Despite having little to no interest in soccer (which they will never call football), the bogan has a serious interest in winning. Winning anything, really, so long as it doesn’t involve the bogan itself competing for the thing that it wants to win. Rather, the bogan will hunt around and attach itself to other groups or individuals it believes likely to win and/or considers representative of it, then loudly proclaim its support for this thing. Tennis players, who travel the world playing only for themselves and their personal success, become ‘ours’ every January until Hewitt or Stosur are knocked out in the fourth round.
Indeed, while most bogans actively state the merits of their preferred football code over soccer, the hazy memories of the recent World Cup remain freshly hazy. There was lots of beer, and there were countless opportunities to screech “oi, oi, oi”. Not that the bogan is racist, but it was also heard gleefully detailing what it perceived to be flaws with things that weren’t Australian. So while Australia’s soccer history has lurched from local ethnic rivalries, to the defunct NSL, to the somewhat shaky A-League, the bogan had seen all the evidence it needed in order to convince itself that ‘we’ ‘deserve’ the World Cup.
When the bogan caught wind of the fact that ‘we’ were a decent chance to snare hosting rights to the 2022 World Cup, it was a bandwagon few bogans could resist jumping on. Competing against other countries in a contest to prove how genuinely awesome Australia is in a process that involved putting together videos with animated kangaroos, Elle McPherson, a drawling PM and a Paul Hogan who is simultaneously being pursued by the ATO under fraud allegations was simply too good an opportunity to pass up. After all, living in Australia is the bogan’s crowning achievement.
The bogan, however, conveniently overlooked the fact that the FIFA bid process is, was and likely always will be, irretrievably corrupt. Until ‘we’ lost. This morning, instead of discussions about the bulk piss that will be sunk while watching Ghana play Uruguay in Western Sydney, bogans nationwide are lamenting the corruption of a process that did not result in it winning. For Australia to have lost, in the bogan’s eyes, can only be the result of a system that is so rotten to the core that a bunch of towelhead Qatar Heroes could rob ‘us’ of the event ‘we’ so clearly deserved. Had Australia won, of course, the bogan would defend the bid process to all those who would question it, as any system that results in an Australian (read: bogan) victory is, by definition, proper.
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I want the government to give me $45m to support my bid for some event in the far future we have no chance of winning. There must be plenty of it just laying around, ready to fun the next fool’s venture.
can i join your executive committee? i’ll only ask for a small 10& fee.
10%? Are you nuts? 8% or get out and don’t let the door hit you on the way out!
8%, and i’ll offer my skills to design the uniforms as long as i get a cut of the merchandise profits.
As long as they have boxing kangaroos and Southern Crosses on them!
I would hope for come corks dangling from the hat rims too.
they’ll be bedazzled in an ed hardy-type way.
of course – would you expect anything less?
Thank Christ we lost. 12 years of listening to world cup crap, soccer this soccer that would send me postal. The reason there are so many riots at the game is that it f*cking sucks.
I agree it does suck. I was sort of into it before the last World Cup, I think it was because there was one exciting game, the Australia vs Japan game at the 2006 world cup. Every single game I’ve watched (for about 5 minutes) since then has been boring as bat shit.
Just how boring is bat shit Martin ?
The A league is horrendous. I’m so sick of seeing stories about Alex Brosque and Sasho Petrovski or whoever who are apparently superstars in the A-League but have never made even a slight impact overseas in their decade long careers.
Loved the Qatar Heroes line.
Any guesses as to the subject of #200?
oprah
I’m still hoping for Harley Davidsons.
Simon, this is something I wish for too.
I also have a theory about the extinction of the NaB in line with the Mayan calendar.#200 shall be the time to share.
Angela Bishop – someone must like her she wont go away.
And her swamp hag mother. And the broomsticks they rode in on.
Angela Bishop — concrete evidence that success in the television industry is not always dependent on physical attractiveness.
