#50 – Discount Airlines

17 12 2009

The bogan is no longer restricted to holidaying within a 5 hour Commodore journey of its nest, and it can thank a ginger Englishman for this fact. Now the whole family can whisk itself to the Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, or some other coast with a well-funded regional tourist body that pitches effectively to the bogan’s needs. It can even get to ‘countries’ like Bali, Phuket, and other places where there are poor people to haggle with for hair braids. Australia’s first discount airline in the modern era was launched in 2000, and Virgin Blue quickly acquired the loyalty of the bogan with its blend of lower prices and titillating hostesses.

Qantas soon realised that the bogan no longer aspired to board the flying Kangaroo, and subsequently launched Jetstar in 2004, with its blend of even lower prices and Magda Szubanski’s less persuasive visual charms. To conclude this race to the bottom, Tiger entered the market in 2007, boasting the lowest prices yet, and some scrubbers that the bogan had never heard of. This did not deter the bogan though, as anyone who has had the misfortune of being situated in a Tiger departure lounge can attest.

The discount airline business model involves stripping airline travel down to the basics, and passing the savings onto the customer. While the bogan generally desires to live like a celebrity, it is very receptive to the idea of getting somewhere really cheaply. This is where the bogan’s logic fails on two different levels that it seems unaware of. Firstly, it expects celebrity service at bargain prices. If the discount flight is 30 minutes late, a small cluster of bogans can be seen gesticulating maniacally at the service desk, an act which is likely to make the subsequent flight 45 minutes late. The bogans’ flat nasal yowl reverberates across the departure lounge, prompting other bogans to begin howling like a neighbourhood of cross-eyed dogs while the bogan children replenish their tear ducts with 500ml energy drinks. Due to incidents such as this, the Bali to Brisbane Jetstar flight on Sunday afternoons has come to be known as the “bogan bus”.

Secondly, the bogan has saved TWENTY SEVEN DOLLARS on a flight from Melbourne to Sydney at dinner time this Saturday, flying Tiger instead of Qantas at 9am Wednesday. Let’s break it down, shall we?



Actions

Information

135 responses

17 12 2009
berihebi

Since the rise/decline of these airlines it’s either bogan class or business/first class. There’s no middle anymore.

17 12 2009
Linda

I LOVE this – so shameful but I do this too! I follow the hot flight bargains along with many bogans!

17 12 2009
Kaiks

I use the budget airlines too, my only warning is to be careful if you intend to transfer because you should use the same/associated carrier. Virgin Blue wanted me to buy a new ticket when my international Qantas flight was delayed over five hours, luckily the Qantas rep asked Virgin Blue for some understanding.

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I thought Qantas WAS a discount airline.

17 12 2009
Linda

Fiona can you please start a blog bashing the lesser people! Please! I would read it… even though I’m probably one of those “lesser” immigrant citizens 🙂

17 12 2009
Kaiks

I’m pretty sure Fiona Of Toorak is a persona.

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL.

http://thelifeofthelesserpeople.wordpress.com/

I’m far too busy on Twitter to consider it at the moment.

Also, I fear it would largely be redundant with this blog in existence.

17 12 2009
Linda

love it.. hhahaha. continue!

17 12 2009
Jonathan

haha, thanks for putting this one up lads.

personally, i’ve got no problems with such carriers. in effect, if i can get from adelaide to sydney for 60 return and i’m not really pressed for time on day of arrival, thats at least 100 bucks saved. for an hour and a half trip i couldn’t give a stuff if i don’t get a drink.

what does irk me is those who expect the premium treatment when such airlines are point to point running on the fewest of resources. They’re not happy if they’re not treated well on board “I’m the customer”, and think they’re entitled to something when the plane is late or cancelled “i’m never flying (insert airline name) again, despite the fact that they will forget all that in another months time and save a few dollars.

17 12 2009
Indi

It’s very clear that economists don’t meet many bogans. They expect people to be rational economic actors.

17 12 2009
Kaiks

I once saw a classic-boganette huffing, scoffing and cursing as an Asian woman put her bag in the overhead locker because she couldn’t believe she’d have to put her bag in the half-empty locker three rows up. I’d really hoped the attendant hadn’t been so patient and kicked her off the plane.

17 12 2009
Kat

That first comment about no longer being restricted to holiday within 5 hours range by Commodore cracked me up. It’s on the money.

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Yes. “Hovel” instead of “nest” would have made it both funnier and more accurate.

