According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, only 0.3% of the Australian population was born in Ireland, and only 0.8% are second generation Australians of Irish stock. Seeing as bogans account for at least 20% of the Australian population, it stands to reason that, unless Irish DNA offers a predilection towards being a bogan, there are only around 160,000 Irish bogans. The average age of an Irish immigrant being nearly 50, TBL believes that, nationwide, there are only around 20,000-30,000 Irish bogans between 18 and 30 years of age.
Yet, once a year – today, March 17th – hundreds of thousands of bogans around the country congregate at Irish pubs and bars and celebrate their Irishness. By getting smashed on Guinness and glassing cunts. These bogans will alter their standard display behaviour, also. Rather than merely wearing garish T-shirts and posturing aggressively at one another for the benefit of the female, they will wear garish green t-shirts and posture aggressively at one another for the benefit of the female. Upon meeting a real Irish person, it will first patronise them by clumsily attempting to put on an Irish accent, and then prepare to fight them. Possibly with the ultimate idea of finding gold at the end of this particular bloodied leprechaun. It’s hardly surprising that the bogan has taken to St Patrick’s Day with this sort of delusional fervour. After all, the bogan will happily embrace any culture that it perceives to be based on drinking, fighting and people with a passing resemblance to itself.
While Irish pubs spend the rest of the year half empty, on St Patrick’s Day, the bogan will PAY to enter the same venue and eke out a narrow gap for itself between the toilet door and the cigarette machine. It will then spend the next six hours drinking a beer it shows no interest in for the other 364 days of the year, and complaining about how crowded the pub that it never otherwise attends is. On its first pint of Guinness, the bogan will inwardly wince at the dense black sludge in its throat, pause to compose itself, and then loudly pronounce its themed deliciousness over the surrounding din. Much of this din is caused by a patently hopeless U2 cover band, earning $500 for a set that is completely devoid of monetary value at any other time.
Indeed, St Patrick’s Day is a rare example of the bogan’s rampant one-dimensional nationalism being put on the back burner. Today, the bogan will go to great pains to inform bystanders that it is “one quarter Irish” (presumably leaving only three quarters Australian), which in its mind, qualifies it to enthusiastically recount the same three Irish jokes that it told on St Patrick’s Day last year. And the year before. And the year before that.
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Fantastic entry, to be sure.
“Seeing as bogans account for at least 20% of the Australian population”
That can’t be close to right, surely bogans make up the majority of the population….
We said at least. We assume that the other 80% read this blog. TBL
LOL. Jo’s statement and TBL’s reply are not at odds.
“Here the bogan drives the snake from its own pants”
Hilarious!
Is ruining St Patricks a new Bogan thing? About 6 or 7 years ago I used to frequent the local Irish pub on St Pats and drink a fair bit of guinness (enough to grab what was then a free t-shirt). I remember a fair crowd of people quietly enjoying themselves and rather a lot of smiling and laughing.
Having said all that, I have no Irish blood whatsoever. I have been there a few times and enjoyed my time in the pubs listening to the music (esp after the smoking ban came through). For me spending St Pats day in a pub brings back those happy memories, though I haven’t done this for a while.
I do enjoy my stouts, and Guinness. While I was in Ireland I preferred the Caffrey’s stout. Yum.
There’s nothing to ruin. Paddy’s Day – outside of Ireland – is an excuse for the native Irish to express their inner twat or pyschopath, along with whatever foreign hanger’s-on happen to be present. It predates Boganisn by a long way.
Unfortunately I think we can thank the Irish for our tendency to Boganism and binge-drinking.
Ignorant Bollocks. We owe our eloqence, independent streak and irreverance to the Irish. You clearly haven’t been to the UK. Bogan city. Just they call them chavs.
You haven’t mentioned the new street “sport”…Paddy bashing. One step above glassing cunts, where the aim is to cause as much permanent damage to innocent Irish backpackers as possible.
I don’t know if “innocent” and “backpackers” can really be used in the same sentence…
Exactly my sentiments. I’ve my fair share of ‘innocent irish backpackers’ who think after a gutfull of piss decide they’re suddenly rocky and try to start a fight with me when i’m minding my own business. Last time i was in Dublin the first thing i saw was a guy beat the bejesus out of another with a steel bin. They were locals. Need i say more?
you can say
cunton this blog!?Only if you do it funny. TBL
The last time I experienced St Pats day in an Irish pub, which admittedly was a few years ago, I observed the common drink progression of Guinness, to the more palatable Kilkenny, followed by innumerable VBs with a dash of green food colouring.
“i got some irish blood”
translation:
I once shagged/king-hit/glassed an irish backbacker, but then agsin he/she may have been scottish/welsh/english.
Good entry, Guiness is delicious though – when the weather is cold (so not really this time of year).
Bar staff have amusedly told me how when one guy comes up an orders a guiness – everyone else wants in on the reflected cool of drinking a “tough drink” and thats all they sell for the rest of the night. I guess that’s the difference between liking Guiness and liking looking like you like Guiness.
Is it just me or has Guiness become thinner and less bitter (ie more commercialised) over the years? Anyone know if the recipe has changed? A former supervisor was irish and spent a year there, upon return she claimed that the guiness tastes better over there than here.
I think, like most other “foreign” beers, the stuff on-tap in Australia is made locally. I remember reading something years ago about the imported can with a special ball in it to create the proper froth upon opening – as close to the authentic Irish experience you can get this far from Dublin.
You would be correct.
The recipe has indeed changed… see my comment much earlier above.
I never liked dark beers, but while in Dublin was made to drink several pints of Guiness (by some very large hockey players from the RAF), and it was actually nice, like a thick, alcoholic coffee.