Hoping it’s those blasted “my family” stickers.
My Family stickers, or the irridescently-fanged Shane Warne.
Both are worthy contenders for things bogans of BOTH genders like. Oprah’s more up the alley of the middle-aged boguelet-producers.
Wikileaks. And how it is unpatriotic and a terrorist group.
Well SD, It’s true, an Australian, in Europe, publishing documents about the US is clearly committing an act of treason against the US govt….. or is he the next albino Ned Kelly…. I see some big bogue moral dilemma’s and indepth analysis in the near future.
Albino Ned Kelly – awesome!
It all depends on what the radio shock jocks say-sock it to the man or this is killing our soldiers in Afghanistan.
Then again wikileaks reportage thus far is No Idea for the nerds.
what’s hilarious is how much of it is so childish – barely a step above calling someone a poopoohead.
World Leaders: Even more stupid than you thought.
To borrow from Hannah Arendt, all we are seeing is the banality of power.
http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/politics/julian-assange-is-the-ned-kelly-of-the-digital-age-20101207-18ob0.html
Somebody is stealing my mind ideas *puts on aluminium foil hat and glances furtively around the room*
Except you were being flippant and The Age are apparently being serious.
You wuz ROBBED!
Can’t see bogans making him a Ned Kelly. There are no guns for one, just pages and pages of written matter which no self respecting bogan will ever look at (unless it is made into a movie with Tom Cruise).
So thats why Ned wore that tin suit , to keep the sunlight of his tender skin ?
Here’s the thing, I don’t think that there is even a case of espionage to answer. No-one has suggested that anyone who is identifiable with Wiki-leaks went and stole the information. The presumption seems to be that someone in the State Department sent them outside the organization. That’s why they are leaks, I would imagine. Wiki-leaks has done no more than disseminate them, apparently. Sedition doesn’t fit the bill either. Neither does the equivalent of the Official Secrets Act, since this would require having been a party to an agreement regarding the proper use of classified documents. I don’t know what this could be called. Jurisdiction also seems unclear (except to the extent that junior partners in defense alliances are willing to co-operate with the United States of America).
Those “My Family” car stickers. Often positioned on the rear window of the 4WD in close proximity to the “F### OFF, WE’RE FULL” sticker.
So, uh…Qatar has never qualified for a world cup.
Clearly, they’re qualified to host a display of exemplary football.
(inb4 it’s not team qualification but how much money you’re willing to spend on it)
The best campaign they could mount is Elle, Hoges, Joolya and a reanimated Matilda the Kangaroo?¿! Have I time travelled back to the 1980’s? What an embarrassing, yet comedic, tragedy.
The only things missing were Jenny Kee and Ken Done
Pro Hart?
and Ossie Ostrich
Our Theme Music, introduced by Dirty Dave Grey.
Ahhhh, Molly’s Indecent Obsession- where are they now? Probably working at a Borders somewhere (about 8 years ago Mr Viv and I discovered the keyboard player from Kids in the Kitchen working at a borders – so it’s safe to assume that’s where all 80’s aussie rock stars end up)
‘Indecent Obsession’ – sounds like the bogan’s fantasy du jour: – anal sex, a desire germinated in its tiny little mind by classics such as ‘Ass Wide Open’ and ‘Sick Degrees of Penetration’. Speaking of anal, wasn’t the lead singer of this band a vege driller of the highest order?
?? Viv?
Vege driller is a new one to me. One of the few things I haven’t been called. Are you insinuating he slept with coma patients?
Or someone from Townsville
*sideways peace sign*
Add Prue Acton and obvious theme music from Men at Work.
This is the sort of person who likes soccer. His name is Zyzz (true) and he is from Australia.
Caution – do not view with coffee in mouth
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/12/mecha-hineyho/
there are no words.
He should have been in the bid promo video.
Why are so many mediterranean immigrants such hideous bogan scum? Sad. Sometimes life being short is a good thing.
