#19 – Killing Things

5 11 2009

If there’s one thing a bogan enjoys more than arbitrary thievery, it’s arbitrary violence. Driven by an ongoing quest to reinforce its place at the top of the food chain, the bogan likes killing things. This may include a variety of manifestations such as hunting, fighting, bashing, whaling and talking about joining the army and war. In fact, any vulgar display of power over another creature or human is much loved by the bogan.

"Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean..."While human evolution is characterised by a number of important morphological, developmental and psychological changes, the bogan adamantly clings onto its primordial urge to kill. To further its bloodlust, the bogan will also own ferocious pets such as Rottweilers (Rotties), Pit-bulls, Bull Arabs and Staffordshire Terriers (Staffies) that are trained to maim pesky neighbours, stray cats or Asians.  Not satisfied with making itself huge, the bogan will turn its attention to the family dog. It is overfed, overwalked and has its own, massive tub of canine protein powder. During walks in the park, the intimidating beast will usually harass unsuspecting passers-by and their pets by barking loudly and behaving aggressively, starkly reminiscent of its owner.

After a long day at the office/other place of work, the bogan likes to come home and unwind with a session of Grand Theft Auto- not completing missions but merely engaging in acts of arbitrary theft and mindless violence, using the cheat codes.  Alternatively, it may choose to place itself in front of the television in order to enjoy shows revolving around random violence, such as Destroyed in Seconds or Air Crash Investigation, and make puzzling indictments about the story line.

This love of televisual violence is nurtured at a very young age, via the PG-rated, can’t-watch-but-can’t-look-away, oh-look-that-guy-just-fell-face-first-on-a-rake, montage of domestic injury known colloquially as Funniest Home Videos. Thus, unlike other placental mammals, the bogan’s evolution seems strangely prolonged.


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66 responses

5 11 2009
Dan

So true.

5 11 2009
pinky has a brain

This is so true it’s scary.

5 11 2009
Linda

Oh my GOSH.. very true

5 11 2009
brad

echo

5 11 2009
reality

its because of war that you self confessed snobs or sobs are able to live in a free country maybe you guys could all get together and start your own country on a island somwhere …. many lols indeed

5 11 2009
boots

Wasn’t it the ultra-left unionist socialists who secured those rights during the 20th century, whilst the capitalists fought them on everything from the eight hour day to unfair dismissal to workplace safety, simultaneously growing corpulent off wars which exacted a horrendous deathtoll in which the working classes were disproportionately represented? Sounds like freedom to me. Guys like you deserve to spend a few months in soggy, disease-ridden trenches. Many lols will be had, indeed.

5 11 2009
reality

sorry could you please boganise those sentences for me i couldnt understand a word of it….

5 11 2009
martin english

It was also the “ultra-left unionist socialists” who supported the invasion of Hugary in the 50’s, the Berlin wall and the Cultural Revolution in the ’60 and so on and so forth.

But , to the point made by ‘Reality’…. The post says “…talking about joining the army and war.”

It is referring to the wankers who always have an excuse as to why they would love to do something “but I can’t because of me back”. The post is not denigrating those who have the integrity to actually enlist.

6 11 2009
Boots

I’ll pay that, but I don’t know how many Aussie lefties strictly supported Soviet imperial policy or Maoist atrocities. But mainly I was just pointing out the idiocy of thinking wars bring freedom.

5 11 2009
Frazer

When has Australia ever been attacked…since colonisation?

6 11 2009
Pablo

Australia was atttacked by the Japanese Imperial Forces during WWII. Signficant bombings occured in Broome, Darwin, Cairns and Townsville.

6 11 2009
brad

now

29 03 2011
Pellicle

a good point, and one which is often ignored. The bombing of NT in WW2 can hardly count for an attack. Sure, compared to peace time it was terrifying but compared to what went on in most of Europe … of course the Bogan shares much with the American equivalent

5 11 2009
Lee

Aaah Ive been waiting for this one. While I dont like fighting, bashing, maiming or whaling I am involved in the shooting sports and enjoy a spot of recreational hunting.
Oh this is going to be good, lets have it!

5 11 2009
Indi

Hunting feral animals is all good, as long as you eat what you shoot. Well, maybe not wild dogs or cats, but that’s another matter.

5 11 2009
Lee

I certainly do Indi, cats, foxes, dogs and the like are dispatched on site, same with most pigs. Deer, goats and the odd rabbit are all taken home for meat which gives me the ultimate in organic, free range meat and I know exactly who and how it has been handled from the field to the plate.
If a fox or a cat is taken without too much damage to the skin, the skin’s usually get taken and they come up quite nice.
I just wish people could actually get out and see the damage these animals cause and then understand that their numbers need to be controlled.

