#69 – Megachurches

21 01 2010

Religious beliefs are not entirely unpalatable to the bogan. After all, most organised religions offer immediate forgiveness of sins, the prospect of everlasting bliss, a sense of belonging, and the capacity for miracles that will bail the bogan out of the situations that it gets itself in as a result of its own negligence. But with the proliferation of bright lights, loud noises, and shiny gadgets in the last few decades, worshipping marketing-driven consumerism has to a large extent usurped the stoic Christian heritage of many bogans’ ancestors.

Like the vengeful force that modern Christian advertising portrays him not to be, God has struck back on these desecrations of his temple. He has sought to conquer the glitzy, schmaltzy, commercialised modern world by… bringing it inside a church and selling it to bogans. Well, at least that’s what Brian and Bobby Houston have done, the senior pastors of the Hillsong Church.

This Pentecostal megachurch emerged in Western Sydney in the 1990s, sporting the jumping, singing, and clapping that has been exported from the most morally reprehensible churches in the South of the United States. The bogan greatly enjoyed being immersed in this colour and sound, and was doubly thrilled to learn that there was much merchandise that could also be acquired. The bogan does not measure the strength of a belief or affiliation through dedication or quiet contemplation, the only known calibration is the purchase and display of prominently branded products. And purchase they did. Hillsong has turned itself into a commercial juggernaut, releasing over 40 albums, holding enormous Amway-esque conferences, spawning offshoot Hillsong locations, and even creating a television program with a global reach. In return, the church asks only for a vague acknowledgement of family values, affiliation sometimes referred to as “spectator religion”. Considering that bogans prefer to be entertained than to do things, it’s a snug fit.

Not content in its own bubble, this insidious undertaking has sought to utilise its newly loyal bogan army in the task of reshaping Australia. Politicians from both of the mainstream parties have attempted to curry favour with the congregation. This did not work well, as curry is a dish from a non-Christian country.

The final reason that bogans love Hillsong, is that the church encourages them to watch Australian Idol. At the command of the pastors, Hillsong’s bogans vote in large blocks for Idol contestants who giddily gush about their religious beliefs on the program. It’s sheer bogan catnip that their commercial music church ordains reality television celebrities, ensuring that the bogan will keep coming back to the church for each episode. Guy Sebastian.


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283 responses

21 01 2010
hindustan

the bogue is risen…

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Please don’t let the bogue come again….

21 01 2010
Bogue

Hey?

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

It’s a take on
Christ has died
Christ is risen
Christ will come again

I think I would prefer Christ coming again over the bogan.

21 01 2010
Bogue

Oh, I thought you were referring to me, Bogue. It’s the egocentricity of my part-bogan genetic make-up taking over again.

21 01 2010
Lana

I agree Nelson

21 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. OK, in all honesty I can’t really claim to know much about the lives of the native bogan, but I associate all these religious activities with the natives of the South Pacific.

21 01 2010
Lis

My vote for best post to date.

I worked for a while near the original Hillsong. One day, whist trying to get a coffee at the shopping centre next door, I got swamped by the Hillsong teens during their lunch break from bible school, also getting coffee. Ignorant sods that they were, they managed to rudley shunt me into one corner of the shop while I was waiting for my take away coffee. So I stood quietly muttering curses about them to myself. Promptly burnt myself with my hot coffee. The wrath of god takes all forms. I took up drinking tea after that.

21 01 2010
Lexi

Not to forget that the favourite Bogan coffee experience occurs at an evangelical affiliated outlet, Gloria Jeans. Lord help you trying to get out of Norwest shopping centre’s car park when Hillsong’s weekly happy clappy clap trap gets let out – it’s like Pitt St on Thursday night when the buses are on strike.

21 01 2010
Bec

The happiest day of my life was when Mercy Ministries went bust and they had to remove all of the donation jars in Gloria Jeans. Suck it, crazies, you can’t has cheezbur… er, centrelink payments!

15 01 2012
Meow

The saddest day of my life was when my rehab centre closed and I couldn’t get help for my problems because some girls lied to SMH and Mercy closed.

21 01 2010
Lis

It wasn’t Gloria jeans at Norwest – because that place was full of adult Happy Clappers, and the teens had spilled over to the next place. In the end, it was just better to drink tea at work. I never had the experience of the full congregation – bible school was bad enough. I have to admit, I got to the point I wouldn’t slow down coming out of the Norwest carpark.

It’s much better that I now work far away from there.

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

…For the kingdom, the power, and the Gloria Jeans are yours

Amen

21 01 2010
Lis

And you haven’t even brought your A game to the table yet have you?

21 01 2010
Keeping Kosher Klansman

Had no idea. In that case I’ll have a strong Judeoccino with two sugars please – and Gloria be to God. Godbothering coffee franchises? WWJD?

21 01 2010
Anonymous Bosch

At least them clapping means they don’t have the damn tambourines anymore.

22 01 2010
eurofoti

Good one for mentioning Gloria Jeans! Aren’t coffee shops from shopping centres also a Bogan fave? A place where you can look cultured whilst perusing a Cosmo you may have bought as an impulse item. A place where you can breathe in the fake air-conditioned air and listen to the crappy music flowing from the Coles next door. A place for the bogan single mother to relax for a bit between her shopping and before she tries to find her teen daughter giving gobbies on some staircase.

19 03 2010
Somewhat Bogan

I had an office in Norwest Business Park for 3 years. If I was lucky enough to have to go in on a weekend, my regular coffee shop would be closed and I’d have to make the dreaded pilgramige to Gloria’s Jeans and stand in line with those freaks and their fake smiles.

15 01 2012
Meow

Wow, heaven forbid other people have to use a coffee shop but you. If they were school children from a nearby school, other uni students, people on a bus tour, tourists, or anyone else, you’d still complain, because you’re that sort of person.

It’s a shame you didn’t learn after you burnt yourself to get your attitude checked. Now you’ll go through your whole life resenting people who do tertiary level studies with a religious slant, like the anti-intellectual bogan you are.

21 01 2010
Shabadoo

Hmmm I think this sort of misses the big point of the Hillsong-type churches: They promise the bogue a route to prosperity — God wants you to be rich, and all that. So rather than, you know, work hard, or develop a great idea to fill a market niche, or save and invest carefully, or some combination of these and other traditional routes to financial security, they can go and jump and clap and be dazzled by a light show and told that if they just give money to these churches (“tithing”) they will see their faith rewarded in this life with material blessings. It’s sort of an incredibly dumbed-down Calvinism, and a bizarre reading of the Gospels and much of traditional Christianity, which exalts poverty and humility and a number of other virtues and traits utterly alien to the aspirational bogan.

Also loathe as I am to defend Pentecostal megachurches, but Pat Robertson is a real serious fringe outlier.

21 01 2010
Bec

Creflo A Dollar and the other American prosperity-theology pushing televangelists have a lot to answer for.

21 01 2010
Josie

Totally agree here. This is bogan Mecca because it’s all about having money…getting money…money money money!

21 01 2010
Topcrumpet

Too true-it’s an afterlife of endless consumerism that is on offer-’Gawwwwd lurrrrves profit!’

21 01 2010
Goose

I agree, missed the biggest bogue part of hill$ong, its all about the money.

21 01 2010
James

I am reliably informed that in Hillsong churches they use buckets for collection plates, and that they even go so far as to drill holes in the bottom of the buckets so that you have to give notes and not coins.

27 01 2010
James

You’ve obviously never been have you!

28 02 2011
andrew

Calvin would no doubt be spinning in his grave over these freaks.

21 01 2010
Boris

Christianity for stupid and lazy people.

21 01 2010
Loftie

Religion is for suckers…. that is 100%…

15 01 2012
Meow

No, that’s new age philosophy.

You’ve never met people who expected so much intellectual apologetics for creationism and volunteer service in a church?

21 01 2010
hindustan

most of this goes over my head (inner-city melburnian). i can only really link this to that kath and kim episode. is this a CUB thing too?

21 01 2010
Indi

If you want scary taste, go to St Jude’s Carlton.

21 01 2010
Ads

Definitely sounds like an outer suburban (sydney or brisbane) kind of thing.

23 01 2010
pinky has a brain

Try Richmond, use to be called Richmond AOG (Assemblies Of God) but they’ve changed it to something that doesn’t scream “WHERE A BUNCH OF HAPPY CLAPPERS” I don’t know what it is.. Funny though…

21 01 2010
dan1

Oh to live in Castle Hillsong in Sydney!
this should also appear on a site entitled ‘things Koreans like’ – so many Koreans in Sydney rock the Hillsong rock!

