The bogan clings to its habits like a mollusc to a shipwreck’s hull. It will only holiday in places with familiar franchised retailers, it will only drink green beer on St Patrick’s Day, and it will trust only Richard Wilkins via satellite from Los Angeles. But sometimes the bogan grows tired of this predictability. It wonders if the highs and lows of life outside of its cocoon are worth experiencing. It craves xtreme emotion. At this point, the bogan will sometimes purchase a non-Jetstar international airfare, watch SBS News, or try something in wholemeal. Alarmed and confused by the ordeal, it concludes that it can have its desire for new horizons ably met in radio form by a myopic shock jock. Kyle Sandilands not only discovered the fickleness of bogan rage when he ran the rape lie detector skit on Sydney radio, but also the graciousness of bogan forgiveness.
The bipolar bogan was quick to pardon Sandilands, as its dwindling outrage was usurped by its growing need to be outraged again. Channel 7 soon restored Kyle to his rightful position of luring bogans onto talkback radio. The Melbournian bogan, for years denied the true Sydney-style talkback radio experience, now has Talk Radio 1377. On AM, no less – the original bastion of bogan-baiting hate-mongers – this network features the crème de la crème of bogan baiting hate-mongers. Here, among the company of Sammy Newman, Andrew Bolt and alcoholic ex-A Current Affair hatewright Chris Smith, the bogan can find rare refuge from the Political Correctness Gone Mad which is rampant throughout the latte-sipping media. The middle-aged and elderly bogans have been feeling as though they’ve been missing out, with the younger bogans enjoying their Ed Hardy clothes, Australian Idol and anal sex. There has for years been a simmering rage, laying dormant, and waiting to be activated by some old-fashioned mad hating skills.
Talk radio has the requisite skills to appeals directly to the bogan’s hate gland. Where A Current Affair can only hint that Asians are invading the country, Andrew Bolt can say that multiculturalism “rewards most those who integrate least”. Perhaps in good time, he will be able to fan the flames of a race riot, much as Alan Jones in Cronulla. To the bogan, calling into talkback radio for a pause-poor skewed rant is the beginning, middle, and end of “doing something”. From there, it is perfectly positioned to blame everything on the government.