It worked. For the second election year in a row, a lobby group booted the Prime Minister by convincing the bogan that its constitutional right to get rich easy was under threat. While it was the unions in 2007 pillorying Workchoices, the mining industry in 2010 nobly found itself willing to spend tens of millions of dollars on ads to save tens of billions of dollars on tax. With the ALP’s re-election prospects worsening by the day, the party booted its technocrat leader. A leader who sometimes didn’t speak English, and was allegedly threatening the bogan’s entitlement to make $150k per annum for holding a stop sign in a hole somewhere near Kalgoorlie.
In his place was installed Julia Gillard. With a strong background in both the union and maxtreme justice dispenser Slater & Gordon, the bogan is intended to feel that its unconvincingly stated intention of going to work in the mines is safe. Safe from a tax that it has not actively sought to understand, but knows that it does not like. Another key benefit of Gillard’s ascension to PM is the bogan’s vastly increased capacity to pass ginger jokes off as political analysis. After identifying that Kevin Rudd looked somewhat like Tintin, the bogan’s content ran dry, and it was forced into silence. No longer. With a deeper arsenal of ginger jokes derived from Summer Heights High, The Footy Show, and its friends, the bogan can now extend an unflattering analysis of its leader’s physical appearance well out past 20 seconds. Immediately upon her appointment, it trawled the internet for web pages entitled ‘ranga joke of the day’, then bookmarked it to provide fodder for its workplace joke-telling. The bogan likes this.
While the last couple of decades have made women in politics less remarkable, the bogan still cannot help itself. With comments more thinly veiled than Janet Jackson’s right breast during Super Bowl XXXVIII, bogans have availed themselves of AM radio talkback shows to share insights such as “if she’s never run a household, how can she run a country?”.
Whether the bogan will vote for Gillard is a different question. More likely, this new twist in an already circuitous pre-campaign campaign is likely to provide the bogan with ample opportunity to say things it believes are profound, without requiring any knowledge or offering any insight. It will say things like “I’m not sure if Australia’s ready to vote for a woman”, blissfully unaware that, in a parliamentary democracy, it has no capacity to vote for Julia Gillard (unless it lives in the admittedly bogan loci of Melton or Hoppers Crossing). In the bogan booth, however, the bogan will pause, concerned about the prospect of being told what to do by a women…
Whether applicable in this instance or not, the bogan’s homophobia infiltrates much of its mindset. Despite the cheap shots on offer, and his self-confessed fear of homosexuality, the Coalition knows that Tony Abbott needs to stay away from gender and sexuality in the coming months. He will face a new task; breaking the balls of someone who was born without them, and looking chivalrous all the while. Bogan Bribe Watch could not have asked for anything better.
Scapegoat Score: 6 shadowy powerbrokers out of 10
UPDATE:
Having had a few days in office to start talking policies, our new PM has engaged in some classic, textbook bogan baiting. She has told the denizens of western Sydney and Melbourne (specifically) that she is philosophically disposed against ‘a big Australia’. The bogan interprets this as a PM who will do her utmost to prevent more towelheads arriving on our shores in a flotilla of bomb-laden rafts. She will negotiate with the miners on the resource rent tax, a tax that the bogan despises despite being unaffected by it and unaware of what it actually is. And she has relentlessly and enthusiastically joined the bogan in tossing around as many hastily-conceived rednut jokes as can be sloppily crammed into a content-free policy statement.
Let’s add a couple of bonus shadowy powerbrokers to our earlier assessment. Julia knows the importance of the bogan vote, and will stop at nothing to get it.
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It will certainly be interesting to see how the Libs handle this in their campaign ads particularly. Some cutting insights there, TLB.
So what was yesterday’s mood at Parliament House, James not H?
I got a distinct feeling of fear amongst the Liberals SD. The feeling seems to be that they had a solid campaign strategy all planned out, and had not been expecting this change. TBL has hit on a sentiment I found amongst the Libs as well, that panning Gillard will be much harder than was the case with Rudd, and that Abbott in particular may not have the diplomatic skill when speaking (unscripted) in public to navigate that minefield. No talk of a leadership change for the Libs at this stage, though.
Quite a few friends of mine from the public service were hanging around, and for the most part they found the events to be quite invigorating, now that Gillard is talking about pursuing the climate change legislation again, and is looking at privileging other issues important to the left. Overall, it was a mixture of (almost) jubilation from the ALP and quiet uncertainty (bordering on fear) amongst the Libs.
That is my analysis, in any case.
Thanks James!
I did hear speculation around my workplace that Malcolm Turnbull may be back.
Good god, that would put Jesus to shame, a comeback of those proportions.
That hard eh :-)
James not H
Would it be a poor move on the Libs part to have a change of leadership?
I am torn over that P!nky. I think that Abbott’s leadership is a real turn off for many voters, and this is reflected in the polling where his proportion of preferred prime minister lags well behind the two party preferred and primary votes. Turnbull would probably help to arrest this.
However, if the Libs go with an “ALP is unstable” election strategy, then a change at this point could hurt them very badly.
On balance, I think it would hurt the Libs marginally less to just stick with Abbott, and thus changing leadership now would be a poor move. That said, staying with the current leader is a poor move as well, just slightly less poor than changing.
@ James not H,
Thanks. I think it would be a mistake putting Turnball back in, given that he was only booted a short time ago.
They’re kinda fucked either way, I think. If they go with ‘the ALP is unstable’ approach, it would be pointed out that they’ve had four leaders in as many years; Who are they to talk about unstable? Etc.
Sticking with Abbott and trying to be conservative as anything while basically calling the ALP communists could possibly work, but would alienate women.
The debates will be interesting. I’d say the worm should come back, but, well, there is a Tony Abbott in the piece, and one worm’s enough.
I decided a while back that I wont be voting either major party. I was considering voting greens and then I saw that chick on Q&A and can’t say I was impressed.
But there is little choice left until Vivi stages his up-rising.
That would make him our Andrew Peacock (Keatings Lazarus) of the new Millenium.
Even my leftie/smart friends are making redhead jokes. I don’t get it… we don’t have a red head stigma in the States
i’m ready to follow a redhead anywhere, honestly
Amy Pond for PM!
> Amy Pond for PM!
In her police outfit please.
She is the best looking redhead since, well not sure really, maybe our Nic!
Do I have to stop saying Better Dead than Red now?
Viv,
not if you mean it ?
Brimstone,
Just because we make jokes about them does not mean that there is a stigma attached.
Once again ,you need to look closely at the fundamental differences between USA and AUSIE humour.
Ours is much closer to the UK humour but the social mores and customes are still at times so different as to be diametrically opposite.
More then happy to elaborate or elucidate any time you wish to contact me privately.
Oh and by the by I dont realy hate yanks, or poms or irish or aussies or any particular nationality or religious or ethnetic group. Just some of the things that some of any group either stand for , perport to stand for or are thought( actually or mistakenly) to stand for. !!
Hey TBL, how can you a story about Gillard without mentioning her former role as a lawyer and subsequently partner of Slater & Gordon?
Powerful point. TBL
Ted E,
Not just a lawyer for S&G but a Partner. so i guess that means she is no idiot. That would be what makes it hard for her to fit in in parliment.
Well after her work at S&G as well Union involvement, it means she has a lot of experience dealing with rabid bogans. She knows their weaknesses (of which there are so many) as well as when to say nothing to appease the bogan. More often than not, young boguie just wants to be heard. Let him have his rant, nod your head and then walk away. Dont make any promises or deals with them – they just want to have a whinge and show you how much they how pollertics.
Welcome back BTTOW.
True Mr Hunter.
I understand a non-idiot hasn’t been seen walking the halls of the House since Mr Keating checked out.
That was in the days before the firm became the magnet that it is today for those who seek maxxxtteme legal representation.
Not to mention her radical socialist background.
“I’m not sure if Australia’s ready to vote for a woman”, blissfully unaware that, in a parliamentary democracy, it has no capacity to vote for Julia Gillard (unless it lives in the admittedly bogan loci of Melton or Hoppers Crossing).
my friend called me on this… i said i voted for Rudd, not Gillard, and he pointed out that i didn’t vote for Rudd either. still wrapping my head around it
Brimstone,
Dont worry, your a yank so we expect you to be an idiot. However the Aussie Bogan simpley missed out on the history classes because he was at work experience learning how to hold a lollypop.
