#110 – ADHD

22 03 2010

The bogan’s desire for glory manifests itself in many different ways. There’s the uninformed gambling, the process of getting huge, the killing of things, and so much more. All of this glory-hunting takes up significant slices of the bogan’s time, so the bogan is prone to taking shortcuts on other things to ensure that it can fit in the viewing of a Twenty/Twenty cricket game before going to the pub to watch a cover band butcher “Sex on Fire”. One of the things that regularly get short-changed by the bogan is the adequate raising of its children.

Due to neglect, a massive can for breakfast each day, and impulsive and anti-intellectual parental role models, the bogan’s children are quite likely to behave like uncontrollable morons. While the bogan parent is always eager to acquire cheap glory, it is vehemently unwilling to accept responsibility for the conduct of bogan junior, despite little Bilynda and Maxxx busily setting fire to the upholstery in the formal dining area. Using the same mental shortcut that caused it to decide that it had a gluten allergy, the bogan will loudly and arbitrarily declare that its recalcitrant offspring has ADHD. At this point, the bogan parent feels relieved and reassured that none of this mess is its fault.

The calmness and relief is shortlived, however, because parent-teacher interviews are very stressful for the bogan parent. Faced with professionally trained opinions on its child’s behaviour, rage surges through the bogan’s veins like fuel through a jet ski. It decides that because bogan junior can do no wrong, the teacher needs to be taken down a peg or two, in the process gaining much-needed exposure to the bogan’s “real world”. The teacher rudely suggests that the child might not have ADHD, and could perhaps benefit from better guidance and support. The teacher also suggests getting a medical opinion on the alleged ADHD, which is interpreted by the bogan parent as a statement of doubt that the bogan might not be a medical expert. This is unacceptable to the bogan.  Amidst the screeching, the finger pointing, the feigned shock, and the threats of retribution, the bogan parent will variously assign blame to the other students, other parents, the teacher, or the fundamental concept of education. It will eventually storm out, vowing to itself that it will craft its child even more closely in its own image.

At a subsequent BBQ, the bogan will proudly regale all attending about the time they stuck it up the Headmaster. It will describe in vivid detail every unreasonable conclusion and every pathetic excuse that justified their spawn interrupting and assaulting 30 other innocent children stupidly focused on obtaining an education.


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364 responses

22 03 2010
Struct

Genius.

22 03 2010
Bogue

It’s just so close to reality, I may be ill.

22 03 2010
Benjamin

Alas.

From an encounter at a birthday party at a relatives house:

Fat Bogan Child says to its Fat Bogan Mother “Fuck You slag!”.
Mother ignores child, smiles, chuckles to us and says “Heh – ADHD”.

I’m not sure how I kept quiet, but I did.

Same mother earlier to another “I’ve switched to rollies and I’m saving $90 a week”.

I think I’m going to have a cry now.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Ha! Sounds like a swingin’ shindig. I can just imagine the army of dutiful mothers minding their children by holding them in one arm, as the struggle with the Drum and Tallyho’s in the other. Meanwhile, young Braxton is holding the lighter and dreaming of growing up to work as a CFA volunteer.

15 04 2010
JacJacJacqui

More like tourettes! Kid just needs a good smack in the mouth..

4 10 2010
Silverback

A public smack in the mouth, preferably in the nylon undies section at K-mart late night shopping?

15 11 2010
Nous

As a school teacher I wholeheartedly agree!
As these children are allowed to speak to their parents in such a manner, so too do they expect this is the normal way to address teachers when they don’t get their way.

To the Bogan:
Your child does not have ADHD, he/she is just a bloody menace who was brought up by incompetence…Period.

9 01 2011
pipmc

As a mother do I have a right to expect you as a teacher, to teach my child how to read and write? Can you explain to me why my 7 year old can’t learn how to read and write, where as my 5 year old
is reading at a year 3 level and my two and a half year old notices words. Does that make me a bad parent? Do I have the right to attack his teacher when she makes him stand up in front of his classroom and informs his class that he is stupid? Do I have the right to smack the bitch in her haughty, nasty face? Maybe instead of blaming the parents and children now is the time to blame the useless teachers that are more concerned on getting the children to sit down and shut up by any means even name calling and shaming a 7 year old child.

29 07 2011
Gab

You don’t have the right to attack or smack any bitch in the face actually – thats the law. Your role modelling teaches your children more than any school or teacher ever will so if you feel like teaching your child that when things get hard and don’t work out to plan that you should attack someone else your doing them a great disservice because that won’t get them anywhere in life but in trouble.

15 03 2014
James

Me too. I think in my marking of rolls in the Logan area I’ve come across ten different spellings for the name: Reilly

I don’t even know if that’s correct – it wasn’t my first choice (just went with what spell-check suggested)

15 03 2014
James

ROFL!!!!!!!!!

22 03 2010
Jerry

Agreed. The parts about parental neglect and the parent’s attitude regarding parent/teacher interviews is a little too close to the truth.

On a different topic, I wonder if TBL would also cover 1st year university.

22 03 2010
SM Adelaide

This site stopped being funny and became a highly credible source of highly depressing news

22 03 2010
Bogue

I agree. It’s beginning to make me angry. I have a toddler and I’m worried about MY reaction to bogan parent, when I’m subjected to their selfish, brainless, anti-social behaviour, mirrored by their disgraceful mini-me’s at school. A harmless school sporting day could so easily turn into a mass glassing if I snap and give in.

22 03 2010
James

You have to learn to laugh about it Bogue. My partner and I spend much time identifying boganity and making quiet jokes about it at such events. Beats a glassing rampage…

22 03 2010
Bogue

Much less energy invested too. However, living in Port Adelaide, saturation point will be reached and the day will come when I will have laughed my last laugh at bogan expense, then, god help me…

Anyway, off to West Lakes Westfield Shopping Centre to get my mobile phone fixed…lets see how close to the threshold I am when I return!

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

No Bogue don’t do it!
There’s a tele choice at Unley!

22 03 2010
Bogue

I’m afraid I must…the possibility that I may lose control of my car and mow down Bec and Llllleyton as they cross the road is too great an attraction…

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Bec and Lllllllllleyton live at Unley?

No wait.
Of Course they do.

22 03 2010
LT

That’s right, TBL hasn’t done a piece on Lllllllleyton yet! Put it on the to do list TBL!

22 03 2010
Simon

Bogue, for the sake of the children, Move.

22 03 2010
Bogue

It’s OK, I made it out without being clubs in a carpark duel to the death, being smashed into by an octogenerian bogan’s shopping trolley or having to scream at disinterested, rude retail staff. My goodness, they do love a franchise down there…not an independent trader within 500m of the place.

Sadly, I missed the opportunity to mow down Bec and Lllleyton, but I assume they probably have an underground passage direct to the Lakes Taverna VIP suite, the Crows clubroom VIP lounge, or their private gym at Westfield.

22 03 2010
Simon

*Breathes sign of relief, wipes brow*

22 03 2010
Bogue

Aw, thankyou Simon, I appreciate your concern for my personal welfare. Or was it Bec and Lllllllllleyton you were concerned about?

22 03 2010
Simon

You Bogue, of course.

23 03 2010
Carlos the Jackal

You obviously didn’t go when the AFL has turned West Lakes Mall into the car park for Football Park – car parks are full, shops are empty.

The last time I made the mistake of driving there on game day hoping to get in and out quickly, I just about got to the point of wanting to attack those responsible (not with glassware, though…)

You’re all working on the assumption that Lllllllllllleyton & Bec actually WALK around the periphery of West Lakes Mall. Westfield (and those who owned the mall before them) have been discouraging that sort of thing for years.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Nice one James.
Intolerance is Bogue.
“Be the change…”

22 03 2010
James

Does it count as tolerance of we are making fun of them? I suppose that is tolerance of a sort – certainly more tolerance than they afford us.

22 03 2010
James

*if we are making fun of them. Damn typos.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

tolerance only goes as far as not actually glassing the cunts.

24 03 2010
You can run but you can't hide

That’s why some parents drive kilometres out of their way to find a less bogan (parented) school. You need to do your due diligance before enrolling.

22 03 2010
ThePineapple

Yeah it’s becoming that way. This site is now a depressing snapshoot of life in Australia in 2010.

There is nothing to boost about when most of the last 10 ir so entries are depressing and real.

I am really terrified of having kids in Australia.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Me too. I mean terrified of you having kids.

23 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

I think it’s time things were lightened up with a blog on that most looked-forward-to event in any bogan’s calendar – the funeral of a mate.

The larger-than-life-size framed photos of the deceased carried in black frames at the head of the cortege.

The casket (or sidecar, Holden or last year’s demo-derby entry) adorned with handwritten texta-monials from the bereaved.