6 08 2014
franz chong

Be Thankful for the Budget Airline.I can remember as a kid in the Eighties with a few exceptions having to use the family car for holidays even though there were two of us under the age of 15 at the time and it is something I never wish to do again.In fact the last time I did a Road Trip of any sort was in Tasmania over Easter 2013.

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I think it’s time for “Things Bogans Like” to add “commenting on ‘Things Bogans Like'”. Present commenter excepted of course.

17 12 2009
Kaiks

There’s is nothing that’s exclusive of the bogan, except perhaps original thinking and open mindedness.

17 12 2009
Andy

If not that, then commenting on “news”.com.au at the very least.

Well done on the half-century TBL!

17 12 2009
AB

Hahahahaha…..truer words have not been spoken. My 2nd favourite thing to do after I sit at my desk in the morning (after reading TBL of course) is to read the comments left by the Herald Scum readers on their website. It is truly remarkable how bigoted, narrow minded and truly dumb those people are. It baffles me that they can have such limited knowledge of the world around them, but can still work out how to comment on an online news article!

Other suggestions for topics;

– providing useless commentary and/or whinging on the RBA’s latest interest rate moves (Its not fair on the battlers!)
_ A Current Affair/Today Tonight

17 12 2009
Kaiks

I’m pretty sure we’ll get an entry on the bogans’ perception of news and current affairs.

17 12 2009
FT

AB – I thought I was alone!! That’s one of my favourite hobbies as well! I was so glad when I discovered TBL, as my mornings could now start with a giggle, rather than the usual festering hatred of idiot Herald Scum readers… I can now laugh at the HS comments, instead of getting angry with them.

17 12 2009
AB

The Herald Scum is the bogan’s guidebook. Sometimes I think they must be having a laugh with some of the crap they write in it. I particularly love it when there’s a story on the latest HERO. Bogan’s love heros. I also love it when they have photos of people who have had some recent unfortunate episode, and they put on those sad, sad faces – often holding up a framed photo of some missing family member. Who poses for a photo like that? I want to know what the photographer says to them. Perhaps someone stole their stash of bourbon and they are legitmately sad…..

My all time favourite Herald Scum Readers’ comments though are the ones where they call for things to be BANNED. Bogans love trying to get things banned. There were a few calling for Schoolies Week to be banned. How the hell do you ban Schoolies Week?! After the incident in Melbourne a few days ago where the guy’s cruise control got stuck, a Herald Scum reader called for cruise control to be….you guessed it…..BANNED!

17 12 2009
Right and proud

You would love reading The Courier Mail then- it’s basically News Ltd. journalism- but catered exclusively for Queenslanders, those people who have less culture than your average tub of yoghurt!

17 12 2009
Andy

Not only that, but they can get away with a lot more in the Mail than they can in the H-Scum or the Tele as there’s no competition in Brisbane. I don’t think it’s a mere coincidence that the most common butts of Melburnian/Sydneysider jokes – Queenslanders, Tasmanians and South Australians – are only served by News Ltd dailys.

17 12 2009
Indi

One effect of this is that The Australian has a readership made up of people in those cities without a broadsheet. Bogans at least know their limits – the letters pages and the blogosphere contain dick-headed unintentional parodies of right-wing positions. Pick an issue and there’s some high handed senior from Zilzie or Forrest with an offensive position to broadcast.

17 12 2009
Anonymous Bosch

Of course they have a limited knowledge of the world around them: They read the Herald Sun!

18 12 2009
Lee

I seen a good sticker on a car recently that read “Is that the truth, or was your News Limited?”

18 12 2009
Andy

Nice. I want one!

23 10 2014
Miona of Yourak

Great username
9.9/10

18 12 2009
Lee

Try reading the “Tele” readers comments…….

18 12 2009
njp

Herald Sun? A Currant (oops, Current) Affair? Today Tonight? What are these things you speak of?

22 12 2009
T-Mac

The Herald Scum is another good topic suggestion

8 01 2010
brad

when you grow up ab maybe youll understand

17 12 2009
Jasper

On a Virgin flight from Launceston to Sydney I saw a bogan refuse to take his seat after the seatbelt light went on. One of the hosties went down to him and explained we would land soon and he had to sit down.
He shot back “That’s bullshit, we’re fucking ages away” and proceeded to climb over the passenger next to him and go to the toilet. The hostie waited for him and told him to sit down again, to which he replied “This is bullshit! Aren’t I allowed to take a piss?”
He sat down and the hostie returned to the front. 5 minutes later the bogan was up again and getting a magazine from his bag in the overhead locker. The hostie had to stay seated because we were actually pretty close to landing so she used the PA to tell him to sit down, to which he shouted back “This is bullshit. Youse can get fucked”

When we landed the captain asked everyone to remain seated as a couple of people needed to board the plane. Two AFP officers boarded and were escorted to our bogan hero where he was told “grab your belongings and come with us”.