21 01 2010
Bogue

Oh, well spotted TBL…I’ve always chortled at the ‘Paradise Clothing’ oulet near my work (Paradise being Adelaide’s own Hillsong, also a really crappy northern ‘bible belt’ suburb), not to mention look quizzically at the ‘Christian Supplies’ shop nearby. At least I know where to go if I need a packet of Christians…for whatever reason…keep the trick-or-treaters away at Halloween?

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Interesting that you mentioned the words ‘Amway-esque conferences’ in the blog. In Amway, you’re meant to get all your friends along and you magically get rich…and a very clean house from using all the soap products. In Hillsong, if you bring all your friends along, do you magically receive forgiveness of sins…and a very clean soul?

15 01 2012
Meow

No. You actually need to confess your sins, believe in your heart that God the father resurrected Jesus from the dead, actively act on this belief and turn away from you sins, and then you shall be cleansed. Going to church doesn’t forgive your sins any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

21 01 2010
AJ

i think we have dodged a bullet over here in the west.

21 01 2010
Bogue

Due to the mining boom, the West is the new Soddum and Gomorah…it can’t be saved, and bogans hate being turned into salt, unless turned into a salt flat so record speed trials can be carried out on them. I digress.

21 01 2010
Indi

Well, that big shiny bullet. I have relatives in the goldfields who were previously involved in an ‘end times’ Christian cult, and who attend just such a church.

15 01 2012
Meow

It’s good they got out of the cult.

21 01 2010
shazza

We have a mega church here too AJ. It’s in Burswood.

21 01 2010
Anthony

In the Mt lawley Subway shop there is a donation can for the Hillsong Burswood church which I find quite insulting & have not returned there since. These religious corporations accumulate copious amounts of cash without preying (no pun intended!) on the weak & hungry..

21 01 2010
shazza

That’d be better if the pun was intended Anthony.

21 01 2010
Anthony

Shazza, agreed but I am sure there are some out there who would have pointed out a spelling faux pas & missing out on the flavour of my comments.

15 01 2012
Meow

I think that was a Freudian remark.

21 01 2010
AJ

i enjoyed not knowing about it. you ruined my ignorant bliss

21 01 2010
Lauren

Just going to say that. It’s called Riverview. I like my own little church which is not happy clappy. (even if a tad too extreme on some issues)

19 02 2010
Faux-gan

The west is where all of the CUB’s are now so i wouldn’t be surprised if hillsong got over there sooner rather than later

21 01 2010
Freddo

Hillsong is from north-western Sydney. They do not like to be associated with western Sydney. Western Sydney (think Blacktown) is the home of the traditional bogan with a V8 Kingswood parked in the front yard with a fibro house.

21 01 2010
Topcrumpet

Rubbish-what about the mega churches of Blacktown, Orchard Hills, Penrith, and the Blue Mountains? These profiteering happy clappers will go where ever there is a “need”-to suck cash out of the asspirational , greedy, and godless!
And the ugly bogans can evenget a “holy root” if they’re lucky…..

21 01 2010
Roni

Unfortunately not true. They have a little outpost here in bogan heartland pretending to be youthworkers. This apparently involves rounding up the poorest kids and being pretentious at them.

22 01 2010
Freddo

I didn’t realise how far they had spread. I have driven past a little outpost in Waterloo but I thought all business took place in the mothership in the north-west. Sorry to hear that so many more people have to suffer their presence in their neighbourhood.

My comment was from the clappers that I know. Seems I am fortunate to not know too many of them.

23 01 2010
Lee

It must be a very very thin line between the west and northwest as blacktown in only a few minutes from the hillsong abomination at “Bella Vista”.
Where is the imaginary line that seperates west from northwest?

15 01 2012
Meow

Just because you’re too proud to take charity doesn’t mean others don’t rely on and appreciate the service. Who’s pretentious now?

21 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

“It’s sort of an incredibly dumbed-down Calvinism”. Encapsulates everything I hate about these people and their fraud of a church.

This quasi American Evangelical blame the victim, get rich quick, right wing conservatism, is so against the teaching of the gospels that, if it was not so serious, it would be amusing.

And their “hip” colour, light, and sound rock bands is so affected and contrived, that only the delusional foolor non thinking bogan would fall for it.

As TBL states – no quiet contemplation, but gross and crass consumerism and exhibitionism, all tax free for the church of course who get fabulously rich in the process, thereby living their own prophecies.

Distastesful and banal – the bogan delight.

21 01 2010
Indi

Self-absorbed and self-important religiosity- what better fit with boganity?

21 01 2010
Bec

Doncha know, Indi? Jesus leaned out the window of his XR6 to tell the poor lepers that they deserved to be sick, and that this might teachthem personal responsibility in the future.

21 01 2010
Indi

“Mate, you usedta be fully sick, but now you are healed.”

21 01 2010
Mark

I thought Jesus was a liberal Jew…

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Well Mark, if you’re one of the gospels, you tell us?

21 01 2010
Mark

Rhetorical question dude…

21 01 2010
Melvos Love God

If you cant dazzle them with brilliance then baffle them with bullshit

23 01 2010
pinky has a brain

Here Here!!

15 01 2012
Meow

“And their “hip” colour, light, and sound rock bands is so affected and contrived, that only the delusional foolor non thinking bogan would fall for it.”

So because some musicians, lighting techs, and audiovisual engineers are good at their job and volunteer there time each Sunday to use the talents God has given them to worship God, it’s a contrived, affected act? I pray God reaches in and softens your hard heart.

15 01 2012
Meow

*they’re

21 01 2010
berihebi

From a Hillsong forum:

I have given mi heart 2 God n He is doing wonderfuls thing thru m ..am happy n suprise so sis or bro u can b lyk m so give ur heart n ur soul 2 God He will it..

Incomprehensible text message prayers from Bogans. Lovely.

21 01 2010
Bogue

One day all our letter and numbers will join together and be as one.

21 01 2010
Jaiydein

“….From a Hillsong forum:

I have given mi heart 2 God n He is doing wonderfuls thing thru m ..am happy n suprise so sis or bro u can b lyk m so give ur heart n ur soul 2 God He will it..”

God have mercy on us !

15 01 2012
Meow

Praise God that someone is happy, despite their lack of a formal education, and that God takes both the intelligent and formally educated and the not so formally educated and loves us both equally, judging us on our use of our talents, rather than our outward appearance and our ability to spell.

21 01 2010
Dom

Religion of any stripe is entirely a product for the Bogan.
Religion impresses the credulous* (read bogan) with any number of superficial and intellectually cheap tricks, whether that be a glitzy gazillion dollar concert every week or dubious ‘miracles’ that are arbitrarily performed by a long-dead primate.

Before I look like I’m picking on the religious Bogan, I also think it’s worth mentioning the Bogan who follows no religion because of some version of “I can’t be bothered.” I find this as bad as an empty-headed religious Bogan because neither is a conscientious choice coming from a process of reason or any implementation of self-examination. It is rather the laziest intellectual shortcut that allows the Bogan to resume planning his next Contiki tour.

21 01 2010
shazza

Geez I always thought these places were for dags, not bogans. I’m sticking with my Scientology theory.

Pretty much anything that can be prefixed by “mega” is of immense appeal to bogans. TBL

21 01 2010
Indi

The true homes of dagdom are the traditional Protestant churches, with just an organ and hymns, and their theological integrity.

21 01 2010
shazza

You don’t think a bunch of young folk dancing and singing about god is daggy? Seems to me to be the domain of teetotaller virgins, rather than Bundy drinking root-rats (now there’s a good ol fashioned bogan term).

21 01 2010
Indi

There’s a strain of young Christians who love the roller coaster ride of sin and redemption that is being a mad rooter, saved again each week. The whole Dostoyevskyian cycle. You feel the full power of the Lord, get a root, and self-indulgently wallow in your own evil, over and over again.

21 01 2010
shazza

I’d been labouring under the (mis)assumption that was what all religious people did.

21 01 2010
Lana

Excellent point Indi

- i wont add on

21 01 2010
Indi

Discreet, as ever.

21 01 2010
dazz

Have to agree with Shaz on this one,
I know (through work, sporting clubs etc..) quite a few members of RIVERVIEW (aka Perth Hillsong) members and none can be described as Bogue’.

Moreover, they are all idealistic dags/dorks who prefer to fit in and socialise with the other dags at the church in hope of friendship and winning a powerball jackpot. Dont see too many maloo or XR8 utes in the Burswood carpark. It is true that there is a disproportionate number of immigrants (aka illegal’s or non-australians to the new bogue), who frequent the church.

21 01 2010
shazza

Maybe this is one of those West/ East coast differences?

