#95 – Freedom of Speech

1 03 2010

Despite its understanding of patriotism being limited to Southern Cross tattoos, hating whoever the Prime Minister is, and the unwitting embrace of foreign cultural norms , the bogan cherishes each and every thing that it has seen in Australia’s Bill of Rights. No item in this Bill of Rights is more important to the bogan than its right to freedom of speech. The bogan pauses to consider this, and then loudly pronounces something additional about its rights, and how freedom of speech is also in the Constitution. The bogan is a poor student of political history, as it is too busy being x-treme in the present. X-tremely free in its speech.

The boganic interpretation of this alleged freedom of speech allows the bogan to both internally and verbally condone the way that it is. It is proud to be uninformed, impulsive, and vulgar, and it can’t wait to exercise its divine entitlement to tell everyone all about it. As such an eclectic creature, this freedom takes many forms. Examples include loudly berating retail staff, undertaking heated domestic arguments in public, initiating 80 decibel phone conversations on public transport, participating in gutter journalism opinion polls, and proactively offering xenophobic or poorly considered opinions on society to whoever makes fleeting eye contact with the bogan. Triggering the bogan’s freedom of speech with this glance produces a similar feeling of regret to accidentally using the word “walk” in a conversation within earshot of an attentive and easily excitable dog.

While certain that it should be a beneficiary of free speech, the bogan is equally adamant that they should not be a recipient of it. The bogan reacts poorly to a non-bogan passing judgement on it, angrily discrediting the opinion offered to it as political correctness gone mad, or some sort of cultural elitism that must be crushed. This also extends to criticism of its discombobulated tXt-speak, because literacy is a detestable condition confined to the enemies of the bogan. Evidently, this powerful freedom of speech wielded by the bogan has not sufficiently motivated it to learn to speak well. It reserves the right to speak in misnomers, flawed syllogisms, and malapropisms, and not have anyone point this out to it.

Eventually, it becomes clear that to the bogan, freedom of speech is primarily confined to its own right to yell over the top of someone else, until it becomes agitated enough to glass them for being a cunt.


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180 responses

1 03 2010
Olly

Brilliant post! Why is it that the least informed have the most to say?

1 03 2010
Simon of South Yarra

The expression is – empty vessels make the most sound

1 12 2010
Seth Brundle

I think you mean “The empty can rattles the most”

1 03 2010
FT

Hahahahahaha, great one, TBL!

As a non-bogue with qualifications in both political science and law, it frustrates me no end to hear ignorant bogans quote our “constitutional right to free speech”.

Although, I think it’s even more frustrating to hear them ‘cleverly’ reply to a question (even in a social context) with “I plead the fifth”. The fifth what??? WE ARE NOT AMERICA, we have no Bill of Rights, and we have no Fifth Amendment!!!!! You can choose to exercise your privilege against self-incrimination if you like, or do all those poly-syllabic words just confuse you?

1 03 2010
devil's advocate

Well, pol-sci, the right against self incrimination in many cases doesn’t actually give you the right not to answer the question, it simply prevents that admission being used against you in a criminal case. So in many instances it’s not really analagous to the fifth amendment to the US constitution which is fairly broad in its application.

1 03 2010
FT

very true, d.a., very true. However, I fear that explaining this to a bogue will prove to be a glass-able offence, so I usually refrain from going into that much detail when I hear the “I plead the fifth” line.
It’s usually enough to shut them up for a little while. And, on the odd chance that they retain any information not fed to them by ACA/TT or News Ltd, there is always a hope that they will remember the privilege if/when they are arrested and questioned for their latest glassing incident :)

2 03 2010
devil's advocate

Hrm. The fifth amendment in the US is often pleaded in respect of organised crime or corporate crime, where the admission could lead to other charges in respect of the same offence.

The bogan, on the other hand, is far more likely to be involved in glassing some c— than insider trading or (high level) tax evasion. In which case refusing to answer questions in a criminal context (whether on the pretext of an american constitutional amendment or otherwise) by pleading the privilege is probably their best outcome.

In related news:

http://www.news.com.au/national/angry-anderson-blames-lebanese-for-corrupting-good-old-aussie-violence/comments-e6frfkvr-1225835819828

2 03 2010
dizzy

wow… how are those comments at the bottom of the article?!

2 03 2010
James

It PC gone mad!

They have a point though. Think about it, prior to the crew of Captain Cook’s ship firing at Aborigines on the coast of Queensland in 1770, no one in Australia had used a metal weapon in a fight ever. In all 50 000 years of human occupation. Look how far downhill things have gone since 1788. The Aborigines needed stronger border protection policies, keep these undesirable knife and gun wielding immigrants out.

4 03 2010
devil's advocate

The other stupid thing (among many) is that in most manslaughter/GBH cases involving drunk people outside pubs or street fights, is that the main injury is incurred not from the punch/kick/strike, but when the victim falls to the ground and hits their head on the concrete. Whether that is due to a punch, kick or other is oftentimes irrellevant.

2 03 2010
Boganista

The other classic is the use of 911 when trying to call emergency. There was a report recently ( I will see if I can find it), in which 34% of people thought the emergency hotline was 911 rather than 000. Oh dear…

2 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Yes! Sad but true!
You’ll be shocked to learn that 911 actually does connect you to 000 now.
Perhaps that thoughtfulness should have been ignored in favour of natural selection…

1 03 2010
Tone

I think Abraham Lincoln best summed it up: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

Of course, the few bogans that have even heard of Abe are under the impression that he plays for the L.A. Lakers.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Tone,
That realy is a great quote and one which I use myself from time to time
wonder if we could have it as a compulsory item in bogan primary school?