ShaTonqua, Rhyelie and little Tyson-Turbo all marching in sad formation adorned in their tear-stained VB t-shirts.

The Staff-Pit also adorned in a VB t-shirt and the deceased’s Glarefoils, dragging his anchor chain solemnly behind him.

Tis such a spectacle.

23 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

*sob*

but at least there’s the wake to look forward to…

23 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It’s been done – regular contributors (such as my good self) provided extensive commentary on the bogan funeral of the teenagers who died from arboreal arrest in Mill Park a few months ago.

23 03 2010
loftie

how quickly we forget, or forgot…

24 03 2010
Will S

Months on and I still can’t get over the alcohol tributes to underaged drivers.

22 03 2010
ThePineapple

Yeah it’s become that way. This site is now a depressing snapshot of life in Australia in 2010.

There is nothing to boast about when most of the last 10 or so entries are depressing and real.

I am really terrified of having kids in Australia or even having them educated in an australian school.

22 03 2010
Shirley M

As a non bogan Australian you need to get over this fear and breed. The bogans are breeding their army at an exponential rate. Unless we at least match them in the procreation stakes, we are doomed. DOOMED!

22 03 2010
R.Belka

Then the bogans will say Fuck off we’re full to the non-bogans. Immigrants, non-bogans and un-bogans, your cue to procreate has come.

22 03 2010
Shirley M

One for mum, one for dad, one for the economy, and one to beat the shit out of Shosharna.

26 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

I shall start on my patriotic duty now.

Aussie Aussie Aussie, oi oi oi indeed.

22 03 2010
Ghenghis

Well, if we get paid maternity leave, maybe the baby bonus could be abolished, and once again, society would be back to normal.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. So long as Harvey Norman set up a payment scheme that allows maternity leave payments to be funneled directly into an account that slowly pays off a 99″ LCD TV…

22 03 2010
X.

My thoughts exactly.

All the tie-ins with previous posts are pretty much close to the mark as well.

14 04 2014
Ienai

Try having REAL ADHD.
These yahoos are responsible for the situation in Canberra, that means I had to go all the way to Melbourne- just to get a decent psychatrist.
They wangle out Dex for little Chanelle or Tooby, take it in handfuls at clubs and such, go berserk after adding a handful of meth to the mix, then when taken into emergency ( tied down, usually )- tell the medics, “I’m on Dex! its not my fault!”
Never mentioning the sulphate, on top of the ten dex, plus 6 cans of mother, and jager shots. So good old Dex, safe as anything-cheap as chips, is said to be “SPEED.” n
Never mind you, those of us who can’t think properly, hold a job ( even hospitality ), sleep or focus without something to counteract the adrenalin/noradrenalin surge of our misplaced chemistry.
I HATE these people.
Speed? My ass. Its a paradoxical stimulant taken at right dosage.
The only DECENT psych was hounded right out of his profession ( and he treated people with ADD/ADHD for DECADES, in jail even) , subsequent to a “peer observation period,” because he made jokes that one could sell it at Marnuka ( local upscale suburb) for 5 bucks if you couldn’t afford to buy it that month.
What is left, is some perv who requests all females remove their clothes, someone described by the ADD/ADHD society as ” I wouldn’t send a dog there,” and a fuckwit who claims,” Oh I dont believe in ADHD , but some patients have done well on stimulants.”

22 03 2010
Poppy

“…the bogan parent will variously assign blame to the other students, other parents, the teacher, or the fundamental concept of education.”

So very true, but don’t forget the Government. It is their fault education and health systems are failing their progeny.

22 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Yeah, why is Emmasyn pregnant at 14? “What are schools teaching kids these days? Don’t they have sex ed?”
I won’t be relying solely on the education system for anything when I have children.
They never think to teach their children anything themselves.
Then again, perhaps they did teach her; monkey see: monkey do.

22 03 2010
James

The same parents I mentioned earlier once asked me why our daughter read so well, when their son (who is three years older) can not read at all. When we told them we taught her to read, and not the school, they were shocked. They asked how we did it. When I told them we read to our daughter from a very young age, and got her to read to us as soon as she could, they replied, “But we couldn’t be fucked.” That is the mantra of the bogan parent.

22 03 2010
Shirley M

I’ve had a similar exchange with a bogan mum who couldn’t understand why my son would eat such a large variety of foods – particularly vegetables. She ‘couldn’t be arsed’ wasting her time cooking stuff that her son ‘probably’ wouldn’t like anyway.

22 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I’m amazed when I hear parents say they can’t be fucked/arsed/bothered to give extra time to their children.

Another thing they don’t realise is even if they did read to their kids, just telling them to read books, without their children seeing their parents read, won’t mean much in the long run.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Hence the problem…

22 03 2010
Simon

Monkey see, monkey do.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Too busy breadin’ to be bothered readin’.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Too busy yellin’ to be bothered with spellin’. :-S

22 03 2010
Shirley M

too busy fightin’ to teach farkin writin’

22 03 2010
Simon

Too busy drinking for any thinking

22 03 2010
Shirley M

drop those g’s Simon…

22 03 2010
Simon

Too much education for abbreviation.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Yes, you’re lifting the vocab far above the subject matter.

22 03 2010
Simon

pologies for bug wirds, will do much more betterer soom.

22 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

Too busy glassin’ to be arsed about classin’

22 03 2010
Simon

Bogans bake? Isn’t that what bakers delight is for?

22 03 2010
Bogue

I’m sure that’s the best outlet for the bogan to step up from Omega 3 white bread to ‘sumfin arty’, like a cheese twist?

23 03 2010
Carlos the Jackal

The one time in a bogan’s life when it can be fucked is when it’s breedin’…

(shudders)

22 03 2010
Poppy

The good folk at TBL have identified 110 things bogans like. So how is the modern day bogan to find enough hours in the day not only to enjoy these, but also to raise its spawn?

The answer is clearly outsourcing. Outsourcing to the education system, to the local sporting club, the child’s peer group (gang), and to the 10-foot LCD TV in the McMansion’s theater room.

22 03 2010
j-ho

I know of a bogan family because of a guy I work with. The bogan mother will not touch a chicken parma if it even has a sprig of parsley on it… serious story. The child hates vegetables too, I wonder why?

22 03 2010
toony

That reminds me of the lines from The Big Lebowski;

The Dude: Ah, fuck it.
The Big Lebowski: Fuck it! Yes! That’s your answer. That’s your answer for everything! Tattoo it on your forehead!
Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski?

…in a roundabout way.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

But I love the Dude…

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Nobody f*cked with the Jesus! I wonder if he would have glassed the c*nt who tried?

22 03 2010
Simon

I would think what the Jews did to him called for some glass work Fi.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Not Jesus, THE Jesus. You are out of your depth in this branch.

22 03 2010
Simon

Won’t stop me throwing in random comments though.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It never seems to have.

22 03 2010
Shirley M

I think the preferred nomenclature is ‘Shut the fuck up, Simon, you’re out of your element’.

Don’t take this personally Simon. I’m afraid you’ve become the victim of blatant film referencing.

23 03 2010
Simon

You mob are about to become victims of a blatant glassin. Goddamn film nerds.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

“Shut the Fuck Up Donnie!”

or Simon if you wish to paraphrase.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

oops.
beaten to the punch.
now who’s out of his element.

22 03 2010
j-ho

Was hoping it would be about Easternats….

22 03 2010
Mezz

I’m sure that one’s coming – Here’s something to keep you going until then.

http://freakmagnets.wordpress.com/2010/03/20/bob-jane-feels-the-boganic-wrath/

22 03 2010
Shirley M

In the absence of a picture to evoke child bogan imagery, I am going to imagine a small child threatening another small child with a compass.

Another fine entry.

22 03 2010
22 03 2010
Bogue

You need to keep moving West, my anti-bogan friend. Is Beaufort bogan/glassing free?

22 03 2010
Jasper

23 03 2010
swalk

Needless to say I don’t condone the course of action demonstrated in this South Park episode. In fact, it strikes me as a decidedly boganistic response to the issue – threats, shouting, and physical violence, anyone? Yep, all present and correct.

22 03 2010
dazz

sensitive topic – brave
absolutely on the money, unbelievably accurate.

22 03 2010
Bec

Almost rivalled by the bogan’s love of proclaiming on Herald Scum comments pages that ADHD is just ‘PC gone mad’, and that if they were just smacked more the kids would behave.

Easily reduced to ‘it’s not a real disease unless my kid has it’.

23 03 2010
swalk

Yes, well, it’s much easier for the parents than modelling appropriate behaviour themselves.

