After an international disaster affecting English-speaking people, or during a period when a particularly debilitating illness gets the attention of the media, the bogan feels that it is incumbent upon it to solve the problem. But even entities as maxtreme as the bogan can feel impotent in the face of virulent disease or natural catastrophes. Thousands dead or dying, heads of state solemnly offering their eight-second soundbytes so bogans know they care; it’s all too big.
First, after discounting travelling to the country where the disease is rife/disaster has occurred when it realises that it cannot locate it on a map or fly via Virgin or Jetstar, it considers donating money. Being unfamiliar with charities, and not being aware of any telethon or charity concert providing a convenient phone number via which to pledge to celebrities, it discards that notion too. It then gives up on the idea that it can help. The problem is just too big.
Two days later at the shops it spies, on the counter, The Solution. Joy swells up in its heart and tears well in its eyes as it reaches down and collects The Solution. It buys a coloured ribbon.
Having seen celebrities wearing these things during the Logies broadcast, it knows they work. Now, on the long walk from the car park to whichever shop it is attending, or at the workplace or schoolyard, the bogan can now loudly – and brightly – advertise just how much of a humanitarian it really is. It cares about poor people in other countries. To the tune of a $3.50 fashion accessory.
Of course, it was only a matter of time before the bogan – in particular the male bogan – decided that pinning a colourful ribbon looks a bit lame on a day-to-day basis. A solution needed to be found, and found it was. Coloured wristbands.
Celebritised by ultramegasuperbogan icon Chris Martin, these brightly coloured demonstrations of magnanimity have at least ten billion times more bogan cachet than ribbons. They have space to actually print the name of the charity on the bogan’s wrist, they sit on a place that the bogan can cover with a sleeve if they feel self-conscious and they are worn by a celebrity in places other than red carpets.
Today, the observant bogologist will see that pink is the ribbon/wristband of choice for the discerning bogan. The bogan realised it could be humanitarian and generous, yet still buy Australian. The female bogan will fight against breast cancer to the death – it needs them to retain the attention of its mate. The male bogan just digs massive cans.
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Don’t waste a good article on wristbands (“live strong”) by mixing it with the one on ribbons.
was worried that this would be all about ribbons but you segued beautifully to the wristband – which of course look so good!
Looks too much lke a bangle for my liking!
LOL. Is there no problem rock stars can’t solve?
World poverty has been eradicated no less than twice by them!
I wonder how they are going to solve the future problem of gazillions of charity wristbands in landfill?
LOL. I’d worry about it, but I know Bono will be on the case when the time is right.
Sell more wristbands to support re-cycling of wristbands?
Sigh… maybe we should just start recycling Bogans. Gimme my soylent green!
Soylent Green is people.
Bogans aren’t people.
Thus cleareth my conscience.
As much as cannibalism has always intrigued me, I don’t think I could just hoe into some unprocessed Bogan-flesh. I’d start to wonder what sort of crap was in the meat.
At least it would be well marbled and marinated in spirits…might be a little high in nicotine content though…no fear of the muscle being tough and stringy, more succulent and soft like veal…
Now I love a good cut of smoked meat as much as the next man (especially when it’s done churrasco style…mmmm), but I can’t imagine tobacco smoke would make the meat taste very good.
As for marbling? Keep it.
I think I’d prefer to eat beer-marinated Bogan-flesh. Preferably that of a Tooheys Old drinker, but I doubt they really exist anymore.
Actually, 1.4 billion people still live in extreme poverty – under US $1.25 a day, or Aussie $1.85.
Poverty is by no means eradicated.
Caley,
Ah, you take Fi’s comment far too literally.
In any case poverty would be easy to eradicate if we make foreign aid dependant upon implemtation of effective population controll measures.
Second thing to do is eradicate the Roman Catholic Church that still in this day and age encourages by all means the people in these inpoverished conditions to breed , breed, breed.
After we do those too things then the rest will come to pass.
I recall a comedy skit a while ago (might have been on Fast Forward) that was taking the piss out of the news and the newsreader had about a dozen different coloured ribbons pinned to his lapel. Pretty much sums up my thoughts…
Hey TBL! I think you guys should sell a bogan awareness silicone wristband. I’d buy one.
Here’s a link to an excellent provider.
https://reminderband.com/order/index.php
Don’t thank me. I’m happy to help.
Hey Shirl I like where this could be headed. These would probably be the 3 inscriptions I’d wear:
“ADHD”
“Glassing Cunts”
“I’m Not Racist, BUT…”
What do you think?
All good. I particularly like ‘Glassing C*nts’. Maybe we could also have a ‘Done me back in’ wristband.
Ooh ooh! An ‘ANAL!’ wristband!
Maybe “Louis Vuitton Femme Bogue” for a bit of class and shit?
“Fuck of we’re full of bogans” ?
Ah, great minds, Pinky. I really should start carrying a permanent marker around.
Hey Ya Sten!!
Where you been? We’ve missed you :D
I really want the “F#@k of we’re full of bogans” BAHAHAHA
Aw, thanks Pinky, that’s sweet. I’ve been sick in bed most of the past week – nasty dose of the Flu.
As for the “F#@k of we’re full of bogans”… surely it could fairly easily be turned into a bumper sticker or something?
@ sten
I can see a whole range of merchandise. :)
Yeah, but we do have to be careful, Pinky. As folk who decry commercialism and conspicuous consumption, we walk a fine line between a profitable joke at the Bogan’s expense, and becoming that which we hate…
@ Sten
As always you are the voice of reason. A joke isn’t worth it. ;)
Really? The voice of reason? I sure wish folks would listen to me more often!
@ Sten
Too me you’re the voice of reason. All the voices in my head are unreasonable! ;)
Huh… you should meet some of the other Stens who share my cranium, Pinky! :)
I have the “Buy Nothing Day” wristband, which is completely invisible to the naked eye, purchased at all good nowheres costing absolutely nothing more than a spot in your own consciousness and though globally observed on 28 November, you can wear it any ol’ time you so wish and flaunt your allegiance to nothingness.
I was mindful of kramer at the AIDS march. Kramer wouldn’t wear a wristband.
beat me too it, BTW it was aids ribbon..
“Who does not want to wear the ribb-bon!?? Who? Choo?”
Is that Chris Martin, or Rod Quantock?
and of course now there are the generic feelgood wristbands you can buy in packets of multicoloured fluoro with vague sentiments about friendship and happiness. while the charity ones might not really do much at least they raise a little bit of money – now the bogue can just buy fashion ones and not have to open themself up to anything outside their own little world.
Don’t forget AFL team wristbands!
Wonder ? Can you get them with inbuilt magnets?
Or those stupid magic power band things the sportsbogues wear.
Was this the first floating of the neologism, “bogologist”?
I would probably prefer “boganetics” (because it’s kind of reminiscent of dianetics, which through populism, commercialism and the combination of the two, celebrity endorsement, is also a quintessentially bogan, lazy substitute for religion).
Speaking of celebrity endorsed religions (which I clearly am) how about a TBL post on celebrity endorsed religions?
How about “boganographer”? A scientist who specialises in the written description and classification of bogans?
Boganography
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Boganography is the statistical study of bogan populations. It can be a very general science that can be applied to any kind of dynamic bogan population, that is, one that changes its preferred refreshment (bourbon or beer or alcopop) (see bogan dynamics). It encompasses the study of the size, structure and distribution of these bogan populations, and physical and/or financial changes in them in response to rooting (birth), holidaying in Bali (migration), sagging (ageing) and stacking the ute during a burnout (death).
Demographic analysis can be applied to whole bogan societies or to bogan groups defined by criteria such as lack of or minimal tafe education, nationalism (adorning ones naked torso with the national flag), religion (afl/nrl) and ethnicity (brogan, woggan, crogan, muslogan bogasian etc). Institutionally, boganography is usually considered a field of boganology, though there are a number of independent boganology departments. Formal boganography limits its object of study to the measurement of bogan population processes, while the more broad field of social boganography population studies also analyze the relationships between economic (disposable high mining/tradie salary), social (glaaassin’caaants), cultural (nickelback/barnesy/farnsey concerts) and biological (rooting) processes influencing a bogan population.
Re. the ethnic variants of bogan, surely Showgans (“Carnies” to use the American vernacular) deserves to be treated as a non-ethnically defined sub-set.
Yes excellent distinction jon, the showgan deserves a category all their own although I don’t believe they meet the strict definitional criteria of bogan given their low earning potential and lack of tradie skills and socio-economic wherewithall to procure rum in quantity, utes, McMansions, dirt bikes, ski boats, high powered semi-automatic rifles and personal water craft…the accoutrement de riggeur of the genuine bogue…
So you would posit the Showgan is actually an old-school Bogue highly adapted to a specialised environment? Perhaps a migratory, rather than sedentery variant?
I posit, Sten, that the showgan is infact a precursor to the modern day bogan. A nomadic, (see their caravan-caravan parked behind the ferris wheel and merry-go-round) shamanistic (see them hit the little yellow duck targets with the dodgy air rifle that intentionally doesn’t shoot straight) tribal bogan that may well represent the bogan evolutionary ‘missing link’ that bridges the colonial/convict evolutionary lineage with the pre-contemporary old skool bogan…evolutionarily it is like the crocodile or the shark that evolved to master it’s environment, out-evolved it’s natural predators and didn’t need to evolve any further and so remained at an evolutionary plateau…
Roaming free where the family supplements (parts A & B) and benefits are most plentiful…
Do you know a lot about these benifits?
JH, Referring to centerlink benefits – where the aspiring bogue learns to convert their free time into ‘paid’ activity – where they become ’employed’ by the tax payer to look for ‘work’ for an employer….
GA
You seem to be more than passingly familiar with these matters.
Are you prepared to state equivically that you are not a bogan infiltrator ?
I am not a bogan infiltrator my good man…perish the thought…as I have previously posted…Consider me the ‘Jane Goodall’ of boganology, living amongst them and reporting back that we can better understand them, their rituals and their ways. Just so that our study of them can be directed most accurately and authentically…My region of expertise is currently to be found in the vicinity of Altona Meadows, Laverton, Hoppers Crossing and Werribbee, gateway to that bogan Mecca – Geelong and the epicentre of the Western Suburbs bogan (and in my opinion) the ‘true and authentic’ western suburbs bogan. This is my specialty, as distinct from the southeast and eastern suburbs bogan and not forgetting the northern bogue.
That is like saying TBL are bogan infiltrators because they know so much about matters bogan…preposterous…and a tad paranoid my good man…perhaps limiting the short machiatos to 14 a day may help with that?
GA,
Apparently my favourite tipple is metho, ice cold of course. Or so they say. Me I can’t exactly recall.
Mmmm….maybe time to move onto the single malts old boy? a Laphraig or if too peaty, a Glenlivet perhaps?
Showgans? Nice, Jon, but does this mean I’ll have to go to the next Easter Show to witness this narrow wedge of the Bogan Population Pie?
Do you perhaps have some Showgan anecdotes to share with your fellow researchers?
@ jon
I like your thinking.
Bog(an)ologist
Boganographer
Boganetics
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Boganography
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Boganography is the statistical study of bogan populations. It can be a very general science that can be applied to any kind of dynamic bogan population, that is, one that changes its preferred refreshment (bourbon or beer or alcopop) (see bogan dynamics). It encompasses the study of the size, structure and distribution of these bogan populations, and physical and/or financial changes in them in response to rooting (birth), holidaying in Bali (migration), sagging (ageing) and stacking the ute during a burnout (death).
Demographic analysis can be applied to whole bogan societies or to bogan groups defined by criteria such as lack of or minimal tafe education, nationalism (adorning ones naked torso with the national flag), religion (afl/nrl) and ethnicity (brogan, woggan, crogan, muslogan bogasian etc). Institutionally, boganography is usually considered a field of boganology, though there are a number of independent boganology departments. Formal boganography limits its object of study to the measurement of bogan population processes, while the more broad field of social boganography population studies also analyze the relationships between economic (disposable high mining/tradie salary), social (glaaassin’caaants), cultural (nickelback/barnesy/farnsey concerts) and biological (rooting) processes influencing a bogan population.
Mrs H and I collect them. We get three or four every time we go to hospital !
We were running out of space until our doctor pointed out that we could cut them off once we got home . lol
LOL James !!!
I say Mr Hunter…
Do you notice how much quieter it is now that our resident cabbage defiler has gone on to bigger and brighter things?!?!
Antosha,
Absolutely bloody fabulous, aint it !
Step back a pace take deep breaths
Almost became emotional there. !!
I suggest we both walk to our respective freezers and take a small snort of ice cold Stolly.
Ruskie Standard for me Mr Hunter.
The bogan may indeed like a charity ribbon or 7. But does it – really – like Coldplay?
Discuss.
It must do, I reckon. Coldplay have a lot of fans it seems, but myself and none of my esteemed friends are amongst them. Besides, his kids have effing stupid names, so he’s like a role model and that.
Yes, married to a celeb, lame MOR rock that Triple J is guilty of foisting onto us. Big choruses. Oh and the sprog is called Apple. They have modelled themselves on U2.Need we say more.
the bogue puts on coldplay when it wants to listen to somefink deep and thoughtful and stuff.
Like a deep and thoughtful song about the colour yellow? Worst Song EVER!!
See pb – getting the hang of it like a seasoned veteran!
Say sumfink else! Anyfink…
Coldplay = World’s most boring band! Can’t stand them and I can’t understand why anyone else, bogue or non-bogue would like them either!
Fact.
I would suggest that the antipodean answer to them in mendacious mediocrity are Powderfinger.
I could easily imagine them getting changed into their creams and slotting themselves amongst that other Great Southern Joke, the Australian XII cricket team.
Utter and remorseless beacons of shite.
i’d say that the antipodean answer would be thirsty merc, the most unremarkably unremarkable band ever.
But Thirsty Jerc—as trés ordinaire as they clearly are, cannot pack ’em in like Stinkfinger can. Witness the completely sold-out farewell tour, no doubt the first instalment of many to come later down the line.
That’s one of several aspects where I draw the parallels between them and Moldplay.
that is true. i guess it depends on what aspect you’re trying to compare – inexplicably large album and ticket sales or world championship insipidness.
I heard a Thirsty Merc song, then a Maroon 5 song. I thought it was the same song. A really, truly shite song.
They all suck nuclear waste.
I guess like our coloured ribbon wearers they are bogans with negligible libtard sympathies. Coldplay are U2-2 except about 1/100th as good. Being a Coldplay fan, like being a Nickelback fan, is grounds for an instant 50%+ reduction in the amount of respect the person is worthy of. Probably about 65-68%. If violence wasn’t such the anti-social practice it is today, a prompt punch to the face upon the person’s revelation of their offensive taste in music would be in order.
Jeez Martin. If they are 1/100th as good as U2 then they are like a black hole of suckiness because U2 suck dried donkey balls. The Nickleback comparison is a good one though. Are Coldplay Libtards? I would say yes.
I thought U2 were good. At least they invented that type of sound.
Although to be fair a lot of U2 fans were pretentious arseholes. Not me though. I’m cool.
The cynicism is strong in this one.
“U2 invented that sound”. And so are responsible for KoL, Nickleback, Lameplay etc. Not looking good on the kudos front here for Sunglasses and Tea Cosy head is it.
Hardly responsible for Nickelback, Pearl Jam “ballads” would be responsible for them. I don’t think u2 are responsible for other people ripping them off, in fact Bono called the guy from Coldplay a wanker. That’s like saying it’s the beatles fault because the world had to endure the monkeys.
Bono does seem to have zillions of cash though thanks to his fans – when he is not on the “saving Africa” stunt, he is busy buying a stake in Facebook…..
I think he got about a 1 percent reduction of the crippling debt of some African country.
Haven’t seen him doing anything like that of late. He must have given up.
There was an African economist who had some strong words on these purported debt reductions that mysteriously do little to improve anything-can’t remember who though.
LOL. An “African economist”? Is that like a “wealthy academic”?
More like the “Toorak Classicist” methinks.
Of course post GFC we should be wondering if to that list should be added “Wall Street Economist”.
Dambisa Moyo in her book “Dead Aid”.
Sorry, SD: reference to book in post above was in response to your query.
That’s the one Tombarina, ta!
I want the phone number of Bono’s tax accountant.
I was just stiring you up Martin. I do not like U2 though. Bono is a spanker. A lot is the Beatles fault though (boy bands etc). Not sure where Pearl Jam fits in. I think they flirted with going Bogue but drew back from the Abyss before it was to late.
You don’t remember the tail end of grunge when there was about a million losers with long hair and a morbid outlook on life doing their grunge ballads? Meh, whatever.
Nuh, blanked that bit out. The tail of grunge was responsible for some appauling work. (see entry under Creed, Superjesus, Live, Bush et al)
Fiona of Toorak etc (13:52:35) asked: “LOL. An “African economist”? Is that like a “wealthy academic”?”
Somewhat, except economists are useful compared to academics (in the context of how useful economists are generally thought to be, that’s saying something).
Anti-education. Bogan trait.
DA
I thought a”useful economist” was an oxymoron ?
Exactly. Economists aren’t very useful. And academics are even less so. I’m not anti-education. My returns to education have been very high (in an average sense – in a marginal sense, probably less so now). I am, however, against education for the sake of it, for no particular purpose or application other than improving one’s own perception of one’s self worth.
Oh, and arts degrees. I am completely against arts degrees.
I’d say if you are against education for the sake of it and you’re against arts degrees, that makes you both an anti-intellectual and very very boring.
LOL. A higher degree in the liberal arts is the highest calling. Only those truly gifted and intelligent can aspire to it.
DA
Education to my mind is always for the sake of itself and although I abhore the people who spend years at university with out ever studying facts so that as experts in failed theories they can call themselves economists I would point out that most pure research in the sciences is done for the sake of finding out “why” . From the knowledge gained by playing to mankinds curiosity have come all the things that give us our material wealth.
DA, you sound exactly like the engineers I studied with who went on to be boring bankers intent on justifying their job.
People who do Arts degrees are by and large are passionate about what they do instead of a soulless “let me calculate what degree gets the maximum returns”. I regret not doing one.
In response to the thread below: I don’t count research as study for the sake of it. Even if we don’t know at the outset what the objective of the research is, often times it proves to be highly important at the end. Many important discoveries have been accidental.
Also, the returns to education don’t need to be financial. There are all sorts of social returns to having a more educated population.
Nor does it need to be applied in a direct sense. Much postgraduate study is really a process of learning how to research, rather than the topic that formed the basis for the PhD being of any particular importance itself. Having people that know how to think is obviously important.
No, I’m more talking about the sheer wankery of doing an entirely irrellevant field of study purely for self aggrandisement. Which in my experience tends to happen more in the arts field than anything else.
It’s no accident that, in choosing a field of study for an artificial internet persona that aspires to aristocracy, Fiona of Toorak chose a “degree in the classics”. Truly, it’s the field you would choose if you had no financial need to work and no desire to achieve anything of any use. It’s probably one of the only aspects of this faux-persona that comes close to fitting the stereotype she aspires (and so often fails) to portray.
Better Man is a bogan favorite, with it’s sing-a-long chorus that the bogues love.
Up there with Holy Grail and Throw Your Arms Around Me..
Ahhhh… the Transcontinental Hotel in the late ’90s..
Oh God – the old Trans. I think I might have been there with you, Antosha, albeit in the early 90s.
Either there, or the Barracks, Cafe Neon (AKA No-one), Rosie’s, Alice’s Rock Cafe, the Underground and the Vic.
Khe san.
None of them know the lyrics, just the chorus.
LOL @ Tombarina !!
Rosies ! I remember going there!
but wait for it… even worse…
Mary Street on a Thursday night for $1 drinks!
The Ultimate Anthem from a pre-modernist Bogan era:
In the 80s and parts of the 90s, maybe. Now? I dunno, something about them just irritates me.
U2 jumped the shark in 1987. Any time after that I just wanted to stab Bono in the neck with a biro for being a pretentious twat.
I guess that colours me bogan. All bogans give the “I liked them early when they were cool and edgy.”
That was his point with the radical change with Achtung Baby. To be a pretentious twat. It was irony and being a caricature. It was satire about the whole materialistic and celebrity culture of the west.
Is that why people hate U2? If so, deeerrr.
Nope, it was The Joshua Tree that did it for me. Well before achtung Baby.
I reckon Achtung Baby was Bono having a shot at himself for what he had become.
I’m with you Mick. The Joshua Tree was the sound of Bono and Co disappearing up their own arse.
It was their masterpiece. Blasphemers!
Masturbation on vinyl dude.
Awesome almagamation of white and black rock with a touch of the celt on vinyl.
Followed by *gasp* Rattle and Hum. The sound of much sucking of eack other dicks and general pats on the back.
The sound of more amalgamation of white and black music with more respect to the black. Showcasing the great BB King making him more accessible and saluting the Star Spangled Banner of Hendrix.
Well I don’t know what you mean by vampires. I could understand if you think they have become financial vampires, but musically, no.
I used to go out with a nuclear grade fembogue who absolutely loved U2. They were all hot and musically gifted in her book. Genius she reckoned. I played War for her. She asked who it was.
A musical fairy died that day.
Musicianship wise they aren’t the greatest. In that The Edge can’t play ten million notes a second, Adam Clayton is on the surface a pretty ordinary bass player. But as a team they are probably the best thing since the Beatles, even surpassing them arguably.
Agree martin, they had power. Under A Blood Red Sky is always on high rotation at my place. But they lost something along the way.
They became vampires that glitter
I wasn’t thinking financial vampire but it does fit. It’s more that they became a band that doesn’t have to deliver the goods anymore but they’ll still get plaudits anyhow.
Much like vampires that don’t bite but glitter instead.(and yes, my reference to Twilight is quite probably bogan)
being a nickelback fan is grounds for removal of all respect for a person.
Perhaps a glassing?
only doing your duty.
Or reminding those fans that the lead singer sounds completely constipated, then telling them to go OD on pills, but of the senna variety.
I remember hearing some Coldplay songs performed live and they sounded a million times better than their usual whiney crap.
I kept listening to the radio to find who it was making C’play palatable.
Turned out, it was C’play. They suck less live. (Although that still gives them a vast realm’o’suck to inhabit.)
I wonder what bands people here actually like. I think bogans would like at least one of them. Bogans love [insert band I hate] seems to be common around here with little justification. How come bands such as Empire of the Sun or The Presets gets no mention here? The bogan would go to a festival just to see them.
Agreed, Chris, about the sad tendency to classify a whole group of people as bogan because they like {band_name}.
And I may as well say it – I like Coldplay. (There. I said it.) I particularly like their “Viva La Vida” album. The string section accompaniment to the title track sends a tingle up my spine. U2, I’m neutral towards.
As people have said often enough on TBL – it’s not WHAT you like that makes you bogan. It’s your reasons for liking what you like that determines whether you’re a bogan or not.
If you like Coldplay/U2/Nickelback/etc. because it’s “cool” among your associates and you are so insecure in your identity that you have the compulsive need to base your musical tastes on what everyone else is listening to – yes, you’re a bogan.
If you like Coldplay/U2/Nickelback/etc. because 2Day FM is playing it ad nauseam and you are such a moron who is so incapable of independent thought that you need commercial radio to tell you what music to like – yes, you’re a bogan.
If you like Coldplay/U2/Nickelback/etc. because you genuinely find their music inspiring or relaxing or rousing or because it speaks to your condition – you are probably not a bogan.
http://flavorwire.com/57909/stereotyping-people-by-their-favorite-indie-bands
Helpful guide.
At the moment I am busy friending a squirrel.
SD,
Apparently I am a stay at home dad who thinks my blender is a radio?
:-)
Just noticed this – I think Chubby is a Flaming Lips man!
Yep, and Pinky is into the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s.
And Vivi Patrick Wolf (duh, cliched but its too late in the day for better stuff).
Simon.
Who? LOL Can I sample them somewhere.
Currently on high rotation at the Pickelstien Manor is Tegan and Sara’s new Album “Sainthood” and Bruce Springsteen’s Greatest Hits Album. I’m a bit of a dag. :D
Pinky,
Try Show Your Bones by the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs. I reckon you will like it.
Good luck. Stay away from U2 albums hey Martin!
I’m a self-actualized bro who grow pot. Cool.
And I’m everyone. Meh.
Peter is certainly an M Ward fan.
i saw this once before sd, i like it. a sizeable number of bands i like are there. if i go through the list for all the ones i like i’m a politically-correct hipster who thinks that world hunger could be assuaged with four part harmonies, have self-esteem issues and hate ben gibbard, a girl who wears leggings outside of ’80s-themed parties, i believe in two things: Jesus and Juno, a gay guy, a dude who would rather play chess than Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Drinking Game, a girl who gets sexually aroused by traditional avian mating calls, a lonely, chronic masturbator who end up settling for the Cat Power chicks, Virgins, not in the name of God, but as a result of valiant attempts to achieve poetic justice, People who have ended their tweets on multiple occasions with #BringBackMessengerBags, someone who felt really bad for Buzz Lightyear when he discovered he couldn’t actually fly. And think Toy Story 3 is a step backwards for Pixar, and a Guy who uses the term “breasts” instead of “boobs” out of respect for their girlfriends.
i seem to be a bit confused.
pb way too much overlap with my own confusing list. Do you also like Jeffrey Lewis (guys who can sketch and sing and who go out with chicks described by their girlfriends as “sweet” and “really nice”)?!
i don’t know jeffrey lewis although i’ve heard of him. i’ll have a look at his stuff on youtube.
I have been told I look kind of like a squirrel and my B/F did try and chat me up by talking about old Nickelodeon shows, unfortunately my parents didn’t believe in Foxtel when I was growing up.
Agreed except Nickleback, there is no excuse for Nickleback.
I don’t like Nickelback either. But de gustibus non est disputandum and all that. Which is Latin for “I don’t give a f#$% what you’re into, just don’t make it compulsory.”
Chris,
There has previously been very robust debate about bands we all like/hate and are or are not bogan. Empire of the Sun and The Presets both were allocated as bogan.
Allegedly Luke Steele has earned the appellation of “Lord Gaga”.
Listen to an interview. The guy can hardly string a sentence together. This would appeal I think.
We need to keep in mind the ultimate Ribbon event, The Academy Awards. I keep waiting for a D grade celeb to show up wearing only strategically placed ribbons. Perhaps our own Sophie Monk.
Does the bogan keep their collection of coloured ribbons and wristbands to pull out at the same time the following year when the annual collect-a-thon is on?
By using the old ribbon or band, the bogan can look like they care to the maxtreme and have ‘donated’ to the very important issue that is close to their hearts (for all or 14 seconds) and wish to help raise bogan awareness of, without having to actualy open their wallet?
*Annual* collect-a-thon? I thought there was on a couple of days a year when one *wasn’t* likely to be bailed up by some kind of charity collector.
Sigh… I miss the old days, when one could just donate whatever one had upon their person at the time… now you’re expected to play host to all sorts of feel-good cash-lampreys.
Yes, I know this belongs in The Casino, and I did whack it there but, frankly, this is too pathetic to allow it to hide out in last week’s post.
Here we have Chief Spanker Warnie tweeting about how mean the nasty people on British Airways are being to him while he flies first-class for free to Vegas for….wait for it….the Up The Ante For Africa famine-busting poker tournament.
travel/news/shane-warne-in-british-airways-first-class-rant-on-twitter/story-e6frfq80-1225887844762
Thankfully, he clearly wasn’t wearing his lycra tatt sleeve. So much boganity at altitude would have torn the time/space continuum asunder.
D!ckhead.
Who else wishes that Warnie would just fuck off and stay fucked off? And Fevola for that matter…and Fevola’s ex-Mrs…and Daryl Somers…
and kyle sandilands…and everyone on dancing with the stars…
This could be a very long list.
it could be. of course, to come up with the list requires thinking about those who would be added to the list, so i think i’ll stop now rather than subject myself to that.
1. The chk chk boom oxygen thief;
2. The clown who hosted the out of control house party, with the fur and oversize sunnies (can’t remember his name)
3. Eddie McGuire
4. Both Johns Brothers
i’ll stop my “To be sent to count trees in Siberia” list there for now..
@ Antosha
1. Clare Werbeloff.
2. Corey Worthington
Know thy enemy. I simply remembered them as a consequence of The Chaser paying out on them mercilessly.
God, they’re such horrible people, aren’t they? Can’t we just strip them of their citizenship and send ’em off to Afghanistan or something?
Ahh Sten, conscription and the ‘good old days’ indeed!
Nah… no conscription for me – the very idea makes me livid. I’d just like to see those two horrible arch-bogues banished from this country, may they never darken our doorstep again.
I’d most gladly swap those two sad examples of misanthropy for two boatloads of asylum seekers, from Afghanistan and Sri Lanka.
Even in their wretched state—after enduring privations that’d break most of us—upon arrival, they’d be far less of a strain than that fine pair of Strayans. Once the refugees are resettled, imagine how much we have to gain as a society.
It’s more than a fair swap, I say.
Clare Werbeloff “…One of my friends and I just came out of the tatoo parlour…” need you say more?
Aww, what’d you have to do that for, TGA_W?
Now, now Sten, we are here to study, learn, share, ridicule, cynically deride…these are all this and so much more…
Sten, I can’aught believe that a pure class blog such as this doesn’t have these two on every page! C’mon dude! Must haves…
I agree Sten. Mine clearing duty in Afghanistan for these two…
immediately.
Hmpf. Too good for ’em. Flamethrower testing, maybe…
Sounds like an episode of Doctor Who. Quick Amy into your police uniform.
Poor darling. Try thinking of the poor Africans you’re supposed to be supporting. If they travel at all, it’s most likely in a stinking hot, overcrowded, unsafe bus or truck.
I can’t believe this piece of shit still makes the news.
I noticed that Warne said he wouldn’t fly again with BA “after” his free return flight. Wanker.
Probably couldn’t stand all those Pommie bastards, either.
Wanker?
Yob, more like.
Champagne work there, Turnips.
You’re really on a roll!
He’s fast becoming one of my favourite posters here, Tombarina, especially since seeing some of his work on The Worst of Perth. A caution to all us non-miners.
Thanks folks! (Blushes)
As much as certain aspects of living in the West lead me to despair, I don’t necessarily want to just run away.
Sometimes one has to maintain the rage and be a catalyst for change; it has to gain momentum from within, a slog as it is at times.
love to see a “Make Warnie History” wristband….
Seconded.
Is the piece against coloured ribbons per se or the wearing of them in an attempt to advertise the fact that you are so very caring? Because I am a soft touch for anyone tugging at my sleeve to buy something for a cause. So I have plenty of coloured ribbons. But I never wear them.
I do wish there was a better way of fund raising though, preferably one without landfill destined ribbons, badges, wristbands, lanyards et al.
SD, I think you nailed it there. The need to advertise that you support charity is where the Bogue part of the equation kicks in.
Simon,
spot on, I believe in giving to chareties anonomously. That way they don’t get to keep anoying me . My automatic response to nearly all other then the small number we can afford to support is “we have already given to our charity of choice.”
You do realise that a major aim of the ribbon/wristband/whatever is to raise awareness of an issue, right? That requires them to be worn.
TBL – tacking the big issues, like people participating in worthy causes.
Dude, read the article. It’s got f*ck all to do with issues and everything to do with Bogues self absorbtion.
the thing is they don’t really raise that much awareness anymore. i used to have a white make poverty history band when they were first available (it broke and they don’t make small size ones anymore so i never replaced it) and while early on i did get a few questions about it, as other causes brought them out and the non-cause ones that are just designed to look trendy became available very few people asked or cared about the purpose behind them anymore. as awareness raisers, they really lost their impact a few years back.
Peter, you do realise that the main point of “raising awareness of an issue” is about celebrities and their hangers-on (that is, bogans) being seen to be doing something about whatever their pet issue is, rather than actually doing something by donating a chunk of their actual wealth to go some way towards addressing the issue, don’t you? By taking the ribbon-wristband approach, they can do something without actually investing anything other than the $5 for the wristband and a few hours of their time to appear in the advertisement.
@ James AAI
I don’t think the “Celebs” pay for them at all. The charities just give them out.
Pathetic. I’d love to see Bono donate just the interest off all his money to Africa. Without claiming it back on tax. Bet he wouldn’t.
well seeing as all his money is in tax havens he doesn’t even pay tax.
PB
**bashes head against desk** Where do I start with how hypocritical that is?
“Peter, you do realise that the main point …..don’t you?”
No I don’t. The main point of the wristband (i.e. the reason charities/foundations run these campaigns, as opposed to your opinion) is to raise money and awareness. While some people/celebrities may wear them for selfish reasons, many people are simply participating in a worthy cause. Without knowing an individuals motivation, you are simply projecting your prejudice onto the Bogan.
“they can do something without actually investing anything other than the $5 for the wristband and a few hours of their time to appear in the advertisement.”
How do you know how much other work has gone into the cause? Are you suggesting it is Bogan to not donate substantial time and money?….what percentage of the population would actually do that? Is helping out a little not better than doing nothing at all?
You have far more faith in humankind than I do, Peter. Kudos to you for your lack of cynicism, sir.
James
(not me) I have a “New Scientist” shoulder bag with their motto on it
“Question Everything”. A result of an epiphany if you like in my high school years. The futility of trying to be understood by “teachers” who still had a power of learning to do .The philosophical incongruity of us being expected to learn words of wisdom from those who more often then not were speaking rote learned folk tales.
Our understanding of human kind is extensive but mostly wrongly interpreted. We are the most successful predator on the planet and to kill , make ware, lie, cheat are all qualities that have evolved as part of our survival techniques.
To sprout the “religious” or moralist views that mankind is a cxareing loving critter and that we all should want to be nice to each other is a false premis
Sure enough in the more “civilised ” societies the need to maim and kill to survive is passed but the same genetic past motivates us.
There for the capitalist creed of greed is to be expected and the utopian or communistic approach while it looks attractive is difficult to achieve. Always the bigger fish eat the small and the Eddie Amins and Ackack Dinner Jackets will grasp power.
So in the end no matter what we do the planet will survvive but human kind unable to control its population will consume all the oil all the metals all the fertilisers and then each other till we are gone.
LOL. It helps in ways that are both symbolic AND emblematic.
Peter OK
Dude, honestly your missing the point.
It’s not bogan to donate to charities. It’s awesome to donate to charities. But it’s the intent that is on trial here, not the act.
To do donate to charities because the celebs/friends do is Bogan. To donate because you believe in the cause is the opposite of that. The Bogan never thinks outside there own space or needs. They just follow along.
Have you forgotten that TBL is satirical?
TBL is Satirical?
“it’s the intent that is on trial here, not the act.”
Would you, or anyone else, like to substantiate that claim? How do you determine the Bogan’s intent, motivation or thought process (besides ‘TBL says so’)?
“Have you forgotten that TBL is satirical?”
I appreciate satire.
It is not even about donating to charities. It is about buying the wristband/ribbon in lieu of donating to charities.
For instance, I donate regularly to several charities of choice, despite my limited means (shut up, Fiona). I do not wear ribbons/wristbands proclaiming my support for said charities though, as the money I waste on them would be better spent on the charities themselves.
Do you see the difference, Peter?
I agree with you. However, your argument simply comes down to the idea that people should donate more (I don’t understand why you single out the Bogan).
I was under the impression that the point of this entire site was to single out the bogan.
Peter, I don’t think anyone is against charities per se or even the “attraction” mechanisms they use like bands. But I don’t think you can take the view that any one donating to a charity is by definition unmockable.
And it is quite clear as to what is the intent, motivation or thought process is isn’t it? It’s a bit like people buying pets because celebs have them or because they are trendy and then abandoning them when they are no longer in fashion. I.e. it isn’t because of any interest in the cause as much as a ribbon being trendy and making a statement. And once that happens more and more charities get on the bandwagon till even the water on sale is pink as an example. I would be highly dubious about any of it actually making a difference once that happens. At some point it all becomes show and no substance and I afraid that is driven by a bogan attitude (as pointed out here often its more a personality trait than a defined group per se).
Peter OK
Please read the next sentence carefully:
The intent would be that one chooses to don said ribbons/writs band for no other reason than a celeb and/or friends says so.
As for your quip about because “TBL says so”. Unlike the Bogan, I can think for myself . It’s a coincidence that I happen to agree.
Duded, you need to relax a little. You’re taking this WAY to seriously.
*Dude…I’m not sure where Duded came from but it gave me a giggle. Apologies Peter OK.
“Please read the next sentence carefully:
The intent would be that one chooses to don said ribbons/writs band for no other reason than a celeb and/or friends says so”
All you did was restate an unsubstantiated opinion. Please read carefully: I asked HOW you reached that conclusion. It should not be hard, but I am yet to see any rational reasoning, only prejudice.
I give up. Carry on…
LOL. Trying to get a rational, intelligent comment from the inaptly named “P!nky has a Brain” is akin to suggesting you can spend a quiet evening out in a club in Melbourne without being glassed by some bogan c*nt.
I agree James, it is tokenism basically…Reminds me of a plot line in ‘This Other Eden’ (Ben Elton) where rich people can avoid ecological collapse and planet death by buying a shelter called a claustrosphere and hiding out in it much like a nuclear bomb shelter in event of nuclear war. In this way these rich people who could afford a shelter didn’t have to attenuate their behaviour to AVOID ecological catastrophe, they simply kept doing whatever they did and bought a shelter. And the shelters manufacture in such quantities sped up the inevitable…wearing a wrist band doesn’t really achieve much other than bring 15 minutes of fame to an issue…the issue remains long after all the cameramen have gone off to enjoy some rum & cokes…LOLFiona will attest to 2 famines being staved off by global rock concerts but we still have the issues of starvation and poverty with us…The celeb is really trying to get some associated recognition of their ‘humanity’ and is trying to pass off a persona of sage like understanding of the modern condition in order to appear more caring with fans so their (celeb’s) stickiness increases and the celeb can sell more music, hair restoratives, consumer product etc.
Why do Al Gore and carbon offsets come to mind….
Anyone that really cares would be giving a ridiculous and significant portion of their wealth to causes that create solutions – Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are great examples…we all here are just snivelling hypocrites, as we certainly don’t give 50+ percent of our after tax take home to charities or worthy causes…and whatever minuscule amounts we do give, we darn well make sure we get the receipt to claim it off our taxable income (really this practice shifts the ‘giving’ to the collective tax payer so is questionable that it is actually giving) in fact I read some statistics somewhere a few days ago that Frankbogueston residents give more per capita than most inner suburban residents in Victoria (correct me if I’m wrong) so even WE are shown up in the face of this argument by our ugg boot clad, knuckle dragging, ute driving, Liquorland rum & ‘cola substitute’ swilling, faaakncaaant shouting, McMansion dwelling, water skiing, pig shooting, dirt bike racing, personal water craft riding, winnie blue/horizon smoking, hi-vis flouro vest wearing, chiko roll sucking, punchin-on…onning…bretheren…
…caaaant glassing…
Frankston gives more?
Maybe it only appears that way because they tell bigger porkies on their tax returns.
I think it’s about the fact that they first forego more substantial means of supporting a cause and only take interest it when it appeals to -their- desire for fashionable/attention-seeking items to purchase.
Bingo.
Not that it’s a ~terrible~ thing, I mean the majority of people are bogan to some degree (I know I am) and harnessing the bogan for the greater good could be a useful way to achieve something positive. Maybe.
I have some bogan factor. I laugh at it mostly. Say I’m going “Bogue-Polar” and need to see my shrink.
It seems to me that the pure bogan has to ruin everything. You can’t go anywhere without hearing Myshelle screaming at Brayedon and Crayden to “F@#king Stop it would yis or yis aren’t gettin’ macca’s for yer teeeeaaaaa”
Spew.
Bogue-polar…inspired! Is it possible to have a boganectomy? Cut that out which is bogan?
Not sure Genuine, I’m still working on the diagnosis notes.
I’m considering following the Bi-polar diagnostic pattern of
Bouge-polar I (full blown bogan)
Bouge-Polar II (Semi Bogan)
Bouge-Polar III (bogan tendencies)
So far my rough notes are hilarious (even if I do say so myself) and am refining them when I can. (bloody school holidays keeping me from my important work)
As this is a mental illness I’m not sure if cutting a bit of the brain will help. Must research!! LOL
Pinky,
Maybe if you could add a bit to the brain ? preferably brain cells of course !! I suppose in some cases one might have to add an entire brain though ?
@ JH
That’s what I was thinking. If there’s nothing to remove it’s pointless. As for adding brains. I’ve seen some interesting interesting studies on rats where they had some stem cells to a severed spine and grew new bridge enabling the rats to regain use of their legs. I think I should start up reserach into growing the bogan that part of the brain required to be rational human and possibly could cure Bouge-Polar.
Would you like to buy a ribbon or a wristband in order to help me continue my life saving work?
Pinkster,
I seem to recall that there is some female doctor in China doing the same thing with humans and achieving far better then random results.
interesting stuff
I had a dropped foot last year and yeh i know some get better and some dont ,but, i took a full dose of whey protine isolate (same stuff the Aust. Ins.of Sport use to treat muscleand cartlidge injuries) every day and used a piece of cord and a bit of wood and kept willing it to work while moving it mechanically in the directions required.. I now have 90 % lift in the foot 80% in the big toe and better then 50% in the other toes.
doctor is amazed and the ortho surgeon says it would be no better if he had operated . So I guess I am open to suggestions and welcome research so I will buy one of your bands.Do we have a choice of colours?
@ JH
That’s awesome results. Better to try and get those neurons and muscles working without surgical intervention. I had some excellent results using a similar technique with and elderly woman who had chronic retraction of the right hand and arm. I got her hand and forearm back to being able to hold a pen post stroke. Unfortunately she had a fall and broke and hand and arm. The cast was poorly fit and she ended up loosing the use of the arm. :( I used braces, bandages, massage, hydro therapy everything I could think of to get her brain to re-recognise her right arm and those muscles to relax.
Keep working at it JH, I highly recommend myotherapy. Works wonders not only for the muscles but the mind. AND it’s secular so no fear of being attacked by a Religitard. ;)
Wide range of colours of choice of course. We have a TBL Commentators offer of Buy One and Pinky makes you a guilt free coffee.*
*Only to the TBLers that I like. Dot, I don’t like you.
Pinky,
The nutrition thing is important too As you know we do not synthasise amino acids and as to build new tissue we must have all of them ordinary dietary intake wont necissarily do the job. This is the idea behind the Aust Ins of Sports using the suppliment . The Best that I have found is Muashi 92 which is a hybrid of whey protine isolate and soy protine isolate and a couple of extra amino acids added.
A number of better chemist keep or can get. Sports Nutrition shops have it or similar. I like that one because the vanilla tastes ok and it mixes easily.
Dont worry , no carbs and no sugars .
Any person who is in a state of nutritional stress would benifit from it as would any one recovering from surgery or injuries.
Tell me what you think.
@ JH
Diet is absolutely a key ingredient. We used a lot of supps in the biz. I thought that was a given. ;) I think what I was trying to say is that it’s important to tackle these things from all angles. IMHO medicine is too quick to whip you open and not at least try to build the body back up first. Surgery should always be last option (obviously there are some situations that require immediate ops).
A holistic approach is what I always recommend. I say look after your brain (omega 3,6,9), your heart (omega 369) and your gastro (inner health plus daily). Nothing like the old digestive/gastro working well to make you feel better. A good diet will do more for a person than a large amount of pharmacology.
I am on a fair bit of medication, but I take the minimum of each, why over do it now, when I might need it later.
Poly-pharmacy is at “epidemic” levels. Most doc’s will whip off a script before recommending say increased clear fluids for constipation.
Have a look at this and THEN tell me the bogan can be harnessed for anything other than gonnagetazsumtinniesdowntheburvyazgotwinnies? = Going to get us some tinnies (cans of beer) at the ‘Burv’ale Hotel do you have winnies (Winfield cigarettes)?
…bogue is as bogue does…”…I dindoo nuffink…I dindoo anyfink…I’m pregnant mate…” an instant classic! And if you watch closely towards the end you can actually see her drop the act and alert the loss preventer that they were being filmed! Classic showmanship! And th
Oh my
I live not far from there. (Shut up Fiona) :S
Or this classic from the archives…
That kmart theft video is just sad. But since we’re sharing youtube bogan favourites, this one would be rather hard to top:
Pure class Will…can’t get enough of those trailing pitched strane sounds that increase in pitch as they trail off…just beautiful matey!
I bet you’ve been too the Burv plenty of times TGAW.Buying jugs instead of pots on student nights too get a bit more beer for your buck,washed down with a big bowl of chips and gravey ha ha.
‘The Clyde’ was more my bag Brad, but I must say, the Mexican fries were the duck’s nuts in my day…
Splendid examples of citizenry.
These are the same ones complaining about immigrants rooning the social fabric of this fine country?
Rooning! That’s gold right there Mick! Pure 24k…
Awesome.
Yes Troit, truly wondrous examples of bogans in their natural habitat…the video entitled ‘Bogan Fight’ is from (unconfirmed) a particular ritual called ‘mothers day’ where the bogan pack congregates around the female bogan that has given birth to all the feisty younger bogans that they may celebrate their ancestral bogan mothers, their creation and place in the bogan lineage by consuming vast quantities of Liquorland rum beverages diluted with cola substitutes (often served in ‘massive cans’) and meat products cooked by open flame. They then proceed to celebrate their kinship with the ‘faaakn-caaaaant’ ritual – calling each other a ‘faaakn-caaaaant’ and affirming their place in the pack with the dominance ritual of ‘punching on’.
The way to get something productive out of bogan caaarns is to hitch all their arms and legs to pulleys and ropes that drive gears and turbines and get them to all punch on, provide plenty of Liquorland brand bourbon diluted with cola substitutes to keep them hydrated, as many winnie blues/peter jackson blue/horizons as they can suck down for their prodigious smokos and harness their feeble fighting actions to generate electricity…
Is there a ribbon for preventing bogan child abuse?
world/georgia-couple-who-gave-their-six-children-homemade-tattoos-face-cruelty-charges/story-e6frfkz0-1225888030710
I have found myself wearning plastic ribbons around my wrist on three occasions:
1. In hospital
2. At an all inclusive resort in Turkey. (Compulsory office training event)
3. Heineken beer factory tour
On all 3 occasions, removal of the plastic band was swift upon the cessation of activities.
Geez… numbers 2 and 3 sound particularly bogan don’t they!
ALAS !!!
I recall wearing one at the National Folk Festival the last several years. Cost me a lot more than $5 though…
Being in hospital can be bogan if you were admitted for injuries sustained during either dirt-bike or jet ski riding, a car accident caused by hooning, overdosing on last years designer drug, doin’ ya back in (especially if done when lifting your plasma TV), or by glassing.
Don’t forget the pig shooting accident…
The international clinics here love to rort the insurance companies. So one day I go to the doctor with an upset belly, next thing you know, after they checked my insurance coverage – I am admitted.
So there I was, in my own room, with balcony, ensuite, big screen TV, lounge etc.. for ‘observation’ and ‘further tests’. The fact I felt fine after lying down for 2 hours was not relevant. They finally said I was ok to be checked out after spending 3 days there. Enjoy that bill insurance company!
Needless to say, I have had worse days in my life! Ringing a little buzzer ‘more apple juice please… and maybe some icecream?’ And what’s for breakfast tomorrow? Spasibo!
Antosha,
if they looked after you like that maybe “Spacibo Tebe” would have been more appropriate. If my recollection serves me
A mate I worked with came to visit me … I was propped up in bed eating ice cream and watching a Man U game on the big screen… he took one look around and asked “what do I need to do to get a bed here for a few days?”
And in response to your request:
today’s Russian 101:
большое вам спасибо
Balshoye vam spasibo
Thank you very much.
Antosha,
Appologies, I thought the tebe was for “close” friends ?
Could very well be young Mr Hunter.. could very well be..
I usually just say ‘pasibo’ (dropping the 1st S like a true local).
I’ll consult with Mrs Antosha and revert.
anyway.
I was just musing to my beloved Edna that I sort of liked the idea of Julia Gillard (as premier femme PM )taking the leadership in a sort of “agressive” move as they’re suggesting on QandA right now, and it occurred to me it would be great to see the (particularly recent) history of the Labour Party dne in “Underbelly” style…
Barry Jones puts in the call to Richo, he calls the boys at the ACTU and CFMEU & AWU boys are going to the local sitting members, phone calls, BBQs, carparks, strippers…
Chubby,
An excellent idea but I feel it could be improved by expanding it to include the recent leadership “exchanges ” in the Liberals as well.
The sceens could flip flop from labour to liberal drawing the unsavory paralells between the two parties and detailing the similarities in personalities and morality
Yes excellent distinction jon, the showgan deserves a category all their own although I don’t believe they meet the strict definitional criteria of bogan given their low earning potential and lack of tradie skills and socio-economic wherewithall to procure rum in quantity, utes, McMansions, dirt bikes, ski boats, high powered semi-automatic rifles and personal water craft…the accoutrement de riggeur of the genuine bogue…
Apologies, this post needed to be placed below jon’s…tad too much cab sav I’m afraid…
I posit, Sten, that the showgan is infact a precursor to the modern day bogan. A nomadic, (see their caravan-caravan parked behind the ferris wheel and merry-go-round) shamanistic (see them hit the little yellow duck targets with the dodgy air rifle that intentionally doesn’t shoot straight) tribal bogan that may well represent the bogan evolutionary ‘missing link’ that bridges the colonial/convict evolutionary lineage with the pre-contemporary old skool bogan…evolutionarily it is like the crocodile or the shark that evolved to master it’s environment, out-evolved it’s natural predators and didn’t need to evolve any further and so remained at an evolutionary plateau…
Yep did it again…cab sav all gone now…;*{
Very interesting… the bridge, as it were, between British convicts and Aussie Bogans. A kind of Bogan Homo Erectus, as it were.
I must find out when the next such “show” will be on in my area, so I can attend (camouflaged by the flanno I’m buying tomorrow for use at the 80s party I’m attending on the weekend, no less!), carefully observe, and take notes.
Watch this space…
Boganus Erectus? Yes of course!!
Absolutely inspired old boy!
Thanks mate, I have learned well during my time here.
Don’t forget to take along the juice of conviviality – ‘Bundy’ is quite well recognised, and ‘Dark Circle’ or such…and be sure you dilute it with cola substitutes ands serve it in massive cans and you will be accepted as one of their own…
See, here’s where the line blurs a little for me. I do enjoy my rum, and can drink it all night.
The only problem is that Bogans can pick me for a spy the second I open my mouth…
I’m kinda-sorta with you on this, Sten. I, too, have been known to imbibe a warming rumbo on occasion. And, back in the day, I was rather good at it, too.
I put this down to having been born and bred in the bush, where Fruit’o’th’Bear is a dietary staple.
Kind folk, there is no shame in swapping a wonderfully oaky 8 year old Clare Valley cab sav for the occasional night of brown spirit, so long as it is done for the right reasons…
I suppose I got into Fruit’o’th’Bear (not as cool as your other one, Fruit’o’th’Pillow, which I have been using of late, but still cool) because sometimes I wanted to drink something besides beer. I don’t like white spirits, never developed a taste for Bourbon, and am really fussy when it comes to Scotch. That only really left Rum. I haven’t looked back, but am keen to try some Pussers (English Admiralty Rum) or even try my hand at distilling some myself.
Aaaahh…thy knowest my fondest of elixirs, the highland single malt…
I remember when a friend of mine came back from the UK/Europe. He brought back two bottles of whisky. One cost 3 Euro and was from a Tesco in France. I honestly thought I was going to die after I tried that. The other was this:
http://www.bladnoch.co.uk/acatalog/8_year_old_Bladnoch.html
Very, very nice. Just a sniff was like New Years’. I highly recommend it, though not being an expert on whisky, I’m not too sure how much respect I would get for saying that.
Despite extensive therapy to help me forget, I can’t block out the memory of a particularly heinous rum which did the rounds in the early 90s. Beenleigh Rum, I think.
Someone turned up at a party with a bottle as a gift for the host. After a whiff, they promptly regifted it.
That single bottle of liquefied nuclear waste did the rounds of Western Qld for more than 15 years before it was ceremoniously emptied onto someone’s lawn. The resultant dead patch took years to grow over. *shudder*
And they say Bundy’s bad….
Beenleigh ey? Yes that is most definitely a Liquorland brand…let me check…aarrgghhhhh…
My god! Quick, a treasure trove!!!
HAS ANYONE STOPPED TO SEE THIS?
http://www.liquorland.com.au
Still waiting to see an example of “Maxtreme” used in irony-free in marketing somewhere.
I didn’t even think they made Beenleigh anymore.
Evidently I’m mistaken.
Thats funny. I thought “fruit o the pillow” was something quite different.
Yeah, it is, James, I just like Fruit’o’th’Pillow better than Fruit’o’th’Bear.
Sten,
I figured most get bare to get fruit o the pillow !
See my earlier post near the bottom of the about sections here for some direction…
http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/about/?replytocom=36843#respond
Let’s not forget replacing ‘ing’ with ‘ink’ as in nuffink (nothing), statue of limitations (yes done elsewhere I know), youz instead of you (youz all know nuffink), swapping ‘nuclear’ for ‘nookula’ (youz all no nuffink bout ‘nookula’ power yaz carntz), referring to groups as packs (youz pack ov caaaarntz) pronouncing an ‘ah’ sound stemming from the letter a in the word as a ‘aarh’ (faaarkin caaaarntz), creating compound words starting and/or ending in ‘ya’ instead of ‘you’ or ending in carnt (yarcaaarnt) and (yafaaaarkincaaarntz I’ll glaaarssyazall ya caaaarntz)…working on some more…not too hard to do, just overhear some ‘conversations’ at something like the Burvale hotel…
A few more…
The swapping of phonemes such as the ‘i’ sound with the ‘ee’ sound when pronouncing my or replacing the ou with the ar or az eg you becomes yar or yaz – eg wherz mee faaarkn winnies (smokes/cigarettes) didyaz see’em?
Dropping or making redundant certain phonemes as in ‘i dindoo (didn’t do) nuffink’…or ‘i dindoo at (it) yar faaarkncaaarn let me go yar faaarkncaaarn…’
The creation of more compound words eg ‘watcha lookinat yadummfaarkncaant?’ or lemmeego yafaaaarkncaaarn or faaark’n’geh’ovmee yaaar faaarkn caaan I dinwannafaaarkyar…yacaaarn…hey brendan…geh’im’offovmee…
I think you get the gist of it…will post some more when I recall some more…
Previous post was an attempt to assit Sten in the opening of the mouth issue…
“The only problem is that Bogans can pick me for a spy the second I open my mouth…”
@ Sten
Pretend you’re deaf? Just make up sign language as you go. That way you wont have to speak.
Does the Bogan fear outsiders? I guess they don’t question much so probably not. ;)
Only if said outsider is a person of colour, gay, muslim, overtly intellectual or any combination thereof.
These things can be hidden. Bogan Camouflage. Pretend your deaf, don a Bogan Camo, and watch. BAHAHAHAHA The footage would be better than the Kmart one.
Roaming free where the family supplements (parts A & B) and benefits are most plentiful…
There’s definitely something weird going on regarding collation of the replies… I don’t think cab sav expalins it, as I haven’t had a drink since Friday and it (WordPress, I assume) screwed up a couple of my comments.
Good topic. Really touches on a key issue; plumage variants and there purposes.
It could perhaps be summed up most fittingly by a Baz Luhrmann reproduction of an Andrew Lloyd Webber classic:
“Jaaiyden and the Amazing Fluoro-Colour Work-Vest”
Surely no article about charity adornments can be complete without mention of the Lance Armstrong Livestrong bracelets?
LOL. And not a Fiona LOL. A genuine LOL. Thanks, Westurbia.
Yes that Fiona lol is rather tiresome…the pleasure is all mine, you are most welcome…
You get use to her Genuine. ;)
I heart ribbonz!!
Aaah yes…the “it’s cool to care” craze sweeping developed nations. The “caring” is, however, of course limited to the purchase of a cheap yet immediately recognisable trinket.