But even over in Holyhead, it was thinner and bitter-er. Here it’s unspeakable.
They reckon it doesn’t travel well.
PFFT. no difference between the stuff made over there and here. It’s just a toss point of saying you’ve been over there.
there IS a difference
*toss toss*
Yeeeah I know mayte. Just loike woine (if you drink that poofs juise) from France tastes the same as woine from Oz. It’s all the bloody same mayte.
Guinness has very specific standards. They make a point of it. Which is why it’s the same wherever you go. It only tastes different when it’s poured badly. Don’t delude yourself. Wine on the other hand makes a point of being different (vintage, terroir, barrel,harvest, age, etc) so why would you offer both of them as a comparison?
Only a bogan would choose wine from France over an Australian one without considering whether it was good or not.
So unless you’re the type that thinks if the same water is in a bottle it must be better or a same product has a different logo, you are basically saying ‘ dear world. I am a bogan tosser’.
Solid gold entry, a return to form!
Any entry bashing bogans which kicks off by citing the Bureau of Stats is first class in my book.
Hear Hear!
LOL. Oh TBL, you left out the most important part!
Allow me *ahem*:
“… on its first pint of Guinness, the bogan will inwardly wince at the dense black sludge in its throat, pause to compose itself, and then loudly pronounce its themed deliciousness over the surrounding din… whilst proclaiming to all within earshot that it’s “just not the same as the Guinness in Ireland”…”
Fair and true comment.
There is some truth to that though, or at least there was. Up to a few years ago it most definitely wasn’t.
The Australian made variety had more alcohol and more of an iron filings texture and coffee flavour. I loved it.
They apparently decided to make it more “authentic” and now I’m told it is a closer match to what they serve in Ireland. It’s probably cheaper to produce, too.
Could be wrong of course.
I am stunned.. an insightful comment.. combined with the fact that the bogue can not tell the difference between its locally brewed foreign labelled beer any other day of the year.
LOL. All my comments are insightful, thank you very much!
Strange – I wouldn’t have thought you would have enough experience of irish pubs to comment.
Surely your high breeding would not allow you to visit such establishments?
Do tell!
LOL. I merely extrapolated the bogue’s behaviour based on past observations – rightly it seems.
Oh. You guessed.
Fair enough.
Bogans are nothing if not predictable.
Yes, but it isn’t like Fiona to comment without having authoritative knowledge on a matter.
She may end up being wrong!
LOL. One’s knowledge can never be absolute. Simon’s point is valid, however, and I used it to (it seems) great effect. As usual.
Fiona should get a job on the TBL staff with work like that! (yes I do have a crush on her)
you remind me of that slapper at the australian newspaper who claimed to be a “colour” writer in order to defend her attempts at influencing a politician’s vote.
Good God. It was like a gassy, sweaty bogan was just leaning in and grunting those words into my ear. The horror. Keep up the good comments Fiona like this one – rather than the vanity dressed up as wit.
LOL. Don’t tell me how or what to comment.
It’s bogan to have travelled to Ireland and know the difference – or it’s bogan to be proclaiming loudly?
LOL. The proclamation. Travelling in and of itself is not bogan per se. Of course, how they undertake is a very different thing…
I’m actually suprised that TBL didn’t actually write this…
“… on its first pint of Guinness, the bogan will inwardly wince at the dense black sludge in its throat, pause to compose itself, and then loudly pronounce its perceived shitness over the surrounding din… whilst proclaiming to all within earshot that it’ll have a green dyed Carlton Draught next.”
I now know that at least one of the TBL staff work for Garnier.
Last night I saw an ad for their new product Ultimate Pro Lift-X and promoted by none other than Horse face herself. The Femmebogue is helpless against such marketing. Her smoking and tan bed wrinkles are both firmed and plumped removing them in just 2 weeks.
LOL. Is this the same company that uses Penelope Cruz to proclaim the product will “tauten” and “replump” the femme bogue’s skin?
Quite possibly Fiona, years of hard living smoothed away by miracle cream. The ad just struck me with it’s random us of X amoungst othe bogan touchstones.
They don’t just proclaim it Fiona. They have clinically proven that wrinkles are diminished by ten percent, whatever that means.
ergh I can’t drink Guiness or other black beers, a friend of mine used to drink them with a dash of raspberry in them…thats kind of like trying to hide an elephant under a hankerchief
That is called in the Barman’s trade as a Bloody Awful. Its the Stout equivalent of a Barmaids Blush…
it will be interesting to see if comments are down today because posters are at irish pubs. purely for research purposes, of course.
most of us have jobs that we have to show up for…office jobs that are really boring, hence our time spent squabbling on the TBL site
LOL. Common man doesn’t. He has a boring tradie job he has to (but probably doesn’t) show up for.
You know, it is also not beyond the realms of possibility that our CM is a high school student.
LOL. Surely even the worst government school in the most bogan area would not churn out someone so completely illiterate? Now, if you’d said primary school student…
I’d go with internee myself.
I’d go with Inmate. Of a mental asylum, that is. it’s the only way to explain his utterly incoherrent rambling.
A friend of mine who’s a teacher of 4th – 6th form high school students in Sydneys Greater West (soon to be rebranded as Sydneys X-Treme West) has told me stories of 5th formers submitting assesment essays with txt talk grammar.
I tutored a high school chappie a couple of years ago. He firmly believed that ‘spose’ was a word. Furthermore, I had to call his teacher to explain to her what onomatopoeia really meant.
