#13 – Misspelling Their Kids’ Names

29 10 2009

Like much of the western world, the bogan is on a constant quest for self-actualisation. However, its quest to be unique tends to revolve around a level of cultural conformity that borders on the criminal. And nowhere is this more obvious than when they bless their offspring with their names.

Little JaxonNaming a child is a permanent thing, or should be, and the bogan parent takes care to ensure that their own pursuit of individualism is reflected in their young. There is no better way to achieve this, thinks the new parent, than to give the baby a ‘unique’ name. This is where the process falls down. Rather than actually bestowing their newborn with a genuinely one-of-a-kind name – or at least an uncommon one – they merely take a common one and misspell it. Bogans love song remixes, because it’s usually just the original song with more bells and whistles, tempo, and gimmicky bleeps. Their love of the remix is manifested when they get the chance to name a child. Ever met a Hayleigh? A Braydon? A Jorja? A Kayleb? Probably many, because these kids will be spelling out their names to all and sundry for the next 80 years.

How about a Jaxon? Or a Jacksen? Or even a Jakxsen? A recent, and related, trend in bogan names is to simply replace a first name with a surname. Then misspell it. But it doesn’t end there – the aspirational bogan identifies the opportunity to finally get a Mercedes under their roof. By calling their child Mercedes. Or Chanel, or Armani. The bogan believes that conferring such a name on their child will ensure future prosperity for both child and parent, and as a result feels no obligation to put effort into properly raising the child once it is born.

Of course, the end result of all this creativity is that instead of five Adams in a class attempting to distinguish themselves from each other, there are now Riley, Reilly, Rhylee, Rhylie, Rylee, Ryley and Rylie getting into stoushes over whose Dad has the biggest flat screen/best surround sound system. The bogan parent has consigned their remixed child to being a B-side on the vinyl of life.

*Blog Note*

We’ve decided, by the response this is getting, to set up a whole page dedicated to this very topic! If you have ideas/suggested bogan baby names, we can have a ready database for confused pre-natals! Check out the new page!

Caution: The next person to recount “Le-a” or “Abcde” will be shot.


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362 responses

5 02 2010
TheBest

I know of a child who is destined to have possibly the worst name of all time. Pronounced Ab-see-dee, it is spelt by the genius of a pure bred bogan….abcde. Truth.

19 03 2010
Steve

Abcde? I can only imagine that would be pronounced similar to “obesity”.

14 07 2010
phillyboul

Apparently we know the same people.

14 07 2010
hel

That really is so offensive I cannot get my mind around the sheer stupidity of the parents, or maybe I just don’t want to.

20 05 2012
Cait

There’s an Ebony Dicks where I live.

15 07 2010
Mandi

I went to school with a boguette called Kristal Jelley, Sadly I am not making it up. If you laughed she threatened to “smash yer f****ng c**t face in”. I think crystal must have been what her parents were on when they named her. Unfortunately for her our surnames were called before our first names at role call.

21 11 2010
Whistling Nixie

In my primary school in New Zealand, there was a girl named Quinella.

30 11 2010
Rohn

Mandy/i,
There but for the grace of Gawd go u.

1 02 2012
des

you weren’t listening at school ; it’s roll call – role is something else you might need to look up

11 07 2013
Em

hahaha, I can’t stop laughing!

4 10 2010
Silverback

NO!
This is even better than the bogan boy Dwayne Pipe.
Urban Myth or not, I like you and your post a lot.

14 01 2015
Brian Murray

I suppose Dwayne Pipe is no worse than Wayne Kerr.

22 10 2010
Spike Pedestal

I came across someone whose name was pronounced ‘Kaydasha’ but was spelt ‘K-a’….yup, with a ‘dash’

3 01 2011
Steph

There was a girl in my sister’s class… The teachers, parent helpers, fellow students called her Leah. It was spelt Le-ah. One day her parents stormed up to the office demanding the school NOT call their daughter Leah! It’s ledashah, thank you!

12 07 2011
Tash

I’ve heard some of this story before, I tell it every time a conversation about weird names comes up

14 11 2011
Tallulah

Wow – that really is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. And I thought Jazmyne was bad!

16 01 2012
ChrisPhillips

Met a massive bogan the other day and is son’s name was Tazer.