21 01 2010
Toddo

Dazz, you would be correct in your assumption, though Africans and Koreans are interspersed with razzle dazzle yuppies who like the biggest is best scenario.
Went to ‘Metro Church’ in Perth for a concert one night, and didn’t find any scarf wearers, or anyone in a pink shirt (as the name would suggest), but Africans and Koreans.

21 01 2010
Toddo

Shazza, it sure is daggy! but these days I couldn’t care less, though I have tried to hide the tambourines from the older ladies, but they kept finding them.

21 01 2010
Bogue

Absolutely agree Indi. And TBL’s right, these mega-churches hold values close to every true bogans heart – there’s self-righteousness (ironically), there’s the oneupmanship of who’s got the shiniest new car, the nicest clothes, the loudest ‘helleluja’, plus there’s immense cliquiness. The religion itself takes a huge backseat to the glitz and the glammour, which attracts the shallow bogan who’d typically be turned right off the dagginess of said traditional churches. They’re an insidious establishment on the whole, although, having said that, may contain a few well meaning patrons.

21 01 2010
Lana

Bogue,

Good point,
Christianity today is shocking, Gosh the way things are conducted.. even JESUS would not be allowed into some of these so called churches, and he did say that one day he will say to many so called christians- I never knew you..

Scary really

21 01 2010
Bogue

“.. even JESUS would not be allowed into some of these so called churches”

‘…not in those sandles, mate’

21 01 2010
Bec

Ya fuckin bleeding heart hippie leftie scum!

21 01 2010
Dom

Not to mention he was a Jew from the Middle East.

21 01 2010
Indi

“Whaddaya fucken mean give up all my wordly goods and follow you, yah poofta?”

21 01 2010
Bogue

Whaddaya farkin’ mean ‘worldly’ goods? I get all my goods from Harvey Norman!

21 01 2010
Toddo

“Give them up??” I haven’t paid them off yet!

21 01 2010
Indi

So renouncing the worldly life could release you from debt? Interesting.

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Worked for GM in the states. Chapter 11 of the Bible, apparently.

21 01 2010
Indi

Somewhere up the back? Or the Sealed Section?

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Must be in the sealed section somewhere between the old and new testaments. But does it matter, because if it wasn’t for the power of the good book, GM would not have been reserected from the dead! Hallelulia!

21 01 2010
Bogue

…whilst Chrysler sold their soul to the Devil (i.e. someone not American), and Ford snuck out the door quietly before the Spanish Inqisition turned up.

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Or does the sealed section contain the centrefold of ‘that whore’, Mary Magdalene?

21 01 2010
hourbyhour

Given that the bible has, famously, been the preserve of woolly-minded liberals throughout history, the right-thinking folk at conservapedia have set about correcting the egregious errors committed by centuries of Christian scholarship (see http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project).

Harder for a rich man to get into heaven that pass a camel through the eye of a needle? Commie propaganda folks.

21 01 2010
Indi

The centrefold would have to be the Great Whore of Babylon. So many modern candidates . . .

21 01 2010
shazza

My moneys on Julie Bishop.

21 01 2010
Indi

She always makes the customer feel specil- “Wow. you’ve got two penises!”

21 01 2010
shazza

As Tony said, she’s a very loyal girl.

15 01 2012
Meow

You’ve never actually gone and met the people have you.

What attracts me to Hillsong over some other churches is the absolute lack of clique-yness and the beautiful heart that the people have, where they accept you as you are, rather than judging you on the things other people in the world do, such as the oneupmanship you accuse megachurches of.

And christians are just as hypocritical as the rest of the population, but at least they know we are sinners, rather than the self-righteousness displayed by people who think they don’t need God because “I’m a good person so I’ll go to heaven, I’m right mate” and “Jesus never did anything for me, and if he did, I didn’t want him to” both very anti-theist and bogan thought processes.

21 01 2010
James

Try a Catholic mass – its Protestant church on valium.

21 01 2010
Bogue

Guilt doesn’t work so well on bogans. The Catholic church has plenty of income streams though, so no need to resort to commecialism just yet.

21 01 2010
Indi

At least you get drugs. The saddest thing is that many legitimate Protestant churches have abandoned their traditional music and liturgy to appear more hip. Yeah, right. Bach or R&B? Your choice. Sadly, I know about art, and what I like, and it’s not white children pretending to sing Gospel.

3 11 2010
Greg

Are you talking about the Novus Ordo mass or the Trinidine Mass which was in use before 1969 and said only in Latin. For the most part most Catholic Novus Ordo Catholic masses have become Hillsong lite!

21 01 2010
berihebi

I’ve just seen my 3rd anti-bogan newspaper story in a week. Is there a social revolution brewing? Let’s hope so.

21 01 2010
James

What was it? Got a link for us?

21 01 2010
Shabadoo

There’s a really good book by the American author Barbara Ehrenreich called Bright Sided — at least the American edition is, which I got from Amazon, I think the Australian version which I saw in a bookshop the other day had a different title for some reason. Some of it is somewhat tendentious, but a lot of it whacks megachurches, inspirational speakers (another aspirational bogan obsession), ribbon-awareness campaigns, etc. I commend it to the authors of this site as a somethng of an early warning system and an entertaining rant.

21 01 2010
Bec

I read it. Would definitely recommend it to others.

21 01 2010
Azza

I was thinking that maybe it wasn’t prominent in Qld. It is! I have had a few experiences! It is very much Amway-esque! A friend got me to go once and a saw a guy from work! Although it was more enjoyable than the catholic religion, I didn’t return because the guy I worked with was a tool, and the over enthusiastic man hosting it was a also a tool!

The guy I worked with was a feminists worst nightmare and had a glass eye! Apparently finding god is supposed to make you a nice person?

21 01 2010
Lis

The Garden City Christian Church – in of all places, Garden City – has been there for at least 30 years. My mum got hauled there a few times by “friends”. I used to go with her as well, in my pajamas, lying under the rows of plastic seats, bored out of my skull, until mum came to her senses, and we’d just stay in on Sunday nights.

21 01 2010
Jess

Isn’t the Garden City church in Mt Gravatt?

15 01 2012
Meow

Yes, Rover St, off Logan Rd.

21 01 2010
shazza

I don’t see too many examples for the theory finding god makes you nice Azza. More likely a sanctimonious hypocrite

21 01 2010
Goose

Amen!!!

25 01 2010
meatray

Azza,
Toowoomba is full of these types of Christain Bouges. Bouges of all types actually now I think about it. Anyone remember the magnificent meal movement international? Weird stuff Dude, and all about the money.
http://www.magnificatmealmovement.com/

31 01 2010
Belinda

I’m thinking that spelling to be downright bogan! I breezed through the site and couldn’t see the need for it. Was hoping to find a play on words thought I may have seen one with the word magnified used. It wasn’t overly clever though.

Magnificat indeed!

More like magnifatcat!

21 01 2010
pominoz

Having Foxtel and of course in the words of Bruce Springsteen ‘There was fifty-seven channels and nothin’ on’ So surfing around eventually brings me to the God channel. If you are lucky you reach a Hillsong concert with lots of young teens playing AOR dirges. The lyrics makes you want to throw up, and seeing the brainwashed audience, hands in the air, eyes closed makes me despair of modern society.

21 01 2010
James

Like they said in the Simpsons, replace the work “baby” with “Jesus” or “God”, and you can turn regular rock into Christian rock.

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Wasn’t that Cartman from South Park?

21 01 2010
James

I believe he also said it – I was thinking of the Simpsons episode where Flanders meets the lady from the Xian rock band.

Equally good is the episode with a former heavy metal band (I think it was Quiet Riot) singing their new version of “Cum on Feel the Noize” (sic), which was called “Cum on Feel the Lord” (sic).

Xian rock is a comedy goldfield.

21 01 2010
Indi

You had me wondering about the ancient Chinese capital there for a second

21 01 2010
James

Sorry – academic shorthand for Christian – using the X like in Xmas to describe all things Xian.

21 01 2010
Indi

I used to be an academic in an institution which dealt with Xian, China.

I did realise fairly quickly.

21 01 2010
hourbyhour

The happy-hand-clappin’-Jesus-freak-circus Pentecostals have been a serious boon to the Bogan.

Tired of having the rest of polite society pointing out what a shallow uber-consumer you are, and the gnawing realisation at the great emptiness of all the Ed Hardy merchandise you’ve stockpiled lurking uneasily in your preconscious? Dress up your attention-seeking purchases as ‘spiritual’ with the help of your local megachurch.

