#71 – Overseas Day

25 01 2010

The bogan is a beacon of tolerance. It is open to the cultures and traditions from parts of the world it has little understanding of, and enthusiastically embraces them without fear or favour. The bogan just wants to incorporate foreign cultures into the bogan Australian identity, and feels so fulfilled about doing so that it now has a cherished day of celebration for this process. The bogan calls this “Australia Day”, a day where it celebrates all of the things that it has stolen from other cultures, and attempted to claim native title on.

The bogan’s quintessentially Australian day starts early, with a true blue scene: some beers on the couch. The first record of beer being brewed was in ancient Mesopotamia in the 6th millennium BC. The bogan is familiar with modern day Mesopotamia, for it is mainly Iraq. The couch rose to prominence 2000 years ago, when an African named Cleopatra considered it a good way to relax. The term “true blue” most likely originated 500 years ago in Coventry, England, where cloth dyers made good blue fabric.

The bogan will then briefly listen to the Hottest 100 countdown. In the last two years, it voted a British and an American band as its respective Australia Day favourites. Who will it be this year? Phoenix from France? More British Muse? The British Mumford & Sons? Bored with listening to songs it doesn’t normally hear on Triple M, the bogan returns to the couch with a beer. A bogan could not point out the Czech Republic on a map, but Czechs out-Australianise the bogans by drinking 40% more beer.

There’s a cricket match on TV, a sport invented by the English in the 1500s. Australia is playing the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, where cricket was being played half a century before the First Fleet arrived in Sydney. Displeased with the difficult to pronounce Pakistani names ruining his Australia Day, the bogan becomes restless and hungry. Barbie time.

The term Barbeque is derived from Barabicu, which means “sacred fire pit” in the language of inhabitants of the Bahamas prior to 500 years ago. The bogan will place some Aussie lamb on the BBQ, a species first farmed and domesticated in Iraq. It washes down the lamb with more beer. By now, the bogan is feeling really dinky di. Scholars are split as to whether the term dinky di was adopted from Chinese goldminers “Ding kam” (meaning “top gold”), or from the East Midlands region of England, meaning “hard work”.

By this time of day, the bogan is full of beer, Mumford & Sons has won the Hottest 100, and his dinkum trusty dog has taken to pulling lamb chops off the Barbie with its teeth, just like the bogan’s dad’s dog used to do. There is 8,000 year old archeological evidence of domesticated dogs in China. Exhausted after all that patriotism, the bogan scuttles to its Chinese mattress and passes out. It has been a very big and nationalistically satisfying Australia day for the bogan, who has once again successfully defended his unique way of life from the onslaught of immigrants.


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211 responses

25 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It’s Mumford and Sons. Triple J accidentally posted it on their website last week. Nevertheless, lesser people, enjoy your countdown.

25 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I guess I should have read the whole thing before posting… 😦

25 01 2010
Bogue

That’s the trouble with you pushy cultured types, always in a hurry.

25 01 2010
Linda

Fiona – its the long weekend! why soooo early on the internet?!

25 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I was up early for a swim in one of my pools and checked my email just as this missive arrived.

26 01 2010
Ghengis

I would’ve thought that one of your servants checked your emails for you, and personally read them to you

25 01 2010
Ironhalo

‘I wonna if the boss will be suss if I call in and say I’m sick today…nah fuck him, he’s dumb as!’

25 01 2010
Legal for Now

Very weak post.
I have enjoyed almost all of the others

25 01 2010
jones

so funny because it’s so true.

25 01 2010
Tubesteak

Of the many Australia Day posts in other websites eg The Punch, I was wondering how TBL would differentiate itself from the apologists and the nationalists.

I think TBL have done splendidly. Original. Funny. Shows the grab-bag of slogans and stolen traditions that is Australiana

25 01 2010
John Vardanega

Well yeah, but stolen, or at least derived, traditions are a part of most any modern (in the historical sense) country. As Johnny-come-latelys on the global scene we were only ever really going to be Oasis B-sides to the rest of the world’s Beatles tunes.

But then contrived Australiana isn’t a whole lot more annoying than something like your proud Anglo-Australian Francophile (We speak français now, donchaknow?) attempting to latch onto something a little more unconventionally European. One’s a suburban smartass, the other an urban tosspot. But both are insecure wankers in the larger sense.

If it’s one thing I don’t terribly mind about Australia is the lack of a truly determinable national or social identity, which necessitates that people seek out an individual purpose and ideal. And that in itself can’t be a bad thing.

25 01 2010
dizzy

“we were only ever really going to be Oasis B-sides to the rest of the world’s Beatles tunes”

abosolute gold.

25 01 2010
dizzy

**absolute** !!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

25 01 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Dont worry LfN. Not too many days until high school goes back…

25 01 2010
berihebi

Nice work TBL. Don’t forget too that the bogan speaks ‘fucken English’ like all proper Aussies. Have a good day off.

25 01 2010
Adam

So because we’ve only been a country for 200 years, we are supposed to have ‘created some new animals to eat’… if it was winter, we’d all be sitting around watching Aussie Rules – however you would find some weird reference to it being a game evolved from somewhere else and not being Australian. So, should we as Australians only vote for Australian acts in the Hottest 100?

The wheels have fallen off at TBL. This is by far the worst post of the lot. Take some time off and really think about the true bogan and what made this site great in the first couple of months.

The fact that that it’s not an Australian animal is fine, but the bogan has managed to convince itself that it needs to defend its grab bag of foreign habits as Australian, and then keep foreigners out so that they don’t come bringing their foreign habits. Anyway, you’re being a bit sooky. Chook’s rooks had better be back this year. TBL

25 01 2010
berihebi

“Take some time off and really think about the true bogan and what made this site great in the first couple of months.”

Christ that’s a rather heavy reprimand for a blog that is just here to spread a bit of elitist humour at others expense. Go back to work if you don’t like it.

25 01 2010
FT

I’m a bit undecided on this one. TBL make a good point – bogans don’t often think about the origins of “Aussie traditions” – however Adam makes just as good a point – i.e. we’re still a very young country, so it’s a bit harsh to criticise our traditions on the basis that they aren’t technically ours.

All of that aside, I think you’ve had stronger blogs, TBL. Australia Day is not inherently bogan, although it is probably celebrated more vehemently by bogans than others. And I suppose, in your defence, you have done a decent job of summing up the typical bogans Australia Day celebrations (even if you did forget to mention the huge drinking session the night before, coz any public holiday deserves a booze-fuelled “Eve”).

25 01 2010
Bogue

I had a sneaking feeling that ‘Australia Day’ would be a target, I guess it’s refreshing to not hear the usual ‘Invasion Day’ rhetoric, but I’m afraid I’m pretty jaded with the perenial bashing of our national public holiday. Bogans will be calling sickies by the ute-load today though, having not been forward thinking enough to book the day off, and in spite of their boss (who is an authority figure and therefore to be dispised).

By the way, the Japanese have stolen almost every scrap of their ancient culture from Chinese, so better let them know they are not allowed to celebrate any of it. Italians didn’t invent coffee, Europeans didn’t invent soccer, American did invent the know universe, we could go on and on about who really owns the right to celebrate what, until we find the original single celled organism and ask permission for the right to do so.