12 05 2013
Carmine

You know what, I actually like that name pronunciation lol but of course the spelling is stupid. Maybe Abesede, Abecede… kind of sounds like like absence, obesity, obscene so I guess there could be some cruel nick names but I like the name as a work in progress maybe.
I assure you I am not a bogan… I hope not…

5 02 2010
Jen in Oz

Geez, at the rate we’re going on this list, the names Abcde and La-a are almost as common as John and … um… whatever a common non-bogan girl’s name is!
On the other hand, I read today a post on a list I’m on celebrating the birth of a grandchild to be named “Cazna” which is Anzac backwards. And she wasn’t even born on Anzac day!

14 07 2010
phillyboul

WTF is a aznac and WTF is a bogan???

11 01 2012
harriet

r u even australian?

9 05 2013
12 05 2013
Carmine

These are Australian terms.

ANZAC = The Australian and New Zealand Army Corps
Bogan = if you are American you would know them as maybe hillbillies, red necks, trailer trash etc. People of lower class or unsophisticated people.

12 05 2013
Carmine

Another name I like the sound of. Maybe a little strange given its intended relation to ANZAC. But nice enough name without that association.
I had an Indonesian friend who while studying in Australia had her daughter and named her a mix of Australia and Indonesia: Austraesia, or something like that. It was so hard to pronounce I gave up trying to remember it and just nicknamed her Oz lol. But she wanted to give her a piece of where she was born and her family home. I was thinking she should have just given her a middle name of Adelaide or something. But that is what she liked. Good luck to the child trying to explain that one.

25 02 2010
ant

I taught skiing in the US until recently, and if you got kids there was always a wonderful range of name spellings. If you worked at a resort that made you do a paper list of who you had, the kids with the silliest names would watch you writing like hawks, to make sure you spelled their names right.

I would tell them that they’d be 85 years old, lying in hospital, and still telling people how to spell their names. And they will.

25 02 2010
Gayle

Not sure if this name is really bogan or not, but clearly people either dont sound things out or ask themselves does it sound like ‘somethig else’ or ‘part of something else’ when thinking of naming the crumb cruncher… ‘Tahlia’ (not sure of spelling.)
All I can think of when I hear this name is genitalia. I said this to an aquaintance once when she told me the name of her child. She reacted with an OMG! (but laughed) as it had never occured to her. Maybe Im just warped . I have a friend called Ina and I call her Vadge….

6 01 2011
Bruce

Yep – I was banging on last year about bogan names out in the ‘burbs to my mate, and mentioned Tahlia as an example… forgetting his niece was thusly named. Oopsy!

1 03 2010
Tiffany

the worst name i have ever seen was a friend of mines daughter

“Suphra-jhette”

aka sufferegette

30 11 2010
Rohn

Long may she suffer

3 03 2010
Lisa

My favourite is Psymon. As in “Psymon says”. London to a brick if you asked his mum to spell psychologist she’d struggle.

4 10 2010
Silverback

NEVER!
Psymon?
Who do I have to screw around here to get me an italics button?

4 10 2010
Jen

In the Teen Titans comic book there’s a villain called Psymon. He wears a pink or purple long dress, and the top half of his head is clear to show his brain. (I can’t recall but I’m pretty sure he has some sort of psychic powers, or a super-brain or somesuch.) If you do a search on google, you can almost certainly find a picture of him.

11 03 2010
mim

haha i love this. the one i hate is “taylah”

15 03 2010
courtney

how would you pronounce the name “xtyl”?. i was handed a prescription
recently and this was the name of the poor child on the script. when i
called out the childs name i mistakenly pronounced it “x-tee-youl” ???
i was rather rudely corrected by bogan mother that it was pronounced “CRYSTAL”. She went on to say that “the x is pronounced like
christmas, as in x-mas, dont you know nothing!!” and replied with a “nice…”

12 09 2010
Mick

No! No no no no no NO!

30 11 2010
Rohn

I believe the ‘bogan recieved pronunciation’ (brp) of ‘nothing’ is nuffin , i.e. ‘doan u no nuffin’.

10 07 2013
Robyn Lesley Blackwell

I’ve seen some funny once that tops the cake

20 03 2010
BB

Jade Goody’s mum is called … Jackeiy

26 03 2010
Dave

Bogans are taking all this to a new level. Not only misspelling names but creating new names – Mikaylee for instance. But just you wait. Someone will then morph this wretched concoction into Mikay-Lea, Mykayli or M’kayleah.