My year 12 (6th form?) physics teacher corrected the entire class’s assignments from steel to steal…
You’d think he’d wise up half way through correcting the ‘smartest’ (arguable) students in the school and question himself on the spelling of the alloy?
Young adults are now applying for employment with txt talk on résumés and cover letters.
LOL. Ur company is gr8. Can 1 wrk 4u? ❤
You should see their email addresses too – who wouldn’t hire ‘sxegrl69’?
Ah well, at least employers don’t have to waste time interviewing people too stupid to obtain a respectable email address or use spellcheck (or have any common sense).
quick way to reduce the number of applications to consider.
Don’t rule out unemployment – perhaps after dragging himself out of bed at lunchtime and scraping up a breakfast bong he heads to the local library.
LOL. “Where they got books and *begin upward inflection* that!”
And the interwebs thingy.
LOL. “Youse know, the one with email!”
You mean Libry. yeah it’s got all them books and that.
Where is Common Man by the way?
Did the internet connection at the asylum break down?
A highschool student’s grammatically incorrect comments would be ripped apart like a piece of meat tossed into a cage full of salivating lions…so we’d probably notice.
I thought noticing was what we were doing right now?
I suspect the lights in your house turn on automatically when you enter each room Fiona, otherwise common man may put out a call to his tradie brethren for some ‘shocking’ rewiring next time you have any work done at your estate
CM would be a labourer not tradie. Slight difference.
I’m betting he still lives at home with 6 other siblings a few cousins and at least 5 adults
LOL. Well, there’s no real difference to me.
and possibly two ‘sprogs’ and one on the way.
to two different femme-bogans
LOL. At least one of whom resides in Moe.
and the other is a resident of Fairly womens prison…
No, I have the feeling that CM is the type of guy that gets overlooked by women, even fembogues………
incorrect i own a 3br house,But havin a light above fiona,s bath/spa fall could be arranged.Costly after hours fee though lol!
LOL. What does “br” mean? “Brick”?
like i previously stated a cockatiel has better comebacks,, fiona wanna a cracker??
did the restoration work at the mansion blow out somewhat fi?,you seem too have it in for tradies-or maybe the chippie knocked backed the rich chocolate that was offered?
Fiona has probably bumped into Common Man at some point, although without knowing it. Most of the tradies/labourers in Melbourne seem to be in Toorak. Doin’ renos n’ shit.
@A-BOMB shhhhhh but getting warmer oops i forgot the mandatory/o.c.d. LOL.
In the interests on multiculturalism, I have written a haiku in celebration of this day:
Top o the morning!
Let’s get rat-arsed by midday
and start glassing cunts.
OF multiculturalism
What an appropriate poem for the day. Add 2 more lines of verse and it’s officially a Limerick.. I put the challenge out there to all bloggers for a further 2 lines to be intergrated into Shirley Ms’ haiku.. Fiona, with your higher degree in the classics you should be able to contribute to this one..
Remind me of the rules, do we need to rhyme?
The first two lines rhyme with each other, the next two lines rhyme with each other, and the last line rhymes with the first.
Limericks are the boil on the arse of poetry. It does tie into the theme, of course, but I cannot lower myself to pen one.
LOL.
I’ve taken some poetic (pun intended) licence with your request…
So, with apologies to Shakespeare:
There was a young bogue from Australia,
Whose very existence spoke failure,
He said to his miss,
“Garna get pissed”,
She replied “what time should I bail ya?”
noice
LOL. I believe if *I* can lower myself to a rhyme more suited to a bawdy house, you most assuredly can. Your turn…
I can’t back down from a challenge:
There once was a saint named Pat,
he was a boozer and Irish n’ that,
In his honour I’ll drink,
lager resembling ink,
then spew in my giant green hat.
Well played!
In a bid to grab internet fame,
She posed as one classically trained.
She spent day and night
Trolling “Things Bogans Like”,
But she’s really a plumber called Dwayne.
I’m convinced Fiona and Mezz and Loftie and several others are in fact the same person
I’m sure in time you’ll spot a few blatant differences. In the meantime, I’ll try not to take offence to that..
perhaps it’s our little ‘avatar’ images… between Mezz & Myself, they are very similar…
That much skill, wit, and charisma, could not be contained within one bogue could it??
LOL. As I am but one person and NOT a bogue, the question is moot (or as you bogues would have it, “mute”).
Bing Bing Bing!
I think you may have something here Jo…
Its the constant feathering of each other’s nests that gave you away
I don’t know… There may be intellectuals out there that are bogan sympathisers.
Who are the others?
LOL. Hardly up to snuff. And factually miles from the truth.
Well, you can’t honestly contest the first four lines.
And who said that was about you anyway?
LOL. I can and do!
Classic stuff! The video ref will have their work cut out for them here..
I LOVE SHAZZA,,,SHAZZA FOR PM.
LOL.
CM and Shazza, cm and Shazza,
Go together like Sheryl and Gazza,
This, I tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other…
its called respecting a real lady..but your bro comment is further proof of persona dywane
Bravo Benjamin. Bravo.
LOL. Oh joy – the bogue of the great unwashed West has joined us.
LOL.LOL.LOL.LOL.LOL.LOL.
I’m impressed Fiona. I think Shakespeare would agree if he were with us today.
LOL. Well, it’s not a sonnet, but one does one’s best given time and instructional constraints.
Applause!
It’s time to celebrate St Pat’s day
But TBL says that’s not okay
So the sheep plan to stay in
And the rest of us win
Because no one wants them out anyway
I believe the term is ‘rat-faced’
Not in my haiku it isn’t.
