#235 – WAGs

5 07 2011

At this point, it barely requires mentioning that the bogan lusts for celebrity and its trappings with a fervour that would shame the randiest 13 year-old bogan upon the discovery of RedTube. Of course, the bogan is more than happy to live vicariously through those who can achieve fame in their place and sportspeople are among the most prominent of these. They are often local, and are willing to engage in maxtreme behaviour in public which the bogan can be outraged at, then forgive. There is, however, a celebrity that appeals even more greatly to the bogan than the footballer or cricketer. Their girlfriend.

By their early twenties, even the most self-deluded male bogan has reached the conclusion that it is not destined for a lifetime of sporting glory and fawning groupies, instead spending their time at the local footy club drinking Mexican beer and discussing how awesome it would be for all seven of them to shag one chick.

The femme-bogue, however, has an alternative. One she can cling to for at least another decade. One that is more appealing, as it requires little more effort than the willingness to endure multiple penetrations from seven smashed athletes. She still has a chance to be a WAG. The WAG is, to the bogan, famous, yet has achieved little, if anything, beyond appearing on the cover of Zoo Magazine under the guise of being Nathan Bracken’s missus. She has a bloke at her side willing and able to fork over for cosmetic enhancements of all sorts, and actively encourages her desire to paste herself a sinister shade of orange and bare her newly-massive cans in the mens’ magazines or red carpet.

Moreover, the WAG has only two genuine obligations; to attend football matches (watching said matches is optional) and stapling an expensive-looking dress covered in sequins to its breasts once a year at the sport’s awards night. Beyond this, the WAG can pursue any and all goals it chooses; from hosting a travel show to interviewing other WAGs on the red carpet.

The result of all of this culminates in the femme-bogue deciding that becoming a WAG is her calling. Her destiny. It is what she was put on Earth to do. This results in weekly pilgrimages to weekend haunts known for containing athletes, where the femme-bogues stalk their prey with a single-minded, ruthless determination more commonly witnessed among rutting caribou. By the end of the night, the female bogan has passed out in a tangle of arms, legs, sequins and shame and its male counterpart is in the hospital, having been glassed in the side of the face by the half back flanker it thought was hitting on its missus.


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137 responses

5 07 2011
devil's advocate

What about Jess Bratich? She is a genuine athlete.

5 07 2011
hel

the femme bogue can ignore this fact because JB got her gash out on the red carpet a few years ago.

5 07 2011
devil's advocate

Pfft, hardly. It was somewhat revealing/risque but at least with her, it was not offending to the eye. Unlike, for example, that edelstein abomination.

5 07 2011
Blueballs

Dr Edelstens missus puzzles me immensely.

All of a sudden some former disgraced medico shimmies back into town from whatever rock he had been hiding under since the 80’s and proceeds to parade his ’20 something trophy wife’ around town, appearing anywhere that has a camera.

What puzzles me is that the Australian media sucked up all the glitz and tackiness unquestionably and I’ve yet to see one journalist actually do any background on her.

For staters, at the time she was claimed to be a ’25 year old personal trainer’ but given her obvious BMI and appearance, I’ve been suspicious of both claims.
With out saying as much, I’ve always suspected that any puffing and panting by her former ‘clients’ might not be from push ups…

5 07 2011
James Hunter

Blue balls’
Push up’s yes, exercise kind no.
Watching her for a few minutes( accidentally ) on dancing with the gallahs and she looks more like 40 something. still young enough to be his grad daughter but I guess whatever floats his boat.

5 07 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, you’re hardly one to comment on ageing, pops!

6 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

If your suspicions were true, it would have come out by now. Derryn Hinch is one journo that cannot stand the Edelstens and if he was able to find one hint of scandal about her, he would report it. He has already had several jabs at the pair of them on his radio program. Tacky she may be, but a prostitute? I don’t think so!

6 07 2011
Blueballs

Now, now, bit harsh calling her a slapper.

For the record, I didn’t call her a Prostitute….I might have implied it by using ‘clients’ in inverted commas, but as for calling her one, thats a bit low.

Back to my original question, does anyone know anything about her, pre her dramatic arrival to Oz and that The Nanny and George Kostanza were MC’s at the wedding?

6 07 2011
Mick

I sat behind George on an airplane when he was out here for that wedding.

Truly an annoying little man.

13 07 2011
Ash - Glassin' Carnts As A Release From Sex Addiction

Take that back, Mick. George Costanza is awesome.

7 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

“For the record, I didn’t call her a Prostitute….I might have implied it by using ‘clients’ in inverted commas, but as for calling her one, thats a bit low.”

You called her a prostitute. What else could you have meant? Al least be honest about it. If that was not your intention, what did you mean?

8 07 2011
Blueballs

A Private Chef… think about it, she’s a bit on the podgy side to be a personal trainer and everyone knows the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. FYI ‘the meat sweats’ is a well documented occurrence which will result in copious puffing and panting whilst trying to consume a 4kg lamb roast.

Now, you apologise for linking that poor woman’s good name to prostitution, before Geoffrey demands satisfaction form you

5 07 2011
Kelly Kapowski Klansman

Poor woman. Not in the monetary sense, of course…

Copped one hell of a beating from the bogan media. Don’t like that vacuous, tandoori-tinted mirror being held up to them.

