#67 – Southern Cross Tattoos

19 01 2010

As previously discussed on TBL, tattoos regularly adorn the Bogan’s body, advertising such things as warlike toughness, confected spirituality, femininity and cultural sensitivity. In the tradition of co-opting symbols it doesn’t fully understand, the Bogan tatt du jour is the Southern Cross Tattoo. A beautiful and evocative design derived from the celestial formation of the same name, the Southern Cross appears on the Australian flag, and also the flags of New Zealand, Brazil, Papua New Guinea and Samoa.

The Bogan, considering itself patriotic, is actually a nationalist, and being unaware of the distinction between these two things, believes Australia has a monopoly over a constellation that is visible from about fifty other countries the Bogan has never heard of. Subsequently, the Southern Cross Tattoo, or the “Aussie Swazie”, as it’s known in some circles, has become for the Bogan a symbol of ‘Aussie Pride’, a secret Bogan codeword for immense racial intolerance.

The Southern Cross Tattoo comes in a number of forms, from the popular and simple five star design, to those incorporating the outline of the Australian continent or a boxing kangaroo, and is sometimes adorned with such ‘patriotic’ slogans as ‘fuck off, we’re full’, ‘we grew here, you flew here’, and ‘if you don’t love it, leave’.

These slogans first came to the attention of the wider public during the 2005 Cronulla riots, started when local Bogans became incensed that groups of Lebanese people were behaving like Bogans on ‘their’ beach. The Aussie Bogans attempted to send the Lebanese packing, but failed to make Cronulla 1/100th as scary for Lebanese people as Beirut.  Southern Cross Tattoos have been proliferating in Australia ever since, TBL’s tattooist sources claim to be churning out about fifteen Aussies Swazies a week, a startling pace which shows no sign of slowing.

So, as the sun sets on another day of being a proud Aussie, the Bogan looks towards the skies only to be baffled by the strange appearance of a constellation that looks a possum sitting in a tree. It quickly ignores this astronomical anomaly, briefly glances at its tattoo and continues to scan the landscape for any stray Lebanese.


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311 responses

19 01 2010
Harold Holt's Floaties

Australian pacebowler Peter Siddle has recently had a subtle southern cross inked into his skin:

19 01 2010
Simon

Another one bites the dust.

19 01 2010
Lexi

He’s taken up the mantle of Australian Cricket Team Resident Bogan (yes, proper noun for proper title). Of course, as we all know, that post has been vacant, or only temporarily occupied, since the retirement of one Shane Warne, sporting bogan extraordinaire.

19 01 2010
Indi

I think you might need to invert the category. Who is the Australian Cricket Team’s Resident Non-Bogan?

19 01 2010
Jasper

Very good point Indi

19 01 2010
Simon

I would have said Michael Clarke is head bogan and Michael Hussey non bogan.

19 01 2010
AJ

katich, ponting,- old school bogan

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Clarke is definitely bogue-nouveau, as is Phillip Hughes.
Shane Watson is bogan, simply because his parents called him Shane.

19 01 2010
Indi

Because Hussey writes cook books, or something?

19 01 2010
Simon

Seems intelligent and articulate and no tatts.

19 01 2010
Gav

Clarke and Watson definitely are battling for alpha nouveau bogan..

It’s hard to identify a non-bogan amongst the crowd, most if not all would fall into the traditional bogan category, with the exceptions being the new breed of misguided fashion / body conscious bogans like Clarke.

19 01 2010
brad

“and he’s a Victorian” (Morwell)

19 01 2010
Pistola

Peter Siddle was born in Morwell. The poor lad has bogan bred into him through and through.

19 01 2010
hel

That is not real is it? It looks like my 8 year old did it with a magic marker! Subtle? It would be more subtle and more australian if I got drunk on VB and threw up on his back

19 01 2010
Indi

With a hint of the Closing Down Sale.

27 01 2010
Bastard Sheep

“It looks like my 8 year old did it with a magic marker!” That’s what all tattoo’s look like, isn’t it?

15 09 2010
Dean Rayfield

Good on him its stupid i dont have that tatto but how does having that tattoo mean your racist and youse are the bogans for creating this website its so stupid the tatto is a symbol of who you are if they like it let em have it dont complain

20 11 2012
S

I don’t think using the non-word “youse” is going to do you much good on this site. Ultimately it’s up to a person if they get a tattoo or not but so many people get the SC tattoo for the wrong reason and they think it makes them cool even though it’s unoriginal and kind of an uninteresting design.

21 11 2013
Mal

Dean Rayfield if your goal was to make me laugh so hard I can now not get to sleep, well, you did it.

19 01 2010
Bec

I think that the Austika is the perfect equivalent of a ‘do-not-fuck’ medical bracelet. How many stds could be avoided if women went all Lysistrata on anyone with these tatts?

19 01 2010
Michelle

Do unwanted children count as STDs?

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Firsties!

19 01 2010
Deboganator

Fail.

19 01 2010
Tone

FiOWNED! 😛

19 01 2010
Loftie

missed it sweety….

maybe that broadband ain’t so quick in Toorak???

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. My manicurist took too long this morning. I shall have her shot forthwith.

19 01 2010
Loftie

I didn’t realise there was a sister-site to this find BLOG…

http://stuffrichpeoplelove.com/

Fiona – have you frequented this abode?

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. OMG. all those things are SO true. Thank you! ❤

19 01 2010
Loftie

anything for you Fiona
*wink*

6 08 2014
jd

Seriously, Fiona. I’m so disappointed. That page is so….aspirational. There’s also a lot of mistruths on that list

19 01 2010
Paddington

Perhaps your manicurist was late arriving from her farrier course. 🙂

19 01 2010
Linda

The Southern Cross tattoo is very un-original.

19 01 2010
Emma

Scathing! I love it.

19 01 2010
Jaiydein

“Australian pacebowler Peter Siddle has recently had a subtle southern cross inked into his skin:

http://resources3.news.com.au/images/2009/03/14/1111119/133791-peter-siddle.jpg

hmmmmm…Australian cricket team = Orstrayaz Bogan Royalty

Siddle hails from Victoria’s Latrobe Valley, one of Australia’s leading bogan hotbeds. TBL

19 01 2010
Lis

What’s with the guy’s expression?

19 01 2010
Simon

Smug uncomprehension?

19 01 2010
berihebi

Perhaps he’s annoyed that the tattoo artist has drawn Epsilon Crusis slightly too close to Delta Crucis

19 01 2010
John Vardanega

Or maybe the other guy is just a cunt.

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Apparently the bogan has a broken beer glass in his hand that is out of shot.

“Do it fucken right cunt, or you fucken cop this – cunt (thrown in gratuitously just for good measure)”

19 01 2010
Harold Holt's Floaties

lol berihebi

19 01 2010
Benjamin

Looks like he’s about to have a little cry.

Out of pride or pain, I’m not sure.

19 01 2010
Indi

Tattooist just told him he needs to do some work on his guns. Or farted, who knows?

19 01 2010
Lauren

I was waiting for this to prop up! Hopefully my brother will finally accept that he is a bogan.

19 01 2010
shazza

“..but failed to make Cronulla 1/100th as scary for Lebanese people as Beirut.” Props TBL.

My futile wish is that tattooists start refusing to do them.

22 01 2010
dizzy

a good friend of mine who is a tattooist refuses and blatantly laughs when he is asked….!

this is GOLD TBL, thanks!

“AUSTIKA” hahahahahahahahaha!

22 01 2010
shazza

Tell your friend I am deeply touched by his commitment to the art form.

19 01 2010
berihebi

The challenge for many a 30 something bogan is how do you turn your nineties barbed wire tatt into a southern cross: http://www.houseofrave.com/media/tattoo/barbed-wire-tattoo.jpg

19 01 2010
Indi

Nah, just have a cow inked in behind it.

19 01 2010
James

Or perhaps a refugee?

19 01 2010
Paul Bogan

How about the Eureka Symbol? That has a Southern Cross on it, but
it represents an independent Australian identity away from the fucking
British colonialism. bogans don’t want to establish an individual identity,
to fucking gay and difficult!

19 01 2010
Kylie

That’d require too much thought, too much historical research/knowledge and would, as you say, be far too different from all the other boges

4 02 2010
Matt

That isn’t what it represents at all you clown. We stayed very loyal to them right up to the point they couldn’t protect us anymore. So now we sleep with the yanks.

