s A Bucket’o’Shite vs MasterCrap vs the Matty John Self-Indulgence Revival – a head-to-head, bare-knuckled, maXXXXXtreme boguefest.

Right on the dot of 7.30pm, bogans across the nation would implode. Oh, the agony of choice! Which fresh cut of nourishing entertainment goodness to watch live, which to record?

Hey, it’s not much of a dream. But today, this day, this darkest of days, it’s all I have.

14 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

ROFLMAO @ Tombarina

14 04 2010
pb

if i may continue your dream, tombarina – maybe they’ll all steal each others’ ratings and the tasteless money grubbers who run the commercial networks will cancel them all due to poor ratings.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

I love you. PB. Very much.
Thank you for giving me hope.

14 04 2010
pb

maybe, if we all together just believe that this will happen (a la the secret) it’ll come true. or maybe we all need to band together and stage a coup of commercial television networks?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

is there at least some legal process?
can we launch a plebiscite or something?

14 04 2010
pb

we need the swiss system where anyone can bring a referendum as long as they get enough signatures on a petition. of course, that may leave us open to some bogues staging a referendum to change our national anthem to khe sanh, but at least we could try and get rid of these crap shows from our airwaves.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

You underestimate the numbers of our enemy, pb. We are Greece, they are Persia.

14 04 2010
pb

sadly i think you’re right. but surely our combined brainpower can come up with something?

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Nothing non violent.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Who has these “ratings boxes” anyway? Has anyone here ever been asked to have one in their home?? The root of the problem is unaccurate ratings!

14 04 2010
Tombarina

AKT, judging by the loathsome dross which spills from yon plasma, ratings box ownership is dominated by Messrs Maguire, Somers, Grimshaw, Wilkins, Stokes, Gatto, Ibrahim, Koch, Sandilands, Goodrem, et al.

There’s no other possible explanation.

14 04 2010
Sten

It’s all a fiendish plot to part Bogues from their hard-borrowed. Rather than assess the “merits” of each show and make a decision, the Bogue goes for maxXximum sensory stimulation and attempts to watch all three shows simultaneously! And how, my friends, will he accomplish this?

By buying more massive plasma screens, of course! Damn those fiendish TV execs and electronics manufacturers! How ever will the Bogue get out of debt now?

14 04 2010
Brimstone

“In the Red Faces segment of the show, the bogan applauded a Jackson 5 “blackface” skit, and Harry Connick Jr did not. The bogan later learned that it was something to do with history or slavery, and bellowed that political correctness had indeed gone mad. The debate died a natural death within a week or so, and the “reunion special” was soon forgotten. ”

It’s died a natural death for Australians. For Americans and ex-pat Americans the fact that this show is still on makes you look like racist rednecks.

Sorry, but it’s true. After a racist stunt like that blackface thing you should have ended the show. It’s amazing how ignorant you guys are

I daresay you’re preaching to the converted, Brimstone. TBL

14 04 2010
Sideshow

Please BS spread the word, point them to this site. Maybe some of the intelligent Americans will realise that it is the bogans fault and not tar all Aussies with the same brush.
However taking racist advice from a country that enslaved a whole race well….

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Erm – Tasmania…

14 04 2010
Peter of Kensington

‘Blackface’ does not have the same racists connotations in this country as it does in the US. Insensitive and stupid; yes. Racist; no.

Who would have thought an ‘American’ would try to force their cultural norms onto another country?

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

I agree Peter of Kensington… although I like to think we all do know it is highly inappropriate, and could be taken as very offensive, it just doesn’t have the same effect to make us see red as it apparently does to the rest of the world.

The last time I saw Blackface would have been in the 1970’s on some dire and very unfunny British comedy show televised on our National broadcaster (as we were not allowed to watch anything else as kids) As recent as that in the commonwealth countries Blackface was still being performed, but even as a kid back then it was incredibly unfunny and had actually made the performers look like total NobHeads.

As I said previously, I believe the over reaction to it is due to the actual inherent racism in the USA, and the knee jerk PC reaction to cover that same racism up.

If I dress as a Belly Dancer at a fancy dreass party does that make me Racist?

14 04 2010
pb

it doesn’t have the same history here, no, but ignorance is not a sufficient excuse. i think the performers and producers etc were ridiculously insensitive and ignorant in allowing the black faces skit. i don’t think they intended any racism but it was racist nonetheless. ignorant racism rather than malicious racism, but still racism.

15 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

get past it

14 04 2010
Brimstone

I wonder, TBL…..

14 04 2010
Brimstone

why isn’t LOST more popular here? its kinda off topic but it’s been bugging me all year. hugely popular in America but the final season is airing at 11:30 or 12:30 on Wednesday nights here. I DON’T GET IT

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

We’ve discussed this before in other threads… Because the programming geniuses on free to air TV aren’t worth a cent. (Or there is a conspiracy between free TV and pay TV.)
It’s frustrating and has led us to resorting to online and DVDs.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

Conspiracy theories another Tbl post maybe, along with the end of year footy/ cricket (insert sport here) trip.

14 04 2010
Brimstone

yeah but if it was popular in the first place they’d have to move it to an earlier timeslot

my puny American brain is having trouble comprehending different tastes between the countries

we should take over your airwaves for your own good. we’ll let you keep the healthcare and gun laws… just replace all your crap TV our our TV

Every day I wish this would happen…

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Nooooooo. Your TV is mostly crap too.

14 04 2010
Brimstone

Adult Swim? Comedy Central? Sci-Fi/Sy-Fy Channel? 30 Rock? Parks and Recreation? American Office?

i suspect that all you ‘non-bogans’ are still bogan/backward/redneck by American standards and you’re just ashamed of the fact

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Frisky Dingo.
television was invented so frisky dingo could be dreated.
in america.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

*created.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

grok

14 04 2010
Shirley M

American Office? You’re not serious are you? And 30 Rock?

In my estimation, more television shows are made in the US per year than Australia and the UK combined. The amount of these that are worth viewing would be less than those worth viewing from either Australia or the UK. Does that make sense?

So yes. Hey hey is shit. But there are some very fine programs made in this country, primarily by the ABC. And UK television by and large, defeats us both.

P.S. Your closing statement is a desperate cry than in no way resembles the truth.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Where does “A Country Practice” sit in the Pantheon of fine Australian programming?