“Nah, she’s a f#cken cow… Not all classy ‘n that like Our Lara.”

I’d wager she isn’t the most repellent blonde to make Edelsten’s acquaintance. Warwick Capper, anyone?

Full marks to the good doctor. Couldn’t very well exhume and wed the corpse of Anna Nicole Smith, could he?

Lady Edelsten, you are a Star. You ain’t no WAG. Geoffrey’s the HAB. Like Our Ruby Rose and her do-nothing husband.

6 07 2011
Blueballs

Agree, she’s not a WAG, more a trophy wife. Point being the media ate that shit up but what do we really know about her?

True, I’d prefer her than that shallow, grinning cum-sock that is Bingle

6 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

When all is said and done, she handles herself with more class than most people I know. Look at the filthy attacks the judges on DWTS directed at her. She could have pouted, whinged and bitched, but she didn’t. I am yet to hear her say a bad word about anyone. She may be a world class golddigger. Who knows? All I know is that she speaks nicely about Geoff and she never seems to have a bad word to say about anyone. I don’t think it’s a crime to wear scimpy clothing yet, so I am not prepared to hold that against her. She seems like a fairly decent person to me.

6 07 2011
Vviv2

Until she opens her mouth…..then I could cheerfully bitch-slap her! 😀

You really think those attacks weren’t set up to gain sympathy? It made the bogan’s love her & vote for her above others. It was an inspired move!
Or perhaps I’m too cynical….

7 07 2011
Kelly Kapowski Klansman

Hm… Never thought of it that way. Could the producers of Dancing with the Stars be manipulating the show’s audience? Vote now!

Haven’t actually heard the woman speak, which is probably a good thing. A crucial characteristic of the trophy wife is to be seen and not heard, so she’s got that covered, in stark contrast to her heaving chest-zeppelins.

The gold-digger tag may well be apt but you’d think it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, catering to the vanity of each party equally…

He’s a rich, eccentric (read crooked, bankruptcy-prone), freaky-looking old man who admirably comes back more audacious, shameless and steely-eyed after every one of his very public business failures, a la Donnie Trump…

She’s a young, blonde, limber, exotic (read American, tandoor-ised), pneumatically-breasted Amazon. (Cheers to Tony Martin for that one.)

What old man could say no?

She shops and gets to parade around saying “look at me”, he f#cks and gets to parade her around saying “look at me”. It’s a give and take, tit for tat agreement, so to speak.

To paraphrase The Godfather, and perhaps every movie ever made by Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese, “It’s not personal, it’s business.”

Really have to admire the cold, hard, economic dynamism of both parties. That’s the Edelstens,
not Coppola and Scorsese. Those two drug-addled clowns are constantly millions over budget…

It could be that Geoffrey’s finally over his bankruptcy binge. And all it took was the business sense and/or financial dependence of one special lady. It’s like the old adage: behind every sleazy businessman stands a much younger woman with massive cans.

https://thingsboganslike.com/2009/11/09/massive-cans/

7 07 2011
Vviv2

KKK,
You’re a lucky man if you’ve never been subjected to that voice. She sounds like the love child of Coco The Monkey & Betty Boop on crack! More whine than a jet turbine…
As for DWTS, it’s pre-recorded FFS, do you really think those comments couldn’t have been edited out? It was all stage-managed to the maxxtreme….which is how she kept on smiling through it all. The shots of that disgusting reptile she’s married to, strolling urbanely over to ‘defend’ his wife….It got them both publicity & interviews for days! Win/Win!
Apart from anything else, I really don’t think Sonja is so unprofessional as to come out & be downright rude without being scripted to do so…. Not when her usual form is to brown-nose & pretend to be totally on side.

7 07 2011
Kelly Kapowski Klansman

Christ, didn’t realise Geoff himself stepped in to defend his woman’s honour. Champagne drama!

Nice touch, Doc.

And “reptilian”. Perfect. Had to Google Pictures him and still couldn’t think of an appropriate zoological comparison.

That spiky jet-black hair isn’t doing him any favours. More extraterrestrial than anything. When he closes his eyes he could be mistaken for a propped-up cadaver, albeit one that’s been done up by a mortician with a wacky sense of humour.

7 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

I’m not just talking about the set up remarks on DWTS, although I’m not entirely convinced that those are “set up”. I have heard her interviwed on the radio and other media and the interviewers deliberately set out to get her to bad mouth Geoff or her detractors. She just will not do it. Now that might be because she is not bright enought to realise that she is being targeted, but I don’t believe that. Most of the attacks on her are very blatant and nasty. I think she is genuinely nice as most of the people who have met her is person will testify to. The only time I have heard her get a bit antsy is when Geoff talked of her plastic surgery and she snapped at him.

7 07 2011
p'bee

but why is anyone even talking to or about her? what does she actually do? what does she contribute to society other than wearing really ugly and far too small clothes? she may well be a nice person, i don’t know, but i do know there is absolutely no reason why she should be famous.