14 04 2014
Ienai

Murdoch propaganda.
Let THEM be stapled to the seat( mum )
Let THEM find out what happens to you when its decided ,not you may have a communication disorder ( amounting to near retardation at times ) but DOING it on PURPOSE.
FOCUS YOU LAZY Little sh!@s! and CALM the fuck down, NOW! ( insert various parental beatings, ect).
Id like to make them drink 17 cups of expresso, down some meth, drink 10 cokes, some mother and a dozen crispy cremes.
THEN tell me how it FEELS.
You focus, you shyster bastards! Or I’ll set you on fire!
After 35 years of abuse ( of every form, too awful to relate ) numerous flunking out- they found out – I’M A GENIUS!
For Real.
Someday I’m writing a book that exposes the stupidity of over-prescribing, to the detriment of us real ADHD-ers
Oh look! Shiny things!

22 03 2010
Tubesteak

Gee, TBL has certainly hit critical mass now. So many self-referential links.

But you missed jet skis.

I long to see the day where every sentence has a TBL reference.

Any bogues that stumble onto the site will be driven away as their ADHD won’t allow them to read through so many previous entries in order to gain an understanding of the current subject-matter.

Their confusion will drive them into a rage whereby they’ll go out and glass someone and it’ll be all your fault TBL because bogues aren’t responsible for their actions.

Just like the way police officers are responsible for the actions of car thieves…………

22 03 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Faced with professionally trained opinions on its child’s behaviour, rage surges through the bogan’s veins like fuel through a jet ski.

yes Tubesteak, very dissapointing from TBL. Referenced the jet ski but no link.

Maybe this is a limitiation to ten self referential links per blog ;)

22 03 2010
Tubesteak

So TBL is stopping itself from being x-treme?

22 03 2010
Bogue

X = 10…oh no!

By the way…off the topic (yes, ADHD, I know), Opel have just released their new sporting hatchback for the European market, the FLEXtreme. Could the bogan have infiltrated the white collar dominated Marketing ‘profession’? I know it is a profession dominated by liars, so seems a great entry point for the bogan, who will no doubt rise to the top, fulfilling it’s ambition to ‘stick it to da man’.

22 03 2010
Tubesteak

Marketing, by it’s very nature, is bogan.

It’s all about showing off a shiny new product and grabbing attention.

==> bogan

To get a job in marketing all one needs is a simple business degree

22 03 2010
Bogue

Obtainable from your local WEA in only 6 weeks!

22 03 2010
James

I’ve always wondered what “business studies” people actually do. Maybe it is the political science snob in me, but why does it take three years to learn how to buy something at one price, and sell it at a higher price? Or is there more to it than that?

22 03 2010
Tubesteak

Have 3 friends that did one. One went into marketing/sales.

The degree is basically a precursor to HR, management or marketing. From what I saw from my vantage point in Economics it seems to be largely about stating the bleeding obvious but putting it into a mantra that can be sold to low hanging fruit

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I don’t think an undergraduate degree in economics can really be called a “vantage point”…

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. If you want to put “political science (sic)” and “snob” into the same sentence, you need to add the word “not”.

22 03 2010
James

Likewise, Fiona, a lesser degree in the classics hardly gives one a good vantage point on political science.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Perhaps not. However, a higher degree most assuredly does.

22 03 2010
James

Nicely played. However, while perhaps from the vantage point of some, an M.St is a higher degree, to others (that is, me) it is a lesser degree. “Higher” and “lesser” are relative concepts. I would have expected better from you, Fiona.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Whilst higher and lesser are relative in the sense of a direct comparison between an M.St and a PhD (depending on where it was conferred of course), I was using it in the sense that your study in political “science” is inherently inferior (lesser, if you will) than mine in the Classics.

23 03 2010
James

Unless by inferior, you actually mean more relevant, I fail to see your point.

22 03 2010
Neighbourhoods

well, you’re a bit of a cow

23 03 2010
Lucky Fork

How was “political science” spelt incorrectly? Where exactly would the word “not” go? This insult makes no sense, your argument is invalid.

23 03 2010
AlyssaKT

If I may, I believe Fiona was not referring to the spelling, but rather the broad use of the word “science”. (A group of people discussing their [abject?] opinion on politics does not constitute any form of science.)

24 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You’re too stupid to post here.

24 03 2010
James

*sigh

22 03 2010
BG

similarly off-topic, there is a new industrial estate opening in south east melb called Xpress. presumably their first tenant will be a jet-ski showroom

22 03 2010
Simon

Seriously? Ah Melbourne, bogan capital of the world.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

You haven’t been to Perth?

22 03 2010
Simon

Yep, used to live there chubby.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

c’mon all those cashed up fly in fly out miners.
Skimpies?
Rub & Tug on every corner,
McMansions at Trigg
The Galleria?
Northbridge?

melbourne doesn’t stand a chance

22 03 2010
Simon

Melbourne,
Collingwood
Nathan Buckley with sons Jett and Ayce
At least half the Gold Coast is from Melbourne
Shane Warne
La Porcetta
Xtreme (The Suburb)
Geelong

Need I go on?

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL.

… the western suburbs.
The outer western suburbs (i.e., Adelaide).

15 04 2010
JacJacJacqui

You people have clearly never lived in QLD.

14 04 2014
Ienai

ADHD? I thought it was just being a cretin.
When did political correctness stop us from calling a spade a spade?
Stupid people have been here since the start and will no doubt, usher us off to our graves.
Why not just ignore the wishy washy inclusion-ists Ruining the WORLD, with mediocrity mind you. But its sooo nice! EVERYONE plays nice!

Makes me wish warning labels could be a thing of the past, and lawyers shot.
Wouldn’t Darwin Awards just rock?!

22 03 2010
CoffeeSnob

Not to mention the pride and joy that the Bogue parent will anticipate for their spawn becomes Famous. For not only will Taylah have become Famous, but they did so by overcoming their Mental Health Issues. Success in the face of such adversity could only comprehended by a full 4 minutes on ACA… or maybe Women’s Day.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Delicious!

Somewhat off topic… (I have ADHD)
I passed much of my sunday browsing thru some of the older posts and felt I had to bring this to the collective attention…

http://go2.wordpress.com/?id=725X1342&site=thingsboganslike.wordpress.com&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2F8496778%40N03%2F4446726997%2F

I think this elucidates the magnitude of the problem we are discussing, and further exposes the level of wit and guile of our avowed enemies.

With all due respect to the original poster Marty.

What were we talking about?

22 03 2010
Bogue

Ha! Bogan champagne comedy gold…I trust that is scrawled on the front seat of someone’s Holden Brougham?

22 03 2010
CoffeeSnob

Don’t you mean Chevrolet?

22 03 2010
Bogue

Indeed, affixed with a ‘Bow Tie’, probably manufactured by Shanghai-GM in China.

22 03 2010
Muz

> Don’t you mean Chevrolet?

Ahem….. Chevodore thank you!

22 03 2010
Bogue

Brougham…we are talking ‘Classic’, not ‘Plastic’ here.

24 03 2010
Loretta

Hey!
dont you DARE call my Commodore plastic.

22 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

On a train apparently.

(Originally posted by Marty under “What is a Bogan today?”)

Things Bogans Like: Vandalism.

22 03 2010
Bogue

No doubt avoiding a train fare, using a stolen market, which they PRIED the lid off…boom tish!

22 03 2010
Bogue

Erm…marker. My ADHD caused me to flash back to my previous comment re: Marketing mid-word.

22 03 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

I really get pissed off at bogans and their feigned reasons for their kids appalling behaviour, especially when there are kids who suffer from ADHD.

Its the 21st century version of RSI. Ever slacker suddenly came down with it in the 1980’s and people (like my mother-in-law) who had (and still has) genuine and debilitating cases of it, suffer not only the pain of the actual condition, but the stigna foisted upon them by frauds and lazy bogans who usurp the conditions to make their life “easier”.

Same with kids with ADHD and parents whose kids suffer from this learning disability. Geniune sufferes have to suffer the stigma because bogans are too lazy, stupid, defensive, to have even a miniscule inkling of self awareness, or introspection, and actually question their own part in Jaxxxxxxxxson, or Reayena’s unacceptable behaviour.

22 03 2010
James

Some bogan parents at my daughter’s school have two great sets of excuses for their awful son’s behaviour. Firstly, it is never his fault because kids keep dobbing on him for things he didn’t do. Secondly, they work fucken hard and couldn’t be fucked with discipline and shit. The school should really do something about it, without suspending him, or involving the parents in any way.

14 04 2014
Ienai

I love you

22 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Gold!

I get an image of Bylinda and Maxx jumping on the trampoline, foaming at the mouth while killing the neighbours cat.