The roids kill em quick Martin!
What a cute little romper suit. What is she, 3?
We put a crap bid together, but Qatar didn’t deserve it. A lowly rank, with tiny population, oppression of women and most importantly, no beer.
I feel for England, the home of football. They refuse to partake in bribery and (albeit foolishly) expose corruption in the game only for the post-Soviet Russian obligarchs to buy the Cup.
Actually Qatar was the first middle Eastern Emirate/State?Country ? too grant the female vote in the 70,s and is probaly the most progressive of the oil soaked states,however you’re correct on the corruption angle Mitch-base game ,base scruples.
It was 1999, not that there’s much voting going on in an absolute monarchy. Also, being one of the more progressive Middle Eastern countries isn’t saying much, you still can’t be gay there.
I love that Quatar (sic) is trending on twitter. Proof positive football fans can’t spell.
Goes to show how well known the place is. Having said that, Al-Qaeda are pretty well known, and they still get the u treatment.
Love it TBL. So many truths. I thought you might talk about U2. But this is better.
I’m glad we lost it. That spiv Lowy can go jump. Spend the money on trains you lame government(s).
Ahh, our taxpayer dollars!
I thought most bogans would be happy we didn’t win it.
Also, aren’t homosexuals banned from going? Bogans would love that.
Please, there would be no more need to ban homos from attending than there would be to tell Dolly Parton it’s easier to sleep on her back.
They wanted us to win, even if they didn’t know why. That’s why they’re bogans.
Only the Old school bogans
I’m most impressed at how quickly you guys got this out, great work tbl
I think TBL’s real skill is being ahead of the curve. No doubt they had this written up weeks ago in readiness. Heck, they may have even had an alternate version in the unlikely event that Kangaroo Jack and The Three Stooges proved more compelling to FIFA than a great big eff-off brown paper bag of currency.
Have to agree – there’s little in the sporting world more irritating than listening to a country that really has little to do with a sport go on about how it should have hosted its major events. It’s like Ireland being upset that they never get an afl grand final.
Or Sydney being upset the AFL grand final isn’t played there
Don’t tell the AFL that. They just started a new club here and spent millions on a guy who can’t play.
so is australia going to campaign to host the world curling championships here next?
At Smiggins Holes, where Roy & HG were wanting to get a campaign rolling for an Australian bid to host the Winter Olympics.
Off topic but this caught my eye. The ABC has announced its plans for next years shows.
“Unveiling the broadcaster’s line-up at a dinner in Sydney yesterday, ABC director of television Kim Dalton says 2011 will mark the ABC’s return to the “drama stakes”.
“We’ll be screening 32 hours of drama in 2011 … we’ll also have another 36 hours of drama in production,” he told the gathering.”
So if my maths are correct the ABC will be screening 5.2 minutes of drama every day. Will we be able to bear the excitement. What will screen for the other 1435 minutes per day? Soccer?
not sure, but nein has yet more underbelly: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/nine-promises-more-underbelly-and-laughs-20101202-18hw2.html
A fourth Underbelly series to screen in 2011 promises to lift the lid on the birth of organised crime in Australia.
Based in Sydney in the roaring 1920s, Underbelly Razor tells the story of the bloody battle between “vice queens” Tilly Devine and her rival Kate Leigh.
From this description I will suggest the show will be littered with Tuts and Butts.
Perhaps Jo Beth Taylor got her new ones so she can play the lead?
you could be right, there, simon. and because they’re setting it in the 20s they can pretend to tuts and butts are all burlesque and clarsy.
So they are making a local version Boardwalk Empire, with chicks and razors instead of Steve Buscemi. We’ll probably get Rhonda Burchmore instead Bound to have legs and tuts and teeth galore
Who is Australias current pre eminant tuts? I’m not sure Rhonda will work coz she tends to keep them covered and Underkelly calls for Tuts out for sure.