7 07 2011
Linda

She didn’t choose it. She was taken to the Brownlow’s by Geoff and wore an outrageous outfit. I don’t even think she realised how outrageous it was until she was splashed all over the media the following day. Her “fame” was not of her choosing.

7 07 2011
p'bee

she’s quite dumb if she didn’t realise how outrageous that dress was. and why were they at the brownlows? what is his involvement with them (genuine question)?
but still, that was one time – why is she still famous now?

7 07 2011
Vviv2

Daff,
Of course she won’t bad-mouth the golden goose that is Geoff. (seriously, if you were mega rich & got such a shocking face lift, wouldn’t you take a contract out on the surgeon?), & just how many difficult questions can the most rabid reporter ask some one they consider to be the mental equivalent to a rissole?
She’s laughing all the way…. But I think when she finally gets her hands on Geoff’s companies, she will surprise a great many people. I think Bree has a brain, a very good one, & will come into her own running the Edelsten empire once Geoff turns up his toes.
Until then, she plays the game….

7 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

Perhaps, but if she is playing the game, she is playing it pretty well. I really wanted to dislike her. I saw that outfit on Brownlow night and combined with the fact that she was Geoffrey’s date……..To me that was a double abomination. However, she followed that up with an interview with Eddie Maguire the day after the Brownlow’s and he went all out to get her to say something nasty about Geoff. He was clever how he phrased things and he never caught her out. Now she may be extremely clever as you are alluding to or she may just be genuinely nice and has been the one who has been taken advantage of.

If you want a person who really played the game IMO, look no further than Australia Zoo (if you get my drift). Look what happened when her hubby turned up his toes!

5 07 2011
bogueliving

I think TISM summed it up when they sang “you’re just another sad fat prick sitting in the M.C.G high-fiving in self-congratulation, as if its you that had the skill and determination to play for Australia” With a slight change of lyrics this could equally apply to the WAGs……..

6 07 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Or similarly from their descendants, ROOT!, with “Famous For Being Famous For Being Famous”.

5 07 2011
thecarer

I’m happy to say that i don’t even know what WAG stands for.

6 07 2011
Anonymous Bosch

I’m confused too. Can someone explain it for us slow kids at the back of the class?

6 07 2011
Anonymous Bosch

Ah, found it. Sorry.

7 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

Wives and Girlfriends

5 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

When it all goes horribly wrong!

5 07 2011
hel

the back of that dress if OK, I just think she may be a little on the cuddly side to wear it (no she is not fat but that kind of outfit requires a femme boguesque commitment to diet shakes, chain smoking and three hour gym sessions, not to mention a tandoori spray)

5 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

She has plumbers crack going on, not good.

5 07 2011
hel

really? I was too busy looking at the dress detail to notice that! I muist go and check!

5 07 2011
Pandabater

Would you have to “back ‘er in” everywhere you go?

5 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Install a reversing siren “beep, beep,beep”

5 07 2011
martin

She looks like an overweight Mrs Bec Hewitt. Classy.

5 07 2011
shakPower

haha Nathan Bracken! or is it Andrew V from channel G??

5 07 2011
Peter Thornton

Perhaps it’s James Hunter from Lower Dogpatch…

5 07 2011
FeetuP

The above should be read in Sir David Attenborough voçe.

5 07 2011
djm

I might regret this, but what does “WAG” stand for?

5 07 2011
hel

Wives And Girlfriends. Blame Victoria Beckham

5 07 2011
James Hunter

so long as the wife or girlfriend that the boag attends with is someone else’s

5 07 2011
hel

touche Mr. Hunter

6 07 2011
devil's advocate

I don’t think Victoria Beckham (or Bec Hewitt, for that matter) can be blamed for the WAG obsession. Reason being, both Beckam and Bec had achieved some level of independent stardom prior to ever meeting their husbands (deserved or not, they were already on the cover of gossip rags).

To my mind, this post is more decrying the idea that a) there is a bogue culture that allows/encourages the trashmedia kracken to elevate someone to superstar status purely by reason they are ro0ting a sports star and b) that the femmebogue then entertains illusions or aspirations that she could someday be that star.

5 07 2011
moar caek

funny that their vacuous paramours go to so much trubble to get a pretty frock when the players still have no idea how to wear a suit.
look at the bag of sh*t in the photo!
and she’s obviously too self obsessed to even realise he got the suit at lowes and had to sleep in it for three days after his Mum dressed him.

5 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

in·con·gru·ous/inˈkäNGgro͞oəs/
Adjective: Not in harmony or keeping with the surroundings or other aspects of something; not in place.

5 07 2011
moar caek

forget Carbon, gene pool pollution is the greatest threat to humanity.
(inˈkäNGgro͞oəs looks like a potential popular bogan baby name BTW)

5 07 2011
hel

Greetings my erstwhile companion. I have been busy of late and as a result my TBL committment has suffered greatly, however, such is my committment to being ironically bogan, I must share with you a tale……. I laughingly said to a friend I should get personalised plates, they said that was a terrible idea and very wankerish……. I then suggested a plate which contained my name AND the name of my vehicle, to which all my hipster, arts degree toting, latte sipping friends recoiled in horror and exclaimed that was the lowest of the low and the most bogan thing anyone could ever do! I even used my facebook status to test what people felt was MOST inappropriate (another brilliant act of boganity, yet my aim was to find what would marginalise me the most, rather than maXimise my conformity) So, in the spirit of my latent boganity, and in all honesty without really seriously considering it before, I decided to get personalised plates……….. to annoy my friends and probably end up being harassed on the road by holden driving bogues who think I am kin………. for the record I would like to state, I tried to get TBL as a plate but some BASTARD already has it!