20 11 2012
S

Whilst I dislike the use of “gay” to mean “stupid”…Anyway, some xenophobic “white pride” Australians have tried to hyjack the Eureka flag. They can’t seem to comprehend that people of 20 different nationalities were involved and they talked about inclusiveness. They just think because it was an uprising against authority that it makes it their own symbol, and after all, both ultra-leftists and ultra-rightists and people in between don’t like the “police state” however they may define it.

19 01 2010
Josh

I’m amazed you’ve gone so long without doing one on this. There are very large facebook groups devoted to their hatred of this tattoo. And inevitably some people join the group to defend their very poor ink choice. Always ends in hilarity.

19 01 2010
Loftie

“….has become for the Bogan a symbol of ‘Aussie Pride’, a secret Bogan codeword for immense racial intolerance.” -TBL

I love it…. which is so fitting considering that in exactly one week from today…. Aussie Pride will be flowing like a spilled can of Jim Bean….

We’re drafting our 26th of January entry already, don’t you worry. TBL

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. TBL – another potential entry for you. Calling “Jim Beam”, “Jim Bean”. The mistake is all too common around these parts. It HAS to be a bogan trait.

https://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/26-malapropisms/ – TBL

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

yeah a bit bogan, much along the lines of proclaiming Firsties when you aren’t.

19 01 2010
Loftie

It certainly is a trait of the bogue…

Another that I have heard around the gutters of the western suburbs is “Get me a Yugoslavian!!!” – though not as common as the Bean/Beam…

Believe it or not, this is a reference to a Case of Beer (preferably VB)…
Anyone wanna get as to why?

19 01 2010
Indi

A Sla(b)v?

19 01 2010
Loftie

Close

A Slab-o-vic….
Sounds like a yugoslavian style name…. and a good way to disguise the alcoholism…

19 01 2010
ThePineapple

You are kidding me..right? That’s just idiotic on all fronts. Bogans think they have wit – which pisses me off even more.

19 01 2010
Loftie

No – sadly not kidding…

I’ve actually heard a bogue ask for this at our local drive thru bottle-o, and berate the poor guy serving when he didn’t understand his request…

Bogans do have plenty of wit…
F#ckwit, Dimwit, Nit Wit…. I could go on and on! 🙂

19 01 2010
brad

what do you call a yugoslavian tramp?
Slobodownmykokyabic

19 01 2010
Beck

Egads! How edifying.

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Whats is that growing out of the bogans head? They look like antennae.

Could it be this particular bogan is an extra terrestrial attempting to inflitrate the bogan hordes?

By doing this he can disguise the fact that this Martain actually did “fly here”?

19 01 2010
Tubesteak

Bland of the Southern Cross

The Land Done Under

Advance Australia Farce

19 01 2010
Peter of Kensington

Nationalist….Aussie Swazie….TBL’s sources…..leading bogan hotbeds….

(ACA + TT) x SWPL = TBL

19 01 2010
Anthony

How do you nominate a `thing’ for the list? I have one that has not been covered yet but which I believe is entirely appropriate.

thingsboganslike@gmail.com – TBL

19 01 2010
ThePineapple

Can we have one on the media and the role it plays in conforming to bogan wants? Like when the HS or ACA bring out a piece which ruffles the feathers of bogans and whips up unwanted and unneeded jingoism.

I think it’s the media which has allowed the bogan flourish, as it plays right into the mindset of the bogan. Then again that is their business plan all along, comprising and selling out australian culture, all for $1.40 everyday.

19 01 2010
Indi

‘Invitation to Outrage’ is probably worth a post by TBL. It’s the predominant MO of the mainstream media

19 01 2010
ThePineapple

compromising

dam need an edit function!

19 01 2010
Lia

My tattooist has some good stories about the Aussie Pride related to these tattoos. One guy unknowingly got a Kiwi southern cross to represent his Aussie Pride.
While another one if i remember correctly got a very stars and stripes looking sailor girl, with i can’t exactly remember, but something along the lines of Aussie Pride written on it.
This was in Morwell, Victoria, so I think this just proves that yes, the Latrobe Valley is one of the leading bogan hotbeds.

19 01 2010
Simon

Can you post a picture of your tramp stamp?

19 01 2010
Lia

i would if i had one.

19 01 2010
shazza

Lia, just a warning. Simon is anti tattoos, on anyone of any design. He’s from the country.

19 01 2010
Simon

Shazza,

I’m trying to gain an appreciaion, out in the country here in Adelaide we don’t see much culture. Worth a shot anyway Lia.

Must say though, my stance remains anti tatt Shazza.

19 01 2010
shazza

Fair enough Simon. I have my days when I feel the same.

19 01 2010
Simon

What, like you live in Adelaide?

19 01 2010
shazza

Hee hee.

19 01 2010
Paddington

Aren’t country folk into branding, instead?

19 01 2010
Indi

And the septum ring.

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

TBL is making another subtle point with this post regarding the stupidity of the bogan mindset, rather than the tattoo itself. In this case it is the bogans inability to distinguish between patriotism and nationalism.

There is nothing wrong with the symbol of the Southern Cross per se, it’s been recognised as an iconic symbol of Australia similar to that of the flying kangaroo for many years. It’s just unfortunate that it now has negative connotations after being hijacked by the Nazi-bogan (new sub-species?) as a symbol for its nationalistic (or was that patriotic?) views.

Tattoos in general appeal to the bogan as they allow them to express their individualism and to rebel against conservative elements of society. The bogans need for the attention, with the ‘look at me’ factor of tattoos, is also sated. The Southern Cross tattoo combines two elements of the limited thinking of the bogan, making it the perfect medium to display one’s love of (his ideal of) Australia and the need for attention.

Also, let’s not forget that there is nothing more individual as a Southern Cross tattoo.

19 01 2010
Lis

I would agree with the Nazi-bogan as a sub-species. I know people who tick just about every other bogan box, but would never go near that one.

“Tattoos in general appeal to the bogan as they allow them to express their individualism and to rebel against conservative elements of society.” – what the bogan fails to understand is that tattoos are so so common place now they are essentially boring and not at all rebellious or shocking.

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Absolutely! Forget about actually being rebellious or an individual, as long as the bogan thinks or feels it and can brag to his mates about it, he is happy!

19 01 2010
Lis

“I’m an induhvidual, along with all me mates”

19 01 2010
Kylie

If I may quote the Simpsons: How rebellious, in a conformist sort of way.

19 01 2010
Harold Holt's Floaties

as so beautifully put by the Monty Python boys:

‘Yes – We’re all individuals! Yes – We’re all different! ‘

‘I’m not’

20 01 2010
Simon of Arimathea (via South Yarra)

Thanks for digging this out – it highlights the herd mentality of bogan delightfully

19 01 2010
brad

I have met many young folk who fall into this ozsticka mentality through work and also younger family members of freinds and their is more too it than just blind sheep dynamics.A lot of these kids are scared of other ethnic groups out there who see anglo kids as easy prey, so they band together and mimic the extremist nationalist/racist attitudes the afore-mentioned ethnic groups brandish,we live in a wonderful nation(s) people

19 01 2010
bec

Where are these ‘scary ethnics’? I used to live in a suburb with a huge immigrant population from stacks of different countries and I never felt afraid of any of them. I sure felt scared of the creepy white bogans in their jacked-up cars who screamed at me as they passed by when out for a walk or jog, though.

26 01 2010
S-Man

Ever lived in Bankstown or Auburn Bec? I have, they are not nice places.

26 01 2010
Annette

The gentle intolerance of their racist parents is amplified in the children, around about their teens… if only we could harness that bogan energy for niceness, instead of evil.

19 01 2010
ThePineapple

Kingy: “grouse, i wanna get a tat cause i wanna be different like everyone else”
Picko: “grouse mate get a southern cross mate”

19 01 2010
Harold Holt's Floaties

check out this wonderful specimen – not only are the stars completely out of proportion, they are topped off with a bleached rat’s tail.

19 01 2010
Indi

And those stars are clearly only going to get odder in outline with time.

19 01 2010
Toddo

Maybe its because I live in Perth, but I didn’t realise that the southern cross icon was synonymous with ‘race-hate’?
There is no place in Perth for race hate, and there is no point.
Even the diehard worker who was scared of losing his job to someone that worked twice as hard for less $$ seems to get over it once they realise that Fili’s are good blokes, and that someone has to do all the grubby jobs like plastering.

Apologies, but I will be flying the flag on Aus Day, not as a racist, but as someone who believes in a democratic system. (though I do think the government should act like dictators when it comes to the television media, and ban any production or advert that treats the viewer like an idiot)

19 01 2010
Simon

Yes, can they ban Two and a Half Men please.

19 01 2010
Tubesteak

No. I love that show.