26 03 2010
11 05 2010
Anne

As a teacher this is the thing that bugs me most about bogans. Coincidently I currently teach a Jorja, Hayleigh, Kayleb and a Braydon. Also Jordann, Blaine and Jennaye.
I find that bogans have a real yen for the ‘ay’ sound:
Braydon, Hayden, Jayden, Kayden, Kade, Wayde, Layla, Kayla, Makayla, Taylah, Hayley, Jennaye etc etc.
Last year I taught a girl named Rachelle who pronounced it ‘Racial’. That was nice but I think the best was still Chjahniqware (Sha-nee-kwa) from a few years back. Took me ages to write that girl’s name on the board…

12 07 2011
Tash

Hayden, Layla and Hayley really aren’t that strange. In fact I’d go so far as to say they’re pretty normal. Chjahniqware is just special – I feel sorry for doctors and nurses and pharmacists in future years…

5 09 2011
Jacqui

Yeah, and Kayla, Wade and Jayden are pretty normal names too I would’ve thought – hardly bogan…

14 02 2014
franz chong

Very regular names if you ask me.The worst and most unusual dare I say this I can think of was one of my cousins changing her middle name to Chiquita like the name of the Banana.What a silly thing to do.

23 05 2010
mindybeaver

Anne I feel your pain, also a teacher! Over the years I’ve encounted sisters Princess and Precious, Axel, and Axl, and even Axyl! Kyl, no e, Jaymz, Shenay, Shenae, Shenaea, Shannel, Shaye, Shae, Shai, Talaragh, Khrysstian, Janai, Jenaya. Dharneyie (Pronounced Dar-nay) Kygen (a blend of parent’s name Kylie and Glen), Brock Holden Diesel, and about a thousand spellings of Taylor, Mikaela, Amy and Ashley…

And yet many of the these children and parents poke fun at the names of students from other cultures!

11 01 2012
Trashy Media

Quelle horreur !!!

11 06 2010
Titus

What about Tylenol, for all those pill-popping, pharmaceutically challenged bogans out there. Cialis would make a nice girls name too! Or Gee-eskay (GlaxoSmithKline). You could probably get sponsorship from large multi-corporates to name your firstborn after their company name or brands.

Am I starting another nasty trend here?

8 07 2010
lyn

we always have a giggle at a female friend whose name is Flavia.

8 07 2010
Beeb

(Flavia)
My first thought was “ancient Roman” and sure enough … http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flavia

18 07 2010
Dave
2 08 2010
big jamie

My sister was at her mothers group recently and she introduced her son Jasper to a bogan mother. Said bogan informed my sister that she had a nephew called Jasper and asked my sister if she too spelt it J-A-Z-P-U-H. ( Hey I know a persian name for a half brit half mick child dosent make sense but at least my sister spelt it right )

3 08 2010
Jen

Hey, at least they didn’t call their child “Renesmee”…

3 08 2010
Beeb

Yeah, I have mentioned this absolute shocker previously.
When I first saw this in the book (yes I read it :/) I groaned audibly.
Bella, I could easily believe but Edward ?! He actually stood for it ? I didn’t know they had Bogans at the turn of the last century and for someone who apparently exuded class, elegance and education at every turn … I just found it really hard to believe he would even consider it, let alone allow it …

13 08 2010
18 08 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

How in Christ’s name did he manage to accumulate more than 300 FB friends?

7 11 2010
No.. NO!!

Holy. Jebus. On. A. F*cking. Riverboat.

Surely thats a joke. Surely they did not really name their kid that.

But then again, if its real… at least with the “kah” you know its allegedly female.

22 03 2011
Anonymous

Sam Barbeler is SUCH a shocking name, I know!

18 08 2010
JimC

I just left my job cleaning a call centre. About 64 desks in one hit.

If nothing else, leving it saves me having to look at photos of their ugly, bogan kids every fucking day; with their gelled faux-hawks, popped collars and boguetastic names like ‘Ashton’, ‘Mickaylah” and ‘Colby-Jye’.

24 08 2010
des

strippers and miners of the future.

or perhaps Prime Ministers?

who am I to judge

24 08 2010
des

Oh, and “Brutus” is a PB in my books. good for your pit-bull, bad for your son. He will have to live up to that name now, presumably by glassing cunts. Hopefully not me.

3 09 2010
AlyssaKT

I have one for you… your ‘laugh while you cringe’ moment for the morning…

Courtknee

Just seen on a friend’s Facebook… Augh!!!

8 09 2010
Me

Other names to add to your list
Jyson & Bryelle

8 09 2010
JimC

I saw ‘Ayva’ the other day.

8 09 2010
Beeb

“Ayva” means “quince” in Turkish (pronounced “Eye – Vah”).
Were they Turks ? If celebs can call their kids “Apple” and “Peaches”, I guess Turks can call their child “Quince” !
Orwere they devoid of any such reason and just destroying “Ava” for the sake of being , uh, speshul ? (Not to mention youneek ?)