5 07 2011
martin

You’ll want a My Family sticker as well.

5 07 2011
hel

hey, hey, hey, steady on there, let’s not get carried away!

5 07 2011
Peter of Kensington

For a group of guys (I assume you are all men) who spend all their time criticising the values and standards of others, there seems to be a fair bit of misogyny running through your posts.

I still can’t tell if this is a thinly veiled criticism of the actual wives and girlfriends of sport stars, or simply a criticism of what you think woman believe being a WAG involves. Doesn’t really matter, I guess.

5 07 2011
hel

I like to think they are being ironic……

5 07 2011
Vviv2

Sorry, you would be wrong in your surmise PoK, I am most definitely female!
I’m thinking that there’s not a lot I can say about wags that wouldn’t sound plain bitchy, so I’ll sit back & watch the fun.
It’s a shame that all the fighting for equality that women have done in the past is reduced to ashes by these root rats, (albeit stunning ones!), who for the majority still rely on hanging off a famous man for their ‘career’.

5 07 2011
Peter of Kensington

Apologies for being unclear, I was directing my comment at TBL.

5 07 2011
martin

So hating and or berating certain types of women makes one a misogynist?

PC gone mad! That’s some maxxtreme libtard shit.

5 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

What’s it called if you berate the men – Mrogynist.

That’s one for you JH!

5 07 2011
martin

That’s easy. Misandrist.

There’s heaps of ads that use misandry. Your husband is an idiot so you need to buy this.

5 07 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
A real Mrogynist would be Pete Babe. Or would we ,for him, spell that “Morongonyst ” ?If you havent done so check out his latest on #234.
Reminds me of something my dad used to say about what is the key to public speaking.
“stand up, so you may be seen”
“speak up so you may be heard”
“sit down and shut up so you may be appreciated “

5 07 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, just try using a dictionary so you may be understood!

5 07 2011
Peter of Kensington

Nope. Projecting ‘certain’ unfavourable attributes onto woman does.

5 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

What if they actually contain these unfavourable attributes and we don’t need to project?

5 07 2011
moar caek

Projecting ‘certain’ unfavourable attributes onto ‘certain’ womEn does not.

chicks are graet. I’m certain TBL will concur. even the gay one.

5 07 2011
Mick

There’s a gay one? That’s it, I’m leaving this outfit.

*closing the door behind him, Mick stops and stares at the glorious day. Taking a deep breath, he takes his first step…*

5 07 2011
Vviv2

Glorious day?
Mick’s Obviously not in Melbourne….

5 07 2011
Mick

No chance. That place is full of them WAG type women.

Can’t stand ’em. I’ve had many experiences with the sports groupie over the years. As shallow as a shallow puddle that went to shallow university.

Awful people.

5 07 2011
Vviv2

Worse Mick, It’s full of the football yobos & other assorted braindead bogan sportsmen too….
Really NOT a good place to be 😦

5 07 2011
Dgusten

Peter, for every TBL post that “projects” unfavourable attributes onto women, there’s another that “projects” unfavourable attributes onto men – does that make the TBL authors misandrist?

But then really, most of the posts “project” unfavourable attributes onto bogans of both genders…

So perhaps they’re misanthropes?

Yet the hatred is confined to bogans rather than all of humanity… so they’re misboges? Or something?

Whatever they are, I’ve gotta agree with the above posters that your misogynist tag is poorly reasoned in the circumstances.

PS Count me as misbogue.

5 07 2011
Dgusten

Dammit, that should be:

PS Count me as a misbogue.

6 07 2011
Peter of Kensington

Your assessment is a little too simplistic to carry any wieght.

It would be interesting to see how many times the term ‘he-Bougue’ (or similar) is used, and how often the associated critisicm is consistant with the typical views of misandrist. Now do the same for ‘femme-bouge’.

There is a worrying undertone running through a lot of the TBL posts.

6 07 2011
Kelly Kapowski Klansman

Pedantic semantics.

Bogue, femme-bogue; waiter, waitress; baristo, barista; actor, actress; mortician, Morticia…

Simply a way to distinguish gender. Might be a bit antiquated if you ask the modern womyn, but being the retrograde traditionalist that I am, I’d picture an uncouth, violent male when confronted with the word bogan. Could be wrong, but I doubt Germaine Greer would get her armpit hair in a twist over use of the word femme-bogue.

F#ck. Just rendered my comment null and void after that sexist, News Ltd-esque slip of the finger. Disregard.

Though I’m not averse to the use of homme-bogue. For symmetry if nothing else.

Now for God’s sake, would it kill you to put some make-up on?! You look terrible!

F#ck. There I go again.