Hottest 100 is 100% bogan…Mumford & Sons only gets a gong because they used the work ‘fucked’, which appeals to bogan so much they are willing to ignore the fact that the band is playing a banjo. “Besides, the missus likes ’em”.

Woo! Bring on Australia Day!

26 01 2010
Carlos the Jackal

Why would a bogan get in on ‘Invasion Day’? That would mean the bogan would have to cast aside its prejudices against Aboriginal people (“I’m not racist, but…”) and accept that they were here before white people.

Perhaps the bogan is sort-of commemorating the Rum Rebellion of 1808 – by drinking Bundy and Coke by the kilolitre.

Oh, and – SHOCK HORROR – January 26th is also the national holiday of India (another country that has been playing cricket before Australia was even colonised, with a national team full of players with names that are difficult for the bogan has difficulty pronouncing)…

26 01 2010
Bogue

No, ‘Invasion Day’ rhetoric is the opposite, it is hype the cultural cringe to spoil everyone’s party. I received my yearly ‘Invasion Day’ shame text message from a ‘friend’ of mine today…I didn’t have the heart to tell him it appeared as if the Aboriginal family across the street from me were celebrating too. Should I do the right (or white?) thing and tell them they can’t celebrate because of his shame? We could expand on this subject indefinately, but suffice to say, as much as bogans seize our national day and attempt to spoil it, so do other parties. I would prefer the date be changed (but moving it to 1st January would rob us of a public holiday!) to circumvent some of this angst.

28 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

the yearly clamour to guilt white Australia on Australia day is making me indifferent to the barrows they push.IT is australia Day, a day to drop the self concious “oh my gods the world is WATCHING UUUUUSSSSS” self obsession and just kick back and enjoy the fact we are seriously blessed in Australia compared to many other countries.Instead we have the usual mob trottig out their “should we change the flag, the anthem, become a reupblic, change the date, the day, the meaning of Australia day, remember the Aborrrriginals PLEASE” etc etc etc etc that we get EVERY single Australia day.

28 01 2010
Bogue

To be honest, I think changing a few things might be the best way to improve people’s attitudes long term. It will be the only way to confront and unite people on these issues. Of course, there will no doubt be a faction who will resist change, so we might have two Australia Days for w while!

My biggest beef with the Australia Day spoilers as a whole, is not their agenda, but their apparent lack of solutions. People like my SMS warrior friend (who is not indigenous BTW) are usually the one’s who speak the loudest, but do absolutely nothing. I see it more as a cry for attention.

25 01 2010
Peter of Kensington

I wondered how TBL would approach Australia Day, and I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised. Although not perfect, it shows a move in the right direction, back towards satire and creativity.

Although, I expect most people to be disappointed, as they would rather simple posts that bash the Bogan.

26 01 2010
Sam

“I’m not an pompous knob end…but”

26 01 2010
Lee

“knob end” he he he he!

26 01 2010
Pete

I heard a similar reference to “party helmet” recently, not bad.

26 01 2010
Lee

Oh you poor, poor people. What did you lot do today?

26 01 2010
Lee

This comment was meant to be down the end of the list of rantings.

25 01 2010
Al Z

I think you’ll find the criticism isn’t directed at the traditions themselves, but at the bogans’ misplaced pride in the ‘Australian-ness’/uniqueness of them.

25 01 2010
Indi

Quite, the collection of pilfered traditionscould as easily be turned into a celebration of multi-culturalism . . . Make your own identity, kids!

25 01 2010
BG

The criticism is not levelled at celbrating traditions that we have adopted and embraced as our own – it is the celebration of these traditions while simultaneously resisting the influence of foreign cultures by way of an anti-immigration/ultra nationalist stance that has been, quite rightly, lampooned

And now i shall endure the rest of my work day that I was not dishonest enough to pull a sickie on, and prepare to have tomorrow’s music festival ruined by demands that i kneel before countless Australian Flags and/or Southern Cross tatts…

25 01 2010
jimmy

You’re missing the point TBL is making…

They’re not criticising bogans for having borrowed traditions, they’re highlighting the irony of bogans being so adamant about resisting foreign habits today, when all bogan ideals have ultimately derived from foreign habits in the past.

25 01 2010
Bogue

I think that’s a trait common to almost every culture.

25 01 2010
Loftie

Quite the contrary Adam…

Australia is a relatively young country (white settled Australia that is)… So we have adapted foreign ideas and tried to make them our own… What TBL is trying to point out is : The simple bogue will argue that his/her drunken Australia Day bbq is ‘all aussie’ and ‘true blue’ without considering that most activities have origins based overseas…

JJJ hottest 100 has had Australian winners 6 times in the past 10 years… Proving that a majority of times the winner is infact Australian…

Adam – can you name anything that is in fact a completely Australian thing to do on Australia Day??

I think I can…
Being Bogan on Australia Day…
There is something completely Australian about being BOGAN on Australia day. Maybe the day is full of activities that have roots in other countries… But it is 100% Australian Bogan to be inherently ignorant of these facts and claim stuff as our own…
Its part of Bogan DNA to claim things as our own ideas… Thats what us Bogues do…

So I will follow TBL’s Australia Day plans almost identically tomorrow, and stand up and be proud to be BOGAN…

Aussie Aussie Aussie

26 01 2010
Mark

err….even “Aussie Aussie Aussie” is foreign, it’s derived from a Cornish chant “Oggy Oggy Oggy”

25 01 2010
jones

truth hurting a few folk. australia day is a disgrace. way too many blues over nothing. oh…and leave the flag on a pole and not on some bogan’s neck.

25 01 2010
Tubesteak

Not all of us would be watching that bastardized version of Gaelic football.

Those of us in NSW only watch that when the Swans are winning, and only then if we are the sort inclined to jump on a bandwagon after we have scrambled around and found our old St George Dragons colours to go and wave them about.

We northerners prefer the game of Rugby League. That breakaway sport from Rugby Union.

We will watch union if it is against South Africa or the All Blacks (not the club games because they are boring) then we will drive home in our X3s with Michael Buble in the cd player. (apologies to Sam De Brito for plagiarising one of his old posts)

25 01 2010
Bogue

Bastardised Gaelic football? I think you’ll find it’s called Marngrook, and certainly doesn’t owe anything to the Gaelic (apart from the new recruitment zone called Ireland)…it’s as original an Australian sport as you’ll ever get.

25 01 2010
Muz

It is bastardised Gaelic football!

This Marngrook caper is a concerted attempt to rewrite Australian Rules history by making it somehow aligned with the original inhabitants and therefore more Australian than any other sport here. This argument was never put forward 10 years ago but it’s being heard more and more often now.

It’s time this urban legend/crap was put to bed before it assumes a life of it’s own. Heres one link though there are dozens if you care to look. http://www.ausport.gov.au/participating/indigenous/games/archive/individual_games/ball_games/marn-grook.pdf

25 01 2010
Bogue

Arguing that your preferred brand of foreign sport is superior is also a favoured bogan past-time.

25 01 2010
Muz

I’m not arguing preferred brands of sport, I’m trying to knock this bastard rumour on the head before it gains traction. (I suspect it’s a losing battle.)

As a soccer player and supporter I’ve already copped every insult and disparaging remark possible. ‘Sheilas Wogs and Pooftas’ by Johnny Warren pretty much summed it all up.