1 03 2010
berihebi

Great post and great ending, you tied it all together. Glassing cunts has so many uses.

I remember post-Port Arthur when the government was moving to tighten gun ownership. The streets were full of protesting gun owners (plenty of bogans among them I’m sure), with placards proclaiming our consitutional right to bear arms.

1 03 2010
JimC

That’s hilarious.

And I’m sure more than a few of them spelled ‘constitution’ wrong as well.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

JimC
beware pedants lurk in the shadows change wrong to incorrectly or even at a stretch wrongly to avoid punishment !

4 11 2011
HarrIson

Well the word WAS actually constitutional. Correcting someone’s spelling with the incorrect word…

1 03 2010
Kat

“Triggering the bogan’s freedom of speech with this glance produces a similar feeling of regret to accidentally using the word “walk” in a conversation within earshot of an attentive and easily excitable dog.”

Gold.

1 03 2010
Tubesteak

Ahhh yes, the Australian Bill of Rights. Ummmm is that the one that starts with “We the people”? No, wait…..

Is it the one that gives us the freedom of political communication, free religion and talks about a Commonwealth humbly relying in the blessing of Almighty God under the Crown of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and includes New Zealand should they desire to be a member?

NZ also have their own Southern Cross so they could be one of us!

But anyway, I digress, bogans love their rights. Just don’t talk to them about responsibility, particularly their own responsibilities because “freedom” means never having responsibilities…..

1 03 2010
the trav

“NZ also have their own Southern Cross so they could be one of us!”

so do (from memory) brazil, samoa, and PNG

1 03 2010
Tubesteak

Well, Samoa and PNG play football so they have bogan approval.

I met a very attractive young lady from Brazil last week so I would love to see closer relations with Brazil.

I thnk we have a greater Commonwealth in the making

1 03 2010
Brimstone

Do Australians have any right to free speech, free assembly, free press, etc?

1 03 2010
Simon

Yeah, it’s called the footy!

1 03 2010
James

Not explicitly, be we don’t not have the right to assemble, if that makes any more sense.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

anyone who remembers the Joh years and the “state of emergency” because the South African football team were visiting. any group of three or more people were illegal! even a family could have been and i think were ,arrested.

without defined rights and with rabid pollies our “rights” are at best fragile.

1 03 2010
Kaiks

Shoot me down if needed. But that sounds a bit like Apartheid, was that to make the Springboks feel welcome?

A touch of sarcasm to go with my ignorance.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

I guess so , at least as welcome as Joh wanted
Maybe he and Flo were not sure if Pumpkin Scones would be acceptable.?
Seriously though it was as good a display of “police state” behaviour as we have ever had the misfortune to experience in this country
What could we have expected from a state where ( at the time) government and big business meetings always involved a “plain brown paper bag” filled not with porn but currency of the realm!!
A disgraceful time and we are well past it.
Unfortunately we have no statutes,bill of rights, or legal framework in place to prevent it happening in the future in any state nor in the federal sphere.

9 08 2010
George

this is probably an ancientn comment but in victoria and I think it was new south wales there is a bill of human rights and responsibilities and I know atleast the victorian one includes the right to freedom of movement and expression. One would think that movement and expression would include the right to assemble?

2 03 2010
James

My dad got his head cracked for protesting apartheid.

1 03 2010
the trav

I have lost count the amount of time I have told people that there is no mention “freedom of speech” in the AUSTRALIAN constitution, we are not the USA.

after some serious research into the matter, 30 seconds on google/wiki (how bogan of me..) i found the following:

“In 1992 and 1994, the High Court of Australia found that the Constitution contained an “implied” right to freedom of political communication, in a series of cases including the Australian Capital Television case and the Theophanous case. This was seen as a necessary part of the democratic system created by the Constitution. The application of this “implied right” has, however, been restricted in later cases, such as Lange v ABC. It is in no way equivalent to a freedom of speech, and only protects individuals against the government trying to limit their political communication: it offers no protection against other individuals”
(source: wikipedia)

1 03 2010
Nelson Esq

So Trav, in otherwords, are you saying that freedom of speech is in the vibe of the Constitution?

1 03 2010
Going Bogue

It’s not freedom of speech, per se, but rather freedom of political speech that comes as a necessary part of democratic and responsible government enshrined in the constitution.
Ergo, as savvy bogan would no doubt argue that discussion of race (i.e. chanting “Fuck off Lebs!” on Cronulla beach) is highly political and an integral part of our political system.

1 03 2010
Andrew Newnham

Pretty much, it’s in the vibe (what a classic bogan movie), but not the consititution itself… We have loads of rights in our constitution, but freedom of speech is not one… That said, quite a few of our other rights implies the requirement for freedom of speech…

1 03 2010
Brimstone

So if the Internet censorship bill passes we’d have no legal right to challenge it?

2 03 2010
Ms Crane

It depends. The internet censorship bill has been passed however it has not been challenged by the judiciary yet. Once it is it will be up to the High Court to decide its constitutional validity.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Thank you Trav,
More people ,boags esp should be made aware of this.
People like you and I and Fiona are in the small end of the distribution curve

1 03 2010
Loftie

Freedom of speech… Giving Bogans a voice since 1901…

Leads me to ponder the EPIC #100 post from TBL…. not far away…

I’m sure there will be something in the pipeline – right TBL?

1 03 2010
James Hunter

The realy important thing is to offend everyone equally

1 03 2010
Keeping Kosher Klansman

For all intensive purposes, this is the best post yet, TBL! A pungently repugnant bouquet of bogue.

Bogan + Freedom of Speech = Historical/Factual/Grammatical Incorrectness Gone Mad!

Incidentally, the c*ntglassing is fast becoming an all-purpose cherry-on-top to entries lately. Nothing wrong with that. *glass*

1 03 2010
Tone

If TBL ever went into merchandising, I’d like to see them release a t-shirt that has ‘Have You Glassed A Cunt Today?’ on it.

22 03 2011
Ash - Glasser of Carnts

I’d buy that as a gift for Mum.

1 03 2010
AlyssaKT

you forgot to use “(sic)” appropriately in there, KKK

1 03 2010
Pto

And like the “Political Correctness Gone Mad” entry this is often combined with the “I’m just saying what everyone is thinking” line.

1 03 2010
pb

that, or ‘the silent majority’.

1 03 2010
Bec

I don’t see why it is that anyone should go to any length to satisfy the demands of people who don’t have the temerity to air their opinions: especially if said opinion reflects the status quo of idiocy and bigotry. Nobody will bash your head in just because you think you are the specialest of snowflakes (and ffs, ‘the abos should just get off the dole, mmmkay?’ does not make you the next George Orwell).

1 03 2010
Going Bogue

I would really like to see mention of ‘bureaucratic red-tape’ in an up-coming blog. That has been bandied around willy-nilly recently by bogan staples such as TT, ACA and Sunday Night.

1 03 2010
Tubesteak

Avoiding the nuisance of bureacratic red tape has done wonders for Peter Garrett

1 03 2010
ant

Ah ha, but you’ll never see it written in the Bogan Press. Because they cannot spell Bureaucratic.

1 03 2010
James

I love confusing the “PC gone mad” crowd with a nuanced application of the term. For instance, there is a story on new.com today about Kmart requesting to be allowed to open on Anzac Day. I suggested it is political correctness gone mad that anyone would oppose this. Did it get published? Of course not – the moderator must have gotten confused as PC does not apply to diggers, only Muslims and brown people…

1 03 2010
DP

Great article. Shame that TBL didn’t limit the ‘right of free speech’ during the Great Children on Facebook flame war. That would have flushed out the fools and psychopaths.

1 03 2010
Peter

Wrong, James Hunter wrong. The ‘really important thing’ is continue pointing out the error of being bogan in the forlorn hope that the rest of society finally wakes up.

1 03 2010
Bec

Want some cheese and crackers to go with that whine, Peter?

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Peter itsa not the rest of the world that need to know its the bloody bogans!!

1 03 2010
Peter

correction: is to continue

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Peter,
Pedant

1 03 2010
SM Adelaide

Actually, there is an implied right to feedom of speech in the Australian constitution, this is however very different to the American rights to free speech, and as has been mentioned by others – we have no bill of rights in Oz.

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/journals/UTSLRev/2003/4.html

1 03 2010
FT

SM Adelaide, that’s precisely the point. The bogan seems to draw upon some overriding constitutional right to Free Speech, without knowing a thing about it – especially the difference between our rather delicate implied right, and the American’s Bill of Rights right. Of course, if you ever try to explain that to a bogan who claims to be exercising their right to free speech, you’ll get a blank look followed by a verbal bashing for being ‘un-Australian’.

1 03 2010
Tubesteak

It’s difficult enough explaining to bogans that Australia won’t be kicked out of the Commonwealth of Nations if we become a republic (similar to many other nations) let alone the interpretation of the constitution by the activist High Courts of Mason and Brennan who broadened the political communication powers which is juxtaposed to the conservative High Courts since these times that have narrowed the interpretation and brought it back from the brink of an encompassing freedom of speech right

1 03 2010
AlyssaKT

They were all so angry after Ray Martin’s comment that our flag should be updated (then what relevence would all of their southern cross tatts have [despite being in the sky above many southern countries]?!) none seemed to consider that we wouldn’t really even need to change the flag until we stand on our own feet as a nation first anyway. It’d be “un-Australian to change it”. If we had a flag without a Union Jack we’d actually be more Australian…
And the bogan response to a republic; “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”.
Urgghhhhh.

1 03 2010
AlyssaKT

relevance*

1 03 2010
Brimstone

Try explaining to an expat American why you don’t have the right to free speech, free assembly, freedom of the press (i’m pro-gun control, so i won’t bring up the Second Amendment)… its pretty confusing

2 03 2010
James

Brimstone,

I think it is as simple as our rights to do these things have never been seriously challenged by the government. We are largely free to say what we like, the press is free to write what it likes, and properly arranged protests can be easily carried out. Perhaps if these rights were challenged, we would demand a bill of rights. There is some discussion over implementing a bill of rights, but the right-wing is rabidly opposed to it, for some reason.

If that helps…

2 03 2010
Brimstone

‘Largely’. That’s the trick. Like the bogans most people assume they have these rights (in America they’re defined as basically Natural Rights that belong to all humans) but there’s nothing stopping widespread political or social censorship.
As for ‘rights being challenged’ – Internet filtering. Videogame censorship. Bill Henson. Rated R films being sold in brown paper bags in QLD (I think). Strict ant-defamation laws.

“Just leave it alone and trust the government’ isn’t a good rights policy

2 03 2010
James

Tell that to the right wing. They oppose the introduction of a bill of rights at all.

1 03 2010
LouMac

OK I bite,
“if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”.
So why fix it then?

I have no british connections,therefor no axe to grind, but none of the arguments I heard so far convinced me that we should change.