6 07 2011
Bag O'Turnips

The majority of bogans of both genders are usually sexists anyway, citing equally only when it suits their ends.

QED is shown in their behaviours, so we can use the distinct gender descriptors when describing their ways. So long as we ourselves here don’t behave in such oafish ways, that is quite alright by me to delineate accordingly.

7 07 2011
Dgusten

I’m sure that if the WAG phenomenon was replicated by he-bogues and famous women, TBL would hate it just as much (ie. if there was such a thing as vacuous men who chase famous women in the hope of shagging one so that they can become famous too).

Sure, lots of guys (probably not just bogans) want to shag a famous woman, but it’s generally just a fantasy, not some thing they treat as a genuine career prospect. It’s also not something that they’re likely to have ever set out on a weekend to achieve, for examply by attending bars frequented by famous women. And if they ever managed to bag a famous women, the result would probably be confined to “I shagged her and now I can tell my mates about how awesome I am”, rather than “I shagged her and now I can tell the whole world and use this to try to make myself famous and get invited to next year’s Logies”.

TBL/we don’t hate them because they’re women, we hate them because of their behaviour.

And although TBL’s authors are all men, I imagine plenty of the female fans of this site hate the behaviour just as much – are they misogynists too?

Meanwhile, the behaviour of he-bogues on the flip side of this coin was dealt with in posts such as #180 Footy trips, #145 Hot Asian Chicks, #100 Brendan Fevola and #124 Anal etc…

7 07 2011
Kelly Kapowski Klansman

Interesting. The closest thing to the male equivalent of a WAG I can think of is that fine gentleman who filmed himself having sex with a surprisingly passive Paris Hilton. (Yeah, I saw it. What of it?) A classic case being famous for filming yourself f#cking someone famous for being famous. From memory, the guy even had his own video commentary:

“Oh, dude, dude, check it out, this is the part where I bend her over and f###, ### #### #### ## ### ### #### ### #### ### f####ing f####!! Then I shove it back in and f###ing f### ### ##### ##### ###### #### ### # ### ## anal ### # ### ## #### ### had to call a doctor to pull it out again! Dude, it was awesome, dude!!”

That’s taking “bragging to your mates at the pub” to a whole ‘nuther level, dudes!

Oh wait, on the BAH (boyfriends and husbands) front, there’s the fellow from Two and a Half Guys, a Girl and Three Quarters of a Pizza Place who used to be married to Scarlett Johansson. That close?

A bit like our own Steve Jacobs scoring a date with Rose Byrne.

Or am I being a bit harsh on the venerable Green Lantern? My ladyfriend’s a fan. Not so much of the Paris Hilton video though…

Bloody misandrist.

Gives me a fantastic money-spinner of an idea, on the subject of bogue-feminism: P!nk has yet to tap the man-hating market… and now’s the perfect time for her to release a new LP, “Missadriztood”. Ching-ching!! I smell another five dozen sold-out shows at Rod Laver Arena!

7 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Remember Millsie stuck one in Paris and got famous. And didn’t McFadden get famous for porking Deltra?

7 07 2011
Kelly Kapowski Klansman

McFadden.

Of course. What a glaring oversight.

The alpha BAH!

More obnoxious than any WAG was, is, or ever shall be!

Good get, Glasser.

7 07 2011
Dgusten

@KKK
I had to look up Wikipedia to find out his name (Rick Salomon), and Google Images to find a photo. Neither the name or the photos rang any bells for me, so in my mind he didn’t get that famous out of it.

Having said that, my further reading of Wikipedia revealed that he went on to MARRY (not just f#ck or date) Elizabeth Daily (a voice actress), Shannen Doherty AND Pamela Anderson. So he’s a serial he-WAG (how do you like that name, PofK? Misandrist enough for you?). If I read more NW I’d probably have already known that… thankfully I do not.

The Green Lantern (Ryan Reynolds) was engaged to Alanis for several years before dating Scarlett, so he’s a bit of a serial he-WAG too (although one that is fairly famous in his own right – I actually knew about the Alanis bit and I kinda liked the Pizza Place show… oops).

@Simon
My recollection was that Millsie was in the height of his Australian Idol fame (ha!) at the time of his hook up with Paris, whereas she was still fairly unknown in Australia – her “singing” and “acting” “careers” had yet to amount to much (hence she was in Australia for a horse race! ). If anything, the incident shot her to fame in Australia.

Similarly, Brian McFadden was very famous in the UK as part of Westlife (fourteen number 1 singles) and as the husband of Kerry Katona (part of Atomic Kitten – three number 1 singles), while Delta was largely unknown there. She helped him get famous in Australia, while he helped her get famous there. A symbiotic WAG-he-WAG relationship.

But in any case, all of the above are very different to the Kim Duthie (St Kilda Schoolgirl) wannabe WAG phenomenon.

7 07 2011
jenxxxer

Warnie and Elizabeth Hurley. He is the uberbogue.

7 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant Source of Randomness

Dgusten, here am I going for the cheap laugh and you have to bring facts into it!

7 07 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
He bought facts into it ? At least it prooves he is not an undercover journalist !