9 09 2010
mothersmilk

This is so hilarious! I am really enjoying reading through the posts AND I have one to add..’Cyennah’! LOL aka Sienna

6 04 2016
Proudmommy

I happen to think that is a beautiful way to spell her name. Oh and btw, keep my childs name out your mouth! From Cyennah’s mom!

8 09 2010
Beeb

I knew it ! I just knew it !
“Dannii”Minogue is actually a plain old Danielle, born of normal, sensible parents.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dannii_Minogue
Why would she want to do that ?!

However, she seems to have come to her senses – her own child is called Ethan Edward.

12 09 2010
Beeb

Keiran Perkin’s wife’s name is SYMANTHA.
Further proof that this is not a recent phenomenon and the seeds of boganism were about ~ 40 years ago.
(That is, of course, unless she has “done a Daaannniiii Minogue” on “Samantha”)

28 09 2010
Nate

I’ve just discovered this abomination at: http://www.makeeshabyl.com.au/

“I have a wonderful, full life, with a fab-o hubby, 4 delightful children (yes I did have them young!) Tiarne 10, Elijah 8, Malakai 6 (aka Mali) and Janaya 4 (aka Jaye).

1 10 2010
harris28

Here’s another winner…. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2542276/ Sydney Cymfenee Orchestra? No, it doesn’t really work.

15 01 2011
Mim

I love that the character this child played was, in stark contrast, named “Claire Davis”.

22 10 2010
Spike Pedestal

I did once read of a bloke in England who’s daughters were called Faith, Hope, Charity……..and Sharon.

22 10 2010
Beeb

I loved a British book as a child that had fictional triplets in it called
April, May and June !

23 01 2011
Louise

Me too!! The Jill books!!

23 01 2011
beeb

YES ! And their surname was Chollysawcutt or something and their father was a Colonel or something ? I loved those books ! (Still have them ! :/)

10 11 2010
Mikey

When we went through IVF we were talking to our doc about baby names. We asked her what the worst name she’d ever heard a client give a child.

“Kylie”.

What? we said. How?

“Every second letter was the same and silent”.

Yes.

It was “Kkyylliiee”

That sounds like Dani – arm outstretched and kneeling on a cliff edge – in the immediacy of her beloved sis taking a wrong turn during the bush walk in order to look for a private place where she could toot.

12 11 2010
Mark

a delightfully frumpy heavily tattooed bogue mum named her son, in my son’s class “sterlyng”. I want to be unique just like everyone else. What a sterling idea, maybe got inspiration from her pack of smokes?

20 11 2010
pjc

I used to work at a childrens’ hospital, we called them Herald-Sun names. My favourite was when I went to the waiting room to call in Javier, I pronounced it “Havi-air” as you would in spanish, bogue mum from beyond the ring road responded “It’s said JAY-VIA, can’t you read!”

10 01 2011
MissT

When we were thinking of names for my son, my husband (who IS Spanish) suggested Javier. I loved then name, but was put off by the fact that bogans would pronounce it JAY-VIA. We went with something else.

10 01 2011
Fatso

I also know of a kid named Sean whose bogan mother insisted it was pronouned “Seen”

21 11 2010
brad

I hope you didnt apply the same condescending attitude when it came to the childs care?

25 11 2010
alissa

this is fabulous.awesome blog.
how about Zjhahnai??
or kiarna-bray and shari-lee. sisters of course.

Diammond Sparckle Zedekeyah Lilly Ann Martin, Brandi Shyla Molly Robyn, Indego Raindrop Sapphire. yes these are 3 sisters too. and theres 5 more kids in the family. they are from my home town. (the 2 oldest are samantha and stephanie)

Shaniqua

ive worked in childcare theres plenty more i just cant remember them all.

30 11 2010
Sull

I know a “Craigette”. Seriously.

The daughter of Craig and Annette.

8 12 2010
beeb

CHEYNE.
Saw it in the paper; looked about 20 -ish.

16 12 2010
Gib

I’ve have the inverse of this… A traditional name – pronounced incorrectly or rather, Boganised.

Name: Yvonne
Pronounced: Wiv-on-ie

When explained to said boganista the correct pronunciation, shoulder’s were shrugged and declaired that Wiv-on-ie sounds much better and more unique.

16 12 2010
AlyssaKT

where’d the W come from? haha

16 12 2010
p'bee

it should really be why-von-ee or yi-von-ee shouldn’t it?