Its her Haiku and she’ll write it how she wants to
Apologies
It’s St Paddys Day
Time to give the Bouncers a spray
Gonna get Drunk
Then glass a cunt
And pass out in the urinal tray
Simon – you and your glassings…
You’ll be able to qualify as a trade glazier soon…
It’s kind of addictive Loftie, bit like tree climbing I imagine.
I was just sent an email “St Patrick’s Day Troubleshooting Guide”
– in which there are symptoms, causes and corrective actions. Thought when I read this one:
“Beer is crystal-clear
> It’s water! Somebody is trying to sober you up
> Punch him”
It should be “glass the cunt”!
it should be. i hope you set the sender right by glassing them.
Well played Simon – Well Played…
This also has merit – Well Done! however I think Fiona wins in a photo finish here.
I want that decision refered to the video ref please.
Do we have any volunteers for TBL Video Ref? (Not you Simon – would be a conflict of interest)
I really think they’re both great and Shirley M has also now contributed further to the cause however, I think still think Fiona gets the nod for being so quick on the uptake.
Mine was in moderation for quite a while, does that help?
as if Mezz and Fiona are not the same people…I mean really
LOL. Who or what is a “Mezz”????
C’mon Fiona – It’s your alter ego. Haven’t you been following?
Or should I say one of Dwaynes alter egos..
Thanks Benjamin – you’ve succesfully made this blog page so much juicier!
LOL. I am not you and you are not me and we are not we altogether! Nor am I the egg man.
Fiona, egg man? Reference to low brow John Waters films? Curious.
I think you’ll find it’s a reference to a Lennon McCartney song, actually.
Things Bogans Like – Misheard song lyrics.
I prefer to think of Fiona watching Edith Massey screaming out for eggs. That’s nowhere near as bogan and low brow as a lennon mccartney song.
*tips hat*
I’ve had my wee moment – time to slink back into the obscurity from whence I came.
I must say, I liked Fiona’s a lot, and while Shirley loses points because St Patrick was not Irish, he just brought Christianity to Ireland, her entry was still top notch. But Simon’s has a glassing reference…
Thankyou James, I knew you were a man of good taste.
Fiona/Mezz is also James..essentially there may only be 4 individual people who actually write comments here….
Surely this is a conspiracy theory worth debunking, TLB.
LOL. How do you expect them to do that?
I am aware of who St Patrick was James. I was writing from a Bogans perspective.
Extra points in that case Shirley. But still no glassing reference.
LOL. Oh come now James, just cut to the chase and declare the other efforts to be inferior to mine.
Well no. Considering that I wrote a haiku referencing glassing cunts before all of this limerick malarkey started, I was hardly going to reference it again.
I think we have finality here – Video Ref decision goes with Simon – Condolances Fiona. Looks like your Higher Degree in the Classics didn’t come up trumps this time..
*Faces audience, bows, accepts adulation graciously*
The challenge was to integrate the haiku (which featured drinking and glassing) into a limerick, so I believe I fulfilled the criteria most effectively.
Well done indeed simon.
Oh, and here is your waterford crystal trophy…
*glass*
LOL. I shan’t accept the decision.
Better luck next time Dwayne!
LOL. Well duh…
I think you’ve seriously underestimated the proportion of Bogans in this country – at 20%. The Bogan represents the lowest common denominator. And the lowest common denominator is the majority in this country. The standard is very low here.
I am going to assume you mean Australia, not the quality people on this blog Brucey.
Thats what I think, I know at least the majority of the population of Newcastle are bogans and Newcastle is often used as a sample study of the whole of Australia.
I wasn’t satisfied with the response I got from TBL either…
Hahaha… a very incisive entry today, TBL. It brings to mind a favourite anecdote of mine. I used to work with an Irish girl while she was backpacking around Australia. We got along well and would laugh about Australian stereotypes of Irish people. She told me that one afternoon on the bus, a rather dense young bint, upon hearing her Irish accent, asked her whether she was indeed Irish, and, I kid you not, whether leprechauns were real or make-believe. Of course said bint was pure Botany Bogan.
You just can’t make this stuff up.
please tell me your friend went into an elaborate story about leprechauns.
one time I had a canadian convinced that up until the early 1980s women were banned from wearing makeup
*in Australia
I’m not so sure the Canadian is that stupid for believing you. A few months back-packing around Australia would probably leave you thinking that any backward policy or social norm was possible.
No, she just laughed.
Mind you, she believed us for a little while about Drop Bears.
This article is, once again, scarily accurate.
A very wogan mate of mine (mate o’ mine?) has invited me to an Irish pub today – at 1230 in the afternoon, oblivious to the fact that normal people have work to do and can’t take half a day off to consume copious amounts of suspiciously-coloured alcohol. Being an Italian with red hair, he sees it as his right to take today off as the aforementioned ginger points irrefutably to Irish ancestry, despite there being no evidence of this at all.
So to summarise, he is 1/365th Irish, 8/365ths Italian (as evidenced by his Ferrari/Ducati-themed clothing during the Grand Prix/MotoGP and his propensity to espouse a preference for wood-oven pizza over others) and 356/365ths NAB Australian. Truly, an enigma wrapped in a riddle.
you keep bad company
No, it just means that – according to TBL’s bogan-saturation estimations above – that I am likely to have more than 5 friends.
Why, how many do you have, Captain Statistical-Anomaly?
geez calm down no need to get worked up over a comment from a faceless person
Pretty accurate TBL. Just another excuse for the bogan to drink excessive amounts of alcohol and perpetuate it’s boganity onto the community. One of many days in the calendar yr where this is seen as an appropriate way to mark the day.. I guess it’s a good day for the rest of us to stay indoors as is every Fri / Sat night in every major polis in Australia.
