Bonus Post – Things Bogans Will Like

17 11 2009

The select club of refined gentlemen behind Things Bogans Like bring to you a new message: the 8 things bogans WILL like, but don’t yet realise they’ll like. Compiled from many hours of inner-urban research at venues that the bogan is not currently familiar with, the list reveals the trends that bogans will embrace in the near future, and completely ruin.

Twitter

In the past 18 months, the new bogan has belatedly made the switch from MySpace to Facebook as its social networking website of choice. This has caused trendsetters to start making the switch from Facebook over to Twitter. Once the bogan realises that there are celebrities on Twitter, and that no interaction on there is more than 140 characters in length, it will be unable to resist the appeal of broadcasting its every move to its friends via its phone or computer. Even better, the 140 character limit is something that bogans have been training for for years, via generally unintelligible text message abbreviations. The trendsetters, meanwhile, will migrate elsewhere, galled by the flood of tweeted rubbish that the bogan will bring.

Phở

Now that Contiki is doing trips across Southeast Asia, and Vietnam has become known among the more avant bogans as “Thailand but cheaper”, it’s almost time for the bogan to adopt a Vietnamese dish in the same way that it did for Pad Thai, Butter Chicken, and Beef and Black bean. Pho (which the bogan will mispronounce with a hard P instead of an “F”) is a Vietnamese soup with rice noodles, meat and bean sprouts. Endorsing Pho will allow the bogan to appear worldly, but not TOO worldly.

Fat basketball boots

Inner urban hipsters have been (ironically) getting around in the chunky late 80s/early 90s style basketball boots for a while, and they’re now teetering on the brink of crossing over to the bogan. As was the fashion at the time, these boots are often characterised by their dramatic designs and bright colours, which will be enormously appealing to the bogan’s lack of subtlety and restraint. Some also feature fun gimmicks such as inflatable tongues. The new bogan will soon be willing to pay as much as $250 for shoes of this nature.

Fred Perry polo shirts

The new bogan is on a constant mission to wreck the brand image of every manufacturer of premium polo shirts. In the early years of the current decade, Ralph Lauren saw itself get whisked away into bogan hands, and soon every new bogan was swanning around in one of their polos, collars infuriatingly upturned. This trend lasted for a couple of years, after which the bogan went in search of a new brand to hijack. Temporary dalliances with Lacoste and Nautica did severe damage to both labels, but the new bogan is soon to discover Fred Perry. Fred Perry polo shirts are vintage English tennis gear, quite expensive, and a current staple of the inner-city trendster scene. Once the bogan realises this, there’ll be no turning back.

Bon Iver

Bon Iver ticks all appropriate boxes for receiving massive amounts of bogan love. The band has a second album due sometime in 2010, and while the debut received glowing critical acclaim, it did not create what the bogan can identify as ‘hype’. Bon Iver possesses sufficient sensitivity and clearly identifiable melody to make it appeal to the bogan, while offering significant scope for remixing. Even better, Bon Iver slots fairly neatly into the gentle acoustic milieu of Jose Gonzalez, Jack Johnson, et al, meaning that this particular brand of sensitivity is not for ‘poofs’. Just as Jeff Buckley allowed the bogan to appear emotionally attuned 15 years ago, Bon Iver will now fill the gaping void of accepted gentle male acoustic folk. Bogans will like them.

Gin

The new bogan is soon to grow tired of Jagermeister, along with developing a heart condition from all of the energy drinks used to create Jager Bombs. It will seek solace in Gin, a distinctly British drink that will surf the British fad in the lead-up to the 2012 Olympic Games. The inner-urban elite has been connecting over gin for a few years now, and the bogan will soon embrace the refreshing taste, premix compatibility, alcohol potency, and capacity to be blended with citrus. How well it combines with energy drinks is currently untested, but the recently released lemon flavoured V energy drink is an early bogan contender.

Carbon neutral products

Despite its illustrious history of burning vast amounts of fossil fuel in the name of transportation or leisure, the new bogan is soon to latch onto carbon neutrality for some of its purchases. The female bogan will drive this trend, adopting the increasingly mainstream mantra it is “the right thing to do”. This switch will come about primarily out of a desire to be seen as up to date, rather than from any particular conviction relating to environmentalism or sustainability. The male bogan will follow shortly after, enticed by the prospect of impressing the female’s new value system, and hopeful of bedding her. The bogan will apply the principle of carbon neutrality very inconsistently across its day.