As an aside I head this the other day. ‘You know Australia has changed when you’ve got a wog running the AFL and an anglo running the soccer.’

25 01 2010
Bogue

Cripes, it’s a bit late to be bemoaning changing Australia using wog/AFL and anglo/soccer comparisons, that probably first occurred 40 years ago. Hmmm…I’d like to see Johnny Warren call Kevin Muscat a ‘poofta’, that might invent a new blood sport!

I’m afraid you’re up against a tidal wave proving Marngrook and AFL aren’t related, it’s based of some fairly solid (although circumstantial, to the best of my knowledge) evidence. Of course, there would be AFL fans who’d like to think the game doesn’t owe anything to the local natives.

25 01 2010
Lee

I always thought AFL was something invented to keep the cricket players fit during the off season.

25 01 2010
Muz

It was. And refer above post. Despite Bogue’s assertions that ‘it’s based on some fairly solid evidence’ nary a wit or whiff of some sort of a reference to back it up.

As I said previous do a little research and you’ll see the link is non-existent.

It’s a deliberate obfuscation of the facts to try and rewrite history and make AFL more AUSSIE than any other sport.

It’s a bastardized version of Gaelic football, pure and simple.

25 01 2010
Bogue

Well, it is THE Aussie sport, no matter how you’d like to twist it. There are few games in the world that have a higher patronage, and AFL’s ground breaking coaching and fitness techniques reflect the highly paid professional nature of the business. 😉

26 01 2010
AJ

the bastardised version of gaelic is just as tenuous link as that to ‘marngrook’. Don’t ‘manning clarke’ football.

25 01 2010
Bogue

That’s the popular rumour, and it probably was. The basis of the game was reportedly taken from Marngrook after the code’s ‘founder’ Tom Wills spent many years living with Aboriginal tribes just prior to moving to Victoria. Gaelic football has never rated a mention in the code’s history, until an adaption of the Irish game was introduced for an Australia v Ireland ‘International Rules Series’ in the 1980’s (although an earlier version of the game was played in the late 1960’s). Anyways, when did TBL become a sporting history lesson???

25 01 2010
Muz

It became an issue when you and your AFL friends in the media tried to perpetuate a myth that simply did not happen.

Do yourself a favour and click on the link above and just type Margrook into google. It’s not hard. The aboriginals used to try and catch a ball. On that basis you may as well say they invented basketball, netball, rugby league and union and american football.

Christ Almighty do a little research.

And I won’t be drawn on the relevant merits of any sport.

25 01 2010
Muz

I’ll even help you.

Origins of Aussie Rules.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origins_of_Australian_rules_football

25 01 2010
Bogue

Wiki’s a good reference for this sort of thing, but interestingly, it doesn’t support you agruement any more than mine. In fact, the top of the list for earliest recordings of the game is particularly interesting. 🙂

I didn’t realise there was a feeling of jealousy amongst NRL fans over the game’s indigenous links, but then, NRL is a world away for me (I probably know more about Gaelic Football…hehe).

25 01 2010
Muz

Nobody was bemoaning anything. It was an observation that I heard that I thought was worth repeating. Nothing more, nothing less.

And yes Kevin Muscut is a hard nut but 90% of Victorians will think he’s a poof just because he plays that fucking wog ball game.

25 01 2010
Muz

Here, a direct cut and paste. How you can use that wiki entry to defend your position is beyond me but there is none so blind as those that will not see.

‘In its official account of the game’s history for its 150th celebrations, however, the AFL dismissed Wills as an inventor of the game and does not recognise any connection to traditional indigenous games. This stance was not without controversy. (Refer “The Founder of the Game” [below].)’

25 01 2010
hel

How can you use a cut and past wiki to defend anything other than that the internet can produce a great deal of misinformation that people automatically believe is factual, especially with a banner that looks a bit like some sort of academia publication. That is why you cannot use wiki when doing research.

As an aside, I just got back from the shops and it was horrible, hundreds of bogans with their carts overflowing, directly proportional to the overflow from their muffin tops and g-string line, with meat, meat, more meat, BBQ chips, meat, chicken (it’s not real meat mate), firestarters (god help us) and meat.

I offered to work Australia Day to earn good money and laugh at drunk people, I was at the shop buying chicken necks for my puppies, I felt like the ultimate bogan, maybe they saw my tiny basket filled only with chicken necks and the bogan felt sympathy for me, they thought I was the most bouge of the bouge. Impoverished to the point I could only afford nearly out of date chicken necks to throw on my, no doubt, open pit BBQ or converted 44 gallon drum while drinking warm home brew since they cut the electricity off last week. Maybe they will lift a glass to me tomorrow, the true aussie battler who cannot even get the electricity on to watch the footy, never mind debate its origins.

25 01 2010
Muz

If wikipedia is not good enough for you then go to any number of other sites that will parrot exactly the same line. Failing that buy the official history as put out by the AFL and you will be enlightened.

Even the great historian Geoffrey Blainey refutes the aboriginal connection.

Friggin hell!

25 01 2010
spam

Australian Aborigines invented AFL

25 01 2010
Muz

I hope you are taking the piss? I assume by your user name you are.

In case you aren’t do a little research and you will find that the aboriginal ‘invention’ of AFL is tenuous at best, non-existent at worst.

It is the bogans latest weapon and last retreat in an argument about whose football code is better if you’re sily enough to get involved. “yeah, well get fucked you bunch of kaaarnts, you can’t more Australian than AFL, the fucking abos invented it and ya carnt get more Aussie than that!’

While I’m at it can we have a post on the cringeworthy ‘Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi, Oi Oi.’ In fact that could fit into the post above as it itself was stolen from the Welsh ‘oogie oogie oogie’. More borrowed Kultcha!

26 01 2010
Freddo

I second what Muz says. That is exactly what I was taught at high school in the mid 90s, before we played a game of gaelic footbal in PE.

This was at a very multicultural high school in Sydney. The bogans all seem to head to the local catholic colleges in my area.

25 01 2010
brad

only true patriots play the home grown game,not some English public school buggery mock-up

25 01 2010
Muz

There you go. Proved my point.

If you don’t play AFL you’re a poof and, and hear it is folks, UN-ORSTRAYLYN!!!

25 01 2010
brad

so you disagree that afl is not a purely Australian sporting pursuit,where upon the code of rules have been established only in Australia,rather it is just a hybrid of Gaelic Football,thats like saying Grid-iron isnt a US sport its just a hybrid of rugby,if we used your logic all ball sports are a cheap imitation of the first Egyptians who inflated a sheeps gut.Thats the point i was making!

25 01 2010
hel

interesting point, the Egyptians also used sheeps intestines as rudimentary condoms as well as balls. Sex and football, it has been a common link since the Egyptians. Wayne Carey 2000BC

25 01 2010
brad

i stand vindicated thankyou hel you obviously find this footy talk an interesting sideline too the relevant tbl post for the day

25 01 2010
hel

I just like adding random facts to pointless debates to annoy people. I did share my pre Overseas Day experience above too 😀

25 01 2010
hel

Personally I prefer soccer *ducks to avoid barrage of abuse*

25 01 2010
Lee

Tubesteak, the rugby is shit mate and it is only the kiwis and private school toffs that watch it!