‘your a yank so we expect you to be an idiot’
Oh, James Hunter, you’re an idiot so “we” expect little else from you.
Thats because you voted for the labour party . That how Australian politics work, its not like the U.S.
You’re not voting for the individual, you are voting for the party. Doesn’t matter who is PM, since so many dipshits voted for labour we are stuck with whoever they decide is going to “win” them more votes when it comes to re-election time.
Maybe consider that next time you vote :)
“You’re not voting for the individual, you are voting for the party. ”
so I’m the only one who told my overseas music nerd friends that i got to vote for the lead singer of Midnight Oil? (i lived in Maroubra)
that was fun
The wonders of the Westminster system.
Indeed James, the wonders of the Westminster System. However, our version of it, I believe actually works a little better than the original…but that’s for another debate…
The Parliamentary Parties are a little democracy within themselves, to which all other citizens are excluded; it is the decision on the Parliamentary Party to choose their leader, who will by default (if a member of the major parties) become the PM or Leader of the Opposition.
Like viv, it makes my blood boil when some ignoramus says “I didn’t vote for Gillard, I voted for Rudd!” The only people in Australia who voted for Kevin Rudd are those who live in his electorate. They voted for him to be their Member of Parliament. The fact he came PM was down to the fact that the Labor Party elected him as their leader. That’s the system, and as a citizen and voyer, you have to accept the fact that the PM you ‘voted’ for may not be the PM forever due to the decisions of the other MP’s in the PM’s party.
For the morons who dislike the fact that they did not ‘vote’ for Gillard, don’t worry in a few months time, you can ‘vote’ for Tony Abbott!
voter, not voyer
All good and well Nelson Esq,but you must admit this turn of events does somewhat make the Primeministership a position up for grabs for the “most likley too succeed at this point in time”,.This is not Ancient Rome here where you can auction of the crown too the highest bidder,this is our representive of our Island.It stinks of arrogance and a total lack of respect for fair play,which is what our society is about.Labor will regret this.
Thanks TBL ! The next person who tells me “but we didn’t vote for her” is getting a beating. You didn’t vote for Kevin either you f#cking imbecile. You voted for your local member, he/she voted for Kevin. I think i’ve heard this erroneous complaint at least 4 times since lunchtime yesterday!
BTW Brimstone, i’m not calling you an imbecile, i wrote that before i saw your comment :)
Technically true but most parties do go into election with some indication of who the PM will be and people do vote on the basis of who is fronting the party. Kevin 07 was after all ubiquitous during the election. Then again that is not a promise that there will be Kevin10.
But JG was also up the front of the 07 race and it was clear that she would be Deputy. Everyone knows that when a PM goes down, for whatever reason, the Deputy usually takes control. So even following that logic and ignoring the technicalities, it’s not like she appeared out of nowhere and wasn’t heard of before.
That’s correct vivisection. I am not questioning Gillard’s right to be PM. I just wanted to say that yes people elect parties but personalities also play a role.
It’s a miracle Kevin got in at all if it works on personality ;)
:-) I didn’t mean that kind of personality!
Kevin 07 always sounded like a Ben 10 villain
but thanks for clearing everything up. i understand this intellectually but viscerally i’m still stuck in the ‘i voted for Rudd’ mindset
oddly enough i used this scenario (Gilliard replacing Rudd) to explain the Westminster system to Mom
of course, i’m sick of telling people that i didn’t vote for Obama because the system of electoral votes means my state would have elected him anyway….
@ Brimstone
I laughed so hard when I saw the new follow on from Ben 10 is Kevin E Leven. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
But I didn’t vote for Kevin and my local member didn’t vote for Kevin or Julia. That’s because my local member is from the Liberal Party.
Just like I had no choice about sitting through way too many years of the Howard Govt. Each shall have their turn.
I could have voted for the current Treasurer… but abstained in 2007. Too bloody hard to work out how to do it from here.
I didn’t vote for Julia either. I live in her electorate but I just drew some underpants on my ballot paper.
PPP
If all you could draw on your ballotr paper 9is underpants then you deserve to get asholes ?
Democracy needs its citizens to vote otherwise we will end up wit a system where you can not vote. Maybe that is what you would prefer ?
Think on that.
I particulaly liked the bit about, ”if she can’t run a household…” Gold. Australian politics, it just gets more and more interesting…
If shes never run a household how could she run a country ?
It is amazing is it not? the disconnect that allows a bogan to make a statement like that while oblivious to the fact that not only all the men in politics but the bogan himself havent run a household ?
Does this make all male politicians incompetant? does it make the bogan incompetant ?
No wonder they need a six pack or two after a hard days lollypop holding.
Even more interesting is the opinion of the bogan when a woman who has had children decides to return to the workforce. At that point it becomes, well, all you’ve done is run the house for the last 10 years, we need someone with experience…..
@ JH
It’s the hired spin doctor’s need to set some kind of doubt in the Bogan mind. Remember JH the Bogan loves It’s family values.
Some comedy gold from that pinnacle of journalistic integrity, the Illawarra Mercury: http://bit.ly/douTYr
Laugh? I nearly did.
Oh deary me….
Rich pickings indeed TBL.
My crystal ball predicts:
Tony Abbot actually exploding on the floor of the chamber during question time.
Barnaby Joyce and Wilson Tuckey being locked in a large steel box,
and
Julie Bishop contemplating a sex change.
In no particular order.
Edna,
Did you see the exchange between gillard and julie hickup ?
Hickup asks, how do you feel about knifing your leader ?
Gillard says Julie hickup your question should be how do you like serving your THIRD leader . Ka boom tish
jh, i giggled until ..?time finished from that response lol!
CM,
I think that the liberals sending hicup to bat against Gillard is like sending someone to a gun fight with a knife.
The Libs just need to let the bogan know one thing.
If Gillard wins the election they will be forced to trade their HSVs in for Trabants or Yugos. That’s how they roll in commie land.
Forza the Democratic Socialist People’s Working Families Commonwealth of Rangas.
I do think that JG will have to try twice as hard to be perceived as half as good by the bogan element in politics (and outside it!) To give Kevin his due, he did manage to save Australian from the strife that is threatening to eat up the US and Euro economies. It sounds to me that his “imperious” ways have finally caused the split. I just wonder, though, if the same cohorts won’t try to pull one on JG if she missteps along the way…guess we wait and see.
Sorry Miss Dahl but I don’t think Rudd had much to do with us surviving the financial shitstorm. He inherited a well run economy and would have had to work hard to completely blow it. Little Johny and his mates had faults but running the economy into the ground was not one of them.
Rudd has paid the price for believing his own publicity. We Aussies love nothing more than popping someone’s bubble and Kevs was very overinflated.
The problem with Kevin was the he had stopped standing for anything. I had become incredibly disillusioned with what Kevvy was all about.
Yeh, not sure he ever really stood for anything in his heart of hearts, he just won by pointing at Liberal and saying “bad”. Plus the electorate “just felt it needed a change”.
He stood for many things at the outset. That’s why he was Australia’s most popular PM. He became too busy living up to his image to continue to stand for anything.
I had a couple of drinks in his honour last night. And I shed a tear or two with the poor bastard yesterday. Kevvy was Ok.
Well, you see I’m not really sure Rudd truly stood for them. He was pretty happy to abandon things when the going got hard or it wasn’t popular. Not much follow through in Rudd in my opinion.
Spot on. Simon. The Howard governmet, while being morally bankrupt, took a floundering economy and turned it into one of the most robust in the world.
When the GFC hit, we had low debt, a strong banking sector, plenty of cash in the kitty and a resources sector that kept bringing in the $$$. Not at all comparable to the US or the over extended European economies.
All Rudd did was hit the panic button and pissed our hard earned against the wall.
I hope Gillard is more fiscally responsible than KRudd. Her backing by the Labor right is cause for optimism on that front. However, with her Socialist background I fear she may be just as bad if not worse.
Hthe B,
What are you smoking?
Can I have some ?
Unless it is Austrian Cabbage.!
no you can’t have some. show some enterprise and grow your own.
same old pinkos, always begging.
Same old capitalists think they can take it with them.
guess that goers with the religitard bit.
Henry, you’re a good beagle. Ignore JH, bloody libtard.