8 07 2011
Kelly Kapowski Klansman

Christ Dgusten,

Next time I’ll check the facts before mouthing off. Looks like I’m outta my depth here. I guess my man Salomon just seemed like a star to me on account of my repeated viewings of his masterwork.

For anyone who wants to know the chronology of the Paris Hilton sex-tape guy’s public life, here goes:

Had a coupla daughters with the voice of Buttercup the Powerpuff Girl. Had a pregnancy-length marriage to Shannen Doherty. Then came the Paris Hilton sex tape. Then, realising our man was one class act, Pamela Anderson – still smarting from the loss of that upstanding pillar of the community Tommy Lee – tapped that. Of course, by then Salomon was a key player on the Los Angeles poker circuit. But alas, like so many modern romances, this match made in porno heaven was not to last. And so ends the WikiLife of our good mate, the Paris Hilton sex-tape guy.

And let me state the obvious. Scarlett Johansson is a step up from Alanis Morissette, Mr Reynolds. Kudos. But at the risk of appearing misogynist, Ms Morissette, Reynolds is quite a few steps up from the guy who played Uncle Joey on Full House. You oughta know he is.

Furthermore, surely Paz Hilton was a household name here before she hit the Spring Carnival/Millsy? I do believe Stephen Fry hit them both that same year and I’ll be damned if I’ll call him talentless.

And dammit man, you’re undercutting the achievements of Kim “The St Kilda Schoolgirl” Duthie. Nearly brought down one of the most famous yet mediocre sporting clubs in the land with nothing more than her savvy use of social media and photos of dicks.

And Kerry Katona? Thank you for providing me with my next Klan incarnation…

Stand corrected on Mr Reynolds too. He’s a very sexy, talented man, who is on Letterman right now.

7 07 2011
Peter of Kensington

blah, blah blah [snip] “TBL/we don’t hate them because they’re women, we hate them because of their behaviour.”

If you honestly think that TBL comments on behaviour you are seriously misguided. TBL openly admits they address the motives, intent and morals behind an individual’s behaviour.

I was merely pointing out that when TBL attributes motives to females, it usually pretty consistent with a misogynistic view of woman. E.g:

Behaviour – attractive female marries a sport star
TBL – She must be a sexually promiscuous, fame- hungry gold digger.

Just an observation, I’m not making any direct accusations.

7 07 2011
Dgusten

Yeah, and I just think that the misogyny card is a cop out. Eg:

Behaviour – man criticises a woman about anything whatsoever.

Woman (or paternalistic man) – I’ll ignore what he says, because he’s just a misogynist.

11 07 2011
andrew

I just had a read of the hot Asian chicks post. “eating Chinese” god damn I can just hear the bogan hoard gawafing at that, fuck I hate bogans. This is the problem I love reading everyone’s comments on TBL I often find them funnier than the post; but it just gets depressing when you confront the size of the bogan infestation. And the fact it seems to be growing.

5 07 2011
martin

Bogan feminism at it’s finest. Another form of bogan feminism are women, usually ugly ones, that are rude, supercilious and conceited who think that being so makes them independant and revolutionary and stuff.

5 07 2011
Vviv2

Agreed Martin, there’s no excuse for rudeness, male or female.
Or duck hunting…. unless the duck is a bogan! 😀

[video src="http://s545.photobucket.com/albums/hh386/gettadogupya/VIDEOS/?action=view&current=RedneckPaintballDuck.mp4" /]

5 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Didn’t we decide Donald Duck is a bogan?

5 07 2011
Vviv2

Ahh! So we did! My apologies Simon….But these are altogether bigger bogans!

5 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Utube does not work at work so I will view later V2.

5 07 2011
Vviv2

All good Simon…it’s from my personal collection…

5 07 2011
martin

The second of those ducks is now dead after drink driving in his Porsche!

5 07 2011
Vviv2

Don’t worry Martin, he’s eligible for a Darwin award…..

5 07 2011
urbanreverie

What? An American who knows what a “fortnight” is? Wonders shall never cease.

6 07 2011
Bag O'Turnips

@V2

These ghastly women who have got the wrong end of the stick are what one may politely call “post-feminists”, in that instead of using all the advances made during the Sexual Revolution era of Feminism to both further their independent standing and value in society and to encourage the men in their lives to slough off the shackles of male chauvinism, these types have completely trashed the idea, believing it to be an excuse to act in the same boorish way that men were accustomed to behaving and were rightly criticised for…this is what’s given rise to the “raunch culture”, i.e. appropriating the Playboy logo and dressing up like a Bunny, though that magazine and enterprise was (and still remains) a bastion of blatant sexism, thinking that by acquiescing to the image in an overt and aggressive manner equals empowerment (not to mention the concept of making purchase into the franchise in mistaken belief that this will confer its (ultimately spurious) patina of glam onto them, but they forget that two wrongs don’t make a right.

Is it any wonder why so many within the bogan spectrum feel compelled to comply to an updated, remixed version of good ol’ constrictive gender roles? Ergo the Suzuki Swift with the rabbit ears on Boguette’s car, while Bogue must cast his eyes gazing longingly upon a Picture mag? It actually makes life a lot easier when one jettisons any pre-concieved and outdated notions of gender (not to mention other accidents of birth, such as race, culture and family of origin), as you can then deal with each person solely on their merits as fellow human beings.