25 01 2010
Adam

Probably a bit sooky as there is plenty of Bogan in me – and will definitely surface tomorrow. I understand your points with ‘traditions’, I think the tangent was a little too thin to be traveling along… ie. the Cricket not being invented in Australia and the JJJ Hottest 100 artist nationality reference. Keep pounding out the blogs, they provoke some great discussion!!

And yeah, Chook’s Rooks will be returning in 2010! 😉

26 01 2010
Josh

If the Hottest 100 was dominated by Aussie acts then we’d hear how all the The Bogan likes is pub rock and that they refuse to acknowledge music from outside of Australia.

Perhaps the authors didn’t get invited to any Hottest 100 parties this year.

25 01 2010
Turkey Lurkey

I think you should have made this about “overseas days” in the workplace/office, where everyone is asked to bring a dish from their homeland to share with the team. We get curries and samosas from the Indian staff, fresh spring rolls from the Vietnamese staff, and invariably, lamingtons or party pies from Aussie (bogue) staff.

25 01 2010
Bogue

Make sure you increase your popularity with your colleagues by giving them a sermon on the origins of lamingtons and party pies.

27 01 2010
Turkey Lurkey

And I suppose leaving passive aggressive comments on a blog about bogans is increasing your popularity? Tosspot.

27 01 2010
Bogue

Oh dear, are we getting a bit annoyed? Tisk, tisk…you sound like a highly unpopular individual, so my comments probably don’t appy.

27 01 2010
Turkey Lurkey

You win at the internet!

27 01 2010
Bogue

In your face, Lurkey.

25 01 2010
mistress

Fantastic. I’m sharing this one after having been berated for my criticisms of Australia Day

25 01 2010
Going Bogue

I think the guys have confused the terms “Bogan” and “Australian” today. An easu mistake to make of course.

25 01 2010
jay

oh dear, perhaps the following is of interest as we approach australia day:

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/newshome/6715989/patriotism-etched-forever/

maybe it’s now becoming un-australian not to have a tattoo; but with lots of gumnuts.

25 01 2010
berihebi

(the southern cross tattoo) “was often adopted by “working class, disaffected males wanting to make a statement about the country”, he said.”

I think that’s academic speak for bogans.

25 01 2010
jay

i’m glad professor forsey was able to clarify the wearing of tatts. i had previously thought a tatt meant:
i am stupid; i got really pissed; me mates made me; me mates got ’em too; i am really stupid; i am a rool aussie; and you choose which really applies.

25 01 2010
S-Man

“While the business anticipated an influx of Southern Cross requests on Australia Day, it had become too mainstream for some people, who were instead getting detailed custom work depicting Ned Kelly, Heath Ledger, gumnuts and koalas.”

Heath Ledger!!! LOL

25 01 2010
Bogue

That’s a great combination for a tattoo.

25 01 2010
Indi

50/50 – half Ned helmet, the other half Heath’s face, and gumnut earrings?

25 01 2010
Gav

or maybe a nice memorial tattoo of heath ledger combined with a handful of pills, two of their favourite things?

25 01 2010
Indi

Just forget that whole cocksucking cowboy thing, huh?

25 01 2010
shazza

You got to admit, that was an incredible performance.

25 01 2010
Indi

An Oscar well-deserved. Just pointing out another discrepancy in choice of hero and stated values of many. I have a weakness for rubbing people’s noses in their messes.

25 01 2010
shazza

I got the sarcasm. I was trying to keep it going.

25 01 2010
Bogue

Obviously a natural…erm…talent.

25 01 2010
Indi

Phew

25 01 2010
SM Adelaide

Its a fair effort to dig up those facts TBL. You will have made some of the flag kissers angry enough to punch in their PC screen today (made in Taiwan). But I think this is one of your more biting satirical efforts – and one with a decent point.

25 01 2010
Wire75

I find it amazing how tolerance for immigrants and patriotism seem to be inversely proportional. Certainly in this country anyway.

Australia Day. BBQs. As if Australia has some special ownership over BBQs. The best BBQs I’ve been to have been in Brazil and Argentina.

And what is this ‘love it or leave it’ thing, and why is associated with anti-immigration people? Australia is multicultural. In their own words – “Love it or leave it”.

25 01 2010
Peter of Kensington

I find it amazing how intolerance for the Bogan and ignorance seem to be directly correlated. But that a discussion for another time.

I agree, Brasil and Argentina have some of the most amazing BBQ’s. However, they can get a bit bland after some time there and you long for some diversity in flavours, which is where Australian BBQ’s shine.

25 01 2010
Wire75

I am intolerant of intolerant people, yes.

I think the point being made here is that it is somewhat hypocritical to be anti-immigration when we have basically imported all our Australian culture (as commonly perceived) from elsewhere. To be truly Australian is to embrace cultural diversity. The national dish could equally be a wood-fired pizza or lamb roganjosh.

25 01 2010
Bogue

Bogans celebrating other foreign national days could have its own thread, especially Chinese New Year. I visited my local Vietnamese restaurant to celebrate quietly with the locals one year (Vietnamese stole it as well), but quickly found the only locals there were serving the food! Yes, it was wall-to-wall whities (just like me), drinking chardonay and trying to say ‘Happy New Year’ in Vietnamese over top of the cheesy coverband’s rendition of ‘April Sun in Cuba’. I haven’t been back since.

25 01 2010
Indi

Pinot is good with Vietnamese.

25 01 2010
Bogue

A nice colonial combination…ah, the good ol’ days.

25 01 2010
Indi

I wonder where chardonnay comes from? The point was a lighter red is good with many Asian cuisines.

25 01 2010
Bogue

Comes from Shardon, aye.

27 01 2010
StuManChu

Particularly Duck. Riesling & Gewurztraminer go well with Asian food too

25 01 2010
brad

they would not give a shit bogue-keep the coin flowin they”\’re happy as larry

26 01 2010
Bogue

I just hate ‘April Sun in Cuba’.

27 01 2010
James

Try Norouz – Iranian new year. The food is great, and there are goldfish as gifts and baklava and jumping over fires and everything. We had a blast. And even better, because Iranians are Muslim, no bogans!

27 01 2010
brad

thats true i’ve never met any muslim bogans(eyes roll)

27 01 2010
Bogue

Habiiiiiiib!

25 01 2010
jay

p of k, i agree argentina is not known for its diverse cuisine-it’s almost been an oxymoron. i was in buenos aires just after the katmandu restaurant opened, around 2000, and it still lives. perhaps porteños are becoming more adventurous.

25 01 2010
Sam

The Australian “BBQ” is nothing more than an outside gas stove.

In most other places around the world BBQ’s involve coal or wood fires that give distinctive flavours depending on the type of coal or wood. These flavours you cannot get when using the frying pan in the kitchen – or the Aussie “bbq”.

The reason Aussies use outside gas stoves (bbqs)? Laziness. They can’t be stuffed chopping wood, waiting for the coal to be ready etc. The Aussie wants his burnt meat now. Many Aussies now get their “bbq” connected to the gas mains so that they don’t even need to go to Bunnings to get a new bottle!

25 01 2010
hel

I have a wood fired pizza oven. it is a bitch to get going but worth the effort. However, does this make me non bogan or serious, SERIOUS bogan because if you look at the rise in popularity of “genuine” wood fired pizza, it seems like something every self respecting Bogan would want to build in their back yard, and make it as big a phallic edifice as possible. Mine is not that big but I can admit that.