14 04 2010
Shirley M

At the apex of the soap opera/drama pile. Actually, it’s the only Australian soap opera with any merit.

How long am I going to get shit for loving ACP for?

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. For 2 more years. That’s when the world ends, right?

14 04 2010
Shirley M

I can take it.

Considering I’m only up to season 2 in my reviewing, I’ll probably still be watching in 2 years. I hope I get to see Molly die again before the end of the world.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’d be happy to just see her die.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Hahaha – yes, indeed. However, it was good in its day. The day may have been too long and not compared to anything decent, but it was still very watchable in its time.
Growing up I wanted to be a vet because of Kathy. Or flying trapeze artist (must have been to a circus!). Either or.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

It still is good. It still is watchable. Dr Bowen is the bees f*cking knees.

The acting…. atrocious (by todays standards). And the men wore their ties too high. Simon even wore one that was sans point at the end.

14 04 2010
Simon

I’m often sans point Shirl, but with your help I get by.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Oh Simon. That is both true, and flattering. ;)

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Fox News. Makes TT/ACA seem like top notch investigative journalism by comparison.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
when i read this comment of yours I cant help but ask everyone to stasrt glassing septics as well as bogans.
begone from our shores

14 04 2010
pb

i’m with you on lost. i don’t have digital tv so have to wait for the really late screenings and get all the classy after midnight ads that go along with it.

14 04 2010
SD

Those after midnight ads are a bogans post of their own.

14 04 2010
SD

Esp Dodo

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Because Lost lost the plot about 4 seasons ago and people here got sick of being played for suckas, yo!

14 04 2010
Brimstone

sure, it’s confusing, but i’m trying to understand why Americans love it and Aussies don’t care….
maybe it’s too serious for your laidback, kinda stupid nation?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

laidback, kinda stupid nation
lol
maybe it’s too serious

rofl

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Intelligent Design in Schools.

Case closed. Glass houses, stones and all that.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Lost is serious stuff? Polar Bears on tropical islands, mysterious black clouds of smoke that seem to see, various other monsters? All to be explained later by a machine that MOVES the island. Oh yeah, it’s like serious as, mate!
There are many mysteries surrounding the decisions made by the networks’ programmers. They did the same thing to many decent shows (that bogans would have watched, had they promoted them to the same extent and slotted into a reasonable timeslot) in preference to the dribble they chose to promote and screen prime time. Alas, they are dick heads.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

ps. that was black clouds of smoke that seemed to actually see the people looking at them.

15 04 2010
Brimstone

yeah but the characters and the viewers take those things seriously
Australians can’t seem to make that imaginative leap

15 04 2010
Brimstone

and i think the Smoke Monster is now taking the form of Locke

14 04 2010
Fourth Earl of Plymouth

Hola, Brimstone!

Let us cast our unworthy eyes upon but a small sample of the many jewels US TV has given us.

* Girls of the Playboy Mansion
* BJ and the Bear (Our hero is a “professional freelance trucker”. His offsider is a chimp named Bear. Their nemesis is the evil sheriff Elroy P. Lobo. Confronting stuff.)
* Joey
* Harry and the Hendersons
* Baywatch Nights (in which The Hoff gains a gun and a PI’s licence…)
* According to Jim (The not-dead, lesser Belushi.)
* Everybody Loves Raymond (an overstatement/miscount, I assure you)

I could go on, Brimstone, but I’m too kinda stupid to be arsed.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Well said, m’lud!

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

LOL I love you.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I found girls of the playboy mansion to be derivative. To be a family orientated show, they showed a lot of devastation and heartache. This show was show about morals and ethics but some of the characters could take some lessons in both.pipe-smoking, professorial thinker (who, rather than talking literature, … As the nude siblings beg George to “come to the Jacuzzi with [them],” the song … election returns on several televisions placed strategically throughout the house, … uniquely fascinating woman of hybrid mythic-urbane sensibilities, … claimed that product literature (with False claims) was being …. at gun point when he wasn’t home, terrorizing a woman staying at the house. …. 250 chiropractic fasting geriatric prevention gerontology weightloss arcadi l. … extention rhgh humatropoe saizen smoke releaser secretagogues hormones. Pipe smoking gave way to the use of tobacco as snuff and, in turn, ….. smoking and cancer mortality: risk in Japanese men and women
smoking a pipe with his friend Andy and when they get sent back upstairs … She was the richest woman in town, lived in the biggest house and had the biggest mouth. …Another time that Charles has to leave to look for a job, he meets an Irish guy looking for a job also and they become traveling buddies. They end up getting a job working with explosions. As the Irish guy is joking with Charles atop a small mountain an explosion goes off killing him. Charles then has to return to his dead friends home and tell his ten year old son and his mother that their father and husband got blown to bits.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Chubster, lay off the weed.

14 04 2010
Simon

It’s coz Lost is Stoopid.

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

“why isn’t LOST more popular here? its kinda off topic but it’s been bugging me all year.”

It falls into the category where it doesn’t appeal to your bogan as it might make them think, and yet it is not interesting or clever enough to engage the more sophisticated viewer…

Or… Maybe because it is more American Shit that most people with a brain have had enough of.

“Adult Swim? Comedy Central? Sci-Fi/Sy-Fy Channel? 30 Rock? Parks and Recreation? American Office?

i suspect that all you ‘non-bogans’ are still bogan/backward/redneck by American standards and you’re just ashamed of the fact”

Oh Fark me.. that’s the best you can come up with.

American Office is a remake of a brilliant British show.. that most intellegent Australian viewers watched years ago, and would rather eat razors than view the pathetic drivel that is the “American” version. (Same goes for your pathetic remake of any show you get your hands on btw) Some Comedy just doesn’t travel well.

30 Rock is dire vehicle for a sad sack old Alec Baldwin to strut his misogynistic stuff.. to a bunch of vile bimbo plastic wannabee women.. urgh I would rather be glassed by some Chunt!!!

Sci Fi – I assume you are talking about shows like Stargate, Stargate Atlantis et al.. They are OK on DVD, would never watch them on TV anyway, a little goes a very long way.. give me DrWho any day!

Parks and Recreation.. dunno what that is, but if they are documentaries, then American Documentaries are my least fave in the world. I love documentaries, but not American ones… exception being Yellowstone, that was not too bad.