When I eventually got into the terminal one officer was berating him , the other taking notes, and the bogan, almost in tears, was protesting “This is bullshit! How come I’m not allowed to take a piss?”

It was nice to see an arsehole like that get what was coming to him.

17 12 2009
Kaiks

Nice, failure to comply should result in being barred. One at a time…. One at a time.

3 11 2010
Greg

Then they would go back to CountryLink! CountryLink is much better thanks to the discount airline.

18 12 2009
Tony D

Oh how I laughed at this story. Thankyou!

17 06 2010
Bones

So true. So many of these idiots think they can get away with murder if they can justify themselves with a one-liner, or catchphrase (or projection). Good to see one of em go down for it.

Great story.

17 12 2009
Loftie

I’m sure that #50 in the list may have been motivated by some of the news reports over the past couple of days…. with Virgin at Melbourne Airport having a meltdown due to a Telstra problem…

The media outlets were falling over how many bogans/boganettes flying to Boganville for their holiday…

And as per usual, in nearly every interview there was some ‘toolbag’ jumping up and down in his brightly colour t-shirt and sideways baseball cap waving endlessly behind the interviewee…. Perhaps he knew the Camera operator?? I think not….

*(Sheepishly, I have also been guilty of hopping on a couple of bargain flights… I once flew my family and I to Tasmania… $3.00 each way…. Once I got there I understood why it was so cheap….)*

17 12 2009
Kaiks

I have a friend from Bouganville, he calls it North Solomons though.
I went to Bouganville and the people were so welcoming, open-hearted and enjoyable. Strange.

17 12 2009
Indi

You have merged into history:
“[Flaubert] didn’t just hate the railway as such; he hated the way it flattered people with the illusion of progress. What was the point of scientific advance without moral advance? The railway would merely permit more people to move about, meet and be stupid together.” Julian Barnes, Flaubert’s Parrot

Flaubert’s Dictionary of Received Ideas gives you insight into the petits bourgeois (read bogans) of his day. And it’s funny.

17 06 2010
Bones

Sums up the Internet for me!

17 12 2009
Keeping Kosher Klansman

Happy #50, gentlemen.

You brighten my every day. I know it’s only 11am, but pass the recently rebranded fizzy energy drink with a cheeky double shot of Bundy – and vive le ‘nouveau bogue’!

Timid suggestion for future post: “Having ‘public domestics'”.

PS- You can’t put a price on dignity… right? I seem to remember Whitney Houston saying something to that effect… speaking of ‘public domestics’.

22 12 2009
Greg House

Yes, we really need to highlight the public domestic and the head movements looking to see if people are paying attention.

17 12 2009
Robbie

In reference to the ‘public domestics’ idea…I was at a large shopping centre recently in western Sydney doing some Christmas shopping when I saw a Bogan couple with their 2 little kids (no older than 3 or 4 years) and the male Bogan yelled at the female Bogan “would you shut those little cunts up”!!
Such class and a fantastic way of instilling confidence and morals into the little impressionable bogan’s minds.

17 12 2009
Indi

How else would she know who he was talking about?

17 12 2009
Kaiks

My classic-bogan uncle to my teenage cousin, “STOP YOUR FUCKEN SWEARING!!”

17 12 2009
Beck

Ouch. Where do you even start with that one? Do you think he was being ironic, in that Alanis Morissette way?

17 12 2009
Kaiks

It would just come out, he wouldn’t realise until everyone in the house would laugh at him and point it out.

17 12 2009
Linda

Love it

17 12 2009
M E Nelson Esq

This morning I dropped off my daughter at day care, and as I walked in the door I heard “I’m so fuckin’ sick of you, if ya keep it up, I’ll fuckin’ take ya home!” Lovely. Just what you want your child exposed to. It was one of the childminders screaming at her own 18 month old son, Riff, who also attends the daycare centre with his bogan mum. And what kind of name is Riff? Bogue by any other name, I suppose. I think his bogan dad must play thrash metal guitar.

My wife and I already had concerns about the centre, including our daughter’s main carer, showing typical bogan apathy when we caught her out letting my daughter suck on a paint covered paintbrush; declaring that it was ok because it was non-toxic paint. Another bogan, whom I can’t believe I let take care of my little girl, has many visable tattoos and sharp, pointy metal bits sticking out of every facial feature that my wife calls her “Boltface” and I refer to her as “Frankenbogan”. It is so hard to get your kid into any day care centre, let alone a decent one and this was the only local centre that offered us a spot, but this was the last straw, I’m not having my child raised part time by bogans. We’re definitely looking for a new centre for 2010 ASAP!