Sh*t, it’s going to be Sophie Monk isn’t it.
Ricky-Lee Coulter??
Dude, you’re sick.
maria venuti?
Dame Edna Everage.
considering the requisite nudity in underbelly that’s a scary thought.
Actually if you look at this picture of Kate Leigh:
http://www.razorhurst.com.au/tour_1.html
the obvious choice to play her would have been:
if he were still alive
F*ck a duck. Maybe one of the old tarts from Prisoner, isn’t Bob dead? Even in her younger years she would have looked like a rugby player.
This one is still alive!
Perhaps Shane Jacobson could pull it off. I mean he’s still riding the bogan popularity wave of that hilarious ‘Kenny’ movie. (even typing it makes me dry wretch)
What about Meshel Laurie. She like Kate Leigh has a face like a dropped pie.
Even the requisite nudity couldn’t keep me watching it last time.
Scumderbelly. Can’t wait.
definitely Dame “Megastar” Edna who has the most superior make up and wardrobe
Underbelly 4’s going to feature Paul Hogan as Paul Hogan decrying corrupt Australian Crime Commission executives.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/05/3084901.htm?section=entertainment
Underbelly 4 will feature Paul Hogan as Paul Hogan decrying corrupt Australian Crime Commission executives. And still find plenty of reasons to go to strip clubs.
Flicking through the morning news, I caught a few minutes of Kochie throwing a tantrum that would make a retarded monkey seem reasonable.
The animated kangaroo (the one from Dot & the Kangaroo was more life-like) & the old leather shoe (Hoges) really put the nail in the coffin.
Ha! I originally stumbled upon this site by googling “stupid bogan retarded monkey tantrum”, in reference to the bogan GF of a friend of mine. I thought there would be a litany of her exploits, instead I found TBL. Which seems to be a litany of just about everything about her.
After reading Simon and Martins early comments, It felt like bogans were commenting?
A thin line some of you walk.
Tournament football, Read: The World Cup etc, is usually cagey and defensive affairs, yet all you guys do is tar the whole game with the same brush…
Just because you watch a game or two every four years does not mean you will understand it, thus meaning you won’t enjoy it. It’s not action packed enough, or physical enough for the bogan in you.
Invest some interest in the game first, watch a Premier League campaign (and not the FA Cup, remember that is “Tournament Football”, then we can stop hearing how much you all hate the ‘boring’ game of ‘soccer’
Boring.
I don’t hate it completely. I enjoyed playing it when I was a kid. I enjoyed playing it when I had an XBox 360. Actually I enjoyed playing most sports as a kid. But as TBL says “so long as it doesn’t involve the bogan itself competing for the thing that it wants to win.”, that’s the sort of thing that annoys me.
No I’m not convinced that it’s the beautful game and that there’s some sort of deep art to it. I think it’s just what the spankers say to justify watching some shit boring sport and to give it the snob factor along with having to call it ‘football’.
Face it, you’re a spanker, and so are people who love soccer to the point that it becomes a religion.
My parents made me play as a kid. I played for two years and to this day I still do not know what is gong on. I ambled along the sideline and only ran when the ball came near me – in the opposite direction. All I recall is having a ball thrown at my head repeatedly in the name of training. Training for what??? My bullsh!t radar was finely tuned at the age of 8.
sounds a bit like my brother – he’d be goalie so he could just sit in the grass.
I think this could be my most bogan trait.
I was an awful, horrible, competative bastard on the sporting field.
Me too Mick, I’d race a one legged centipede give a chance.
Me too, Mick – horribly competitive at swiming, track and field, tennis, netball, softball, basketball, et al. Problem was, I wasn’t much chop at any of them.
More annoying were my two sports-gifted brothers, one of whom had as much competitive instinct as a wombat and the other to whom athletic ability, coordination, timing and repeated selection in every representative team imaginable came so easily that he couldn’t be arsed continuing, due to lack of a challenge.
