Vale Ed Hardy: 2004-2010

16 08 2010

It was with great sadness that we learned in recent days of the death of Ed Hardy Australia after a long illness. Today we mourn, and wear black. Born in 2004 in a top secret mountain lair somewhere near the border of France and Switzerland, Ed Hardy was the love child of Californian tattooist and artist Kenny Howard and French fashion designer and evil genius Christian Audigier. Ed Hardy burst onto the American fashion scene in 2005, when its hideous, overpriced t-shirts and hats featuring gaudy tattooed patterns of flaming skulls and toothsome mammals began appearing on b-grade Californian celebrities’ tanned and protein-enhanced torsos.

Seeing all the ingredients required to fleece giant money bins of cash from the emerging bogan class, Australian businessman Gary Berman secured franchise rights to Ed Hardy and opened a store on Melbourne’s Chapel street in 2006. Bogan royalty like Lara Bingle, Mick Gatto, Sonny Bill Williams and Ben Cousins were instantly attracted to Ed Hardy’s garish designs, pithy slogans and ludicrous price tags, leading bogans around the country to fork over exorbitant sums to mimic their heroes. By 2009, Berman’s vermin had expanded to 14 stores around Australia, stocking a nauseating array of useless products festooned with blazing, angry animals, generating around $20 million a year. With plans to go to 35 stores and expand into Asia, the Ed Hardy juggernaut appeared unstoppable.

But tragedy was to be around the corner. While the bogan enjoyed using Ed Hardy to loudly state its undesirable characteristics, it was also simultaneously driven to conform. This is one of the great internal inconsistencies of the bogan, and occasions where its need to fit in clash with its need to be maxtreme can be very traumatic. When some bogans joined anti-Ed Hardy Facebook groups started by poofter intellectuals, the Ed Hardy brand commenced its transition from bogan trophy to bogan atrophy. Its t-shirt featuring a crowned panther jumping over a love heart and a shit slogan started spending more time in the wardrobe, and the bogan realised that it might need to find a new product to loudly consume. Even Fred Durst was taking the piss out of Ed Hardy.

In this, Ed Hardy’s electric rise and gradual fall closely mirrored that of its deceased cousin, Von Dutch. Dutch, another of Audigier’s illegitimate progeny, experienced a briefer, less dazzling life and career as a bogan tour de force, yet undoubtedly laid the groundwork for Hardy’s eventual stunning success and equally spectacular flame-out. Where Dutch failed, however, Hardy succeeded, embossing its label-ness in pure pigmentary loudness, while eschewing particularly prominent name tags, for which its cousin was renowned. And abandoning trucker caps.

In July 2010, after having fallen behind on their rental, all 6 of the Ed Hardy stores in Westfield megamalls around the country were shut down. The company put on a brave face, touting some sort of proactive corporate repositioning strategy. While this only fooled the bogan, the entire Australian operation was placed under administration surprisingly soon after, with further store cutbacks announced. Part time financial analyst Mick Gatto explained this confusing sequence of events to the bogan thusly: “the way the government charges taxes I’m surprised a lot more people haven’t gone broke”. The bogan, wary of being seen to be on a sinking ship, hardened up and pretended it was not emotionally affected by the news.

Ed Hardy is survived by its father Christian Audigier, a synthetic muscle-bot that resembles Madonna, and, inexplicably, Ben Cousins. A memorial service will be conducted at 2pm on Tuesday August 17, at the Ed Hardy site at 401 Chapel Street, South Yarra, Victoria. Through the tears of the mourners, it may look as though this store, being still open, will survive. It will not. It is dead.


Actions

Information

189 responses

16 08 2010
Sibyl Ince

I reiterate:

WTF TBL? “Once you go black you never go back” ?

Hate it – hate it lotsly, even though I don’t read it muchly. Format screwed, text too small, orange-on-black is nauseating (Stevie Wonder is your colour consultant?). What the hell were you thinking? You fucked up.

17 08 2010
Notorious

In the words of Smokey Robinson; I second that emotion

16 08 2010
Shirley M

Trophy to atrophy. Very nice.

16 08 2010
James Hunter

Could have been from “a trophy to atrophy” ?

16 08 2010
Shirley M

I suppose it could have, but it isn’t. And I like it the way it is.

16 08 2010
Benny Hill

And with South Yarra and to a lesser extent Toorak being bogan hubs, the ‘memorial service’ turn out is sure to be of monumental proportions along with coffee sales and croissandwich’s.

16 08 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse

LOL. By lesser extent you mean not at all.

16 08 2010
Benny Hill

Not an ‘outdoorsy type’ Fiona?

16 08 2010
lol-plates

Truly a sad day. On the other hand I like the new layout for todays theme, I find light writing on black background much easier on the eyes(and it reminds me of maddox’s web page).

I wonder what the next brand will take the hole that Ed Hardy left to take the bogan dollars?

16 08 2010
Shirley M

I’m working on ideas right now. You know, strike while the iron’s hot. The key seems to to sparkly, gaudy, easily recognisable and grossly overpriced.

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Helpful suggestions. Place a poster of Brendan Fevola, Danny Green or Warwick Capper (old school,but bogan royalty still) on your wall and picture them wearing your new creations. What comes to mind? Apart from vomit.

How about a twin jet ski? You could call it a Catamaranski, twice the f$ck-off grunt, double the guzzle and 2 x the trouble. Yeah!

I’ll come up with the ad campaign.

16 08 2010
Shirley M

Nice idea indeed. I’ve been thinking of names for the label. How about ‘bitch U men’ or ‘Gravelle’ (the elle should be italicised)?

All items should be very, very tight.

I know you’re the ad man and all, but how about ‘hard and tight’ for a slogan?

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Yeah, works for me.

Hard and Tight. All night. Rock her world, road warrior with BITCH-U-MEN and bring her back for 124. At your nearest Brothers Neilson NOW!

The label could have 124 between V8 pistons with a big tongue lapping up some oil. I predict queues outside every Westfield.

16 08 2010
James Hunter

Hardntight one word ?

16 08 2010
Shirley M

Or: Hard. And. Tight.

16 08 2010
Shirley M

A T Shirt with a naked ‘lady’ on it. One metal plate embossed with ‘hard’ covering (barely) her boobies, and another embossed with ‘tight’ covering her vajayjay.

That’s GOT to be a winner!

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

ooh.

I wonder if Myer will stock it?

16 08 2010
Shirley M

I reckon, Chairman.

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

I’vecomeover allnarrowandupright.

16 08 2010
vivisection

Shirley, learn to spell TITE !

16 08 2010
Tubesteak

Surely they’ll just stick to knock-offs and Affliction

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

For those of us not in Melbourne can we count on coverage of the memorial service here?

16 08 2010
Simon of South Yarra

so what will the mourners at the shot criminal’s funeral today, wear?

There will be “designer” shades, dark “court” suits but will the minor thugs wear their Ed Hardy tees?

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Correct. Full military honours. Plus the occasional prat-like goatee, the tandoori tan for the laydeees, and something quiet on the stereo. Blaze of Glory by the Bon, probably.

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Or Run To Paradise by the Choirboys

16 08 2010
Shirley M

Every Rose has its Thorn?

16 08 2010
vivisection

Unskinny Bop, by the size of him.

16 08 2010
Ghengis of Coles Gungahlin

Or the techno version by some guy called “Nick Skitz”

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms
16 08 2010
vivisection

SGAA – Great picture, but where are the hot chicks?

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/08/the-garden-of-earthly-douche-blights/

Just for you Viv, a chick in Ed Hardy swimsuit. Ya had ta arsk.

16 08 2010
vivisection

Hot? She looks like her head is on backwards….

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No where did I mention hot. You can’t be hot in Ed Hardy anyway.

16 08 2010
vivisection

The website is called hotchicks with douchebags, I see douchebags, but nary a hot chick in sight. ! False advertising. I’ll let you off the hook though.

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/10/samurai-scrote/

Ok Viv, just for you a hotchick. Happy now?

16 08 2010
vivisection

What would i know, i’m gay. She looks like a mirrorball in that dress.