OK, enough of the earnest Feminism from me…to conclude on a relatively lighter note…what will become of the whole WAG and sports star scene, once they age, given that many professional sportspeople in their prime often forget to look at simultaneously cultivating another career to fall back upon once their body says “enough!”: not every retired footballer or cricketer should hedge upon becoming a media commentator or a coach, but so many seem to do just that…with all these surplus Richie Benaud or Dennis Cometti wannabes gradually increasing from what was a decade-or-so ago a mere trickle, I wonder what happens to all these ex-sports stars and their WAGs, once the media spotlight they were once accustomed to has permanently darkened above them? Where do they go? What do they do? I know that not every WAG can do a Jo Bailey (Silvagni) and appear on Zoot TV ads, but their appetite for meeja attention (or for ex-players, to persist in another paid capacity in their old sport) remains undimmed—is that because that’s all they know? Or is it a sense of entitlement, that the celebrity-churning commercial media foster and groom into them early on, then completely disregarding them once they pass a certain telegenic use-by date, given that there was no other talent to nurture in the first place?

Once the now-small river swells into a flood of these ex-stars and accompanying WAGs, will there be a whole insular industry unto themselves? Or will they be scavenging for pittances of recognition on the school fête and Centro mall (Westfield would be out of their league, forget Poncing With The Dickheads And Has-Beens) circuits?

5 07 2011
Benny Hill

I prefer Porn Hub

5 07 2011
hel

“like”

5 07 2011
Jaydyn Jaspur Jamieson

I prefer just watching me mate, Darryn, and what fat wooofa, he finds at the local meat market. It’s ok he is cool with it, and asks me to keep the webcam straight.

8 07 2011
AFR

Nah, YouPorn is the best.

6 07 2011
James Hunter

Seems like (to the Boag)as soon as a girl becomes a WAG she is degraded and is no longer attractive in he rown right. An example of comflict between the boags desire to have sex with any attractive female and realisation that WAGs are not attainable. Never realisation that these women were never within his grasp nor the hurtful truth that assertive,successful realy attractive women actually scare the boag.Scare him big time.That is supported by the types of trashy mindless bougettes that he hangs with and ultimately in the epitome of self delusion marries.

6 07 2011
Peter Thornton

Good Lord, James Hunter, please return to your more cryptic, though extremely difficult to elucidate style. This latest puzzle is fair-dinkum indecipherable! Either that or ease-up on the juice.

6 07 2011
James Hunter

please explain

6 07 2011
Vviv2

You must have stunned Petey babe James! He forgot the “Oh” 😛

6 07 2011
James Hunter

Vviv2,
If he would just confine himself to “Oh” then at least we may all understand him.
Second thought, maybe we could just confine him ?

7 07 2011
Vviv2

James,
If you’ll supply the handcuffs, I’ll bring the taser….
Though he’ll probably enjoy it!

7 07 2011
James Hunter

Flesh coloured thin cable ties any use ?

7 07 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, no need to break out your arsenal of marital aids.

7 07 2011
James Hunter

Pete Babe,
When it comes to an Ass enal of martial A.I.D.S. , I will bow to your vioce of extensive experience.

7 07 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, or rather, eww, James Hunter, less of it, you grotesque malcontent.

7 07 2011
Vviv2

Perhaps we misunderstood Petey James?
We don’t need to restrain him….
It appears he’s willing! 😀

7 07 2011
James Hunter

Viv2
He is easily excitable too. I mean to say he just used a nine letter wortd immediately adjacent to a ten letter word.
Any more excitement and if his atrium doesn’t fibrilate he may start with quotes from the “Oxford Concise Dictionary of Quotations ” .
Scarey Hmmm ?

7 07 2011
Vviv2

James,
OOOOOOH!

I can’t wait!!

Do you think he’ll need more than we can provide?

7 07 2011
James Hunter

Vviv2,
set a straw man and catch a troll ?

Nonetheless we may need help because I certainly am no expert in the Mental Health field.

6 07 2011
hel

“Win or lose, the stars of rugby league will have reason to feel like champions when they return to their WAGs”

sweet jesus

http://wwos.ninemsn.com.au/glanceview/176441/wag-of-the-week-an-origin-tribute.glance

6 07 2011
hel

dear god most of those men look like the back end of a bus! A heavily graffittied one that has been run into a few times…… awful

7 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Did you really need to do that Hel and why are there 2 blokes in photo 5?

7 07 2011
p'bee

overheard an oversharing femmebogue conversation on the train this afternoon. they were talking about going out drinking, then one asked the other when the last time she’d vomited was. so they had a nice chat about vomiting in car parks. then they moved on to guys and sex and the quote of the week ‘i’ve only been a slut for the last three months’.
and i wasn’t even sitting near them – i was at the other end of the carriage, they were just talking loudly enough to inform the whole carriage of their drinking, vomiting, and sexual habits.

7 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Noice, you do move in august circles P’bee. Can you take something for being a slut, besides penicillin?

8 07 2011
p'bee

my circles are the most august.