Bastards.
Premier League what a joke four clubs awash with dirty money dominate for 20 yrs while the rest fight it out to avoid relegation.No finals series either so the four clubs never get truly tested and sometimes the winner is known weeks before the end of the season.A shit concept brought to you by the same country that thrust the tedium of test cricket on us all.
The whole thing is all the funnier given how hard News Ltd and Ch7 have tried to stomp on football/soccer in Australia.
There was a popular bumper sticker that Perth Glory fans had on their cars back about seven or eight years ago, “Nobody Screws Soccer Like 7”, which paraphrased their advertising slogan for their nightly news (“Nobody Knows News like 7”).
It was in response to when they bought the rights to the old National Soccer League then deliberately buried it to suck up to the AFL (they even admitted as much).
All those photos of bogans face palming and wincing in pain. It amazes me how entitled to it they thought they were.
I wonder what our average iq is in Australia. It can’t be more than 80.
That’s very optimistic for you Martin.
Methinks that’s a typo. Surely there’s a decimal point missing..?
No bribes, no cup. We never had a hope. Lucky we are all here to boost up the nation’s average IQ.
by definition it must be 100 but if you want the most common score, well thats a whole different question
*Sigh* Off with their head!
The good news is that once the outrage dies down (I reckon there’s a maximum of 2 days before some other boganic outrage takes over) we shouldn’t have to hear about World Cup Bids for at least a few years: once a continent has hosted the World Cup that continent is ineligible to bid for the following two World Cups, and Australia and Qatar are somehow part of the same continent.
Of course, there’s a good chance someone will decide that we should start preparing our 2034 bid sooner rather than later…
No, the Bogan can’t even comprehend that many years ahead.
Not so fast, Dgusten! Australia can always move back to the Oceania Football Confederation, thereby not being on the same continent as Qatar any more! So we might still get it in 2026 or 2030, worse luck.
Oh, Qatar hosted the FIFA Youth World Cup back in 1995. I watched a few games on SBS when I should have been asleep before going to school the next day. There was an average crowd of something like seventeen people per game. (That’s even less than what the Brisbane Roar home games get, Tomba.) The playing style was so languid and uninspiring due to the oppressive weather.
I’m not upset that Australia didn’t get to host the World Cup; there are better things to spend our money on and I’m not a huge soccer fan. I’m just amazed at the stupidity of FIFA. I wonder how the local mullahs will handle the reaction of a herd of fifty thousand sunburnt Euro-bogues when they learn that they can’t even buy a beer after the match?
Couldn’t.
Care.
Less.
Yet here in Brisbane, where the local side (whose name I can’t recall because soccer bores me $h1tless) couldn’t pack out a walk-in wardrobe, there are suddenly sp@nkers galore walking around saying we wuz robbed.
And, in news just to hand….it’s apparently some sort of Muslim conspiracy. Just heard this here at work.
Bugger this – I’m going on hols. Byeeee.
have fun.
chastened.
I have been championing the “soccer is bogan cause” all these months and TBL just throw it back in my face.
*sigh*
elated.
as outlined by so many above we are spared the tedium of this insipid spectacle first hand.
I am spared having to endlessly point out Soccer is a primitive and simplistic game best suited to children and most popular in the least advanced societies on earth (such as South America and the UK) and how it’s so simple that even my dog and four year old neice can imitate it, despite both being completely incapable of anything remotely resembling a spiral pass or a decent long putt and how it’s so insipid and simple they can create a reality TV show to choose players, giving the alleged game all the credibility of Australian Idol and also having to listen to soccer fans spout knee jerk reactions to these arguments instead of considered responses, for example pointing out that the absolute facility of the game and consequent extraordinary skill of elite players is what makes it an entertaining spectacle despite the fact that these factors frequently render the possibility of a clear outcome virtually mpossible, which is why passionate fans are driven to riot..
david beckham.