Wayfarer sunglasses

The Blues Brothers is one of those films that it’s OK to like, no matter who you are. But not for long. A couple of years ago, when ultra-cool trendsetters started picking up Jake and Elwood’s ubiquitous sunglasses from op-shops, it spelled trouble. Today, they are issued to every person under the age of 30 who owns a pair of tight jeans and/or has over 10,000 non-remix songs on their iPod – or more appropriately, their Creative Zen. But it is going to be short-lived. Ray Ban has, by making squillions of them and giving them a cool-sounding name, made Wayfarers a prime target for the bogan hordes. They’re cool, they’re expensive, they have brand-recognition cred, and they look great with a flannel shirt and tight pants, the upcoming bogan uniform. Expect to see them at FCUK soon.

Fixed Gear Bicycles

We didn’t think so, but…

http://www.industrie.com.au/news/

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104 responses

17 11 2009
Lord Toastie

Fred Perry and Twitter has already happened.

Bogans embracing Bon Iver will make me cry though

19 11 2009
CB

I agree with the above… I never even joined Twitter because of the whole celebrity aspect. I just knew it would be over run by brain dead bogans looking to “connect” with “Britney Spears”

I don’t know about Gin though… the lowe end of the market tastes like shit and the high end is quite expensive

17 11 2009
elaine

I’m saying no to gin. yes to Agwa.

It’s green and works well as a shooter at the bar.

And they already sell it at the Harrietville ‘top pub’ (where the most popular drink for the laydeez this past winter was kahlua and milk).

17 11 2009
Nate

No, please don’t let them take over my precious gin! DNW bogans trying to discuss the merits of Tanqueray vs Hendricks and the botanical composition of each.

19 11 2009
CB

Hendricks is my fave!

23 10 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Tanqueray is my favourite. There is no way the bogan would drink either Tanqueray or Hendricks. They will drink Gordon’s or Beefeater, hahaha idiots.

17 11 2009
ColinJ

Twitter feeds the arrogant bogan’s unshakable belief that everything they say and do is of vital importance to the world at large. It’s basically the Big Brother house on a grand, text-based scale.

17 11 2009
Miz

I will be well upset when bogans embrace justin vernon

17 11 2009
Tone

Chai appears to be conspicuously absent from this list. Maybe it’s still a bit too soon?

17 11 2009
Simon

Tone,

Methinks too late.

17 11 2009
sub

No, not Bon Iver & Gin.

Say it ain’t gonna be so.

PLEASE.

17 11 2009
SMac

Really, is there anything that a bogan does not like according to this site? The list is just getting too big, and covering too wide a scope…and I think you’re really missing the point of what is a true bogan!!

Animal Collective. Bogans don’t like Animal Collective. They also don’t like the Greens. Or Noam Chomsky. Or philosophers generally for that matter. And chemistry. They hate that. – TBL

18 11 2009
Jasper

They don’t like welfare for other people.

19 11 2009
Indi

Part of the quality of contemporary consumer culture is the proof of Marx’ – now there’s someone bogans don’t like- idea that capitalism has a protean nature. Instead of the traditional forms of culture and dress, founded in climate, work or religious practice, anything can be marketed to almost anyone in a post-industrial society.
Consumers don’t know what they want until somebody else tells them.

For instance, most of what the TBL authors find distressing in CUB culture was cutting edge ‘style’ pushed in The Face in the 80s. The boo-hoo-ing of indie band fans (“Bogans stole my heroes!”) is hilarious for those of us who remember U2 or Talking Heads as off the popular radar then.

Funnier still is bogan radio playing ‘hits of the 70s 80s and 90s’ they never would have at the time. Copping Joy Division in the supermarket between inane commercial announcers is pretty strange, but that’s capitalism working its magic. It does go both ways – AC/DC do what they did so well that people who hated them in the 80s now acknowledge how good they were.

Taste can be about how many things you can like, for what they are, not how much shit you can put on things that make you feel superior.