5 11 2009
Indi

Lee I live in the country, near State Forest and you’re absolutely right about the damage. (I also live with cattle, so find the ‘cattle do good things for forests’ argument pretty funny . . .).

I have a hippy neighbour who is a roadkill fan – he actually found a deer on the side of a local road which is now in his freezer. He’s working his way through every species he can. So why don’t the pigs get eaten?

5 11 2009
Lee

Pigs actually carry a host of nasty bugs like liver fluke, hydatids, other types of tapeworms and so on and usually are infested with ticks. We do take young sows for meat, primarily sausages but pigs being pigs most of them are left alone unless a particularly healthy one is shot but then comes the chore of going through the liver, heart and lungs looking for bugs (or the absence of) to be sure the animal is fit for consumption.

5 11 2009
Cindy

Lee, like most bogans, justifies his bloodlust with statements like ‘while i don’t actually enjoy commiting a criminal offence i do enjoy whatching the life flow out of a defensless animal’. Lee and his fellow mates prove many bogan traits do not die. While in the past bogans whent roo and pig shooting urban bogans in 2009 favour the less time consuming expressions of such depravity.

5 11 2009
Lee

Cindy, like most ill-informed inner city dwelling and by the sounds of it anemic vegetarian types tend to have such a narrow-minded and largely un-educated opinion on things they clearly do not know a thing about and are usually malleable to the rantings of peanut factories with cult followings such as PETA, who really wouldn’t know, excuse the bogan speak, shit from clay.
Now Cindy you are, as is everybody else entitled to voice an opinion, but please be reminded an opinion is based on fact, fact is acquired through personal experience and education on the subject.
Untill such time you choose to learn about the subject you object so strongly too, try (as hard as it may be for you) to learn something about it.
In bogan speak, fuck off untill you know what you are talking about.

5 11 2009
Lee

May I also point out that ‘roo shooting is illegal, unless it is a government sanctioned cull or a farmer with the appropriate macropod mitigation tags for crop protection.

9 11 2009
Muz

Whilst you may not take the shot unless you can be sure of the kill there are 99 other boofheads out there shooting the shit out of everything and anything. (Have a look at any road sign on a country road.)

What annoys me about shooters (and I used to be one) is none of them ever admit that they get a kick out of killing things. At least be honest about it. They love the power and the thrill of taking a life.

Except they won’t say so.

They dress it up with some sort of crap like ‘I’m doing the farmers a favour’ or ‘I only shoot feral animals’ or ‘they’re pests that kill native wildlife’. All admirable reasons but you’d have to wonder how many of them would do it if it was actually a chore or they had some sense of empathy towards the animals they kill and maim.

What put me off it 25 years ago was shooting a rabbit and hearing it squeal for it’s life while dragging its half shot off legs into a burrow. Made me sick and I never went again.

You want to shoot shit up? I don’t agree with it but at least be honest enough to say you think it’s fun and you get a kick out of it.

11 11 2009
Lee

You’re right Muz, there is unfortunately people out there who go out and simply “shoot shit” for the sake of it, whether it be anything that moves, signs, property, even dumb shit like leaving gates open, pulling down fences to gain access to a property and this invariably fucks it for the responsible ones.
Yes I like to shoot shit but there is a time and place for it and this generally consists of setting up targets at un-Godly distances in a paddock trying to out do each other on the long shots which do require a high level of skill and understanding of your equipment. It is also done on private property, with owners consent and under controlled conditions with the appropriate safety measures in place.
As far as loving the “power and thrill of taking life” I would disagree with that personally. I do enjoy dispatching rabbits, foxes, feral cats and really dont think twice about it but it does give me the satisfaction of knowing my equipment is finely tuned, my hand loaded ammunition has been meticulously developed and that I have gained the skill and discipline to put those things together and use them to their full potential. Not a blood lust at all.

5 11 2009
shazza

Bogans and pitbulls. The scariest human/pet combo imaginable.

10 11 2009
Vicky

shazza, unfortunately for all the other pitbull owners its morons like these that have given the breed a bad name. My pitbull is the sweetest, most obedient and well behaved dog. Sadly the strength/power of the breed also attracts the bogan demographic that buy the dogs and use it as a status symbol. Usually young males that have no idea.

Btw not all pit bull owners are bogans – I’m an educated professional.

5 11 2009
kriles76

Luv it!

5 11 2009
pinky has a brain

Lee- I agree with, non-native animals should be shot. And Roo’s too. I enjoy roo meat and have done since I was a child. I have to say though, I have shot an animal once, a rabbit, and I didn’t like how it made me feel. I didn’t get a rush, just a sense of horror that I had inflicted pain on an animal. You’ll probably scowl at me, say some demeaning remark about how us snobs blah blah, but in fact, I speak from your definition of ‘fact’. I have experienced shooting, I am educated on the subject, and I have an opinion. My opinion is that while I enjoy the fruits of a slaughter’s labour, I am not keen to do it myself, because when I tried, it did my poor middle class head in. So as long as the death of an animal is as humane as possible, I don’t have a problem with it.

Now, go ahead, insult me

5 11 2009
Lee

No insult Pinky, I do not try to insult people as such, simply reply with the same respect they have shown me as in our friend Cindy’s case.
I quite like and respect your post as it shows the commonsense behind it. It shows that you have a proper opinion based on personal experience.
You gave it a go, you didn’t like it that’s perfectly fine, at least you had a go.
I don’t get a rush from shooting things, if I can’t be sure of a 100% emphatic shot, the shot will not be taken.
I wont shoot something for the sake of shooting it and will not purposely shoot an animal to let it suffer. An emphatic shot is like flicking a light switch, not an ounce of pain will be felt.
However I do like shooting foxes and feral cats, everyone who hunts does!
Good post Pinky, well written.

6 11 2009
shazza

Lee,

you state above that opinions are based on fact. What a load of bullshit. Plenty of people have the opinion that god exists yet there are no facts to back this up. I think you became a little flustered in your response and stopped thinking rationally there for a minute.

6 11 2009
Lee

I think we should tread carefully on this one shazza, if of course we choose to discuss it further!
I think you have got opinion confused with belief.

7 11 2009
bendiagram

What does that even mean, shazza? Are you claiming that people don’t need facts to back up the idea that God exists, and that they in fact SHOULDN’T need facts to back it up? Of course they should, and so should any opinion.

7 11 2009
shazza

Bendiagram,

I am saying all people hold opinions. Many of them not based on facts. People jump to conclusions all the time and form opinions prior to being fully informed about topics. Bogans particularly, with their propensity for xenophobia. eg Fuck Off We’re Full stickers.
Just becuase you hold an opinion, such as racist ideology, doesn’t mean their is any factual basis to substantiate the belief.

7 11 2009
shazza

That should be there not their, too early……

5 11 2009
brad

what about fishing cindy how do you sit with that or fly swatting,ant stomping?

5 11 2009
berihebi

Man that is the scariest looking dog I have ever fucking seen. It looks way more Bogan than your jetski pic.

5 11 2009
brad

hyper perceptive is berihebi

5 11 2009
Lee

But its a greyhound, at least it looks like on going by the shape of its head and the way it holds its tail.

6 11 2009
UncaMarty

Actually it’s a whippet that was genetically engineered in the US (where else!) to have double the muscle mass of other doggies.

6 11 2009
Lee

Thanks for the clarification mate, they are similar looking dogs though and there is nothing to base comparison on in the photo.

17 12 2009
Richo

How ironic that they chose a whippet.

6 01 2010
hel

Actually it was not genetically engineered, it is a mutation that occurs in the genes naturally however I believe it is something that would be readily exploited, especially by bogans. Also, I have three American Staffy dogs…… I’m so ashamed!
http://www.canada.com/victoriatimescolonist/story.html?id=67f15c17-2717-4022-bb76-1b982456e793&k=94653

5 11 2009
boreycake

GO mindless missionless GTA with the cheats!

17 07 2016
Roger

Too right, didn’t realise I was a bogan until I read that. I’m glad this dickhead author cleared that up for me.

5 11 2009
the scarlet pimpernal

haha, idiots that justify war and killing with the “but it gave you freedom” spiel crack me the shit up. and correction…MEN, bogan and violent dog = bad combination. why do men love war so much?

6 11 2009
Brisbane.dangerous.single

This is site is very amusing but unfortunately as a smarty pant know-it-all when it comes to dogs. The dog you have pictured is actually a greyhound with a rare muscle defect that causes double muscling. It is unfortunate as the dog’s life span is shortened.

6 11 2009
Gorey

That doesn’t matter. The point is, it’s a scary-looking dog. I knew it was a greyhound (and what bogan doesn’t like greyhounds?), but it illustrates the point about scary dogs. Retarded or not, that’s one frightening-looking animal.

6 11 2009
shazza

Lee,
No confusion. Beliefs are mere opinions.

6 11 2009
warren

you forgot the gay bashers in Oxford St.

7 11 2009
Wharte Parwa

Whats wrong with Pitties huh? an killing stuff? and pitties killing stuff? Youse pricks dont even realise that the reason us guys have pitties and rotties and stuff is to keep you lefty poofters off our property. The property where I’ll kill whatevr the fuck i want want. I own it, and if any roo, rabbit, asian or poofter comes on it I’ll fuckin kill it. youse guys are dick’eds

7 11 2009
chris of south yarra

have fun this bushfire season wont you ? ill be sticking to my air con this summer shall be lovely …

8 11 2009
Lee

I think you have been had Chris! He got you good.

8 11 2009
brad

maybe chris you and fiona will get caught out on the melba highway after a day of cardy sipping in the yarra valley(BBB) burn baby burn

8 11 2009
Kondor Man

getting back to the point…..love the fact that bogans value the ownership of a psychotic dog breed over the safety of their kids (or generally their de facto’s kids, but they don’t count do they?). Next time you hear about a dog attacking an innocent person, just go through the following checklist:
1. Happens in crappy suburb
2. owner doesn’t have guts to own up
3. if owner is found, states ” jeez, he never bit me mate, gentle as a lamb!”
4. president of pit bull/ psycho dog association appears on tv trotting out “it ain’t the dog, it’s the owner” argument

29 11 2009
Rambo

My brother in law’s Bogan sticker on his 4WD or “Fourby”, ” Every fox I shoot saves the wildlife you love”. Don’t justify it, enjoy it unrepentantly. I have always hunted and I do it because I enjoy it. Everything about it. Guns, knives, camouflage clothing, blood, meat, killing. Be honest fellow hunters! Man is but an animal.

9 12 2009
R.Burgundy

Air Crash Investigations? Umm no…Bogan or not it’s a relatively intellectual show and far from ‘building fell over’, ‘car went boom’ simplicity; although give me Destroyed in Seconds any day:)

31 03 2010
Glass 'em all

DIS rocks, but I prefer Wildest police Chases and its ilk – sort of an International Bogans at play.

6 01 2010
bogankings

if only we could round up the bogans for an orderly disposal

23 01 2010
hel

Oh lord, every time I read one of your blogs, usually for the third or fourth time, I wish they were about three times longer. You are, without a doubt, brilliant in your delivery of rapier wit.

14 07 2010
TheMon

Has that dog been taking its owners steroids??

31 07 2010
bob

excuse my pedanticism but “Funniest Home Videos” is the actual name of the show, not a colloquialism.

12 04 2011
Idalee

TYVM you’ve slodve all my problems

27 08 2012
Coz

who is the bogan that wrote this article??? calling young men and women who choose to join the army ‘Bogans’…..the writer of the article needs to grow a brain!!! Saying (staffies) are dangerous dogs is such a general comment……are you referring to American or English Staffies? people choose to cross breed like the dog in this picture…it is not an American or English Staffy!! I have been a vet for over 20 yrs and have never had a problem with any breed of Staffy…..I have been bitten by a Labrador, German Shepard, Jack Russell and Chihuahua….are they dangerous breeds?…..educate yourself before making these false comments!!

17 07 2016
Roger

Totally agree, I have an Amstaf and she is the most beautiful thing, never had a problem with being aggressive in 12 years. Prior I had a blue cattle dog and a before that a labrador, they were both a lot more dangerous then my Amstaf. The blue cattle dog attacked everything.

10 02 2013
Willieee

I don’t see the reason for using that dog as the photo? That dog was like that from genetic defect and is a Wippet or similar breed :/ Doesn’t have anything to do with what ever this is…

The photo is one of the greatest things in the world, and I had waited patiently for a half-relevant excuse to use it. That is the reason! TBL

24 11 2013
edgie

One thing, that dog is a whippet I think. Not quite as bogan as the mentioned breeds, and a poor imitation of it’s bigger cousin from the dog tracks

9 09 2016
viigaleatua

yes you just explained what a australian is and white dont act like use aint bogans? for fuksake u cunts came in chains right? use convicts rights use are inbreds from fucking england british euro shit soooo only people in australia that are not bogans are the arabs ‘ asians pacific islanders ‘indians cheers bogan local people enjoy your meat pie & sport religion hahahahaha u bogan fuck$!!

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