So your sports of choice are American Football and Golf? Wow. Just wow.
That’s sarcasm right?
I’m never quite sure.
where on earth did you get the idea I like American Football?
On the continuum of world football codes, whilst Soccer lies at the “simple” end of the scale, American Football lies at the “ridiculously complicated” end. Rendering both Tedious. I find the middle ground is occupied by Rugby. Both Codes. File under sophisticated.
don’t bother with the usual attacks on rugby. I have learnt that soccer fans are bamboozled by the subtleties of Rugby and can’t get past the physicality in either their estimation or appreciation of the game. you needn’t reiterate.
I’m not saying soccer is crap. millions love it. it’s simple and unsophisticated, anyone can do it…. good stuff.
enjoy.
my tip for #200 – Quiz Shows.
or possibly Insurance, the Insuranceline “infomercial” type with the sincere “genuine aussie” actors which play on bogan fear and insecurity. “If Gavin overdoses on Meth how are you even going to keep up the payments on the Senator and the McMansion, let alone pay for a funeral?” what kind of moron gets sucked in to that?
leave your money in the bank fool.
You know those insurance product advertised via the infomercial medium are a total ripoff when they tell you “No medical or blood test necessary and we instantly insure anyone from age 18 – 80” ie. you need to subsidise the all the sick and old and fat people who apply. These products are fascinating though: unashamedly pitched at the bogan, but all about foregoing immediate consumption. As we all know, bogANUS australiANUS contains this trait in trace amounts only.
PS. Chubbybloodfart: I love the Antix song you posted here recently, to the point where I actually forewent some of my own money to buy it on iTunes. Keep ’em coming.
sweet.
this is nice.
don’t let that big doof beat put you off.
this thing swings like God’s Dick.
(ignore the clip)
Can you all please shut up? I’m trying to be high here.
While I’m high I’d like to announce that I love this equal parts bitter and hilarious community.
I especially love Viv and Simon (even though they hate The Beatles. And Simon cycles AND worships Neil Young! Love them anyway). I’ll cook you dinner one time and we’ll talk about sticking things in arses.
Stay tuned for more declarations of love as the evening unfolds.
Oh yeah.. and don’t suck too much cock while I’m gone.
oh shirley, did you hear pulp are reforming? currently they’ve only announced a couple of festival billings in europe, but still – pulp reforming.
I know. *swoon*
By the way, I love you too, mainly for your amazing style and fashion thing you’ve got going on, which I am jealous of.
thanks, shirley. you’re definitely tbl’s shining musical light.
Thanks Shirl, it’s nice to be loved considering how little I have going for me!
I get great pleasure from interacting with everyone here and the odd misguided bogan. Keep up the good work.
Shirley, you are a brick! Bless ya little Beatles filled heart xxxx
hey f#ck you Shirley!
my biscuit tin is empty.
and Mushrooms in W.A. Is a f#cking MYTH! :D
Come on over, punk. You are Edna are always welcome. I’ll sort you out. I’ll sort you out good.
Blame the lack of rain due to climate change, caused by knuckleheads scrooming about in pearlescent green Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) utes bought with moolah from the moines (or failing that, a high-interest car loan), doing 25 L/100 km. OK, it’s more than those neanderthals and their wheels
Trying to grow my own vegies and herbs while attempting to minimise tap water use has been hampered to some degree by the poor rainfall, meaning the mostly sandy Perth soils dry up much earlier, thus I have to use more water and earlier in the dry summer season.
If these extended dry spells continue for several more years in the South West, we’re screwed. But the bogan will still continue their profligate ways—with water, alongside any other resources they voraciously consume—and berate the Gummint for not piping water down from the Kimberleys, as if it were some magic pudding that could forever facilitate their sense of entitlement to be good little Aussie consumers. Which feeds festering sore of urban growth of not just Perth, but the whole South West coastal strip, with towns like Mandurah, Bunbury, Busselton (which is fast becoming almost a contiguous urban corridor connecting to the south of Perth) and Margaret River growing well ahead of the pace of the ability to provide reliable infrastructure.