22 03 2010
Bogue

I concur, although I envisage the cat being the same one they were just given for Christmas by their own useless parents.

22 03 2010
AlyssaKT

yes, if it’s their own Christmas cat they’re trying to kill, it’s soon to be discarded once it produces a litter anyway – after being given free roam of the neighbourhood, killing native birds and generally running amok.

Bogan topic – puppies and kittens for Christmas – discarded when they holiday to “Queensland” (Gold Coast) 6 months later.

23 03 2010
Sam

or discarded after 6 months because it hasn’t “house trained” itself.

23 03 2010
AlyssaKT

“stupid flea-ridden mongrel!”

The worse part of our disgust at their treatment of animals? These people have CHILDREN

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

right!

but you have to get a Licence
to own a gun…

I mean… ???

22 03 2010
Muz

My wife is a casual teacher so she gets sent to various schools as needs dictate.

Today she is teaching at Waterford (a Brisbane suburb, think Frankston, Mt Druitt etc..).

One of the girls in the class goes by the name ‘Summah’. (Spelling intentional!)

Another result of oxygen thieving parents. (No doubt salad dodgers as well.)

22 03 2010
Mezz

I think your wife will find there is also a sibling – Winntah

22 03 2010
Jason

Brilliant article once again.

In addition to apportioning blame to all and sundry for their child’s poor behaviour, by having them diagnosed with ADHD it also allows the bogan to secretly supplement their income by flogging off the “dexies” to local speed-freaks at $200 a bottle.

This is completely contradictory to their public opinion on drugs that you see in comments on news websites (another thing bogans like to do) and hear in large groups of other bogans; that “all druggies are scum” and should be “locked up for good”.

22 03 2010
Jo

I hate speed but those “dexies” are great!, without bogan parents selling their childs meds I would have to face the world sober *shivers”

22 03 2010
Mezz

TBL – Taking their kids ADHD meds..

14 04 2014
Ienai

Thats what I mean

22 03 2010
loftie

TEN Links to previous entries… a new TBL record…

22 03 2010
the trav

thats an X-Treme Record.

22 03 2010
Will S

Spot on, IMO. Ignoring one’s kids is a true bogan trait. As is buying them way too much rubbish at Christmas time to make up for the 364 days of ignoring them, lol.

22 03 2010
the trav

agree, and they spend up big on Wii’s PS3, Xbox, DVD’s, latest electronic gizmo, then complain loudly at the next bbq, that “kids now days dont spend anytime outside”

22 03 2010
Bogue

Ignoring the fact that the stainless steel 20 burner DeathMaster BBQ only just fit inside the boundaries of their 350sqm block, the house being 320sqm.

22 03 2010
Will S

I’ve seen low socioeconomic-status bogans buying their kids an Xbox and wii EACH, so they don’t have to share.

22 03 2010
Shirley M

We took my son to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary on the weekend and witnessed some quintessential examples of ‘ADHD’ bogan children. A young lady named Dakota was kicking an emu until her mother suggested she come over to us and ‘share’ the kangaroo food we had bought for our son.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Good grief. I guess it’s a small sacrifice to make, to prevent bogans from murdering the helpless wildlife.

22 03 2010
Shirley M

Can you imagine the fury that mother would have unleashed had the emu decided to kick the shit out Dakota?

22 03 2010
Simon

Did you see the guy on the weekend who got beaten up by a kangaroo whilst out for a jog. I think said animal needs a job in a petting zoo.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Belting Dakota perhaps?

22 03 2010
Simon

Or the parents, I’m not fussy.

22 03 2010
Bogue

It’d make you smile for a month, wouldn’t it?

22 03 2010
Simon

At least Bogue, at least.

22 03 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
you mean like in a nightclub?

22 03 2010
Simon

No, Kangaroos lack opposable thumbs to be able to handle the broken VB stubby James.

22 03 2010
Struct

It would’ve been Kevin Rudd’s fault. Or the left wing bleeding heart do-gooders.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Well, it’s the guvnments fault, it’s their national emblum that’s kickin’ the shit outta my kid!!!

22 03 2010
Frazer

Good call struct, i’ve never understood the bleeding hearts terminology. Should people be ashamed for caring? or is considered normal to be a c#nt?

22 03 2010
Simon

Frazer, depends if you are a bogan or not. Bogans don’t have feelings beyond outrage.

22 03 2010
James

Or do-gooders. Is there something wrong with doing good?

22 03 2010
pb

you make a good point james, just don’t bring it up with a bogan – they’ll either be confused or use it as an excuse for a glassing.

22 03 2010
James

I can at least take solace in the fact that Superman is a do-gooder. Let’s see the bogans glass him.

22 03 2010
pb

just so long as the don’t have the foresight to make that glass out of kryptonite.

1 03 2011
Ash - Glasser of Carnts

Bogans wouldn’t know what kryptonite is.

1 03 2011
AlyssaKT

der! Supa man hates it and shit

22 03 2010
Shirley M

“I think it’s wrong. There should a sign that says don’t kick the emus ’cause they might kick back. It’s an outrage!”

22 03 2010
James

“Quick, call ACA.”

22 03 2010
Joel

I’m a teacher in bogan-town, and you’re absolutely right on the money.

I find these days though that ADHD is a little bit better diagnosed than it used to be. The current bogan scapegoat condition is “Central Auditory Processing Disorder,” which is fancytalk for “little shit doesn’t listen.”

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’m surprised.
I thought autism spectrum disorders were in this season.
I really must keep up.

22 03 2010
Valo

Don’t forget ODD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, which is the bogue-spawns excuse for not listening to anything anyone says.

22 03 2010
Simon

The one I notice around the most is SPCCK. Also known as shit parent can’t control kids.

14 04 2014
Ienai

No thats old ADHD diagnosis

16 04 2014
James Hunter

Who said Oppositional Defence Disorder ? Is that not what Phoney Rabbit suffered from ?

14 04 2014
Ienai

You mean I can hope that scapegoating might be foisted off?
Oh god, I might even be happy for once!

22 03 2010
HappyFriend

How true! How depressing! Brilliant.

22 03 2010
loftie

It wasn’t Roberta Williams by any chance was it??
(ex-wife of convicted Murderer / Underbelly Posterboy Carl Williams)??
They have a child named Dhakota (I think? Spelling?!?!)

22 03 2010
loftie

I did try to link that reply to Shirley M – but it was the bottom of the page and didn’t happen…

22 03 2010
Shirley M

No it wasn’t her, but there’s a fair chance that this Dakota was named after that Dakota.

22 03 2010
elroncho

I’ve always thought A.D.D stood for Adult Discipline Disorder.

23 03 2010
Stepnerd

No, Attention Deficit Disorder is accurate, as evidenced by the fact that, if the parents start giving the child some positive attention, the symptoms disappear.
Shame they couldn’t be f*cked…

22 03 2010
Mezz

Brilliant TBL. Obvious but brilliant!

22 03 2010
WordNerd

I honestly don’t understand why bogans do certain things – most things for that matter. The one thing that baffles me the most is the deliberate misspelling of their kids’ names. Were it bad enough that Carl and Roberta Williams bred (strike 1), they named their kiddie Dakota (strike 2), but then spelled it Dhakota … on purpose (you’re out).
“The extra haitch is because she’s special,” said Roberta, probably.
I’d think they were being post-modern, or self-referential, or cryptic (Inglourious Basterds-style), but I’d have to explain to them what all three of those concepts actually meant.
I once saw in the pages of the Hun that Mrs Williams has written a book (one more than she’s read in all likelihood) and claims that one Christmas day, when she was then heavily pregnant with the child later to be named (and then deliberately misspelled for the Peace Garden State or the Mt Rushmore State, if you’re more southerly), chased after Carl who was having what in all likelihood was a few Jim Beam and Cokes at the home of his bit on the side. Apparently Carl brandished a gun and started shooting at her. Season’s greetings.
I hate to be negative (said with a straight face), but I can’t imagine this act was not a kind and generous one for both mother and child. The kid will in all likelihood end up marrying an equally r-tarded-named kiddie (Jyden? Pantha? Sharrod?) and at the reception toast her parents while drinking from an ice sculpted fountain in the shape of a dolphin shooting bourbon out of its blowhole.
Then she’ll be on Dancing with the Stars.

22 03 2010
Bogue

“Oh Carl” said Roberta to her friends over chicken and (Yellow) champagne lunch. “He’s such a card. Remember that Christmas when he shot me in the back?”. I wonder how Carl’s going in jail, without his ‘piece’?

22 03 2010
berihebi

I think you’re about a 108 posts late with this entry WordNerd. Pay attention and try to keep up buddy :)

22 03 2010
Bogue

What is the subject matter of this thread again. ;-)

22 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

“the extra haitch”.