6 03 2011
Whistling Nixie

Although it might give rise to jokes consisting of changing it to “Wiv-n-HO”, à la Wivenhoe Dam.

23 12 2010
David

my step sister and her husband named their child broden bullet so they could call him bro bullet

5 01 2011
Sean

Pam and Lee…not so bad? Think again…they were fraternal twins and their surname was Flett. Corryong primary school, many moons ago. Jesus.

6 01 2011
AO

I went to school with twins Leif and Trei. We said Leaf and Tree, they actual pronounciation was Lafe and Tray (they were european, but still)

Lots of laughs were had

6 01 2011
BOMBUS

My brother’s bro-in-law used to date a bogan chick who had a middle name of “Jowayne” which was a combination of the Mother’s and Father’s names… and ALL the kids had this same middle name. She even took a jar of sand back for her Dad when she accompnaied her bf’s family on a trip over east from Perth, so he could have a momento from a ‘far away land’. How exotic…

23 01 2011
Jo

Dyllion – poor kid

23 01 2011
Asha

Grant Hacket and “Candace Alley” called their twins Charlize and Jagger. O. M. G.

5 02 2011
Kez

I know of a woman whose baby son is called Keontei, pronounced Key-on-tay.

Plus I’ve heard of a Mykyla and Kyly.

It seems bogans either want lots of vowels or they want none at all.

Oh and how about this one……Jethro Pegasus (Pegasus being the boy’s middle name).
Lucky for this kid his parents didn’t give him Pegasus as his first name.

8 02 2011
Josie

I’m a nurse – I immunise heaps of bubs, mostly in country Queensland, so heaps of chav names all the time. The best one I’ve had is… Klamydia. Yep pronounced like the disease Chylamydia. WTF.

22 02 2011
Bronwyn

A-A. Pronounced “A-dash-A”

Need I say more…

6 03 2011
Jaimie

I used to work in the classies at the Herald Sun so we got every boguetastic little snowflake coming through our call centre every day. On one memorable day we had a Petrol, a Diesel and two Holdens in the paper. There was a short period where it was apparently fashionable to give your son “Danger” as an actual middle name. There was also a few weeks where every second little girl was named some variation of “Desire” (Deesyah, Deezyre, Dezya etc). Celebrity names cropped up regularly, especially recently deceased celebs – we had several Tupacs, a few Aaliyahs, and far too many Brocks.
Worst (and consequently BEST) birth notice I ever took (and had to spell back to the customer without gagging or laughing) was for the unfortunately named “Tuhleeshah-Jiz Areole” whose sibling were named “Jaxxssonn”, “Pryncess”, “Daitoner”, Burley” and “Wally.” Not sure how little Wal lucked out there.

12 07 2011
Tash

LMAOROFL how did you keep a straight face? That one’s a classic!

10 03 2011
Jessi

My mum is a teacher and came across a classic

Obiwan.

11 03 2011
JimC

But that’s almost cool.

16 03 2011
Mike from Bribie

Well they are entitled to make up names because they sure as hell can’t pronounce normal names anyway. Bogans (mulleted and Torana’d) next door in Morayfield had a lovely young daughter “Melissa” who was referred to as “Mouser”.

25 03 2011
beeb

I just saw, on FB, “Tillyy Elizabethh”.
Surely its a joke ?

16 04 2011
ELF

A friend worked in a hospital and was told of a young girl who was brought in. The anaesthetist looked at the spelling of the child’s name and then to the parents who replied “It is Sh-thaid” but they had spelt it “Shithead”!

28 09 2011
Eve

I have heard of this child, my cousin used to teach her dancing. She has sisters Abcde and L-a. How does someone called Shithead go anywhere in life? Poor kids!

3 10 2012
MissTaken

Unless there is more than one little Shithead running around out there, a colleague (we’re teachers) told me about this poor kid a couple of years ago when she came back from a professional development day. I have also taught a Preshous and a Wiki.