18 12 2009
Muz

When you think about it these poor little kids have no choice in the matter of who their parents are its actually quite sad to be lumbered, through no fault of your own, to these morons.

And so the cycle continues.

20 12 2009
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

Amazing, work and paying off your debts is more important than who cares for your own child ? Im amazed that someone leaves their vulnerable children with people that deeply concern them because “we gotta pay off the house and car ya know!”..whatever

23 12 2009
M E Nelson Esq

You’re a ‘stay at home mum’, bffj? Single one at that? On welfare? With no choice to stay at home to look after your illegitamate brood, yet convincing yourself that its the best thing to do? And then I suppose you bottle fed them as well, thinking that was the best thing for them?

I’m probably wrong about that, just like you are totally wrong about the reasons why my child is in child care a couple of days a week. It was a decison which was discussed at great length and, luckily for us, it definitely was not about paying the mortgage.

Like most types of businesses, there are good child care centres and bad ones. It’s also hard to find a place in any centre, especially part of the way through a year, when the spots have already been allocated in January. I do care about who cares for my child; if I didn’t I wouldn’t be looking for a new childcare centre. But as you say, whatever…

23 12 2009
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

You are so wrong on every level, especially the first one.
So let me see, you dont use child care so you must be a stay at home Mum, is this a bad and evil thing now is it ? Im sorry but I dont buy into the communist ideals of making “everyone get out and work and put your kids in care” .I do think child care is a fail for a lot of reasons but I guess Mothers have to salve their guilt somehow.
To go on and guess that being a stay at home Mother automatically means you are on welfare & single is just proof you watch too many current affairs shows.

The only single Mothers I know are single because of relationship breakdowns, usually a marriage.
But for the grace of God there goes I, you should always remember that.

By the way Im married and we are well catered for because we used our brains to get there but you are ridiculous if you think that terms like “illegitimate brood” are anything short of dated.Who on this Earth talks in terms of “bastard/illegit children” in this day and age ?? I bet you encourage your spawn from hell to tease the kids without Fathers too.

vulgar and low class but if it makes you feel you are in a class you are not….*shrugs*

23 12 2009
Paddington

It is unhelpful to any parent to start a war about child care. If your desire (or need) is to be at home with your young children, you should be supported in that choice. If your desire (or need) is to work in other employment and entrust the care of your young child to a paid professional in this area, you should also be supported. This should be applied regardless of the parent’s gender. It’s the neglect of a child, or the acceptance of a child’s neglect, that should be made an issue – and neglect can happen anywhere.

29 12 2009
M E Nelson Esq

BFFJ, you assumed that I use child care was because paying off debts was more important to me than my child. Wrong. I then made some assumptions’ about you, but qualified it with ‘I’m probably wrong about that’, to show that my ‘vulgar and low class’ assumptions about you were probably just as rediculous and wrong as your vulgar assumptions were about me.

I am all for ‘each to their own’. I do not judge stay at home mothers, nor people who put their kids in day care 5 days a week. I can’t because I am not living their life. Paddington’s remarks sum up my views completely; child care centres need to be made available for those who need or choose to use them. It’s also the quality of the care, whether it’s at home or in day care that is the most important factor for any child. We didn’t believe that our daughter was getting the quality care we wanted for her and have now found another centre for her to attend next year. If we hadn’t got her into this new centre, my wife would have given up her job to stay at home with our daughter.

If you can personally afford and choose to stay at home with your child, good for you. You obviously believe that this is the best option for you and your child, however you shouldn’t judge someone who chooses to put their child in day care. As my wife and I both earn a decent wage, we had the luxury of either of us staying home or my wife going back to work either full or part time. We believe that good day care if far from ‘fail’ as you put it; 3 days at home with her mother and 2 days at child care is giving our daughter and my wife the best of both worlds. My daughter has benefited greatly in terms of her learning and development, such as vital social skills and the concept of sharing, by interacting with other adults and children of varying ages. This will benefit her greatly when going to kindergarten and school in later years. A good professional child care worker can also provide and teach her things that we (not being professional teachers) may have otherwise not have. My wife is also benefitting in many ways from being back in the work environment. The concept of good child care works for us; that is our opinion, which is probably a little bit too ‘communist’ for you….*shrug*

20 12 2009
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

I see Aboriginals call their children this every day in my area

17 12 2009
dazz

TBL Quote “Australia’s first discount airline was launched in 2000”

you forget Compass airlines which operated (briefly) in the early 1990s.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compass_Airlines_(Australia)

Correct historical point, Dazz. We’ll rephrase. TBL

17 12 2009
dazz

No worries I dont think they flew to the countries of Phuket or Bali anyway.