It had Megan Fox playing the role of a 16 year old.

19 01 2010
Crispin Huntington

Here is a blog article they may explain the success of such a terrible show. Much like stockholm syndrome (where kidnap victims feel loyal to their abductors), SHITCOM SYNDROME happens when a bad sitcom is thrust upon the viewing public so much it ends up being very popular, battering them into submission until it is named ‘The Nation’s No. 1 comedy show’

http://thingsaustralianslove.com/index.php/things-australians-love/10-bad-imported-tv-invariably-north-american/

19 01 2010
Simon

Aussies love comedys with fat kids.

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Yes, we can relate to fat people, being one of the most obese nations in the world.

19 01 2010
Lis

Shitcom Syndrome makes perfect sense! I’ve been trying for a very long to work out what the hell the fascination is with Two and a Half Men. I’ve even attempted watching it in an effort to find out. I say attempted, because each time the venture was aborted very quickly.

Thank you, Crispin, you’ve just managed to explain one of the pointless mysteries of my life.

19 01 2010
brad

Malcolm In The Middle’s Mum is badddd

19 01 2010
Lis

Oh, it is rife in Sydney, certainly worse in some areas than others. I shudder more when I see Southern Cross decals on cars than I do when seeing frangipani ones.

I think the issue is having enough self and social awareness to get to know the person working next to you enough to realise he is a good bloke, no matter where he was born. Seeing the man, rather than the skin, as it were.

19 01 2010
hindustan

what about southern cross tattoos with the postcode of the bogan underneath? clarssy…

19 01 2010
Indi

Wish I could agree with you about Perth and racism, but it has a bad record in these matters. Lots of neo-Nazi groups and arson attacks on Chinese restaurants.

19 01 2010
Honest Matt

Do these attacks still happen or is it a throw back comment to the 80’s?
I remember National Action claiming responsibility for these at about that time.
Not all arson attacks are race related, ever heard of insurance jobs? Surely a bogan trait – “The insuro job”.

19 01 2010
shazza

Jack Van Tongeran still has a few followers, but mostly they are considered silly and irrelevant. Probably a response of bogans being most upset by the firebombing of their favourite local Chinese. There are still La Rouche type loonies lurking around the place.

20 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Perth is where all the pro-apartheid south africans scampered to when democracy finally came to South Africa

20 01 2010
Indi

The other ‘Boat People’, or the Whenwe Tribe – every sentence starts with “When we were in Sarth Effrica . . .”

20 01 2010
shazza

Yes it is referred to as The Chicken Run.

19 01 2010
Freud's beard

I’m not quite sure if you are being ironic or not. Fili’s (I assume you mean people from the Phillapines) are good blokes because they get less money and do shit jobs that no one else wants to do??? And if you think that there isn’t racism in Perth you need to open your eyes more, I’ve seen more than my fair share of southern cross bogans, but I live near Cockburn so that could explain a lot.

19 01 2010
Toddo

Freud’s Beard, before you get all leftist social worker Bogan on me, and jump valiantly to the defense of an opressed minority, I was simply calling it as I see it.
I used the term ‘Fili’ because that is what they themselves use. I struggle to see anything derogatory about the term.

P.S. Also Ban New Idea, Take 5, Womens weekly, surfing life, and Ralph magazine

19 01 2010
freud's beard

brilliant, next you’ll be calling me a ‘do-gooder’
I’m not rascist but….

19 01 2010
Toddo

Nah, ‘Do gooder’ is too over-used. Hang loose.

19 01 2010
freud's beard

😛

19 01 2010
bec

You left out “black armband-wearing” and “ivory tower” in that description of the leftist social worker. D+ – you tried, and I can tell, but I can’t reward that kind of sloppiness with regards to sensationalised hatemongering of anyone who had more than a day of post-compulsory education.

19 01 2010
Honest Matt

How is it racist to fly the Australian flag?

19 01 2010
Indi

The act isn’t racist. Sadly many people who do so are, and by association the act has been seen likewise. Time to claim back some symbols and activities.

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Indi, I couldn’t agree more. Last Australia Day I got sneered at and accused of being a racist because I was wearing a T-shirt with the Australian flag on it. I was absolutely shocked! I denied it of course, but my accuser didn’t want to know.

19 01 2010
Indi

We live in what is as close to the peacable kingdom as it gets, that’s why people emigrate here. Why not celebrate the flag as a symbol of a successful migrant nation?

19 01 2010
brad

you must be joking-where do you live indi?,Wallgett

20 01 2010
Indi

Albury Wodonga- which is a pretty good example, like Shepparton, of how it can happen. Don’t believe everything tyou read in the newspapers.

19 01 2010
Lauren

Where the hell do you live in Perth? Perth is ten times more racist than Sydney (and I grew up in bogan centeral south west Sydney) People have no issues bashing Indigenious Australians (and I’ve heard the ‘n’ word used many times since I moved here)

I’m in complete shock that someone could live in Perth and claim it’s non-racist.

19 01 2010
Toddo

Lauren, you must be a social worker as well, step into reality sister!
When was the last time you saw a Caucasian Australian being bashed by an Indigenious Australian? (all these PC terms give me ulcers)
I treat all other human beings as equal to myself, however, The Indigenious population of Perth aren’t without controversy.
Most people I know, if the have the guts to be honest, have no hangups with the above mentioned group, but have experienced physical or verbal attacks on trains, parks, shopping centres and like myself, home invasion. All of this unwarranted, and simply because we are ‘white’.
If these people I know, still have forgiveness, and a desire to accept, (and I believe most do) you can hardly brand them racist.
Forgive me for getting off topic.

19 01 2010
shazza

You’re being a bit social workist there Toddo. Just remember social workers are the same people who remove children from the homes of bogans when they become too feral to care for them.

19 01 2010
Lauren

So in other words ‘I’m not racist but….’

19 01 2010
bec

Bullshit. I call bullshit. I have never, ever witnessed non-white on white racism. I have, however, witnessed white bogans acting like cocks and provoking trouble and then pulling the ‘racist’ card whenever they’re told to piss off and stop wasting people’s time.

19 01 2010
Paddington

Bec, you know I adore you. Don’t make me pull you back from the edge of that chasm, again. BTW, I think it’s fantastic you have never personally experienced it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. People are, after all, merely people. 😉

20 01 2010
Bec

Shh. I enjoy teetering on that edge. Besides, my basis for a literal reading was that there weren’t enough Bolt-isms in the descriptor of ‘social worker’. No ‘chattering classes’? No ‘latte socialists’? Weak as satire.

(Although I wish I could find that study about rates of reporting discrimination and white people. Essentially, white people statistically report more instances of racism against them than non-white people do. I would wager my current financial worth of $37 and an unread InStyle magazine that these are just bullshit claims by bogans who want to diminish real racism by likening it to,say, being called ‘whitey’. If that is the extent of your oppression, you don’t deserve sympathy: you deserve more oppression.)

20 01 2010
Toddo

Bec, I just noticed your comment.
I squeeze the odd comment out in between getting real work done, so I apologise for not wording things thoroughly. I have never read Andrew Bolts collumn, so forgive me for not using more ‘Boltisms’ tacked on to ‘social worker’.
Pull your beret up a bit higher, or take your motorbike helmet (vespa) off so you can see properly.
Take a ride on the good old Armadale line twice daily out of peak time, for one week, and I guarantee you will see what I mean.
For some reason writing off a Bogan for causing some sort of threat is acceptible, even though he may be third or fourth generation blue collar Bogan, and may not know any different.
However, critisising a member of the indigenous population, (I never generalise a people group, only the individual based on behaviour) is off limits, because of trendy PC reasons. This mentality makes you as much a sheep as any Bogan.

20 01 2010
hel

I worked for a Govt Department and well, lets say the bulk of our clients were Bogans and Indigenous Australians (Indigenous made up 48% of all applicants, about 30% bogans, though of course that was not a statistically measured piece of data, allow my generalisation) Often the verbal abuse we encountered came predominantly from these groups and we had training in how to deal with Indigenous Groups so we were culturally aware, given insight into how many of the grew up and their histories so that we had a greater understanding of why they reacted as they did in certain situation, and this training was undertaken by respected members of the local indigenous community. I am going off topic here, but as pointed out above, yes, many of these indigenous applicants came from families that were third or fourth generation welfare, as many of the bogans came from same. However we did not get bogan sensitivity training…………. Can you imagine? Shazza and Dazza come round in their Torana and tell Govt workers how best to deal with the intricate nuances of the oft maligned bogan cultural group.

20 01 2010
shazza

I’d be happy to hel. I worked in the prison system long enough to learn the ropes. Certainly helps if you carry a packet of cigarettes with you for emergencies.

20 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Winnie Blues for you no doubt Shazza? I think you’d be an excellent candidate to explain the bogan subculture too. Your commentary here shows you to be a bogan par excellence.

20 01 2010
shazza

I don’t smoke Fiona.

20 01 2010
Bec

Beret is lol. You have at least upped your game.

I find in general that being courteous to everyone (or at least to their face) has worked well for me. The number of cashed up privileged white bogans who whinge about every perceived slight being racism is really just annoying and pathetic.

I have never once been abused with racist tones by a non-white person, nor have I seen it happen. I lived in suburbs decried as ghettoes by whiny liberal politicians and have felt perfectly safe with the Indigenous, Islander and Sudanese people who lived there. I’ve seen Sudanese businesses egged and vandalized with racist slurs, though. My life experience is admittedly limited, but as a white person I feel no risk or mistreatment from other groups.

19 01 2010
Sam

Bec has never witnessed it, therefore bullshit. Your comment is an embarrassment to yourself.

I use to play football against some Homeswest (govt housing) suburbs in my younger days. Witnessed it for 4 quarters every single game and threats after every game.

19 01 2010
brad

Iv experienced the flip side too Lauren-not pretty

19 01 2010
Linda

Fiona – do you sit on the internet ALL DAY? lol

19 01 2010
Robbie

well it’s not like she’s working or anything, that would be ‘below’ her 😛

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Southern Cross emblems have been usurped by various groups for years.

Right wing extremist groups had stickers of the Southern Cross with “Asians Out” stuck all over the place in the mid to late 70’s (mainly in universities and suburbs like Springvale in Melbourne and Bankstown in Sydney).

There were Southern Cross (Eureka) Flags at ODI’s in the 80’s and early 90’s (precursor to flag draped boges of today).

Left wing Unions have used the Eureka Flag as a symbol and rallying point for years, You can still see them flying from cranes on building sites.

Just remember “patriotism is the last vestige of a scoundrel” ( as Dr Johnson would say.

Could well be updated to “patriotism is the first vestige of a bogan”

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

The Eureka flag has also now been adopted by Melbourne Victory A-League fans. Although it has always been as symbol of unity by whatever group has been flying it, Victory fans have thrown off all past negative connotations of the symbol and started a new positive one; uniting a bunch of Aussies of different ethnic backgrounds to support a team playing the world game!

It would be nice if the rest of Australia could take back the Southern Cross from the Nazi-bogues in the near future as well.

19 01 2010
hel

Oh god I just realised, I went to a festival last year with some vague friends (long story) two were draped in Australian Flags and the other wore Australian Flag boardies and a sombrero he got in a corona promotion. Oh god I was so interwoven in boganity I didn’t even realise.

19 01 2010
brad

I lived in Noble Park for 10 years as a kid in the 70’s and 80’s and believe me W.MAntbo try hard skinheads didnt travel down towards Dandy to put stickers up they stuck too more calmer waters like Camberwell and Box Hill to spread their message( closer too home)

19 01 2010
Kimba

I’ve noticed an alarming rise in the bogan procurement of nautical star tatoos:

Can anyone shed any light on this new phenomenon?

19 01 2010
Azza

The Fem Bogue is now inking herself with rosary beads. Like the Southern Cross, the Fem Bogue has no idea what it truly means! My cousin recently got inked with one, and I didn’t realise how completely STUPID this was until I searched Google and the second picture to arrive after searching ‘Rosary Bead Tattoo’ is hers! Apart from the fact this is now completely unoriginal, she is not a practicing catholic and has never done the rosary! And to make things work, I found out my other cousin now has inked, rosary beads somehow mixed in with the southern cross all up her side! I am in disbelief how bogan my family is!

People may aswell get ‘Dumb Arse’ tatood on their forhead. Perhaps TBL should keep a bit quiet on this one. How are smart people able to identify the Bogan and stop having unwanted children with them if they are no longer getting stars, made in Australia, southern crosses, rosary beads, barcodes, tribal markings and tramp stamps tattoos.

19 01 2010
Azza

and also, to make things worse, my cousin had a bitch fit when she found out the other cousin got the Rosary! haha.

19 01 2010
AB

Azza, your cousins, as charming as they sound, are partaking in the old bogan trend of ‘copying a well-known celebrity’. In this case, it is Nicole Richie, who has rosary beads tattooed on her foot.

Same trend occurred with Sarah Murdoch’s tattoo (the wave type marks on her upper arm), and Sienna Miller’s star tatts (can’t remember where these are). Celebrities have a lot to answer for…….

19 01 2010
chris

I bet with some assurance that the bogans with the Southern Cross tat couldn’t point out the actual constellation in the night sky.

I really don’t understand it as a patriotic symbol. I don’t get tingles in my bosom every time I see the Southern Cross… it’s just a bunch of stars.

19 01 2010
pulang

after living overseas in the northern hemisphere for some time, i saw the southern cross again in the night sky for the first time in years last june while in indonesia. (not long after i returned to australia to witness the surge in all things bogue! what a shock!) anyway, i always think back to that sight when i see bogans with that tattoo, as it strikes home how stupid these nationalist pricks are– it’s nothing special, and it’s also seen in the skies of the type of country they must hate (except for bali, of course. which IS a separate country, don’t you know?), being muslim, asian and having spicy food.

26 01 2010
Andrew

The hijacking of Crux sends shudders down my spine. The constellation holds reals significance for me personally. My grandfather served in WW1 – mainly to get away from his overbearing father – and was fortunate to survive three years on the Western Front including such horrific battles as Pozieres and Villers Brittenoux. On the boat home, he and his mates were all on the top deck as they rounded South Africa to get a glimpse of the Southern Cross. It was the first time they had seen it in years and meant they were going home. As a boy, every time we left my grandfather’s home at night, he would put his huge hand on my shoulder and ask me to find it for him in the night sky and tell me the story again of coming home. I think of him every time I see it in the night sky and it still sends shivers down my spine.

26 01 2010
S-Man

I’m sure seeing it plastered on some bogan’s pimply, sweaty back doesn’t quite conjure the same emotions Andrew.

19 01 2010
hel

I am ashamed to say I delved into the world of the bogan by dating a hard core one for 18 months, His nickname was Boags, say no more. He had two friends, also hard core bogans, one had a Southern Cross tattoo on his back with the Australian flag and our fair country as well as an “Australian Made” banner, which came across as overkill but he felt the need to make his point. This is a man who thought dressing as Hitler and abusing a jewish girl on Halloween was a laugh. The other guy had a Southern Cross on his arm but this is what i do not understand, standing strong in a fighting pose with boxing gloves on, in the middle of this S.C was a British Bulldog. Why? It made no sense at all. I should note too, none of them had ever left Australia until 19 when they did the trip to Bali and their dumb bitches got braids (I did not) and yelled loudly at the locals to make them understand, because that works. In Bali two of them made a pact to get “Your name” tattooed on their backsides, clearly to appear witting and interesting and appealing to prospective female bogans. Again, ashamed to say, my now ex boyfriend was one of the two in this pact. On the day his friend and he went, thankfully I tagged along, and friend 1 goes “I want Your Name tattooed on my arse” and my boyfriend goes “Yeah mate me too but I don’t wanna have the same tattoo as him so write it UR name”. My disgust was palpable that not only was he willing to have such a lame tattoo but that he was willing to have such a literary, grammatical abortion etched forever on his skin. Well I used my womanly charms, honed dating a bogan, I drew on my observations of their manipulative, vacuous, supre adorned slags, told them I could organise it cheaper at a place I knew (because of course I was learned in the pricing of Balinese tattoo shops? They believed me anyway!) Dragged them out and proceeded to get them drunk and they forgot about it. That was a day when I found myself in the street of Kuta, craving a horde not wrapped in fake DG sunnies, Aussie flag board shorts and thongs, ready to cry “Oh the boganity”. Needles to say, we didn’t last long after that one.

19 01 2010
meatray

A beautiful story darling. I can only ask why you dated him for 18months?

19 01 2010
hel

I really do not know, but in my defense, he was incredibly hot with an amazing body and god had blessed him in other ways as well, which makes me utterly bogan, I know. I was conducting an experiment to see if I could maintain a relationship based on superficial attributes???

19 01 2010
Lana

“I really do not know, but in my defense, he was incredibly hot with an amazing body and god had blessed him in other ways as well, which makes me utterly bogan, I know”

I feel your pain..
I dated a guy.. southern cross tatted northern beaches nouveau bog.. and really hot but oh not reliable.. Left me in tears after a couple of months, but worth the experience because never dating his type again 🙂

19 01 2010
hel

I knew it was the beginning of the end when I asked him what he thought about the American election and he said, and this is honest truth “Dunno but I hope that black cunt wins”. Well, at least he wasn’t outwardly racist! Or at least he balanced it out by being pro Obama? This group has made me relive my shame! haha

19 01 2010
shazza

That’s very funny hel. Was he able to articulate why he had a preference for Obama?

19 01 2010
hel

all I can put it down to is that there was so much anti George W Bush sentiment, being a bogan and not wanting to depart from pack mentality and risk being on the outer, he was able to put aside his genetically inherent intolerance of anyone not aussie born and bred, white and living in Scarborough W.A that he could overlook skin colour. But see, he balanced his support by calling him a “cunt” which means he has not totally betrayed his bogan value systems and therefor cannot be attacked by his feral mates. Or maybe I am wrong, maybe he thought Obama had a great plan to improve the hospital system in the USA and he liked his response to the GFC?

19 01 2010
hel

I bet if I had asked him what he thought about GFC he would have replied “It’s KFC ya silly bitch, chuck us a beer ya dumb mole”

19 01 2010
hindustan

cunt can also be a term of endearment. ‘poor cunt’ and so forth…

19 01 2010
hel

I love the word cunt. I have been known to use it as a term of endearment, especially when calling my children to my side across a crowded playground…..

19 01 2010
shazza

Scarborough (Scabs)? Say no more hel.

19 01 2010
hel

Ah you get it then! Haha! I never understood their preoccupation to referring to their choice of suburb as “Scabs” I mean, it would be self depreciating if they knew what that meant. They are just, oh god they are just bogans, ’nuff said.

19 01 2010
brad

When i was a younger man i had a string of relationships with cerebral/middle class type girls like hel who thought they’d “slum-it” for a while,however too keep such innocent fish dangling for 18 mnths-thats not sport,just plain cruel-a month or 2 was all i could stand before i’d cut the line and set them free-usually by moving onto their best friend.

19 01 2010
hel

so you went the sloppy “seconds” after your best mate and all the other guys in the group shagged her while you were with her best mate? Nice, a man with principles 😀

19 01 2010
bec

By “cut them loose” you mean “undo the air-plug on the blow-up doll”, right Brad?

19 01 2010
hel

careful Bec or he will call us feminazis or lesbians and tell us we just need a decent fuck to sort us out! My bogan sense is tingling! Anybody call for a wife beater?!

19 01 2010
Beck

*chuckle* @ Bec. Perhaps it was the end of the month, and the Crazy Chicks Go Wild calendar had to be changed over to the new date. Damn these 30-day months. Oh well … cut her loose.

19 01 2010
brad

Ladies please,no need for such crassness i was merely pointing out that Hels’s ex must have been very un-gent like too have procured her into an obviously dysfunctional relationship for such a long period of time.

19 01 2010
Beck

Sorry brad … It must be all the expletives being thrown around on TBL lately. I’ve gone all craptastic … 😉

19 01 2010
hel

But yet you to continue to stereotype! I was the one conducting the sociological experiment! I pursued and cast aside. You must remove your phallically dominated train of thought from all discussions! All said with no swearing!

20 01 2010
brad

But 18 mnths? i spose social experiments can become addictive,i wont even go into my “fat chicks” stage

19 01 2010
Indi

Hel and back, huh?

19 01 2010
hel

Indi, that comment has been said to me more often than drunken bogans have had a Southern Cross tattoo done in Bali. Bogan in its unoriginality! 🙂

19 01 2010
Indi

One of a couple of noms de blog of mine, Helen Highwater and Helen Back ( and her passive aggressive husband Holden Back). Sorry for the commonplace.

19 01 2010
hel

OMG that made me think of that hideous bogan film from the 80s or late 90s, Ford Fairlane! WTF was that all about? Oh god, using WTF makes me so boug.

19 01 2010
Right and proud

Btw, Obama wasn’t running against Bush at the ’08 election. Bush had served the two-terms as President, which is the maximum you can serve in the U.S.A. Obama was running against John McCain.

I am certain there are literally THOUSANDS of other girls Australia-wide, decent sorts with a reasonable amount of braincells, who are currently dating some bogan because he is “Sooo hot!” or because he’s the head honcho of his ‘Crew’ or whatever else. I wouldn’t get too cut about it Hel. I see these women all the time…

19 01 2010
hel

I am aware of this fact dear fellow, however the anti republican wrath was a direct result of Bush. it is too much of a stretch to imagine a bogan in “Scabs” could have any concept of a small, withered old man running with his show pony side kick. It was anti Bush/republican party vitriol that would have made them go pro Obama.

I am guessing you see these women all the time because they are rebuffing your advances as you do not have a “crew” of your own?

Don’t worry, their allure, albeit incomprehensible to one who does not possess their boganesque powers of seduction is simple to put into laymans terms. Huge cock. Really, really massive 😀

19 01 2010
Beck

Thanks for clearing that up because up to this point that hadn’t been entirely clear. I, for example, was under the impression that it may have been his impressive skills in reading Chaucer by firelight.

And now, we all must bathe.

20 01 2010
Right and proud

I don’t make advances to these women, as I am quite choosy myself. It just baffles me to see such females who could clearly do a lot better than their current squeeze, but seem happy to scrape the bottom of the barrel with their popped-collar polo shirt, faux-hawk, tribal tatt, Oakley sunny clad, Corona-drinking bogan at their side.

And FTR, penis size is something I’ve never really had to worry about 😉

20 01 2010
Indi

The strange byways of the human heart and mind. Many people actually enjoy feeling superior to their partners, and will put up with all kinds of shit so that they can have that privilege.

20 01 2010
shazza

Especially if male bogan is working on the mines. She’ll only have to endure him one week a month. And he’ll spend at least 3 days of that week going out with his mates.

20 01 2010
Nelson Esq

It is a sad indictment on the people who feel they must be superior to their partner. Obviously this is a product of their own low self esteem.

20 01 2010
hel

I was waiting for you to defend your manhood. You can drop your mask, you’re amongst friends here. 🙂

20 01 2010
Indi

And to quote a dear departed friend “There’s no such thing as an ugly penis, it’s just some of the settings.”

19 01 2010
meatray

An update from the Garden City. This story warms the heart. Que Bruce Springsteen (sing)…”This is my home town…THIS IS MAAAAAAYYYYYY HOOOOOMMMME TOOOOOOWN!”
http://www.thechronicle.com.au/story/2009/12/10/naked-women-fought-in-city-street/

19 01 2010
Kimba

Kaysahn! Her name is Kaysahn! Bwahahaha!

19 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, at least it’s not Shazza.

19 01 2010
Simon

Don’t you pick on Shazza. She is my friend.

19 01 2010
Keeping Kosher Klansman

Holy shit. Just got it. The poor girl never had a chance. Perhaps Channel Nine will dramatise her court case in a lavish miniseries -“Underbelly: The Battle of Kaysahn.” Ticks all the boxes.

Wonder if her dear old dad named her three kids too: Barnesy, Mossy and uh, Drummer.

19 01 2010
James

I also hail from Toowoomba, and the local bogues know the place as “Tbar” these days. Makes it sound cool or tough, or something similarly inane.

19 01 2010
Indi

Isn’t it a type of women’s shoe, or a daggy school sandal?

19 01 2010
Paddington

It is three syllables, after all.

19 01 2010
Loftie

Bogue Tattoos are great… What do you think the tattoo artists were thinking as they inked them?? (Unless they were also Bogue’s, in which case its fully sick mate)

Check these 3 – they are my favourites….
#1 – All Time Best Bogue Tattoo…. (note the Australia Flag Shorts also)

#2 – Amputee tattoo… (not gory or disgusting)

#3 – Boguette tattoo… (unicorns, dolphins….what??)

19 01 2010
hel

Oh My God

19 01 2010
Indi

# 3 Looks like a set of slurred instructions late at night ‘An I wan’ a rainbow . . anna dolphin . . .anna fucken unicorn’ (falls into drunken stupor).

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

that’s the funniest comment all day! kudos!

19 01 2010
Loftie

x 2
very sharp…
you know if I close my eyes, I can see that drama unfold….

19 01 2010
Indi

You’d have to have a sense of humour to be a tattoist.

19 01 2010
Peter of Kensington

“You’d have to have a sense of humour to be a tattoist”

and to understand that tattoo, it seems.

19 01 2010
bec

Love.

19 01 2010
Robbie

OMG!!!!!!!!! (note the capitals and excessive use of exclamation marks)
That story warmed my heart meatray….I wanted to paraphrase parts of the story but found the entire story priceless 🙂
Boganity lives and will live forever it seems…*reaches for another valium*

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Alltime favourite Balinese tatoo fuckup

lol – Right Arm – then Gay Premiers.

Boge deserved nothing less.

19 01 2010
hel

I don’t follow AFL so I am not even sure what that supposed to mean, but I can tell it is a massive fuck up! What should it have said? It makes no sense!

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Right arm = where it was meant to be placed…words not actually tattoo’ed
Gay Premiers should have been Day Premiers

19 01 2010
berihebi

And, isn’t it on his left arm???

19 01 2010
berihebi

No, looked again, right arm it is I guess.

19 01 2010
Loftie

Day Premiers = GRAND FINAL Winners
Night Premiers = PRE SEASON Winners

19 01 2010
hel

Good god! If AFL creates the proliferation of such hideous tattoos I am glad I am not into it! So did it actually say gay premiers in the end result? God that is funny

19 01 2010
hel

HANG ON! I have tattoos, they sting, you watch it being done, didn’t he realise? God that is so bogan.

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Yes it did.

The boge who got it done was so proud of it that the local rag The Geelong Advertiser did a story on it.

Last time I heard, he had left it as Gay Premiers 2007.

S’pose he has Gay Premiers 2009 now.

19 01 2010
hel

ow there is a bogan thing, get a tattoo and then add each year they win a premiership, if they are any good he could have a list of dates down his arm, intermixed with the name of each child as they are born! Now that is classy! Why do you need to deliniate between day or night? Surely if you were going to bother getting it tattooed you would only do it if they had been PREMIER premiers or am I missing the point? hang on, we are talking bogans.

19 01 2010
ThePineapple

The uptake of tats has also coiencided with the rise of tats by AFL players. I was at a game where all throughout the game an 8 year old kid kept harassing his dad to get a full sleeve just like his hero Dane Swan…http://www3.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Collingwood+Magpies+Training+Session+ZF21NWhPA3sl.jpg

I wonder if he is also going to end up bashing innocent victims leaving them scared for life, just like his hero.

19 01 2010
brad

ha ha ha brilliant(from a pies supporter who thinks Dane’s a goose)

19 01 2010
AJ
19 01 2010
AJ

in particular these two gems-
I have the new CFC symbol big on my upper arm. As my arms are getting bigger and more toned it looks better and better
Bloke from wablues recently had that ripping the skin with the CFC in bright blue underneath. looks great.
We had a thread on this about a year ago and a lot of people put photos like that on it. Maybe do a search or ask HBF if he could find it for you

and

One of my next tatt’s is going to be my hands ripping apart my chest with an anatomically correct heart underneath covered in the green and gold… but I am thinking changing it slightly to be half green and gold and half old dark navy with the CFC emblem on it (with our old motto under it because I am going to be spending this year working on getting right back into shape again and the motto fits ).

19 01 2010
ThePineapple

oh my..you quoted BigFooty..the biggest collective of bogans the web has seen! Make sure you check out bay 13 or even try and have a reasonable debate with a 34 year old who thinks and acts like a 12 year old on them forums.

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Once upon a time that forum was informative about football, now all you get is”Your team is shit” or “You’re team is full of rapists”.

Full of moron boges of the highest order.

19 01 2010
AJ

i found a pocket not yet infectected by juveniles (actual juveniles and old men acting like juveniles) but im not telling where for fear of having such a place tarnished. plus im working on the mines and have nothing better to do with my day. sad.

19 01 2010
Azza

I thought NRL players were sad! I know someone who got the Barcaldine ‘Sand Goanna’ on his chest after winning the local Rugby League premiership! Barcaldine, population 1500. Total number of teams in competition – 3!

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Bogan AFL footballer tatoo’s

Brendan Fevola

Captain of the boganest AFL club of all (with an insert of Spida Everitt)

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Another Collingwood bogan

19 01 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Damn. Somebody find the spaz who had the Collingwood mural done on his back recently. Complete with Victoria Park, Joffa and Eddie McGuire. I heard it was in the Herald Sun, perhaps last week? Knuckle-dragger from Tasmania (not saying all are – but this guy qualifies).

19 01 2010
berihebi

Are his kids names Mia and Lent?

19 01 2010
Simon

I think Collingwood Footy Club is a topic on its own. In fact a whole separate study into behaviour patterns.

19 01 2010
ThePineapple

oh the stories i can share in my limited experience at collingwood games. I can only imagine the horrid that victoria park would have been back in the day.

One game i was sitting amongst the collingwood ferals at the mcg and an aboriginal player went down injured..the crowd kept yelling racial abuse at him.

“Give him some fuel tha’ll sort im out”

“told ya black cunts are usless”

then the homophobia

“Ya nethin but a faggot hall”

etc etc

i had to leave at 3/4 time from disgust.

19 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

The most anti-racist football photo of all time.

Nicky Winmar raising his jumper and pointing to his black skin as he walked off Victoria Park amidst a barrage of the most hate filled racist insults the bogan mass of filth supporters to spew out.

Collingwood supporters are still the same. Filthy racist bogan pigs.

19 01 2010
brad

hot pies- you love it

19 01 2010
Indi

And that was just the little old ladies (LOLs usually but not in this form). I was fascinated as a child by a remark yelled by :

“Bend over and open your eye, umpy!”

I couldn’t get my father to explain it to me.

19 01 2010
Toddo

The Collingwood Football Club should be spared from this site, and would be better utilised on ‘Things prisoners like’
In keeping in theme with TBL, one would be better off writing about West Coast Eagle supporters.

20 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Collingwood = Things toothless bogans like.

19 01 2010
Azza

Baby koala shot at Morayfield – http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,26607619-952,00.html

It seems the bogan enjoys doing damage with another type of gun!

19 01 2010
shazza

That’s depressing Azza. Here in Perth we have some similar types currently terrorising a local kangaroo population with arrows. I can’t think of a more eloquent way to say, it’s fucked.

19 01 2010
Indi

Things one is used to asociating with Adelaide.

19 01 2010
Simon

No Indi, in Adelaide we go straight to humans and stuff them in barrels not torment fluffy animals.

19 01 2010
Indi

Isn’t a tour through the zoo bashing things like a training exercise?

19 01 2010
Azza

Morayfield is a Suburb of the bogan capital of Qld, Caboolture. It’s near Gympie, check it:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Gympie

Uncyclopedia is funny shit:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Bogan

A list of common designs and their meaning from http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Tattoo:

Star(s) – I listen to metal/punk music, wear Converse trainers, and use Myspace daily.
Teardrop – I am unable to cry due to malfunctioning tear glands.
Tattoo on a girl’s lower back, right above her ass (A.K.A. Tramp Stamp) – I am a slut.
Swastika – I really enjoyed the film ‘American History X’.
Spiderwebs – Don’t tell anyone, but I touch children.
Band logo – I had sex with the lead guitarist of …. , and all i got was this lousy tattoo and Aids.
‘Tribal’ symbol/band – Please, please, please don’t let me die a virgin!
Butterfly – OMG I love kittens and bunnies, they are SOOO CUTE! AWW!
Equations – I did this as a dare/want to cheat in my upcoming exams.
Chinese/Japanese symbols – I want to appear spiritual, but have no idea that this is actually item 34 on a takeaway menu
Fire – I am X-TrEmE! I ride a BMX bike and protest against things! Fuck the system!
‘M’ on the forehead – I am the Ultimate Super Bad Ass Muthafucker… bitch.
Arm Band – I would really love it if you thought I had muscular arms.
Nintendo Wii in erogeneous area – I am a real American.
Dragon on the face – i thought i was the only one who has seen Demetri Martin’s Important Things.

19 01 2010
Kimba
19 01 2010
hel

Get out the crayola and colour me tickled pink, oh wait, he already did that. Notice his wifes name? Jazz! Classy!

19 01 2010
SammySo

I can only imagine what a conversation with this meathead would be like. Everything will eventually end up being about collingwood.

19 01 2010
hindustan

how do bogans with SC tatts react when they see other bogans with the same SC tatt?

19 01 2010
hel

yell in an alcohol fueled voice “Fuckin’ sic mayyyyyte! I got the same fuckin ink!” then chest bump or do some convoluted, wigger based, pseudo gang related hand shake

19 01 2010
hindustan

so it’s like a ‘club’ or ‘league’ membership thing then?

19 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Pretty much…after the first bogan finds out that the second bogan has the Sc tatt, he decides he won’t glass the cunt afterall…

19 01 2010
hindustan

what is a lebo or asian got a SC tattoo? what would the bogan reaction be???

20 01 2010
Indi

Deep confusion, possibly resulting in a glassing, or a ‘swelling strings’ moment of insight.

19 01 2010
Kylie

So it’s a modern day, bogan version of the Freemason’s handshake?

19 01 2010
Paddington

All this hyper-fanaticism: It’s all a bit Trixie Belden, in my opinion. Those crazy kids and their Bobwhite Gang. If only we knew the secret *whistle*, we could have been part of the action.

19 01 2010
Anthony

If you live in Perth or are visiting spend a day at Adventure World in Bibra Lake to see what the latest bogan tattooes are in vogue. We took our 3 yo son there for his birthday & it was a visual attack that I will not forget in a hurry; Southern Cross, little Cheyne & Dakota’s birthdates, wedding dates, monsters with flames, tribal, etc. Probably the only other location I have witnessed so many tatt’s en masse was around the Sunshine Coast area on holidays last year.

You name it was there & age was no boundary; the number of brain dead 18-23 yo with these hideous expressions of stupidity was staggering complete with pseudo mullets & the thick white framed Oakleys.

After we left my 4yo daughter said “Daddy, when are you getting a tattoo?”. My wife & I were quite amused by her observations. Seriously why would you bother & join the other lemmings with this permanent scarring?

19 01 2010
Robbie

Can I just say that Hel has made my day with her comments…very funny 🙂

If you’ve ever been to Penrith, NSW you’ll notice that every second bogue (male & female) has at least 1 tattoo….and as Anthony said, every type of symbol is ‘inked’ on some part of their body.
I especially love the crucifix/rosary beads/religious iconography on a bogue who has probably never been to a Church or indeed has no religious or spiritual ideology….I suppose the colour scheme matches their vile Ed Hardy shirt/leopard print capris.

19 01 2010
Lee

This topic is a bit of a sore point to me, you see I got the southern cross tattooed on me about 15 years ago before I had seen one on anybody else, while most of the fuckwits that have it now were still in kindy.
Oh well, shit happens!

19 01 2010
shazza

Time for a cover up Lee?

19 01 2010
hel

It is like when kids say they like The Prodigy but have no idea their first album exists, or people who don’t realise Wil Smith used to be a (really shitty) rapper. God it is so much fun being superior! We don’t judge you here Lee, you’re as big a victim of the bogan nationalistic pride as the other minority groups they target.

19 01 2010
bec

LIES. When you say “Will Smith used to be a (really shitty) rapper”, it implies that he is no longer a shitty rapper. He is, btw.

19 01 2010
hel

I stand corrected!!! I really, really do!

20 01 2010
Lee

I toyed with the idea of a cover up but that to me seems like the cowards way out! I can deal with the associated boganity one would assume I have because I have a tattoo and simply leave them to their small mindedness.
After all, being judgemental is a bogan trait in itself. One of the stars has been partially removed and two have a big scar running through them after an injury sustained from an accident at work several years ago so now I guess they have a story to tell.

20 01 2010
Simon

See, tatts come back to haunt you.

19 01 2010
Fran

I cringed the other day when I saw a guy wearing a shirt with a southern cross made out of the Unit symbol. I’ve also seen the “southern cross of Unit stickers” on a few utes. I wonder how long it’ll be before I see someone with that as a tattoo.

19 01 2010
Paddington

I was at first befuddled by the appearance of all this “Unit” business. When I was younger (get out your Mayan calendars) the word “unit” was an insult; it was slang for a specific part of male genitalia. The word was therefore hurled out vehicle windows at errant drivers, people using pedestrian crossings, lights that turned amber, and the like. Common use: “Get a bloody move on, ya bloody unit!” I still don’t know how bogans can have it emblazoned across the rear windows of their cars. Unit; Yes, I know you are.

19 01 2010
bec

Apparently it’s a dirt bike thing. Rather self-explanatory.

19 01 2010
Paddington

Two of my favourite things. Dirt. And motocross. Followed closely by that other must-do: self immolation. Also, who on earth designed their logo. Someone needs to do an elementary course in typography.

20 01 2010
Bec

Almost as inexplicable as those teeny tiny little BMXs…

20 01 2010
Paddington

Agreed. There is something highly disturbing about watching a 175cm man on a bike the perfect size for a five-year-old. It’s like watching the clowns perform their routine at the circus. All that’s missing is that crazy carnival music. (and possibly a dancing monkey).

20 01 2010
bec

Make the tiny bike motorised and it’s enough to make your ovaries shrivel up and hide behind your lungs.

4 02 2010
hel

The girlfriends are the monkeys. Supre wearing monkeys.

20 01 2010
Matt

Spied the aussie swazie at my gym in London 2 weeks ago. Actually, I initially saw this guy (respendant in a beer singlet of course) attempting to ‘get huge’ by lifting an insanely stupid amount of weight, in a way that would have no benefit other than the general amusement of everyone else in the gym.
Later in the changing room I hear the unmistakable bogan twang of this guy on his mobile telling his mate how shitfaced he got the night before, I turned around, there it was, surronded by a map of Australia drawn by a 5year old, the aussie swazie!

20 01 2010
Peter

The UK alternative is Made In England inked across the back at the upper shoulder level. Bonus points are added for a scorpion inked on the neck, and listening to Robbie Williams undoubtably gives the chav (you see it’s the violent component of the acronym that’s most appealing) a certain edgy credibility in the (shock-horror) absence of any ink.

20 01 2010
rurray

I know a young fellow who had the ‘Australian Made’ green triangle with yellow stylised kangaroo tattooed on himself. Unfortunately he was too young to know that it was a marketing device used in the 80s to get people to buy Australian goods, and that he had just definitely ‘branded’ himself.

20 01 2010
Lana

I think the SC tattoo or tribal tattoo is some kind of bogans right of passage into some secret order. and the uniqueness of each tattoo determines your status in that order,

Problem is what happens if you all have the same tattoo? Aka the southern cross then who’s boss?
lol oh man

20 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I notice you didn’t (because you couldn’t) address the OTHER point in my comment.

20 01 2010
Lana

Who are you ranting on about Fiona? 😛

20 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. The most ironic commenter here, “Shazza”.

20 01 2010
Brett

haha oh wow I think I know that guy

20 01 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Incredible. I said a few days back that the media was basically using this site for its own material. No longer is there any doubt

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/southern-cross-used-like-swastika-filmmaker/story-e6frfku0-1225821773867

20 01 2010
kieran krud

just saw this on rupertsviews.com.au.
gold.. same pic and all.
i think its a nod to this fine pubicaion.

ps. the auzzie swazzie nickname, brings a smile every time i see one now.
makes ‘oi oi oi’ seem like nazi/oi punk bogan call all the more.

20 01 2010
hel

Can Things Bogans Like do a piece on how bogans like tiny BMX bikes? I can link you to a facebook page (silly bogan has not set it to private) where he has many shots of him, taken by vacuous, supre adorned GF, doing “tricks” at the skate park on said tiny BMX and in the background you can see all the little kids thinking “Why is there a pseudo adult here riding a tiny bike?”. I always wonder, how do their knees not hit the handle bars…………

21 01 2010
LoL-Plates

One of the strange things i’ve noticed growing up in the arse end of the sutherland shire, is that for all the ‘aussie pride’ and the like none of them have the balls to join the patriotic youth league. Even with all the “leb hate”, the words nazi and skin head scares them…

21 01 2010
Indi

‘Politics is for losers with no friends, ay?’

21 01 2010
LoL-Plates

I just think it’s bizzare, Neo Nazism is right up their ally : violence, violence and racism. The strict ‘moral code’ and regimented life of a skin head probably doesn’t sit well with the bogan plus they can’t listen to kings of leon- its hardcore all the way.

23 01 2010
Lee

Arse end of the shire, do you have a 2233 sticker on your car? 😉

21 01 2010
Salaam wa aleikum

When the extremists take over this land it’s going to be a lot easier for them to distinguish the infidels. Let them have their tatts while I continue to grow my beard to ‘fit’ in.

21 01 2010
Lana

ahahhahahah *Fully sic bro* 😛

22 01 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

So some call them “austika” now ??

Dont know who comes off looking more offensive in this.
Some of you ask where all the “scary ethnics are?” fair enough but where are all these marauding, raping and looting terrorisers baring Southern Cross tattoos ?? I hear so much about them but they do not impact on my life .

27 01 2010
Tash

Yesterday (Australia Day) I was at Flinders St Station coming home from the tennis. A young bogan stepped off the train to see the fireworks beginning over the river. He then proceeded to take his tee-shirt off to reveal a Southern Cross Tattoo over his left shoulder and another Tattoo on his lower abdomen which read “Aussie Pride” in fancy lettering.
I have never been so proud to be Australian!

12 08 2012
Lance

This is awesome. Aussie foreva

27 01 2010
McNamara

“the Southern Cross appears on the Australian flag, and also the flags of New Zealand, Brazil, Papua New Guinea and Samoa” – the Brazilian flag has a unique mathematically accurate depiction of the sky above the capital (Brasilia) the night the constitution was signed, if only we had something unique on our flag.

29 01 2010
Laura

I doubt it gets much more boganic than having the Aussie Swasie stamped on one’s NECK. That, to me, is about as bogue-ish as can be.

4 02 2010
4 02 2010
hel

ooooooooooo “cult website Things Bogans Like”. Now they will need to do a blog on Bogans liking cults!

4 02 2010
James

I love the comments – I’ve been following them all day.

27 05 2010
Julia

Found this gem of a troll on this (http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Not-needing-a-tattoo-to-remember-what-country-Im-from/108288369924) facebook page:

“If your proud of where your from, Your simply proud its not being racist or nothing, Plus if you dont like it fuck off welcome to Australia were proud to call our selves aussies we love our beer meat pies tattoos piercings and ACDC if you say we should adapt to your shit than youse got ya story completely fucked up lik…e i said Welcome to Australia were BOGAN! and ide love to say IM BOGAN and aint no person whos gonna change that”

25 08 2010
#168 – Brazil « Things Bogans Like

[…] is, or what any local cuisine might look or taste like. But it loves Brazil. The flag has the Southern Cross in it, which would ordinarily impress the bogan, but it’s barely aware of what the flag looks […]

17 09 2010
Ash

I have something shameful to admit.

I am a brown person with a Southern Cross tattoo.

One night my bogan mates got me drunk and thought it would be funny to get it inked on my arm.

Incidentally, that was also the night I gave up drinking for good. And got yelled at by my mum for getting a tattoo.

17 09 2010
vivisection

Ash, Chop your arm off. The only solution, unless its on your leg.

24 09 2010
Ash

It’s on my back. As soon as I can afford it I’m getting it lasered off.

24 09 2010
Ash

My bad – the Southern Cross is on my arm. I have another bogan tattoo on my back (a tribal one) but that was after I lost a bet with a non-bogan mate. That one too is going.

22 11 2010
#195 – Impersonating someone who impersonated someone who impersonated Mark Read « Things Bogans Like

[…] to describe this multi-stage stupefying simulacra process would create uneasiness amongst the Southern Cross tattooed set, it is nonetheless true that the Eric Bana to Ronnie Johns alley ‘oop has distilled Chopper […]

24 01 2011
Edgar

This book is unbelievable! I have to buy it… The weirdest thing is that I have been looking at getting a southern cross tattoo for ages now but now I realise that it is the wrong thing. I just think its an amazing symbol for Australiens of all cultural backgrouds to come together under one sign, that being the southern cross. I am aborignal and my people have been looking at the southern cross for tens of thousands of years.
If I were to get the tattoo now all meaning would be unidentifiable.
The craziest of all is that I found a blog (themessage-online.blogspot.com) with some crazy ozzie band playing all this stuff and their album is called the Southern Cross Tattoos… I downloaded it immediatly because i thought they might be a racist band but I dont think they are.
It really should be in this book in a way, if not, look at it because it really relates.

25 01 2011
Tim Barnes

I’m trying to direct any bogan who reads my blog to this site. (barnardbarnes.blogspot.com) I have seen a ‘Love it or leave it’ sticker and a ‘Southern Cross’ sticker on two sperate cars in the last two days. I followed them and slashed their wheels. The police let me go but arrested the offending car owners for bogan like characteristics.

26 01 2011
MrSquiggle70

For all those who ever wondered what the bogue population of Australia is, the SMH gives us a clue today. They ask in an online poll “Which of the following would be your preferred Australian flag?” 9% chose the Eureka Flag, aka the Southern Cross flag. That’s about 2,034,000 confirmed bogues. God help us.

http://www.smh.com.au/national/keep-the-australian-flag-immigration-minister-chris-bowen-says-20110126-1a4tk.html

12 08 2012
Lance

Hey shitbrake,

The Eureka flag and southern cross are totally different. Put some glasses on and take a better look

4 02 2011
Hoshie

There are things in this article i agree with but i also disagree with parts. Yes it is a shame how so many are using such a symbolic symbol for racism and hatred. The southercross is sign of hope and guidence for all, showing us our way. It is great to hear people proud of being australian, too long people wont accept themselves as aussie but rather something else residing in australia. But too many take this pride too far and give the rest a bad name. Lastly the crounulla protests, you can tell me that they failed. The true story of cronulla is hidden by the media. The media tell it in such a negitive light but it is not how i saw it. Cronulla was scary place before the protests. I know my self had a knife pulled on me by (unfortunatly) lebianse men coming out of a cronulla nightclub. I had female friends told that they werre not worth 25 years as they walked the beach, and yes unfortunatly again they were lebanese. Police were scared of them. That day was a protest that cronulla wanted a safe beach to enjoy for all. I even had a mate of lebianese decendet with a shirt on next to me with fuck off lebbos. Not that he thought all lebianese were to blame but it was unfortunate that it was the majority. Some did take it too far, and with alchol the mess turned into violence. A shame cause we stood for something more. Don’t forget the poor life guard bashed by 5 lebs a week before the protest. Coming off duty, bashed on the beach.
I say bogons settle down and let us live together, loudly, proudly in the australian way and spirit and if you want to tattoo aussie pride on you make sure you understand the aussie way. A non raciest bunch of people here to help the fellow man! Queensland floods are the best example, lets see that on a TATTOO!!!!

25 05 2011
Alexander turnbull

thought i should share

23 02 2012
Rob

Has anyone here visited Brisbane and suburb’s????Bogan,red neck or any other name you would like to lambaste would be mild as stars,flags and ignorance are the primary characteristics of the “many”.I also want to point out that there is nothing to be proud of when you look at our flag as it just reminds me of how this country was stolen,we cant even get ourselves to be independent or a republic and put the proper flag(aboriginal) instead of the lost empires union Jack.

23 02 2012
Rob

ohh by the way every race that came here from the 40s till today have all had it hard by us Aussies,Italians,Maltese,Greeks,Lebanese ,Spanish have had the wog treatment and I was one of those that was on their side as I realised after i went travelling round the globe for 6 years that civilisation did not start when the British landed here,shit if it wasnt for a wog (roman)we would not have a toilet and democracy was given to us by the greeks.

12 08 2012
Lance

Who Eva wrote this is not proud to be an Aussie. Just because you have a southern cross doesn’t make you a Bogon or an Aussie. It’s like America claiming the ‘red, white and blue’. This about it, there are numerous flags with those 3 colours (Aus, NZ, Russia, Thailand, France etc).

Leave the so called ‘bogons’ alone and get a proper job mate.

15 08 2012
Meatray.

Who is Eva?

6 10 2012
Mali Taus

Thanks for generalising and judging the world, you moron.

I have a full back Sth X tattoo. It has nothing to do with bogan (or even patriotism): I have spent a lot of my life (professional category if you must know) north of my family and when I look up at the night sky n see the Cross (together with the pointers showing where south is) I think “that points to my wife/kids/Mum & Dad” etc. So it points me home. That’s why I got my tatt at the age of 48.

It is also a great, simple and powerful arrangement that just looks good. Like the christian cross and the Union Jack: simple but catchy to the eye.

I didn’t get the tatto because of “bogan tendencies”. Our flag and the constellation on it doesn’t say “bogan” it says hard working, fair go, multicultural, tolerant, etc, all the things that made Oz what it is today, notwithstanding morons like you.

Just a pity I am currently in Libya (working with people from around the globe, including Muslims who are good people like the vast majority of man-kind) and the Sth. Cross is below the horizon 😦 But thanks to Google Sky Maps on my ‘phone I can still “see” it and say “that way to those I love”. Espescially when I can hear gunfire!!!

8 05 2014
Timo

Well said Mali Taus. Good on ya!

8 06 2014
Hack

Ink yourself up so that you look like trash, and verify it to anyone who sees you !

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