True to form once again, The bogan wouldn’t know the 1st thing about the day and its historical meanings.
Ah, Paddy’s Day.
The one day of the year where everyone is apparently Irish and the one day of the year I avoid an Irish pub. Green food colouring in beer? Why? Even the bread for the bbq snags has been dyed green. Several well aimed nuclear strikes on this day and the world would be bogan free.
I’ll be at home drinking several pints of the black stuff to remind me of my times travelling around the emerald isle (the west coast is gorgeous!) and all those mates still there. Slainte!
“Several well aimed nuclear strikes on this day and the world would be bogan free” – They seem to be aware of this reality and therefore intergrate geographically. We will need to be more strategic here. I think that a few more months on TBL and some careful collaborating will result in the ultimate solution.
“We must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon”
C M Burns.
The two phrases spoken most by the bogan today will be;
Top o’ the mornin’ to ya’
and
To be sure to be sure
While drinking VB laced with green food colouring
The “To Be Sure…” will get repeated so many times until not even the fellow bogan finds it funny anymore as the alcohol consumption inevitably increases through the day.
as with most nights out on the tiles eventually the bogan won’t find anything funny anymore that’s when the glassing begins.
There’s going to be a lot of broken Guinness branded pint glasses lying around on sticky pub floors in the wee hours of tomorrow morning.
I just saw a muscled and heavily tattooed bogan wearing an Ed Hadry shirt AND a large green felt top hat walking to the local Irish pub.
A small piece of me died after seeing it.
and somewhere a solitary tear runs down a leprechaun’s face
Leprechaun? That sounds like a foreign name to me *glass*
LOL!
I’m sure most of the readers of this blog would be able to relate to the more innocent version of St Patricks day brought to you courtesy of the university bar. While still just an excuse to drink on a weekday / drink green beer (and who can’t enjoy that??), the number of wasted tradies / bogans found at a uni by its very nature is at an absolute minimum, so you can enjoy the perks of being irish for the day, without the glassings and associated crap.. ahh the good old days.
Guess you’ve never been to Newcastle Uni…or Southern Cross Uni…or any rural university for that matter.
And I for one don’t enjoy green coloured beer, the amber beauty of beer is essential to my enjoyment of it.
Funny you mention it, I have very fond memories at the GT Bar at Newcastle Uni.. There are some other occasions celebrated at newcastle uni that are very heavy on bogans / tradies fighting and glassing each othe (how non-students are allowed to attend autonomy day etc is beyond me), but in my experience st patricks day was always a pleasure..
there are so many irish pubs within walking distance of each other in Newcastle I suppose they lure the bogan away from any non-irish drinking establishment the uni may offer
Few bogans drinking at a student guild bar? You don’t know too many built environment & engineering students, do you? 🙂
Great article TBL!! Why do Bogans have to ruin everything??!!
Because – They are Bogans…
“unless Irish DNA offers a predilection towards being a bogan”
How do you mean ‘unless’.
‘0.3% of the Australian population was born in Ireland’
All working for free to air Australian Television stations as comedians and experts on reality shows.
But what other nationality can bogans talk about Aussie Rules with, and have some clue what they’re talking about?
In Europe, on their Contiki tours, on the rare occurance when they interact with some who’s not Australian, this is what they will want to tell them about.
I’m gonna have a few Guinnesses (Guinnie?) tonight, but making a conscious effort to avoid PJ O’Briens or Bridie O’Reillys, or any Irish chain pub which plays Kings of Leon on repeat
Maybe they can get that band that was on the ABC to do their version of that “Sex on Fire” song complete with Beverly Hillbilly style finger picking guitar. I haven’t laughed that hard since Sarcozy was on the news talking about the Air France plane crash of last yr.. “Le Accidant… Tragique” It was a Monty Python flashback..
Ah, St Patricks Day…the day the entire population of Mt Barker attempts to squeeze into the Brecknock Hotel.
Spent the morning listening to a bogue at work crapping on about St Patricks Day and explaining their distant Irish links. I then visited this site and saw the post. Thanks for the great laugh TBL crew, it made my day.
Try heading over the tasman for St Patricks day… I was in Auckland for it last year, and really they leave our bogans for dead when it comes to pretending that they are Irish.
this happens in America too. Boondock Saints and Dropkick Murphies may be involved
Somehow, I think I’d prefer the U2 coverband. Surely this is the one time of the year they could give that lonely and unloved Fergal Sharkey coverband a gig? A good gig these days, is hard to find.
How about that fine traditional Irish band Boyzone?
or Enya
LOL. “Thin Lizzy” for the bogues who prefer their cover bands to “kick it old skool”.
The Corrs doing Tom Jones greatest hits with an encore of The Proclaimers (pretty short encore I will admit)
The Cranberries covering the Radiators “Am i ever going to see your face again”
B*witched play My Bloody Valentines classic Loveless in full.
LOL. Do you mean “The Angels”?
Possibly, my knowledge of bogue music ie Angels, Radiators and Beatles is limited. Did Radiators do “Give me head?” So long ago, yet not long enough.
LOL. I’ve never been happier to report that I do not know.
Yet, you’ll be humming it all afternoon, to be sure.
The claim that The Beatles music is bogue is preposterous.
Upstart boy band who hogged the limelight and kept bogues entertained for generations would be more accurate. I had a childhood of listening to that shit when I could have been exposed to much more interesting, talented bands. Only thing worse was the rolling stones.
pfft.
Angels kick ass
Flogging Molly and the Pogues are the best Irish bands though
When did the Beatles become bogan music? How did Barnsie not make the list? I’m suspicious that you can actually name a Radiator’s song title.
