#101 – A Current Affair

9 03 2010

This is the worst show on television. The bogan, with an alarming physical dependency on it, tunes in each weeknight at 6:30 sharp for its hit of outrage, denial, and quick fixes. As the familiar tones of the program’s journalistically authoritative host reverberate from the interest-free home theatre system, it lures all occupants of the McMansion into the grand sitting  room. Hunched around the television as though it’s the only heater in Antarctica, they are ready to receive their 30 minute dosage.

Without this show, the bogan would be lost. It has spent years cultivating a deep hatred of authority, immigrants, young people, non-bogans ripping off bogans, and bogans ripping off bogans. A hatred this huge would topple over under the weight of its own fundamental irrationality unless it was constantly fed and validated by moving pictures and sound. Worse still, if left to its own devices to contemplate its hates, there is a slim but unacceptable possibility that the bogan will realise that it loathes itself.

Thankfully, the bogan can turn to its television at 6:30pm to ward off any dawning self-awareness. The show’s journalists will exercise their own freedom of speech in a bogan-approved manner, cutting off or drowning out anyone featured on the show who attempts to unravel the bogan’s fragile social tapestry with an independent opinion. With the boring parts of conventional news reporting eliminated thus, the bogan can immerse itself in the x-treme journalistic elements of ambush, pursuit, hidden cameras, and selective editing.

This show is possibly the most finely honed, perfectly evolved bogan-attracting machine in existence. After years of patient trial and error, it has narrowed down the list of stories it presents to eight meta-bogan pieces. It will inform the bogan how to lose weight without fad diets or exercise, inform the bogan about the existence of con artists while chasing them down the street, inform the bogan about how generally evil young people are, inform the bogan about the dangers of foreign people entering the country, inform the bogan about what ‘crazy stunt’ the ‘Chaser boys’ have recently pulled, inform the bogan about welfare cheats robbing them of their taxes, inform the bogan about any product, service or general notion that will permit the filming of semi-exposed breasts and inform the bogan about any program on the network that might need some extra free advertising. The bogan will watch this show, then turn on Home and Away, and sleep comfortably, content that it is now an empowered and informed member of society. And that nothing is their fault.


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205 responses

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I called this is #100. I am just ahead of everyone I guess. Just like in real life.

9 03 2010
common man

LOL. only until the medication wears off my altered large ego~shudder~,,shivers i better grab more before anyone “notices”

11 03 2010
Taneal

I hope you can go to bed happy tonight. maybe tonight you can give the porn a rest and cry yourself asleep instead. I wish i was a superior being like you.

8 07 2013
J Beauty

The “A Current Affairs” is full of rubbish. The program, and its producers and presenters, promote lies and poor unsubstantiated biased opinions. They go to extreme lengths to lie, twist and turn the truth to how they want to sell their story at whatever price they can to brainwash the public. They sneak around and ambush people to get their video shots. They selectively edit material that were obtained in unscrupulous manners in order to meet their sensationalism agenda. The program creates more tension among members of the community, and provokes unnecessary public anger and outrage by airing stories presented in their own predetermined slant with reckless disregard for the truth or obligation to fairly present all sides of their stories. Time and time again the program was found to have breached broadcasting codes of conduct by relevant Australian authorities. Yet they persist to delude and mislead the public just so that they can get viewers to watch their sensationalised stories in order to appease their paying advertisers during prime time television periods. They have absolute disregard for the relevant Australian authorities concerning television broadcasting, and absolute disregard to their viewers’ need to be informed in a fair and unbiased manner. To say the least, their approach to news and journalism is insulting and criminal. I appeal to the public to recognise that what we see on television is heavily laced with bias, that we should not believe what we see on television, and look into the issues presented critically before we adopt any knee jerk reactions in voicing opinions towards any persons targeted by the A Current Affairs Program. I prefer to think that there are many sides to a story, and not simply the A Current Affair’s biased side of the story.

9 03 2010
Jenni

Rehash of post 99. Disappointed TBL.

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You’re too stupid to read this blog.

9 03 2010
Nick Buick

HAHAHA!

9 03 2010
Jenni

Fiona, you really are an ugly troll.

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I am neither ugly nor a troll. I stand by my assertion re: you, however.

9 03 2010
Benjamin

Oh come now Fiona. You most decidedly are a troll.

As for your appearance, like your personality, none of us have any idea whatsoever.

Except, just maybe, yourself 😉

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Why am I a troll? Because I come from a superior station in life and am not ashamed of it?

9 03 2010
Benjamin

I don’t know why. It could be related to feelings of inadequacy (despite, or perhaps because of your high station), or a need for attention. Histrionic personality disorder is a possibility too.

Ohhhhhh. I see.

Well, you’re a troll because you make deliberately inflamatory comments in order to get responses.

Not necessarily a bad thing. In all seriousness, you are a bit of an acquired taste, but very amusing. This place wouldn’t be the same without you. A good troll can be lots of fun.

10 03 2010
StevenJ

What she said wasn’t trolling. The joke is very simple to get. I’ll admit, Fiona’s tone was not perfectly conveyed. The explosive reaction however proved her correct. A response with some modesty or humour, or just a quantum of class would have been more appropriate than Jenni’s.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Wrong! My tone was PERFECTLY conveyed!

10 03 2010
common man

why 6 techno nerds continue this charade is beyond common decency hey zhang ruifang???thus leaving their morals “lesser” than most

11 03 2010
Taneal

Show us a picture and prove that you are not a troll. I’m thinking missing teeth and a hairy moll on your chin. Prove me wrong sour bitch.

12 03 2010
AlyssaKT

she must have a big chin:
moll (ml)
n. Slang
1. A woman companion of a gunman or gangster.
2. A woman prostitute.

12 03 2010
Taneal

I hope your itchy box will be cured soon. You make prissy girls looks bad. We all know that they you are a red head deep down. Stop dying and start trying.

9 03 2010
Sten

Agreed. And you Melbournites even had a day off yesterday in which to construct a new article.

9 03 2010
Simon

Sten and Jenni, too funny, you guys were kidding, right?

9 03 2010
Sten

Haven’t had my caffiene yet. I realised as soon as I hit “Submit Comment” that I was leaving myself open for ridicule.

I hate mornings.

9 03 2010
Simon

We all have an off moment, quick to the coffee machine.

9 03 2010
Benjamin

This is why I have my first coffee before 8.

Alas, it just leaves me with no excuse when I still put my foot in it.

9 03 2010
pinky has a brain

I don’t think it is wise to come on TBL without that first coffee in you, Sten. hehehe Mornings do suck, I’ll give you that! I hope your day improves

9 03 2010
Sten

Thanks, but it’s just gone from bad to a total catastrophe.

9 03 2010
Simon

Do tell.

9 03 2010
Sten

Nah, it’s all good. I just get fed up with having to do the Management’s thinking for them. I don’t get paid enough to think. Goddamn Bogans.

12 03 2010
Shirley M

Whatever one may think about LOL Fiona of Toorak, and we all know her reception is as vast as something really vast, you’ve got to love the vigour of people’s stance towards her.

For the record Taneal, it’s a hairy MOLE on her chin. Fiona has a hairy mole on her chin.

9 03 2010
Sarah

Jenni… um… that’s the point… they’re clones..

Thanks Sarah. We often wonder here at TBLHQ why it is that many of the earliest posters are so oblivious…TBL

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Present poster excepted of course.

Of course. TBL

9 03 2010
Jenni

So tomorrows post wil be repeat of #100 with Matty Johns name inserted?Can’t wait for that one.

9 03 2010
Kate

I thought it would be Shane Warne.

9 03 2010
Kate

Aw now come on. TT and ACA have exactly the same ‘news’ segments playing at the same time. Even though ACA is played a half an hour later in Newcastle.

9 03 2010
Will S

We novocastrians love our moral outrage so much, we just have to watch both

9 03 2010
Gavin

Newcastle could well implode if they were broadcast at the same time

9 03 2010
James

The fact they do the same thing in Canberra says a lot about the state of our public service.

9 03 2010
Ghenghis

Luckily SBS and ABC news shows protect the Canberrans from the crud on the commercial channels. TT and ACA are only there for Tuggeranong, Charnwood and Queanbeyan citizens who don’t like soaps, but are too dumb for “real” news.

9 03 2010
James

Good old Tuggers and Charny – the nicknames say it all, really.

9 03 2010
Faux-gan

Leave Tuggers alone ya Woden poofs!

9 03 2010
James

I live in the inner north, and trust me when I say I would not last five minutes even in Woden.

9 03 2010
Faux-gan

What, Reid? Wine sippin, skirt flouncin soy-latte quaffin ANU bar Jockey!

Mind you, when i was a young ‘un in the early 90’s i did get beat up for my shoes in Tuggeranong bus interchange so i take your point. That was during the ill fated ‘homeboy movement’ when everyone listened to NWA because they couldn’t understand the themes in Public Enemies lyrics.

9 03 2010
The Boganator

Don’t hate on Tuggers just cause we out-bogan the rest of the ACT… to truly appreciate this site’s cutting critique of boganity, one truly has had to experience it in all its glory

9 03 2010
Faux-gan

How about ‘the Creek’? Cooleman Court is like the bogan that time forgot.

10 03 2010
Sten

Aren’t they called “Booners” in Canberra?

10 03 2010
James

Boonies is a pretty common term. Bogans is catching on though.

10 03 2010
Faux-gan

Yea we were… uh, i mean they were…

*cough*

6 08 2014
franz chong

It sucks thanks to the people in the ACT we nationally are now subjected to this CRAP at 7pm weeknights.If 9 thinks they can solve the 7pm problems in the absence of an up to the minute sitcom or a good game show with ACA they must be pretty dumb.

31 01 2016
franz chong

The Bitch who stole Jim Parsons alias known as Sheldon Cooper and the Big Bang Theory spot.Granted ratings wise it wasn’t the best and was being milked to death but it was fun and light entertainment which is more than be said of ACA and Tracey Grimshaw.Can we all please write to 9 and pull this rubbish off the air ASAP and put in the latest versions of Mom and Two Broke Girls the Australians sadly never got to see.

9 03 2010
Kate

Well pretty much every regional TV station that is owned by Channel 9.

31 01 2015
franz chong

If It was up to me I would suggest to them a Mixture of First Half of the week Mom and Two Broke Girls plus any other old school sitcom such as Caroline in the City,My Two Dads and Diff’Rent Strokes after the Evening News.By the way who are the cheaper than Alan Harper bastards running 9 these days.

21 04 2010
Nat

I moved from Newcastle to Canberra…
Oh wait… *ahem* I moved from Newi to the Berra, and so missed the significance of this programming genius to cater to my need to potentially hear the same stories twice in one night.

9 03 2010
lux

Ahhh, i see what you did there, TBL. You’re saying TT and ACA are essentially the same show. Very clever. Do a post on Woman’s Day and New Idea next.

9 03 2010
Kaiks

I’d like to see both AFL and NRL The Footy Shows represented, unfortunately TBL would have to watch a few episodes to analyse each hosts’ role in each show.

9 03 2010
Benjamin

Applause!

Hilarious!

9 03 2010
Persephone

Tis well-named though. They are rather keen on affairs that celebs are currently having.

9 03 2010
Going bogue

Speaking of ACA, did anyone catch Lara Bingle’s interview last night?

9 03 2010
stonefree

Tracey Grimshaw is wasted talent on this show. But the boys club of Channel 9 love her, ever since she got wasted on air at the Year 2000 New Years Day broadcast and kept calling Richard Wilkins “Dicky”. Champagne television.

9 03 2010
Shirley M

Please don’t use the word talent in the same sentence as Tracey Grimshaw.

9 03 2010
Mezz

I just can’t stand Tracy Grim-Jaw – Hideous woman that she is. Certainly did not catch Lara Bingles interview last night.

20 03 2010
Haze

Let’s face it – this site is way too targeted. I’ve lived in Europe for 12 years and let me assure you – ALL AUSTRALIANS ARE BOGANS!

ACA is reflexive. i.e. it’s a reflection of society that in turn propogates the redneckness of Australia.

Australia’s a shameful, arid backward hellhole at the end of the earth where it belongs!

5 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Garn get f*cked ya caaarnt!

5 04 2010
Tombarina

Chub, that’s very unbecoming.
What do we do when confronted with such a silly, uninteresting individual and their silly, uninteresting opinion?

Hmmmm?

Yes! That’s right.

Now run off to Glassin’GlassesRUs, there’s a good lad….

5 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

…sorry Miss.

@Haze *GLASS*
(caaant)

5 04 2010
Tombarina

That’s better.

1. Glare
2. Glass
3. “Garn get f*cked ya caaarnt”.

We have a system, Chubby, and it’s there to benefit everyone. Without it, the world would be topsy-turvy anarchy.

5 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

yes miss.

5 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

all europeans are pooftas.

*glass*

6 08 2014
franz chong

Give me Anna Faris and Mom anytime as a 7pm offering on 9 over that GARBAGE and it’s God Awful Presenter.To Quote Sheldon Cooper She took his spot!!!!at his rather overdone sitcom same hour.

31 01 2015
franz chong

It doesn’t belong.Personally after the likes of Jana Wendt left the role of ACA host once Wonder World ended should have gone to Catriona Rowntree.I like her journalism style even though she was more of a Kids TV presenter.

31 01 2016
franz chong

Talent?What’s there.That’s something say Hamish Blake or Jim Parsons have on the 9 shows they have both appeared on.A title not worthy for Grimshaw.

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

She called him Dicky just last night over satellite to Hollywood after the Oscars.
Remember that controversy years ago when she was purportedly locked out of his hotel room naked after their alleged romp?

By “wasted talent”, Stonefree, do you mean utterly ridiculous?

9 03 2010
Antosha

Speaking of Oscars.. thank heavens The Hurt Locker won. If I hear anything more about that ‘World Of Warcraft on Steroids’ Movie I shall be forced to exclaim ‘ALAS !!!’

5 04 2010
JimC

I have to agree.

I found SMURFAHONTAS to be stunningly boring, poorly acted (except by the hot blue cat lady) and laughably one-dimensional.

5 04 2010
Tombarina

Bwahahahaha! Smurfahontas sums it up perfectly.

After seeing the film, I thoughtlessly ventured the opinion that the visual technology was the only thing going for it – that otherwise, Wall-E offered a more subtle social commentary on naughty, naughty humans and the poor, old environment.

After 20 minutes of “bull$H!T” and “so it’s OK to KILL THE ENVIRONMENT, then?”, it became shiny-clear that my views were in the minority.

I’d point out that Smurfahontas far transcends the bogue, too – it’s equally beloved by the hard-Green corp, the mentally challenged and particularly undiscerning 8-year-olds.

9 03 2010
Tone

I see what you did there.

I LOL’ed.

9 03 2010
Shirley M

Hahahahaha. X-tremely funny. I love you TBL.

9 03 2010
Peter

This post is entirely appropriate. After all, what Grand Sitting Room is complete without duel widescreen interest-free home theatre systems? Then and only then can the bogan be fully loaded with a comprehensive arsenal of pertinent and comparative facts with which to provide its compelling arguments for or against the hot topics of the day. What is surprising is why Harvey Norman – or any other bogan-preferred providor of interest-free appliances with which to tart-up the McMansion – haven’t already alerted their marketing departments. Bit tardy, Gerry. In every sense of the word…

9 03 2010
Mark

well ACA really is slightly less shit than TT

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

HAHAHA – ahhh…. er?

6 08 2014
franz chong

They are as bad as each other.I started having flashbacks to the Jana Wendt era being made to watch it for Primary School as a Kid and hated it of the Eighties.

15 03 2010
lessi4791

Personally, I think it’s the other way round purely because I can’t watch Tracy Grimshaw without wanting to throw something at her. Personal bias aside, they really are as equally bad and thank god my private school english department decided to use both as a fantastic case study of why we need to develop solid critical literacy skills.

9 03 2010
Troy

I think there should be an article about dogs. Bogans love their dogs.

9 03 2010
libertarianvegetarian

Only if they are staffies or piggers. And only if they are in the back of the ute.
If they really loved their dogs they’d have them in the cab. Although the bogan female does like to drive around with some kind of rat-dog on her lap with its head sticking out the window, just waiting to cause an accident.

9 03 2010
Sten

Oh dear… I remember one morning, on my way out to Botany on the Bus, when I saw the aftermath of just such an accident. For those who might not remember (it got a lot of attenetion in the Sydney media), a woman races through a red light because her dog has distracted her, and she actually turned around to see what the problem was.

The problem was that through her inattention, she was t-boned by a bus coming across the intersection… at about 60km/h. Worse, the car was rammed into a bus-shelter, which was torn out of the ground and joined the unfortunate tangle of mobile metal.

Needless to say, the young woman died. Her dog survived though…

9 03 2010
James

The line reading “The show’s journalists…” should read “The show’s ‘journalists’…”.

9 03 2010
JimC

No. It was plural not possessive.

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

brain snap, James… 🙂

9 03 2010
James

What I am saying here is that the people involved in making ACA are hardly journalists. They have the apostrophe correct – I was suggesting to add inverted commas to the word “journalists”, as in “so-called journalists”.

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

ah ha! I should never have doubted you.

9 03 2010
JimC

Considering I once heard one of ACA’s ‘on-air personalities’ once call someone “a molesterer” I do agree that the ‘J’ word should be used very sparingly when referring to these people.

I guess to be on those shows you’ve just got to be willing to take a punch in the face from a dodgy builder or promote a new miracle diet with a straight face.

9 03 2010
Simon

Yep, that appears to be the maximum requirement.

9 03 2010
James

I like the term “on-air personalities”. Sums it up quite well, and is far more accurate than “journalists”.

And in all fairness to the staff at TT and ACA Simon and Jim, they probably need year twelve equivalent education, and most likely a driver’s license.

9 03 2010
Simon

Sorry James, did not realise we had to be fair to them. I reckon the camera man does the driving though.

9 03 2010
Will S

some of ACA’s absolute best work

9 03 2010
JimC

I wish a car would skip the curb and take out the lot of them.

5 04 2010
Tombarina

This is horrifying, Will.

A perfect, in ACA/TT terms, kiddy-fiddler (weirdly-dressed and mad as a loon), token talking-head platitudes from Hetty “Uber-media-tart” Johnson, and some of the worst non-journalism you’ll see.

I’m baffled as to the purpose of this story, except to see some vile bearded cretin frothing at the mouth at a clean-shaven cretin.

*puts on Serious Hat*
Stories like this are deadly, in that they perpetuate the stereotype of the weird, creepy, grossly unattractive, poorly educated paedophile. Dennis Ferguson is another.

Statistically, a child is at vastly greater risk of abuse from a family member or very close family friend…and the abuse is most likely to actually take place in either the family home, or the home of a family member.

Also statistically, the likelihood of a child being abused is vanishingly small. And there’s nothing to suggest child abuse is on the rise – simply, that it’s being blessedly brought out into the open now.

Ergo, peddling the notion of the “creepy paedo behind every second bush” is grossly irresponsible fear-mongering which actually serves as a smokescreen for
the statistically more likely offenders – kindly old Uncle Morrie, or Dad’s-good-mate-Trevor – both inoffensive, socially-functioning, non-nutter types.

5 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Bravo Tombarina!

Very true.

5 04 2010
AlyssaKT

EXACTLY! I kept trying to remind people that as dangers go, Dennis Ferguson is relatively harmless now, as he’s recognised and people are alert to him. He’s certainly not invited to the family BBQ.
The energy wasted focusing all of the hatred on him when relatives, mates and neighbours have far more access to your children is beyond me.

5 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. To be fair, it’s not ACA who keep showing and linking to the video….

5 04 2010
Tombarina

True, Fi.
But this particular vision is virtually interchangeable with about 10 other TT/ACA “exclusives”, when successive spiffily-dressed “journos” with outraged expressions make the earth-shattering revelation that there are real, live child-molesters OUT THERE, then chase them down the street.
Only thing that marginally differentiates this vision from the rest is that the cretin du jour looks like an apoplectic garden gnome and wears his pants tucked into his socks. (“Ooohh, c’mon look, Wayne. Pant-sock-tucking! So, THAT’S how paedophiles dress?! Best be on the lookout…”)

12 04 2011
Stormy

That’s way the bsettes answer so far!

9 03 2010
pinky has a brain

MUHAHAHAHAHAH – Thanks TBL, I needed that!

9 03 2010
Loftie

I do love #99, #100, #101
It is almost like the olympic winners podium…
I close my eyes and see
Naomi for bronze, Tracey for Silver, and Fev for Gold…

I’m sure there’s some photoshoppers out there that could create this image for us…

infact a TBL gallery would be a great addition to this blog… but I’m scared that the interweb would implode from the sheer volume of bogue-images out there…

9 03 2010
Simon

Can Fiona present the medals Loftie? Photoshop her in there as well.

9 03 2010
Loftie

I can’t see why not – though not sure where I could source an image of the fair maiden Fiona…
Perhaps I’ll need to take a camera up the tree with me…

9 03 2010
Simon

I would have thought you had a Bingle style of photo for us by now.

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. http://twitter.com/Fiona_of_Toorak

Compliments of @LordLamington.

9 03 2010
Simon

I could not find the photo Fiona?

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It’s the background image, silly!

9 03 2010
Simon

Got it! Yours is classier than Lara. But you don’t need to be told that do you!

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Of course. You can’t be surprised, surely? Have you learned nothing about / from me?

9 03 2010
common man

LOL. if they had,they would have noticed i/us in the front row on insight yesterday damn frontal lobe shhh

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I never would have guessed someone LESS coherent than James Hunter existed. I was wrong.

10 03 2010
brad

methinks Loftie is nursing a fragile heart since the new boy Jimmy has come on the scene and stole his thunder?

9 03 2010
Shirley M

My neighbours are more bogan than bogan and I just heard them having a conversation about how they can’t believe Leah actually has feelings for Jay(?). I realised they were talking about Home and Away when daughter said to mother ‘We’ll just have to wait until 7 to see what happens, mum’.

9 03 2010
George

Heheh, I think it’s funny that this post is a re-hash. No need to write a new one, really 😛

9 03 2010
pb

very good tbl, but maybe the home and away reference should be changed to two and a half men, surely the most bogan show on television.

9 03 2010
StevenJ

To put simply my opinon of this repetition…..

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

That is all.

9 03 2010
Kate

But still what is more entertaining? Con artists trying to get away from the camera, feral tenants from hell or the hysteria of rotten vegetables and over priced items in your local supermarket?

9 03 2010
Troy

I love it when they do a report on Australia’s latest “Golden girl”.

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I love it when they (or No Idea mag) think anyone cares about Susie Maroney’s latest drama. Oh right, they (Bogans) DO CARE!

Huh?? WHY?

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You mean “Our Susie”? Not be confused with “Our Elle” or *shudder* “Our Nicole”? And by “our”, I mean “theirs”.

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Exactly! Do you think “Our Susie” is really so pathetically desperate for attention that she has to report every part of her existence to the public – or is she merely taking advantage of their stupidity ($$)?

9 03 2010
Simon

Um, yes to the first bit.

9 03 2010
James

Agreed. The second bit would require a level of self awareness beyond the grasp of the average celebribogan.

9 03 2010
vivisection

Always with an old shot of Susie covered in pig lard about to swim the icy cold waters. I wouldn’t recognise her without the pig fat.

9 03 2010
Simon of South Yarra

A Beautiful set of Bookends for the the Fevolator – I was suffering deja vu all over againuntil I got the joke

Sheer genius

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Please move out of South Yarra. Collingwood is perhaps more your grammatical style.

9 03 2010
Keeping Kosher Klansman

Love it. You magnificent, lazy bastards. Slave over a hot computer all morning and for what? A goshdarn rerun. A clipshow. A c*nt affair. It’s as if you’re one of those awful TV shows that incessantly repeat the same old stories day after day, year after year. And your loyal minions continue to lap it up. I’m outraged™. Had a bloody gutful. *glass*

You’re my no-exercise, no-diet miracle cure for the horrors of the working week.

9 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

hah! (But I still feel slightly cheated…)

9 03 2010
common man

LOL.@fi since you have the ability to remove the reply option you should have the abilty to scroll up an see that self harm is what the doctor warned the medications damaging effect is it havin on your/our brain please DO NOT operate heavy machinery today okay

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

bahaha – Fiona lives for replies, are you kidding?

The Reply button disappears sometimes – possibly after threads get too long. Or a glitch in the matrix.

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Feedback from the lesser people (or as it seems they prefer to be called, “common”) is how I know I’m performing my charitable work well.

9 03 2010
common man

LOL.so the apperant link to tbl,s staff shines even brighter thus leaving any interlect like shazza,linda,fiona,indi, not bothering with these predictable/lame old topic,s or yourself, but if you persist in oppressing an brainwashing the gulibull have fun youll need it because your use of the entrapment card to gain acsess to quik wit lost it effect on many that realise how baised/nieve this blog has become bye nowLOL.LOL.LOL.

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You make the part of my brain that developed after the age of 5, hurt. In other words, pretty much all of it.

9 03 2010
James

You should post some stuff at The Punch, Fiona. I think you would get quite a reaction from the plebs over there. It is News Ltd – is your ban just Herald Sun, or News Ltd more generally?

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Just the Hun. The Punch is too try-hard for my classically educated tastes. I prefer my bogan in unadulterated form.

9 03 2010
James

Surely the faux-educated bogans would be far more fun to knock from their perches than simple ones…

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Why do you think I’m here?

9 03 2010
James

That makes no sense. You prefer unadulterated bogans yet come here to knock down try-hard ones. What was your objection to adding a little fun to Punch threads again?

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Whilst I prefer my bogan unadulterated, if I must encounter it in the faux-educated form, I prefer to find it here. Really, it’s quite simple James.

9 03 2010
Simon

Thanks Fi, always knew you loved us.

9 03 2010
James

Where is your sense of noblesse oblige?

9 03 2010
Simon

Ok, we need that translator back.

9 03 2010
Loftie

off topic – but certainly a ‘high-class’ story that ACA/TT could run…

http://www.news.com.au/weird-true-freaky/florida-woman-crashes-while-shaving-bikini-area/story-e6frflri-1225838500308

*Florida Woman Crashes Car while shaving bikini area…
*Ex husband in the car at the time, told to hold the wheel while she shaves…
*Was heading to new boyfriends, was getting ‘ready’ for the visit

Classic… Even the USA has bogans…

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Great story. But did you just say “Even the USA has Bogans” – EVEN?!

9 03 2010
Ash

I always get the perception that TT is more home spun current affairs, ie unpretentious, it appeals to the average non thinking pleb surburbanite, where as with CA they seem to exude a more serious authoritarian air whilst still catering for the same demographic.

9 03 2010
Simon

Ash, have to agree with you my son. ACA do try to pretend they are more highbrow whereas TT just accepts they are bogan and gets on with it. Bit like comparing St Kilda and Collingwood.

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. James: “noblesse oblige”. OMG, don’t tell me you’re a Wodehouse fan. I simply couldn’t stand it.

9 03 2010
James

Worry not – I am no fan of Wodehouse. I was simply pointing out that someone of your standing in the online community has an obligation to enlighten plebs as to their obvious inferiority regardless of whether they like to poke fun at bogans.

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. True enough, but I must also pay attention to the fact that I can only be in so many places at once. For the moment, the Punch is out.

9 03 2010
Simon

I’m not sure where to start with this story. Help ACA.

A MAN who pleaded guilty to his 11th unlicensed driving charge believes his troubles began when he was stabbed in the back while having sex.

Peter Maxwell Riddle, 48, admitted to driving without a licence after cops caught him motoring along Palmerston’s Temple Terrace in a purple ute on October 7.

His defence lawyer Ambrith Abayasekara argued leniency for Riddle, saying his offending was sparked by a stabbing several years ago, which led to lengthy periods of unemployment, The Northern Territory News reports.

Mr Abayasekara did not go into further details of the knifing.

NT Supreme Court documents reveal Riddle was stabbed in the back while he was having sex and trying to organise a three-way orgy in November 2003.

Riddle was having intercourse with a woman in a caravan in Stuart Park, when he invited 19-year-old Terri Lee-Anne Roebuck – who was watching – to join in.

She then stabbed him in the back with a kitchen knife. Riddle paused in his sexual activity and noticed the knife sticking out of his back.

The sentencing remarks noted that Riddle, while he was trying to get the knife out of his back, “noticed … that the female with whom he’d been having intercourse had left”.

9 03 2010
Faux-gan

Hey TBL, when did you start moderating comments?

9 03 2010
Anti-Fiona

Some light reading re our “beloved” fiona

http://tweetingtoohard.com/u/Fiona_of_Toorak

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Ah, memories. 🙂

9 03 2010
damn it all

If anyone saw the ad for ACA this week, it ticked the boxes like they were reading this post.

9 03 2010
Andrew

PS – Haven’t you done this one before?? Hey if you’re going to be a nasty little shit, at least try to be original. Do try not to repeat yourself…

If I’m mistaken about this being a repeat, it’s probably because your snobbery is very repetitive and boring, when you come right down to it…

9 03 2010
Antosha

Welcome back Andrew. I see your venom glands are re-stocked.

9 03 2010
Andrew

hey this whole blog runs on venom, so i guess i’m in good company here!! you nasty, nasty people! and you think you’re so superior! sigh…

PS – anyone here know the meaning of the word “snob”?

9 03 2010
Shirley M

Snob: noun: a person with an exaggerated respect for high social position or wealth who seeks to associate with social superiors and dislikes people or activities regarded as lower-class.

Hope this helps, Andrew.

Would you like me to provide you with the meaning of comedy as well?

9 03 2010
Andrew

LOL actually I already knew what a snob is …I just haven’t come across any for a long time, until I had the misfortune to read this blog…

Yeah please provide me with “the meaning of comedy”. As far as I can tell it means sneering at, and mocking, groups of people that one feels superior to, but whom it is also politically correct to laugh at. At least that’s what it seems to be according to this blog. In other words – the lowest, and nastiest, form of “humour” possible.

BTW – let me give you a definition of “nasty piece of work who enjoys looking down her nose at other people, probably due to her own deep-seated inadequacies” – YOU!!!

9 03 2010
Shirley M

My apologies Andrew. I didn’t pick up on the fact that your question was rhetoric. My mistake. Just like how you didn’t get the humour in the repetition of this blog entry. I guess none of us are perfect.

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. “As far as I can tell it means sneering at, and mocking, groups of people that one feels superior to, but whom it is also politically correct to laugh at.” Yes, if by that “group of people” you mean “the people who post here” (me excepted).

9 03 2010
reparty

Snob comes from the colleges of Oxford and Cambridge listing s.nob (sine nobilitate, or without nobility) on their exam lists next to “normal” students from those with an aristocratic background. Taken from ‘Status Anxiety’, and written while watching the evil bank manager on Today Tonight.

9 03 2010
Andrew

PPS – I don’t mean to be nasty, but I have to ask:

Fiona of Toorak – do you actually have a life? Is posting on this blog your one and only interest? Aren’t there some nice cafes in Toorak you could visit, just to get out of the house and away from the computer screen? How about the art gallery? Or a day at the movies, maybe?

Seriously, Fiona of Toorak, you’re all over this blog like an Ed Hardy shirt on a “Bogan”. If you don’t mind my saying, you need to broaden your horizons. There’s more to life than sneering at people you think (and I emphaise the word “think, here) that you are superior to….

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Of course. Aside from here, I lead a rich (in all senses of the word) and fulfilling life.

9 03 2010
Andrew

Sorry Fi Fi, this one was meant for you !!

How many cats do you own??

PS – “Aside from here, I lead a rich and fulfilling life” is a very telling comment…rather sad…

9 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Two. Persians of course.

PS – it’s not sad to me, and my opinion is the only one that counts.

9 03 2010
Andrew

HA I knew it! I suspected 4 or 5 tho…are you sure you’re being completely honest though…c’mon admit it, it has to be at least 3….

PS – you really need to get a life outside of this website, you’re always here!!!! Is it really that funny? Go play with the damn cats! Make some You Tube videos with them or something….

9 03 2010
Peter

Andrew – which one do you take more seriously: yourself or the intended humour of TBL and its witty posters?

9 03 2010
Andrew

Myself

There are no “witty posters” here – just a bunch of nasty, insecure little snobs. And “Fiona of Toorak”, who’s a fucking freak!!

PS – I like your use of the phrase “intended humour of TBL” – yeah that pretty much sums it up (I refer to “intended”, just in case you’re too thick too perceive sarcasm, which is quite likely I would say)

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I can’t believe you all keep biting?

9 03 2010
Andrew

because you’re all fucking morons, that’s why. hey i thought “bogans” were supposed to be dumb….

9 03 2010
Pseudonym

Bogans love repetition and predictability. Well done, broaden the range of your target audience.

9 03 2010
Chris

its perfect that aca would be room 101

9 03 2010
Andrew

How many cats do you own??

PS – “Aside from here, I lead a rich and fulfilling life” is a very telling comment…rather sad…

9 03 2010
Tombarina

Andrew, what’s with this obsession with other people’s cats, and the number thereof?
Do you have pussy-envy? (Oh dear, that came out wrong – think I’ll have a nice, warm Milo…)

9 03 2010
Chris

Remember your typing Tombarina not speaking you have time to correct mistakes. 🙂

9 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Your (sic) correct, Chris.

9 03 2010
common man

the big question is who sponsors wordpress an all the “things people like” eg;bogans/black/white people etc,etc surely no media group with censorship values or elitists hackers/trolls would bother and why???????hate os stastisc gathering maybe??????

9 03 2010
common man

LOL.yes zhang ruifang…=that includes you too…LOL.

10 03 2010
James

I’m pretty sure this Fiona woman is the biggest bogan on here. She’s is so insecure.

Also why do you always put LOL infront of your sentences?

10 03 2010
Shirley M

Ha! Good question James. That annoys the shit out of me.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL.

10 03 2010
Faux-gan

OMG, FFS, FOFL

10 03 2010
Kat

Fiona remarked that I was a bogan because I used LOL once. I didn’t care. And that is why Post #96 made me squirm just a little.

And LOL a lot at the final depiction of the braying bogan.

10 03 2010
john of (upper) campbell

Did anyone else notice the inconsistency in the two current affairs posts? The bit about all occupants of the McMansion being lured into the grand sitting room?

I swear to god that the mcmansions article stated that the grand sitting room or formal living area was almost never used, and most certainly did not contain a television set. You guys are like so totally wrong sometimes.

Close, but no cigar. The floorplan included as the image for the McMansions entry shows that the McMansion being referred to has a formal living area in addition to the Grand Sitting Area. The formal living area is unlikely to contain a plasma TV, but the Grand Sitting Area, family room, and rumpus room all probably will… and the theatre room will probably have some form of projector. TBL

10 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh dear…
Someone suggested to TBL that the grand sitting room would sound better…
And TBL agreed….

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I accept responsibility. And stand by my suggested (and accepted) amendment.

11 03 2010
JimC

Speaking of this polyp on the anus of television, would I betraying some secret bogan tendencies if I admitted that not long ago I went on Google to try and find the Bindi Paxton Playboy photos?

And worst still, I was genuinely disappointed that I couldn’t find them.

11 03 2010
Taneal

Number one bogan thing – misspelling your instead of you’re. It fucking does my head in. Get it right you fucking bogans. I don’t want to go into the whole it’s its bizzo. Do they not teach grammar in public schools? have you ever seen then comments on the heraldsun website?

12 03 2010
MTC

You forgot a few of the show formulas
1. Expose of a dangerous technology or home appliance (like microwaves)
2. New technology/Magic bras (and other infomercials pathetically disguised as stories.
3. The nightly feel good story at the end.

12 03 2010
MTC

Also you forgot to note that the more tech savy bogans will have a PVR so that they can watch ACA while recording TT to watch later.

29 08 2013
franz chong

Biggest Piece of Crap ever.Nine should have binned the whole show the Minute Ray Martin,Jana Wendt and Mike Munro left back in the day and put on a cheap sitcom which wouldn’t cost them much if anything as a 6:30pm offering.The Current ACA presenter makes me cringe badly.

16 04 2010
Awesomerickee

BARKING DOG MAN~!!!!!

2 06 2010
Air Supply

Shouldn’t “Home and Away” be changed to “Two and a Half Men”?

29 08 2013
franz chong

No.Home and Away ever since those River Boys arrived has got Bogan.Our Home doesn’t even watch anymore as a result.It’s 11’s Everybody loves Raymond that is our 7pm show now.

28 02 2012
franz chong

Garbage in a CAN.These Days If I happen to be home at the same time as these rubbish shows go to Air.I will switch rather happily once the weather has been done over to one of the Multi Channel Alternatives.I found myself watching some How I met your Mother on 7 mate and had a good laugh.Try it sometime If you have a Digital TV.

13 12 2012
franz chong

Sometimes there’s an important story that we all need to watch or be aware of so It’s not necessarily Low Life to watch this show and you can learn from it otherwise most of the other times Give It a Wide Berth.

5 02 2013
franz chong

It wasn’t like this back in the Jana,Ray and the Mike Munro Era.What happened to ACA since all of them moved on.Even Kate Collins in the case of the Adelaide Version wasn’t bad.It’s the switch from 2010 back to the National Version that has made it awful.

5 02 2013
Alyssa KT

What a romanticised notion!
Ever heard of Frontline? If those shows weren’t already a joke back then, they wouldn’t have been so easy to make fun of – nor so eerily true!

15 03 2013
franz chong

Nine should put an older sitcom at that hour to provide a lead in to the Block and Big Brother that everybody can watch happily.80’s/90’s versions of Cosby,All Together Now,My Two Dads,My Two Wives,Whose the Boss and Cheers to name but a few would be a huge improvement at 6:30pm.Until Nine decides to stop catering to Bogan Tastes.I will be sticking to Whatever ABC 3 has at the same hour or one of the other channels older American Sitcoms/Reality TV Show or Neighbours on 11

18 02 2014
straightguy

By offering Nadya Suleman $1 million to star in
a porno move, Steven Hirsch gets Vivid Video in the headlines
and, he hopes, money into his pockets through increased sales of his product.
They feel celebrities, fueled with a sense of entitlement that can come with super stardom and its riches, just do what they
want. Talk to an agent or hire one before going on an audition for a
porn film.

25 04 2014
franz chong

To add further insult They have moved it to 7pm from this year.If they think it will solve their problems at that hour they must be kidding themselves.

20 05 2014
franz chong

Please dump this show NINE AND PUT SOME MOM OR 2 BROKE GIRLS on at 7pm to follow the News.Anna Faris makes us laugh which is more than can be said of the junk that passes for ACA in this day and age.

6 08 2014
franz chong

There’s Always Raymond or Friends for the NON BOGANS who can’t stand ACA OR Home and Away.I for one would rather be a Barone than a Braxton!!!

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