Tired of broader society’s codes of decorum and courtesey putting a check on your ability to accost and harrass strangers with a forceful reminder of the superiority of the Bogan Way of Life? Join your local megachurch and receive license to natter away at all-comers with the blessing an authority higher than good manners and the law itself – JEBUS!

Tired of all those jerks with their sense of decency and level of maturity being taken seriously while your uncouth and incoherently formulated prejudices are summarily dismissed as the trash they are? Join your local megachurch and feel nice and smug as you are finally able to condescend to all those immoral hipsters, gays, Muslims, university students/professors, public servants and any other member of the Christian conservative menagerie of Evil Sinners.

As such, the megachurches represent a real power play by Bogans whereby they’ve been able to cobble together a veneer of legitimacy to their douchebaggery. The sad and worrying thing is that it’s working – that legitimacy sees them taken VERY seriously by governments at all levels. Is it any coincidence that the new spate of puritanism by sundry state governments has really begun to bite Australia over?

21 01 2010
Topcrumpet

Amen to that! Megachurches can hide racism under the guise of “godless” and “anti Jesus” very well.
God is a white male after all, and probably from Cronulla.

21 01 2010
Beck

Forget Hillsong and mega churches. How about a post on Tony Robbins and his empire built on sand? Or “Dr” John Gray of “Men Are From Mars …etc” who got his “doctor” from a diploma mill in the US. These are two massively rich and influential empires. Robbins and Gray are now so entrenched in business culture that white-collar psychos are being popped out by the minute. Everything from corporate management to lowly, aspirational workers take everything these two morons say as gospel and worship at their altar of prosperity (their’s, not the bogans’). This is a far more insidious threat to normal people than a bunch of tizzed-up bogans who like to mosh to praise songs and get a bit clappily over-excited about Jesus. I know you’ve done a post on self-help books, but these two guys go way, way beyond that. Once you become a poster boy in industry and the claptrap you write help create business models, the rest of the tools in the self-help section in the book store just cannot be compared.

21 01 2010
Jaiydein

Tony Robbins, I used to find very scary on those late night infomercials, I always wondered if anyone ever purchased the sets of CD’s.

21 01 2010
Beck

With his giant hands that could maul a grizzly. He’s so insidious. And responsible for those ridiculous aspirational posters you often come across in the offices of car dealers and real estate agencies. TEAMWORK: There’s no “I” in team.

No, but there’s four in “platitude-quoting idiot”.

I also blame him for corporations who make their workers wear badges with titles such as “team member” or “team leader” (not to mention the second in charge, sorry, that’s 2IC in modern bizspeak).

21 01 2010
SammySo

“TEAMWORK: There’s no “I” in team.”

But there is a m e!

I always get nasty looks when i mention this!

sorry.

21 01 2010
Just drove past hillsong

My personal fave was the “minister” who faked having cancer, released a song about hope, spent all the money on hookers and then when he got caught tried to raise money for the “sex affliction given to him by the devil”

Talk about the bogue leading the bogue

21 01 2010
Indi

You didn’t like the the follow up ‘Get Your Head Out of Uranus’?

21 01 2010
Beck

*chuckle*

21 01 2010
Topcrumpet

Many years ago, I used to drive cabs. One Sunday night, at about 230am, people were pouring out of the Entertainment Centre in Sydney after a weekend long Robbins inspirational fest. I picked up a middle aged couple and it was like they were speeding off their nuts, the shit that was puring out of their mouths was incredible-heavy peppering of the conversation cotaining the words “awesome” and “unlimited”, and”power”. They tried to interest me in a “life changing” package, as “Tony” would be back on tour in another couple of months- I asked them to describe the weekend.
They had been there since Friday night, the sessions went from 8 am till about 2 am each day. Lots of “workshops” and “focus sessions”. Robbins’ crew roamed the venue, removing the ‘challenged’ for special ’1:1 Coaching’, whereupon you could return to the fold ready to “unleash the Giant within”. The cost of the course-$3500 per person, plus Dvds, book,t-shirts, personal coaching etc etc.

They were basically sleep deprived and brainwashed. But like all modern pop philosophy (and fast food!), the satisfaction gleaned from the experience would not last long I suspect.
I think Hillsong, from what I understand, operates in a very similar way, only the initial entry is free. But they certainly have the staff on hand , ready to sign up donors, tithers, and those exhibting “crises of faith” (ie non believers). And don’t forget the “gay conversion ” course of the Mercy Ministries, as well as Bobby Houston’s grooming courses for young women……you too can be sexy for Jesus.

Bloody vampires the lot of them, preying on the weak and vulnerable-as well as appealing to the greedy and aspirational bogan!

21 01 2010
shazza

There are Landmark courses that operate in the same way. Based on the old tear them down, then build them up philosophy. Throw in a bit of hunger and sleep deprivation and most people become very pliable.

21 01 2010
pominoz

I wish I could think of a ‘get rich by fleecing the gullible’ idea.

I presume when Hillsong pass the contribution plate around they have a credit card swipe on it?

21 01 2010
Just drove past hillsong

The urban legend is that they have ATMs in the lobby. I cant be sure, just walking past the place and seeing the roaming packs of kids in orange shirts gives me the chills…..

21 01 2010
pulang

i know of someone who was involved in a brisbane megachurch which spruiked its EFTPOS facilities down the back of the ‘church’ during donation time…

21 01 2010
Bec

Have seen it and can confirm. The cafe and gift shop right outside is an especially tasteful touch. Did I give away too much?

21 01 2010
shazza

Cafe and gift shop? Add a florist and you’ve got a hospital.

15 01 2012
Meow

Citipointe? Ugh. That “church” gives other churches a bad name.

The pastor drinks like a fish, and unfortunately for him developed throat cancer from it. :(

30 06 2012
Right and proud

Just recently, my flatmate offered to download the Tony Robbins series ‘Time of your life’ on my laptop. I straight away flashed back to reading your post and some of the other comments here. But I thought ‘What the hell?’ and he downloaded the series for me.

I’ve been listening to each seminar (there are 10 in this series) and although I started with some degree of sceptiscism, I am finding that, so far, I have found the series to be very helpful. This series I am listening to, Tony discusses how to manage your time better and achieve the best work/ life balance. It’s opened my eyes in quite a few ways and (as somebody who has a few problems with literature like ‘The Secret’ and strands of the AOG movement (like Hillsong) I am glad my flatmate downloaded it for me. It’s (so far) been really useful.

Best of all? It all came to me 100% free!

21 01 2010
Rob

This is not particularly relevant, but on my way through quaruntine on the way back from Hong Kong, I encountered a bunch of Bogans. You could tell by their appearance (basketball jerseys, shorts, bikini strap shirts, leathery texture, and unwashed hair) that they likely had returned from a trip to Thailand (on Jetstar, no doubt). After looking at their forms, the officer sent them over to have their bags looked at. Half the crowd began to stare as they removed several large, white paper wrapped packages from their baggage.

Under instruction, they unwrapped these packages. There was a second layer. And a third. And a fourth. By the third, I, and I assume everyone else looking, trusted they were drugs. But what was in these parcels could only shock us further.

They were giant, wooden, presumably faux-Religious lanturns and icons, greater in size than the average head. The bogan owners, evidently ignorant of the concept of customs policies prior to getting the declaration form on the plane, all possessed an expression on their faces that could only be described as entitled irritation. I’m sure arguments of “We’s didn’t knows about some f*cking policy about f*cking wood!” and “Well if yous gonna take it we better get our money back!” followed, but I was too busy flying through quarantine and laughing my way to the car.

21 01 2010
Indi

All of which were probably avilable at the local Al Fresco Boo-Teak, but like, heaps more dear.

15 01 2012
Meow

If they were christian they probably wouldn’t swear to customs officials.

21 01 2010
Rob

And that’s a particularly egregious typo in the first sentence.

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

For the bogan, I would have thought that The Beatles (on Rock Band/Guitar Hero) would have more popular than Jesus?

21 01 2010
Loftie

Was reading through the full list this morning… looking back at some of the previous entries… damn there has been some great ones… :P

This one was one that I didn’t really relate to…

Which was REFRESHING… Maybe I’m not as bogue as I thought I was!!!

21 01 2010
Anonymous Bosch

It’s nice that you’re in denial, but the use of three exclamation points is a clear marker of Boganity.

21 01 2010
Bogue

Again outlining the need for a BQ test on this website.

21 01 2010
Loftie

Denial… I am not denying it at all…

Instead of being 100% pure Bogan… perhaps I’m a lighter shade….

Though I also agree with Bogue re: BQ test…
Much like the Cleo/Comso “Is he the one for you” type test…

Though, there would be quite a few high scores…. so long at the results were anonymous…. i’m sure it would go well!!!

21 01 2010
Bogue

Maybe we could text our names and TBL’s to 1900 Shane Warne and see how compatible we are…surely this would provide a BQ

21 01 2010
Azza

There is a bogan test circulating around! An series of questions in an excel spreadsheet you answer yes or no. It calculates how bogan you are. It asks questions like, have you ever been to the shops in your pjs! Or have you ever worn adidas tracksuit pants? I was 60% bogan.

21 01 2010
Bogue-ironic

find the link i bet that loftie or fiona from toorak top score though i might be up there too
i dont mind a beer in my jocks and i do have a southern cross tattoo
but i had it way before everyone else

21 01 2010
Lana

Okay…

The Christianity being sold to the general public and the bogue (Not you Bogue :) ), but its mostly all a lie..

The choice to follow Jesus is personal.. really personal.. God does’nt need the applause of the crowd or their money- as the church says.. all hes looking for is a heart willing to serve him.. in hardship and even in the good times..

This whole motion of the mega churches.. making God out to be some money hungry, will give you if you give me God is very wrong..

These people need to seriously consider what they are doing, brainwashing people is not the way to go and they will have to answer for it..

Hey Jesus did say- serve me not mammon (money), but alot of these guys are serving mammon.. Oh yes.. money cometh to me?? please – that sounds like something out of the secret.. (bad book by the way).

Jesus came to die for sin, not make one rich.. and as i’ve read in the bible- people like paul (rich guy) became poor to serve Christ.. soo somewhere something went very wrong.. Not saying that God will not bless SOME.. (emphasis on the some)- but these Churches have made it out to be that God owes you something if you keep giving your money to them.. no God does’nt owe you anything- your church owes you your money back for lying to you like that..

21 01 2010
shazza

Cash is King = Christ the King.

21 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

“”…These people need to seriously consider what they are doing…””

They do, and it is all tax free.

Fleecing the bogan is a reoccuring theme on this blog. Just different ways of doing it.

This one, however is just genius. How much money can be made from the gullible, lazy, thoughtless, horde of bogan “saved”? Millions and millions.

Jesus wept.

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Even scarier than their ability to fleece the bogans, it’s their ability to gain political favour and concessions, firstly from Howard, and now the KRudd.

21 01 2010
Bogue

Church and State will never be truly seperate, as long as there’s a polly willing to sell their soul for a vote. Brainless masses vote too, and are easily herded into said polly’s voting booth with the right guidance from the local flock’s representative.

21 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Too true

21 01 2010
Topcrumpet

And there are fairies at the bottom of my garbage bin.
No, seriously there are, and they’re here to save us all, including you.
You have believe me, you’ve gotta have faith or you won’t get wings and enless pie in the sky when you die.Oh, and there’s this book about them too that’s 5000 years old so it all must be true ok? I thinkit was written by the tiny hands of the fairies.
I must go and slay some evil dragons now, they don’t believe you see, and must be stopped.

21 01 2010
Right and proud

Whatever drugs you are on, hit us up.

21 01 2010
Indi

You are right to make those distinctions between Christ’s message and this particular vehicle.

The biggest and saddest lie is that you somehow have God’s ear if you are in the right sect/religion. I wonder how these people cope with situations where it seems that God is not listening to them? The full message of incarnational theology is that we are here on earth each with a spark of God and able to realise that in ouselves, and others by our choices of action. It can be about the physical life and exercising the senses, but probably not in the ways typical of these churches.

And before anyone gets exercised, I’m a non-believer.

21 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Always found it strange that the bogan happy clapper sportsman will thank the “Lord Jesus Christ” for their win/triumph/victory in some such tournament.

What happens to all the other god bothering happy clappers who have participated in the same tennis/golf tournament and didn’t win? Did their God desert them? Didn’t they have a strong enough faith? Wrong brand?

Fair Dinkum – I am exasperated at the level or arrogance/conciet by this deluded fools who force their version of imaginery friends down the publics throat.

21 01 2010
shazza

I recently saw Tim Minchin in concert and he made the observation that when one prays to god for assistance in these matters it is as if they expect this omnipresent, omnipowerful god to stop his days work “killing millions of children” to grant this one person a favour.

I couldn’t agree more about the arrogance west_melb_antibogan.

21 01 2010
hourbyhour

Ah, but those poor black children, while not having caused harm to anyone did not have THE FAITH!

Happy-hand-clapper-douchebag justice doesn’t actually extend to the actual moral dimension of anyone’s actions. Only pure, blind, obnoxiously proclaimed FAITH can have any hope of reward. And even then, it only extends to trivial things like sport and Idol, in which the Bogan is excessively invested, in which said happy-hand-clapper-douchebag justice plays out.

21 01 2010
Indi

Look at it from God’s point of view. Talk about too much information- always knows everything! And most of it tedious beyond endurance- ‘Oh no, not another wank!’- and then someone decides they need help finding something. ‘I know where it is but you’ll never learn to look for it if you don’t try’

Proper prayer as meditation on where a solution could come from within the person- with God’s help to find the spark in a religious context- is not widely understood.

21 01 2010
shazza

Oh no, not another wank! Comedy Gold Indi.

21 01 2010
Lana

*if they expect this omnipresent, omnipowerful god to stop his days work “killing millions of children”*

Abit touchy there Shazza,

Why? well Question

Why is it that people are so quick to blame God for all the bad stuff that happens? why dont we just take the blame ourselves..

Earth Quake in Haiti? that was because of ignorant humans (money hungry too, who go around and mine the crap out of locations) are the ones to blame for the release alot of carbon emissions into the air which cause Global warming and then resulting in the earth looking for a way to relieve itself (get your minds out of the gutter here please)

Please see attached link:

http://www.livescience.com/environment/070830_gw_quakes.html

21 01 2010
shazza

As raised above Lana, why do people ‘thank god, when they win a race, or the Oscars etc? And when a natural disaster occurs the hand of god is nowhere to be seen. You can’t have it both ways. Either god is a merciless bastard watching over the slaughter and starvation of millions, only choosing to interfere when he wants a good person to have something nice happen to them, or he is not able to interfere at all, thereby rendering him impotent.
I know this is simplistic but so are many religious theories.

21 01 2010
Lana

Good point,

But God could represent anything to people- not necessarily God in heaven.

Yes alot of people have taken the notion of thanking God for stuff he’s not even involves in.

Eg: Brit Brit-

I just assume and believe God (Jesus) is omnipotent, and everything happens for a reason.. like karma some would call it

21 01 2010
shazza

I understand your point Lana. Not sure starving children would though. I wonder what meaning or reason they should make from a protracted and painful death at the age of 2?
Sorry to get so seriously morbid people, but I do get a bit fired up on this issue. Back in the box now.

21 01 2010
Lana

Another good point

Maybe if these mega churches would stop trying to upgrade their properties (aka sowing into the ministry) *i have been guilt trip about this one*- and chubby buddying every designer so they can look *made* and actually do what Jesus instructed the real church to do- cased like babies dying because of lack of food would not be so rampant.

(just my two cents in this)

21 01 2010
Topcrumpet

Oh dear, the god botherers are here….”the usual bleat…
“(insert church name/person here) has got it all wrong….god really meant blah blah blah”

It’s all dragons and fairies people.Believe it if you want, but don’t try to make it appear that there is some logical reason or rational point that you can make.

21 01 2010
Dom

Blaming ourselves is exactly what the empty-headed god botherers are doing. To them, it is trivial human indiscretions that are the cause of events like earthquakes. God can’t help himself apparently, to them he mustn’t be a conscious being capable of contemplating the collateral damage of his wrath and opting to just strike specific sinners with a zap of lightning or a heart attack. Rather the believers treat god as some kind of automatic force of draconian karma that they pull out to say “See what happen when you don’t listen to us!”

I choose to blame god, and by ‘god’ i mean the impersonal and somewhat random forces of nature, because obviously god doesn’t actually exist. In a parallel universe where humans didn’t populate the geography of Haiti, that earthquake would still have occurred, just as many earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, fires, landslides, etc happen in unpopulated parts of the planet all the time. Unless god is blindfolded when he fires of his six-shooter of wrath, I would bet it could just be random natural occurrences.

21 01 2010
Right and proud

Oh dear, another agnostic “knowitall”…

23 01 2010
Lee

Oh no a carbon emissions global warming bogan. I can tell you that our contribution to carbon levels has nothing to do with earthquakes and people who are convinced on “global warming” are as bad as the God botherers.

24 01 2010
bec

Satire win! (I hope…)

21 01 2010
Bogue

Well, God bloody well deserted me with about 5 minutes left in last years AFL Grand Final (oh yes, my BQ percentage raises a little higher), as Geelong supporters are no doubt more in touch with him (they did have God IN their side, as well as ON it, at one stage). I considered a conversion to Islam (que quivering BQ needle), but I can’t stand Collingwood.

21 01 2010
hourbyhour

Perhaps, with St Kilda not being an actualy saint, this was an act of divine fury?

21 01 2010
hourbyhour

or actual even …

21 01 2010
Bogue

Thou shalt not worship false idols!

21 01 2010
Indi

As opposed to Australian Idols, hmm?

21 01 2010
Bogue

As opposed to Billy Idols.

21 01 2010
Indi

Proof God has a sense of humour.

21 01 2010
Lana

*I wonder how these people cope with situations where it seems that God is not listening to them?*

This would result in the great falling away- turning to anything that would make them be happy for the moment.. till they get bored

Christianity is not like burger king- *you tell them but they dont understand*.. wonder what alot of them would do if they were called to be martyrs for the faith, alot would probably jump the gun and skip town..

21 01 2010
Lauren

What makes me sick is that they sell stuff in the lobby do these idiots know their Bible at all? (for those who don’t when Jesus was a child he caused a rukus at the synagogue because there were markets there and it was an affront to his father).

It’s just a joke!

23 01 2010
Bec

Jesus didn’t turn over the tables until he was an adult. You’re confusing that story with the one about him disappearing at twelve and Mary finding him teaching in the temple.

21 01 2010
Toddo

You forgot to mention that the frontwoman and chief songwriters name is ‘Darlene’
That said, She is a talented songwriter, and can sing, but the whole focus on her rather than the person of Jesus seems wrong.

21 01 2010
John Vardanega

And who could forget the 2008 Gallup Poll which reportedly showed that 44% of people in the United States believe that “God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so.”

http://www.pollingreport.com/science.htm

130 million Americans couldn’t all be wrong. How red-faced are those carbon-dating scientists looking right about now?

21 01 2010
shazza

A Harris Poll in 2004 showed a third of Americans believe in Astrology, two thirds believe in the devil and hell, and another survey shows 3 times more Americans believe in the virgin birth of Christ (83%) than they do in evolution (28%).
Surely the end of days approach.

21 01 2010
Indi

Well, they all think so and buy endless amounts of cheesy product which deals with The Rapture. If only it were the Blondie single.

21 01 2010
Bogue

The Rapture? You mean the cheesy B grade drama staring Mimi Rogers? Or perhaps the Indie dance band?

21 01 2010
Indi

I assume you’re joshing. But in case not, it’s a very elaborate scenario of the Book of Revelation’s predictions played out in contemporary America. Books, movies – didn’t see it but I believe ‘Constantine’ was the mainstreaming of the idea- and even live shows. There was a glimpse of the phenomenon in ‘Tara’.

A friend had the rare pleasure of sitting through a musical version in an American mega-church a decade ago. He had to disguise a few guffaws as coughing fits.

21 01 2010
Bogue

“He had to disguise a few guffaws as coughing fits”

Suuuure…he was actually sobbing at his impending doom.

Josh? I don’t Josh…Josh is a bogan’s name.

21 01 2010
Indi

Albeit a Biblical one.

No my friend’s literary sensibilities let him see the whole thing as a ghastly continuation of a species of literature which began with Foxe’s Book of Martyrs. His theatrical experience, to see it as a version of Waiting for Guffman.

21 01 2010
Bogue

I thought Bogan Josh was Indian?

I hope the lead role had a lazy eye.

21 01 2010
Indi

Satan was played by someone who had seen Tim Curry in The Rocky Horror Show one or two times too many. Except he couldn’t sing, dance or act, but had they had spent some money on red leather costumes and whips.

(As you might expect this show was the cause of many long and detailed e-mails)

21 01 2010
Bogue

Ha! Sounds great…compulsary viewing for the holy bogue (and read the book afterwards).

22 01 2010
Peep

Point of order: Constantine was a movie sewn together from the story lines of the DC/Vertigo horror comic book Hellblazer (run 1988–present). Granted, I didn’t see the flick itself, but I think it only represents Hollywood trying to run with the recent popularity of comic book adaptations.

However, if you have something to say about the disappointingly popular Left Behind franchise, please, be my guest.

22 01 2010
Indi

As I said, didn’t see the movie, and there is the possibility thathe Hellriaser series was targetted at – da da da dam – the US Christian demographic.

21 01 2010
shazza

The whole concept of the Rapture warrants a blog. There is so much fodder. With 2012 approaching we are going to see some hysteria.

21 01 2010
Bogue

Oh no, I can see the TBL flock descending into chaos with the introduction of religious concepts. I’m sure 2012 hysteria will be just as hillarious as the Y2K bug, many a bogn will gnash their teeth, pull out their hair, load all their worldly possessions onto eBay (but spot a cheap home brewing kit and buy that whilst it was at the right price)…unless them Myans are right!

21 01 2010
Dom

21 01 2010
Bogue

My point exactly.

21 01 2010
Jess

raptureready.com isn’t sufficient?

21 01 2010
John Vardanega

Wasn’t it TISM who wrote, “Too much faith leads to religion” (Bone Idol, The White Albun).

21 01 2010
Loftie

WOW – just read that http://www.pollingreport.com website…
There are some scary responses in there…

Quote:
“To the best of your knowledge, has anyone you know been unfaithful to their wife or husband?”
Yes = 63% No = 31% Unsure = 6%

Thats more than half of the people surveyed knew someone who had cheated on their partner….

Way off topic – but that is BAD!!!

21 01 2010
Bogue

Call me Nouveau Bogue, but I’d suggest that 37% of the people posed that question lied…or were jealous they weren’t invited to the wife swapping key party.

21 01 2010
Pete

Just had a mental image of confused bogues at a wife swapping party – Holden keyrings all round!

21 01 2010
Indi

And matching Jack Daniels keychains ’cause they’re different.

21 01 2010
Bogue

‘Nah mate, mine’s the HSV GTS, yours is the HSV GTR fa fark sake!’

21 01 2010
Indi

You mean you might get your own wife in the swap?

21 01 2010
Bogue

Hmmm…the popped-collar-Ed Hardy-softmo-bogan male would likely struggle to tell the difference between his overly-made-up-hair-straightened-spray-tanned missus anyway, without seeing the tramp stamp at least.

21 01 2010
Loftie

Oh dear… the mental image of a bogue swingers party…

half a dozen girls on all fours… with orange knee high stockings (wait a sec – thats a spray tan!)… bare white @sses with the tramp stamp the only way to identify….

Would look like a graffiti’ed bike rack…

And with no contraception – who’s you’re daddy???
Shane, Tommo, Knackers, Ol’ Mate, Corey, or Taz…

Oh dear… a bogan milkshake…
*shudder*

21 01 2010
Bogue-ironic

now there is something that i didnt want to picture

21 01 2010
Lana

While you on this topic..

TBL- could a blog about COUGARS be done?

Its almost shocking how the bogan old female thinks she can lure and bag the younger bogue with witty charm (more like stalkerish tendecies), and actually keep him

Oh and being a sydneysider- since the prince is/was (dunno) in town.. the amount of OLDER (emphasis) women- dressing up in their best (does sleazy class as best?) just to catch a glimpse of this guy at all the supposed spots he would be.. hmm?

It would make for good entertainment too

21 01 2010
Indi

But also the amusing phenomenon younger bogue male thinking that of course he’s cougar-bait. A variant of the atitude many he-bogues have to gay men. “The one thing worse than a gay guy trying to crack onto you, is if he doesn’t try and crack onto you.”

21 01 2010
Lana

*But also the amusing phenomenon younger bogue male thinking that of course he’s cougar-bait. A variant of the atitude many he-bogues have to gay men.

*lol Funny statement*

21 01 2010
coffeehorse

careful when writing things bogans like that you don’t take a bogan attitude to hillsong, mm’kay? you’re just hating on a megachurch because it’s an easy target. most bogans hate churches. you forget this. especially churches that say “keep it in your pants mate” “obey the law” and “persue self-improvement”.

some of lara’s points are very valid. however, hillsong aren’t into brain-washing. I don’t even like them that much as an organisation.

why not say “the Acer Arena”. for the bogan it’d have the same appeals.

21 01 2010
Lana

Its Lana, :)

And you make a valid point because i was under the impression that Athiesm- which is slowly being killed by the nouvaeu bogue, was the belief of choice.. but i was wrong..

But your missing the point here, Mega churches are not as innocent as they want to be, most operate like companies- selling a lie to people and then God forbid- use his name to market their schemes (pyramid scheme comes to mind).. and gullible people fall for it.. Think there is something about this in the bible* Jesus said help not rob..

And another thing- Jesus hung out with what societies call the lowliest of the low.. that is what true christians should do, sundays should be spent helping others all for the Glory of God, and not filling up the church pews in the hope of receiveing your blessing while the pastor says* THIS IS YOUR SEASON*, what if God thinks otherwise..

Oh and trust me- When God spoke of his body- the church- he did not mean institutions or big palacial buildings- he meant those who worship in spirit(abit out there for some) and truth.. Not in building made of Sticks and stones

21 01 2010
21 01 2010
Bogue

Yeah, good article. But important for the author to realise that this is only their point of view…whilst I agree with a lot of it, and would love to see a change, I think we’d find ourselves in a minority. It’s perceived bogan qualities bely the fact that a large percentage of the population is bogan, so that alone isn’t enough to force a change.

Off the topic, but could easily go under the Southern Cross tattoo article.

We’re actually right all of the time. TBL

21 01 2010
Bogue

So, Southern Cross it is then…but to distinguish it, lets make it green and gold too…with a blue circle in the middle. Oh. crap. Change the national language to Portuguese?

21 01 2010
Going bogue

OT, I know, but a post about frivolous litigation, “compo” and the like would be apt.

Someone above mentioned dags being attracted to this kind of thing. I’d agree with the setniment that the Southern Cross tatt adorned, Indian bashing racist bogan is highly unlikely to attend Hillsong etc. I’d also say that the dags who originally frequented these churches looking for a place to belong have now turned into bogans at the behest of their “church”.

21 01 2010
amr

The Hillsong/Paradise/Edge church phenomenon has been around a while. Paradise in Adelaide has been around at least 25 years that I know of.
The more recent rise can pretty much be attributed to a few individuals who want to make lots of money and not pay tax. The concessions available to a religion or church are nothing short of astonishing.

Think about it. Start a brand/business like a Boost Juice kind of thing and have to pay tax. Or start a church, bring in just as many punters and not pay tax.

21 01 2010
Lana

This whole tax free thing the church has going is wrong on a million levels

- What happened to the saying that Jesus said “give to Caesar (government) what belongs to Caesar,”?

21 01 2010
Bogue

Caesar got voted out…damn barbarians and their left wing attitudes.

21 01 2010
Bogue

…or was it the Vandals that sacked him?

21 01 2010
shazza

This is precisely what Ron Hubbard did amr.

1 02 2010
Louise

Word has it that Gloria Jean’s coffee shop chain pipelines funds to Hillsong.

21 01 2010
Toddo

Of topic, yet on topic, -The parable of the Good Sunshineian;
One morning an easy-going, cheerful, family man was walking between an inner-city train station and his workplace.
On the way he had to pass through a grafiti covered underpass, that had poor lighting because of vandalism.
He was then set upon by 3 guys, 2 were dressed like rappers, the other was wearing a Collingwood jumper. The young men asked him for money, but bashed him senseless before he could answer.
They took his phone, newspaper (crossword complete), wallet, left his shoes because they weren’t nikes, and left the victim in a semi coma in the underpass.
The men ran off with the $25 from the wallet, and sold the phone for $20.
A trendy looking Pastor with tight jeans, nifty t-shirt and a flavour saver walked past and thought that it was a homeless man, so left him alone.
A conservative uptight man walked past, and didn’t want to get his hands dirty, and didn’t have itme to call the cops, so didn’t get involved.
A man who was home from the mines, and had just dropped his mate off at a job interview came along, and saw the curled up body in the pool of blood, and said “are you allright mate?” When the man replied with a gurgling groan, the Sunshinian rolled him over like he’d seen on Bondi rescue, then carried him to his ute parked nearby, and took him to hospital.
Once in the emergency department, he offered to pay for any of his expenses once he found out that the man wasn’t with HBF.
in a paraphrased sort of way, Jesus said go and do likewise.

21 01 2010
Lana

To be honest,

This is very convicting but put beautifully put in a modern way.. and its an eye opener..

21 01 2010
21 01 2010
Indi

Lordy- LBD and gladiator sandals as mourning wear.

Though I’m reliably informed one conservative columnist wore a mini-skirt and thigh-high boots to Paddy McGuiness’ funeral.

1 02 2010
James

Such dignity, such grace… If only we could all conduct ourselves with such reserve and respect at a funeral.

1 02 2010
Indi

It’s OK, it wasn’t Piers Akerman.

1 02 2010
James

Janet Albrechtsen by any chance?

21 01 2010
Bogue

Crikey! Angry, andgry bogans…and lots of them! It’s very sad (seriously), but as one lady on talkback mentioned, the driver was no hero. At the risk of sounding heartless, this frustrates me:

“The tree adjacent to the crash site is surrounded by flowers, bottles of Jim Beam, a Richmond Football Club scarf, packets of cigarettes, candles, Australian and Italian flags and balloons.”

I’ve had this near me too, Lebanese flags spray painted all over the place, dead flowers and crappy old sneakers littering the footpath. People need to mourn, but why do bogans need to turn everyone’s neightbourhood into a dump in the process? And the bogans get angry again if anyone tries to tidy it up. A girl was killed last year when distracted by one of these crash memorials, I bet no-one dumped crap all over the street for her.

21 01 2010
Loftie

This story just keeps getting better….

http://www.news.com.au/national/drunk-driver-crashes-at-mill-park-crash-teens-funeral/story-e6frfkvr-1225822117895

DRUNK DRIVER CRASHES VEHICLE OUT FRONT OF FUNERAL
TOO DRUNK TO WALK TO POLICE CAR

21 01 2010
shazza

This guy was 42, those kids didn’t stand a chance.

21 01 2010
Loftie

not sure I understand what you’re saying there Shazza… ???

21 01 2010
Bogue

47 year old. I’m not sure either Shazza…sounds like the perfect ol’ skool bogan role model to these kids…he probably put the first empty bottle of Beam on the memorial.

21 01 2010
shazza

Sorry 47. With role models like that how were those kids expected to turn out any better? Keeping it on a religious theme idiots beget idiots.

21 01 2010
Loftie

Gotcha….

Yeah true that… I hope they throw the book at him and make a huge example…

Otherwise they’ll run out of trees in Mill Park for memorials….

21 01 2010
shazza

cheeky buggar you are.

21 01 2010
Loftie

Cheeky for sure…
Some say charming and handsome as well…

*To be fair – its not many… but some do…*

21 01 2010
Bogue-ironic

who does this loftie guy think he is?
ive read a few posts of his and he thinks hes pretty clever and special
bet he is the biggest bogan out of everyone here

21 01 2010
Indi

But you gotta love the way the HS bloggers are still going on about raising the driving age to 21 under a story about a 47 year old idiot. Boggissima.

21 01 2010
shazza

and unlicensed.

21 01 2010
Bogue

While we’re at it, lets drop the speed limit! That’ll make these cleownes think twoice before they…erm…speed. And don’t give them kids high powered caahs.

21 01 2010
Indi

The only surprises being the car was registered and absence of other illicit drugs in the car. It’s locally the bogan ‘quadrella’ of charges. Maybe time will fill in these details.

21 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Oh dear god.

Nice black mini skirt on the femmeboge.

Dickheads.

21 01 2010
Ian

It’s not hillsong, but the Chaser, as always, had a great piece on churches like this

21 01 2010
John Vardanega

Ixnay on the aserChay (we don’t want anyone here feeling threatened by references to broad, rounded and polished social satire ;)).

21 01 2010
Sten

Bah… bloody Hillsong.

TBL needs to post about two things conspicuous in their absences: Mixed Martial Arts and Poker

21 01 2010
Angry In Brunswick

“There’s a really good book by the American author Barbara Ehrenreich called Bright Sided — at least the American edition is, which I got from Amazon, I think the Australian version which I saw in a bookshop the other day had a different title for some reason.”

It’s called Smile or Die here. Title too heavy for the seppos to handle. I’m reading it now, it’s great. Basically explains how people fuck themselves over with many kinds of false optimism by not actually dealing with their shit, supplanting it with (in some cases near-mandatory) ‘positive thinking’.

22 01 2010
Matt

I nearly pooed my pants laughing so hard at this.

BWHAHAHAHA

Hillsong is for Bogans and is full of them? I’m laughing so hard right now… into my elbow this is so waaaay off the mark. Hillsong and bogan – nothing could be further apart. Maybe if Hillsong had been in Penrith, but Castle Hill? Give me a break, you were really scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one stuff bogans like!

Let it be known that Matthew Sweet is a little bit biased. He runs a blog on Christianity and ministry that seems to get caught up on him complaining about accurate speed cameras in Queensland. If you listen to intellectuals like this, you deserve to wander off into the moral, philosophical, and economic abyss that is the megachurch. Thanks for playing, Matt. TBL

23 01 2010
Lee

So Castle Hill isn’t bogan Matt? You need to get out more mate.

24 01 2010
Matt

I lived there for 2 years mate, I would know, I have spent most of my life in Logan Qld, one of the great conclaves of Boganism in Australia! So yes I am quite biased… I’m a Bogan from Logan.

24 01 2010
Lee

Hmm, I spent a christmas at Loganlea one year. The ten worst days of my entire life however this does not take from the fact that castle hill is as bogan as it gets.

25 01 2010
Ironhalo

Matt, is the reason you are laughing because the Hillsong zealots count themselves as being ‘more blessed’ by God because they wear Pandora bracelets and Tsubi jeans? Or is it because they have Herringbone bible covers?

Although granted, the Hillsong founders will take any idiot they can get who is happy to swipe a credit card instead of drop a few coins on an offering plate…in the name of Jesus of course.

Here’s some pearler advice from some of the ‘youth leaders/pastors’ some people I know have heard at Hillsong:
‘Get in debt for Jesus guys!’
‘The reason you got sick was because you weren’t being blessed by God. Did you tithe enough over the last few months?’

Hillsong is to the tenats of Christianity as Al’Qaeda is to moderate Islam, and I for one am offended by its presence.

27 01 2010
James

If you want to write a more credible post, then maybe stand aside from your views & go hang out there for a while. It’s obvious in your writing that you’ve really not done due diligence here.

27 01 2010
Ironhalo

Oh please, as much as a night of having my pockets raped by a money hungry cult sounds, I will have to pass.

As for my credibility, I have nothing to lie about as I don’t profit handsomely from twisting the truth…unlike the hillsong founders.

But while we are jumping down that rabbithole, can you explain to me why Bobby Houston told a fellow pastor that his ‘family was damned by god as their son was gay?’ The son in question is a mate of mine so just curious.

My heavily religious sister walked out of a Hillsong rally after they pushed a mobile ATM swiped in her face FOUR times in two hours.

Now what was the bible story about Jesus trashing a church that was set up as a marketplace? Oh that’s right…..

27 01 2010
Angela

You’re also forgetting Planetshakers in Melbourne, I went to a service once and was completely disgusted. There was a 45minute “rock show”, 30minute sermon on tithing to the church so the church can build a big church and a 1hr sermon on how using your brain when considering Jesus’ miracles prevent you from “discovering” his path for you. So to be a christian you should like loud music and smoke machines, pay lots of money to the church and not think?

27 01 2010
Ironhalo

Every extremist wing of the Pentecostal churches can stick their failed ‘prosperity’ theory of religion up their arse. It goes against all basic theories of Christianity, and I hold it in about as much as contempt as Scientology.

And that’s saying something as my hatred of those loonies knows no bounds.

1 02 2010
Louise

Did Mary have Jesus so she could get the five-grand baby-bonus??

19 02 2010
Faux-gan

I disagree totally with the above article. Isn’t fightyness a pre-req for bogaliciousness? I have been in fully sick fights with folk of all creeds and religions but never with hillsongers.

think about it…

25 02 2010
Matt

It is to be my understanding that collection plates are not needed at Pentecostal/Evangelical Churches as rather than pass the plate you can have your wages garnished for a tax free donation to save time.
Just apply 10-11% of your income and they’ll be happy.
As for these style Mega-Churches in the Western Suburbs, the biggest would be City Church. Able to brain Wash the smartest of self doubting and confused teenagers.

26 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

hey!
steady on here people!
christians are not bogans.
they’re Idiots.

23 04 2010
newtaste

Hillsong is for bogans? The Hills district of Sydney, where the Hillsong Hills Campus at Norwest is, is not a bogan area.

A couple of weeks ago Brian Houston said that Hillsong St Mary’s in Sydney’s western suburbs was in an area with a lot of challenging problems – i think he meant it was full of bogans – which it is.

So get it right. Hillsong Hills Campus at Norwest – No Bogans. Hillsong St Mary’s – Bogans.

And the writer of this Things Bogans Like blog – Bogan.

23 04 2010
Troy

I’ve been to Hillsong Church a bunch of times, so maybe I can clear somethings up:

- Nobody (Pastors or anyone else) has ever mentioned or encouraged anybody to vote for a contestant or even to watch Australian Idol. That is a fact.

- Nobody is forced to give money at Hillsong Church, and they make that very clear, it is a personal choice.

- Something that was not mentioned in this article was all of the good that volunteers from Hillsong do in the community every single week, and not to mention the millions of dollars they donate to aid and development every single year!

Take a look at the update magazine here to see all the great things they’re doing. http://hillsong.com/visionsunday

You may not agree with their belief in Jesus, but you can’t say that they aren’t doing amazing things for humanity!

23 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I can. I tried a Gloria Jeans coffee once. :-(

23 04 2010
Troy

Thanks for that, you reminded me of another one:

Hillsong Church does not own Gloria Jeans:

http://hillsong.com/clarification-regarding-hillsong-church-gloria-jeans

23 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Close enough.

23 04 2010
vivisection

yes but they use the collected money to help queers find a cure. Guilt by ignorant association

20 12 2010
v'visexxxion

This is a little scary. I knew i didn’t go to Chaddy for good reasons.

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/shopping-and-spirituality-meet-at-chadstone-20101219-191xl.html

31 01 2011
Emma

The only comments here actually worth reading are the ones from people actually having visited the church themselves. ‘A friend of mine’ or ‘my heavily religious sister’ really doesn’t count because it’s all gossip, hearsay and exaggeration.

All Churches ask for money, the sooner people start accepting this, the better. I’ve been to many Churches and some stated their purposes (fundraising to restore historic sites, helping bushfire victims, etc) whereas others didn’t. Hillsong does take in a large amount of money – you’re right. Considering the Churches they run all over the world alongside the newly opening Church in New York, it takes a lot of money to do this. On top of this, they provide free counselling to members and often host major events where the money goes to providing general catering needs. Every single major Hillsong conference is free. The only things that aren’t often provide shield a large number of costs and I’ve never heard of someone wanting to go but being rejected for a lack of costs.

If your biggest argument against Hillsong is money, then that’s not Pentecostals but at the very least all Abrahamic religions (that’s right, they all promote tithing).
If your argument is that the music is cult like, then you are extremely ignorant. It is stupid to think that people wouldn’t adapt a tradition over time to make it more relevant to the current society, and in this case Hillsong adapted hymns.
If your argument is that they are too ‘happy clappy’ – well, how does that affect you? As far as you’re concerned they’re all out there being positive funding these ‘money grabbing’ coffee stores and shoving merchandise down each others throats and so what does it matter? They are putting more money into your economy and are trying to abide by decent morals.
If you are going to shut Hillsong down

31 01 2011
Emma

The only comments here actually worth reading are the ones from people actually having visited the church themselves. ‘A friend of mine’ or ‘my heavily religious sister’ really doesn’t count because it’s all gossip, hearsay and exaggeration.
FACT- All Christian churches ask for money, not just Hillsong, in fact all Abrahamic religions asking for tithing. So if you’re going on a rant, make sure you know what you’re talking about because singling out Pentecostals for doing that is just closed minded.
FACT- Most religions seeing being gay as wrong, alongside things like murder and adultery. Don’t be so surprised that Hillsong is the same. That’s not just a religious thing either, most scientific Athiests agree because it is in no way beneficial to procreation and the progress of the human society. That being said, you could also argue evolutionists would support it because it will kill off the humans with ‘unnatural urges’
FACT- Like every other common church, you can be a member of Hillsong without paying a single cent. Hillsong asks for no more money than any other Church – they have a collection plate which is passed around once and they also provide a range of Christian products. I don’t see how that’s any different from stores selling crucifixes or WWJD bracelets.
Food for thought- Christianity is said to have been around for 1950 years (give or take). Obviously the religion is going to adapt to make traditions more relevant to the current society. If that means taking the message of a classical Hymn and replaying it with words and music more appreciated by this society then I guess all of Christianity needs to return to traditional Latin because progress is cult like.
FINALLY Hillsong is actually a pretty accurate description of its surroundings – it has bogans and westies, Islanders, wogs and Asians. You can’t really classify it being one culture.

18 03 2011
Tj

Pole dancing for Jesus (because mere mortals are incapable of the suffering endured by watching scary chicks pole dance..)
http://video.news.com.au/1846593820/Pole-dancing-for-Jesus

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