Sadly not purely a bogan trait. “Haitch” infests entire states and makes my ‘ead ‘urt.’

22 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Yes, I don’t recall ever being taught at school that it’s “aitch” not “haitch” but my mother ensured I knew.

22 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

I can’t help feeling it started because there were so many kids who were lazy pronouncing their Hs, and had it drummed into them in some bastardised, inverted, hellish mating of onomatopoeia and phonics.

22 03 2010
Shirley M

We can blame the catholics for ‘haitch’.

Irish catholic schools started teaching ‘haitch’ a long time ago, and using them as a benchmark, catholic schools worldwide followed suit.

Typical.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Don’t you mean ‘haitchred’?

22 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

Catholic Church, you say?

So I was partly right then, it was a bastardised, inverted, hellishness?

These are the things that make you go “hmmm…”

22 03 2010
Antosha

At my highschool we had an English teacher – from England. If anyone said ‘Haitch’ a well aimed blackboard duster would be airborne in 0.3 seconds.

22 03 2010
Claire

Another brilliant entry TBL. Well done.

I wonder if there’s been a study linking babies who drank coke from the bottle and the prevalence of ADHD? Hmmm…

22 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Soccer ‘hero’ Tim Cahill was on Sunday Night yesterday. During the interview at his home his toddler daughter appears telling him that there’s no more Coke by saying “drank Coke, drank Coke!” which he translated to “Is all of the Coke gone? Do you want more?”
I suppose I shouldn’t expect any different from an international soccer star than I do from our local footy players. But still. Definitely NaB with money.

22 03 2010
Simon

Real bogan children drink huge Mother cans, coke is for poofs aye.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Fark oath…if my toddler saw another toddler skullin’ a Coke at childcare, he can the c**t.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Priceless!

How about we run a sweep on how long it takes for news ltd to come up with a story on the first pre teen ADHD glassing.

22 03 2010
Bogue

I thought the bullied 14 year old who, when teased about his taste in music, held a knife to a fellow students throat and said (reportedly) “three strikes, you’re out” was pretty close. I know I shouldn’t, but I did loud (OL) when I read it and said to myself “someone’s been spending too long on the Xbox”.

23 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

*shiver*
right. forgot that one.
It always seems anything we can imagine pales beside the awful truth.

14 04 2014
Ienai

I was forced to work at a donut shop when I first immigrated.
They shovel frosting slathered donuts, red cordial, and coke down these kids, like it was good for them.
Add brekkie cereal- sugar, sugar and sugar being the main three ingredients , a malnourished brain ( lack of proper neurtransmitters ) , lollies ( kiddy cocaine )-
who needs crack?

22 03 2010
James

Would that make him a NaCUB?

22 03 2010
Bogue

Definately a winner of the NaB Cup, I’d say.

23 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

erk!

Caught watching Sunday Night!

: P

(strictly for research I’m sure…)

23 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Haha – thank you, I’m surprised it took so long for someone to say that. I would have been disappointed otherwise.
No, I was on my way out for dinner and my flatmate was watching it. I said “oh, Coke at her age, what a great idea” just before I closed the door behind me.

14 04 2014
Ienai

Ive seen mothers pour coke in BABIES bottles.
Plus such winners as, ” What lollies do you recommend for a baby of 5 months?”( David Jones food hall, 5 yrs ).
One wonders, do their teeth fall out BEFORE they actually are supposed to? does anyone even notice?
( new trending – children’s dentures . Let’s get started folks, we can corner the market!)

22 03 2010
Robbie

another fantastic post….TBL’s facsinating daily insight into the bogan is a ‘must have’ survival guide :P

22 03 2010
loftie

Its getting so large – you’ll need a forklift or wheelbarrow to carry it around…

22 03 2010
Bogue

Possibly a TBL App for ones iPhone?

22 03 2010
Robbie

a TBL iPhone app..now that’s cooking with gas! :P

22 03 2010
Simon

Yeah, bogans love iphone apps, and we could really get some outrage going when the bogans log on and get canned (hey bogue).

22 03 2010
Bogue

Or worse, iPhoned! I can just see the stand-off now, outside the West Terrace Hungry Jacks, two vicious youths alight from their heavily modified JDM drift machines, brandishing broken iPhones in a telecommunications fight to the death!

22 03 2010
Robbie

and their bogue mates will film the melee on their iPhone and upload it straight onto the ACA website

23 03 2010
R.Belka

And then ACA will say that:

Is this how society has been reduced to?

All the while blaming society, UFC and violent video games.

22 03 2010
dmc

ADHD – the perfect defence on your first visit to court.

22 03 2010
the trav

and second, and third etc etc.

22 03 2010
Em

aaah at last – thank you for highlighting the horrible nature of parent-teacher interviews. As a teacher who has been forced to suffer bogue teenagers and bogue parents in the past, it is nice to have this horrible experience finally pointed out (in contrary to the Herald Sun, which constantly indicates that us teachers are just lazy, overpaid, under-trained elements of a failing education system).

And you got it spot on with the finger pointing and storming out!

22 03 2010
Muz

You forgot over-holidayed!

22 03 2010
pb

and they barely work – finishing at 3pm, after all. because of course there’s no need to prepare lessons or mark students’ work or anything.

22 03 2010
Keeping Kosher Klansman

Anothewr excellent post. “DISORDER! DISORDER! DISAAAAWDERRRERR!!”

Things Bogans Liked in 2002: System of a Down.

I think Serj might have ADHD, what with his indecipherable mile-a-minute ranting and inability to stay still…

If only the nouveau bogue would take his advice and commit “self-righteous suicide”… perhaps by self-administered pint glass to the temple. And if it doesn’t work the first time, show some uncharacteristic stick-to-it-iveness – try and try again. Now that would make a good youtube clip… courtesy of the good, disclosure-happy folks at the ICO.

Things Bogans are Ambiguous About: CCTV.

A Current Affair gets half their material from it… but it impedes the bogue’s “Freedom of Speech” (AKA Freedom to Glass a C*nt and not get caught).

Good Lord. A few of the blog authors were out at lunch together when this comment was made (yes, we were actually at a gritty cafe up a dank staircase off a Melbourne CBD alley), and one of us was parodying the lyrics of this very song during a conversation about a girlfriend taking exception to the smell of new manchester at 2am this morning. “Somewhere between the sacred silence, sacred silence and sleep”, indeed. TBL

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. This is definitely one of TBL’s better efforts.

22 03 2010
ThePineapple

things were going along nicely..until you had to post.

LOL this.

I think wordpress has a plugin that allows you to ignore comments..TBL could you please activate it???

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It would be great to consign you to the lesser area of WordPress – the ignore list.

22 03 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Since you and I edit the “ignore list” we can simply add his name

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. If I had any control over the ignore list, you’d be on it!

22 03 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
love you love your work

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I know. Don’t and thanks. In that order.

22 03 2010
Shirley M

The Fiona kowtowing is a bit weird, James.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I know, make him stop.

Also, apropos your previous point, may I direct your attention to the works of Thomas Malthus in his “Principles of Population”?

22 03 2010
Shirley M

Yes. The corn laws dude. He does make some valid points.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m more into his theory of economic rents myself.

14 04 2014
Ienai

He was proven invalid ages ago, sadly.

22 03 2010
James Hunter

Fi, the only response to that would be”belt”up !!!LOL

22 03 2010
Simon of South Yarra

ADHD – the excuse for brattish behaviour because parents are too lazy to raise the child properly.

ADHD drugs – the little tackers learning to be dealers in primary school

Bogan childhood maladies inc peanut allergies are the direct result of not letting kids outdoors to burn off energy and get healthy by eating correctly

22 03 2010
the trav

TBL – any chance of getting a proper internet forum, the comments section inevitably ends up going off topic.

just ask father to advance you some of your trust fund allowance, and upgrade the site.

22 03 2010
Suzi

ROLF harris!

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Babars House!

22 03 2010
Tone

That’s what the TBL Facebook group is for. That, and virtual glassings.

22 03 2010
BG

“…the bogan is prone to taking shortcuts on other things to ensure that it can fit in the viewing of a Twenty/Twenty cricket game before going to the pub to watch a cover band butcher “Sex on Fire”.”

point taken, however i am a little bit worried about the implied notion that there is in fact anything of substance in Sex on Fire to be butchered in the first place which seems to contradict http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2009/12/04/40-and-41-commercial-radio-kings-of-leon/

22 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I thought that too. But concluded that everything can be butchered.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Like so…

22 03 2010
Muz

Anyone who has watched ‘Arrested Development’ will find this even funnier.

22 03 2010
JimC

That’s still better than Madonna’s cover of ‘American Pie’.

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And Celine Dion’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wJTGEHwfVg

22 03 2010
Whistling Nixie

Or Paul Young’s (extreme?) rendition of Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart”.

24 03 2010
Loretta

no way?

14 04 2014
Ienai

(feel of vomit sliding up)

22 03 2010
the trav

when you dont have a glass handy whats the next best thing…

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/man-charged-after-allegedly-biting-part-of-mans-ear-off-in-brawl/story-e6frf7jo-1225843693023

“WOMAN has posted a picture of a man’s ear on Facebook after it was allegedly bitten off in a brawl in Geelong early yesterday morning.”

22 03 2010
Mezz

ADHD Kiddies – Hmmm

Does anyone think that the prescribing Doctors have anything to answer for here? They should know better than most that the diet/lifestyle/parenting choices bogan parents are making on their kids behalf are the reason for the erratic behaviour which “needs medicating”.

I think it’s a sad state of affairs indeed. The bogan parent (who I concede should be sterilised at birth) is not expected to know any better when it comes to what’s good for their bogan progeny. I think that ultimately some people shouldn’t have kids but society does alot to facilitate this phenomenon as it does with many other bogan symptoms which are becoming a bigger shit stain on the unudies of society every day..

The teachers (bogan offspring babysitters) are the ones who suffer.

22 03 2010
Mezz

Typo – shit stain on the undies* of society

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

hold on Mezz, could be a market for Unudies if you can get the branding right…

22 03 2010
Mezz

Can we incorporate an X or two into the name? – That should do it.

22 03 2010
Simon

For the huge bogan sizing will start at X, that should fix it. “Unudies – Putting the X into large”

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Niiiice. You must be in marketing.

14 04 2014
Ienai

gold

22 03 2010
Milky

I agree, Im a pharmacist on the north shore of Sydney, thus charged with holding the prescriptions of said ADHD meds for the monthly refill, and even in this wealthy, somewhat non-bogan heavy demographic, the file is literally the size of a phone book. I can imagine in the western suburbs they’d have to employ someone whose only job is looking after the C*nc*rta scripts….

22 03 2010
AlyssaKT

The only difference – your families probably pay more than $3 for their scripts (or whatever the going rate for Health Care Card holders is these days). Having money doesn’t make someone non-bogan though…

23 03 2010
Phil

You are wrong there is nothing wrong with the way doctors perscribe drugs. You have to understand that there are some parents in this world with zero morals who will make up an illness to cover up their own bad parenting.
As someone who had ODD during my youth (which is actually worse than ADHD in terms of trying to learn), my doctor prescibed ritalin and recommended listening and speech therapy lessons. Only ADHD sufferers are proscribed just ritalin as far as I know and the treatment does work if taken properly. Makes me angry that there are so many kids in school today who use this an excuse for any poor grades that they have, and its not just bogans it’s anyone who believes they have a devine right to be the smartest pupil in school.

24 03 2010
pinky has a brain

Yeah it’s called ‘Munchhausen by proxy’…It’s a tough one for all in the medical industry.

14 04 2014
Ienai

Ritalin doesnt work whatsoever. Nor does Adderal or Concerta.
All bogus.
Only Dex is concistent ( sp?) over spectrum of ADHD but NOOO
its OFF PATENT.

22 03 2010
Nelson Esq

One thing worse than 1 bogan child with ‘ADHD’…a whole gang of bogans with ADHD..

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/turn-in-the-riot-ringleaders-of-bob-jane-t-mart-oakleigh-trashing-now-police-plead/story-e6frf7jo-1225843490668

ADHD = bogan for ‘lack of discipline’

22 03 2010
Bogue

These people obviously need more drugs, look at what ADHD is doing to their lives! Oakleigh (great name for a child) residents would have slept to the sound of beaten spouses that night, no doubt. However, the whole ‘event’ must be sensational fodder for ‘shock jocks’…bogan radio personalities would be screaming over the airwaves to their bogan listeners, to dob in fellow bogans revheads before they kill innocent bogan children with their senseless X bogan behaviour. And so the cycle continues.

22 03 2010
S

I was wondering when someone would bring this up. It is very scary how close to the surface the bogan’s bloodlust can be.

22 03 2010
toony

Only in a gang tho’…. :)

22 03 2010
22 03 2010
James Hunter

Our “Australian Bogan Begone” party will make Ritelin free for Bogans,with a secrete added ingreadiant that causes sterility at puberty.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

James. You are a solutions man. While the rest of us are just sitting around whining you’ve been hard at it down in the tool shed. Genius.

22 03 2010
Mezz

Sign me up – Sign me up now!!!

22 03 2010
S

This is excellent. I’ve been asking for solutions… A Gattaca-style society with the bogans at the bottom has its appeal.

22 03 2010
Bogue

Any attempts by the bogan population to get ahead will be chopped off at the legs!

22 03 2010
Simon

I shall get straight onto publicity James. All suggestions appreciated.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

how about “take the pills or we won’t do another season of underbelly?”

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

bugger.
that was lame.

22 03 2010
Simon

You’re not in marketing chubby?

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

no.

I’m a

*gasp*

Tradie.

(winces)

23 03 2010
Simon

It’s ok you are with friends chubby, except perhaps Fiona who can be brutal on Tradies. I’m not in marketing either but perhaps I have a fall back position. After reading TBL I reckon marketing is a piece of piss.

23 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

damn right.
I had some friends working for a major ad agency in sydney a few years ago.
I used to drop in on friday afternoons for the staffies session. a lot of good material came out of sitting around the boardroom table indulging the sponsors products (Carlton and United, Yalumba and Smiths Crisps or APD if memory serves). I think I was instrumental in an internal ad campaign for a car company. It all looked like a piece o’ cake to me. requisite skills seemed to be confined advanced banter and photoshop.

23 03 2010
ant

That wasn’t lame, that was bloody good! They’ll do anything for more Underbelly.

14 04 2014
Ienai

I shudder to think, what Dex does to NON ADHD kids.
Its speed for you normals.
No wonder kids are going troppo.
All it does to me, is make studying chemistry REALLY fascinating ( and thus having forgot this eve, many many posts wasting my life away tick tick tick
I love you people. Bloody Brilliant.

22 03 2010
the trav

I think my kids have ADHD, they like to run, jump laugh and play, why wont they just sit a be quite little zombies like normal kids?

22 03 2010
pinky has a brain

Do any of the Bogan Parents bother to get an actual diagnosis? Or do they just say it? I know a few kids with diagnosed ADHD and their parents really do struggle. On the other hand I did point out to one Classic-Bogan mother that maybe Coke for her ADHD child wasn’t her best idea. She came back to me all surprised “I’ve stopped buying coke, and he’s improved!!” HAHAHA “You don’t say…” was my response.

Great Post, so funny.

22 03 2010
Mezz

Some do get a misdiagnosis. And a yrs supply of Dexamphetamine. Your above portrait of the classic bogan mother is common place unfortunately..

Good on you for saying something – I hope she felt half as stupid as she seems to be..

22 03 2010
Snag

Yes, it was good of you to mention something, especially because you were risking a severe glassing just by giving some advice (which is so often taken as harsh criticism by bogans).

22 03 2010
pinky has a brain

I had too, I’m the medical industry and feel that I should at least try. She is a friend of mine through our kids, she is a really good person, but under all the misguidance of generational boganism, she just doesn’t understand how food colourings effect children. She thinks I’m a hard arse because I wont let my 8 and 10 year old drink coke. I also have strong beliefs about my kids eating healthy food and she is shocked when they ask for an apple to eat. I’m changing the world…one bogan at a time… okay I’m trying my best to change ONE bogan…

23 03 2010
Nelson Esq

Changing the world one bogan at a time. Great to see that you’re contributing to the de-boganisation of Australian society, Pinky. Perhaps if all of us non-bogues created an ‘adopt-a-bogan’ charity, (call it Non-bogue Vision??) aimed at converting bogans into normal law abiding human beings who contribute something positive to society, we’d all be so much better off. Maybe we could get the Comedy Gala to raise money for us instead of Oxfam!

27 12 2010
Ash - Maxxtreme To The Maxx

Will this charity have private insurance for glassing injuries?

22 03 2010
devil's advocate

It’s somewhat ironic that (traditional) martial arts training can ameliorate (and in 1 case I’m aware of, eliminate) many of the symptoms of ADHD. Having to concentrate, develop physical coordination, and follow instructions is very difficult for some kids at first but with perseverance (and sometimes additional pushups) they eventually fall into line. And by the time the parents pick them up from training they are too knackered to misbehave.

So (to the extent that the MMA post relates to martial arts training generally) maybe two bogan things can cancel each other out.

29 03 2010
Annette

For sure. Bogan children are programmed from birth to inertly accept an endless stream of new ‘information’ from their nanny, the TV, day in and day out. They have no capacity to focus for any length of time as it changes their brain structure. Could it be that there are no real bogans – that, rather than a sub-species of homo erectus, they may, in fact, be…

*gasp*

US

14 04 2014
Ienai

And Ballet.
Great for Mindfull-ness ( ADHD form of meditation, focused movement. One hopes in time, I stop having spastic limbs that tend to limit home decoration to what resembles padding it out for old blind people.

22 03 2010
James Hunter

Fiona,
Your comment re the 99″ plasma TV.
Better yet lets build 99″ Cathode Ray Tube TVs. God at the size there would be enough Xrays comming out of them we could sterilise whole flocks of them?

22 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Good idea. Please go do that and test it on yourself.

22 03 2010
Lee

I think there is a few people on the FB page that would openly claim to having (cough) ADHD or ADD.

22 03 2010
Bogue

I hope they Twittered in the comments.

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Is there a difference? (ADD/ADHD)?

facebook is Bogan.

Huuuge proliferation of “Eff Off We’re fulls” & “Aussie Prides”
scares me.

I believe that the disorder was retitled to better reflect the symptoms. TBL

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Ta.

22 03 2010
pinky has a brain

Actually they are two separate disorders. ADHD has a hyperactivity component which doesn’t exist in ADD. One has more to do with just concentration and the other is hyperactivity (clinical) and concentration in a kind of super mental combination. They are under the same treatment frame work. :D

22 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Ta again.

I must be the second one : )

23 03 2010
pinky has a brain

No worries Chubby, I am here for all your mental health needs :D

14 04 2014
Ienai

Yes.
ADD- dreamy expression, ” Houstin we have a problem, Earth to Ienai, Earth to Ienai,” VS ” Tie that bitch down, so she can study Calculus like GOOD children!”

22 03 2010
Snag

Great post TBL. It’s kids like this that put me off learning to be a teacher. Teaching kids would be great, but so many don’t actually want to be there, and therefore decide that disrupting everyone is a good option instead. I won’t even go into details about dealing with the parents. Stuff of nightmares.

22 03 2010
Peter

I am never sure whether ADHD is an entirely different disorder to the disorder that was once the buzzword in disorders: ADD. I mourn the passing of ADD – or at least its use in describing bad parenting. Another Dumb Disorder was a handy put down acronym directed at bogan breeders who chose to overlook their offspring’s appalling, antisocial behaviour.

22 03 2010
Fiona

I always thought rich people had kids with ADHD and poor people merely had kids with foetal alcohol syndrome. Perhaps some bogans would be right to glass the female of the species in the uterine region and the in the space where testes would be in normal men to save us from future generations of bogans. But then again we need bogans to lay our high speed cable to run our intertubes!

It seems we need to take this chance to remind people again that we do not classify the bogan as one who is rich or poor, educated or not, or hold a certain job. Bogan is as bogan does. TBL

24 03 2010
Loretta

Hey! I resemble that remark!

(directed at Fiona, not the burning bush)

14 04 2014
Ienai

Foetal alcohol syndrome isnt the cause. Its genetically linked to father’s portion of genes.( Latest news in science. Poor Dad. I KNOW he’s wierd but I thought he had Aspergers. Genius and saddled with Speedy Gonzales for a daughter. Never shut up for 30 years.)
Specific ( and I mean very ) patterns of grades, behavior, sleep.
Stupid kids dont get A++, or ace Algebra exams because their father taught them non-Euclidean Geometry ( thus, far far past such drivel as 9th grade algerbra) or produce offspring that fail maths, but are reading on a Uni level in 4ht grade ( and read at age 3, because parents were sick to fuck of clamoring for “more book, more book!”
To give you my example.
Plus no characteristic malformation. Just traceable brain scans.
Its not yet determined to be caused by anything.
But hey, what if its a evolutionary adaptation?
Even I cant stand being around ADHD people ( know microphone feedback, try having that in your BRAIN> good thing we are quick, or it would be like Cronenburg’s “Scanners.” :D
Maybe you can get some funding to raise me as a secret Bogan weapon.
I’d enjoy that, even more so if I could be dressed goth while I did so.hehehe

16 04 2014
James Hunter

I.m lexdyslic does that count ?

22 03 2010
Sammie

I was so surprised about the media inflated frenzy over ADHD and autism in Australia. When I returned home to Brisbane from years abroad it seemed everyone I knew who had children were suddenly freaking out about their kids having ADD or some form of autism. I have NEVER even heard of these issues from any of my friends back in Asia. Their children would always stay quiet or read or just hold a friendly conversation, as opposed to Caydance (Yes that is in fact her name) who would run around and tip food on me at BBQs and run away laughing hysterically or hitting me. When I mentioned my experience of expat children or Asian children to my friends I was told “They have no personality!” …

22 03 2010
Whistling Nixie

Actually, children with austism spectrum disorders are at least as likely to be at the receiving end of other children’s misbehaviour, as they are to misbehave themselves.

23 03 2010
Laura

Mm-hmm, hearing ya. Observed the very same thing while abroad, in Asia and elsewhere.

Caydance….good grief. I’m sure the child’s dulcet tones while shrieking away at the barbeques as she struck you just smacked of cadence.

23 03 2010
Phil

People like you need to show some compassion.
What you have to understand is that ADHD, ODD, Autism and other mental illnesses can be aquired through life as well as having it at birth.
It’s all very well to make fun of these kids but you should feel sorry for them. Imagine of you were 6 years old about to start Primary School and your unpringing consists of watching your father swear, act violently or threaten voilence and coming home drunk which makes you think it’s the right way to behave so you copy him. Your mother never disciplines you no matter how much you scream or hit other kids. You would develop a serious disorder yourself in such unacceptable living conditions.

23 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

For god’s sake don’t let an autistic (and especially not an Aspie) hear you align austism with mental illness.

23 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Aspies.

23 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

You do that, or talk about finding a ‘cure’ for their condition and they crank up their stereo systems for a full frontal attack of My Dying Bride and Type O Negative. Both can have serious health-negative effects on the non-Aspie.

23 03 2010
urbanreverie

Well, why should Aspies be cured? People these days can’t get away with saying gays & lesbians should be ‘cured’ or left-handed people should be ‘cured’ or Bulldogs fans should be ‘cured’ without risking social opprobium. So what makes it OK to say people with Asperger’s should be ‘cured’?

Was that My Dying Bride enough for you? :)

Sort of back on topic – Aspies would have to be the least bogan people I’ve ever met, regardless of their individual socio-economic background. Probably because they don’t feel the need to indulge in the mediocre conformity that is the hallmark of the bogan. They are too individualistic in their thoughts and opinions.

23 03 2010
pinky has a brain

THERE IS NO CURE ONLY MANAGEMENT!!! This whole ‘cure’ bizzo drives me nuts! Or nuttier I should say.

23 03 2010
Whistling Nixie

Exactly! For an Aspie, to have to live in a bogan area, or be surrounded by bogans at school or work, is utterly soul-destroying.

23 03 2010
AlyssaKT

John Doyle appeared to do exactly that last night on Q & A. He was asked about the mental health system’s shortcomings regarding people with mental illness and responded by speaking about his autistic sister… :/

23 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

we love you Roy!

I so dig on qanda.
what gems it turns up.

14 04 2014
Ienai

Its not ADHD if its a aquired. That’s nutritional issues or somesuch. ADHD is genetic.
Don’t start confusing the issue, you make it HARD for us with it.
Don’t make me come over there!Focus!

23 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

Ill Asians are locked away from public view. No shit.

23 03 2010
Laura

“One of the things that regularly get short-changed by the bogan is the adequate raising of its children.” :P

Yet another top-notch article, TBL! Utterly on the mark.

23 03 2010
JimC

This post (indeed, this whole website) brings into stark relief the one overwhelming credo of boganity. And that is that the bogan can never be blamed for anything that happens to it, or for what it does to someone else.

It’s always “some uvver cunt”. I mean, of course it is! A Current Affair tells them so ever night.

23 03 2010
vix

… and (of course) the bogan will squarely lay the blame on the police for the bad and/or criminal behaviour of its spawn …

23 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

I love this time of the morning.

…anticipation builds.

clock ticks on.

23 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

not to mention virginia trioli.

the sexual man’s thinking symbol.

(sorry for treating this like a forum)

23 03 2010
ros

While there certainly are parents who don’t teach their children manners etc, ADHD does exist. I would never have believed this until I had my own son. No matter WHAT my husband and I did, from increasing discipline measures, to strict routines, to social stories and so on, nothing changed his behaviour. To make matters worse we had to endure the entire community’s opprobrium. We were suspected of everything your article describes. Part of our extended family no longer speaks to us. We had to endure being interrogated over and over by the school and other health professionals. In the end he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, but the three years without that diagnosis were the worst in our lives. The damage has been done, and so many people deserted us with the same attitudes that most people have here. I went from a confident, successful person to one who barely wanted to leave the house. I believe that some children – in fact most who act this way – have some sort of brain disorder. The pressure on the parent, especially the mother, is phenomenal. Please have some compassion, and thank your lucky stars this did not happen to you.

23 03 2010
ros

I would like to add to the post I made above, that most people scoffing at ADHD and blaming parents are actually …. …. bogans. Yup! That has been my experience from years of watching and hearing people’s attitudes towards our son. The more educated, ‘thinking’ people are more inclined to take a lateral view of what is happening with a child, uninfluenced by pop-culture.

23 03 2010
James

Like with most other posts on this site (with the likely exclusion of Zoo Weekly), there is no direct connection between the subject and boganity. There is an inverse connection though – one between boganity and the subject. Certainly, there would be genuine cases of ADHD (assuming it is a genuine thing and not a combination of other factors, which is currently under debate), but the commentary such as it is here is more focused on the bogan tendency to use ADHD as an excuse for their poor parenting, or terrible children, rather than ADHD tending to affect bogans more than other sections of society.

23 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Well said, James.
Ros, as with the Food Allergies article, this article does not claim that ADHD is purely bogan and fictional – just that bogans have a well-documented habit of claiming such afflictions to please themselves.
Unfortunately this means that people who actually have ADHD (or the aforementioned food allergies) are treated less and less seriously.
I’m sorry to hear that your son has had/is having difficulties – judging by your post you are not the kind of parents we’re discussing.
Sorry that you believed we meant you, or anyone else who truly does have issues like these, that is not the intention whatsoever.

24 03 2010
Bogue

If you’re not giving your child Coke, you’ve got nothing to be offended by on this forum, have you?

24 03 2010
pinky has a brain

ros,
I am so sorry that you had to experience this. Please don’t take this post to heart, we are talking about people whose kids DON’T have these disorders but use them as an excuse for not having to try at all. Asperger’s Syndrome is one of the cruelest disorders I have come across professionally and it doesn’t help that it and nearly all mental illnesses are totally misunderstood. I hope that treatment is working for your son and that you drop the word ‘discrimination’ as much as possible when people are being ignorant. It works…trust me

24 03 2010
Whistling Nixie

Yes, those with Asperger’s Syndrome fall between the cracks, because it’s an “invisible” disability. On one hand, you get mistreated on the grounds of there being “something not quite right” about you; then you face assumptions that you’re lazy or wanting special treatment, on the grounds of it not being a “real” disability but a “trendy excuse” (never mind that it’s been known about since the 1940s at the latest!).

15 04 2010
JacJacJacqui

Did you try a good swift smack in the mouth? Worked for me.

14 04 2014
Ienai

Your very brave. ADHD war survivor grants you” compassion beyond the call of duty” and “bravery in battle.”
Aspergers’ people can be great fun and really clever! Ive two friends I adore with that! They are both experts on music, and do nothing but- review, play, etc.
Dad became a acting vice president of a major pharma company ( the death star!) – he;s most certainly got that and ADD.
As one truly lovely, wonderful lady ( and rather nervous as well, but Im queen of nervousness, Im like a bloody chihuahua sometimes, christ)- ” I make my OCD work for ME.”
They have a silver lining, these things. ( Truly fab psychologist, told me “embrace your disorder!”
Hell yes, I’m like a cyborg for research online! Jack into the matrix ( to quote a long ago 90’s slogan.)

23 03 2010
ros

>Unfortunately this means that people who actually have ADHD (or the >aforementioned food allergies) are treated less and less seriously.

Good point!

We agree. TBL

23 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

In support of James and Alyssa,
I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m ADD.
Diagnosed at age 42.
Please don’t take offense.
Stick around and you’ll get the joke.

smiley

23 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh, chubby, you would be all the more endearing to me if your name wasn’t so graphic in a not-so-pretty way. Of course, it’s not up to me to tell you your name doesn’t match your persona – but I see you as a more witty and fun descriptive :) (smiley)

24 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

thanks Alyssa.

mayhap you’re right. my name might be dragging the tone down slightly.

henceforth I will be skinnybloodfart.

ta.

24 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Haha – much better!

24 03 2010
Loretta

Stan: “I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta.”

The Life of Brian.

23 03 2010
Jodie

Notice there’s no such thing as “brats” anymore?

23 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Ha! i just used the term on the weekend – but it was to describe a young cousin of mine (whose parents have not claimed him to be suffering of any affliction). But yes, I certainly have not heard it uttered from the mouths of anyone else in years…

24 03 2010
Whistling Nixie

Here’s a brat… or more precisely, a Brrrattt…

http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=2729714863

15 04 2010
JacJacJacqui

Yes there are! They made them into ugly little dolls with oversized heads and undersized waistlines for little girls to aspire to (and they wonder why young girls look like lollipops these days)!

25 03 2010
Brandon

This politically incorrect (not to mention, stupid). I know wealthy, aristocratic people who live in million dollar homes in wealthy suburbs who have children that have been diagnosed with ADHD.
Laughing at somebody’s misfortune is laughing at your own stupidity. While you’ve had some good posts in the past, I’ll have to forsake a few laughs. I won’t be visiting this blog again. Thanks.

25 03 2010
AlyssaKT

That’s good to hear – you don’t get it.
No one said ADHD was bogan – it’s bogan to pretend your kids have ADHD. It’s not bogan to truly have it.

14 04 2014
Ienai

well said!
And If we cant laugh at it, well fuck- you laugh at it! I mean, ADHD can be TRULY funny. Look at Noel Fielding ( Mighty Boosh, Luxury Comedy.)
Just dont misuse the term and we wont have to kill you

17 04 2014
AlyssaKT

Ienai, last night was one of those occasions when I wished I didn’t receive notifications for follow-up comments via email. You made around 35 comments – that’s 35 emails. Pretty hectic!

17 04 2014
James Hunter

Hi AlyssaKT I made it 33 notifications !!

17 04 2014
alyssakt

Hi James :)

Haha – actually, Ienai may have made 33 comments, by your count, but YOUR comments made it 35 notifications!! ;)

Between us that’s now reached 38 :)

17 04 2014
James Hunter

Bugger !!

26 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Bye!

26 03 2010
Jodie

And of course there are no overindulged, wealthy brats who are misdiagnosed because their parents refuse to discipline them… It’s not unique to bogans.

Look, I’m not saying the condition doesn’t exist. I know it does. But it is grossly overdiagnosed because it seems no-one these days is willing to say, “my kid doesn’t have a disorder, he’s just being a little shit.” My favourite disorder du jour is “oppositional defiant disorder”. Pffffffffft.

25 03 2010
Brandon

*is

5 01 2011
Sunzi

this is by far my favourite bogan like. I feel sorry for all those kids put onto meds.

24 04 2011
Amy

I don’t think it’s a case of bogans parents looking to shift the blame away from themselves.

Tendency toward ADHD is more common in low socio economic areas, as these kids are more likely to do poorly at school and end up in low skilled jobs, and then repeat the cycle by having kids and passing on the same genes.

So it’s more a case of nature than nurture. Bogans are intrinsically hardwired in certain ways. They ARE more likely to have lower IQ, adhd, brain damage, poor nutrition – all kinds of different things in comparison to people that are more intellectual, more affluent etc.

Its a whole different set of genes, which leads to the different culture and mentality…..

31 10 2011
Paul

As an adult sufferer of the disorder (and a mild sufferer) I think this article is absolutely spon on. My parents at any given opportunity stuck their foot in my ass – discipline was maxtreeeme in my house. Yet I still had the demonstrable signs of ADD/ADHD and I was diagnosed with it. The medication has and does help me to concentrate when I am work or studying (and I am currently working on my masters) however there are far too many children who just do with a good smack every now and again to sort them out rather than a bottle of pill with the words ritalin printed on the side (which by the way to a great extent is nothing short of a placebo).

31 10 2011
James Hunter

Paul,
Ritalin is just like a legal form of speed’
it’s mainly given to kids to make the ineffectual parents feel better.

29 03 2012
Jean

I am a bit confused on your discussion. Why blame the parents and teachers if the child really has ADHD? Rather than blaming one another why don’t you work together to make a solution, wouldn’t it be better?

2 04 2012
AlyssaKT

I don’t think you’re on the right website, Jean.

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