21 04 2011
Rhiannon C

A friend of a friend wanted a normal sounding name with an “unusal” spelling so went with Blake (normal enough if a little bogan) and really amped up the boganism by spelling in Blaec (I would call him Blahhk on spelling alone)

9 05 2011
groovergreen

Speaking of regular names with un-yewshal spellings, remember the terrible Jaidyn Leskie case of the late 1990s? Mother was Bilynda (formerly Belinda), auntie was Kadee (ex-Katie), sister was Breehanna (perhaps a mishearing and consequent bastardisation of Rhiannon). Asked how she had come to name her son Jaidyn, Bilynda said “Opprah”.
As in — she took it from a character in an opera?
“No, like in the Opprah Winfrey show.”
At the time we all sniggered at these people and their atrocious names, but this was such a tragic case and I hope poor little Jaidyn rests in peace. I used to collect terrible bogan names from the Herald Sun birth notices and I observed a huge fall-off in the incidence of Jaidyn/Jayden/Ja’aiydinn etc after this. But of course, other ghastly prefixtural excrescences soon rose to take its place — Brayden, Hayden, Aydan, Shaedyn … What will become of these boys?

11 05 2011
Hayley

Urgh, as a HAYLEY spelled HAYLEY. This drives me NUTS. My parents went with the normal route and spelled it correctly, so I wouldn’t have to EVER spell out my name to people. But because of idiots naming their kids Haley (Where’s the HAY sound come from?!) Haylee, Hayleigh etc. I’m forever getting my name misspelled unless I spell it out for them.

12 05 2011
AlyssaKT

Haha Hayley
“idiots naming their kids Haley (Where’s the HAY sound come from?!)”

I’m always being called “Alisha/Alicia” when people see my name. Where do they get the SH sound from?!!

People can’t spell. People can’t read. People think stupid names are brilliant. It’s the end of the world as we knew it!

23 05 2011
SMC

I know a brother and sister Xymantha and Jayk, also two sisters named Canterbury and Mercedes. Come on, people.

4 06 2011
S_E

I thought I’d have a look at the Bogan Baby Names list and see if my brother’s kid’s name is on it….then read this, where it seems to be a repeat offender. The kid’s name is Jaxon (or Jaxson, I don’t know), and the father is most definitely a bogan. Poor kid.

5 06 2011
Katie

Wasn’t the original bogan baby name “Epponnee-Rae”?

20 08 2011
CT

Went to school with a girl who’s name was “Sky Soo Bleue” pronounced Sky So Blue, the surname is French but still!

3 09 2011
SMC

Just came across another one… Sidnee-May. Ick.

5 09 2011
SMC

And another! Was just served at the newsagent by ‘Reannen’

15 09 2011
Jerry.

Knew a chap Lear by name whose parents named King. King Lear named his daughter Shanda – Gods truth.

10 10 2011
SMC

Allyce and Natellie – came across both today

11 10 2011
MRR

I have met a Jessecia, and I know of a Celica

17 11 2011
Nick

Actually Mercedes was Karl Benz’s daughter and he named the Car after her! But with so many driving around nowadays, it surely is a questionable choice.

14 02 2014
franz chong

Way before the car Lexus even existed The Name Alexis Think of the Character from Dynasty as an example was around.A bit hard to explain too especially if you have to tell people I drive a Lexus Pardon the Pun.

21 11 2011
Emma Magenta

There are at least 1 million Bellas, Cooper’s, Finns and Cormacks living on Clovelly Rd alone in Sydney… There is an infestation of Finns at every park and Coopers being little brats to all the other kids called Anne, Mary and John.

4 01 2012
Sally

Sisters Journee and Deztinee go to the school I teach at. Hahaha

8 01 2012
Monica

There were two sets of twins when i was at school (from 2 different families) one set was Melody and Harmony, the other was Mona and Lisa.
Why would you do that to them???

28 01 2012
Somethink

Know a family – surname Hall. Names their son Leith. Lethal. Pretty Cool
They also say “Somethink & Nothink” replacing the G with a K

28 01 2012
Nothink

one family named the 2 daughters “Blessings” & the next daughter “More Blessings”

18 02 2012
David

My favourite is “Chlorene”, who called herself “Chloe” because she got sick of being asked whether she worked in a pool shop… Lovely girl – shit parents.

17 03 2012
boganvillea

Front page of today’s paper: Rhaine, Carmalee, Zandyn, Ethan, Brodie, Benji, Leaha, Taytum and Donte.

All in one article. I kid you not.

21 04 2012
My-name-is-neither-ethan-nor-elijah-but-i-must-protest

Ethan is NOT a bogan name, and neither is Elijah. These names pass muster in non-bogan society. Admittedly overused since the rising star of actors Hawke and Woods, but certainly not bogan in any way, shape or form. When spelled correctly, Ethan is Ancient Hebrew for “firm and long lived”, whilst Elijah is Hebrew for “The One God is my God….” I just can not grasp the bogan nature of such wonderful names.

23 04 2012
djrtmum

I went to school in the 70’s with a Pam Olive Gold…. Guess what we sang…

Those not old enough, it was an advert

28 04 2012
Squeepish

Ohh my mum is a teacher in Sydney and she has come across..

Leif, Christill, Banka (Bianca), anell (pronouced ahh-nill) and my personal favourite.. Zodiac..

What were these parents thinking??

Where as my closest friend recently started seeing a man with 4 kids.. and their names are
Feenix Jaymes (phoenix)
Harlotte kristee (yes, like charlotte without the C)
and
Passion Flayme

Apparently the father is going through the process of changing their names.. as the mother named them (and she was a pretty bad bogan junkie type)

Feenix is going to be Phillip
Harlotte is going to be Charlotte
and
Passion is going to be Lauren

Lucky the oldest is Harlotte and she is 4.. Feenix is 2 and Passion has only recently been born.

6 01 2013
Elli

Hah! If she’d checked the dictionary she might have realised what she was setting Harlotte up for o.O
Leif however isn’t a bogan name. Just European.

4 05 2012
JamesK

Just came across a new one:

Tahmayrah.

What. The. Fuck?

18 05 2012
veronica

my cousins name is mysty waters !!!!

8 06 2012
Mumof1

I know of a mother who called her daughter Daryon, because she heard it in a movie. They also have a kid called Monique, not a bad name, but I think with our Aussie accents, when they say it they don’t emphasize the o, so it sounds like they are saying ‘my neck’. I also know of a baby girl called Fox, tell me she won’t grow up to be a stripper. Another mother at our kinder have boy/Girl twins called Sommer and Cruz, sounds as though she got those names from New Idea or Womens Day. I also know of a family of five kids and all of their names are what I refer to as fake names, Myah, Logan (from the x men movies) Lacy, Hunter and Xavier. It is funny to me that everyone tries so hard to be different that they all end up with the same crappy names as every other bogan, that their kids are stuck with for life. I had a friend when I was younger called Lashae, who was so frustrated with having to spell and even repeat her name to people that she vowed to never give her child an unusual name, Today she has three boys named, William, Samual and Edward. A name says a lot about a person and where they’ve come from. You would’nt want a lawyer or a doctor called Dahkota or Jaxson, wouldn’t take them seriously, but You would take advice from a Sarah or a David. It’s all in the name people so don’t ruin your kids life by giving them a moronic name.

10 02 2014
Harapeko

We have a Logan, but we didn’t take it from X-Men. It’s from my husband’s grandma’s maiden name. Logan is an old Gaelic name (my husband is Canadian of Irish ancestry, Nan Logan was from Ireland). I don’t know why you call it a ‘fake name’.
Cruz and Xavier are Spanish names, so I don’t think they belong to bogan or fake names (unless you mean their parents are not Spanish descendants), neither does Lacy and Hunter, they are perfectly good names.

12 07 2012
verge

I know someone who has a baby called Danger.

Recently found out that the actress Rebel Wilson has siblings named Liberty, Ryot and Annachi…

6 08 2012
Jelly

I know sisters called Jayliah and Tashaana …
*palm*

5 08 2012
growlingrassfrog

You don’t need a stupid name to have it misspelled (or is that “misspelt?). To keep it simple I order pizzas or whatever with my first name – Colin. In 90% of cases it is spelled “Collin”. I don’t know why. I’ve given up correcting these ill-educated retards. In retaliation I’m considering spelling Bogan as “Boggan”. It won’t help I know, but apart from wearing a t-shirt embazoned with my name correctly spelled, what can I do? Any advice?

10 08 2012
Alyssa KT

Haha – reminds me of Kim Gyngell’s character “Col’n Carpenter”

Why do people read my name and give it a SH sound even though there is no CI or SH in my name?

People are stoopid. Stop questioning why 😉

31 08 2012
Elle

My middle school was filled with truly ghetto names. Like:
LaCharmaine (I hope that was a nightmare)
Lakirah
Jaliyah
Kala
Diamonique (a supposedly clever play on diamond and monique, pronounced domonique)
Shanetta
Winsdy
Nice
Lahope
Khanstance
And my personal fave: Loveliana

26 09 2012
Tamara

I like this recent one: Rubi

26 10 2012
Chezza

Ok here’s my few I’ve come across
Bourbundy- yep u guessed it old love was smashed on a cocktail of bourbon & bundy rum the night she got up the duff.
Shith-éad
Cougar
And here’s my favourite misplelt name of alllll time
Kviiilin for caitlin
K Viii =8 roman numerals + in
Lol

20 11 2012
No Joke

I recently met a L-A.