26 01 2010
brad

how could you get your mains connected too the barbie-the Bunnings trip is the best bit,bring the kids along while you fill up so the staff are distracted and you can score some freebies(eg stanley tape mearsures,2$ paint brushes,new shower head,McDonald’s leads) also pick up an extra six stubbies for ron on the way home.Thats what iv heard anyway

26 01 2010
brad

ps i forgot too mention the sausages on the way out from the local LionsClub/Scout Group

28 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

Australia has a dominant culture, that is a culture derived from many mostly European traditions.Australians are over 90% European heritage.

25 01 2010
Al from the block Z

No doubt there will be some complaints over this post. Fair, it is not in the same vein as the majority of posts, with their acute observations of specific traits of this nouveau bogue. I think the subtlety of this post may pass some by – and if not, cut closer to the bone than previous diatribes. Skewering the majority, on the one day when they regress to the base behaviour of the native* bogan, will surely raise a few hackles.

However, it is a timely reminder that most cultural artifacts to which we Australians hold dear – be they ‘traditions’, phraseology, or simply choice of method for burning meat – have been co-opted from other nations, races and religions. Unfortunately, it is often all to obvious, given that for the most part we don’t do beer as well as the Czechs or BBQs as well as, well, most. This ‘way of life’ is not too dissimilar from many others in the world, and this chosen method of celebration – social gatherings fuelled by food, music and alcohol – is nigh on identical. Immigration, and the sharing of knowledge and culture, has given this nation the ‘way of life’ which we hold so dear, imbued by an egalitarianism that once accepted no pretence or entitlement. And this, clearly, is a point often missed by our bogan friends. That isn’t to say we haven’t got a huge amount to be proud of, simply that recognition of its roots can only be beneficial.

So while its educational bent may mean it less humourous than most (to some), I think it is timely, and even in its subtlety, hilarious.

Enjoy today’s inevitable vitriol TBL…. and keep doing what you’re doing. “Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own” – Swift

Cheers Al. And yes, we were definitely expecting some defensive responses. TBL

27 01 2010
James

D-Day plus two, and there is not as many defensive posts as I expected. What’s going on?

27 01 2010
Indi

Too many other outlets on bigger sites: the Australian whine industry is a growing one.

25 01 2010
Tone

Bravo, TBL! I’d give you a standing ovation, lest I look like a dick at my cubicle.

I suspect those that are deriding today’s entry are the same people that didn’t understand the biting yet poignant subtlety of #33 – The Australian Victory At Gallipoli.

25 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Perhaps I should have a “BBQ” today? I’ve never experienced one. Hmmm, I wonder if Chef will go crazy when I suggest it…

Wish me luck everyone!

25 01 2010
Tone

Have your chef BBQ some grouse. It works on so many levels!

25 01 2010
hel

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA touche!

25 01 2010
Loftie

I would suggest that tomorrow is the better day for the BBQ…

Though having a test run to make sure you can cope with tomorrow is not such a bad idea…

Have you got your Australia Flag Bikini set Fiona? I certainly hope so as apparently they have sold out!!!

25 01 2010
Indi

Wasn’t there free hat in the Herald-Sun. With all those pools and all those security guards, surely a bathing costume is unneccesary. Slip slop Slap, Fiona!

25 01 2010
Bogue

Don’t forget ‘seek’.

25 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Chef said he would cook me one if I invited you all over. He said to tell everyone to “bring their own snags and piss”. I have no idea what he meant.

Anyway, as I shan’t be inviting any of you over, no BBQ for me. 😦

I really do need to find a way to put Chef in his place.

25 01 2010
Linda

TBL, you have written better ones – this post is bound to offend the non-bogues also. I still love your blog!

25 01 2010
Skitter

Excellent post. TBL never fails to hit the nail square on the head. A Keep up the great work!

25 01 2010
Bec

I was expecting more wank about the Hottest 100 mention. I live in expectant hope that a bunch of tools start leaving comments to the effect of “fuk u!!!!! U runed the hotest 100!!!!!1 go away :(“

25 01 2010
Paddington

Sorry to point it out: “barbecue” is the actual correct way to spell the word. “Barbeque” is, however, very slowly becoming accepted because so many (bogan) people don’t know how to spell the word properly, although most references still will not accept this spelling as proper use.

Yep, we used the current bogan mutation in the same way that we favour ‘x-treme’ spelling when describing the bogan’s habits. The point about its origin stands though, whichever spelling you prefer.

25 01 2010
Paddington

Surely you mean “whichever version is correct”, not “whichever spelling you prefer”.

No. We just gave two examples of ways in which we’ve deliberately used unconventional spellings to convey satire, so your preference can be for the satirical approach, or the dictionary approach. TBL

25 01 2010
Paddington

*chuckle* Okey doke. Sounds good to me. You should chuck in a bar-B-que to really confuse me :))

26 01 2010
Some Other Jerk

For the Simpsons fans out there. How about a BBBQ, the extra B is for bogan.

25 01 2010
Annette

Barbe à queue – French for “from beard to tail”. Like rotisserie. Cook the whole damn thing.

Plenty of different sources on this, but this was a pretty thorough look at it. http://foodnerd.org/2008/06/barbecue-aka-barbeque-bbq-borbecu-barbacoa-barabicu-babricot/ TBL

25 01 2010
Paddington

Don’t confuse them any longer, Annette! People have enough trouble with the English spelling, let alone the derivation! 😉

27 01 2010
Mavis

You mean “de la barbe à la queue”… as simply saying barbe à queue could also be interpreted as “penisy beard” or “beard with penises” or if you add a French “la” as bogans might like to do, and said “barbe à la queue” you’d get a “beard on the penis”, technically speaking of course. Which is probably what one risks when spending too long at a bogan’s BBQ anyway.

25 01 2010
shazza

A timely extension on the FIFO theme. Excellent post TBL.
I shall be celebrating the day with friends. At home, swimming, and enjoying a bbq. A glance at my shopping list today in preparation for tomorrows festivities reveals influences from Greece, France, Lebanon, Turkey, sparkling from N.Z. Of course beer and wine from W.A as we are a bit parochial about our booze.
The day, for me, will be a reminder of how very grateful I am for the good fortune of being born in such a country. Thanks to all the hardworking folk who have gone before me, both Aussie born, and Aussie by choice.

25 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Parochialism / boganism.

Tom-ay-to / tom-ar-to

25 01 2010
shazza

There’s a name for that Fiona. It’s called Projection. Jung also referred to it in his work on the nature of the personal Shadow.

26 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. That’s why Jungian analysis went out in the 70’s. It’s SO suburban / bogan…

26 01 2010
shazza

I bet you had to google that.

26 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m sure you think I did – it’s called projection.

27 01 2010
shazza

Originality not your strong point (either) is it Fiona.

25 01 2010
Indi

Surely Hogan is an Australian-American like Mel and Rupert?

25 01 2010
Boris

Very clever. Australia day should be celebrated (this is an exceptional country in so many ways), but we should always be aware that we’re a new country that owes a lot to the rest of the world for our traditions and past-times.

25 01 2010
hel

As always, pure gold. But do not forget either the fabulous fireworks displays laid on in capital cities for mass bogan consumption, no doubt a celebratory nod to our Chinese cousins who came up with them 2000 odd years ago.