Comedy Central.. utter shyte.

I suspect you are fishing with your last comments…. (I mean American Standards has to be an oxymoron)

but…
Please don’t bother sending any more of your high quality TV stuff our way, because we just can’t appreciate it due to being so very redneck backwards and bogan.

15 04 2010
Brimstone

Parks and Rec is an office style comedy
Sci-Fi (now SyFy) is the network that shows stuff like the Battlestar Galactica remake
“30 Rock is dire vehicle for a sad sack old Alec Baldwin to strut his misogynistic stuff.. to a bunch of vile bimbo plastic wannabee women.. urgh I would rather be glassed by some Chunt!!!”

Tina Fey is a bimbo?

and Comedy Central – i’m talking stuff like like The Daily Show and the Colbert Report

you guys are really too dumb to get American humor

15 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Memo.
Re: Cultural Differences.

ibid:
14/04/2010
Edna Focke-Witte (17:46:53) :

“belligerent”.

edna
etc.

15 04 2010
Shirley M

May I offer you some advice, Brimstone? We Australians have a stereotype of Americans just as Americans have a stereotype of us. I personally don’t subscribe to stereotyping as a rule, but if you are going to make comments such as ‘you guys are really too dumb to get American humour’, I am going to have to make an exception to that rule.

15 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I cheered for you then Shirley. But in between reading it in my Hotmail and arriving here I decided you’re best not to lower yourself to that level.
I read his/her fishing comment and bit my tongue. So hard to do!

15 04 2010
Shirley M

Not even I am above a good well deserved cheer. I’ll pass on the mexican wave though. Thanks anyway. :)

15 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Haha! I love the Mexican Wave! Once at the Ekka (the last time I was there, 17 years ago) the wave was started by the commentator and, instead of going in dribs and drabs (and various sections predictably disappointing others), it went a whole 12 times after the intended three – before we finally succombed en masse to the commentator’s pleading for us to stop. That was – obviously – back when I could enjoy bogans!

15 04 2010
HeWhoisaSnob

Both the Daily Show and Colbert Report are screened on ABC2……

14 04 2010
common man

i think most have missed the point,hey hey its yesterday is used by the nabs to babysit their pre-buxoms while they run to their litellary powder rooms to get pumped for their fav bi/try show queer as folk

14 04 2010
Tombarina

To quote Manuel….”ke?”

14 04 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

I think you will find it’s ‘que’.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

¿que?

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina
“Che” is the spanish spelling for “what”
pronounced as ke or kay to our ears. or kah more closely
My wifes name is Kay so I love Manuel being hounded by Basil

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Tracy & James, I humbly and graciously stand corrected, and plead guilty to extreme laziness.

Yet, my intense puzzlement as to whatever the hell CM was posting above remains.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

a vaguely pornographic allusion to bogues liking queer as folk.
best I can tell.
still baffling.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I liked Queer as Folk and I’m certain no bogues were watching. What CM may have meant was Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (which femme bogues would have lappped up – “if only they’d fix up my husband/house!”) and instead he divulged his personal homoerotic temptations…

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
confused by what common man may have ment?
well so are we all.
Especially common man !
if any one can figure out what he ment please let him know. It may help put his tortured mind to rest.

14 04 2010
common man

sheez most nabs love their powders (pumped) cocaine an fem bogues admit to being bi or tried anything once twice if they liked it

14 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

But then Manuel was from Barcelona… they speak Catalan, anyway.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Not necessarily – I personally know at least one exception. Looks like both Spanish and Catalan are widely spoken there.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

please tbl

14 04 2010
Sideshow

thank-you

14 04 2010
Jason

Ok agree on this post (as I do most TBL things)

But please do not have a go at Anti-Bogan Ambassador Shaun Micallef. Yes, he is on Channel 10 in a bogan pleasing show, but it’s only because his previous formats were too surreal and cerebral to appeal to the average bogan punter. (Micallef Programm, Newstopia, Micallef Tonight etc)

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

I used to love Shaun Micallef… seriously, he was a NSMummys pin up boy…

He’s dead to me now :'(

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Go easy on Shaun. He’s got to make a living, you know. The generation show may be crap, but Shaun’s trademark humour lives on (watered down somewhat, admittedly).

14 04 2010
Tone

I wonder if Shaun ever has any Andy Milman moments. In his current incarnation, all Shaun’s doing is putting on a silly wig and saying ‘Are you having a laugh?’ to extract laughs from the lowest common denominator.

A criminal waste of some of Australia’s finest comedic talent, but being genuinely witty doesn’t pay the bills I guess.

14 04 2010
Mezz

Next he’ll be on celebrity big brothel!

14 04 2010
Brimstone

yeah, Shaun is genius

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

I know, I know, I do still love him, he’s still be welcome to park his shoes under my bed, but only just.

I am sad that I will never be able to see his dry wit again… until that is, he comes to his senses and or makes sufficient cash to walk away from this ghastly episode of his life back to where he belongs.

And the idea of having to share him with every ShaZZa who thinks he’s kinda hot for an old bloke makes me want to puke.

Fortunately my real life Husband is very like him.. so the fantasy lives on….in my mind anyway

14 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

Well, if Shaun Micallef wants to make a living, he has a background in law to fall back on!

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I heard it’s a maxim of the lesser people that it’s good to have a trade to fall back on.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Fiona, indeed it is so said though in your case it may read that it is a good thing to have a tradie to fall back on ??
If Simon and I are both out of town !

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. James. Just for you. *shudder*

14 04 2010
Simon

You just made his day Fi, how kind you are. I hope you are leaving for the studio soon, there is much work to be done.

14 04 2010
Sten

I weep for poor Shaun. Admittedly, my first exposure to his brilliance was on Full Frontal, but grew to really precciate his talents when he transferred them to Auntie (and presumably a more sophisticated audience). In a way, I’m happy for him in that he finally got his break, but I am also sad because his dry brilliance is lost to me, presumably forever.

Micallef Tonight… what a train-wreck of a show.

14 04 2010
pb

micallef tonight had its moments, and it was great to watch him doing all he could to get fired.

14 04 2010
Jo

I’m for Shaun, and yes he’s sort of “sold out” but good for him for making some money and being successful in his chosen profession. His spot on TBYG will hopefully show the bogan that tv hosts don’t necessarily have to be total ham & cheese sandwiches.