17 12 2009
DentShop

I dont mind the budget airlines too much. Understanding that you get what you pay for is important. I call Tiger “Tracksuit Air” for obvious reasons. The staff do a tough job in a dry, hostile environment and are usually well-mannered if you give them a smile and no hassles. I love to see passengers faces when they act like prats and the staff give them a serve. Some think that their $39 fare entitles them to act like a tit. Look around at the passengers and it is a bogans rogue gallery – huge tattooed biceps, strippers returning from their once a week Goldie gig, obese, bleach-blonde moms ignoring their bratty kids Jordan and Keelah and football supporters clad in team jackets and scarves.

Maybe the funniest thing Ive heard was on a Jetstar flight to Osaka. After the English safety announcement was followed up with the Japanese version, a whiny passenger quipped “Why did they say it in that Woggy language? I didnt understand any of that crap!” No – she was deadly serious folks.

17 12 2009
Indi

As I’ve said before here there were people interviewed at the time, outraged that the Bali bombings could happen ‘on Australian soil’.

17 12 2009
Kaiks

The entitlement to walk the Kokoda track bemuses me. I met a bogan who did it and came back with no respect for the people who let him travel through their land.

17 12 2009
Tone

There’s a reason why discount airlines run planes made by a company called Airbus: they’re just Contiki coaches with wings.

17 12 2009
BoganHater

My family and I often fly Jetstar and Virgin Blue. We’re not bogans, but I agree you do see a lot of them on these flights. We’re just trying to make our money stretch further, so I think you’re being a bit unfair. For example, we fly Jetstar to Japan to visit our daughter there because the fare is often 30% of a Qantas fare. If we can save $1000 each, then I’m happy to forgo the crappy “free” food and drinks Qantas gives you. We also have family in Hobart and often make visits down there. Virgin Blue is great for that.

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Justify it any way you want, you’re a bogan.

17 12 2009
BoganHater

Why would I call myself BoganHater if I’m a bogan? Have you never flown with a budget airline, Fiona. There’s actually not much difference between Qantas and the budgets anyway. If I can save a large chunk of money then I’ll go budget – it’s just a ride to your destination like a train or bus ride, so why give away money for nothing?

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I did lower myself and fly Qantas First Class once. Does that qualify as a budget airline? It does in my book.

17 12 2009
BoganHater

Must be nice to be so effluent.

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak
17 12 2009
BoganHater

LOL yourself, Fiona. I spelt it that way on purpose, you twit!

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Sure you did…

17 12 2009
BoganHater

Thanks Beck.

19 12 2009
Ghengis

Who do you fly with then Fiona, oh wait, you probably own a private jet.

I’ve started seeing new-bogans driving BMWs and Mercs these days though, complete with fauxhawk/mullet/rattie combo hairstyle, bright pink shirts with popped collars, and loud doof-doof music!!
It seems your “expensive European cars” are not so safe…

17 12 2009
BoganHater

Remember Kath and Kim – noice, effluent etc? I thought you’d appreciate the spelling, Fiona. I’m an English teacher, so I know how to spell!

17 12 2009
Beck

Don’t worry too much, BoganHater; your post was obvious (and outrageously apt).

17 12 2009
BoganHater

Sorry, I put it in the wrong place. Thanks Beck.

17 12 2009
Linda

LOL a bogan that disguises themselves with the fake dolce and gabbana white framed sunnies

17 12 2009
17 12 2009
Indi

Blonde top knot ‘do, sunray pleated strappy sundress in ‘Holstein/Friesian’ cow print. Checkin out the new ‘dore with the bf in a cut-off tee and armful’o’ tatts. Wodonga- slutty one day, scraggy the next.

18 12 2009
Frazer

I would say rational, why spend an extra $1000 for a drink and a meal. It would seem very illogical to purchase the more expensive flight.

18 12 2009
Kylie

Indeed. Qantarse doesn’t always serve up proper meals anyway – I remember a flight (Bne-Syd) where I got something less interesting than my school lunchbox. A sandwich and an apple plus a juice from memory. At least mum would chuck in some choccie bikkies too.

I’m more than happy to pay a much cheaper fare on Virgin because I can survive an hour or two without food.

17 12 2009
Kat

Doing things that bogans do does not necessarily make one a bogan. Acting the way bogans act is a much better identifier. Some people are actually camouflaged as bogans in order to survive.

17 12 2009
BoganHater

I agree, Kat – bogans are everywhere. They do tend to congregate in certain places, but you never know where you’ll come across them. Sometimes they don’t even look any different from normal people – it’s when they open their mouths and spew out vile language very loudly that you realize you’ve come across the species.

Once in a “nice” inner city suburb, I was verbally abused very loudly and agressively because I dared to look too long at a car full of screaming children and their bogan parents in a carpark. It was this behaviour that marked them as bogans. There are plenty of people with fractious children in cars in shopping centre carparks, but they don’t all turn on you and scream obscenities at you for looking at them a second too long.

17 12 2009
Linda

I’m waiting for an entry highlighting the bogan-ish touch of Christmas with CHRISCO.

17 12 2009
j-ho

17 12 2009
Kaiks

That video needs a David Attenborough voice-over.

17 12 2009
Loftie

Wow – that video has it all….

I can hear the voice over in my head…

“Here we have a Bogan male and female in their natural state…. note the milk crate nest for the female, and the tucked-in camoflage shorts & high socks on the male – standing his dominance in this situation.”

I could go on… and on…. and on…..

17 12 2009
toony

…….and those wonderful fleshy arms. All they need is a tinge of sunburn…..

17 12 2009
toony

Actually, that vid is a visual feast… I only just noticed just how many Chrisco boxes are in the background, the rat/dog thing and its bowl, the state of the floor, the elastic waisted shorts, that hell-on-earth masquerading as a backyard, the Vodka Cruisers….and the fact that they are brothers and sisters.
Quite possibly the funniest/scariest thing I’ll see this year.

17 12 2009
toony

Oh, and the checklist… “Them cunce aren’t rippin’ me off…”

17 12 2009
J-HO

haha, it’s like an apocolyptic video filmed by the few remaining survivors on earth. All the dogs are dead so they resort to rats as pets…

17 12 2009
Beck

On a sociological level, how can people see the sense in paying through the nose for Barbecue Shapes and mint peas? If it was some unique little festive comestible, you could perhaps understand the novelty. What’s so fun about a tin of Milo?

17 12 2009
Anonymous Bosch

Trust me on this: don’t try and explain logic to Bogans with regards to Chrisco. They get really nasty about it.

Two theories here:

I suspect deep down they know these packages are just the usual high-caloric, low nutritional crap they normally buy during their weekly grocery shopping. Perhaps it’s made more festive to them by being Potentially Specially-Delivered during the “one-chance-only” six hour window that Chrisco deem to drop the boxes off to customers. It’s also possible that a tin of Milo is much more exciting when it’s the real thing, and not an Select / Own Brand / Aldi knockoff of the item in question. (Every little saving counts at the checkout, at least until Bogan Mum asks the checkout chick for three cartons of Winnie Reds on top of the groceries). Are they ashamed to only have Milo, rather than Milo-style-effect, only once a year?

The other theory is that Chrisco is a sign of their inability to live anything other than paycheck to paycheck each week – the extra cost of presents from Clints that week means they can’t afford the basic groceries. So, rather than developed budgeting abilities, or just stash some money away in preperation, they trust someone else to hold their money each week, who then takes their money, blows a third of it on basic crap, and pockets the rest. Their Bogan friends might think they didn’t read ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ or something.

Trust me, just bite your tongue.

17 12 2009
Kylie

This is what I don’t understand – even with Anonymous Bosch’s excellent answer. Nor do I understand how anyone could need that much soft drink and chocolates to get through Christmas. What’s so festive about Cadbury’s pitiful excuse for chocolate?

I did hit upon a small theory of my own though – tinsel. It may be the cunning use of tinsel in the boxes that make Chrisco so appealing. Ooooh, shiny things

18 12 2009
Beck

This may well be where the Milat family goes to die.

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Who, or what ARE these people????

17 12 2009
toony

Fiona, it may be worth your while to check the rest of his vids.
I recommend “This is my tribute to Chewy” (although his dead uncle called him ‘Screwballs’).

17 12 2009
Nagob the Anti-Bogan

Why in God’s name would anyone video this, let alone put it up on YouTube???

17 12 2009
Anonymous Bosch

Look at all the flabby flesh in this one:

17 12 2009
wino

ahhhh..Chrisco hampers. My ex-wife was the one of the people who got to handle complaints at the Westpac call centre, and one night came home in a foul mood. The cause? Getting called a stuck up cunt by a woman who’s direct debit to Chrisco had overdrawn her account, thus losing her a lot of money. Ever since then, well….one gent came in to where I used to work with a Chrisco box (the definition of no shame) asking about the cost of Dom Perignon. And then proceeding to bullshit to me about how he gets his booze for free etc. However, the following words of wisdom from those who have been “in Chrisco country”

I’ve included the restaurant reviews, Chrisco, and airline threads hahahahahahaha.

http://www.notgoodenough.org/viewforum.php?f=590

http://www.notgoodenough.org/viewforum.php?f=37

http://www.notgoodenough.org/viewtopic.php?t=34817&start=0&postdays=0&highlight=

Apparently Hogs Breath Dubbo isn’t somewhere you should take your kids…

23 12 2009
Rob

I should know a lot better but I couldn’t help but laugh when they ran outside revealing that spectacular backyard.

I don’t suppose anyone has the insight to guess why someone would post such a mundane video on youtube, anyway?

17 12 2009
Right and proud

The same bogans who would use Countrylink 10 years ago are the ones who now fly the budget airliners. Means fewer bogans on board if you find yourself taking the train! I have actually found that, sometimes, it is cheaper to fly interstate with Qantas than it is with PornStar or SlutBlue in the same time-frame!

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Only a bogan would know that.

17 12 2009
BoganHater

Discount airlines have been great for people on average incomes, especially one-income families with children. If Virgin Blue hadn’t started up in Australia it would probably still cost $1000 to fly from Brisbane to Hobart return instead of $400.

Yes, plenty of bogans fly these days, but I think you’ll find them on any airline. Personally, I compare all the airlines for any trip I intend to make – I’ll go with whichever one gives me the best price and sometimes that’s Qantas and sometimes it’s one of the others. Anyone who doesn’t do this either has too much money or is stupid.

Bogans may love discount airlines but they aren’t the only ones who do. I think you’ll find anyone who travels a lot, especially to see family interstate or overseas, will be chasing the cheapest flights they can get.

17 12 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. OMG, just accept it! You’re a bogan. Stop trying to justify your behaviour us unbogan-like.

17 12 2009
BoganHater

You’re starting to sound more and more like a bogan yourself, Fiona. Are you sure you’re not really Jaxson from some bogan suburb somewhere?

17 12 2009
Beck

Touche, BoganHater, touche.

17 12 2009
Beck

Your post is actually quite true. Many academics who fly frequently usually use budget airlines and have to submit to a shoulder rubbing from Wayne from Bankstown. Yes, there is such a thing as business class, but unless you’re in Rupert’s class, you’re not using it every time you fly.

17 12 2009
Kaiks

Fiona Of Toorak is a troll, you are taking her bait too.

She doesn’t realise that being a bogan is not determined by the wealth you have and/or waste.

Being conscientious of your economic situation and budgeting to live within your means is clearly not bogan behaviour.

17 12 2009
lol@you

Stop feeding the troll.

17 12 2009
Shmelly

This ‘Fiona’ troll has reared its ugly head on a few sites. The news.com.au site being one of them.
I think it tries to be amusing, but the sneering superciliousness doesn’t quite hit the mark. To me, anyway.
A similar troll, Kevin of Double Bay, also gets plenty of bites but is a rather gormless pretentious character. Much funnier.
Keep trying, Fiona.
Loads of money, which I think you are pretty impressed by, does not disqualify you from being a bogan.

18 12 2009
Indi

The ideas of how the traditional monied classes behave are wonderfully inaccurate. Free of anxiety of being thought a bogan, many behave just like bogans, but with slightly different accents and brand names. As for travelling first-class- only if someone else or the business is paying, or you can get an upgrade.

18 12 2009
Frazer

Yes I concur, perhaps unemployed, she seems to spend a lot of time replying.

19 12 2009
Lee

Perhaps a trophy wife from a bogan family that married into money or a sugar daddy or perhaps even a rich drug dealer and is probably nothing more than an incubator.

3 11 2010
Greg

The real bogans would have been traveling by bus in the late 80’s

6 08 2014
franz chong

Maybe the Interstate Train.I was the only kid on a School Trip to Melbourne who flew Ansett and got the comfort of a Boeing both ways back in 1989 due to their inability to put me on board with the rest of the class so was spared the overnight Adelaide-Melbourne Overland Trip from Hell.

17 12 2009
chris of south yarra

LOL. google fiona of toorak , she has commented on every Newspapper/forum known to man haha she even has her own twitter..