17 11 2009
chris of South yarra

do bogans like elctronic music ? i dunno anymore , what about tuacca surely thats the next big drink ??

13 02 2012
Lord Boofhead

They still like shit Electronic Music.

Stuff you never hear at a rave. (or at least didn’t when I used to go, Before all the metros and tossers jumped on board and ruined things) You know the stuff it thunders out of bogan cars doing blockies going untz untz untz…

There must be a “Shit Electric Music for Bogan Blockies” compalation every year…

17 11 2009
KStar

Oh man, don’t pick on gin! It’s been my fave for a ton of years now and you say it’s going to be boganised?? Don’t say it’s so!

But truthfully, I do actually know someone who is a border-line bogan and they’ve recently taken to G&Ts. So maybe your prediction is correct….sigh.

17 11 2009
Nate

G&Ts have definitely been making a comeback the past few years but I’m hoping / not sure if they’ll truly catch on with the bogan.

AGWA is a good call above, it has the necessary mix of danger and thwarting the law “it’s made from cocaine!”

17 11 2009
Jamie

Bogans will, within 2 years, be decked out in Zara, head-to-toe.

17 11 2009
Kris

Volunteering

17 11 2009
Lee

Done, done, done and done! The wayfarers have been smashed to bits, I’m waiting for oakley to re-release their frogskins and the new age bogan will lose his shit! Fred Perry has already happened as the NAB has lost his taste for la coste, jag, country road, and of late Ben Sherman.
G&T’s with a ‘twist’ are popular, my cousin and his footy mates are all over this one.
The only one I’m a little suss on is going carbon neutral. There are too many turbo charged rice burners, shitbox utes that bounce up and down, dirt bikes, SS utes, malibu and lewis wakeboarding boats getting around for this to happen too soon.

18 11 2009
Armando

Thats the “beauty” of the bogan!

He will try and be obnoxious about going green, making sure the jones and co all know about his green efforts and then proceed to get into his clubsport for a 2 min drive to stock up on winnie blues and “european beer made locally” at thirsty camel.

17 11 2009
J

I’ve been wearing fat basketball boots for a number of years now and I am quite pleased with them 😦 I don’t want bogans to ruin my favourite kind of footwear D:

17 11 2009
Kondor Man

Sorry J, one thing bogans love to do is take something we normals love and metaphorically wipe their asses with it. Just do the complete opposite of what they do, makes it easier.

17 11 2009
r.jett

1. since when was the polo not a bogan item? irrespective of brand or cost, the polo is a pox on society and should be purged from the world.
2. Who cares about twitter in the first place to give a damn??
3. Since when was the blues brothers ok to like? lovers of this movie are not hipsters or bogans. They’re just lame. Very, very, lame.

17 11 2009
Dee

1. Agree.
2. Agree.
3. AGREE. God, I hate that movie.

13 02 2012
jodyfwall

Hang on, just hang on. The Blues Brothers is not a Bogan Movie. They may say they like it, they might even be able to rattle off a line or two or know a track or two, but it is most certainly not a bogan movie. I question anybodies taste that doesn’t think the Blues Brothers is funny, it’s not Life of Brian funny, but certainly very close.

I’m thinking Monty Python should be breaking into bogan culture soon. Not they they will actually understand the humour in it either.

17 11 2009
shazza

Seems we have two threads running simultaneously so I’ll repeat myself here.
Cashed up Bogan – Tapas and Sparkling Shiraz.

17 11 2009
Benjamin

Sparkling Shiraz? Say it ain’t so.

17 11 2009
shazza

Not yet – but soon.

19 11 2009
Indi

It’s only a problem if you too are a slave to fashion. If you like the drink- and I do- why should you care? They’ll never make it to the Seppelt Show Vintage.

17 11 2009
toony

Don’t start me on tapas…If I see another tapas bar…
For the uninitiated, tapas is small portions of food, served free when a drink is purchased in bars in smaller towns and villages in Spain (mainly).
Foolish yuppies don’t seem to agree though, and willingly pay for small portions of shitty food (whatever is popular in GQ etc) thus killing the spirit of it all…..