14 04 2010
Sten

Sorry, Jo, when did Steven Seagal come into this?

14 04 2010
Jo

I’m not following…

14 04 2010
Sten

Ham and cheese…

14 04 2010
Tone

Bogans like Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation, even though the average bogue can’t stand Shaun Micallef (‘speak fargin’ English ya yuppie caaaarnt!’). They like ‘the Irish poof’ because he has the kind of hair that is the envy of Gen Y male NaBs, and femme bogues think he’s hot.

14 04 2010
Anth

What a waste of Micallef though. He should have been born in the UK. Aussie audiences seem to enjoy parody or very obvious comedy.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Seconded. The man is a genius, in my humble opinion. Even in the full frontal/fast forward days he did some amazing stuff (“World Around Him” springs to mind).

14 04 2010
Tombarina

I will love Shaun Micallef to my dying breath for one reasons – Dr Miracle.

A hybrid of Dr Terence Elliot (big shout-out to Shirley M), Dr George Clooney and any other white-coated medical chappie, given to shouting “STAT” whenever a gap in the dialogue presents itself.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

*reason*
I’m still very upset.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I would settle for Milo Kerrigan.
almost against my will that character made me wet myself.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

figuratively speaking of course!
I didn’t actually wet myself.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
You break me up.
Knew you were a deviant but this seals the deal.
“almost” against my will ??
So you actually did wet yourself deliberately.?
can i call you “golden showers Edna” from now on ?

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Only if I may call you Suss Cat Pervert James…

Dude, you really need to get a hobby!

14 04 2010
James Hunter

does this mean we are going steady?

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

14 04 2010
Brimstone

Aussie comedy should get it’s own post
I don’t understand it at all

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

True.
But that is funny!
I’m sorry I don’t understand LOST.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
lost would be lost on you

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

What a sparkling wit James.

I’m almost LOST for words….

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
You a woman lost for words?
now Im lost for words

Mind you I have learned so much from you and AlyssaKT and Fiona, that im thinking maybe you should open an Australian distant learning school with courses in things like, “how to spot a bogan”
how to avoid bogans
How to avoid bogans who wish to befriend you
glassing bogans 1001, 1002 and for the honours students 1003
and of course for the Classics post grads, Fi could do how to avoid greeks, romans and persians.
and how to say no to anal without ofending or for the honours student, how to avoid anal while still offending.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Is it whiskey o’clock or something, James?

14 04 2010
Brimstone

Nobody understands LOST
but i’m trying to understand the cultural differences between our two countries

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I don’t need to watch or understand LOST because I saw Twin Peaks.
Re: cultural differences
You just seem such a belligerent bunch.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Awww, JH, I’m delighted to be included <3

14 04 2010
Shirley M

I don’t know where this is going to end up but I’m with you Edna. Twin Peaks. Brilliant.

There you go, Brimstone. An American program worth watching. Over and over again.

14 04 2010
Mezz

I wonder if Daryl will invite Kamahl on for an inane segment or two and use his one and only joke..

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

ugh…
pain.

14 04 2010
Sideshow

Somehow I dont think Kamahl will be back unless more publicity is required to sell that next album or book

14 04 2010
T-Mac

The Pink reference in the opening paragraph was spot on…I recall she “sent a video message” in the second special, but she clearly had no idea what the show was about…

14 04 2010
pominoz

Channel 9 are just appealing to their target demographic with the drivel they show every night. It pleases the advertisers and the Bogan who has a limited attention span. The constant adverts, banners, and cross promotions in the middle of programs do not seem to put the Bogan off his/her daily dose of ACA, and all the other crap.

If there happens to be any decent programs on the commercial channels its quickly spoilt with adverts every few minutes. No wonder Oz is one of the largest downloaders of tv programs!

14 04 2010
Kat

Sad sad day.

I am reviewing my chances of having to see this show and, having a teenager in the house, I am scared they might be high. Teenagers are naturally bogan until they grow up.

I think I might have to hide.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

my flatmate’s fairly bogan… I’ve been thinking of various things that will get me out of the house tonight…

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

hah! nail-on-head. Bogue = kidult. Why grow up when you can act like a complete chump and then scream at mum n dad (read gummermint) to rescue you yet again.
When you think about it, life must be grand when everything that’s bad that ever happens to you is always, indisputably, absolutely some one else’s fault.

‘Garn, gefucked ya carnt. I ran up yerarse cos you fuckin stopped too soon at the red light. Ya carnt. Fuck ya. ‘

14 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

I’ve just submitted my idea for a show to a certain bogan orientated television network currently not rating as well as it could.

Bogans like ice shows, big trucks, and topless women. Ergo “Topless Women Drive Big Rigs on Ice” – each week viewers get to vote one rig off or watch some zany stunt like monster rigs jumping over asylum seeker holding camps (we might have to add in an explosion or two there).

Figure they could get Fatty involved, there’s a man who would like a big rig, Natalie what’s her name from that “Prey” movie, and comments from the ever reliable Bert Newtown.

I’m expecting this to revive rating fortunes .,…

On a sidenote anyone else currently cringing at the idea of “Grand Designs” as a down under production via one of our bogan networks … it’s the end of the world…. how many McMansions can they possibly cover in a season :'(

14 04 2010
Sten

XBH, you’re damn right some explosions would be required. How else would the Bogan be able to validate it’s cherished belief that all those bloody reffos are terorists?

14 04 2010
James Hunter

XBH,
It would require a special over four nights just to do justice to Fiona’ ancestral mansion. I was about to say ancestral seat, but after all the anal things not Fi’s style.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

TBL make mention of Daryls hip replacements.
Did you know that he has had Four, one for each leg.

14 04 2010
pinky has a brain

“The bogan, when watching this, will engage in a furious contest with its comrades to be the first to point out that it is, in fact, a Wednesday night, and then chuckle at its acute powers of observation.”

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…excellent

14 04 2010
Simon

I’m just wondering if someone can post a link to this on the Hey, Hey web site or fan pages, to lure those people here would be all kinds of awesomeness, I just lack a bit of time currently. Thanking you in anticipation.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

You owe me Simon. I had to become a FAN on facebook in order to copy the link on the hey hey fan site.

Some femme bogue named ‘Shez Dunn’ is literally counting down the minutes until it airs.

Kill me now.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Actually.. kill me now:

“I’m tapeing the show 2nite, as I am going to see PAULY SHORE at the Basement in Sydney 2nite. Buuudy. lol. HEY HEY IS BACCCKKK!!!!”

14 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

It would be wrong to take a high powered rifle to a roof top with a prime view of the Basement right?

14 04 2010
Simon

No, Fi and I will be out the front glassin c*nts with Champagne bottles so you can shoot the ones we miss.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

243 with a 6X scope sounds about right?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

need a spotter?

14 04 2010
James Hunter

spotter would be good and someone to reload spare mags

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Another arse clown commenter on the page is (I think) offering his suggestion for an alternate name for the show. His offering is Hey Hey it’s Hump Day and notes that it ‘even rhymes’… what, moreso than HHIS?

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I just visited the page with the intent of having a good laugh, but I burst into tears instead. Did you see the number of fans it has?

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Isn’t it terrifying?

It would make tonight a good night to walk around the streets without fear of being glassed. We know where every bogan in the country will be.

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Call!

The streets will be safe to drive, full of courteous drivers.
Pub trivia nights free from dopes googling the answer on their phone.
KFC’s empty.
Buses empty of chumps calling Kaylene on the mobile.
The positives are endless!

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

oh?

Fiona of Toorak (15:37:50) :
LOL. Are you ugly AlyssaKT?
Reply 26
03
2010

AlyssaKT (15:42:50) :
You can find me on the Facebook TBL if you wish, Fiona.
Reply 26
03
2010

Fiona of Toorak (15:47:45) :
LOL. If I had a facebook, perhaps I would make the effort. Perhaps.
Reply

So perhaps you did. Perhaps you didn’t. But Facebook you have.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Wow, someone cares… *hugs*

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

*hugs cautiously, keeping watchful eye on champagne bottle in Fiona’s hand*

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. *Prepares to glass Alyssa the K*nT*

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Ouchie! I thought you wrote “in” then! That would be a bit rough!

Unless the unusual spelling meant something else…
Is that the name of an item from Ikea?
A foreign car model?
The new Louis Vuitton handbag?

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

haha! He must be the station’s next programming genius.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

verbatim:
“As soon as my 10 year old son’s eyes opened this morning, he said ‘Hey Hey It’s Saturday is on tonight Mum’. He must have been dreaming about the show! Can’t blame him! We’re all so excited. Can’t wait ……….. it’s geting closer & closer & closer!!”

this is blatant child abuse!
poor l’il takker hasn’t got a chance.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

staggered.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Not a single one of my friends on Facebook have commented on this post since I shared it this morning. Does this mean they are ALL bogans?
It’s often said that liking a TBL doesn’t necessarily make you a bogan – but I’d have to say that this is one that definitely does…

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I just checked it out too, Shirley. And wanted to bring more attention to your post so Liked and commented.

then I couldn’t remove myself fast enough!

Imagine if anyone discerning saw that come up on my profile page!

14 04 2010
Shirley M

I was forced to update my status informing my friends and family that I was not actually a fan.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Once you “remove yourself from fans” all evidence that you ever joined disappears – apart from the comment/post which I am happy to leave for anyone to follow if they wish ;)

Did you intend to have the link bring them 4/5 of the way through our comments to the conversation on ratings though? I imagine not many can work out how to scroll up… ;)

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Damn it!

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Rectified.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

I didn’t realise anything could be worse than the prospect of tonight’s crudfest, until I checked out the Facebook page, sighted the number of fans, and read a few of their txt-spk comments.

They really are excited about this.

Perhaps, via the FB page, special viewings could be announced for each capital city. Get ‘em in the tents, zip up the airtight openings….I think we all know where this is going.

14 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

A bogan inside will just yell ‘dutch oven’… and they’ll waste all the oxygen on guffawing.

14 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

That’s not gold… that’s platinum!

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

it’s all going godwin.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Yup.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Is this:
GoAway (14:18:38) :
UR All wrong. Hey Hey is the best i have watched it all my life from when i was a small girl at Nannas. Nanna won a FRYPAN and their even sent it. on what cheezes meoff hey hey is FUNNY!!! ur all not smart enouf. U wdnt like 2 and a Half men! U watch chanel 2!!!hey hay have famous ppl!!! not here U R ALL WRONG!

A joke?
Or one of the people we’ve attracted here from the Facebook Hey Hey I’m Retarded fan page?
So hard to tell the difference!

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’ll take that as a compliment.

CULTURE JAM!!!

woo
.

14 04 2010
Simon

Great Shirl, I have never tried facebook so your assistance is appreciated *quivers in anticipation*.

14 04 2010
Kate

“When this great bogan entertainment institution wound down in 1999, it coincided with the first year of Rove’s hilarious prime time escapades. A decade later, the baton has again been passed. Back to Daryl. It is understood that Rove has been cryogenically frozen, and will be resuscitated to cater to the bogan’s entertainment needs once surgeons become unwilling to perform any further hip replacements on Daryl Somers.”

I chuckled a bit.

14 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

Ooo you cheeky Monkey Shirley… love it :D hehehee

14 04 2010
GoAway

UR All wrong. Hey Hey is the best i have watched it all my life from when i was a small girl at Nannas. Nanna won a FRYPAN and their even sent it. on what cheezes meoff hey hey is FUNNY!!! ur all not smart enouf. U wdnt like 2 and a Half men! U watch chanel 2!!!hey hay have famous ppl!!! not here U R ALL WRONG!

14 04 2010
Shirley M

A joke, right?

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Yep.
reckon.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

well I suspect it’s genuine.
It’s probably the Fourth Earl of Plymouth.

14 04 2010
Fourth Earl of Plymouth

Nope. Not me.

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

hohohohohohoho

14 04 2010
Kate

I’m still going to watch ABC’s hour and a half of power (Spicks and Specks, Hungry Beast and whatever British/Australian short term comedy series they have on). I may channel surf to Channel 9 and see what the atrocity of the Hey Hey It’s Saturday revival is like. Then drink a bottle of bleach.

14 04 2010
The Boganator

Does anyone have any spare time on thier hands?

What I think would be very interesting to see would be a graph of the number of comments left per TBL article (that is, TBL article on the x-axis, total number of comments on the y-axis).

I won’t pay you to do this, but I would really appreciate it.

Any takers?

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Perhaps TBL will do it for us?

What’s your money on? Anal or Hey Hey? haha

We haven’t the time, I’m afraid. We’ve written 10+ posts in the last 3 days! TBL

14 04 2010
Will S

o___O

them bogans are likin things faster than yall can write about them

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Good call, Will. I did LOL.

14 04 2010
uberalles

You want to know who is to blame for all this awful television? You’ll have to take a long hard look in the mirror sorry…
TV is advertising. That is all. Unfortunately those most likely to go interest free at Harvey Norman or buy an ugly leather couch from that-place-with-the-plastic-boob-girl-on-the-ads are bogans. And you can peg the decline of free-to-air television* inversely to the rise of the incomes of bogans.
My point, it’s not the bogans who are ruining television, it’s the fact that they are cashed up.
Why am I saying it’s your (being the readership here / the wider public’s) fault? Well you are the ones cashing them up! If you are ever getting quotes for a building job, etc, give the job to the guy who shows up in the beaten up old Hilux, not the one with the brand new Chevrodore ute with massive rims. Just like World Vision (but for television), together we can make a difference.

*I’m not saying there is anything good on pay-TV either. It’s a widely known fact that pay-TV is uberbogan anyway.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

All I understood from that is your comment about World Vision’s advertising appealing to suckers and no one questioning how much they spend on advertising vs the kids they’re pulling on your heart and purse strings to save.
Oh wait, you didn’t say that.
What ARE you saying?
Starve the tradesmen? Check out their cars before we let them fix the washing machine?
I don’t watch ads and when I can’t avoid it I’m sure I’m not their target audience – so don’t blame me (or us?) because we’re not buying that shit!

14 04 2010
uberalles

For sure, starve the tradies! (oh wait I didn’t say that)
Consumption is driven not only by demand, but by excess and no-one does excess like the cashed-up bogan. In fact I think I said about giving the job to someone who looks like they could do with the money, rather than someone who is obviously stuck for ideas and keeps plunging more money into their xxxtreme motor vehicle (most likely with something like ‘xxxtreme’ on their plates). Hardly saying to starve them. For if we are sick of bad bogan television, we’re either going to have to outspend the bogan (which would make Barnaby Joyce’s financial policies seem sensible by comparision) or do something to remove such excess cash from the bogans. Television will only go where advertising will follow.
We are living in a strange time when learning a trade will put you in a comfortable income bracket far earlier than someone who has done years of study at university or worked their way up through a company. Only if and when the blue collar income reverts to something like the 1980s – instead of now when the blue collar equates to popped collar – will normal programming resume.

14 04 2010
Nelson Esq

In my own personal defence, uberalles, it’s not me feeding the CUB’s; I just had my front porch re-done by a chippy who drove a beat up 1970 Chrysler Valiant Safari wagon. He was a lovely non-bogan tradie chap who did a top-notch job!

But going by your theory, the evolved species now known as the Cashed Up Bogan (Bogue Nouveax) must now de-evolve just so all the normal people can have decent television programming. Fuck, that’s deep!!

However, it could be argued that many have already de-evolved into Neanderthal or Homo-erectus, which explains the huge number of footballers, Bob Jane store smashing rioters and cunt glassing drunkards out there…

14 04 2010
James Hunter

so what do we make from this? that you do not watch tv at all?

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I have no trouble avoiding commercials James.
I despise them.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

me neither. The remote and I are very familiar.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

can’t tolerate commercial radio for the same reason. sooner or later someone is going to bellow the praises of some widget or other.

14 04 2010
Sam

Boguette glassing cluster in the West:

“A GLAMOROUS career-minded Perth bank worker has been jailed for 18 months after glassing another woman in the face at a Northbridge nightclub.”

http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/bank-worker-eva-scolaro-24-jailed-for-glassing-another-woman/story-e6frg12c-1225853627296

14 04 2010
Pete

Nice touch pouring the drink down her victim’s back before glassing the c**t. Bogans like this should be sterilised (ie. removed from the gene pool) not just jailed.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

this glassing thing is just all the rage!
I’m sure it was just a legend from the 70’s not that long ago. No one had ever actually done it. A bit like a donkey punch really…
I am sad to say, a long time ago – during a previous incarnation (mentioned yesterday), I was privvy to a fair bit of ‘knuckle’. In nine years I never witnessed anyone pull a weapon of any sort. but these days it seems to be roughly on par with US high school shootings for frequency.
I need to go back and read that blog…

14 04 2010
Sten

I hate to admit this… but she sounds like my ex.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

tags are funny too.
bogan, saturday, wednesday.

14 04 2010
Angry In Brunswick

Since I got a monitor big enough to watch DVDs via my Mac, I pretty much don’t watch any tv at all.

Except for ABC and SBS, and usually only after 10pm, TV is for retards.

/middleclassovereucatedwanker

There’s basically nothing interesting, challenging or entertaining on Australian TV. Anything that is good can be downloaded or streamed and usually comes from elsewhere (thank fuck for HBO) – not because Australia is crap, but because there are no budgets here, or enough courage – to support new, original local TV production.

14 04 2010
Sibyl Ince

Why are you people watching so much TV? Don’t you have virtual worlds to belong to, or something? One of those places where you make your own *ahem* ‘entertainment’.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

why yes.
I am actually an emperor of a clan of

nah F*ck it couldn’t be bothered

14 04 2010
Sten

Nope, but I’ve beer to imbibe. See you all tomorrow.

14 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh but Sibyl, TBL is my virtual world – a world mostly free of bogans

14 04 2010
John Egan

“Although, “New Zealand” is our Canada,”
Christ! She said something sensible!

14 04 2010
Brimstone

Australia and Canada are the same country with different climates

14 04 2010
Nelson Esq

Said like a true American.

14 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

but australia has better neighbours

14 04 2010
Shirley M

hehehehe

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
Actually its a bit past wisky o’clock
or some bourbon that “old crone” is the go.

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
sorry, “enviromentally prefered sewage recyclers” is a bit long winded though. agree?
Its not individual septics we are so down on you realise dont you?
Just the Intellectual imperialism, cultural imperialism and the propensity to invite friends to wars you start and know not how to finish.Oh and insist on selling friends last years military gear to cover your overbudget fuck ups.
asside from that septics arnt that bad.

14 04 2010
Chris Taylor

Things bogans like: referring to Americans as septics.

14 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And Victorians as Mexicans. *yawn*

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi and Chris,
I accept that calling Yanks, septics, is bogan and outside ,for effect,on a site like this, I would not usually use the word.
However I notice you did not criticise my general comments about the various forms of american imperialism.??

15 04 2010
Brimstone

not all Americans are Yanks. by a stroke of luck you are correct in this case – i am a Yank, as i’m from the general New England/tri-state area. but try calling a Southerner a Yank

and i think we need more American cultural imperialism if this is the sort of dreck you have on TV

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Agreed. Why is it OK to be racist against the American people?

14 04 2010
Simon

It’s gone quiet, all you bastards are watching Hey Hey huh.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Help me Simon. My paramour is watching it as we speak. I can hear it. All the cheap champagne in the world is not going to save me now. HELP ME!

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Here’s a glass.

*chuck*

Got it. Now do what you must do.

14 04 2010
Shirley M

Thanks Benjamin. Crisis was averted when I mentioned that Spicks and Specks was about to start.

One minute more and I would happily have glassed the father of my bambino.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

Doc Neeson. Cool!

14 04 2010
Tombarina

So’s mine, Shirley. Just to be spiteful.

So I went downstairs, only to discover that I can both SEE AND HEAR IT from the neighbour’s enormous plasma.

So back upstairs to the office, door closed, gaps wedged with dampened towels for soundproofing, necking a bottle of cheap’n’nasty.

We shouldn’t have to live like this…..

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
you are soooo right.
buy yourself some decent wine !!

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

hohoho

That was funny James!

14 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
Thank you, ( ARMS UP HIGH AND WIDE, ) wait for the appaluse to die down bring the arms down, then:
Thank you ( arms up again as the curtain is drawn.

15 04 2010
Simon

I think any decent judge would give you full custody and all assets as anyone who watches Hey Hey obviously can’t be trusted Tombarina.

15 04 2010
Simon

One word Shirl, Divorce.

15 04 2010
Shirley M

It did cross my mind.

I then made a compromise by suggesting I go out to trivia every wednesday and he can stay home with the bambino. It wasn’t until this morning that it dawned on me that allowing my son and heir to watch this tripe constitutes child abuse.

I might take Benjamin’s advice and glass him.

14 04 2010
Benjamin

*crickets*

I think they’re doing research, Simon.

Anyway – aren’t you supposed to be at the studio now, glass in hand?

14 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I’m watching a documentary on serial killers!

hohohohoho

14 04 2010
Benjamin

I can see how that could be useful.

15 04 2010
Simon

I was, went mobile Ben. Shit bogan blood is hard to get out of clothes.

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

soda water?

15 04 2010
AlyssaKT

No, I left the house entirely! Went across to my local bowls club and enjoyed $11.90 roast dinners, $3 reds and watched 100+ people “rock and roll” dancing instead. I’m sure I’m infinitely better off for not watching Hey Hey it’s Sadtoday

14 04 2010
Laura

Yep, there are bogan vibes in the Melbourne air tonight. I had a feeling I might find this article here this evening. :) I had an inkling when I logged onto Facebook and there discovered all the bogues I know all galvanised by the huge excitement of the return of Daryl and co. Many a triumphant status update is splashed across my screen right now…rightly so, I do suppose, as they’d all been members of sundry inane FB groups petitioning to bring back Hey Hey for ages.

It’s bogan gold to be sure, that show. The whole “blackface” thing was telling…funny how every single person – without exception – who was lighting-quick to decry “political correctness gone wrong!!!!” in the wake of the “controversy” was a BOGAN. “Wot?” they whinged, “it was meant to be a farken JOKE, caaarnts. It’s farken political correctness gawn farken wrong, caaarnts!!” Yeah, a joke to those who weren’t um…you know…actually offended, by it. All my bogue mates lambasted Harry Connick Jr as a Yank wanker, one even wittily telling him to “fark orf, Austraya’s full”.

I need to get out of the northern suburbs in the very…worst…way.

14 04 2010
Laura

Oh, excuse me. Political correctness gone mad, that should be.

14 04 2010
Tombarina

Well said, Laura. I feel your pain – judging by a quick wander down my street, every second house seemed to have that vomitous variety hodgepodge on tonight. I didn’t realise I lived amid so many lobotomised mutants.

And James H, you’re quite right – I should be drinking better wine. But I simply necked the first chilled cleanskin I could find. Desperate times, my friend. Desperate times…..

14 04 2010
Laura

Brilliant work, guys. :)

14 04 2010
Poida

Glad I work on Wednesday AND Thursday evenings. I miss Hey Hey It’s Shiterday and The Footy Shite!!!!!!!!

I have always wondered why we call Australian Rules “Footy”. Would Americans call Baseball “Basey”, or the Poms call Cricket “cricky”????

Upset a bogan Aussie Rules supporter by calling the game “footy” in a little kids voice, and Soccer “Football” in a manly voice :)

15 04 2010
Laura

LOL, Poida. Good one, moite! :)

15 04 2010
Laura

Just had an epiphany in the middle of the night and felt compelled to come share it. It’s almost 3 am, or some such ungodly hour, and I am sleepless in Melbourne. But that’s nothing new; been an insomniac since babyhood. I’d tossed and turned for hours before saying, bugger it, if I’m gonna be awake, I may as well come entertain myself by reading more hilarious TBL posts.

And while doing so, I thought I’d check my Facebook to see if insomnia had struck any of my friends tonight also (and because, goddammit, FB IS as stupidly addictive as crack, grr). And in doing so, I realised the following: true, wretched insomnia never seems to strike bogan friends of mine! Granted, there are the unemployed ones who can and do stay up all night to join moronic FB groups all night, and a few night shift working bogans slacking off on the job to do likewise, but they never seem to complain about being kept awake at night, tormented by unrelenting thoughts of a pensive nature. All my bogue friends, after a night spent eating Dominios before an ijit box housing Daryl Somers and co, the bogues declared themselves, to paraphrase the general gist of their updates, “sleepy after a good old fashioned family night in watchin Hey Hey..goodnight facebookers” and went to go crash in their Harvey Norman-purchased beds for the night! HMPH!!

I know…I’m being bitter, you’re damn straight. Cos my (thankfully majority…I think) non-bogue friends were the ones being kept awake with inexorable thoughts thoughts thoughts.

And I realised in a moment of disquieting epiphany that………

I envy the bogan.

I envy it its general ignorance, self-absorption, oblivion to things many and varied, and, despite its irrefutable capacity for immense loathing of infinite things, and its oft-grumpy ways, its seeming ability to remain essentially happy with itself and its life, day after day.

This appears to be a real truism, the more I think about it, and it just doesn’t seem fair.

Sigh.

I guess a degree of solace can be taken in these words of Hemingway’s, though: “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”.

15 04 2010
Laura

Gads. Made the mistake of doing one last FB-check before attempting to get a measly three hours’ sleep…and have decided TBL really must do an article on the thing. I know there’s the “Moronic Groups” article, and it’s brilliant. But, please, TBL, do an entry on the bogan’s love for FB in general? Purty please? You wouldn’t have to insinuate that it was bogue-only, that non-bogans don’t enjoy it, too.

It’s just that the thing is SO up the bogan’s alley, in every way. After all, it is the perfect vessel for the bogan’s propensity for:

Gratuitous, too-much-information status updates, detailing everything in their daily life bar bowel movements (although I live in constant fear of it someday coming to that); gratuitous broadcasting of their innermost thoughts and emotions right across the spectrum; gratuitous picture whoring (particularly of their sexualised offspring and infinite WEDDING PICS); ad nauseum ranting; ad nauseum moronic group- joining; ad nauseum inane fb games, just altogether ad nauseum BOGAN PRESENCE. It just makes me cringe to think of the massive amounts of cyberspace being taken up for bogan inanity muddying Facebook..

Anyways, apologies, dear non-bogans, for the probably incoherent, sleeeepy ranting/rambling, just had to get that off my chest! It’s back to beddy byes for moi.

15 04 2010
Phil

Heres something that fits that description;

http://www.lamebook.com/

15 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Facebook by it’s very nature is the ultimate bogan vehicle of interwebby activities, we exclude here the various commercial interests that have seen it as ideal hunting ground. Let’s face facts here anyone can run up a page, it requires zero technical knowledge or ability, and allows the Bogan global conspiracy to keep in touch …. assuming of course “Hey Hey It’s Saturday” or the footie show isn’t on, required watching apparently.

In the Bogan’s never ending quest for faux celeb status, what better method of running up half a million cyber friends that somehow confirm it’s place in the glittering faux diamond world of “C” grade celeb inanity. It can only be one step from here to “Big Brother” and from there a glittering career, of two weeks, featured in New Idea magazine.

Speaking of all things cinematic, hold onto your linen “New Moon” has been released on DVD! My helpful new releases e-letter can inform me that there’s three different options for enjoying this “wonderful movie franchise”, actually one was too many but that may just be me. I’m kind of holding out till the release with the “Team Stephenie Meyers sucks balls in hell” tee becomes available.

15 04 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

Yes, Facebook, Twitter and of course the bogan saviour in E-Harmony warrant some form of non-bogan backlash for playing their part in connecting bogans so they can make sure they all like the same shit, they don’t actually have to leave the house to meet someone and they have something to do all day.

I feel blogging could also get a mention but of course that’s not bogan is it?

15 04 2010
pominoz

I was watching Family Guy last night and when the ads came on I could not resist looking at this Hey Hey program. At the first break i saw someone dressed like a chicken or some other bird. They had a quiz and one of the questions was ‘finish this well know quote from an advert It was something to do with a burger chain! (Hungry Jacks?) Second time, another quiz with a big wheel and yet again someone dressed as a chicken? Some woman won $5000 worth of stuff from a hardware store!

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

quality entertainment.
the footy show is much the same, only the guy dressed as a chicken is dressed as a chick.

15 04 2010
Brimstone

Family Guys is just as stupid and lazy
except, ironically, the fight between Peter and the guy dressed up as a chicken. that bit was good

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Oh no.
I’m sure it’s a real chicken.
In Family Guy.

15 04 2010
pb

well apparently hey hey didn’t win the ratings last night and was beaten by the pacific. http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/hey-hey-its-a-photo-finish-20100415-sfa1.html small mercies.

15 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

Hey Hey isnt that bad! geez….

I think this site has become a “we hate Aussies” site.I dont know why there is the odd muttering of “:it isnt about race”…yes it is.
Even football has been classified as homophobic & racist, it all goes too far and gets stupid. I also saw some other idiot explain that the flag and all other Australians symbols were “nazi” type symbols.
I have gone from seeing some humour in the earlier posts to seeing it as an outright attack and political statement.

Fiona of Toorak, I have seen some zany tv in other countries and do not judge a nation by it, only an imbecile with shallow reasoning would do that.

15 04 2010
Shirley M

You have granted me sufficient insight into your belief system, motivations and intellect for me to say with surety that you are not one of us.

If you need assistance finding more suitable reading material, I am happy to oblige. Though I’m sure you’re already a member of every moronic group facebook has to offer. That should keep you busy.

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

yeah it’s political correctness gone mad .

15 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

What is “one of us” ?
Sounds like kindy.

15 04 2010
Shirley M

‘One of us’ can be defined by anyone who lives outside the perimeters set by this blog.

Feels like kindy.

15 04 2010
AlyssaKT

no, in kindy “we” would have let you play with us because “we” were less discerning…

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

remember when fiona would just pop up and say “LOL you’re not smart enough to be here.”

15 04 2010
Shirley M

Yeah. Ahhh the memories.

LOL.

9 06 2010
Will S

just walked past the TV with tonight’s edition:

bogans try to find singapore on the map. and fail. miserably.

12 07 2010
Shreiking Wombat

Well here’s good news: Hey Hey could be scrapped:-

Corrinne Lawrence, the fan who spearheaded a Facebook campaign to bring the show back, defended it this week.

“Daryl is only doing this for us – he could be doing anything but he’s doing this for our nation,” Lawrence said.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/entertainment/tv/hey-hey-its-saturday-ditched-by-channel-9-halfway-through-first-season/story-e6frf9ho-1225889069808

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