Pronounced Le-dash-a

No joke.

21 11 2012
minirett

How about Skii? Pronounced ‘Sky’, but that bogan mother had the brilliant thought of spelling it differently so her little girl ‘stood out’. Well, she got her wish. Poor Skii now has the embarrassment of not only continually spelling her name, but correcting people who pronounce it as how it is spelt i.e. we’re going skiing. Bloody bogans!

17 12 2012
laura

I know a girl who named her daughter “Dayzie”…because its “original”…I wanted to slap her.

14 01 2013
Alicia

Symantha – the Y says everything

1 03 2013
Emma

I teach a girl called Daytona! When I first met her she said, ‘guess what my dad’s picking me up, he likes car races!’
Hmmm you don’t say??

23 03 2013
David L.

Not just bogans. I knew an extremely posh Englishwoman, whose parents had named her Frisbee (as in the round plastic object) Candida (as in the fungal disease) Cheyenne. The stupidity of parents is not confined to Australians with a taste in dodgy shirts and worse cars.

4 04 2013
Alyssa KT

We call that a Cashed Up Chav. It’s still a Bogan.

8 05 2013
NaomiS

I work in property…recently i had a transfer to a “Kay-T”, which for some unknown reason was pronounced “kite”- go figure??

25 05 2013
Mick

Very sad case a few years ago, 20-something single mother abandoned by her partner Craig had a daughter called Caibe pronounced “kay bee” which was a contraction of “Craig’s baby”. Sounds like some sort of mollusc species. Fresh Caibe at the wharf today.

2 06 2013
Jibs

I know of a K-trina (yes, it’s a bastardization of Katrina). Very pleased to see Tahli on the bogan name list, too as I knew an unfortunate with said moniker. When I asked the parent responsible, his justification? “I wanted something different”. Of course you did…
I’m also a huge fan of the place names – Indianna, Africa, Chad, Montana, Savannah, Madison (also a dance) etc
But, the best one I have seen recently is Eleecha (pronounced Elisha, obviously!) and heaven help you if you get the spelling wrong.

7 07 2013
Andy

I actually do know a guy who named his dog Abcde as a joke, but no people.

30 12 2013
Trabant

I am a Mark. There is a guy at a place in town called Mahrck….

2 02 2014
Ashley

Something very sad is that names these people choose for their child’s lifetime are too silly for me to use as a temporary character name in a game.

18 02 2014
doomygloomy

Even worse, names that sound bad… 4year girl from Nambour Queensland, Terra Bills. Go on, say it slowly. it’s the stuff of urban legend, but unfortunately it’s real.

16 07 2014
jd

I’m surprised nobody has named their child ‘Kar-ian’ (KarDASHian)!

16 07 2014
jd

I know of twins named Andrew and Peter Ness…….
A. Ness and P. Ness

12 10 2014
olddavey

Ebola, now that’s got a certain ring to it.
or maybe Evola to be on the safe side.

18 03 2015
Daniel

What a load of crap its laughable that people who claim to be smart can actually write this kind of verbal diahrea I don’t think a name is chosen by parents as a special thing some make some weird choices and I agree that you need to consider the ramifications a name like Apple or North or Amani Or Mercedes might have but choosing 1 particular spelling of a name over another is not going to affect a child’s life. Labelling people bogans because they have a preference for one spelling of a name over another is just showing your own insecurities

7 04 2015
JML

We personally know children with the following (bogan) names:
Bilbo and Pria: brother and sister
Carian (pronounced as carrion- true!)
Taylah, Breehanna and Tianha (siblings)
Moby (male)
Tyler-Joe (male)
Bobbi-Lea (female)
Jayquinn, Kinley and Zaeland (siblings)
and a child recently met but not known ….. Zabadoo

7 04 2016
WayTooFast

I just met a Brhiannon.

Also, a friend’s cousins are called (boys) Brock, Jett, and Levi, and their sister is Capri.

Oh, and Daniel? Studies show what you name your child can affect their life to a large degree. Here’s a random selection of articles on the subject, and there’s a whole chapter on it in Freakonomics.

http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog/index.php/2007/07/02/name-discrimination-how-it-affects-job-and-career-choices-life-status-overall-success/

http://www.businessinsider.com.au/choosing-a-successful-name-for-your-baby-2012-1?op=1?r=US&IR=T#49-of-teachers-make-assumptions-about-children-based-on-their-name-1

http://www.livescience.com/6569-good-bad-baby-names-long-lasting-effects.html

http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/why-your-name-matters

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