The bogan clings to its habits like a mollusc to a shipwreck’s hull. It will only holiday in places with familiar franchised retailers, it will only drink green beer on St Patrick’s Day, and it will trust only Richard Wilkins via satellite from Los Angeles. But sometimes the bogan grows tired of this predictability. It wonders if the highs and lows of life outside of its cocoon are worth experiencing. It craves xtreme emotion. At this point, the bogan will sometimes purchase a non-Jetstar international airfare, watch SBS News, or try something in wholemeal. Alarmed and confused by the ordeal, it concludes that it can have its desire for new horizons ably met in radio form by a myopic shock jock. Kyle Sandilands not only discovered the fickleness of bogan rage when he ran the rape lie detector skit on Sydney radio, but also the graciousness of bogan forgiveness.
The bipolar bogan was quick to pardon Sandilands, as its dwindling outrage was usurped by its growing need to be outraged again. Channel 7 soon restored Kyle to his rightful position of luring bogans onto talkback radio. The Melbournian bogan, for years denied the true Sydney-style talkback radio experience, now has Talk Radio 1377. On AM, no less – the original bastion of bogan-baiting hate-mongers – this network features the crème de la crème of bogan baiting hate-mongers. Here, among the company of Sammy Newman, Andrew Bolt and alcoholic ex-A Current Affair hatewright Chris Smith, the bogan can find rare refuge from the Political Correctness Gone Mad which is rampant throughout the latte-sipping media. The middle-aged and elderly bogans have been feeling as though they’ve been missing out, with the younger bogans enjoying their Ed Hardy clothes, Australian Idol and anal sex. There has for years been a simmering rage, laying dormant, and waiting to be activated by some old-fashioned mad hating skills.
Talk radio has the requisite skills to appeals directly to the bogan’s hate gland. Where A Current Affair can only hint that Asians are invading the country, Andrew Bolt can say that multiculturalism “rewards most those who integrate least”. Perhaps in good time, he will be able to fan the flames of a race riot, much as Alan Jones in Cronulla. To the bogan, calling into talkback radio for a pause-poor skewed rant is the beginning, middle, and end of “doing something”. From there, it is perfectly positioned to blame everything on the government.
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oh. thankyou.
thank you so, so, much.
Hey Moar, do you listen to Bob Francis?
He has madskillzzz
I have only seen him on telly.
what a goose. I dont think anyone takes him seriously. just a joke.
a graet example but. none of them ever have any actual skillzz beyond being a talking head. Witness J. Laws. once australias most influential man, I don’t think he did his Matriculation.
What a sad, sad descent from the giddy heights of being a pop DJ during the 1960s, touring with The Beatles’ Down Under entourage in 1964 and spinning the latest tunes to a receptive and youthful audiences in the midst of what would’ve been quite a heady time for those who’d just begun to glimpse the promises of an emergent new age of liberal thought (relatively stifled in Australia in the 1960s—some commentators have mused that this country had an extended 1950s, being flung headlong directly into the very liberating 1970s—but for those who were there embracing these new ideas and living out the opportunities presented, it was a great time to be alive, the threat of Vietnam War conscription notwithstanding).
Instead of being inspired to go further forward from being amongst the movers ‘n’ shakers in a time of immense social change, he has seemingly recessed into the mentality of decades less enlightened prior.
Pity he’s become just another sad, embittered old curmudgeon, not so much lost in a attempting to relive a happy hippy trip of yore, but going to a past that was not so much before him, but a “black-and white, straight-up-and-down” past that not even really was.
It is no coincidence that ALL Australian shock jocks are right-wingers.
Right wingis and boganism go together like flies and muck.
What about Kyle Sandilands?
one of the worse out there.I have had the misfortune of listening to him while driving on thursday nights when doing a family outing or cross town driving for the library trips or shopping trips but I would sooner listen to his crap over anything say ABC FM has at the same time of the week.
Actually BOT, he was always an arch conservative and during the days of the Vietnam war, was known for taunting anti war protesters both off and on air.
Bob Francis used to broadcast live. Oh the fun we had with that! Was simple enough to get on air just agree with whatever BS he was pushing or else just complain about young people today. Once on air it usually took them a few seconds to cut you off. Oh the frivolity!