17 11 2009
Ryan

Bon Iver’s ‘skinny love’ was featured on Grey’s Anatomy last year. It has already begun.

17 11 2009
Anonymous Bosch

Good call on Bon Iver. Bogans love Journeymen musician, of the ‘competent but undistinguished’ variety. I’d suggest that the first record was hype, largely based on the ‘tortured artist’ press release story of ‘breakup, wah wah, cabin in the woods, pour your heart out…’

I assume ‘Emma’ left him because she hated his dull and average music as much as I did.

17 11 2009
Freddo

I’m surprised they didn’t mention Fleet Foxes as well…

18 11 2009
r.jett

dude- completely agree. He’s as insipid as starbucks coffee.

17 11 2009
SMC

lol- I fear this blog has jumped the shark by predicting what bogans will like- pray tell- could the select club of refined gentlemen be in fact bogans themselves, if they have such a great insight into their minds?

18 11 2009
Wang Chung

SMC – I know for a fact that some very Bogan-like behaviour is displayed by one of the writers I know personally… But primarily to mock the bogan.
As for gin I have to disagree, and strongly. Gin may be courted in an attempt to look more classy for mating purposes, but it will never become a true bogan drink. And do you know why? All bogan spirits can either be mixed, come pre-mixed, or be had in shooters. Because it’s a spirit that you do not have shots of, thankfully gin escapes this classification. And even the mixing part – bogans only mix with ultra sugary stuff like cola, etc. Gin doesn’t lend itself to this.
So we gin drinkers can breathe easy. Agwa – as previously mentioned – is definitely bogan. But then again, I think it was bogan from the very first moment it was conceived. Anything alcohol + energy = bogan.

18 11 2009
Peter of Kensington

Acting like a bogan in an attempt to be ‘ironic’ and funny? Really? Or is it an attempt to belittle the bogan?

Does your blog-writing friend also say ‘yo’ and ‘what’s up’ while imitating popular hip hop artists from the states? Champagne comedy.

18 11 2009
Simon

Tried Gin and Lemon Squash, very sweet and just waiting for bogans to discover.

18 11 2009
Sam

Gin and Juice? American rap bogans invented this drink in the 90s

22 08 2010
ktime

i have seen G&T in a can before. appalling.

18 11 2009
sflyons

You’re giving them ideas. Please stop.

18 11 2009
Spida

Wine bars

18 11 2009
Spida

Gourmet style home cooking…. inspired by cooking shows such as MasterChef and the inevitable clones from the other networks yet to air. Soon the average Bogan kitchen will be equipped with a pasta makers, ice cream machines, mortar & pestle sets, crepe pans, fish poachers, double boilers etc.

Each of these items will be used a maximum of 3 times each at which point the Bogan will grow bored and return to it’s previous gourmet style of cooking by simply twisting open a jar of Chicken Tonight.

18 11 2009
Armando

oh it’s become. The bogan has this ability to mock whatever they see on their idiot box. A few years ago you had suburban white trash males all think they were “Scotty Cam” with the “renos” and many homes where destroyed.

Now it’s master chef and bogans all around the country aspiring to be chefs. Expect an influx of shitty “mod oz” eateries to open up in suburbs around australia.

Now all we need is an entry about aussies claiming to be a sports loving country – one that sits on their collective arses and watches it on tv and rather than participate.

Or when celebs come to australia this obsession with really wanting to know if said celeb approves of our country.

stupid ACA reporter: “So PINK do you like us, what do you think of australia”
Stupid Celeb: “Insert cliche about how australia is the best country in the world and the people are so great”

17 million collective “gushes” “awwww” and “shes a great girl we love her like one of our own” can be heard around australian suburbia.

This blog is the greatest thing to depict the horrible culture which is australiana. I tip my hat to you chaps!

19 11 2009
Lee

That’s funny. You don’t get out much, do you?

18 11 2009
David Johnson

Re: Carbon neutral products

Yeah right, because the inner-urban elite are SOOOO conscious of the environment, and are REALLY trying to “do the right thing” themselves … HA! You’re all a bunch of status-seeking sheep!

18 11 2009
Armando

baaaa

18 11 2009
Tri$tan

This post is really scary.

I like just about all those things, and was happy.

No I feel like they’re after me.

19 11 2009
Indi

Aww sweetie, buck up! Knowing that bogans want your stuff should make you feel like you’re ahead of the pack. Doesn’t that make you feel cool and edgy anymore?

18 11 2009
Stormy

So… does this mean that if they’re going to like Bon Iver soon they’ll discover Mumford and Sons in about a year and a half’s time?

Or maybe only as soon as they hear it in next year’s hottest 100. That seems to be where they learn about popular music 6 months after its done it’s dash.

18 11 2009
SD

Bogans will, within 2 years, be decked out in Esty, head-to-toe. Though if regretsy is any proof, they are already making some of the things on etsy.

18 11 2009
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Hmm, I can’t wait to see the “I got huge” ‘roided up bogan squeezing into the dainty English sizing of a Fred Perry polo.

18 11 2009
chris of South yarra

basketball shoes has been happening for about the last 15 years , do you live in cave ?

18 11 2009
steve

if you like these things now, don’t fear. As we speak, they are still ok. Bon Iver is still fantastic stuff, and Ray Bans are still the best sunglasses floating around. The point of this post is to point out the primary attribute of every new age bogan: his/her obliviousness to trends, hence meaning they catch on these things far too late – Years too late – and destroy them. THE BOGAN’S DEFICIENT TASTE IS WHAT DRIVES SOCIETY’S FASHION FORWARD, THE PRIMARY REASON WHY ‘COOL’ CHANGES EVERY SEASON: IN AN ATTEMPT TO OUT-RUN THE BOGAN.

19 11 2009
Indi

Where’s Roland Barthes when you need him? I know, I know, in the ground after going under a laundry truck.

You pretty much got it all right it’s just the system is driven by manufacturers and advertisers with bogans, and anyone else who’s a slave to fashion complicit in deciding that they ‘need’ something new, (different, nice) over and above replacing worn-out things. The exercise of taste is usually about opting in to a group, or not having a wide enough experience, imagination, or confidence to choose differently.

19 11 2009
Lee

In other words, people that are concerned with what others may think of them due to appearance, clothing, gadgetry, etc.?
I laugh at these fuckers!

19 11 2009
Indi

Thought you might, Lee. Of course, that’s also a position, to be ‘outside’ of the mainstream. How sincere you are about rejecting the values of the mainstream is the question. If it’s not about impressing others, but your own argued position, all this stuff is easily shrugged off.

20 11 2009
Lee

You’re right it is easily shrugged off but it is good to have a chuckle about it!
If ever you find yourself up here and happen to be near cronulla on a weekend night take a walk, you will have a good laugh!

20 11 2009
Indi

Ah the Self-Absorbed and the Heavily Scented, together forever! I did live at Bondi for many years, so I get the picture.

As you know I have the local delights of the Border Mail, which still runs wedding photos. Do ALL grooms wear black shirts?

20 11 2009
Lee

Indi you are too good! Bondi (beach) now is only a rung above Cronulla with the only difference being the educated eurotrash and “arty” types infesting the place.
I was there working only a couple of days ago up warner ave and I tell you it is getting worse!
Glad you get the picture though.

19 11 2009
Youller

I’m starting to think the ‘cool’ indie kids are as shallow, obnoxious and horde-like as the bogans. Can I suggest indie kids are the bogans going under the radar (to use a bogan Big Brother reference)?

19 11 2009
Indi

Pretty much- it’s all about status anxiety. Whether you fit right in, or are ‘different’ in a way which is socially acceptable, and puts you ahead of the pack, or into another, hipper, pack. It’s easy to think of it as adolescent behaviour, but this is how many people live their whole lives. Unless there is a source of calmness and confidence to counter this drives people to all sorts of idiocy. Artists (or even just perforers) who rely on their popularity or have a limited shelf life can be driven to vile behaviour to prove they’re special.

19 11 2009
Youller

Too true Indi. Whether someone is at the beginning of a trend or at the tail end (or 5 years after it’s death), it’s still trend-following. Trends drive all this hyper-consumption, and it’s the hyper-consumption that is the real issue – this is were the elite, the bogans, the cool kids all have something in common.

8 11 2010
SVB

‘going under the radar’??
ahh, that’s borderline malapropism, methinks
‘flying under the radar’ would be correct – how appropriate!

18 11 2009
j-ho

Bon Iver? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The bogan cannnot ruin him for me. Ever! If they do, then just give them Volcano Choir and they will be off him straight away. I’m seriously hoping they don’t jump onto Grizzly Bear or else.

19 11 2009
Freddo

I reckon they’ve already got their eye of Grizzly Bear. Next they’ll start banging on about how great Monsters Of Folk are. Or maybe even Wild Beasts…
The internet is the ultimate tool for lazy fickle bogan music fans as they can quickly educate themselves via Youtube & Wikipedia.
Via modern acoustic folk/roots/whatever music, the bogan thinks he will appear more sensitive & cultured in a pathetic attempt to try & score with non-bogan females.

19 11 2009
j-ho

I just think Bon and Grizz are a bit too strange for the bogan to truly comprehend. They may like the occasional song here or there but the albums as a whole will pose the ultimate problem. I am yet to hear the modern bogan bang on about much music I like at all and the mention of Bon Iver on this site made me shudder.

They’ll only like one or two songs. The ones that commercial radio and cover bands pick up. The bogan generally lacks the initiative and attention span to school themselves on an entire album of this type of stuff, but that will not stop them from professing their like of Bon Iver. TBL

19 11 2009
J Bar

Bogans love queueing up outside the theatre for hours for the premiere of blockbuster movies like Twilight. Some bogans even flew to Los Angeles to view it one day before Australia.

19 11 2009
Angry In Brunswick

“Does your blog-writing friend also say ‘yo’ and ‘what’s up’ while imitating popular hip hop artists from the states? Champagne comedy.”

Ha! One of them DEFINITELY does. : ) Then again, you can love something and mock it at the same time. We do this with our mates everyday; don’t see why music should be any different. Queen is OTT and ridiculous; it’s also EPIC.

Nothing wrong with much of what’s mentioned – Ray Bans, Bon Iver – the common thread, of course, is jumping on the bandwagon a year (or two, or three, or twenty) too late.

If i go into one more *fucking* cafe and hear the first Midlake album…

19 11 2009
Youller

And when bogans go and see their favourite band, they love spending the bulk of the time recording the show on their phones.

19 11 2009
JimC

That pisses me off. You’re watching a band and all you can see around you is arms sticking up with little glowing screens on the end of them.

Obviously these goons think that getting their blurry, shaky, unlistenable footage on YouTube is more of a priority than actually enjoying the show.

It’s like people who go on holiday and see the entire thing through the eyepiece of a camera so they can, presumably, enjoy their holiday when they get home.

19 11 2009
Youller

But the funny thing is, since bogans love new gadgets, the technology will be replaced due to this demand, therefore the footage will be in a format that will become redundant and in time they won’t be able to watch it, and because they weren’t really in the moment at the time, they won’t remember the event / holiday. Bless.

16 02 2012
Archer

You do realise
The the sole purp

16 02 2012
Archer

You do realise
The the sole purpose of attending events such as a concert is to gather sufficient footage to plaster all over their social media spaces showing how much of a good time they are capable of having while proving how cool they are.
Enjoyment or appreciation of said event does not play any part in the experience.

19 11 2009
berihebi

That’s sooo spooky. I just asked for a Fred Perry shirt and a pair of fat basketball boots for christmas. Hey, WTF!

19 11 2009
Indi

But from your significant other, your mum, or your nana?

19 11 2009
Youller

Can we add token charity and ‘over-sentimentality’ in general to the things bogans like?

19 11 2009
Indi

Bollywood. (Just waiting for the Bollywood star Bogan Josh, or is that dish?)

19 11 2009
JimC

No, the hipsters have already claimed Bollywood. Bogans wouldn’t stand for those terrible movies.

Mind you, neither would I.

… Oops!

19 11 2009
Youller

I’d imagine anything with subtitles should be right. Now western ‘adaptations’ of foreign films is a different story.

19 11 2009
Indi

Mamma Mia was a kind of Bollywood remake, but a shit kind of movie.

19 11 2009
Youller

That reminds me, I’m noticing bogans are flocking to see that Julie / Julia movie with Meryl Streep. There’s the cooking aspect (MasterChef anyone?), bogans like impersonations (Meryl does Julia), plus loads of schmaltz & sappiness.

19 11 2009
Indi

Like The Sound of Music?

Nora Ephron is a bogan staple – think Meg Ryan’s ‘nice’ movies – she also writes pretty good mainstream fluff. Chick flicks are definitely a bogan genre, as the obverse of the action movie.

Don’t tell bogans, but action movies are actually dance epics.

19 11 2009
JimC

Grrrrrr!!! Bogans DO love those remakes.

And all those appalling straight-to-video Steven Seagal movies.

I’ll stop there before I go off on a rant. 😉

19 11 2009
Indi

Now now, nobody makes you watch them.

20 11 2009
David

Sounds like a new blog is on the way…things wankers like. Similarly to the bogan, the wanker achieves gratification, just through other means, such as acquiring taste from their tastemakers (eg. pitchfork for Bon Iver, Grizzly Bear etc…, uk indie-fashion scene) & the need to converse with like-minded people (see this blog), but most importantly for the wanker, the ignorance of the masses to help sneer at the less cool.

Love the blog though!

20 11 2009
Indi

Like the ‘Bogan Pride’ episode ‘The Need for Mong’?

20 11 2009
Bogan Hater

It’s very disturbing that a lot of bogans from up Gympie way seemed to suddenly turn into greenies in order to stop the Traveston Dam from proceeding. I thought bogans hated greenies!

20 11 2009
Lee

Isnt Gympie the bogan capital Australia? There was a time not so long ago where it was the crime capital of our fair country.

21 11 2009
Bogan Hater

Yes, there are a lot of bogans up there. Which is why it seems strange that they claimed to want to save the bum-breathing turtle and lungfish as their reason for not having the dam.

22 11 2009
Boris

Please please god not Bon Iver.

23 11 2009
Jeebus

As sh#*turners bogans love the 2nd law of thermodynamics (things go to entropy) – there is no way they’ll pick up carbon neutral products (unless they confuse carbon with carbs, Today Tonight tells them to, or they see it on Neighbours).

29 11 2009
ahoyhoy

I like your site but don’t ever denegrate pho again. As far as the pronunciation is concerned, it’s actually more close to fe that fo. Sort that shit out.

Um, we only specified the pronunciation of the P versus F, so basically you’ve imagined something we didn’t mention, then decided we mentioned it incorrectly. It’ll be pretty hard for us to win when pitted against a logic sequence like that. TBL

30 11 2009
ahoyhoy

“Pho (which the bogan will mispronounce with a hard P instead of an “F”)…”

Mr. Administrator…

I am trying to inform you that your suggestion towards the pronunciation of the word, ‘Pho’, is infact also wrong. The bogan may pronounce it as ‘po’ and in all your misinformed glory you saw it fit to proclaim to your subscribers that it is actually ‘fo’. It is a vietnamese word used by vietnamese people and, in their language, it is annunciated as ‘fe’… Granted, my last post was vague and didn’t satisfy your grammatical requirements. I hope this will suffice.

All the best

Mr. Confused Commenter,

If you will care to re-read the post, you will see that we made absolutely ZERO reference to the pronunciation of the second half of the word ‘Pho’. We merely insinuated that the bogan will adopt it and mispronounce the opening letter. Should you choose to begin a blog bemoaning the inability of the bogan to mispronounce the entire word, that would indeed be a noble goal, and we here at TBL encourage you in that pursuit.

On a more personal note, we admire and respect your impassioned defence of the noble Vietnamese soup, which we all enjoy on a quiet Tuesday night when we couldn’t be shagged cooking, and are truly gladdened to see that it has such steadfast pronunciation warriors stalking the blogosphere making the case you have so strangely attempted to make here.

Cheers – TBL

30 11 2009
ahoyhoy

Another example of misinformed grammar — annunciated should have been enunciated. Looks like we all have a bit of bogan in us. I’m off to read the Herald Sun 🙂

Technically, grammar can’t be misinformed. But you can be. – TBL

1 12 2009
ahoyhoy

If the meaning of misinform is “to give or deliver false, fake, or misleading information”, then how can grammar not be misinformed? I used incorrect spelling for a word which gave it a completely different meaning and context. I realised the error in my ways and corrected them.

Please provide a techincal example of how grammar can not be misinformed.

The point I was trying to make was that if you are to pull up the new age bogan on the pronunciation of a word, you should also know the right way of saying it. It’s hipocritcal. Again, I realise that you “made absolutely ZERO reference to the pronunciation of the second half of the word ‘Pho’”, but if there was ever an example of grammar being misleading, this is a good place to start. The pronunciation of this word was definitely insinuated.

Going off for some pho now actually. Let’s hope I don’t get lambasted by a group of Ed Hardy t-shirt wearing, personalised number plate driving, tribal tattooed buddhist worshipping cashed up bogans. 😉

You’re very confusing. But we like you anyway. – TBL

30 11 2009
Indi

Then there’s the possibility of the Pho-gan- the Vietnamese Australian version of bogans.

10 12 2009
Logan Walker

Things bogans like used to be quite funny and poignant up until around post 23, since then it’s been quite hit and miss. I mean things like twitter, 80’s style shoes, Bon Iver, Jeff Buckley, Rove, weddings and finding God being things that only bogans like? Really?

Can you identify for us where we ever said that ONLY bogans like this stuff? What we do is list things bogans like, and then describe the particular facets of those things that appeal to the bogan. I’m pretty sure that 99% of people who read the blog comprehend this, but you evidently do not. TBL

It seems like this site has become a space for the guys who run it to complain about things they despise for becoming popular among young australians in general. They remind me of the type of hipster described below.

“Hipsterdom is the first “counterculture” to be born under the advertising industry’s microscope, leaving it open to constant manipulation but also forcing its participants to continually shift their interests and affiliations. Less a subculture, the hipster is a consumer group – using their capital to purchase empty authenticity and rebellion. But the moment a trend, band, sound, style or feeling gains too much exposure, it is suddenly looked upon with disdain. Hipsters cannot afford to maintain any cultural loyalties or affiliations for fear they will lose relevance.”

You’ve become arrogant ponces who have lost sight of their vision and I’m worried about you. I hope you step up your game on future posts.

So if you think you’re complaining about a culture that complains about a culture, what does that make you? TBL

11 08 2010
AntiPajero

A locigectomy sufferer…?

6 03 2010
damn it all

1) I love that Industrie (with an ‘ie’) fixed gear has a ‘product note’ that there is a problem with front wheel. Nice work Industrie. I want to say more but can’t…

2) Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the post ‘Last year’s designer drug’ basically the bogan in a nutshell. When we’re talking about Bon Iver, Tight jeans and shirts etc, isn’t that just it? The bogan is forever playing a game of catch up, like a dangling carrot in front of a donkey, yes?

10 08 2010
Ben carr

I don’t think bogans will ever take to bike riding or fixies. Bogans hate bike riders getting in the road of their 12 m square transportation cages.
Also the bogan hates being maligned, in fear and sweating innapropriately in public, To bogans this sums up bike riding. if it only has to cop 2 of these travesties a few bogans may give it a go. However the horror of bearing the brunt of all 3 calamities (especially sweating) means bogans will never enjoy pushbikes in their most pure and practical form.
For the creative bogan desiring to ride and willing to endure fear and loathing it determines to circumnavigate it’s fear of sweat. It thinks hard and reduces all of the push bikes Many benefits down to one. the m bougue acheives this when pioneering new relms of wastefulness and public harrasment straps a two stroke engine to his kmart mtb, and the f bougue reaches a similar conclusion in the form of a heavy expensive but poor quality chinese made electric bike with what looks like an office chair bolted to it’s seat post. Both quickly stop riding when their poor quality bikes start falling apart or the awful seats give them unnatractive irritating chafing when they decide to pedal.
If bogans ever end up with a fixie in their hands it will only be to push or ride it down a mainstreet a few m for appearances sake only. They will never optimize or realise it’s commuting potential. but as 12 year olds (the other fad killers) have been riding fixed for the last few years the chances of any bogan taking to fixed riding is increasingly remote

13 02 2012
Stredders

Twitter? Check. (thanks Warnie…)

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