25 01 2010
brad

yeh right but it took our European cousins too work out you could do more with gunpowder than just put pretty lights in the sky

25 01 2010
hel

actually the chinese used gunpowder in the form of rockets and rudimentary firearms as early as the 800sAD, it was used against the Mongol armies, then the Islamic world took a fancy to it, it is hypothesised, around 1240AD and then the first real documented evidence of it being used for battle purposes by Europe, predominantly Spain, was about ten to fifteen years after that. England reportedly began production of gunpowder around the mid 1300s.

Just so you know

25 01 2010
brad

thanks for the heads-up in pre-colonial history hel,though these hypothesis may be fact it was not until the age of european expansion that the technological know how was developed for gunpowder too be used as an overwhelming force against inferior forms of weaponry-realistically the turks,chinese and english were just using it as a gimic it had no real effect on the outcome of their battles

25 01 2010
hel

technology developed from earlier uses, so essentially, again, it was pilfered knowledge. Yes I know this is redundant as there really are so few original arguments left now, everything originated somewhere, but the interesting point comes when claim is laid to origin, that is when the discrepancies arise.

25 01 2010
brad

all knowledge is pilfered,thats the human condition its what you add and create to that knowledge that counts;the refinement of gunpowder for a particular use sent the course of history on a european dominated tangent just as the improvisation by the Japanese and Chinese on Western technology and culture will spit out something new and improved-then they’ll lay claim too it!-end of rant

25 01 2010
njptower

Australia, We’re Standing in It.

So true, we are a derivative country, I rejoice in that and condemn those who seek to denigrate the antecedents of my fellow Australians who maybe of a different hue to the bogan.

I am pleased to see that tony abbott (no capitals as a sign of disrespect) has embraced the bogan Australia Day program by condemning migrants.

25 01 2010
berihebi
25 01 2010
amr

How Un-Ustrayian!

26 01 2010
Army of birds

I did observe plenty of bogans today clad in multiple flag-themed items of clothing, fiercely espousing their love of Australia, while simultaneously breaking one or more of Australia’s laws. Surely there’s no hypocrisy in that…

25 01 2010
Damo

Too think that wen youse pansy hipster pooftas r lying about on Ozzie Day bumming each other that yous r indulging in a activity 1st invented by tha Greeks.

25 01 2010
Tubesteak

Don’t call me a hipster

I fucken hate those dole bludging unoriginal effeminate tossers

http://www.latfh.com

29 01 2010
Glenn Beck

Hey Damo! wats u still doin on the internets! Git round to Macca and Wazzas place pronto! We’re havin a masive shindig with Shazza and Dazza.

Don’t bring a shirt, we got an Ozzie flag here fer ya!

25 01 2010
Nelson Esq

On my high horse today: What a lame Australia Day campaign the Government (Dept of Propaganda) has produced; telling everyone to BBQ like they’ve never BBQ’s before. I’ve got nothing against BBQs, but think that it is an opportunity squandered because the ad appeals to the small minded, inward looking boganism (i.e. must have lamb BBQ on Australia Day while wearing Australian flag as a cape) that threatens to divide modern Australia.

The Governement should be promoting something more meaningful, which educates all Australians (new arrivals and bogans who try to hijack the day) on the true significance of the day, which is to celebrate what is great about Australia. We must celebrate and be thankful for the work of the early British settlers who laid the foundations for the democracy in which we live, the system of free enterprise, the legal system and other institutions which gives us our freedom, as well as the sense of a ‘fair go’ and (to use a Howard-ism) ‘mateship’ . We must also thank the later arrivals, (please take note, bogans)for they ensured Australian prosperity with their labour and contributions to inducstry. They also saved Australia from being culturally barren backwater with their food, philosphy and their culture; we now have a much more vibrant, colourful, tolerant and outward looking society.

We celebrate ANZAC Day by acknowledging the fallen serviceman whom gave their life for the values we hold dearly in the country. Australia Day should be the same; we should salute those who held those same values and contributed to Australia and Australian life and society, no matter what era they came from. They could be the First Fleeters, the Gold Rush migrants (including the Chinese) or the post WWII immigrants who built the Snowy Mountains Hydro-Electricity Plant.

25 01 2010
Bogue

Nah mate, it’s all about farken BBQ’s.

25 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Yeah, you’re right! Fuck the wogs and asians and all them other c**ts, lets have a barby and get fucken pissed like real fucken Aussies! And fuck having lamb, coz Sam Kekovich is a wog!

25 01 2010
Muz

I love how Australians, particularly ‘REAL AUSSIES’, claim some sort dibs on the concept of ‘a fair go’ and ‘mateship’ as if these personality traits are non-existent in other countries let alone other cultures.

To me it smacks of a sort of snobbery whereby ‘we’ judge ourselves better than other people around the world because we value ‘a fair go’ and ‘mateship!’

Imagine the shock/horror if some of these bogans actually used their passport to go somewhere other than Bali or Thailand and saw other people around the world that are pretty much like us. (Give or take an accent.)

26 01 2010
Bogue

That’s the spirit cob…lets BBQ ya hawse!

25 01 2010
S-Man

Fantastic post

25 01 2010
Ironhalo

Nelson Esq, great post mate, but one correction.

No one in this country should celebrate ANZAC Day…we merely observe it. As an ADF member, nothing makes the red hate mist descend in front of my normally calm eyes faster then a bunch of drunken louts thinking it’s another day to get drunk and ‘punch on with kents’.

25 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Ironhalo, a good point and duly noted!

26 01 2010
chillaxed

Since when do ADF members not celebrate ANZAC day?

Sure we pay our due respects and ‘observe’ certain parts of the occasion, namely at the dawn service and march. However, once these formalities are over the day generally turns into a good old fashioned piss up with mates and work collegues.

If seeing drunken louts on ANZAC day makes ‘red mist descend in front of your normally calm eyes’ you need to lighten up!

25 01 2010
Toddo

Good work Nelson.
Off topic, I had to visit a Red Dot store (as you do) in a southern Perth suburb on the weekend and took note of the preparation that takes place for Australia day.
It was a surreal experience, as the store was over run by women and daughters (indistinguishable) nazaly laughing/snorting away, half dressed in miniature black shorts and revealing tops (regardless of their level of fitness) all with layered streaked hair and too much make up, having a feeding frenzy on the flag themed goods.
Some of them knew each other, or the check-out chick, and I had to pinch myself to believe that it wasn’t some sort of flash mob parody sketch.
I would hazard to guess that 1/2 these women hadn’t pulled down there Christmas lights yet.

25 01 2010
Lee

Good post and well written. I myself will be doing most of these things tomorrow,
Annual Australia Day cricket match between my local pub and the neighbouring pub,
BBQ lunch washed down with a few cold tins
More cricket and a few more cold tins then,
back to the local pub for the fong frowing (misspelt on purpose!) contest then off to bed for an early start at work on wednesday, all this wearing my akubra, thongs, boardies and my 2003 Australian one dayer jersey!
Enjoy!

25 01 2010
Ironhalo

Nelson, no dramas mate, and great post.

Now, does having a crisp Asahi count as Oshtrayan type behaviour? It defecates on XXXX/VB/New from a great height.

But as Kevin Bloody Wilson/and the bogans would say ‘it’s the type of shit you wouldn’t even give a Jap on Anzac Day’.

Have a great Australia Day everyone, no matter what country you came here from.

28 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Ironhalo, you’ve started on beer…so I must reply. I’m not a fan of Asahi as a session beer on its own, but if you have one while eating sushi, it really comes into its own. And as there are Japanese-Australians in this country, you could argue that it is OK to drink it on Australia Day! 🙂

I took my daughter to look at Australian fauna at Healesville Sanctuary on Australia Day and we even got to pat a kangaroo and a dingo. Now how Australian is that!?

There was a really good atmosphere at the Sanctuary and vibe amongst the visitors, with everyone enjoying Australia Day amongst the native Australian animals. Many people were wearing something branded with ‘Australia’ or the flag. Those Australia Day hats issued by the Herald Sun seemed to be mostly worn by non-white people. In fact there were quite a few non-white people there and I also noticed that several of the white people there enjoying the day in their Australian colours, had British or European accents.

I looked at my English born wife and said “The only true Aussies here are the animals!”

25 01 2010
The Buzz

Akshully, the intent of the piece is an exercise in dark irony. Obviously. But I’m interested in the sub-plot. The obviously unsaid. I fear that my national identity is persuaded by the bogan culture. It’s defined by beer, by misoginy, simplistic, nationalistic pariotism, and by a fringe underclass that has been politically dragged into the cultural mainstream and given popular validity. I fear the simpleton bogans are dictating our cultural identity, and that politicians are enshrining that fact. And I fear that since the politicisation of the ‘mate’ culture by the last Australian government, the world is starting to see through that naive, fresh Aussie fascade…, and seeing the roots of a dangerous culture that does little to serve anything except it’s own simpleton, bogan agendas.

25 01 2010
hel

That was intellectually arousing. Thank you!

25 01 2010
jay

i see that mike moore wants to change the australian flag.

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/national/6716297/ray-martin-leads-push-for-new-flag/

if he thinks it’s a good idea, then so do i.
i trust and respect mike moore.

25 01 2010
brad

jay we were doing so well,

25 01 2010
The Cynic

Cleopatra was Greek.

Love the site, but these sort of errors distract from the message.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_4_57/ai_82479151/
This thoroughly researched article suggests that she was quite probably a mixed race European/Egyptian who was born in Egypt, lived in Egypt all of her life, and spoke Egyptian. That more than satisfies any modern definition of nationality. TBL

26 01 2010
bec

Well, not entirely. She was a Ptolemy, I think, but her particular ancestors had about 300 years of history in Egypt. So, technically she’s more Egyptian than dumb whiteys are Australian.

28 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

“dumb whiteys”

Why is it that people who decry racism are always the first to use race based insults ? Doesnt matter wat race YOU are, the fact you clamour toconstant racial insults means it would take much for you to expad that mentality and attack any race.

26 01 2010
AJ

i get where you’re coming from, but none the less I can’t help but fell a bit of a cultural cringe coming through this article. Sure none of the traditions are Australian by birth, but the manner in which they have been adopted and evolved to fit the Australian phsyce mean that they have an Australian twinge upon them. It is also the combination of these trhings that is Australian, who else watches the cricket, whilst having a beer a snag and chop off the barbie for lunch with a dip in the pool every drinks break. (South Africa and New Zealand. TBL)

Having said that it is clear from the comments that this is more a statement on the bogues refusal to accept migrants whilst happily pinching bits and pieces of their culture for their own.

I had hoped for something more along the lines of flag draped, drunk louts but then i guess that is covered pretty well in earlier posts.

26 01 2010
Army of birds

“It is also the combination of these trhings that is Australian, who else watches the cricket, whilst having a beer a snag and chop off the barbie for lunch with a dip in the pool every drinks break.”

Wow, a strict set of criteria for Australianness there. Nobody I know can yell out bingo on that card. And I personally dislike all of those activities. Guess I’m just not Australian (even though I grew here and didn’t… flew… here…)

27 01 2010
AJ

i wasnt suggesting that these were the sole requirements for being considered australian, the fact is that there is none. i merely attempted to refute the premise of TBL’s article that it is inherently bogue to undertake all these activities whilst claiming them as purely australian,

and im not going to post after getting back from the pub again. it is too hard to think straight and very unaustralian not too just pass out on the floor. please accept my dearest apologies.

26 01 2010
bogankings

Australians are not an actual real historical race, or even a nationality, or a county. But rather a federation of states composed entirely of land stolen from murdered aboriginals. Much like the USA. The greatest irony about the British flag we fly is that 75% of white Australians are actually ethnic Irish and have spent most of there lives denying this fact. Where is the racial pride to be had based on a false ethnicity and stolen land?

26 01 2010
Bogue

Sounds like you need a beer and a snag, then mingle with some Australians.

26 01 2010
bec

Because racial pride is all that mediocre people have. When you have no personality, skills, merit or any ability to contribute in a meaningful way to society, you cling to those things you ultimately have no control over which fill in the gaps in your identity. No soul? Buy one of those plastic testicles that hang from your towball and profess to hating fags. No personality? Drape a flag around your shoulders. Insta-personality for those with mortality anxiety.

26 01 2010
Muz

Wow! Excellent bec. The best post I have read here so far.

26 01 2010
flag waver - i get it you love your country...

Fantastic comment bec

Lack of personalities and possibly lack of excitement for these suburb dwelling bogans has turned Australia day into another reason for these people to get up and flaunt their self indulged superiority

It’s almost like kindergarten playground mentality, you’re wearing a flag, i’m wearing a flag, fuck we’re going to be best friends.

like Samuel Johnson once said “patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel”

26 01 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

75% of white Australians are actually ethnic Irish?? Would love to see published material backing this up. Sounds like something you made up on the spot.

27 01 2010
F! manning clark

manning clark agrees thus it is true. all that is inherently australian is in fact descended entirely from ireland. honestly mr clark get over your irish ass.

26 01 2010
Sam

bogankings, I agree 100%.

All white Australians should be forced to look into the mirror every morning and repeat “I hate myself for being a white Australian thief, I am an ethnically void disgrace of a human” at least 10 times before they leave the house.

Great comment. Now back to the mirror please.

28 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

The aboriginals stole the land off the mega fauna…..Does this upset/concern you ? They were sentient beings too.If the obliteration of mega fauna doesnt upset you then explain why ?
Ive NEVER met a single person in my whole life that is trying to hide an Irish heritage, what a rather bizarre claim.

26 01 2010
Wire75

I love this site. And all you people. I’m not alone.

26 01 2010
Bogue

Well, it appears to be a sad day for a few of you here that suffer from cultural anxiety, I myself will be banding with my bogan brothers and sisters and celebrating Australia Day in the time honoured traditions of our recent forefathers, being a BBQ, cricket and a few beers with family. No, I don’t entertain bashing a few wogs, urinating on a local Australian icon, or draping the flag around my neck, but I will be embracing what culture Australia does have. Every culture has borrowed their culture, and just because Australia’s is possibly the newest (in absense of any traditional indigenous celebration at this time) does not make it any less relevant, or a subject of derrision. The most exciting aspect of Australian culture is that this country is possibly the most multicultural society on the planet, so over the ensuing centuries will morph and develop as new elements are introduced…who cares where these influences come from (e.g. does anyone care about their 75% Irish geneology?)This has been so for every culture on this planet. So, why don’t you relax and embrace the change, embrace our society, embrace the day? I’m off for a beer.