It seems to me like the old Irish hatred of everything English, than anything else that motivates people who are pushing this.

And that is the other thing, THE people who are pushing it puts most of us offside. (Turnbull, Frazer etc.)

1 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Becoming a republic doesn’t involve a war.
It doesn’t involve rejection from the Commonwealth.
How long do we have to be England’s little colony before we can stand on our own feet?

1 03 2010
LouMac

“England’s little colony”
Sorry mate you just proved my point.

How in the name of God are we a “colony” of anyone, if we are, it’s more like the Chinese who have us by the balls!

You are talking rubbish.

Sorry TBL it’s OT by a mile!

1 03 2010
AlyssaKT

And you, Sir, proved mine.

2 03 2010
LouMac

Sorry for the late reply, but I work for as living and can’t stay up all night.

What was your point again?

6 03 2010
swalk

But it IS broke. Our Head of State is an unelected foreigner. One would reasonably assume that, of all people, the flag-clad Cross-tatted bogan would object to this state of affairs.

However, I do think that a revision of the flag is the logical precursor to becoming a republic. I don’t understand this sentimental attachment to the current design – a quarter of it is occupied by the flag of another country, and half of it consists of an ensign that is found on the flags of several other countries. The point is, no matter how radical the redesign is, it is still the Australian flag, and surely this is what is important. The design should not be considered immutable, rather be changed where appropriate to ensure that it remains a relevant and inclusive banner – as the Canadians did in the mid Sixties.

1 03 2010
Snag

‘And the bogan response to a republic; “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”.’

I love this. Who ever said that bogans weren’t conservatives at heart.

Great post TBL. I especially liked the reference to the bogans’ free speech and the similarity to a dog hearing “walk”. Absolutely brilliant!

1 03 2010
Jo

Bogans talking loudly on their phone on public transport is something I have to put up with almost everyday being a resident of Newcastle who doesn’t drive.
Their conversation is always about private affairs too, regarding sex lives, who’s in jail, who the next glassing victim is going to be. I suppose they want everyone on the bus to think they have an exciting life or some such garbage.

1 03 2010
Mezz

Spot on Jo! I also commute to the city for work on the same train line and for many years now, there has been a bogan culture that can be experianced in it’s most hideous form on these trains. Perhaps a runner up to Rosemeadow (Outer West Sydney bogan infested suburb). If only we could give them their own carriages and segregate them from the mainstream.. Hang on – They have become the mainstream – WE”RE ALL DOOMED!!!!!
Nice work again TBL – Love it!

1 03 2010
Bec

It’s very simple, you see. The bogan considers himself a maverick.

This does not require any sort of legitimate uniqueness, independence of belief, personal fortitude or disregard for what others think; rather, they want to be SEEN only as a freethinker, regardless of how mundane, common-place, uneducated or otherwise unoriginal their personal beliefs might be. They can say things like “you know, it’s time someone said something about single mothers/dole bludgers/immigrants: I’m just saying what everyone else is too scared to say!” without irony, because they’re too impressed with how mavericky they are to hear that EVERY FRICKING dipshit has said exactly the same thing.

It’s doublespeak of the dirtiest kind: it is now amazingly individual and independent to maintain the status quo. They can now be rebellious by forcing traditional family values down our throats. No wonder they chose Sarah Palin, Queen of the Ameribogue, as VP candidate. Same old crap in a coonskin cap.

You’re not Chuck Norris: you’re a douchebag who is having a fight on the Herald Sun comments page about fat single mothers. My God I am glad that your freedom of speech isn’t enshrined in any constitution.

1 03 2010
Mezz

“The bogan considers HIMSELF a maverick”????
I hate to disappoint anyone the worst bogan examples that I’ve encoutered are female. Does Mercedes Corby consider HIMSELF a maverick?
Some valid points – acknowledged but please….

1 03 2010
Bec

Brevity is the soul of laziness, in my case. Cheerfully withdrawn.

2 03 2010
Simon

Mercedes – Himself may be appropriate.

1 03 2010
devil's advocate

Also they don’t seem to grasp the nuances of the interaction between (say) implied freedoms of speech and very specific laws relating to defamation, or discrimination in certain contexts.

For example, imagine if bogans tried half that crap in a government office. Or any office for that matter. They would be sacked in 10 seconds flat.

1 03 2010
Bec

They love freedom of speech: not freedom of speech. Also baffling: the indignation they experience at having to cope with using diplomatic and PC language in private businesses/homes. Your right to call someone a faggot is trumped by said faggot’s right to not give you respect or a job because you’re not fit for polite society.

1 03 2010
Bec

*freedom FROM speech. I am just leaving stupid all over the place today.

1 03 2010
pinky has a brain

“The boganic interpretation…” muhahaha best line ever

1 03 2010
Korubell

While speaking of how the bogan’s right of free speak is or is not spake, perhaps TBL can do an issue on just how these speaks are spoke. What I’m referring to here could be titled “What do they do with their teeth?” for, in my experience, nary a bogan encounter goes by without the bogue in question showing a sad dearth of dental furnishings. Maybe it happens when they’re glassed by cunt, I don’t know *shrugs*

1 03 2010
Inky

I would suggest that in this particular case… Bogans seem to actually like the current PM their affections were acquired during the rigorous ‘working families’ campaign… It’s also evident in QLD as the Labour govt has been constantly re-elected despite their gross negligence and incompetence.

Great post!

I think there is definitely more ground to be covered on the bogan’s political wireing though!

1 03 2010
Mezz

I totally agree – I think that the Stimulus Payments were a big lure for the bogans affections. Hey TBL – Is there enough scope for a page on Stimulus Packages? This would be one of the bogue highlights of the decade. Perhaps a bit dated by now but still highly valid entry i think??

2 03 2010
Korubell

Please say it’s not true: Stimulated Bogans?!? I think a fairy just died.

1 03 2010
James

That’s not entirely fair on Queenslanders Inky. I don’t think that bogans can be blamed for Labor’s repeated election wins – or at least not bogans generally. One bogan in particular can be blamed however – Laurence Springborg.

1 03 2010
ant

Is “Working Families” aimed at Bogans, I wonder? Certainly prevented me voting Labor. I hate sloganeering, and I hate my taxes being used to butter-up greedy people who want to buy new X-Box games and god knows what else.

2 03 2010
Faux-gan

OK, so Labour suck and Kev is not the great savior we all thought. GIVE A FUCK!! Have you heard what the other team has to say? I personally will move to New Zealand before i live in a country where Barnaby Joyce is given the finance Ministry!

10 03 2010
Annette

Re-electing Labour in Qld could also have something to do with rememberance of National Party leadership…. *shudder*

1 03 2010
vivisection

Korubel, I think a lot of the said dentally challenged bogans will soon be flashing shining white, veneer thin teeth. “Smile!, you’ve been bedazzled!”.

1 03 2010
Bogue

As long as they don’t say “Smile! You’ve been vagazzled!”

2 03 2010
Korubell

“You’ve been vagazzled” <— that's just abuse of my eyeballs, that is.

2 03 2010
Bogue

Could be worse I guess…”Smile! You’ve been gonazzled!”?

2 03 2010
Bogue

Of course, we’ve all been ‘bogazzled’, but it doesn’t always make me smile.

2 03 2010
Korubell

I know I have my bad days, but I think I’d know if I’d been bogazzled. Wouldn’t I be filling in forms to claim the baby bonus?

1 03 2010
Loftie

Ironic that a post regarding freedom of speech (more or less inviting FREE SPEECH) hasn’t had the usual frenzy of posts…

By this time of day – generally well over the 100 comment mark…

Maybe its because its a public holiday in WA – plenty of bogans enjoying the day off??

1 03 2010
Mezz

Ironic indeed – Where’s Fiona today? Usually has a fair bit to say – Her absence today and the noticable reduction in the number of posts – Could there be a corrolation here?

2 03 2010
Loftie

Perhaps that is the reason…

Maybe she’s overseas shopping??

1 03 2010
Bogue

I do enjoy yelling at retail staff however, especially hotel bar staff. I enjoy it almost as much as I loath public domestic arguements (as per several residents in my street, particularly the house with the ‘Chevrolet’ ST8ZMN parked out front). For the unwitting Gen-Y working behind the counter, the ruder (retail) and more self-righteous (hospitality) they become, the louder I yell, usually directly proportionate to how much I don’t care for their phone discussion about Breeyannah’s holiday to the UK. Calling me ‘mate’ is a particurlary good way to kick off the yelling.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Actually Holdens with Chevrolete Badgs are a definite bogan indicator

10 03 2010
Annette

Sometimes it’s necessary to speak VERY LOUDLY at a Gen-Y bogan, just to see some flicker of movement by their facial muscles, hopefully an indication that they heard you, let alone understood what you asked of them…

1 03 2010
Bogue

Either that or you’re living in Dubai.

1 03 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Looks like this topic is too esoteric for many comments!

1 03 2010
Peter

Now-now, James Hunter. Your agitation is made more conspicuous by the absence of fair Fiona. Love’s like that.

Bec, never mind.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Peter
“far better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all”

1 03 2010
berihebi

Discombobulated is new word for me and I’ve decided to use it in sentences from now on. It’s sounds right too, almost onomatopoeiaic. I’m looking forward to replying to a text message telling the sender that I found their text rather discombobulating and could they send it again please in real English.

1 03 2010
Simon

Sounds like an injury an Indian may get whilst jogging nude in Cubans Berihebi. You be careful now.

1 03 2010
berihebi

Sounds even better with an Indian accent.

1 03 2010
Simon

And head wag I am hoping?

1 03 2010
James Hunter

I get the disambiguation

1 03 2010
Ms Crane

Dear TBL,

Unlike the USA, Australia does not have a Bill of Rights and freedom of speech is not entrenched in our constitution.
Great post though!

Rats! TBL

1 03 2010
berihebi

Our country is doomed for so many reasons Ms Crane.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

I thought the word was “Runed” or is it “rooned”
Fi,Help !

1 03 2010
Simon

James, the spelling is f u c k e d .

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Ah Simon thank you you put it so sucinctly
nothing like documents in “plain english”
!

2 03 2010
Ms Crane

Why is that?

3 03 2010
James Hunter

TBL to which part of the comment from Ms Crane does wour “Rats” apply?
to the “Unlike…..constitution””
or to
“Rats”
?
As you may have observed from my dribblings I am easily confused !

1 03 2010
James

Dear Ms Crane,

Unlike the USA, Australians have a very dry sense of humour that sometimes goes unnoticed…

1 03 2010
Pete

Q: Why do Americans say “NOT!” at the end of their one liners?
A: Because the audience it too stupid to understand sarcasm..

2 03 2010
Ms Crane

That is pretty big generalisation, James.

Why was it directed at me?

2 03 2010
Sam

This is too much. Every post without fails uncovers a Ms Crane or two. Though I suspect (hope) you are taking your act a little far.

If not and you are a) American or b) unaware of irony try this:

Just like the USA, Australia has a Bill of Rights and freedom of speech is entrenched in our constitution….NOT!

2 03 2010
James

Here’s why:

“Dear TBL,

Unlike the USA, Australia does not have a Bill of Rights and freedom of speech is not entrenched in our constitution.
Great post though!”

I assumed you missed the fact that these things were raised as a joke.

2 03 2010
Brimstone

Americans haven’t used ‘NOT’ in decades. You can’t accuse the country that invented The Simpsons, The Daily Show, the Colbert Report, and all the surreal dry nonsense on Adult Swim of lacking irony

2 03 2010
James

Like in so many of its endeavours, the US is capable of both the best, and the worst. Take for example Two and a Half Men, and place it alongside the Simpsons or Colbert Report. Or Baywatch, and place it alongside The Wire, or Sopranos.

Thus, the US is capable of both wonderfully dry humour, at the same time as a large portion is completely unaware of it at all.

2 03 2010
hel

I notice Ms Crane has not raised her head, post lesson in irony. I bet she thinks The Office was a real documentary

2 03 2010
Sam

Ricky Gervais made that one. In fairness it did win a Golden Globe which means it had mass market appeal.

However, the US version was alot more subtle and clever than the UK version…NOT!

3 03 2010
James Hunter

this reminds me so much of Adelaide Fringe @006
We appeared to eat a live mouse on stage.
on the m0orning after the first show the Venue, the Premiers Office, the RSPCA The Fringe Management Office and the Advertizer recieved over 350 complaints from an ordience of 200.
One of the idiots that i spoke with personally in response to my question “If you wentr to se a magician cut a woman in half with a saw would you expect to find a big blue bin out the back full of bums and legs ?”
Thinks…thinks…”Well, no”
“But I saw you do it”
How can one easily and politely counter such logic?
Maybe I should have glassed the cunt?

1 03 2010
Brimstone

Gotta say as a non-bogan American expat the lack of a Bill of Rights trips me up. I think opposition to things like the proposed Internet filter would be greatly assisted by a respect for free speech, no matter where it comes from. ‘I don’t agree with what you say but I’ll die for your right to say it’ – Voltaire

‘Give me liberty or give me death!’ – Patrick Henry

In other words, I don’t care who is proclaiming their ‘right to free speech’. The fact that Australians don’t have such a right isn’t a problem with the bogan. Its a problem with Australia

1 03 2010
Bogue

The bogan can happily self-declare this right, along with the right to invade Bali/Thailand/Vietnam and trample on the local’s culture, the right to ruin your music festival experience but fluttering it’s Australian flag cape in your face, the right to drop a burnout in their prized Conformadore next to your bedroom window at 2am, etc. It doesn’t require laws, it IS the law (just ask it).

2 03 2010
Ms Crane

Well the USA gained its independence after a long, bloody war whereas Australias Federation happened peacefully, hence the fundamental differences in the nature of our democracies.

Australia does have some constitutionally entrenched freedoms, there has just arguably never been a need for a separate bill of rights. Even if we did have one, I doubt that it would be specific enough to protect against the Labor governments internet filter.

2 03 2010
James

Good point. That experience has led American attitudes towards government to be deeply distrustful, whereas we largely trust that our governments will do the right thing. Again, quite a generalisation, but it seems to be largely true in my experience.

On the internet filter, I do not really have a problem with it, so long as the sites that are “filtered” are made public. I would never want to access the kind of things they want to “filter” anyway, and as long as the process is transparent, it is not really a major issue.

2 03 2010
Brimstone

Not a major issue? It will slow down Australia’s already slow Internet. And do you really trust that ‘nothing you want to see’ will be filtered? Filtering software is imperfect and unless you confine yourself to the blandest media you will hit on something they don’t want you to see.

And why does a nation of ex-prisoners trust their jailers so much?

2 03 2010
James

That is why there needs to be transparency, which I think the current plan does not provide for. So under the current plan, I do not trust that at all. Unless they make what is being filtered publicly available, then it is a major issue. I don’t think I am really all that bland, but I admit I have no use for pornography of any kind, and even if it all gets blocked, I would shed no tears. So long as I can access quality news, databases like Jstor and Factiva, TBL (or course), and other humour sites, it will not affect me. Overall though, the transparency of the filtering process is what is important here.

On our (relative) trust of government, it is probably because by and large we have been treated well by our government. They give us education, national defence, health care, welfare, and myriad other social goods. When they start banning political parties and arresting people for their opinions is when we should worry. Personally, I do not understand American mistrust of government at all – theirs seems pretty unobjectionable.

Why does such a democratic nation as the USA distrust their government so much?

2 03 2010
AlyssaKT

oh here we go… Yes, we’re ALL descendents of convicts… So ill-informed.

2 03 2010
Faux-gan

We don’t need a constitutionally guaranteed right to free speech do we? Surely all we have to do is not say anything illegal and we’re good – it’s not as if there are laws in place prohibiting responsible free speech, only prohibiting dumb shit like vilification, slander and Baz Lurhman (we finally banned him for good didn’t we?)

2 03 2010
Simon

You’re American.

Oh, I’m so sorry……

1 03 2010
Brimstone

Gotta love a country where the left-wing argues against free speech…

1 03 2010
James

Do not confuse our Labor Party with the left wing, Brimstone. Voters have been doing that for decades now.

1 03 2010
Bec

Oh dear, there appears to be a troll in the dungeon…

Nobody is arguing against freedom of speech. What we are making fun of are the people who think freedom of speech comes with a big old protection for their precious feelings: that anyone who disagree with the bogue can’t criticise or disagree with said opinions. Opinions, and blog comments, and shit racist jokes, are not protected forms of speech. If you say something that makes you sound like a cock, it is unreasonable to expect that you won’t suffer from repercussions with this: be it social sanction, angry rebuttal, or loss of employment in the event that your words are slanderous or otherwise illegal or not conducive to a safe work environment.

Just because everyone is entitled to an opinion doesn’t mean all opinions are equally valid.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

also unfortunately,just because a point of view is worthy or valid is no guarantee that more than one person will hold it

2 03 2010
Brimstone

I’m not a troll. This is a broadly left-wing site. Good. I’m not complaining. But this entry seems to implicitly endorse things like anti-defamation laws and legal limits on free speech. As an ex-American trying to understand Aus I’m confused. I know you have stricter limits on speech and things like SA’s laws banning anonymous political web comments don’t get enough attention.
‘Opinions and blog comments’ aren’t protected speech? Really? That opens up the easy squashing of dissent
I was brought up to respect and vigourisly defend eveybody’s right to free speech and democracy.

2 03 2010
devil's advocate

best summarised by: “your right to swing your arm ends where another man’s nose begins”.

I’m pretty sure the doctrine relating to yelling fire in a crowded movie theatre originated in the US. There are always limits to freedom of speech, whether that right is explicit or implicit. And these rights are always subject to interpretation by the courts, esp in the US where court appointments at the highest levels can be political.

2 03 2010
Brimstone

Correct, but we place fewer laws limiting them and I think that’s for the good. Do you really believe ‘opinions and blog comments’ should be censored? That would put a chill on most political speech online

2 03 2010
Faux-gan

Censored by whom and for what purpose would be the questions to ask. There was a decision just handed down somewhere in Australia where a guy got fined or sued or something but i believe it was actually a defamation ruling only it was the first time an “anonymous” blog poster has been nabbed. In any event most comments pages and blogs are monitored and posts are removed frequently for all sorts of reasons (see myriad comments strewn all over this site of the lefties having their comments knocked back by such esteemed sites as news.com.au).

2 03 2010
Brimstone

I’ve got no problem with site owners moderating comment boards. Hell I do a bit of that. But for the government to interfere in private speech that way would have a chilling effect. Anti-defamation laws have their place but if overused could lead pretty easily to censorship.
I don’t approve of ANY government censorship except in the most extreme cases. Do you actually agree with the ruling in SA that anonymous blog comments should be illegal?

2 03 2010
Bogue

The SA law was overturned, about 24 hours after it became public. The root of the issue was personal comments made against a particularly sensitive member of government. From what I’ve heard, the comments that saddened said political so much were, in fact, posted under the critics actual name. So, the law, and your comments are a mute point.

PS: Historical upgrade. South Australia was settled by ‘free settlers’ only, there were no penal colonies, thus no convicts.

2 03 2010
Faux-gan

I think Censorship has a place provided it is treated transparently and moderately by whomever is in charge. Having said that i don’t support the internet filter system as i think it is a shotgun approach that will throw out a lot of babies with the bathwater – i’m thinking specifically of torrent directories and suchlike. Also i hear it is very easy for people with the know-how to get around it so the tech-savvy pervs will still have ready access to the bad shit.

2 03 2010
Bec

I meant protected in the sense that they shouldn’t be open to criticism or challenge. As in, you have a right to an opinion that is not immune from someone calling you on your shit.

Criticism and open dialogue is the exact opposite of censorship.

1 03 2010
Antosha

I love the oft used ‘It’s a free country!!!’ defence.

Usually screamed defiantely by the bogan as he/she is: being hauled out of a cricket ground for throwing beer all over their neighbours / refusuing to stop smoking in clearly defined non smoking areas / illegally parking etc etc

1 03 2010
toony

I read the line “…participating in gutter journalism opinion polls…” and I wondered if That Great Contributor noticed it?

http://www.google.com.au/#hl=en&source=hp&q=%22fiona+of+toorak%22&btnG=Google+Search&meta=&aq=f&oq=%22fiona+of+toorak%22&fp=1860df8cf2ec5be1

He’s conspicuous by his absence…..

1 03 2010
Antosha

‘He’ ??

Surely not…

Mr Hunter would be heartbroken.

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Oh my God
it’s warm bath and razor blade time?
Antosha
If I kill myself and it turns out that Fiona is the loverly understanding student of humanity that I had always assumed
I will never forgive you.
So There !!

2 03 2010
Antosha

There there..

I am sure our lovely Fi is a picture of pristine womanhood.

These taunts of ‘He’ are nothing but feeble banter aimed at discrediting one of the true moral crusaders of our time.

But it does seem she had a day off today…

2 03 2010
Faux-gan

Don’t listen to Toony James, he’s a Fucking Retard

*claims freedom of speech in defense of indefensible slur*

1 03 2010
R.Belka

Ah Freedom of Speech…..

‘While certain that it should be a beneficiary of free speech, the bogan is equally adamant that they should not be a recipient of it. The bogan reacts poorly to a non-bogan passing judgement on it, angrily discrediting the opinion offered to it as political correctness gone mad, or some sort of cultural elitism that must be crushed. ‘

Gold.

Another good idea for posts are English Premiership Football (especially Stoke City F.C.), Sick Days and Trade Unions.

1 03 2010
Peter

James Hunter:

Peter
“far better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all”

‘then’, eh?

Yaawwwwnnnnnn…

1 03 2010
James Hunter

Peter,
So !
We have a Pedant Than
LOL ( sorry Fi)

1 03 2010
bandwidth

Heed the wise words of those bogan funsters TISM.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TISM

“I Might Be a Cunt, but I’m Not a Fucking Cunt”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Might_Be_A_Cunt,_But_I%27m_Not_A_Fucking_Cunt

2 03 2010
James Hunter

Reminds me of the line
“im not a poofter, but , i did fuck one once”

1 03 2010
ant

This article is perfect… captures the issue entirely. It captures The Bogan’s world view: they have Roights, but no one else does. And basically, whenever they open their mouths they make Bogans of themselves. They never have anything to say that is worth listening to. Unless for low-brow entertainment, I guess.

2 03 2010
dazz

Hello.. i was just wondering f you could turn the music down.. Its 11pm on a sunday night and our 1 year old hasnt slept for 9 hours.

slice, stab… “take that ya carnt”…..

http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/neighbour-stabbed-after-complaining-about-noise-20100301-pcba.html

2 03 2010
Korubell

Eeek, that’s right up there with the Qld woman who stabbed and killed her partner because he wouldn’t play a Bruce Springsteen CD. Her comment to the police: “Well who the hell doesn’t like Bruce springsteen, for god’s sake?”

2 03 2010
Brimstone

As an American born in New Jersey one town away from The Boss I think that’s a perfectly valid defense. Springsteen is Springsteen, and I can’t imagine not loving him
When my ex said she didn’t like AC/DC i could barely understand the words. Does that make me a bogan?

2 03 2010
James Hunter

Can I take that under advisement?

2 03 2010
Korubell

Brimstone… I am also a Springsteen fan and I thought I was pretty serious till I heard about that Qld woman. And I’m afraid I’m with your ex on the AC/DC issue. I can’t tolerate them at all, their music is banned from my house and can only be played in the shed by the MOTH. I think of it as music to commit homicide to (as I do Pink Floyd ‘music’)

2 03 2010
Brimstone

Music To Commit Homicide To would be a great album name

3 03 2010
Korubell

Brimstone – remember, you heard it here first, and I’ll be available all week *wink*

2 03 2010
hel

I finally got it, just why the bogan is so adamant in its condemnation of immigrants, people they view as not taking up “the aussie way”……… The bogan embraces xenophobia because it is x-treme! X-enophobia = epic

2 03 2010
James

That analysis is fully sick hel. Kudos.

2 03 2010
Paddington

Nick Xenophon must be a bogan pin-up boy, then. Poor, poor man.

3 03 2010
R.Belka

Rights and no responsibilities, a perfect summation.

With the racist deluge that is filling up Australia these days, chanting to kick Kevin Rudd out of office due to his border policy (he hasn’t been able to do anything due to lack of grassroots cooperation and he’s only been there 2 and a half years). Its safe to say I will be voting Rudd next election round, because I’m not keen on seeing a relatively inexperienced Abbott take the reins (Abbott was Health minister, whilst Rudd was Deputy Fgn).

Why I will take Labor:

They are the party with the most experience during times of crises. 1916, William Morris Hughes was a Labor man (until he formed his lil’ splinter group). 1929. James Scullin was a Labor man, trying but ultimately failing to combat the depression. 1943. John Curtin was a Labor Man, helping to rally an Australia stunned by Japanese attack. 1949. Ben Chifley was labour, in charge of re-building Australia (and responsible the Snowy Mtn. River Scheme).

Liberals’ experience with crises was in 1960s, with Holt during the Vietnam War.

And it is 2010, the year of the Great Fucking Financial Crisis. I’d rather have somebody who knows a bit about diplomacy (and the perks this skill brings), than have a propagandist and Liberal zealot whose last portfolio before opposition was a minister of Health under the Howard government.

R. Belka out.

I would suggest that being in government 60, 80, and 95 years ago would have little relevance or bearing on the body of knowledge carried by the ALP’s leaders in 2010. TBL

3 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I agree completely with TBL.
R.Belka, I don’t see the benefit in voting for prime ministers based on what happened before they were born?
I will be voting Labor based on today and the previous 10 years…

3 03 2010
pb

i’d say the simple fact that tony abbott is the liberal leader and barnaby joyce is shadow finance minister is more than enough reason not to vote for the coalition.

9 03 2010
Faux-gan

Dude, you forgot Whitlam in 75 borrowing millions from shady middle eastern oil barons to ensure supply thus giving Kerr the trigger to sack him and trigger a double dissolusion election – which he lost.

9 03 2010
James Hunter

Tried to borrow …probably from a mate of fraser

9 03 2010
James Hunter

TBL, good point, I note that you do not allude to the disparity of intellect and compassion that exists between todays labour and those on the other side ?

3 03 2010
R.Belka

I vote based on their history (which does influence their policy and how they tackle crisis).

21 02 2011
Michael Jones

At least in america you have the right to free speech, in Australia we have no bill of rights and our constitution is barely worth reading.

30 03 2011
Cherry

Our constitution is worth reading, if for the simple fact that it is important to know what our rights are. There are certain rights enshrined in there, but what is the most important is understanding how the flow of money influences our politics. s96 Tied Grants are the Federal Governments weapon in ensuring their agenda is maintained in the states. A much more rich understanding can only be gained through studying the law, and in particular understanding the Freedom of Political Communication defence, which is raft of sections linked by the right to speak about politics and matters relating to politics in and in connection to Australia.

For the average Jo Bloe though, if they read it, the probably might start appreciating its deficiencies and approving more referendums.

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