8 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

That is not unusual. I was at a 21st birthday party and the girlfriends all took turns during the speeches in telling their various stories about the birthday girl and her exploits. This included one night when she was crowned “vomit queen” at a local pub. They all thought their stories were hilarious despite the fact that everyone alse in the room including her boyfriend just looked horrified. When it came time for her brother (a soldier who had just returned from Timor) to speak, he got up and simply said “I don’t know what happened to her since I’ve been gone”. The audience just tittered nervously.

7 07 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, the book of quotations you’re attempting to cite is actually The Oxford Library of Words and Phrases. It’s a trio of books. Book 1 is Quotations, book 2 Proverbs and book 3 Word Origins. Request it at your local library; your local library being a joke in itself.

7 07 2011
James Hunter

“Pete Babe,
What I ment was “The Oxford Concise Dictionasry of Quotations”.a paperback.That is why it is called “Concise”
The set to which you refer is far too large for you to carry in your pocket for handy quick reference which is what you would need. Oh you can pick a copy up on Amazon real cheap.

8 07 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, what you’re referring to, ie ‘what you ment’ (sic) is actually a parallel copy. Do not try to tell me anything about publishing or copyright you pea-brained imbecile. And by the standard of spelling you employ, a dictionasry (sic) is possibly the least read of your rarely read books.

8 07 2011
Vviv2

Good grief Petey…..Just go to work!

8 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

Why is there no equivalent level of outrage against someone like Wendy Deng who married Rupert Murdoch? She is also much younger than he is. It would appear that because she is more intelligent and one could argue that she is a bit more on the plain side than your average sports WAG she gets away with it. There seems to be a heavy bias here. To be a fully fledged golddigger, you have to be pretty, unintelligent and much younger.

If we are being honest here, men like young, beautiful, fertile women. Women, for the most part, like hunter, providers. The WAG phenomenon is just an extension of this.

Many of the men who are slagging Brynne Edelsten and her WAG counterparts are secretly ogling their breasts and wishing they could have a woman like them. Marilyn Monroe (who was rumoured to be quite intelligent) had many older, intellectual suiters in her day and it could be argued that she was the equivalent of the WAG.

8 07 2011
Vviv2

Daff,
I think the main difference here is that WAGs are predominantly attached to sports bogans, & aren’t known for anything other than bonking said bogans.
Their only skill lies in looking great, (which they do!), & inspiring envy in the hearts of other bogans.
Wendy Deng is extremely intelligent, talented & had a very successful career in her own right. She doesn’t appear to have the “LOOK AT MOI” mentality so apparent in your average WAG.
Agreed, men will always ogle big boobs….. That’s what makes the whole WAG phenomenon work! They see, they want, they envy!

8 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I’m not sure if I represent most men, but I view norks of death like Brynne or Pam Anderson as side show attractions. You might have a look for curiosity, OMG look at those fuggers kind of thing, but you don’t want to take them home.

8 07 2011
culturalarmament

Boobies or no boobies, long, shapely legs, porcelain skin, angelic face… All nice, all good and all often coveted, but the thing is we don’t chose who we fall in love with. It just sort of happens. And when we do fall in love – that all-consuming love, that lusty love, where people live and breathe each other twenty-four hours a day the object of our love could wear velour leggings, acid-washed tanktop or, indeed, resemble all that is most hideous about James Hunter – by which mean everything about James Hunter – and yet they would still look gorgeous to us because all the bells and whistles are not what makes our truest love beautiful. That, I believe, is why WAGs and all their various sub-species deserve mostly all of the shit that’s so unceremoniously dumped on them.

8 07 2011
culturalarmament

Oh, James Hunter, posting from the old iPhone today hence the culturalarmament moniker, pops. Make no mistake though, I’ll still be monitoring (and correcting) your unfounded and chemically ungrounded dispatches from Dogpatch (Lower).

8 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/07/poppa-squatter/

Too funny not to share. It’s like Warwick and Joanne Capper to the power of 10.

8 07 2011
Vviv2

OMG Simon! 😀
WHERE did you dig those two up?
Think he uses the same quality surgeon as Edelsten?

8 07 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

It is hard to believe these people exist! They make the Edelstens look quite conservative huh.

If you have not looked before
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
is a gold mine of arseclowns.

8 07 2011
p'bee

his eyes are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

not to mention the polished wood finish both of them are sporting.

13 07 2011
daffodilsareyellow

How can someone get around like that without being told that they look terrible? I am not saying that to be nasty, I am just being realistic. Wouldn’t you think that someone would have said to him that his tan was too dark and wasn’t doing him any favours? There is always that outspoken person who will tell you the truth no matter what, especially when your look is as obviously bad as his. I know that site is about hot chicks with douchebags, but she is every inch as bad as he is.

13 07 2011
p'bee

he probably thinks anyone who questions (or laughs at) his looks is just jealous of his awesome guns and tan. i think all the oil and tanning lotion has sunk into his brain.

13 07 2011
Pandabater

The world needs more Kramers.

11 07 2011
POMMIE MICK

I must get out more or maybe watch some commercial tv as I have never heard of most of the “famous” people discussed above.

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