Yep, we did that too. In the group that I hung with it was almost a rite of passage to see how far you could goad big Bob before he booted you off air.
Some nights I walk outside to examine the eternal and endless stars and try to imagine a future where we have spread sentience to a lifeless universe and found a benevolent regard for our commonality as humans and a profound respect for the miracle that is our tiny planet.
I know it will never be.
Sadly it is men like these who stand in the way. Bolt and Jones most especially. Despicable anti-humans. Haters and knowing disseminators of lies and misinformation.
Sandilands and Bolt walk repectfully in the shadow of Jones. Jones is Satan himself. Devoid of conscience, his heart replaced by a black cold stone that morning in 1989 in a London Magistrate’s Court when he knew all his dreams had just died, he has set out to smash the peaceful libertarian dreams of all humanity. To spread the hate which ruined him.
Bolt and Sandilands are just hacks looking for a hook to hang a paycheck on by comparison, but they hold sway over their own legions of dullards of subsequent generations.
we are doomed while these idiots are permitted to flourish.
I agree with what you say generally but
Bolts a little clueier than those others and I’m not just saying that cos we’re both from Adelaide. He plays his bloggers ( Bolts dolts I call them ) like a three buck fiddle. He has that Howard like quality of appealing to everything morally and intellectually lazy, gutless, retrogressive and venal in the Australian psyche, while at the same time appearing to hover it above it all.
It’s. So. True.
They still have radio?
I must admit I haven’t listened to radio in 2 years+.
From what I can remember it’s all about fear mongering (anyone who isn’t straight, white or religious surely gets a going over!) or outrage about this weeks issue.
When the populace has the attention span of a gold fish (that’s being disrespectful to gold fishes) is it any wonder I’ve moved on?
the true luminaries make it on to the colour and movement too.
Bolt had his own show. he might still.
Jones had a spot on one of the morning shows.
He did as of two weeks ago. I had some work to do, and put the television on in the background, because it was the type of task which occupied the hands but not the mind. I regarded it with a wary curiosity for a short while and then changed the station to the ABC, settling in.
i thought you meant porn when you mentioned a task that occupies the hands and not the mind
Uni holidays working in shearing sheds full of 50 year olds that only wanted to listen to 3YB and John Laws cured me of Talk Radio. At the time I would’ve loved to have stuck his Golden Microphone where the sun didn’t shine.
Speaking of 882 3YB “across the great South-West” A big bogan shout out to my boys in the ‘Bool… global warming and rising sea levels wouldn’t be an entirely bad thing in that case!
*GASP!*
How can you say that BB? Everyone over 60 KNOWS that the sun only shines when John Laws condescends to bend over! 😛
It gets worse, when the Golden Tonsils needed a rest they piped in some other Sydney talk radio jock that talked exclusively about rugby league and Pauline Hanson. And the dullards still listened to it… Mind you, due to the comprehensive buy out of all western Victorian radio stations by the ACE radio network and lack of FM coverage, there was no alternative except for Triple J (and that was before ‘The Js’ became a platform for C-list comics tap dancing for a commericial radio contract )
Balls, like the comic crack.
“and that was before ‘The Js’ became a platform for C-list comics tap dancing for a commericial radio contract ”
Let me guess, pre 2003-04 perhaps?
Allow me to indulge in a little ad hominem re the Golden Microphone: if Lawsey doesn’t want his Golden Microphone rammed fair up his Jackson Pollock, then Teh Parrot will gladly receive said microphone, complete with 48 volt phantom power…I’ll gladly furnish the K-Y too: what’s eructed from that end would more likely more sense than if it were sprouted from where eructations normally emanate.
Oh, yeah BB: 3YB? More like 3YOB, from your accounts; that same frequency in Perth is the very home of our own nest of hatefulness, 6PR.
With several of its hosts—particularly Howard “Prattler” Sattler (which lends to the station nicknamed “6PRatller”) and former
WorstWest editor Paul “Mooner” Murray—known for their less-than-savoury, dogwhistling, reactionary styles, we have our very own Radio 6YOB, which older folk with downward envy hang on to each and every word these craven and shrill shucksters spurt (or spruut) forth, frothing at the cheeks.While still on 6PR, many taxis around Perth have the stickers for this station plastered on their rear windows, which seems to be a badge of the owners, as most of the drivers (as employees) are recent migrants, of which are often scapegoated by those aforementioned bellend shockjocks; no wonder amongst us (self-confessed) libtards believe the initials stand for “6 Perth Raçists”.
I like Alen Jonz coz he tell me wot to fink an he looks afta th battla an hates p0eeples from ova contriez an that.
Congratulations! With spelling and syntax like that, you would fit right in over at TBL’s Facebook page! 😉
My mother and I used to have endless arguments about talkback radio. I would always lose.
is it true victoria has a leftie shock jock?
Neil Mitchell?
there needs to be much more public baiting of Conservitards
Neil Mitchell doesn’t have an overarching philosophy. He is a lightweight who is focused on trivial stuff like speed cameras and what’s on TV. He has had segments with the Premier of the day- both parties. He tends to go light on politicians. Unlike Sydney radio the guy is quite boring. I think he has a slight bias to Liberals but nothing overt.
I’m going with changing my name for every new topic.
Ash – Making Planes Crash Since 1993
Shock Jocks are like Cyborg Men, they have zero empathy for their targets.
Simon,
They are all aliens
Libtards reserve their shock jocking for Q&A. Where they can routinely express their favourite outrages about racism, refugees and climate change.
This only happens once a week during the ratings period. The bogan has more stamina for outrage as it can indulge in it 5 days a week, all throughout the day on radio, in the mornings or lunch time over the telegraph, then for another half hour on TT or ACA.
True this, Martin. Insight as well. Twice a week.
Libtards can’t amass the kind of outrage over a time period the way bogans can.
I have listened the fair and balanced editorialising that is Andrew Bolt and Steve Price on MTR. The constant themes – Labor is shit, Greens are crazy, carbon tax bad, refugees are scum – these are really great – they allow me to listen to what the common bogan student thinks (I am a teacher), and formulate effective counterarguements that even the bogans ‘just cos it’s shit’ arguement cannot breach.
Not that I expect I could ever change a mini bogans mind – something about trying to discuss rationality with an irrational person – but it is an attempt to try to reduce the collateral damage that bogan groupthink can cause.
The radio shock jock is a one-stop shop for bogans.
He gets told what to think as well as what to buy,
where to go, which car to drive there & what to
shovel into its guts once it has arrived.
You know what I mean.
If you’re onto a good thing, stick to it.
Until a better offer comes along, then you shill for that with total amnesia for your previous sponsor…
So true!! It’s as if TBL have gone inside my head (NOT for the faint hearted!), & plucked out my latest pet peeve…..
Bless you TBL!
I was wondering what TISM were up to.. were they even still alive? Now i know.
lying dormant
there was a saying going around a while back, ‘if you’re not paying for it, your the product being sold’. Shit saying, but it makes a point. Listening to maxtreme shock jocks is only an introduction to maxtreme marketing. I turned off commercial radio for good when triple m started inserting ads into what it considered to be a news bulletin. You know, that three minute grab of stuff Eddie McGuire thinks. Dont get me started on the traffic reports that are 30 second ads for whatever crap they’re trying to flog that week and that the westgate is backed up to Point Cook. There’s a surprise.
Melbournes best morning presenter is easily Emma Ayres on Classic FM… although Classic FM is shit if you’re after an update on Joel Selwood’s three week suspension.
I used to listen to triple j a bit but the afternoon of the Doctor, Hack and rosie are all just dreadful.
fortunately I have an ipod and excellent taste in music…
(excuse me… “you’re”, not “your”)
You must have the same music as me on your iPod Beef, I gave sensational taste.
RRR subscriber!
You can hate boat people and buy valvoline all in one hit. Awesome!
Love the article but unfortunately not even bogans care about MTR if the ratings are anything to go by. The average amount of people listening to MTR at any one time is around 6000 – 8000 people. Their main rival 3AW averages around 50,000 listeners at any one time.
We probably weren’t clear enough about this…we meant it was a Victorian initiative to milk the bogan teat as effectively as 2GB et al managed north o’ the border. TBL
Thanks for the Zara link, note below the “VIP’S” in attendence. These ones don’t even make the D list!
“Last-minute preparations delayed last night’s media launch from 5pm until 5.30pm. Among the 700 VIPs strolling through the three floors were Ann Peacock, Judy Romano, Amber Petty, Livinia Nixon, Paris Wells, Brodie Harper and Heath Meldrum.”
And no Shock Jocks attended. Shame they could have done some serious bogan baiting at this one.
i know livinia nixon, who are the rest?
I have the same question.
Be careful, don’t ask the question unless you want to hear the answer.
I googled them and google told me to f*ck off. Guess that answers the question. Could one perhaps be Molly’s brother?
sounds like google were wise.
I can handle it.
Panda,
Do not wish for something or you may get it ?
and don’t forget If you tell the truth you are bound sooner or later to be found out.
Oh, James Hunter, the wise sage of Lower Dogpatch.
Off topic I know, but I can’t be bothered looking up the discussion on planking. It seems the craze is dying out….
A friend sent me this earlier.
We can only hope the terminally stupid will find another way of removing themselves from the gene-pool without too much delay.
It was always just a fad.
On another note, I’m busy writing articles and realised that I have a couple of pearls that my TBL bretheren and sisters would love. One in particular on asking celebrities for their advice on doing up campus (I get high with Snoop Dogg and mobile-d by Our Russ).
We look forward to reading them Ash.
Hi there, it seems that you’ve been causing a bit of mischief lately.
The ABC keeps talking about how Ash is responsible for stranding thousands of airline passengers all across the southern hemisphere.
I hope you’re going to share them Ash?
I’m just googling them to listen….
Still trying to find mobile-d…..
WHO is our russ Ash?
Big Russ Crowe V’Viv2.
‘S KK, I thought so, but I was typing 20 Odd Foot Of Grunts, not 30.
I’m not firing on all cylinders today….
got it now 😛
Did your computer try to glass you?
Viv,
We all know what an SKK is !
We do James?
Oh, ok….. 😛
skk has the fixed mag, from memory.
the sks had the detachable one
Whereas I just have a detachable memory….. 😛
Oh, James Hunter, as always your dreamlike vision transcends the mere mortals. Come to think of it, isn’t that how L. Ron Hubbard started? I see you now as a superhuman figure. A new Messiah with a new standard of understanding.
And spaceships that look a lot like DC-8s?
and its the ordinary fear of god now, no longer 30 odd foot of grunt. somehow he managed to come up with an even dumber name second time around.
Thanks P’bee, I must admit I’m quite happy to take your word for it.
For some reason I can’t abide the man, though he IS a good actor.
😛
No Simon, but it IS in shock! It’s used to bands like Detroit Voodoo * Mushroomhead*
I’m sure it thought it was being hacked….
I googled Lady GaGa once when original Viv was trying to convince us she had talent. My computer just got up and walked out the room shaking it’s head with smoke coming out. It was days until I could coax it back online. I had to promise it some Tom Waits.
That worked? Or did it stun the computer long enough for you to sneak in….. 😛
Here V’viv2 try this as an antidote to Russ. Trust me.
has to be in the top 5 creepiest songs ever.
Why thank you Simon!
I’ll return the favour, here’s an antidote for Tom Waits
Cheers V’Viv2, I’m not a real metal head but Max is cool. Tom Waits singing metal, now that I could really go for. He has the gravel voice!
He does, doesn’t he? That would indeed be worth hearing!
I’m buggered if I remember HOW I used to be able to post those video clips on here, but it doesn’t work for me now… 😦
It’s random. Some days the embed works. Today I just copy and pasted the web address and it worked. Stuffed if I know…..
I take it you mean creepy in good way P’bee as opposed to the creepiness of that Rebecca Black you inflicted on us a while ago?.
yes, good creepy not bad creepy. and i apologise for rebecca black, that was truly terrifying (although the ‘bob dylan’ version is hilarious).
u have a little extra [youtube tacked on the front.
maybe the link needs to be in its own line… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSCQvsVardw
which that link isn’t.
and this link is:
yup.
paste link in new line on its own to embed yutoob.
Good musical taste is universal it seems….
AARRGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Trying your method Moar
kick ass track
Jesus built my Hotrod!
It flys …..on a wing and a prayer ?
Definitely one of their best tracks, along with Super Manic Soul & Lava
the worse of the lot was jeremy cordeaux or whatever his name is.how my late father could listen to that crap to start the day on is beyond me.i avoided it where possible after i started driving on my own and the only time i listened to that crap was when the bali bombings took place in 2002.
technology/shock-jock-impressed-by-laser-speed-breakthrough/story-e6frfro0-1226062824273
Love it 🙂
I spent several uears in a town that listened to Lawsie religiously. A wonderful, ethnically diverse place that was racist down to the soles of its KT26s.
I couldn’t work out why there was so much hatred until I turned on 4KZ. Lawsie was a pig, no doubt. And people loved the pig. Yet I don’t think he believed in all of what he said. Sometimes he would let something slip and I would wonder if there was a person inside him. He undoubtedly knew his audience wanted to hear the most basic argument, not caring if it made sense or not. I always felt he was playing a role.
Not that Jones fella. He’s filth. He honestly believes that he’s the most intelligent man in Oz and everyone should heed his cries. There’s evil inside him. He’s an undead.
Read Chris Masters’ Jonestown and I guarantee you’ll feel sorry for the bastard… Unless you switch on the radio afterward and happen to catch him talking… Then you’ll forget why you felt sorry for him half a minute before… Then you’ll read the book again to find out. A vicious, viscous cycle, t’be sure.
Perhaps some leftard Melburnian journo of note can do a similar painfully investigated, phonebook-thick exposé of the deep, dark secrets and far-out fetishes of our own Mr Bolt…
Robert Manne, looking in your direction mate. Get on it. And don’t spare the filth. Wait, you’re busy going through Julian Assange’s garbage? Damn. Who else we got? Martin Flanagan, I understand you’re primarily an earthy, grassrootsy sportswriter, but you’re all we have Left. Break out that earthy, grassrootsy pen of yours, bearded one, and make us laugh and cry. Wait, you’re busy sipping a tinnie and chatting to the locals at the big Tooleybuc-Manangatang versus Koondrook-Barham game? Damn. Your beard’s getting all frothy.
Masters and Johnson is better !
Oh, James Hunter, pipe down with the archaic sex manual references.
I don’t feel sorry for him at all… as “Chopper” (the real one) once said, I never got arrested in a public toilet in London!
We all know that story, Will. That isn’t why he’s a knob. He can be as gay as he likes. Doesn’t excuse him from being a tool.
Did not many here realise he was gay before Jonestown was released? I grew up in Toowoomba and older family members went to Grammer. It was never hidden…okay, maybe it was but I knew insiders. It was only when Jones became a public figure that it was ignored. He never denied it, but speculation wasn’t encouraged.
Did I just agree with Will?
I’ll start again. He’s not a knob because he’s gay. He’s a knob because he’s an unfeeling, hypocritical arsehole. Stand up for minorities? Bugger off.
He’s an undead.
From memory didn’t Masters accuse Jones of having a strange, angry, fetishistic way of punishing the young boys at his first primary-school teaching gig in Queensland?
The man’s complex. An enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a sweaty white shirt with a tight collar below the bulging, pulsating, clammy head of a borderline child molester.
Can’t hate him too much because don’t hear him much down here. Worst we have is Steve Price, who’s been handballed from Melbourne to Sydney back to Melbourne. Now he’s part of a four-pronged audio attack that includes such luminaries as Bolt, Sam Newman and Jason Akermanis at Melbourne radio station MTR. Its ratings are delightfully laughable. Diverse guests have included T Abbott, Tony A, and Anthony John Abbott.
I am a little afflicted with seasonal affective disorder, and have been surprised to find myself feeling nostalgic for Brit-Pop (considering that I was first exposed to Brit-Pop in between of the 1980’s nostalgia tracks, at The Loft nightclub in Perth.
This lifted my spirits, as I hope it will yours.
well if we’re posting performances on jools holland…
let’s try again
i hate you stupid non embedding youtube.
I rest my case…..
Bloody embedding is sexist! 😛
I love the metaphors that you do at the start.
How do you explain julia gillard then? And if that were true there would no electon due to the over whelming majority of bogans voting right wing.
Say what you will about The Hon A J Abbott he might be a tiresome
fool and a knob but at least he NEVER LIES as did J Gillard