Water shortages may yet become the Achilles heel of the WA South West’s prospects for growth. But we cannot rely on either desalination (which costs a bomb and wrecks marine environments) or the North West for a solution. The business types who push continuous economic growth will have to come to terms with this reality, not lest they want to completely upfück everything chasing that goal according to their mantra.
[Shakes head vigorously] Aww, merde: just went off on another tangental rant…all stemming from why certain fungi appear to be in scarce supply, itself not related to the celebrating the failure of Aussie Soccer.
Which I guess answers why Barnett Rubble and his rabble in the State Gummint would be less likely to pony up taxpayer’s money in funding a stadium, now we don’t have to worry about hosting a game for, as ascribed by bogans once again from next week on, men with possible questionable sexual proclivities…those selfsame men who’ll knock the roundballers will now continue to redouble their lobbying efforts to get a new stadium, justifiably sponsored by all Sandgropers (federal grants welcome, too!) for their far more manly ovoid ball pursuits. And then their proponents in aerial pingpong will still have the cheek to slug the wage slaves who continue to watch this
boughtsport extortionate admission to watch their games, all the while stumping up approximately 86 percent of sweet Fanny Adams to the construction of that edifice of extra-lowbrow culture. And what’s more, they’re the type who’ll heartily beat upon those already way down on society’s totem pole for being on welfare, but bleat balefully when they themselves (and their adjunct interests) are denied access to suckling on the government teat.Oh, sh¡t-a-brick. I’m going on a rant like some prat calling Howard
PrSattler on AM882 6PR (Perth’s shock-jock venue, sometimes known as 6PRacist), but in some strange parallel universe or during an opposite day. Better go to bed and rest my raging mind.Bloody bogans. What more can I say?
Ok, I’m back from the bogan west and have just read the punch article.
When did TBL go from ‘cult website’ to ‘wildly popular’? And will there be an addiction followed closely by the rehab that usually goes with sudden success.
Will bogans forgive TBL? It would tear them apart hating TBL for exposing them as cretins yet have to forgive them because of their fame.
I was hoping that if I was ever described as “wildly popular”, someone would do my dishes. Sadly, this has proven to be untrue. TBL
There was a top 5 film list somewhere that i cannot find so this will do here. Sorry.
1. Fargo
2. Das Boot
3. This Is Spinal Tap
4. A Greek murder/whodunnit I caught on SBS 15 years ago and have never learnt the name or seen it since. It was intense. I’d love to know what it was called.
5. Death In Brunswick. No one can accuse me of ignoring Australian cinema.
Thanks for reminding me Mick. Read that post on the run and urged myself to get on later and add my list. And then promptly forgot.
So here’s mine:
1. Millers Crossing (Still the Coen brother’s masterpiece for mine)
2. The Godfather (1&2, forget the part 3 crapola)
3. High Noon
4. To Kill A Mockingbird
5. Lawrence of Arabia
So many more, but I could probably live with a choice from those five only for the rest of my years
“After all, living in Australia is the bogan’s crowning achievement.”
So much truth in so few words
:tearofanemu:
I couldn’t care less about the World Cup, FIFA corruption or any other bullshit relating to organised grass diving…sorry, soccer.
Now if you will all excuse me, I have to go get laid.
organised grass diving – i like it.
awesome rant Turnips.
awesome list Mick
awesome Ash!
No worries Chubbs. Thought I needed the fire extinguisher for a moment.
Commiserations re the ‘shrooms though :(
since Qatar were the winners, maybe we shouls get Woollongong to have a go. make as much sense.
The Sunday cycling parade.
It’s like a rolling nightclub.
Tight, bright clothes, sweaty people,
all hyped on stimulants.
Still carrying on conversations
even though they’re out of breath &
have a 180+ heart rate.
Plus the occasional terriotrial dispute.
I’m trying to recover from yesterday’s double dose of Boganity – my local town’s Christmas pageant featured a float for the local Pole Dancing club! Oh yes, there’s nothing better at a family event than women in naughty Santa’s helper outfits handing out lollies and club fliers to children!
Then I had to try and drive through Adelaide in the aftermath of Stereosonic – stuck in traffic reduced to a crawl (because ya just walk across the road and call the driver a c**t if they look annoyed) I created my Bogan Bingo.
I thought I’d clean up having spotted three stretch hummers, but I lost because surprise of surprises, there wasn’t a single Aussie flag cape to be seen! Are they all tucked away in Space Bags for the Big Day Out?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/dec/05/world-cup-mick-hucknall-weather
says it all.
chubby and Edna live from a donga at Ceduna (we’re pretending we’ve Gone To The Mines. Mick understands)
Today we crossed the Nullarbor and bought a cheesy sticker to commemorate it. But that’s not important right now.
Last night in an alleged motel room in God Knows Where we saw something possibly EVEN WORSE than Celebrity for a Day.
I was just stepping in and out of the shower and admiring myself in a large mirror at the other end of the alleged en-suite bathroom when I heard a loud thud and muted sobbing from the bedroom. Bursting naked into the room in what I assumed was a Manly and Threating (though still slightly erotic) pose, I found my beloved collapsed on the floor at the foot of the alleged double bed. She was almost catatonic, but managed to point weakly in the direction of the television. I turned my head to look and was almost overcome myself, if not for our beloved Bully pup distracting me by licking my nuts I too may hae been struck down!
She’s really growing into a fine dog.
But that’s not important right now. There on the screen was some tuneless bimbo caterwauling the lyrics of an old John Farnham standard. Karaoke style, the lyrics were scrolling up the screen of he television but selected words were removed and it appeared the object was for the poor deluded bimbo to fill in the missing words whilst giving the impression of “Singing Along”. Now I am an astute Cat, and it was immediately apparent to me that this whole vile production was, in fact, some new sort of “Game Show”!!! When the bimbo had finished a whole crowd of other bimbos applauded and cheered and some vacuous idiot with a microphone wheeled out Vince Sorrentti!
Pausing only to let the dog finish with my nuts and to admire myself in the bedroom mirror, I dived for the power cord and tore it from the outlet and then revived Edna from her torpid stupor with gentle nuzzling at her earlobes.
Fortunately we were able to soothe our bleeding eyes with an old Attenborough documentary on the lap top and our wounded spirits with a generous libation of Tanqueray No 10 and no-one was seriously injured.
Surely this is the Nadir?
Whatever that means.
‘loosing’ the World Cup is a bonus it seems…
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/12/02/why-losing-the-world-cup-bid-is-a-big-win-a-guest-post/
not that bogues would give a shit..
“Winning anything, really, so long as it doesn’t involve the bogan itself competing for the thing that it wants to win. Rather, the bogan will hunt around and attach itself to other groups or individuals it believes likely to win and/or considers representative of it, then loudly proclaim its support for this thing.”
– Explains why so many people worldwide follow Manchester United and, more recently, Chel$ki.
So thats it ! Tha explains whyy so many people still follow the Liberals and the Nationals !!
‘course there had to be a reason, well doesnt there ?
bandwagons.
I was wrong.
it’s global.
Bogan football (soccer) fans really care more about their EPL teams and hating Italy, Serbia and Uruguay than Aus football and how it develops.
The fortunes of Liverpool and Tottenham mainly seem to take importance.
Hating countries and communities that have contributed to Aus society and being good little colonials.
Typical Aussies.
Do you know what you are talking about in the slightest LLP?
Do you know?
Follow football? See how Aussie football fans are and who they support?
Looks like you dont.
So Qatar is still happening? That’s kinda depressing.