26 01 2010
Alice

Cleopatra wasn’t African, she was Greek. But otherwise, great post.

26 01 2010
Lee

Oh you poor people, what did you lot do today on a rare day off?

27 01 2010
Lee

Bogue, your post has made more sense than anyone elses.

26 01 2010
Schappylle Scragg

Un-bloody-believable, mayte! Australia is the only cuntry in the world that celebrates the day the poms invaded, don’t knock Aussie originality!

26 01 2010
Freddo

I heard this come out a bogan’s mouth earlier today:
‘Kings Of Leon used to be a great farkin’ Aussie band but they’re pricks now cause they moved overseas…’

27 01 2010
Robbie

I witnessed the highest level of boganity yesterday afternoon in Parramatta NSW….2 extemely drunk bogues walking down the street, one shirtless with the Australian flag drapped around his shoulders. Their first victim was an innocent ‘white girl’ who I don’t think heard them due to her iPod(thank God)…Bogue # 1: “check out the rack and snatch on that” Bogue # 2: “fuck yeah, I’d do her – Goodday love, show us ya tits”.
When she didn’t respond, they called her a dumb ugly dyke and then they proceeded to hassle a young Asian couple walking past..Bogue # 1: “Hey mate, it’s Ostrayla Day, fuck off back to China” Bogue # 2: HAHAHA fuck yeah!”

27 01 2010
brad

But they didnt hassle you Robbie? -you must have been very close by too witness this atrocity,perhaps even with them?

27 01 2010
Loftie

ignorance is bliss

28 01 2010
Jane

oggy, oggy, oggy is welsh, not cornish

29 01 2010
Glenn Beck

That’s up for argument.

28 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

“one of my pools”….Fiona, you are so FULL of it, to brimming over.
I bet you are some overweight, dodgy haired, unemployed, homeswest house renter with online delusions of grandeur.
Even the biggest houses will have just one pool, albeit a large one.If you have more than one then you are an environmental vandal on a bogan scale.

28 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

the yearly clamour to guilt white Australia on Australia day is making me indifferent to the barrows they push.IT is australia Day, a day to drop the self concious “oh my gods the world is WATCHING UUUUUSSSSS” self obsession and just kick back and enjoy the fact we are seriously blessed in Australia compared to many other countries.Instead we have the usual mob trottig out their “should we change the flag, the anthem, become a reupblic, change the date, the day, the meaning of Australia day, remember the Aborrrriginals PLEASE” etc etc etc etc that we get EVERY single Australia day.

this is just another apect of it really…so what if our “traditions” are “foreign”, really so what ?? 99% of anyones tradtion is extracted from another time or country, tweaked and then you get your own version.
Some people would prefer we have a “sorry we are filthy convicts, shameful, disgusting and racist”day

You’ve missed the point. It’s great that we’ve incorporated so many eclectic foreign people traditions into our local way of life, but worryingly hypocritical that so many bogans still manage to nurture an anti-globalisation, anti-immigration, racist mindset. TBL

25 04 2010
Tom

Xenophobia and “racist” mindsets aren’t bogan-specific traits by any means TBL. Since man learned he could kill, he has been warring any people “different” from himself. I agree that those of lesser socioeconomic/educational backgrounds typically have a universal anti-other-countries/races/cultures perspective, that arises from ignorance and irrational “logic”. But almost universally, all races, cultures and countries bear much distrust or dislike of anyone different to themselves, whether you’re black, white, yellow or red. Just as we band together in homogenous social groups (hence “the nerds” “the jocks” “the skaters” etc etc) for safety, security and efficiency of social interaction, so do we on a larger scale.

And just a thought re: Australia day being “overseas” day – that’s half the point of the day! It is celebrating the day that people from A DIFFERENT COUNTRY landed here to create a new one. Almost all “Australian” culture can be tied back to cultures from all around the world, and it’s that broad multicultural influence we have here that makes Australia day so great.

28 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

Actually……Many people wil relax an fest, drink some booze and maybe have a BBQ.All these things are what “European man” has been doing for millenia.Australians are over 90% European heritage, so we really are following our own traditions.

28 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

I actually understand many of the “anti globalisation” arguments.Considering “globalisation seems to only be of the benefit of Westerners.I also think there are many sound scientific and environmental reasons for Australia to not become heavily populated.

Yes, it is certainly possible for well-informed people to be against the consequences of rapid population growth, and to emphasise the pitfalls of globalisation. The bogan’s views are generally not a product of getting informed though, they’re more commonly created by xenophobia, racism, and hypocrisy. While the end product may have some superficial similarities, it’s the process and the resulting behaviour that is the massive difference. TBL

28 01 2010
hel

I have a very amusing story about my Australia Day! I worked that evening then on the walk home two very drunk indigenous women started yelling at me and called we a “white c*nt” so being the lippy bitch I am I shot back, “Hey if I called you that but swapped the white for black you would be offended” This is when one of them yelled “racist f*cking bitch” then grabbed me by the hair, threw me on the ground got a couple of kicks in THEN when I got up the other one punched me in the face! By this stage a guy who had been at a nearby house ran out and they scattered into the night. Now fear not, I do not judge all indigenous people on the actions of these two women, however, I should also mention they yelled about it being “Invasion Day”. I am not a huge Australia Day person, hence why I worked, however the irony of being beaten up by two Indigenous women on Australia Day was not lost on me! 😀

31 01 2010
naughtee

interesting, i don’t think it is simply a case of swapping your colour hel, i’d probably try to kick you as well with a comment like that

i’d say there’d be quite a few white-guilt tragics that would pay good money for your experience 🙂

29 01 2010
Boring Matt

Thongs, the quintessential bogan footwear, are based on the traditional Japanese footwear, ‘geta’. In fact thongs/flip flops were one of the first post-war products Japan was able to export and make money from.

It makes you think

29 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. “Geta” being Japanese for “safety boots”.

31 01 2010
naughtee

well, as HG Wells pointed out “moral indignation is jealousy with a halo” nothing is original, especially elitist nose-in-the air high-and-mightiness, hop off your horse and focus on enjoying yourself a little more

11 02 2010
pop

YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THE FLAGS THAT THEY AFIX TO THEIR CAR WINDOWS!!! (possibly making them think they are royalty?)

ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO PAINFUL

26 04 2010
Paul

Heh, surprised nobody ever suggested moving it to 19th Jan aka 1901 aka year of federation.

Oh man, those little flags were like a bogan alert system. I loved it, like a red sticker for people. Whoever thought of that idea and took home the immense profit package (minus the small fee sent to the offshore labourers for the production process) is a smart man well-versed in and steeped in the knowledge of the bogan ideal for sure! XD

As an aside, I have a strong suspicion the etymology of the Aussie, often bogan, slang “You little ripper!” is in fact Japanese, as the meaning is identical, likely via the pearl divering community.

6 05 2010
Drew

Lets not forget that the Sydney bogan completes the day watching fireworks (a chinese invention) over the top of a lovely white-sail-shaped structure designed by a Danish architect.

8 05 2012
John smith

If you hate Australia that much then piss off….. that is all!!

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