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Best I could find on the site. It should be named Douchebags and slappers really but there you go. I thought the gay community had very definite ideas on what is hot and what is not?

16 08 2010
vivisection

i am a bad homosexual.

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You will never get a job in the meedja as the token homo if you don’t have an opinion on hottness!

16 08 2010
vivisection

damn!!
another dream shettered.

16 08 2010
Mephistopheles

I was utterly delighted when the Ed Hardy at the Bondi Junction Westfield shut its door but I was not at the time aware that it was part of a bigger thing. How utterly delightful, as was (mentioned by Shirley M) “trophy to atrophy”.

16 08 2010
vivisection

The Ed Hardy Boys and Case of Hot Philipino’s Missing Tramp Stamp was great – thanks for sharing TBL!

16 08 2010
Guinea Pig

Fare thee well, EH.

You will be missed, in a Carl Williams/Hey Hey kind of way.

16 08 2010
Tombarina

…ie, like a second ar$ehole.

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Part-time financial consultant Mick Gatto… arf! Careful boys, you live in Melbourne, MG lives in Melbourne. He knows where you live.

16 08 2010
T-ra

With the greatest respect TBL, I think you are announcing the funeral a bit too early on this one. The company operating the Ed Hardy brand in Australia is in administration, not liquidation. Although a company coming through administration is difficult, it is not impossible and a turnaround may be achieved. Further, it is the company peddling the brand in Australia which is in trouble, not the brand itself. This development has no bearing on the existence of the ‘Ed Hardy’ brand world wide. Depending on what the contracts say, head company in Europe could revoke the company’s ability to sell the brand and give it to someone else, or as what happened with the Herringbone label the company could sell the ‘brand’ to a new company. I’d just be hanging back for a moment on this one before charging head first to the cemetary to dance on the love heart and skull, diamonte encrusted grave.
Just a thought…

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

The combined prayers of tbl-ers should be enough to sink the EH caravan surely. Coupled with meditative mantras from the atheists.

Failing that, I believe Mark McInnis is looking for a gig … and EH is kind of like a giant F%ck in the mouth, so it’s a match I say.

16 08 2010
pb

we all know the secret, don’t we? all we need to do is believe that ed hardy will collapse completely and it will happen.

16 08 2010
vivisection

I will believe it, while I am wearing magnets.

16 08 2010
James Hunter

Viv, You will be a real” torr de force”

16 08 2010
James Hunter

are there that many tlb-ers who pray ?

16 08 2010
Dgusten

Yeah, but Ed sort of feels like it should be clothing for the undead, so if it does make a zombie or vampire like comeback it’s all the more appropriate that we had a funeral first.

16 08 2010
JimC

As Darth Vader once said: “Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!”

What will the self-absorbed bogan clad their child in now?

16 08 2010
Hardon Breathe

You’re a complete tool. What crap will you come up with next.

16 08 2010
James Hunter

It would take one to know one.

16 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Are you admonishing your hardon? ‘C’mon little hard on, breathe! Breathe! You can do it little guy!’ Or are you just a dick who don’t know nuffink bout grammar n shit?

16 08 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse

LOL. Come up with? It is purely a statement of fact.

16 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

I can’t imagine the bogan morning anything, I didn’t think they really felt affection for anything other than themselves.
My only fear, is that they will latch on to something worse than Ed Hardly. Could it get any worse?

😀

16 08 2010
Sten

That’s right, Pinky (where’ve you been!?), the Bogan mourns for nobody and nothing. When something tragic occurs, the Bogan drinks it’s cement and gets on with it.

As to what the Bogan will latch on to next, in the words of a wise man “I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away.”

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Hey ya Sten,

I have been unwell, had a bit of nervy! LOL Not funny really…

I did think of something they would mourn… The loss of their Baby Bonus…LOL

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Stay well Pinky.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si- GAA
Thanks man. Am getting better but these things take time. :/

You guys have given me many smiles which has done me the world of good.

😀
And now the death of Ed Hardy has made me really happy!!

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

We’re here to help. Anyone else you would like killed?

17 08 2010
Tombarina

How about Carl Williams? According to Alyssa KT, the word on the street is that the Big Fella’s demise was all a sham. A conspiracy. A fakery. He’s alive, well, and running a financially unviable pie-shop at Dingo.

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

We can send Chub and Edna over to take care of Carl. They are in QLD I believe.

17 08 2010
vivisection

Dingo -I forgot about Dingo. Once I got stuck on a highway for two hours halfway between Dingo and Emerald, in a police car – we had to flag down a truckie to help. I had been playing with the siren and lights as we were driving behind a truck loaded with mining equipment at 20 km an hour. Because I had the aircon on full and music on loud and all the lights on, I flattened the battery…The policeman I was with wasn’t impressed. Never got asked to go on a road trip with him again. I can only imagine the opening of a pie shop would have been a social occasion like no other out there.

17 08 2010
Sten

WTF!? This is new to me… funny it should emerge the day after the anniversary of another fat white-trash hero…

17 08 2010
Sten

Good to hear you’re getting better, Pinky. I suppose the demise of Ed Hardy would even put the spring back in the step of a corpse (not that I’m comparing you to a corpse, of course!). 😀

17 08 2010
Tombarina

Glad you’re back, blossy.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Sten

As long as you don’t refer to me as a corpse dressed in Ed Hardy we’re all good!! And thanks, been a tough month but nothing can keep me from Bogan Bashing!! WOOT

@ Tomba
Thanks *blush**

@ Simon GAA
Just keep the posts going and I’ll be a happy libtard. 😉

17 08 2010
vivisection

And that should be the final question in any assessment of a person’s health and well being. “What do you think of bogans”. Clearly you pass P!nky! Welcome back 🙂

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Aww thanks Viv, As your minister for the conservation of non-bogans, that is at the TOP of my assessment list, I don’t want to waste your imperial money on taking to much time to assess them 😉

PS I’m really happy to be back, I’ve missed you guys!

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Martin is also a Libtard. He was tested and came up positive much to his own disgust.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Is he okay? Poor Marty. Maybe he needs a big libtard hug. 😀

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That’s a good idea. Perhaps send him a Libtard club badge so he feels included. I think he is currently holed up in a dark room staring at his belly button.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si
Poor love. I’ll send my special “I’ve just found out I’m a Libtard CAT team” They’ll help him through.
😉

17 08 2010
Sten

No worries, Pinky. I wasn’t referring to you as any kind of corpse. It’s good to have you in the land of the living, dealing out well-deserved scorn to the Boganic multitudes.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Sten
😀

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Dots back, how excitement.

17 08 2010
Shirley M

And as insightful as ever.

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

She’s only a little dot.

17 08 2010
Tombarina

Has it occurred to anyone that Dot is Mark Latham?

Both mad as loons and brimful’o’bile.

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Good call Tomba.

17 08 2010
SD

I am surprised . honed in on the one spelling mistake – there are plenty scattered around these parts!

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

It has a special liking for the Pinkster.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si GAA

Why is that?

@ Everyone

HAHAHA Thanks for giving It sh!t for me.

MWAH

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I just don’t know. . any ideas?

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si GAA

Must be my avatar. 😉 I look spectacular!

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

They are cool sunnies you have Pinky.

17 08 2010
Tombarina

Hey Dot, correct this:

“You’re a mean-spirited dullard – a fool to yourself and a burden to others.”

Go hard, Sunshine….

17 08 2010
.

Pinky, learn to spell.
“bogan morning ” ?

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Oops, sorry off my game, I do whole heartedly apologise for my spelling…again. 😀

17 08 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
Maybe “Period” could start the TBL “Pedants Club ” ? ?

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH
Would you join?

I never really understand what It is raving on about. Although it was a pretty daft error. And yet again It needs to cross It’s legs as It’s Bogan is showing 😉

17 08 2010
brad

Heh Pinky hope you feeling better,however you may wish too retire from the world again after this Sat’s result ha ha.( good too hear from you again)

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Brad
HAHAHAHA yeah…I’m f@cked either way! LOL

I’m glad to be back!

Where’s darling Fi. She hasn’t had the chance to insult me in a few weeks.

17 08 2010
James Hunter

Me join? no when Im pedantic its to take the piss. some others do it for misplaced righteousness.m in Periods case maybe it is rect- itude ha de ha

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

JH, it’s spelt pendant.

17 08 2010
SD

. will be the sole member and can be gainfully employed correcting our mistakes.

16 08 2010
da

T-ra,
you must be an educated bogan….

16 08 2010
T-ra

Da…yep, sprung…I am educated, very educated and corporate reconstruction is one of the sandboxes that I play in on a regular basis. Jury is still out on whether I am a bogan or not. I hate Ed Hardy, AC/DC, don’t drive a commodore or a ford, don’t have a tattoo, don’t drink or watch Master chef, am an avid reader and have never been to Bali…I do, however, come from Queensland, watch State of Origin, like watching a game of football (any code) and have had my photo taken in front of ‘big stuff’ on the side of the road. However, as they say it takes one to know one…so if you say I am Da, then it must be true.

17 08 2010
James Hunter

Corporate restructuring, …like asset stripping and sell the shell so the raiders make a killing and everyone else is dead ?

16 08 2010
Theblob

I suspect the bogan is about to start a new affair with Lacoste

16 08 2010
vivisection

They can have it.

16 08 2010
Tombarina

Lacoste seems feasible – it has a dangerous predator as its logo, albeit a cutesy widdle snappy-wappy version.

The bogan doth regard itself as a dangerous predator in its own right – ergo, will be looking for something with a suitable visible logo to brand itself.

Along with Lacoste, and in the absence of any immediate successor to Ed Hardy’s (porcelain) throne, I predict Puma and Ralph Lauren – admittedly, the polo pony’s not particularly fearsome, but the rider’s wielding a maXXXtreme mallet. At speed.

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I think Ralph is there already Tomba.

16 08 2010
Tombarina

True, Si.

I note that the bogan has eschewed the grossly overpriced genuine article with the little logo for the still-overpriced-but-marginally-less-so knock-off with a pony the size of Botswana and a mallet you can see from space.

16 08 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse

LOL. I shan’t accept it.

16 08 2010
martin

I think they’ll have focus more on the ugly attitude. It could make things worse in a way. They won’t be able to display ugliness just by the clothes.

16 08 2010
SD

Didn’t the overly large polo pony have its day – or was it an Asian bogan thing?!

How long before Ed Hardy becomes an obscure brand only found in Vinnies bins and duly adopted by hipsters in an ironic way?! Or flogged by a vintage shop for an obscene amount?!

TBL Black Letterhead by Ulysses Ronquillo sucks when it comes to employing the reply button.

We must mourn in this colour scheme for another 24 hours. TBL

16 08 2010
Tombarina

SD, I’m sorry to have to inform you that the allosaurus-sized pony logos are alive and well.

I witnessed an entire herd of them at a previously bogan-free bar in Paddington a few nights ago. There were about 15 of them – it looked like a Man From Snowy River, only with pastel tones and popped collars. But a $hitload of ponies…..

16 08 2010
Tombarina

*…Man from Snowy River REENACTMENT…*

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Tomba, Should it be a string of Polo Ponies?

16 08 2010
SD

OK the allosaurus caused me to laugh way too much and I think some coffee just went up by nose.

It would appear the bogan desire for oversized logos is not likely to go the way of the allosaurus anytime soon then.

16 08 2010
Sten

Meanwhile, I pray (not literally, of course) for the proverbial meteorite.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Ed Hardy is proof there is no God. 😛

17 08 2010
Sten

Many, many things point to the non-existence of God, my dear, but Ed Hardy proves that God loves Bogans (why else would S/He have made so many of them?)

17 08 2010
vivisection

Its like the old age question – if god hats f@gs, why are we so good looking?

17 08 2010
vivisection

age old, not old age question…

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I can’t comment on Homo’s hotness as I am a hetro, sorry Viv.

17 08 2010
vivisection

Well , what kind of excuse is that! It does sound familiar though… You can just assume we are hot. It’s a safe assumption.

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You sure your opinion is not biased Viv?

I can think of several who are not hot. Eg Ian (the ex rugby player), Ian Thorpe, Tom Cruise, Ellen Degeneres…………………

17 08 2010
SD

Simon, as a regular commenter you know Viv’s Supreme Hotness is beyond dispute- so that’s a lame excuse – just extrapolate!

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

SD, see above for desention. I will acknowledge Viv’s cyber hotness though. If I was to turn…… Love a good book collection.

17 08 2010
vivisection

Ah,you would think that modesty would prevent me from agreeing. But it doesn’t. Though Simon while you have a point about the Ian’s, Tom and Ellen, not being particularly easy on the eye, you forget that the Queer Hot Sensibility often (not always) differs from the straight Hot Sensibility.
Eg, Some big honkin Lessos love Ellen’s look, while a straight man wouldn’t admit to it in public. Queers are more open to less conventional looks being hot. That said, there are some nasty looking tangerine queens with iridescent teeth and game show host hair out there….

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Viv, you don’t know what modesty is but that’s part of your hotness I believe.

Luckily there is someone out there for everyone. Except Jennifer Aniston, no one wants her according to Womans Day.

17 08 2010
vivisection

Then it must be true. If WD said so. Not surprising either – I could see a lifetime of loneliness in that girl when i first saw her in her first film “Leprechaun” all those years ago. She had it coming.

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Punishment for sh*t acting I reckon. Karma will get you in the end.

17 08 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Keep Karma out of it or Viv will get jelous !

17 08 2010
vivisection

Simon, We must be careful, bogans love Karma, (especially on facebook) And they love to talk all day about Jennifer Anniston. But, anyway, here is the trailer with some of her finest acting! Enjoy

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Were those Ed Hardy shorts she is wearing at 1.15?

17 08 2010
vivisection

“Hello , I need the police, its an emergency, my teeny tiny Ed Hardy shorts are making my bum look big..”

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Viv, is this a so bad it’s good movie or simply toxic waste?

17 08 2010
vivisection

I haven’t seen it for years, but do recall it being quite craptastic. It spawned a million sequels and a tv series, with one episode being set “in the hood”. I’d try it again. But my crap tolerance is quite high in films.

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’m afraid mine is low. My wife wanted me to watch Arnuld in Running man a while ago as she had fond memories of it back in the day. I lasted 3 minutes before leaving the room asking her what drugs she was on during the original viewing.

I can’t do crap I’m afraid. Oooh except Baywatch, I can’t get enough of that and it is craptastic in the maxxtreme.

17 08 2010
James Hunter

Sten,
I doubt that logically actual things can point to the non existance of god.
the lack of things actual inferes that there is no god.
??

17 08 2010
Sten

I’m with you there, James. I just wanted to use God in an attack on Boganity.

16 08 2010
Dgusten

Worse yet, second-hand Ed Hardy T shirts could soon be donated to kids in developing countries (is that the current PC term for it? I know you’re not supposed to say Third World anymore. I can never keep up with this policital correctness gone mad…).

Anyway, when I was in Laos earlier this year, I saw a boy wearing a shirt with “B is for Biatch” (sic) written on the front.

I felt like a f#cking ar$ehole but nonetheless asked him if I could take a photo of “him” and he happily obliged.

I guess the likelihood of Ed showing up in the Laoses of the world is diminished by the requirement of bogans to actually bother to donate their clothes to charity (instead of putting it the bin, or perhaps the recycling bin if they’re feeling particularly worldly).

16 08 2010
SD

Dgusten no need for the bogan to discard its EH – can confirm that Ed Hardy has Asian stores – the moneyed morons there think its way too cool and no doubt pass it on to the “help”. Not to forget the cheap as chips Ed Hardy knock offs – juts like the real thing but the tee is loaded with pesticides and even brighter colours.

16 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms
16 08 2010
Tombarina

David Beckham, Tara Reid, Chris Brown, Kanye West, Kim Kardishian, Madonna and the High School Musical kiddies….well, I’VE certainly been made to look like a goose for thinking this was a brand for vacuous hambeasts with more $ than sense.

*shuffles off to remove egg from face*

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Just wondering Tomba, which of those is not a vacuous hambeast? You left out Heidi Montag as well.

17 08 2010
Tombarina

I was being facetious.

BTW, what IS a Heidi Montag? She seems to pop up occasionally, looking like a barely-animated blow-up doll, but I’ve absolutely no idea what she does or who she is. Or why she is, for that matter…

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Actually Tomba you have nailed it. A Montag is a blow up doll that pops up here and there but has no discernable purpose.

17 08 2010
vivisection

Heidi Montague has a valuable place in society. She is a cautionary tale for young women in the 21st century.

17 08 2010
SD

Cautionary tale being not to Capulet to the maxtreme makeover industry.

17 08 2010
Sten

I might possibly never forget you said that, SD.

17 08 2010
SD

In a good way, I hope!

17 08 2010
Sten

Heh heh…

16 08 2010
Gazza

TBL, I like the update! Well, most of it 🙂 The colours are good, the text disappearing as people reply, not so good.

But, I’m sure some minor tweaking shall rectify. Kudos for trying something fresh.

16 08 2010
martin

I think it sucks balls. Turn it back to what it was I say. I cant see shit.

16 08 2010
Tombarina

I’ve a shiny penny that says this vile black/red ‘look’ is an Ed Hardy tribute, and that before you can say “Warnie’s a legend and not at all a F$#*^ing twat”, all will be back to normal.

Or at least whatever it is that passes for normal here in TBL-land…..

16 08 2010
Enzo

“…a top secret mountain lair…”

I knew the writing style reminded me of someone, I just couldn’t place it, until now. The Hack.

17 08 2010
Solskjaer

“Part time financial analyst Mick Gatto…”

Oh, how I chortled at that line!

17 08 2010
chubbybloodfart

and in a dazzling twist of synchronicity Supra Bogan Svengali ben cousins is also going into voluntary administration. As a fellow psychonaut I sympathise; it’s a serious drag when one’s career interferes with one’s proclivities. But there y’ go, once that door is opened, it’s pretty hard to close. (All rehab can do is show you that you can go without, and then it’s up to one’s self to manage it. Ben’s pretty obviously been struggling.) My advice to Ben: get a warehouse and a pill press somewhere out west. There’s a serious shortage of quality bickies these days.

a smart lad could cash in.

17 08 2010
Tombarina

You were painting quite the future for young Ben, Chubster.

Then you spoiled it with the word “smart”.

17 08 2010
brad

CBF,was watching a quite humurous flick on Sunday called “The Hangover”.(while nursing an extreme one after a maxxtreme weekend up north in sin-city) and could,nt but help shake the feeling that perhaps your good self may have been the inspiration for “Allan”.

17 08 2010
brad

the flipper situation has been serious for some months now- maybe Ben can save us all,maybe he has them all!

17 08 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh,
and because I’m in the digital wilderness so frequently I miss posting these observations…
like when the lady on Radio National, reporting on victorians killing eachother described the most recent incident as an “underworld” style killing instead of saying “underbelly”!
How we laughed! but it isn’t funny.
the ABC is really slipping. Where’s the attention to detail?
Media Watch have been notified.

17 08 2010
pb

i think i’ve become too attached to tbl. listening to music while working and reading the comments here, fats waller’s ‘your feets too big’ and i immediately thought about the discussion a few months back about shirley’s feet.

17 08 2010
SD

Forever immortalised in her twitpic!

I totally get what you are saying pb-many waster hours here but they don’t feel wasted.

17 08 2010
SD

bah *wasted*

17 08 2010
Shirley M

Great. That’s effing great. 😉

17 08 2010
pb

you’ve all found a place in my heart. isn’t that sweet?

17 08 2010
Shirley M

Yes. Yes it is.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

I’m with you PB

I love this place. It’s been hard to be away, I wasn’t sure if that was a sad thing or a good thing. I decided it was a good thing. 😉

I love cranking up some tunes and reading and getting into conversations I have never thought I would be having.

I ❤ internet and TBL.

17 08 2010
chubbybloodfart

I totally miss wasting tiime here. I am 90% surrounded by boomer bogans in their caravans. narry a decent banter these many a week, let me tell youse. it’s all “whaddaya got?”, “wherraya bin?”, and “wherraya garn?”.
not that anyone’s listening for a reply, they’re all just waiting for their turn to tell you their shit.
not that you’d want to get into any deeper conversation than that anyway. it’s pretty much all “if you dont like it – leave” and “in our day…”
superannuities all up in their brand new ‘cruisers and maxtreme off road Kedron ‘vans, they thrash it up to the tip or down the gibb river and then sit down, fire up the genny and watch Packed to the Rafters.
If one rises early in one of these packed out north east coast grey nomad “destinations” one can hear them all individually rising as their ‘vans come to life, buzzing and grunting and whooshiing as pumps come on for self contained showers and toilets.
it sounds like a horde of primeval beasties lowing, grunting and farting as they rise from slumber.
the single most defining characteristic of the boomer is the sheer sense of entitlement they exude. manifest as indignant indifference to the comfort and peace of any and all sharing the topography with them.
the Mother (and father) Of All Bogans.

17 08 2010
Sten

Ye gawds, sounds truly frightful, Chubby. Is there nowhere safe from these see-Australia-and-die sad-cases?

10 02 2011
chubbybloodfart

pardon my tardy reply Sten.
Apparently not. Dictated by our own limitations it turned out that we followed a well beaten path. the Ubiquitous “Camps Australia Wide” now in fifth edition ensures you’ll rarely sleep alone. if one had the time, money and equipment one might consider putting together a better and more serene and isolated itinerary based on research gleaned on this last trip, but Gods know when I’ll be able to just take a couple of years off again. Already I’ve had to go back to work! The indignity!

17 08 2010
chubbybloodfart

where was I?
oh right…
yeah. No signal.
mostly.
anyway, tony abbot will fix it.
I heard him say so.
we voted last week.
not for tony abbot but.

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Chubs, pump some psyconautics into the water supply. Should liven the park up a bit, if only for your own amusement.

17 08 2010
chubbybloodfart

@simon
just a wase.

sitting in the Ob/Gyn waiting for Edna.
staring at a lodmouth bogue in one of those american trucker hat, mumbling loudly into his mobile. It has a Southern Cross tatt on it’s neck

17 08 2010
chubbybloodfart

now I’m in Cairns Central food court looking at a stall which sells “Crapes”.

…seems to be some sort of pancake…

17 08 2010
SD

No doubt adding the “es” made it seem more sophisticated.

17 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Bet they are made with holemeal flower.

17 08 2010
pb

holemeel, thank you very much simon.

17 08 2010
chubbybloodfart

maybe crape is french for shite.

17 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Seen any Ye Olde Coffee Shoppes on your travels Chubby?

17 08 2010
SD

In other news, Gloria Jeans appears to have run out of money.

17 08 2010
Tombarina

What? We need a link! These are tidings of even more advanced gladness than Ed Hardy’s demise.

17 08 2010
17 08 2010
Tombarina

Jam that up your clacker, Hillsong-fanciers. And by the way – your coffee is CRAP!

17 08 2010
SD

Verily Tomba the closing of GJ will gladden this little girl’s heart.

17 08 2010
Sten

Wa-hey! SD, you are more than forgiven for your Shakespearian punning! Woohoo!

17 08 2010
SD

But Tomba’s “tidings of even more advanced gladness” – it deserveth a verily!

hey hey been reading too much of the Bard…wanders off to Gawker for contemporary snark……

17 08 2010
Tombarina

Verily…..and forsooth.

17 08 2010
18 08 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I have nothing much to say about the Australian demise of Ed Hardy, except that it’s magnificent tidings, and hope springs eternal for the DFO meccas and Gloria Jeans to go to sh¡t too.

As for the Ed Hardy garb, be it trooly gen-yu-ine or rip-off, the aphorism about a turd is still a turd, no matter how hard you polish it (or in C. Audiger’s case, bedazzlerfy and blingify it), still well-and-truly applies and even a knuckle-brained bogan will eventually learn. Well, at least for each example, all the while being seduced by the latest Next Big Thing.

11 09 2012
dayana

oiiie tudo bem com voces

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: