Bogan Bribe Watch – May 28th

28 05 2010

There’s Jews in Israel?

The bogan once read a spy novel. Probably by Tom Clancy, but it has heard rumours of names like Le Carre, Ambler and Forsyth, but hasn’t seen any films adapted from their work, so sticks with Clancy and his Jack Ryan-led series of CIA hijinx. Being a bogan, the bogan believes that its true destiny, cruelly stolen from it by years of apathy and absenteeism, was in fact to be a spy. Shoot guns, shag chicks (or guys), perform deeds of derring-do. You know, be maxtreme. The bogan just loves espionage.

The Rudd government realised this. When confronted by a misbehaving Mossad, the perfect opportunity arose – they could expel an Israeli agent (actually a mid-level functionary) from the country. Kevin Rudd: Tough On Spies. The association of the government with anything that has been peripherally dealt with in Clear and Present Danger makes the bogan deeply excited.

Some bogans also know that Israel is in the middle east, so is thrilled that K-Rudd is booting Arabs out of Australia. In fact, though, the bogan would dislike this if it knew the Israelis were at war with Arabs. Either way, K-Rudd appeared to be on a winner with this bogan friendly, hipster friendly piece of non-aquatic expulsion. Then the Libs figured the same thing out.

Julie ‘Darth’ Bishop, shadow foreign minister, decided to one-up the Ruddster by tiptoeing perilously close to treason and suggesting that Australia is no naïf in the business of forging passports. The bogan filled in the assumed blanks, and now knows that the former Howard government clearly sends ASIO spies to Dubai to cap some Arab bad dudes on a regular basis.

Your move, Kevin…

ALP Score: 6 Vodka Martinis out of 10 (two less after Darth Bishop stepped in)

Elsewhere, somewhere in NSW…

In 2007, the bogan was instrumental in electing a Prime Minister who had a well-publicised “romp” at a New York strip club. Indeed, the tanked Rudd was even allegedly kicked out of the venue due to his inappropriate behaviour. The bogan didn’t mind the antics of this married man who was in New York to represent Australia at the United Nations. This is because the bogan also wants to go to New York to leer at strippers, making Kevin a bit of a top bloke, and a vicarious smut adventurer for the bogan.

Last week, however, when another married politician was sprung entering a gay sauna, the bogan was outraged. NSW roads and transport minister David Campbell’s session at Ken’s at Kensington exposed the bogan’s kenophobia, as your typical bogan is desperately unwilling to admit any interest in attending a gay sauna. Sensing that the bogan elects officials solely based on its hypothetical willingness to purchase said official a beer, the NSW Labor Party quickly realised that Campbell’s position was untenable. A hasty ministerial resignation followed, accompanied by a statement from Premier Kristina Keneally that the former minister had made the “right call” in placating the bogan. After a close call, the ALP’s dream of keeping the “Ken” out of Keneally remains alive. Campbell’s only plausible redemption will come from admitting that he is Jimmy Barnes’ son.


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123 responses

28 05 2010
Explosions Hurt

Recent events beg the question: is David Campbell a top or bottom?

28 05 2010
Notorious

David on top. Channle Seven clearly on the bottom

28 05 2010
James Hunter

I’d prefer Kristina Keneally on top. !

28 05 2010
Notorious

Agree!
I’d tap that any day of the week. And twice on Sunday.

28 05 2010
Glass 'em all

“Campbell’s only plausible redemption will come from admitting that he is Jimmy Barnes’ son.” Or Delta Good-ram’s sugar daddy. Dunno, TBL, was that just the slightest whiff of prurience above, when discussing Our Kev’s reaction to a good pole dance?

28 05 2010
Johnny

Even News Corp press condemned Seven’s outing of David Campbell. Surely the bogan didn’t make his OWN opinion?

28 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

That seems highly unlikely Johnny. I think if a
Bogan made it’s own mind up, the one brain cell that functions in it’s head would implode! 😉

28 05 2010
elroncho

Julie ‘ Darth” Bishop! Bwahahahahaha. I think we’ve got a nickname that’s going to stick.

28 05 2010
djm

Nah, she is too insipid and batshit crazy for “Darth”.

28 05 2010
James Hunter

batshit crazy, ? well she is in the liberal party ! and as for looks ? you could grate nutmeg on the face. looks like a long term smoker so maybe she is on borrowed time?

28 05 2010
west_melb_antibogan

She has been copping Truly Julie, which goes well with Phoney Tony and Sloppy Joe.

Sounds like the great lost Enid Blyton book.

28 05 2010
pb

we should write it!

28 05 2010
James Hunter

WMA
was that “Five go of to Government House” ?

28 05 2010
SD

I once sat behind a certain News Corp blogger who shall go unnamed (on a ferry) and he was quite of the opinion that post Kev’s carefully planted “romp”, he was willing to vote for him. So the “top bloke” observation is spot on. But Ken, I don’t know, even mX letter writers want to give him a break.

28 05 2010
common man

Instead of being called bogan bribe watch..eg: for us…wound’t vote winners for dummies 101 be more apt?

28 05 2010
James Hunter

cm,
whats up ? you seem completely lucid today ?

28 05 2010
common man

my head swells at the thought of the compliment

28 05 2010
BonoScotto

haha in the same week that a footballer asked his ghost writer to print an opinion piece about homophobia being rife in football clubs amongst the maxxtreem bogans a NSW pollie was busted at a gay sauna and then forced to resign. The thing is the aker piece made the bogan go down the safe path and denounce it’s homophobia and the next day that same homophobia made a quick comeback to condemn the NSW pollie.

Australia, you really are a bogan infested backwater full of hypocrites.

28 05 2010
vivisection

Hear hear!!

28 05 2010
BonoScotto

facepalm.jpg was used when the story broke on nein last week and following it was the aker drama story.

They really make it too easy for me to hate on australia.

28 05 2010
Benjamin

A shame. There is much to like here.

Keep in mind, this sort of stuff isn’t restricted to this country. We have many fine, intelligent British friends, yet the Sun is the widest circulating newspaper there. I don’t judge them all based on only that.

28 05 2010
Gazza

Really? You don’t think that that circulation of that size represents a “mass” boganism? Bono seems to believe that just because it’s on the telly all Australians believe it & adhere to the media ravings.

Mind you, at least we’re not prosecuting little kids for playing Doctors & Nurses. Go Blighty!!!

28 05 2010
Benjamin

Time for some research (fires up wikipedia)

Well well. The Sun has a circulation of about 3 million in a country with a population of 60 million. That’s a lot of people, but a surprisingly small proportion of the population…

I’d guess that similar phenomena may be found in our own media. It seems that Nein, for example, has only a quarter of the audience share…

Hey! This actually makes me feel hopeful… Perhaps the bogans are simply overrepresented and just the noisiest and most obvious? This happy feeling will not last, I fear.

28 05 2010
Brimstone

I don’t get either passport controversy. probably ’cause i come from a country that would nuke another country if Isreal asked it to, and routinely sends robot drones to do targeted assassinations…

of course intelligence agencies use fake passports!

and John LeCarre is awesome

there’s an Aussie connection there. the grandfather of Christa Hughes from Machine Gun Fellatio was friends with both Le Carre and Ian Fleming and got written into novels from both of them. my mate directed a doco about it… think it was called ‘You Only Live Twice’ or some similar Bond inspired title

28 05 2010
Shirley M

Well yes, of course intelligence agencies use fake passports. The first problem in this instance is that the passports used by Mossad belonged to actual Australian people – so not really fake. The second problem is that a shadow foreign minister should definitely not admit, on camera, that Australia does the same thing.

28 05 2010
pb

good point, shirley. the fact that intelligence agents need to maintain secrecy is obvious, but publicly stating one of the methods used is just stupid.

28 05 2010
common man

yes she did get a mouthfull on question time for that oopsy

28 05 2010
James Hunter

brimstone,
as an expat yank,maybe you could enlighten the audience on the usa’s addiction to snatching people from foreign,soverign terrioteries and smuggling then in unmarked aeroplanes to “flag of convenience” countries for “rendition” ?

That would realy get the bogans going if only Australia had the budget to indulge such meglomaniac fantasies.

28 05 2010
Brimstone

I’m not saying i support it
i’m saying that people are up in arms about Bishop saying ‘we fake passports’ (duh!) while Obama says ‘yes, i’m ordering drone strikes on terrorists and enemy combatants’ (basically assassination) and nobody cares

28 05 2010
miss dahl

So, is ordering a drone strike on terrorists and enemy combatants a bad thing?

28 05 2010
James Hunter

Brim,
Of course she is stupid ,it is a pre requisit for a senior position in the Liberals or the Conservatives as they should be called.
second I guess you would need a few loose shingles to work under tony rabbit.

29 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

JH it’s not just the libs, don’t forget all polliescare stupid, doesn’t matter which side they’re on. 🙂

28 05 2010
Muz

FOF!

Apologies for the thread hijack. (Happy to move it if the mads aren’t happy.)

James, this is off topic but rather than post in the burqa thread where you may not see it I have posted the link here.

This was my whole point about tolerance. Tolerance is good in theory but not always in practice.

http://www.news.com.au/national/push-to-let-australian-doctors-mutilate-genitals-of-baby-girls/story-e6frfkvr-1225872274181

Terrible precedent if they let this go ahead.

FOF!

28 05 2010
Johnny

Let’s do away with male genital mutilation while we’re at it. Squiddies for life!!!!

28 05 2010
vivisection

Muzz, this article has nothing at all to do with tolerance. Its quite clear that the medics raising this issue are not raising it because they tolerate the practice. They are raising it from a Harm Minimisation perspective. This means they acknowledge that the practice is already occuring and young girls are being mutilated by back yard practitioners, they are seeking a way of reducing the ongoing trauma and damage done to these children by bringing it out into the open. By simply saying thats its wrong, or illegal does not prevent it from happening. All forms of prohibition and moral outrage have failed. Very, very different to tolerance. And a very complex ethical situation that does not have any relevance to your argument.

28 05 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
more black helicopters required, send the parents of for a bit of rendition. or just glass em… Hmmm Better if we did both.

28 05 2010
Muz

FOF!

This is the editorial from the Telegraph. Not quite a bastion of quality journalism but it says it far better than I can.

For the slow, pay particular attention to the wife-beating bit.

——————–//——————-

THE practice of female genital mutilation, or FGM, is utterly barbaric. It is cruel, brutal and shockingly perverse.

It is essentially a combination of torture, due to the enormous levels of pain sometimes involved, and enslavement, in that females are denied sexual pleasure.

There is no defending FGM. This isn’t an issue of mere cultural difference, where a happy middle ground may be found. FGM is simply, empirically, totally wrong.

So too would be any accommodation of FGM, however slight, by Australian medical authorities who seek a compromise with those of certain faiths and beliefs.

It isn’t so much that even the smallest form of mutilation might lead to wider acceptance of this practice, but that there is no such thing as minor or “ritual” genital mutilation. It’s all bad.

Some Australian doctors and medical groups may claim that a ritual cutting in a sterile atmosphere is better and safer than similar acts carried out by untrained butchers in homes or backyards.

This happens to be both true and beside the point. A wife-basher’s violence would no doubt be less damaging if carried out under medical supervision, but that doesn’t mean our hospitals should feature supervised domestic violence evenings.

Those who carry out FGM are committing grave crimes. Likewise, those who threaten to carry out such acts either at home or overseas unless doctors yield to their vile wishes are also committing crimes. Child abuse laws already recognise the illegality of violent threats.

And if people want to play the culture card, here’s a quaint old cultural practice of our own. In Australia, we put child mutilators in prison. For years.

———————//—————–

Stand up against these foul acts instead of hiding behind the touchy feely “it’s their right to choose” garbage.

Apartheid, the white Australia policy, slavery, a womans ineligibility to vote or own property were all once tolerated and in fact enshrined in the legislation of the day and/or supported by the church and the larger population. If an INTOLERANCE to these perversions against our fellow human beings didn’t come into wider mainstream thinking then society wouldn’t progress to where it has.

You may as well say you should legalise kiddy porn because banning it only drives it underground. A ludicrous, ignorant argument to make.

So are you for legalising kiddy porn? I mean it’s going to happen anyway. May as well have it done in a safe environment with counsellors at the ready afterwards. Think of it as a Harm Minimisation strategy.

See how ridiculous your argument is? Sometimes you have to make a stand on principle.

I take your point and It may not strictly be tolerance but any quarter given, even in the best interests of harm minimisation, implies tacit approval. (Or tolerance.)

I realise I’m not popular on this board but some of you lot here suffer from group think. One day, probably a long way off, someone on this board will say ‘you know, I don’t like that bloke, but I think he has a point.’

FOF!

29 05 2010
vivisection

Muzz, I have not for a moment condoned any act of female genital mutilation. Nor would I , under any circumstance. I have stated only that your use of this situation to condemn tolerance is innapropriate because the article you quoted was about harm minimisation.

I would imagine that even the people making this incredibly complex decision would agree with you that female genital mutilation is horrendous and intolerable. That said, someone must actually do something, and at least these people are willing to consider all avenues of action, including harm minimisation. They have not decided to do this because they feel an obligation to tolerate the activity, they have decided to try and do something about this because currently nothing effective is being done and children are being mutilated.

Once upon a time abortion was considered intolerable, however, the approach of harm minimisation has allowed for women to safely and effectively terminate pregnancies without gross risk of death, sterility and butchered reproductive organs. For many years, abortion was considered a sin, and intolerable.

Your principles seem to be selectively chosen and adapted to your particular cultural needs. If you were raised in a family that practised female genital mutilation, I wonder if you would rather send you sister to a backyard practitioner or a surgical team?

Of course, if you must jump on to a moral high horse and immediately condemn their attempt to at least investigate this issue and possible solutions, go for it. Before you hop onto this bandwagon of moral outrage, ask yourself Muzz, for someone so incensed by this issue, what have you done, or what do you suggest? If you aren’t part of the solution, your part of the problem.

Muzz, I personally don’t have issue with you as a person. I just wanted to point out what i considered a flaw in your use of the particular article. I do applaud you for at least thinking about these issues, something more than a good 95% of the population manage.

29 05 2010
vivisection

Muzz, your following statement reminded of something:

Muzz: “Stand up against these foul acts instead of hiding behind the touchy feely “it’s their right to choose” garbage.

Hitler “The right to personal freedom comes second in importance to the duty of maintaining the race”

Curious.

29 05 2010
vivisection

forgot – Hitler quote from Mein Kampf, pg 113, Dec 1935 Edition, Paternoster Library, if you want to check.

29 05 2010
Muz

FOF!

“Before I blow my brains out, is this thing loaded?” Hitler, Hitler’s bunker. 1945.

Abortion is an interesting example HOWEVER the right to choose whether or not to have an abortion EMPOWERS women.

Acceptable genital mutilation through a harm minimisation strategy does not.

You accept it, however tacitly, you approve of it and the cycle continues.

And what am I doing? Not much except trying to shoot down crap arguments by so called progressives who think it’s ok to accept whatever cultural baggage some clowns wish to bring here and continue with. It’s not easy, but I’ll keep trying.

I notice you sidestepped my kiddy porn example.

Here’s an article that may pique your interest. No doubt you’ll choose to ignore it but anyway all I can do is try. http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/features/the-infidel/story-e6frg8h6-1225869632861

Bu anyway harm minimise away. Good luck to those poor girls.

FOF!

29 05 2010
vivisection

Muzz, I guess one of the positive things that harm minimisation does is bring the victims into the public sphere instead of having them hidden underground, only to resurface many years later damaged beyond belief. When harm minimisation is well controlled, say for example in heroin / injecting drug user models, the user is in contact with a variety of options before committing the act. Ie. heroin injecting rooms usually have information available regarding detox options and access to social support services, as well as immediate help if the whole event goes belly up. Incidence of death by overdose is greatly reduced and the number of people accessing support services and detox programmes is greatly increased. There is a wealth of material to support this.

But, seeing as you choose the sensationalist and emotive example of Kiddie Porn being made under supervised conditions, I would consider the following before answering. Assuming that the child sexual abuse is gong to occur, regardless of our moral outrage and laws:

1. Would a victim of child pornography prefer to be sexually abused in an environment where there were people present who could attempt to persuade the abuser from performing the act, or in someone’s basement alone?

2. If the abuser decided to continue the act of abuse, would the victim of the abuse prefer to be in an environment where there was immediate access to medical care / emotional suport, or alone in someone’s basement, without anyone knowing what was going on at all?

Given, that at present, victims of the child porn industry aren’t given the option, aren’t in the public sphere and generally receive no support, I guess we have to question ourselves. Is upfront moral outrage at the act which is already happening more important than meeting the immediate needs of the victim?

As I said in my earlier post, these are complex issues that do not have simple answers. I do not see it in black and white. In fact its so f#cking grey its depressing.

However while you seem to advocate using moral outrage, internet forum arguing and the strict application of law to prevent the events from occurring, they still do. Your method does not work and has not worked ever ( think of prohibition in the 1930’s, the War Against Drug since the 1970’s).

Ignoring this fact is also tacit approval.

The article you posted is very interesting and certainly contains facts and issues that are relevant. Most of which i agree with. I am posting this comment in relation to the broader issues you raised in condemning Harm Minimisation methods.

30 05 2010
Muz

FOF!

So no answer on the kiddy porn thing?

No doubt It’s a grey area but sitting on the fence gets you nothing but splinters in your arse.

Warning: Hypocrite alert. I’m all for heroin injecting rooms providing, PROVIDING, those indulging are put on a program to ultimately get them off the stuff.

I can’t see a parallel between this and supervised female genital mutilation. (Given that if the parents change their minds 5 years down the track you can’t exactly sew a brand new clitoral hood on.)

With regards to banning things sure prohibition didn’t work but slavery, a woman’s right to vote, segregation of races, the white Australia policy etc all benefited ultimately to a change in the public mood. These changes came about in small incremental steps by brave people willing to stick up for these minorities. It took many years in some cases but ultimately resulted in a successful outcome.

Now I don’t think for one minute I’m a brave person or that arguing on an internet board will help much at all but if no one speaks up against these things, at least to start a debate, then nothing will ever change.

I sponsor 3 African kiddies. I’m often asked or told more like ‘how do you know where that money is going?’, ‘they probably only get a small percentage of that anyway.’ Blah Blah etc etc.

My answer to that is always SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING. If I donate $100 and only $2 gets there then, even though some scamming bastard has ripped them off, they are still $2 better of then they were before. So that’s my justification here. I ain’t doing much but something is better than nothing.

So given all that I’m coming down on the side of banning these doctors from this harm minimisation rubbish.

I take it you’re a doctor so good luck with your ethical dilemma.

FOF!

30 05 2010
vivisection

Muzz, I’m not a doctor, and frankly I’m not interested in discussing the issue with someone who isn’t capable of having a reasonable discussion. Clearly you aren’t interested in what I, or anyone else has to say on the matter. For the record, I don’t disagree with everything you have to say, and have been open to being convinced of your views. I don’t think you have really paid much attention to what i’ve had to say and it seems that you are only interested in talking about your single minded opinion and seem determined to have a right or wrong, black and white conversation. I think i’ll discuss it with someone else who can actually look at an ethical dilemma and appreciate all of its complexity without having to be right. You have made up your mind on the issue, and I respect that, so won’t waste any more of either of our time.

30 05 2010
Will S

Derp. Simple solution guys: Offer safe, healthy, free FGM to any Muslim or other couples who want it for their daughter.

When they come to make use of the offer, take their kid off them and ship them back to whatever shit hole they came from.

30 05 2010
Muz

FOF!

I am interested and I understand the issues are complex but at some stage, given all the facts and emotions, you have to make a decision, take a stand or choose sides.

You keep saying what IF, but IF this, but IF that.

IF my grandmother had a dick she’d be my grandfather.

You obviously prefer to fence sit rather than make a decision one way or the other. I’m comfortable enough to announce, rightly or wrongly, what side of the fence I prefer to be on.

Cheers

FOF!

30 05 2010
Muz

FOF!

Love your work Will S!

FOF!

30 05 2010
vivisection

So Will, it’s ok for the child to be abused somewhere else, but not here?

And finally, Muzz, I assume you want to see an end to male circumcisions being performed in clinical settings too? Genital mutilation is genital mutilation, regardless of gender. Lets make it illegal, unsupervised and nowhere near sterilised instruments. How does that sit on your side of the fence?

30 05 2010
Muz

FOF!

To Viv re: Male circumcision.

Yep, ban that too. (Sits fine on my side of the fence. You should see the view from over here. Magnificent!! No grey sky at all just as clear as far as the eye can see.)

Ridiculous religious/superstitious tradition. If someone doesn’t take the first step against these outdated daft practices they will never die off.

And before someone says it’s for hygiene reasons would you cut your boys ears off because he didn’t wash behind them?

And as for people not paying attention to what people post if you read Will’s post correctly he said keep the child in Australia, deport the parents. I’m pretty sure he was half joking. Though not a half bad idea either.

FOF!

30 05 2010
Will S

viv I’m suggesting that anyone who wants to do it should forfeit their right to have or be responsible for children

31 05 2010
James

Sorry for the lateness of my reply, but I was at the coast on the weekend being pummeled by the wind with family.

Muz, I never made any arguments on the basis of tolerance. I argue from the standpoint of liberty, and when it comes to issues like this, a child’s liberty trumps their parents right to mutilate them, hands down.

There is no equivalence with any kind of pro-burka argument here at all.

28 05 2010
TheMon

Great post. I personally know a bogan who said there are no Jews at all down Mornington way.. Bless his ignorant soul.

28 05 2010
Ian Hume

No mention of Jason Bourne? I’m disappointed.

28 05 2010
28 05 2010
T-ra

I think it was disgraceful the way that the media handled the David Campbell ‘affair’. I thought we lived in a society that was beyond caring what people do in their private life in the company of consenting adults.

Then in the same fortnight we get that f*#$wit Jason Akermanis making the comments regarding gay footballers and the fact that they should stay in the closet. Why the hell did that knuckledragger’s opinion get so much attention? He is the AFL equivalent of the village idiot!

Why is it that hetrosexual male sports stars can engage in whatever vile behaviour they so choose, and then end up with their own TV show, but anyone else is forced to hide away in shame? Sad, sad statement on Australian culture.

28 05 2010
JimC

Poor bogans and their lack of knowledge of quality literature.

Sadly, a true masterpiece like Le Carre’s THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD would be lost on the average bogan. Especially since it doesn’t have a maxxtreme ending where the bogan hero machine guns a helpless boat-load illegal immigrants while it chugs a can of Mother before giving rough anal to a very small, subservient Asian prostitute.

7 06 2010
Mick

That was the ‘alternative ending’ Le Carre always used to bang on about…

28 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Somehow this blog lead me to thinking about horses and then suddenly I saw a review for the new Sex in the City travesty. Apparently it is not very good. I for one can barely contain my non surprise. Can we get Brimstones government to abduct SJP and rendition her arse? Or merely revoke her passport on the basis of not being human.

Britain’s Times newspaper said: “Sadly this sequel is not ‘Sex and the City’ – it is ‘Menopause in the Desert,’ and a waste of four great characters.”

The New York Times was also unimpressed, saying: “Your watch will tell you that a shade less than two and a half hours have elapsed, but you may be shocked at just how much older you feel when the whole thing is over.”

28 05 2010
Shirley M

Nice segue Simon… 😐

I personally have never seen what all the fuss was about with SATC, and as a result, other members of my sex view me with suspicion. I have only seen one episode, which remarkably aptly, was all about anal. The slutty character loved it of course, and the sweet, naive one was more interested in buying quality linen than trying it out. Can’t remember where the horse and the lesbian stood on the issue. Anyway…. if this new film bombs as spectacularly as predicted, it will be a happy outcome for me, as the chances of me ever having to hear about these boring slags again will be drastically reduced.

28 05 2010
vivisection

Its pretty sad how a show like SATC can pigeon hole women into 4 very basic stereotypes / caricatures and women around the world continue to fall over themselves to desperately fit into these. Every time I hear some scrubber order a Cosmopolitan I want to shake the silly bitch and tell her to a have a scotch neat. Every time I hear some fool bang on about Jimmy Choo shoes I want to drive a stiletto through their silly feckin noggin! Pointlessly f#ck up your feet, knees and ankles by emulating some ditzy horse on someone elses tax dollar.

28 05 2010
vivisection

I wonder if they have to nail SJP’s shoes on? If someone attends this travesty, look out for a farrier in the credits and get back to us.

29 05 2010
-nico-

The mention of SJP’s farrier reminds me of the way Jeremy Clarkson described her one time. “She looks like a boiled horse.”

28 05 2010
Shirley M

It’s because women think ‘they say what I think, but would never say!’

Just today I declined an invitation to attend a SATC2 party. Cosmos pre-screening, the movie, and then a bit of dancing to round off the night. That is my own personal hell, right there.

I f*cking love stilettos, though. I do, however, generally reserve them for special occasions.

28 05 2010
vivisection

Stilettos are cool, its just when you see shit like SJP saying in interview “Carrie wears stilettos like other women wear Ug boots” “She wears them to relax” or similar crap.

NB I did paraphrase a bit there, the exact quote may differ slightly, but that was the gist of it!

28 05 2010
Shirley M

I think I saw that interview (or perhaps a completely different one, not that it would matter), and you have paraphrased nicely, retaining the important information that SJP is a f*cking moron, matched only by her ‘character’.

28 05 2010
miss dahl

I thought you guys were smarter than bogans i.e. it’s just a TV show/movie, they are acting and getting paid truckloads of cash for it. Why the angst?

28 05 2010
SD

Because as opposed to just being a TV show we are constantly told it captures the zeitgeist of the age and because empowerment now pretty much equals wearing a Jimmy Choo shoe?

28 05 2010
miss dahl

Yes, well I realised it was all marketing bullshit with the TV series. My experience with SATC came much later than everyone elses. About a year ago I watched the entire final series over a weekend, to see what I was missing. In a nutshell, the only truly admirable thing is the friendship, love and loyalty between the four characters. As for empowerment via shoes: I sold my manolos for a hundred bucks and good riddance. If I can’t walk a hundred metres to a restaurant without excruciating foot pain, then I don’t feel empowered by any stretch of the imagination!

28 05 2010
martin

I agree miss dahl. It’s just a bit of fun. It’s kind of like the female version of Seinfeld to me. Out of all the women I’ve met a lot of them are basically like that and were so before SATC came on the scene. The feminazi, the shameless slut ( not saying slut judgementally ), the gold digger princess, and the more intriguing one who tries all different kinds of guys and philosophies but just ends up a gold digger anyway. No big deal.

I think calling her a horse face is a bit mean, something a bogan would do.

28 05 2010
SD

It’s so true Martin – most of us are a) feminazis b) golddiggers or c) sluts (but in a nice kind of way don’t you know).

That’s the biggest jumble of cliches in a single comment. Well done!

28 05 2010
martin

Didn’t say most. Said a lot. A lot could mean 36.235%. Which isn’t most.

28 05 2010
SD

An unsuccessful attempt at parsing I think….

28 05 2010
Shirley M

It’s simple. I don’t like it. I don’t like having to hear about it. I wasn’t aware it was bogan to not like something and say so.

28 05 2010
vivisection

It’s not angst, its not even the show, its the countless f#cking morons who are going to bang on about it like it somehow contains the answers to meaning to life that gets on my final nerve. I watched a lot of the show, and appreciated it as the occasionally funny, vacuous crap that it was. As SD noted, when it suddenly became the zeitgeist of the generation, the joke seemed to be over.

28 05 2010
pb

i was also invited to go and see satc 2 and have cosmopolitans beforehand, shirley. when i said i’d only seen a couple of episodes of the series i think they thought i was a little strange.
i can’t do stilettos. i just can’t walk in them – i have loose ankle joints so i stumble like a drunk if i ever wear them.

28 05 2010
Shirley M

Stilettos take much practice. There’s nothing worse than watching some poor woman teeter about on them, knees and ankles wobbling all over the shop. If you can’t pull it off, then don’t. Mind you, walking in them is one thing. How people dance about in them is completely beyond me.

28 05 2010
pb

being someone who’d happily go barefoot all the time if i could (unless i’m wearing one of my pairs of vintage shoes or my boots) i’m definitely one of those who can’t pull them off. my ankles hurt at even the thought of stilettos.

28 05 2010
Shirley M

I too am at my happiest barefoot. As I said, stilettos are great for appropriate occasions, if you can walk in them.

29 05 2010
vivisection

Who said that there was only one place to wear stilettos and that was in the bedroom? Was it Germaine? Or would she beat me with a bag of oranges for even suggesting it was her?

28 05 2010
SD

Can I clutch you to my bosom (metaphorically of course) Shirley – I have been similarly ostracised for my lack of enthusiasm for SATC.

IMO this review was the best
http://www.thestranger.com/seattl:e/burkas-and-birkins/Content?oid=4132715

28 05 2010
28 05 2010
vivisection

That is a superb piece of writing!! Thank you for sharing that SD!!

28 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

SD

That was maxxtreme. I wish I was eloquent but not to be. Why women like this show is beyond me. If I was a lady I would simply be insulted. Bit like thinking 2.5 is a great snapshot of male life.

28 05 2010
Shirley M

Is that REALLY what the movie is about?! FFS! Thanks SD, I enjoyed it thoroughly.

And yes, you may clutch me metaphorically to your metaphorical bosom. 🙂

28 05 2010
SD

My pleasure folks, I have been madly forwarding it all of today!

28 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I would give it to my wife to read but she would certainly glass me. A very intelligent lady but loves SJP. Horse jokes lead to the spare bedroom.

28 05 2010
SD

Simon I have forgiven SJP many a thing for playing SanDeE*!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L.A._Story

Sadly one can’t control the tastes of spouses. Mr SD and I for e.g. have very poor movie compatibility 😦

28 05 2010
brad

I too am a battered SATC man,my beloved is obsessed with this tripe,she is usually so grounded and no-nonsense.Alas i guess its like porn-harmless titilation as long as it doesnt get out of hand so too speak.When i’ve had too endure this smutful shite i usually fantasize about SJP being king hit by Mongo from Blazing Saddles!Gold post S.D.

28 05 2010
Shirley M

I’m sorry to hear that Simon. But I guess we all have our cross to bear.

28 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ SD

This is the first time I have read an article on SATC, and I have to say that I want to leave society…I don’t want to be apart of a society that thinks that these attitudes are something to aspire too. WTF?

Boganettes aspire to own towering Jimmy Choo’s and for what? So that their fat arse hangs a little further from the ground?

I am struggling to see the humor or why anyone would want to watch this shit.

I think I’m to up tight!! 😦

I must return to under my rock, where is safe from such things!

28 05 2010
SD

P!nky, you have my sympathies. On the other hand you are lucky to have escaped SATC so far!

28 05 2010
miss dahl

You need to approach it all with fearlessness, Pinky. Like, even here in our own patch, I noticed that the local Instyle magazine voted “our Nicole” as woman of the year, or some such. There was even an awards night for it, catered and everything. I noticed this as a skimmed the rags in the newsagency whilst waiting for the other half. At the back of the mag there was even a line along the lines of ” … and someone we think about all time …” (you’ll probably have to read it for yourselves, though) in reference to the other Kidman sister. This magazine is targetted (supposedly) to adult women, not teenagers either. I mean, if that is not bogan idolatry of celebrity, then what is?

28 05 2010
James Hunter

miss dahl,
! What ! you read Instyle ?
oh dear !

Simon’
More black helicopters !

Maybe after we have our TBL dictatorship mags such as this will be history.

Pandering to anorexics.. A pox on them.

29 05 2010
miss dahl

No James, I just skim in newsagents and/or hairdressers. I wouldn’t want to pay for any of those rags, because that would add me to their list of subscribers and supporters. I don’t follow fashion…

28 05 2010
James Hunter

simon,
send for the black helicopters

28 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

James, good thought, quick to the bogue phone.

28 05 2010
common man

@t-ra.most of my former alumni never evolved past the jock/cheerleader mentality even to this current day 15yrs on…..stupidty is rewarded over intelligence..and if you mention that, quickly cover for the vulgarity that follows,or a cup of concrete comment…#97 i have a linked several times

28 05 2010
common man

damn..blending truth with irony doesn’t work

28 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Valiant attempt though CM.

28 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

CM, I have had the pleasure of finding out that one girl I went to school with , who was the best at sport, the prettiest blah blah, is now a total looser who didn’t even survive the first year of an Arts degree. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(bad P!nky)

Sporto’s sometimes get a little back of what they give to us “nerds” I told her that one day it will all come back to her! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

28 05 2010
T-ra

CM you are right…stupidity (usually by good looking people who are good at sport) is more often than not rewarded over intelligence. I don’t know why I still let it get to me or get upset about it! The fact that someone like Jason Akermanis gets a newspaper column is testament to that fact (not that he is good looking…old crater face that he is!)

And Pinky…I too have a number of former high school and uni alum. who ended up not doing much with their lives. The ‘pretty one’ from our grade at high school has a delightful and challenging career working at behind the desk at HMV! She was going to be a model don’t you know…and therefore didn’t need to study or go to university! I think it is the epitome of sad if the ‘best’ years of your life were high school!

28 05 2010
vivisection

John Waters summed it up when he described this phenomena as “People who peaked in high school”. A truly sad state of affairs for these high school heroes.

28 05 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
So true, when I look back at the dropout and suicides amongst people who were concidered brilliant at high school. They had fully extended themselves and had nothing left when uni and work tok over. Also they were not used to failure and had no experiance of how to handle it.
Truly very sad and in a lot of the cases it was parents driving too hard and/or pushing in the wrong direction.

28 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Peaking in high school…100% Bogan T-ra.

BAHAHAHAHAHA

I was lucky enough to have friends at school who supported my shit giving to such people. Unfortunately a lot of other kids were picked on relentlessly. These people…BAHH

I’m full of venom for the bogan today 😉

29 05 2010
Will S

The people for whom the Year 12 formally is literally as good as it gets!

29 05 2010
vivisection

until they organise the reunion!

31 05 2010
T-ra

Oh goodness, you are so right about that Viv. Without giving away my age, a major milestone reunion is being planned for my Year 12 class in late in 2011. I am already recieving Facebook messages from people I have not heard from in years enquiring as to whether I am going to go. The ‘ringleaders’ are so excited about it, and quite frankly, I could not care less! I have kept in touch with everyone I wanted to keep in touch with. I do not see the point in going back just to see who has gotten fat!

29 05 2010
Will S

So Australia is taking legal action against Japanese whaling… As an environmentalist I like this, but as a TBL commenter I wonder if it’s just to create an ‘enemy’ in an election year!

30 05 2010
Beccie

A large red herring?

30 05 2010
James Hunter

a whale would be a very large red herring ?

31 05 2010
Beccie

Those scientific probes the Japanese are using do seem to create a lot of red blood loss in the whale.

31 05 2010
Tombarina

It’s the whales’ fault.

They’re sooky bleeders who just roll over and haemorrhage to death at the merest hint of a scientific harpoon through the brain.

31 05 2010
pb

clearly they need to harden up and drink a cement milkshake.

31 05 2010
pb

it is an election year stunt, but take the good elements of it with the cynical reasons for it.

29 05 2010
Matthew

Did you just call Kev’s strategy “bogan friendly, hipster friendly”? There’s nothing hipster friendly about it, most of the hipsters I know are well educated individuals. You might know bogans, but you’ve totally missed the mark with your inference that hipsters are just the same.

30 05 2010
common man

@matthew..its called vote winners for dummies 101..because we all know that the whaling will not end until their exstinct..nice try ,but kev has had several years to adress this disgusting problem.. i agree with will s,the timing of it sux,maybe if we had an election every year things might get done

30 05 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
Maybe you can help me.
there seem from time to time to be a goodly number of complaints about Fiona’s frequent use of the LOL sobriquet, which i understand to mean laughs out loud which is a not too slanderous thing to say.
Latterly though i have noticed Muz’s continued use of FOF. Now is this intended as an acronym for a physicaly difficult,or exciting ( depending on ones predelictions), act or is it mearly as I suspect an attempt to emulate a noise that he often and inadvertantly makes ?

30 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

30 05 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
Mwah

31 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

**blush**

31 05 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
sweet thaung ah lurve everythnng you do

31 05 2010
vivisection

James Hunter, you don’t need my help!

23 09 2010
harvey

acrylic nails

sizzler

tiffany jewellery

spoilers

screaming at their kids

the brand Guess

Fantastic Furniture

vinyl

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