The only reason Dollar Sweetie Peetie had managed to avoid defecit was that he privatised debt. Instead of the nation carrying the can, we’ve got ourselves up to the gunwales in record personal debt during the Howard-Costello era.
That’s what fuelled the neoliberal agenda; that they hitched individualism onto it gave it a seductive sheen. In doing so, there was a shift away from the public provision of infrastructure and services to PPPs and private sector, which is then subject to the profit motive. Fine for some things, but not so great for the essentials and natural monopolies. In due course, these shifted assets were run into the ground, ergo the billions required to remedy this failed economic ideology.
Socialise the losses and privatise the profits was their modus operandi and that’s how we had no deficit. A mug’s game and most of are dragged along into it in massive personal debt, exacerbated by asset speculation and the false “wealth effect” that some benefit from, in turn creating a highly conflicted self-interest in a nervy electorate.
You’re being deliberately ignorant then. It’s a mathematical fact.
If you subtract the stimulus from GDP over the period in question, Australia would have suffered a contraction (IOW a recession)
Matt, not saying the economy did not need stimulation, just that Rudd did not go about it in a responsible manner. I think more of a panic throw money at it than true planning for the future. Look at the insulation thing. In all possability a reasonable idea but the implementation, what a f*ck up.
I don’t think the insulation thing was really the f*ck up it was portrayed to be. There’s always been fires as a result of insulation. The fact that there were a whole lot more insulated homes because of the scheme obviously leads to more mishaps.
Shirl, I am thinking more the rorting and pure mismanagement. Bit like the school program. Great idea but so much money has been ripped off by unsupervised tradies, or building just to get the money spent, that the opportunity for true long term gain has been compromised. It is a shame I think.
I’ll concede that the concept was a bit rushed, and should have been thought out some more, but then there would be cries of ‘less talk, more action’. I just think the libs and the media smashed this particular scheme like a pinata, when it didn’t really deserve it.
I will go with the pinata bit but I think where people got lost by Rudd was that he would not protect the pinata with his body but shove some poor underling in to take the blows for him. There was no plan to fix it, just blame other people and abandon it like an abused Austrian Cabbage.
shirley some contractors in my electorate are still owed 75k and protested by throwing batts on canberra houses lawn
Simon the rorting cant be blamed on the socialists in canberra.
The blame for that lies in the capitalist doing the work
let business supervise business ? well thats what Fony Rabbit would do but no he says mre contreoll is needed ? how when he says he stands for small government ?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Pass the metho or a cabbage.
Sorry JH, you lost me a bit there.
Imagine the amplitude and odour of the belch that would emanate from ingesting both cabbage and methylated spirits.
You certainly wouldn’t want to strike a match or lighter in close vicinity!
It wasn’t.
When you look at historical averages for safety and house fires associated with insulation installation, then stack it up against the mad flurry of activity around the rebate scheme, safety performance was actually better.
There have always been, and will always be, Dodgy Bros operators who don’t train people well. The rate of fires and deaths was actually disproportionately low – it was just crammed into a tighter timeframe and madly politicised.
re:THE INSULATOR…http://www.polliefillers.com.au/page2.html
Matt , sounds like you have studied economics. The only subject for which you can gfet a degree with out ever studying facts. so if you opinions are bassed on the study of failed theroies then im sure some one , may be Fony Rabbit will listen
Riduling someone for the study of ‘failed theories’ within minutes of quoting Karl Marx.
You’re a funny dude Jimbo, thanks for making my day.
Are you claiming that maintaining a budget surplus would have kept us out of recession?
Frazer,
There are even some “out there” who believe in creationism !!
Should be called cretinism , how any one with a brain can believe the world is only 6,000 years old never fils to amaze me.
Withe regard to econonics any one who believes economists understand what will happen in the future probably also believe in the tooth fairy.
I recomend you read “Black Swans” by Nassim Nicholas Taleb also his “Fooled by Randomness”
Then if you can get your head round it anything you can find on “Matrix Theory ” and its implications for economic forcasting.
These are the things that “Economists should look towards rather then convincing the uneducated that their failed theories still hold water.
After that we can address the madness that the WTO perpetuates. That free trade will make every one and every country better off. Even now with olmost every developed country in the world in debt they havent seen the light.
(diety of your choice) help us.
@Brimstone: I’ve had a little bit of trouble explaining how we can change leaders mid-term to my American friends as well. I explained it like thus: “Imagine if the Democratic caucus in Congress was worried about Obama’s performance at the next election, and they removed him from the White House and replaced him with Nancy Pelosi.” They still didn’t get it, and digging myself deeper into a hole by going into the nuances of a Parliamentary system and how we don’t actually vote directly for the PM just made things worse. I admit though that it’d be hard for Americans to get their head around. It’s hard enough for many Australians to get their head around!
Anyway, I think Julia will be better in terms of capturing the bogan vote. As TBL have stated before, the bogan is deeply anti-intellectual, and a PM who says things like “detailed programmatic specificity” confuses the bogan, the poor things.
Julia is off to a flying start. Her first press conference as PM yesterday was full of the old bogan-baiting lines – “working families” (Christ how I hate that shibboleth!), “hard-working parents” and “rewarding those who work the hardest, not those who complain the loudest” (nothing about the half-million unemployed or the retired or the disabled). The bogan shall approve.
I have had similar issues attempting to explain that our executive is drawn from the legislature, rather than being chosen through direct elections. I find that many of my American friends are not aware of the difference between legislature and executive to begin with. Something to do with the way they teach civics across the pond, I think.
“As TBL have stated before, the bogan is deeply anti-intellectual, and a PM who says things like “detailed programmatic specificity” confuses the bogan, the poor things.”
i’ve been a nerd my whole life. my little brother is a Labour-voting computer programmer who never drinks and almost always wears a tie
we both thought Rudd was too boring. and things like ‘detailed programmatic specificity’ weren’t smart – they were obfuscating the real issues
like Rudd being a sexist who hits his kids and doesn’t support Internet freedom
Especially when he could just say “a detailed, specific program”. But I for one would not expect linguistically accuratised specificity from Rudd.
Brimstone,
I have met American Business men over there who were so ill educated and anti intellectual that they asked me where did i learn to speak english so well ? Then offered to take myself and other internastional visitors to look at the ammazing “skybridge” It actually coined two buildings on either side of the street Duh The invitation was to then go to a department store so we could buy things like calculators ? Fof F$%^&*g Real.
So yopu see Boganity is classless and knows no national bounderies.
Oddly enough in America many people do vote for the party. In my left-wing area, for example, voting Republican would be unthinkable. We voted Kerry/Edwards not because we liked them but out of party loyalty
this leads to some problems
I think most people in Australia vote for the party as well Brimstone. Some, myself included, vote according to who best occupies the political centre – I do not like extremists in either direction – while others vote according to specific issues. The political Christians fall into that category. For the most part though, voters seem to me to be “rusted on”. I get a similar feeling about the US system, and its equivalent of voters like myself is best captured by the so-called independents.
Brimstone,
sounds like its caused by a universal lack of education ?
Huh? Why do you say that? However bad the Democratic leader is the party’s platforms are still miles ahead of the Republicans
Brimstone,
You being from over there you dont have the requsite sense of humour to know when your chain is being pulled.
James ,
It is caused by inbreading which in turn causes stupidity. Republicans will only marry republicans who are red neck religitards. ? that sort of thing . drive down the freeways down south over there, dodging pick up trucks full of gun toting ner do wells and there huge bill boards every where selling religion . Talk about wierd. You get to a motel and you look real closely at the owners name tag just in case its another master bates .
But bogans love lesbians… as long as they look like Megan Fox and have cameras handy anytime they ‘invite one of their friends over’.
HTB
You must be the result of a private school education.
only thus could you end up so F%&#*d up.
Ummm, no actually. But thanks for caring.
Hey James Hunter, no fair..! Ad Hominem attacks are the realm of the dark side.
Unless by “private school education” you mean homeschooling. Its proponents and products could surely destroy us all.
@ JH
You’re grumpy today James. What’s wrong with being privately educated?
Only group I couldn’t resist joining was “Why is Julia Gillard Even Out of the Kitchen?”
I’m a Sexist, what can I say.
I’m surprised you can use a computer.
Also you are not a sexist, simply sexist.
@vivisection, I’m surprised you worked out how to use the reply function.
Hey Mitch-Jay. You are new. Let me take you aside and kindly advise you that no one around these parts – and I repeat no one – slags off vivisection.
So feel free to post but just keep the above in mind if you want to hang around here.
Yeah, Mitch-Jay. What SD said.
Please note; It seemed a childish reply would suffice as to insult and derange your volatile mind. If I am mistaken, I would be more than happy to partake in a logical argument. Providing I actually gave a fuck, per se.
Oops, Did I upset a big wig?
shit, serves me right.
I took on Viv once. It’s taken a lot of cocksucking to work my way back. ;-P
Mitch, you go son. Viv is big enough to handle a serving.
Well call me Kevin and be done with me. I leave my desk for an hour…
I’m surprised it only took you 5 hours to come back with that zinger.
You got served, Vivi. Sorry, v’Hhihvhihhhh.
Ah, ya win some, you lose some t’HombhaRinah
Did this not happen to New Zealand in the 90’s, female Governor General, female PM, females running the country. God we’ll be giving the Aboriginals back their land next and telling the US to shove it’s head up it’s arse.
And, if you’re lucky enough to live in the City of Sydney, you are now completely ruled by women!
* Queen Elizabeth II
* Governor-General Quentin Bryce
* Prime Minister Julia Gillard
* State Governor Marie Bashir
* Premier Kristina Keneally
* Lord Mayor Clover Moore
* Federal MP Tanya Plibersek
* State MP Clover Moore
I say good on the sheilas. They can’t stuff the world up any more than us blokes have.
What kind of a name is ‘Clover’ ???
Is she from Cloverfield?
It is an unusual name for a lesbian/lesbian wannbe studded dog collar wearing S&M Queen.
I’m frightened!
Not really, he’s just messing with you, Antosha. Clover is a big-hearted sweetheart, more politicians should follow her lead!
Which will result in the reversal of the tide of migration over the ditch. Australian’s with only one passport will see NZ as their only chance for a well paying job.
why are we still ruled by the Queen?
Because she does so much for us. That’s why.
BoT’
Maybe Barnabys sprout spouts will sprout sprouts ??
Viv, you forgot the drum roll and trumpet chorus.
Because the people didn’t like the model on offer at the 1999 republican referendum (in which Parliament reserved the right to choose the President, as opposed to direct election). And because compared to earlier Labor PMs in our history, Rudd was a pussycat when it came to reform and has shelved any move to a republic indefinitely.
God I hope that Julia shows some more testicular fortitude than Kevin. And not just on the republic, but on a thousand other areas in dire need of attention – affordable housing, urban planning, disability services, mental health, social exclusion, public transport – things where Rudd did something between “nothing” and “stuff all”.
Don’t disappoint me, Julia. Or I and all the other libtards out there will have no choice but to vote Green!
Did you see Sarah Hanson-Young on Q and A the other night? That was the moment I decided not to vote Greens.
I didn’t watch it unfortunately though it’s one of my favourite shows (the World Cup is playing havoc with my body clock!) Watching it now on ABC iView :)
<3 ABC iView.
I am selective about when I watch Q&A. Next week, Barnaby Joyce will go spout forth his incoherent ramblings, adding nothing of any worth to any debate.
Typical stupid bloody Co*ntry Member.
Yes. I’d poll her electorate. Rowr!
Oh my. I do hope that’s sarcasm….
YES TALK ABOUT CHOCKING
@ Urban
My exact thoughts
Whilst the Queen is the Head of State, she does not rule or have any power over Austalia’s ability to govern itself. The Queen’s status in Australia is purely as a figurehead. The Australia Act of 1985, introduced by the Hawke Government, took away the power which Her Majesty had to veto any Bill passed by the Australian Parliament. While that power had never been exercised by any British Monarch since Australian Federation in 1901, the power to veto was still taken away. At the time it was seen as another small step toward a Republic.
H the B
Henry what have the noble bread of Beagle done to draw association from someone totally disconnected from reality ?
Joe Towers
Dont know about giving the land back but that sounds like something that would do the septics a power of good.
I personally would love to see certain seppo’s with Cramium firmly inserted into their own ‘poopichka’
* Cranium *
Curse the typo Gods!
Nice, swift, insightful work boys. I guess you couldn’t want for a better outcome. In fact, I think you said something along those lines.
In unrelated news, I have made a little something for Viv and Petey. I have taken the liberty of condensing it somewhat, but I hope you like the pop art feel I have created in order to convey the country/urban juxtaposition that Petey attempted in his lyrical stylings.
http://www.twitvid.com/YAQGS
Shirley, great work! That Christmas album is well on it’s way to fruition. All we need is more great lyrics from Petey. You guys might be the next Taupin/John, Lennon/McCartney, Rice/Webber etc.
In fact, maybe instead of an eXXtreme XMas Album, we could have Bogue the Musical (a Bogan and his Austrian Cabbage spend long winter nights penning ditties to strangers who don’t give a f#ck) or Bogue on Ice (bogan gets feral and glasses caarnts while ice-skating on Meth).
Of course we Will have reality shows to cast the productions, “So you think you can Bogue?”
You will of course will have to be the musical director – think John Foreman as well as a judge for the reality show.
Glad you liked it Viv. I doubt I’ll get any feedback at all from our esteemed lyricist.
I am already on the Bogue the Musical bandwagon. Brilliant. In addition to Petey’s ditties, we also have the wonderful hip-hop writings of days gone by.
can you find some way to include the haikus from a few months back?
Of course! Spoken word accompanied by oriental pentatonic music. I can see it being very powerful.
Shirl,
Instead of the wailing of Pentatonic music we could have the VERY similar wailing of the tony rabbit supporters ?
Pentatonic music is beautiful, JH.
Shirl, I have a suggestion. Some may accuse me of overkill, but I don’t think it’s possible to excessively gild this particular lily.
Bogue The Musical: On Ice.
I’ll leave it with you.
Hey, it’s Viv’s baby. But I concur. We must gild the shit out of this lily.
On Ice. I’m there, screw it, let’s get in a fake snow machine too – just like Slava’s Snow Show
go the whole way and make it singalong bogue the musical: on ice.
I am tune deaf and incapable of singing, infact have no artistic merit at all and am very jealous of people who do so I will need a non performing role. Perhaps Door Nazi would be fitting?
The job is yours, Simon.
It shall be a Hip Hop/Haiku, Musical EXXXtravaganze with a strict door policy. Simon- you will need to provide a velvet rope if this is going to be successfully.
And Simon, we will need someone to train the actors in Accurate Glassing Technique (The SGA Technique), so clear your schedule.
I will borrow Fi’s from the Manse. I will get Sten to help me, he is very capable with broken stubbies. I think JH’s skill set will see him on stage.
I do so hope Our Benevolent Lady Fiona will finance our production. I’m sure she will see it as a sound investment.
Yes JH will possibly have the Austrian Cabbage swinging from his nether regions whilst the Petey Bogue character recites haiku and mackeral recipes to it to appease his lonliness. JH will have to off course make the Austrian Cabbage swing in time to the haiku and overall mood of the piece. I t will require some practice of his swinging /puppetry skills
Lordy my typing / grammar skills today are shocking. This is what happens under a female leadership! I can’t focus. Bloody Gillard.
Get yourself down to the Lindt Cafe, your focus will be restored after a chocolate fix!
Viv ,
Shes giving you the Ginger !!!
I have a feeling JH is capable of sword insertion. Perhaps the finale can see him skewer Petas pancreas.
I can see the opening all so clearly….
Think Inspector Gadget. Petey is sitting with his back to the audience, Dr Claw style, at his computer. Instead of a cat, he strokes his austrian cabbage. We’ll have a great big screen on stage projecting the images on his screen. He’ll be looking at his blog, checking to see if anyone has commented positively on his ‘Rule of thumbs for pots and pans’ entry. They have not. His whimpering becomes rage. He needs an outlet. He needs TBL……
Great start Shirl.
Loving it. At the pinnacle of his lonely despair, when he’s typing out his lengthy missives, can we have some Shaolin Monks dancing in slow motion around the stage? – to symbolise the sheer bogue intensity of his feelings.
I think we need to incorporate a love interest, perhaps a Skirt that works at his local Caff, initially she is overwhelmed by his generous tipping and glowing reviews, but eventually she discovers and rejects his Austrian Cabbage tendencies/penchant.
This betrayal causes him to unleash more rants directed at TBL and the other people who don’t really care. Unable to control his passions, he takes it out on Adolf, his cabbage de jour……
Feeling sickened by his debauche molestation of Adolf, Petey turns to TBL as a source of pleasure and pain…..
Hmmm. Petey would never tip generously, Viv.
Let’s go down the ‘struggling with his sexuality’ road. I mean, his cabbage is called adolf, after all.
Love the shaolin monks. They could recite the haikus as they broke wooden planks with the heads.
I think post molesting Adolf, Adolf starts to tell him what to do, in austrian/Germanic accent – Adolf dictates his Hate Posts / Love Songs and rants on TBL and drives Petey to become even more completely unhinged. Petey dresses Adolf in German Beer Wench costumes just like he saw at Octoberfest and put lipstick and a moustache on Adolf. Petey’s own Blog becomes a florid nightmare of small eatery reviews, common sense cookery tips and assorted craziness.
But then, at the end we discover that Adolf does not exist at all. That crazy cross dressed evil Austrian Cabbage is all a figment of his deranged imagination and symbolic of his descent into madness…. Cue Rock The Ballet routine to Sexx on Fire chorus, on repeat.
Effing brilliant.
Perhaps ‘the twist’ (all bogan tales need a twist) is that the cabbage does indeed exist, but rather, it’s Petey who does not.
Viv, Like it a lot, Have you ever seen the movie “Salon Kitty”
If you can get a copy any where grab it.
very “dark caberet” story of yungfraus being prepared for Gestapo brothel duties and the spying therein for black mail.
reflecting on scenes from it i can see this Petey thing being bigger then the sound of mucus.
Was Petey into removing the cores from his cabbage of the day ? I can not bear to think of the “private” scenes of Petey with a cored out cabbage.
Wonder if he is going to use sand or contact glue for lube ?
Great twist Shirley. And totally believable, even though you’d never guess it was going to happen. Evil coleslaw.
JH – have not seen Salon Kitty, but sounds good – will check it out. Petey would core out the cabbage, or he might poke it’s wobbly plastic eyes out like the horse in Equus (except he does unspeakable things to its eye sockets.) I think he would have to use mayonnaise.
Loving the inclusion of the Shaolin Monks.
May I be so bold as to suggest that instead of simply breaking planks of wood, they headbut snowboards.
I realise this may cause debris issues on the ice, but that then opens the door for someone to trip, do their back in, and sue. Petey, for example. Or Adolph the Post-Modernist Excessively-Rogered Austrian Cabbage.
Let’s call it, ‘Coleslaw’.
So sort of like Fight Club.
Cabbage Patch Club?
I really need a more lucrative outlet for this kind of thing. And when I say more lucrative, I mean lucrative full stop.
Shirly,
By the time Petey finish with the cabbage it be “Warmslaw”
“Coleslaw” – has an evil eastern European ring to it. Maybe his full name should be Stanislav Coleslaw. But known simply as Coleslaw, like Cher.
More like Molestaslaw.
Yes, Viv. Perfect.
I meant the musical should be called ‘coleslaw’, as well as the cabbage.
Not only does it have an evil eastern european ring to it, it also comes with the KFC 2 piece feed, so the bogans will be familiar with the subject matter. To quote TBL, the bogan likes this.
And if Fi doesn’t come up with enough funding, we can sneak some KFC advertising in to the production, like on Masterchef….
With thinking like that Viv, we can’t fail.
More sponsorship possabilities spring to mind. One of the dance numbers can be done on a Wii Fit platform. The ice can be made from functional water. I also see Peta dressed by Cristian Audiger, and fragranced by Sean Pauls I am King.
Simon. You are totally wasted as door nazi. I’m making the executive decision to elevate you to product placement extraordinaire.
I like the idea of a WiiFit Dance Ice Skating routine. Clarssy! And Sean Paul’s I am King can also double as a Colesaw Dressing, being a form of vinegar.
Cool, executive role. I will still do the door on show day. I feel this is a vital job to keep show on track.
Show day? You will need to commit to a 2 month season, at the very least.
And perhaps after a particularly rigorous anal rogering of Adolf/Coleslaw, a huge Pandora Charm could be offered with a love song apology.
I better get my passport renewed for the Broadway season, or we simply run in Vegas for 15 years?
Just as soon as we can move Celine along, Vegas will be ours…
The world is our cabbage, my friends.
LOL @ Shirl !!
Fantastic !
“Come.. Mad Cabbage.. Let us away…”
Now Shirley, don’t you think this Petey obsession has gone far enough? I’m so over him, already!
He’s become a muse for my cruel sense of humour, and I’m not the only one who has been affected by his peculiar ramblings, but don’t worry, I’ll be bored of him soon enough. Perhaps.
I have now, Miss Dahl. Thanks for that. Is it too early for a shot of vodka or two?
Absolutely, I can insert a sword. If it is into Peteys Pancreas then I will for gomy appearance fee.
Deal ?
All I have his vision’s of ‘Bad Boy Bubby’ meets inspector gadget.
I <3 you guys ;)
@Shirley – no worries, I can own up to similar minor obsessions, myself. Speaking of which, have you read that blog of the mind boggling – the Essential Baby Cult site in the SMH has asked the “mums of Australia” their opinions of Julia Gillard. Read and squeak!
@Shirley M, never too late for a shot of the Grey Goose! That’s why it’s called elevenses.
How about Judge Judy for de jurdge
You’re our singing Yoda. So wise, so insightful…so tuneful!
Love it.
Poor bogan horde. It is torn. In turmoil.
It awoke today to ginger ninja chick boss cocky with a boyfriend from a non-bogan-approved profession (hairdressing).
Julia certainly fits the little-Aussie-battler-done-good mould, although she does have a worrying history of academic achievement to her credit. Her track record with the student union (boo-hiss!) is offset by her affiliation with S&G, champion of the honest Aussie worker (hurrah!). And while foreign-born, it’s a bogan-approved non-towel-head non-Muzzo country.
While unthreated by Julia’s sex appeal, the bogan female harbours dark suspicions re the PM’s decision not to churn out a Chevrodore-load of Tahmikas and JaXXXXsyns of her own. That said, Julia seems like a good chick, and not up herself at all.
The bogan male, equally unimpressed by Julia’s SA, nonetheless would happily sink a schooner or two with her. Yet he worries that she’d barrel him in an arm wrestle.
In short, the bogan doesn’t know what to think. It paces, waiting anxiously for TT/ACA to formulate and deliver its opinion for it. 6.30pm cannot arrive quickly enough today.
Tracey G. seemed quite in favour last night when interviewing JG on ACA. I didn’t see all of it though. I think ACA and TT will be besties with any new PM initially as they want ongoing access.
Didn’t see T-Grim last night, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s a fan.
Julia’s the shiny new toy. Or puppy.
But it’s good to see another hard-left rednut in the box seat. It must have been lonely for Kerry O’Brien all those years.
*coffee geyser*
it’s about time this bogan country had a female PM. We are so behind the times. Even Muslim countries have female Prime Ministers, but not Australia! A woman’s place is in the kitchen & washing her husbands jocks isn’t it?Australia even waited until the USA elected a black president (shock horror!)
before we got our own lady PM. It’s embarrassing mate.
I think it’s more notable that we have an atheist PM, myself.
Shirl, thank “god” its not that rabbid Rabbit the tony thingy ex undersyudy to be a molester of young boys.
Dude. I have no idea what this means.
We need a PM to free us from the libtards and neo cons. We also need a new main stream media company to support it and not be constantly bombarding us with garbage.
agnostic to be correct
CM,
So many dont actually know the difference
It’s about time we paid women the same as men too. We should pay checkout chicks the same as brain surgeons.
…in breaking news…
RSPT kills impoverished mining execs forced to search for resources in a different third world backwater…
details at ten.
This newsbreak brought to you by MarkLatham mints – now more bitter than ever.
Chubster,
AND Franklin Mint will bring you a detailed model of the crash site with realistically fashioned , removable, body parts.
“Are we ready for a female PM?”
even to a womanising chauvinist like me, that question is totally irrelevant.
We all know there are more poignant questions we should all be asking ourselves.
The bogan will ask the question, nonetheless. It is the extent of the bogan’s capacity for political analysis. TBL
“Look at moie, look at moie Swanie, lookat moie…”
After speed reading the draft new Climate Change bill…
“Was good but I don’t agreeeoi”
If you lived in Cairns you’d have a female Mayor, a female Premier, a female PM and a female GG.
For me, the worst thing about this entire incident is that every commercial radio station presenter is now a political commentator.
“It’s all just politics really” Really? Is it? Haven’t you got an Indian accent to practice?
I am quite surprised that there has been no media commentary on comparing Gillard’s toppling of Rudd to what Keating did to Hawke..
Speaking of her “radical socialist background” I predict Abbott, News Ltd et al to start the fear mongering in this regard appealing to the bogan’s fear of ‘communism’
The Red came out from under the bed. Boom boom!
Of course they will, but the bogan also loves free stuff.
Democratic socialism is all about taking from those that do and giving it to those who can’t (or can’t be bothered.) It will be interesting to see how it shapes up. The traditional dole bludging bogan will always vote for the free stuff, along with all the hippies, students of the arts and other parasites. However, the cashed up bogan, working ‘in the mines’ or running his/her own independent contracting company won’t want the pinkos ripping up their good wicket.
H t B,
Interesting.
What is your take on the following :
Karl Marx said;” from everyone according to their capacity and to everyone according to their need”
The Holy Bible says”Do unto others as you would have them do unto you ”
Very similar social concepts does the boag decry either or both?
Does the boag embrace either or both?
How does this impact on a choice between an atheist female socialist and a religitard facist male ?
Very good questions, JH.
The answer to the first two is, of course, neither.
Neither of these concepts convey the mindset of utterly unwarranted entitlement so fundamental to the bogan psyche.
The bogan glasses, not because the bogan is a drunk, intolerant a$$clown, but because others are %*nts.
The bogan keeps Harvey Norman in the black because it has the patience and self-discipline of a red-cordial-fuelled toddler with ADHD.
The bogan provides both the grist, and the audience, for the reality TV mill because they deserve profile. Fame. Recognition. Even if it’s for being a braying liar like the chkchkboom t!ts-out slurry.
The bogan wants – nay, is ENTITLED – to everything. Now.
I’m still thinking about your third question.
The answer remains, whoever promises them the most shit and border protection.
I think deep in your heart James you will punt on the caflic!
Oh, James Hunter, what do you think about “Maitland: The New Paris” as a working title for you next highbrow allusion to literary self-abasement? I think you shall obtain not the least thing from its complete, unexcelled awakening. Gotta love that, Jim…
Also, Jim, we’ll recruit vivisection to pen a mysterious contribution entitled, The “Ladies Man Of Spring Hill”. Not as hard a sell as it first seems either.
And all of it on the Juxtaposition imprint too!
Failing that, Jim, Shirley’s wailing missives of penury (and associated greatness) pulled from a pocket stuffed full of gut wrenching words (as opposed to being torn from actual guts) could induce admiration. Hell, Jim, I hate indecisiveness; I’ll entrust you to make the right choice on this contentious struggle for free speech.
Awww, you did listen to my songs after all. I feel much better now. I especially like the bit you said about greatness. Love ya Petey! x
Erm, I seldom press links & I never nor will ever listen to any of your strangulated sounds. However, I’ll contribute a working title for any present or future “works” you pen: “Christ With Tomato Sauce” as a kind of “winking” to your legions of fans signaling that while you may affect tha hapless anti-hero/clown persona, you’re really smarter than you’re letting on. Go on, envision the epiphanies & the enlightenment attainable. Why, you’re practically a literary hustler, you little Bukowski you.
I don’t believe you Petey. x
You can’t handle the truth. Besides, I know you’re obsessed with me but it’s time to man up: you’re never going to have the pleasure of my company, hambeast.
Hambeast!!
Not even love can save you Petey.
I thought you said the the only person I cared about was myself? How can that be, if I am obsessed with you?
Petey babe,
If attention is what you crave then I realy do hope for you that some readers care about what you say because I do not. The world is full of interesting people and some of them have opinions that I care about. Those are of a group that I conciously select. Very specifically they are not selected by emotions. So thetre you have it plain. Two reasons why I do not care what you think. My only reason , ever , for answering any of your misifs is simply the amusement that i obtain from your discomfiture. It is great to have someone like you who can so easily amuse me.
So thank you Petey babe.
Oh, James Hunter, the papers still want to know whose shirts you wear…
Shirley: fun, cheeky & amusingly quaint, but squishy at best. btw, I’m in Brisbane this weekend, just about to leave. Much of you has been explained in silent yet deeply profound ways to me over the last 2 days.
Ah, ok.
Just saw the link to this on the age website, they blurred out the swear words, so here is the direct link form you tube – Downfall of Kevin Rudd
some disturbing comments in here today, from some esteemed regular contributors. I think we may be all watching too much telly hmm?
perhaps we could read the opening paragraph again?
much regurgitating of lobbyist setiments from both sides of the philosophical chamber.
suckahs!
Yeh, JH has gone mad today! Too serious by half hey Chub. I may be guilty too.
On any given day James Hunter ought to be made to prove that he can improve on silence before he either opens his mouth or, God forbid, lays his fingers on a keyboard.
Petey babe,
Whatever I have I think I caught it from you.
Oh, James Hunter, what you ‘have’ is, aside from special needs and unlike me, a limp dick 24/7. Sorry! But do continue your dull, retarded and remedial scribblings. There’s must be nothing like the oscillation of the balls in quiet complication.
Julia is not a bogan.
Lets get this right. Sure, she might be a liar, cheat and crook, but you will never see her wearing ugg boots or driving a Ford drinking a stubby of VB.
Get your facts right and stop giving bogans a bad name.
I wear ugg boots, black jeans and metallica shirts and I vote.
@nelson esq.
abc radio ‘pm’ program drew parallels to hawke/keating and even hawke/hayden last night.
Thanks chubby, about time someone drew the parallel. The Gorton spill by McMahon 40 odd years ago has been mentioned on TV but I am too young to know the ins and outs of that one. From memory the Hawke / Keating leadership challenge has similarities with the goings on yesterday; in that the power brokers who backed Keating, did the rounds, called for a change in leadership and ousted Hawke. There are significant differences as well, in that it certainly wasn’t as quick (Keating had already challenged and failed once before), the Hawke Government though getting tired was not ‘on the nose’ like the Rudd Govt was and the fact that Hawke had had several terms as PM and was supposedly meant to have handed the leadership over to Paul as per the ‘Kiribilli Agreement.’
Nelson the land owner,
the billy mcmahon / john gorton was a wizzer. John Gorton was a person who left alone would have been a realy great prime minister then along comes bigg ears to spoil it for everyone.
no wonder lady sonia was heard to say that she feared old age creaping up on her. !!
Jeff Sparrow did a pretty convincing summary of policy v personalities I reckon.
http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/stories/s2936343.htm
I have read todays Bogan Bribe Watch & I have a couple of issues;
There dosen’t appear to be a (monetary) bribe for the bogan. The Paid Maternity Leave was announced last week & I thought this would be of great interest to bogans (Although separating the bogan/nonbogan grab for the cash may have proved difficult).
The other issue is regarding voting for local member vs party leader.
I would have thought that most people (not just bogans) would have voted in the last federal election on a party basis rather than who their local member was. The last election was won by people voting to oust Howard rather than vote for Rudd. Rudd was just the best/only alternative. I don’t think that the bogan would even know or care who their local member is, I reckon their voting preference would only be determined by “woz innit for me?”
Your comment about the average person not knowing who their local member is a big part of the problem. That’s how factions gain power – getting the right person in the right seat will determine the strength of the faction. Each local member will back and support their own.
It will be interesting to see what will happen with Lindsay Tanner’s seat in Melbourne – locally he put a lot of effort into courting the gay / queer vote (short of marriage equality though). Before all of this happened and before he announced his retirement, there were calls in the queer press to vote Green in this seat to show the ALP that the gay vote could cost them their Finance Minister. Apparently the backroom ALP line is that when it comes to costing them votes, they will act, not before. If the ALP put a hard right candidate in for this seat, the local people will certainly be aware of who their local member is. And the ALP risks losing this seat which the Greens are close to having.
You are probably right there Viv but you are speaking from a well rounded, educated angle. The point of Bogan Bribe watch & TBL in general is to point out the issues from the bogans side of thinking & I think that local issues & rights’n’stuff & politics do not cross their radar. “factions” “Queer vote” & “Green” are not terms the bogan would consider when casting their vote.
quite true, sadly.
I never noticed it before, Rudd DOES sort of look like Tintin…
And Mr. Garrison.
Good one Steve, who is Mr Slave?
We have been considering a few thoughts. Bogans don’t vote for their local members, they vote for leaders. Who was the biggest bogan in the race.? Hawke V Fraser – Hawke. Hawke V Peacock? Hawke. Keating V Hewson? Keating. Keating V Howard – Howard. Howard V Beasley – Howard. Howard V Latham? Howard. Howard V Rudd? I would actually say Rudd.
Who was a bigger bogan – Rudd or Abbott? I would actually say Mr.Togs. So now, the real game in town – Abbott or Gillard? I think Abbott needs to photographed in front of the HSV plant, and Gillard needs to ‘accidentally’ call someone ‘darl’.
The race is on.
All very good points.
But I remain convinced we’re overcomplicating the bogan who, while cunning and elusive tricky in some aspects, is not given to lengthy intellectual ponderings.
As Simon GaA put it beautifully further up the thread, the bogan throng will vote for “whoever promises them the most shit and border protection”. I fear he is correct.
*elusively*
I fear the same thing Tomba! Madness.
Pinkster, what on earth has happened to you? Looks like you have fallen to the yellow peril !!
@ JH
That’s what I look like. A yellow suspended head. It’s the look of the season. ;)
P!nky You look like a frightened poached egg! Tres Chic. Trouble is, resembling food means Petey is likely to offer a review / opinion.
Viv,
To head him off you could off his head ? bit extreme but permanent.
I forgot about his cabbage fetish too. Shit, what’s going to happen to me :? Is he going to eat and then review me. I’m not Austrian either…AHHHHHH
I’m in moderation for using a naughty word
Sorry TBL
Pinkster,
beware in case he eats you and trys to revive you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ JH
More the “kiss of Austrian cabbage breath death”
That’s it, I’m changing it to something that doesn’t give Peta those tingly feelings in his groin.
Would have to disagree with some of your politican bogan ratings there, YB.
Keating v Howard – Keating was the bigger bogan, he was probably the country’s first ever CUB, with his foul mouth, penchant for Italian suits and antique cuckoo clocks. This, in spite of covering the (traditionally Liberal) free-market /centre ground in terms of his economic policies. Keating, like Rudd was on the nose in the opinion of the Australian public and they had had enough of him, largely through his perceived arrogance. Like 1972, in 1996, it was time, time for a change of party to lead the country. Howard (IMHO) is not a bogan, however he appealled to bogans, especially with his immigration / assylum seeker policies.
Howard v Beasley – Beasley. But I would say that he is only a little bit bogan…you’d need to get the bogometre out to determine the extent!
Howard v Latham – I can’t believe you think that Howard was a bogan and Latham wasn’t! Latham was, is and always will be an old school c*ck-head bogan!
Howard v Rudd – Rudd isn’t a bogan either. He is a dweeb, the type of smart-arsed little sh*t who would have got the cr@p belted out of him at school on a daily basis…hence why he has anger management issues.
Abbot v Gillard – Right wing views seem to belong to the NAB these days. Abbott is not a bogue, but he is a right wing relic that somehow has managed to stay afloat way past his time. How Abbott gets away with calling himself ‘conservative’ with such right wing opinions is beyond me. (I think modern day conservatives are more centre than right-wing)
Our new redheaded, female PM, Ms Gillard, with her lefty views, borne from her working-class roots, is an old school bogan through and through. Unlike most old school bogans though, she has used her brain and got herself well educated. Her Kath Day-Knight voice marks her a bogan as well.
I reckon with Labor’s NSW Right faction keeping her in-check, if she performs well over the next few months, sets some sensible policies, makes progress with the mining tax and not backflip on anything, the bogans will come back in droves and will vote her in next election. The bogans will then be self congratulatory and see themselves as progressive for having voted for a woman…but they won’t be able to stop themselve making ranga jokes…
Keating, despite his origins as a Westie, managed to elevate himself in a manner that doesn’t befit a bogan, cashed-up or otherwise. He made something of himself, using a mix of opportunity and street-smarts. He cultivated a highly evolved aesthetic sensibility and showed tasteful restraint in his grooming and deportment.
And though he could be grubby in attack, he had a deliciously acid tongue and delivered his epithets with the rapier wit that a bogan of any stripe can never possess.
Keating is also a fan of Mahler: no self-respecting bogan has ever heard of him. I arrest my case!
Maaaahler? Which team did ‘he play faw?
Maaaahler? Which team did ‘e play faw?
@ Whistling Nixie:
Heheheheh! Not for the ‘Pies, as far as I know ;)
BTW, is the second part of your nick a tribute to these deliciously retro numeric display tubes, which were used in early digital devices (I remember as a child seeing them utilised in the earliest electronic scales in the late 70s), whilst referencing “Whistling Dixie”?
If it is, glad to hear of someone else who warmly embraces old-new technology, like me with valve amplification, fancy incandescent light bulbs or reel-to-reel audio tape. New tech does indeed have its place (big fan of LED lighting and its manifold benefits), but that’s what discerns those who can fully appreciate advances in technology and its context, from the bogan, who’ll simply swarm to these appliances by virtue of them being new and de rigueur.
Or, if it didn’t, how did you come up with the moniker? With a WP account, you could appropriate an image of an orange-glowing counter as your avatar.
BoT,
They were known as Nixie Tubes and were a cold cahtode tube like a neon lamp.
That I knew, JH. I always thought they looked pretty dishy in that old high-tech way.
Just curious if that’s what Whistling Nixie was inspired by for their nick.
BoT,
I can remember back somewhere about 1963 the University of New England bought its first Electronic calculators. The size of an IBM Golfball typwriter with a row of 1″ Nixies across the front and it could add subtract multiply and divide. WOW about 10 years later they put their first computer in the Mathematics dept. about the size of a small house withe rows of card readers and Mag Tape. and it wwas 32Kbites. !!!
the times are a changing.
Thank (insert diety of choice)
The Ruskies are still one of the few sources of Nixies and Radio valves.
Some nice 25W =25W valve amps floating round for hobbiest people The superb signal to noise ratio of a valve stereo amp to me is unbeatable as is its capacity to handle a mix of harmonics and a high dynamic range.
Im starting to show my age but hey I do have a 55″ led/lcd tv
I’m voting for whoever frees up the Internet
I just saw a wagon go past me, it was empty but it had a sign on the back that said “Lleyton is a prick, but he’s the only prick we’ve got”
@SD
thanks for the link to the jeff sparrow piece – hits the nail on the head. bogans give about as much depth to their political thought as they do to dancing with the master chef’s big brothers biggest loser.
In combination with TBL’s observations on the role of lobbyists it reduces elections to the level of a Sunrise poll. throw enough colour and movement at the bogue and you can pretty much lead them where you wish.
maybe if we just dispense with the parties all together and let the bogues vote for George Pat’s or DDB Needham.
So, Chub, where are you and the divine Ms E shacked up for the weekend?
Chubby and Edna should have their own travel show – like Leyland Brothers, but bogue spotting – a revealing in the field documentary travelogue.
My pleasure Chubby.
Maybe the antics of the bogan during election time can be added to the grand Bogue Safari being dreamed up by T’rina and V’section :-)
@Tombarina (welcome home?)
we are at an Top Secret Location just north of Townsville. not much to report, indulging my secret bogan passion for League with some old cronies this eve, edna (the devine miss who blushes and makes kitten noises when you say things like that to her) is ever fascinated at the cavalcade of kooky characters from my dubious past. (tonight it’s Blacky a former poster boy for Army recruiting) she passes on her fondest.
@viv
in bogan news we visited a supermarket at a place called Yabulu today. I try to never judge folk on physical appearance, but this place utterly shattered my placid zen facade (now edna is laughing hysterically and saying “zen my effing @rse”) truly the place Genes forgot.
@SD
‘the flowers die though we love them and the weeds grow though we love them not.’
Dogen again I think. ;)
A dogen once in awhile is good for the spririt, keep them coming!
Rudd, Thatcher, Nixon, Bush (x2), Clinton, Gillard, Brown (x2), Howard, the man ya mama calls Obama….
Spot the difference.
Hope they have a hot G20
Dead Set…
some of the smartest footy players I know are footy players.
Chub, give my best to Ingham.
@tomba
aah, ingham, tully, innisfail,
so much to look forward to.
north queensland is fortunately something of the land time (and genes) forgot. I’m not sure it’s even (old school) bogan. a curious mix of ancient italian migrant and Murri might be closer. all wrapped up in an insouciant naieve conservatism and deep suspicion of everything “down south”
in spite of myself I have an abiding love for the place, though I would never want to live here again eh.
bugger.
Edna informs me naive is actually Evian backwards.
apparently she learnt that from janine garofaloffofallo…
I will never forget it now.
A good day already. :)
It might be useful to have an open thread over the weekends for the blog. Not wanting to dampen the enthusiasm and contributions of regulars, but it is increasingly hard to navigate the comments section.
Lighthouse,
Might be use full if when opening emails in windows mail one could go straight to the actual comment in the site ?
Rudd looks Chinese.
In much the same way that Steven Seagal looks Japanese.
There is somthing in that for everybody.
They’re both good people.
TBL – are you aware that the group you call the ‘trash media’ are delivering Gillard an extraordinarily positive image as she took over? For example, an exclusive interview with ACA on the first day, publishing an issue of Woman’s Weekly on a Friday (I believe they usually don’t do this) with her on the cover, etc.
Gee,
They wouldn’t have done it to get massively increased sales, would they?
Not our beloved media.
They’ll do that until she does something rich people don’t like. The rich like, and feel even more entitled to their unearnt money even more than the bogan.
@AA
eqivocal bunch the trashmedia are, perhaps they are just trying to balance the character assasination they ran on Julia’s predecessor.
I had the misfortune to catch a bit of “38 minutes” last week and see one of their alleged journos repeating the phrase “gutless wonder” @ our erstwhile PM.
The bogue footprint no doubt regards this as equally insightful, incisive and factual.
as an aside, I was baited into watching the show by the teasers they ran all week purporting to unmask a spousicidal maniac. Alas just another speculative and slanderous character assasination. I was truly baffled trying to fathom just what their agenda was in regard to this poor idiot who lacked the wit to defend himself.
a week and numerous showers later I stll feel dirty.
“will not all the perfumes of arabia sweeten this little” mind?
Out out damned trashmedia!
Chubby,
Take the centre stand on the podium
http://www.smh.com.au/national/dont-hurtle-towards-a-big-australia-pm-20100626-zatl.html
Yay. 1 point to Julia Gillard. Now she needs to do something about it and cut the immigration numbers. By at least half imo.
Has there ever been a ranga PM or President throughout history?
Maybe we need to have affirmitive action for rangas.
Edmund Barton
Eisenhower
etc.
TBL – Why am I in moderation? It’s me P!nky… :)
I think it just does it automatically for any username that hasn’t been seen before. All good. TBL
that’s okay TBL. I didn’t realise that having a WP account would change my name. :?
I just finished reading the Sunday Mail. god knows why. I think I was bored and wanted a TV guide. I’m certain my intelligence (such as it is) has never been so comprehensively insulted.
I want to have a mega spray, but pffft.
I’ll settle for page 44. under the heading of “NEWS” a half (tabloid) page item for a range of clothing inspired by a movie franchise from a specific (and apparently exclusive) retailer including 3 full colour photos and prices for the garments in question. The rest of the (tabloid) page taken up by an ad (which is actually more informative than the “news” piece).
OK cc to Jonathon Holmes, but isn’t there a law or something against this?
News ltd. Right?
Yea Chubby, the Sunday Mail (both the Adelaide and Brisbane versions) is part of the News Ltd. stable of trash-krakens. I haven’t read a News Ltd. Sunday tabloid in years. I hate being treated like a moron by the media, and I’m no moron. I could feel my brain cells popping away whenever I read one – just like a kid playing with bubble wrap on Christmas morning.
And boy, isn’t Julia racking up the bogan brownie points already! With today’s announcement that she’s not all that into a “big Australia”.
I’m inclined to agree with her – this country is in the middle of the worst housing crisis in sixty years, our cities have recurring water shortages, our urban transport systems are at breaking point. But I’ll bet that Julia’s overtures today aren’t just about appealing to greenie libtards like me who are worried about ecological sustainability or water or public services. Dog-whistling to xenophobic bogans in marginal outer-suburban electorates can’t hurt her re-election chances either!
I’ll score today’s efforts by Julia 6 “F$%^ Off We’re Full” stickers out of 10.
@ Urban
**Round of applause**
As a part of my therapy in trying not to avoid the emotion of anger (I have a bit of a fear of losing my cool, so I defer those feelings and not release them), I have been advised to reconnect with that uncomfortable sensation.
In order to activate the outrage, I have a clear trigger to prevail upon: listen to AM talkback radio. Which means having to endure one solid hour of ill-informed drivel by Perth’s finest hater, Howard Sattler, his prattling (Howard Prattler as he is otherwise known) peppered with commercials just to ratchet up the irritation factor. I know this’ll get me on edge. The trick is not to evade those emotions, but allow them to course through while not analysing it too much at that point, and then channel these glowering feelings into a non-destructive outlet. I’m sure I could transmit onto paper the bones of a towering rant that’d make Ron Hitler-Barassi proud. And maybe, if I feel so inclined, deliver it in a thundering soliloquy, with perhaps the cat as my trial audience :P (don’t worry pud, you’ve done nothing wrong!)
I am going through this tomorrow afternoon. That’d be the ideal emotional laxative I could take to relieve myself of sh¡t on the liver. But don’t worry folks, I’m well-immunised against those hateful views that I shall rail against, so no fear of turning to the Dark Side. Or thrashing out a vocal delivery à la Choad Grogan.
agreed with Urbanreverie and Julia.
people forget Australia is a (growing) desert surrounded by a beach. I aint no farmer but I was seriously questioning how we would resource the type of population figures being bandied about.
On julia, I doubt the bogue would understand any more of what she says than they did Kev without the kraken to “interpret” it for them, but I’m sure they think she sounds better saying it.
seven hardresser’s beards out of ten.
(omg did I actually say that or just think it?)
Feckit the woman’s rough isn’t she? Everything about her says ‘scraggy ol’ skank’ or ‘Nominated Best Ride at Bindoon’.
I guess it’s all well and good everyone teasing about JGs man being a hairdresser, but I’m sure Confucius got it right when he stated that a woman who live with hairdresser will always look good. (ok then … Confucius didn’t really say that….)
I wouldn’t take grooming advice from a man who wore a plaited pigtail.
is it like,
daylight savings or summink?
School holidays?
also I wish to distance myself entirely from comments re: hairdressers and
beards. I retract and apologise sincerely.
What is truly fascinating about this recent coverage is that the inner-city elitist hipster douchebag was able to overcome its reflexive detestation of all things bogan and embrace the RSPT at all. The eventual outrage some bogans came to feel towards the tax may explain this somewhat. However, there is a deeper conundrum here that demands further examination.
The RSPT was a crudely crafted ploy designed to evade an impending confrontation over excessively profligate bogan bribery. Mr Rudd appreciated that the bogan had grown accustomed to generous handouts accompanied by loudly-proclaimed budget surpluses. The bogan may not be entirely sure of the exact significance of fiscal restraint, but it knows that it is good. So Mr Rudd donned his battle fatigues and announced a solution that would plug the gaping red hole whilst avoiding any diminishment in bogan bribery. He attempted to market the scheme on terms that the bogan would understand and relate to: He appealed to xenophobia. He appealed to the entitlements of ‘working families’. The particulars of the RSPT were as unsightly as a stretched-out slag-tag. And the marketing gloss was aimed squarely at the bogan.
Plainly, the instinctive response from the inner-city elitist hipster douchebag ought to have been the usual scornful acerbic twaddle. A rough and ready ruse designed specifically to sustain the bogan bribe machine? A no-brainer, one would have postulated. Yet here we can observe implicit support for the scheme.
The bogan can sometimes surprise. But on the whole it is a predictable creature. However, further inspection is required before any reliable conclusions can be drawn on the nature of those at the other end of straw-stuffed stereotype spectrum.