When weren’t the Beatles bogan music? Every bogan i know thinks that loving the Beatles elevates them into the cultural echelons. Who else is buying box sets of that tedious crap? The bogue usually prefers the drug related songs, but also loves to sing along to Imagine and blame a woman (Yoko) for ruining everything. At least she had the humour to sample a dead rat in a box, which is preferable to listening to Yellow Submarine.
Clearly not worth a virtual glassing, DP. Just an idiot who decides that anything he doesn’t like is bogan. My bet is he only likes music that he (falsely) believes to be obscure and fervently bangs on about such bands at any given opportunity.
Shirley, not at all, I love a wide variety of music, from many genres, both popular, alternative and even some obscure. If you want to defend the Beatles, by all means do so. You’ve offered no defense, other than being dismissive. Just because I don’t like the Beatles doesn’t make me an idiot, nor does it make everyone that likes them a Bogan. My point is that a lot of Bogans love the Beatles, thus making it bogan music by default, if not virtue. How do I know that bogans love the beatles? Because i was raised by beatles loving bogans, went to school with beatles loving bogans and make every attempt I can to spend the rest o f my life away from beatles loving bogans.
You’re not an idiot because you don’t like The Beatles. You’re an idiot for classing their music as bogan.
For every one bogan you may know that loved The Beatles, I bet you can find 5 more who don’t love them. Bogans also love dogs, but that hardly makes dogs bogan ‘by default’.
I don’t want to launch into a convoluted defence of The Beatles, because I am sure few will want to read it. Their critical acclaim serves as enough to dismiss your opinion that they were ‘an upstart boy band who hogged the limelight and kept bogues entertained for generations’.
Thanks for clarifying why I am an idiot in your esteemed opinion.
You’re welcome.
To clarify further, your standing as an idiot (in my esteemed opinion) is limited to this particular point of view that you hold (for now, anyway).
pfft
Wow. That was quite an exchange.
Shirley, on reflection, I’m confused. Just because the Beatles have critical acclaim, my claims of their music being bogan can be dismissed? I’ve seen “critical acclaim” about the music of Pink and Kings of Leon.
What (or who) actually defines bogan music? The bogans who listen to it, the bogans who wrote it or the bogans who mass marketed it to the screaming teenagers who seem to be the predominate audiences for all three of these bands?
Regarding the dogs. Everybody loves dogs (mostly), Bogans though, love American Pit Bulls, a dog that can surely can be considered as the Bogan of the canine world.
That was very old school bogan of you vivisection to claim bogans only like Pit Bulls…
Ok. I’ve been reflecting too and I would like to apologise for calling you an idiot. I don’t agree with your opinion, but there really was no need for name calling.
Sure, Pink and The Kings of Leon have both received critical acclaim. I myself critically acclaim the first two kings of leon albums, but they sold out. Such a shame. Let’s see how many decades this acclaim can span. I am sure that you will agree that they will fade into obscurity.
The Beatles are one of the most well known and popular acts of all time. Therefore, a massive proportion of the population, including bogans, are going to love them. How they differ from artists like Pink and The Kings of Leon, however, is very evident.There was no such thing as screaming teenagers at concerts until The Beatles arrived on the scene. They did not manipulate a situation, they birthed one. The Beatles stopped touring after 1964. A move that could ultimately have diminished their popularity and money making capacity. It did not. I could go on and on, but I really don’t think this is the place for it.
The ultimate bogan music test: Find a bogue watering hole with a jukebox. Play ‘So What?’ and observe how many punters tap their feet and sing along. Play ‘Eleanor Rigby’ and do the same. (Assuming of course, that Eleanor Rigby is on the Jukebox, which I seriously doubt)
Apology accepted, and difference of opinion too! I just have a scarred childhood with a Beatles soundtrack behind it 🙂 Dont let me start on The Eagles or Dr Hook. Thanks for the mental sparring though- so much more fun than the sudoku or whatever those wii brain training games are that bogans are into. Dear god, I hope you aren’t a sudoko fan.
I am known to do the sudoku in the Australian. Sorry to disappoint you. 😉
I too was raised on The Beatles but I guess it was a positive experience for me.
The Eagles on the other hand…..
The Radiators are Aussie as and did do You give me head.
I know radiators are aussie, i assumed that as Proclaimers are scottish and Tom Jones is welsh, we could liberties in our Irish cover bands song set.
Shit, thought they were Irish as well. Stuffed that up!
WTF. Thin Lizzy just came up on my iPod after i typed that
another great band
No sense of pop/rock history. Better hope there aren’t any musical police out there picking up on key text; you’ll cop a blog glassing over the Beatles – and justifiably. Perhaps stick to to the Radiators doing Beatle’s covers.
I think you may find that’s an Angels song..
Both the Angels and Radiators were iconic bogue bands of the 80s. You’re thinking of the Radiator song “Gimme Head” which would also be quite hilarious if performed by The Cranberries..
Well they do suck.
They do indeed. I can’t stand it when traditional bogans (mullets/flanelette etc) find a duke box containing songs from either of these bands and start their nostalgia trip singing along en masse out of key and slurring. I encountered this once in a somewhat respectable establishment and left immediately for the place 2 doors down. The staff of this place were all standing at the bar with jaws hanging so it would appear that it was somewhat uncommon at this particular establishment..
Actually Mezz I was double entrendreing about giving head and The Cranberries.
The Proclaimers always seem too get a guernsey as well even though they’re Scots
And, from reading the description “a patently hopeless U2 cover band”, I’d say the good gig was still unfound…
Can anyone else imagine the bogues rocking away to The Pogues?
Please no! I love the pogues!
The very idea of it upsets me to the point of dipsomania!
I only meant on St Patrick’s Day. Otherwise, surely they would dismiss anything involving banjos as worthy of a glassing.
I always wondered why one of my faves ‘If I sgould fall from grace…’ wasn’t a popular singalong with bogans? Probably just can’t understand the lyrics?
*should!*
Guitarist Phil Chevron once said the 2nd verse is specifically about Aboriginal Australians… the bogues wouldn’t approve, lol
LOL. Indeed I can – they’re dentally related.
A friend and I were recently discussing an ideal line up for a music festival. The whole idea was to create a line up that would not attract ANY bogans as it’s usually the bogue element in the crowd that spoils it for everyone else. Portishead would headline obviously and Nick Cave would appear. Fergal Sharkey – Haven’t heard that name in a while…
They would still go. Bogans have an uncanny ability to begin liking something they know nothing about at the drop of a hat. Alas, the music festival has been ruined forever.
I’d really hate to accept this as a reality but I think you may be right.
Perhaps if there were two festivals in the same city on the same day, one with P!nk and Nickleback and the other with artists with credibility, you might get your wish.
only if P!nk had one concert only…
Good point. And that would never happen.
Put in Tom Waits, I can’t imagine bogans liking old gravel guts.
Diamanda Galas, Jayne County, Mazzy Star would work well worth Portishead and Nick Cave. Diamanda could open, clear a room of bogans in seconds, leaving Jayne County to follow in case a few where in the toilets or tempted to return. Follow with the rest and have a great night. Pray Meatloaf is playing close by so they don’t get tempted to congregate on the streets.
Oooh, cant resist a fantasy festival lineup. modest mouse, Art Brut, Kick Bong, Presets, Antix, LCD soundsystem, DFA, Happy Mondays, King Crimson, Nick Cave, PJ Harvey, Radiohead, Silversun Pickups, Talking Heads, Dandy Warhols, Chemical Brothers, The Fall, Thievery Corporation, Zero 7, Sonic Youth, The Pixies, Underworld, Stan Ridgeway, Space Tribe, Wizzy Noise, Kasabian, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, Bjork and Neil Diamond. That’ll Fukm.
Done really well there but bogans like The Presets.
The Presents stood out to me too. Perhaps they could be the mystery performers, left off any released line up.
Presets*
I love presents though 🙂
Nice.
But could you imagine the clashes with the line up time table?
I think you’ll find that the drop kick murphy’s are a great band!…I also enjoyed the movie Boondock Saints…if ever there was a way to celebrate the irish these two tokens would be a good start.
as a literary wanker i do my Irish fetishism/beer drinking on Bloomsday
fot??i had you uncovered rachel maree cohan didnt i,,when is sentencing?
LOL. Cometh the (half) hour, cometh the (common) man…
Jo, Scary how CM appears when Fiona summons him. Bit like bringing out The Gimp.
LOL. A rather smelly and functionally useless gimp.
“Barely hominoid, milk-fed Gimp” springs to mind…
Yes sten i saw that news articule too,But unlike a special few my last name does not end with pingping?
maybe he’s part of her “many personalities” conspiracy also…although he doesn’t feather her nest so its unlikely
Just to throw us off the scent?
Didnt you check the times last night??not very bright are we
On cue – every day!
Been an gone,, lmfao at ben,s work an welcome back shazza
being drunk at any time is bogan.
Oh bollocks.
nope. won’t bite.
NEVER a good look.
…which is not to say I don’t enjoy drinking. I am blessed to live in the midst of Australia’s premier wine districts and am very fond of the grape. Or a G&T on a hot day. The odd soothing ale. A fine single malt. Canadian Rye. etc, etc. But getting pissed is juvenile, messy and dangerous. And the sower of all true boganism.
damn. I bit.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
It’s been many years since I was last drunk, but if you do so in safety with your friends, it’s no bad thing on occasion.
When your drunkenness affects others, that’s bad.
I’m not disputing that it’s not a good look. And drunkenness is definitely something bogans like, however it’s a BIG stretch to suggest drunk = bogan.
you just make sure you stay where you are CBF, im guessing you would’nt last too long amongst the great unwashed
Ok I am completely confused now.
St Patrick’s Day is also on the list of Stuff White People Like:
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/03/16/89-saint-patricks-day/
Does this mean that we’re going to see veganism, grammar and… um… Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy on TBL at some point?
Much as we worship Stuff White People Like, we’ve yet to see many latte-sipping, Mac-owning vegans getting hammered and proclaiming their faux-Irishness at the Dan O’Connell, our local Irish haunt, that is overwhelmed with bogans on this most besmirched of days. TBL
Nice attempt at a piss take.
yes, the opposites.
Pity #100 didn’t get a mentioned considering his affection for the Irish.
Hmmm, just looked at the Australian Bureau of Statistics data on ancestry from the 2006 Census.
http://www.censusdata.abs.gov.au/ABSNavigation/prenav/ViewData?action=404&documentproductno=0&documenttype=Details&order=1&tabname=Details&areacode=0&issue=2006&producttype=Census%20Tables&javascript=true&textversion=false&navmapdisplayed=true&breadcrumb=LPTD&&collection=Census&period=2006&productlabel=Ancestry%20by%20Country%20of%20Birth%20of%20Parents&producttype=Census%20Tables&method=Place%20of%20Usual%20Residence&topic=Ancestry&
1,803,741 people indicated that they had Irish ancestry, out of 19,855,292 people enumerated by the 2006 Census. That makes roughly 9%. It’s the third largest ancestry group found at that Census, behind “English” and the rather amorphous “Australian” classification.
One thing I’ve noticed among certain bogans related to my family by marriage is just how persistent this Irish self-identification is. Sure, their Irish progenitors arrived in Australia in the 19th century to escape the potato blight or their English landlords – but they will still show pride in their Irishness and celebrate March 17. These bogans are also rather devoted to the Catholic faith, not out of any deep convictions with regards to the theological soundness of Catholicism, but because it’s a badge of their Irish-Australianhood.
I think this resilience of Irish self-identification, and the fact it’s the third-largest enumerated ancestry group in this country, is the reason why St Patrick’s Day is so popular among bogans, despite the fact that few Irish-born people live in this country.
If you want an excellent portrayal of old-school bogans with Irish heritage, take a look at Ruth Park’s “The Harp In The South” trilogy of novels – about inner-city Irish-Australian bogans in the 1940s, before the Housing Commission forcibly dumped them in sterile, isolated housing estates out on the suburban fringe. Compulsory reading for anyone interested in the history of the bogan community in this country!
LOL. This is not a purely Australian phenomenon. No matter where one is in the world, the self-identification as Irish (no matter how small the portion) is strong.
Time to get all intellectual…I read ‘The Harp in the South’ many moons ago when in Year 12. I quite enjoyed the book, however I would not say it is a portrayal of bogans.
I would argue that it is an accurate portrayal of working class Australian society. Being working class did not (and still does not) automatically make one a bogan. Also the book is based during an era (the 1930’s or 40’s) which pre-dates boganity. I admit that the main characters in the story are flawed and could be construed as bogan, especially when looking at them through 21st Century eyes. However I see them as stereotypical products of their environment and the time in which they lived. It was an era of a narrow minded inward looking Anglo-centric society where the White Australia Policy prevailed. In the book the father ruled the house, always had the last word and even while money was tight, there was always enough to buy beer at the pub after work. While his wife did not have like her husbands drunkedness, she stoically stayed silent. Emotions and sex was not talked about amongst the family, especially sex before marriage, so when the daughter became pregnant, she had no-one close she could turn to. The family’s intolerance of the Chinese grocer and the Jewish boy are all because of how the characters had been shaped by the times and the social and political environment.
Male autocracy in the household, hidden and unspoken emotions, anti-social drunken behaviour and racial intolerance were behaviours which were prevalent amongst most people across all social classes in the time in which ‘The Harp in the South’ is set, not just the working class. While amongst non-bogans in todays society these behaviours are deemed as unacceptable, they do prevail (along with uplanned/unwanted pregancy out of wedlock) amongst bogans.
Yeah… I don’t know if I’d necessarily describe Ruth Parke’s characters as bogans though. Salt of the earth types maybe, but not bogans.
I have laughed hard at the amount of people, over the history of this blog that lay claim to being related to bogans……… only by marriage of course. Are they in bogan denial?
LOL. As well as a state of mind, that’d make a wonderful name for a new housing development: “Bogan Denial”.
Considering that bogans form a plurality, if not a majority, of people in this country, it should not surprise you that many people on this forum have bogans in their families, whether related by blood or by marriage.
I have bogan relatives, both old school and new age, by blood and by marriage. That is not a cause of shame. I don’t think one should be judged by one’s relatives. Rather, I derive some pride from the fact that despite coming from a bogan area, and being surrounded by bogans as I grew up, I didn’t end up a bogan – quite the opposite.
If you don’t have bogans somewhere in your lineage and your family are Australian-born, you are a statistical fluke!
Noooo, surely not on this site. Start counting the statisical flukes. ‘Old School’ and ‘New Age’ – is there speciation occuring amongst bogans?
Urbanreverie jumps straight on the counter attack assuming that it/he/she was the subject of my last post. Bogan denial.
Deep denial Lee.
Tears for Fears with Spandau Ballet opening in 2010 will have the desired effect of cornering any 80’s Bogan for the duration. Maybe you’ll be able to walk into an Ed Hardy store without any crowds…
I’m sort of Irish. My grandfather was born in Co. Wicklow but left Ireland in his teens to find work in Scotland before the war. I myself was born in England and very rarely claim my Irishness. But all the same, I hate this day when all these people pretend to be Irish. I have legitimate Irish blood and I don’t do it – I don’t care if you might have ancestors who came from Ireland in the 1840s, you’re not Irish. Stop doing a horrible imitation of an Irish accent too.
You are no more Irish than the bogans you speak of, Rhys. You just live or lived closer.
guys I’m in a pub right now drinking guinness then Irish whiskey later. have so since 8am.
I’m sure there’ll be some bogans marching in after 1 to fuck everyone’s day up.
Well since this entry might get some traffic today, here are some classics for your enjoyment:
disclaimer: no claim to be irish!
I never go out on St Paddy’s due to bogans. I stay home with Bushmills and the Pogues, get blisteringly drunk, sing Kevin Barry, fall into bed cursing the world. Much more enjoyable. And authentic.
It seems hipsters like it too: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/03/16/89-saint-patricks-day/
As for Guinness, I drank it once. Once!
So if hipsters and bogans like St Patrick’s Day who doesn’t?
It’s not WHO likes it magicmunt but the WAY they like it. Remember what makes a bogan a bogan is they have to do everything in as loud, garish, narcissistic and obnoxious way possible. Normal decent people ( ie non bogans ) don’t feel a need to expressive themselves in a way that upsets or offends other people. The bogan trait is to do just that.
Unfortunately, as I write the bogan population in this country appears to be ever steadily creeping upwards.