10 01 2010
brad

fiona of toorak is a 45 year forklift driver who is currently on a disability pension and resides in Seaford vic

10 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You wish.

17 12 2009
Joshua

I hope the writers of this blog know that they’ve created pure genius. Just putting it out there.
Congratulations on the 50th post!

Can you please do a post about bogans shopping at DFO?!

🙂

17 12 2009
Jamie

My favourite Virgin Blue moment was the chap next to me on a 6 am flight from Melb to Bris ordering the hostess to bring him a can of Jim Beam & Cola.

18 12 2009
gusface

Jamie

Yeah,he should have ordered a dubble bro!

Tho sometimes a double dubble is quite refreshing

😉

22 12 2009
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

fiona of toorak is a dickhead.

25 12 2009
Freddocat

Ha ha ha!!! Too funny… Yes, I must be a bogan as I fly Tiger, Ryan Air and AirAsia… And yes, I have less problems will all/any of them than our useless national carrier, Qantas! Air travel is no different to getting on a bus – it’s no longer the exclusive domain of the rich and famous and isn’t it great. Just choose a bogan-free destination and you’re set!!!

31 12 2009
Buddha

Long time bogan, first time contributor … 🙂

When I need to fly, I use websites that compare all the airlines, and as it happens, I’ve ended up on Virgin Blue each time.

At the end of the day, there’s no difference except the price … same terminal, same plane, same timeframes, lower price.

And for those of you who think they’re not bogans because of their affluence, remember that we all know that rich people get rich because they pay the lowest price for things. By that definition, we’re all bogans then, right? 🙂

19 01 2010
Bob

Fiona of Toorak lives in SEQLD, she drives a Mercedes ML320 her middle-management husband bought for her (the cheapest model Mercedes 4WD), and lives in a double-story house in the middle of a single-story suburb.

5 02 2010
Dan Taylor

Looking forward to the “airways” episode where the bogan couple chuck a wobbly over a six hour delay to their flight.

5 07 2010
#154 – Coloured Ribbons « Things Bogans Like

[…] disease is rife/disaster has occurred when it realises that it cannot locate it on a map or fly via Virgin or Jetstar, it considers donating money. Being unfamiliar with charities, and not being aware of any telethon […]

2 11 2010
franz chong

Nothing wrong with Budget Airlines.I haven’t flown domestically in Australia for two years now my last flight being in September 2010 with Qantas between Melbourne and Adelaide as part of a trip coming home from Singapore and while I don’t mind them if doing the trip in conjunction with international travel If I am doing it as part of a cruise ship holiday or on my wages which on a services workers income is not bad but could be better than I am more than happy to fly Virgin Blue

24 04 2011
Amy

I think bogans are most likely not to fly at all and to drive or just to stay at home sitting on their bum and popping out kids. At least most bogans I know are like that!
And there’s nothing wrong with Tiger or Jetstar, I fly those airlines a lot and Im not a bogan!

2 07 2011
Red

Tiger is GOOONNNE. all flights cancelled

2 07 2011
franz chong

Good Riddance to Tiger.They are the biggest joke ever.

14 09 2011
meg

The Asia-Coolangatta flight route is one of the most popular bogan holiday destinations and attracts some of the worst kind of bogans. I was recently unfortunate enough to have encountered a particularly aggressive, confrontational bogan woman on an overnight Air Asia flight to Coolangatta. She woke me up to tell me she was allowed to push her seat back in front of me (huh?). When I began talking to my friend about being woken up I was verbally attacked by the bogan woman in a very loud, aggressive way. She only stopped after I threatened to report her to airline staff and ground staff at Coolangatta. Amazingly I had just spent two weeks travelling in some of the most challenging parts of Asia without any problems at all. The problems only began when I had contact with Australian bogan travellers. I decided never again – no more bogan airlines for me – not ever. It just simply isn’t worth it because bogans do not know how to behave.

13 03 2014
Bite_Me

hey, why don’t you shut up Fiona_of_toorak .. do you think anyone wants to hear from you anyway you bat crap crazy bitch?

5 08 2014
franz chong

Be Thankful for the likes of Virgin.I was having a bit of a flashback to the time My Dad had to buy a Ticket to Melbourne for me on Short Notice on Ansett for a school trip due to their inability to put me on the Train with the rest of the Class For a Then 11 Year Old $150 Return back in 1989 Return Being Obviously well under the age of 15 at the time.Fast Forward to Today on VA and the figure as a thirty something adult if you book far enough is advance is not much above that.I will always be thankful for the trips on a Boeing saved me from the hell hole that is the Overland(I am from Adelaide)Overnight.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: