Things Bogans Like: Culture Warriors

7 06 2011

Well, we’ve finally managed to be misquoted by The Australian, and sneered at by Tim Blair. Today marks a high point in the TBL experiment.  As befits the ‘Cut and Paste’ section of our august national broadsheet, several slices of last week’s Boganomics piece were assembled in lovely fashion for the general outrage porn of that paper’s readership. A response has been penned, and seeing as the piece went up at our Macrobusiness page, it’s only fitting that the response is posted there, too.


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62 responses

7 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

There certainly are some humourless numbnuts out there TBL. Good work.

7 06 2011
James Hunter

TBL,
We should all be outraged at Rupert and the Australian after this mornings news that he is going to start charging for onlinbe news.
Freedom of The Press is even more at risk when people have to qay to get politically biased,censored, “news”

7 06 2011
chris - If you glass us, do we not bleed?

Lemme see… top 5 stories at the moment:
1. ‘In Brisbane…they hate n—-s out here’
2. ‘If you took naked pictures, hide your face’
3. Jay ‘obsessed’ with cake after MasterChef
4. So, about that ‘building on Mars’ thing…
5. Mem Fox stands by her man in sex trial
IMHO any outrage will come from bogans, both old and new when they realise that they have to stump up some cash for this dreck. Me, I’m kind of bemused by it all.

10 06 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, all the gen-yew-wine news from Lower Dogpatch comes from its cutting edge newspaper The World Guardian, (it’s cutting edge because the sub spells fortuitous ‘4-2-0-2-S’). This breathy broadsheet also enlightens Crabwell Corners and Upper Stankwell Falls residents. Rumours of this wide reaching organ of information soon being made available on the computatater – a machine that is a combination of an old computer and a new potato peeler – persist.

7 06 2011
James Hunter

!

7 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

JH, where do you find non biased, non censored news? Do you have a private feed out there at Dogpatch?

7 06 2011
James Hunter

Hi Simon,
Unfortunately no. I also acknowledge that press bias is as old as the press.
If some how the press had any sense of social responsibility it would be so good. If the general population were well enough educated that they were aware of the bias and manifulation of the press that to would be good. Unatainable and unlikely but something to dream about while on the lookout for stalker(s) out here at dogpatch !
The quest for power I suppose is a magor part of our genetic base that nothing will ever change. We are after all the most successful predator on this planet. Pity now the need is less severe we still all behave like the animals that we are. ?

7 06 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, you media maven, don’t upgrade yourself. You live in Lower Dogpatch! Next you’ll start claiming you’re in Dogpatch Heights.

8 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Perhaps Dogpatch Gardens or Dogpatch upon Lakes has a nice ring JH?

8 06 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
Maybe “Dogpatch on Hunter” or ” Dogpatch on Williams ” ? Since we are close enough to either river.
Has a nice ring to it and with the Beagles one could immagine riding to hounds ?

7 06 2011
Mick

In the MB comments section, someone suggested that TBL is a ‘veritable meme unto themselves’. Now, being the only (I think) non-university educated type here so I could be wrong. But, would that not just mean a cult?

If so, I hope it’s a cool one where we all take off an a spaceship shaped like a schooner and glass them smartarse alien carnts. Or, maybe a ritual suicide pact where we all do each other in with an exotic mixture of chevodores, pineapples and meerkats.

7 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Mick, I’m confused. What is the Meercat for again?

7 06 2011
p'bee

we’re the coolest of cults. i’m designing our spiffy cult muu muus now.

7 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Can we have arseless chaps P’bee?

7 06 2011
p'bee

they’re part of the summer uniform.

8 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

V’iv will be pleased but we will need anal bleaching to carry that off.

8 06 2011
AntiPajero

Doesn’t matter if you’re skinny
Doesn’t matter if you’re fat
You can dress up like a sultan
In your onion head hat

19 06 2011
Davo

As long as the cool aid gets me high.

8 06 2011
Lucius

I appreciate the reference, but a formal citation wouldn’t go astray.

8 06 2011
Mick

My apologies, Lucius.

8 06 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Ooh, have we said something that has offended them at Limited News?

Probably, if the likes of Tim Blehhyuck and their other motley crew of rabid Wiberwal cheerleaders have felt the the need to take a potshot at little minnows like us (which they would probably deride TBL and their regulars as, anyway), then surely we’ve hit them with a small flak of shrapnel, clearly both where it is exposed and where it hurts.

They damn well know that the status quo, i.e. CUBs and NaBs, they purport to sneer upon at the behest of their nouveau riche capitalist readers, are in fact the very one-and-same drones they depend upon to keep the cogs turning to keep those selfsame readers filthy rich, so they are, to The Strayan, something of a protected pest. That we dare too to trample on what they consider to be their underlings—of whom they depend on more than they’ll ever acknowledge— as well as them, we have exposed their rank hypocrisy, so now in smarting from those flesh wounds we’ve seemingly inflicted upon them, we have now become fair game to these Goliaths pretending to be David, revealing their cowardice in their doing so and hiding behind the bogans they simultaneously deride and maintain an unhealthy codependency with.

In summary to Limited News, the truth hurts, especially when you’ve been hiding behind a lie like they have in their relationship with the bogans of today.

(Disclaimer: just to redress questions of “bias” (and we know the sensitivities of certain folk who moonlight between Uncle Rupert and Aunty, so we’ll salve them…yes, I’m speaking to you, Planet), I feel that the primary guest that appeared on ABC Radio National’s Life Matters programme, Dr David Nichols, has really been lead on the garden path re the existence of bogans: yes, they ARE real, and just because you moved to Broadmeadows (from Hawthorn, mark you) doesn’t give you insight into their evolution…the bogan of yore did and still does call Broady home, but you’ve missed out completely on the recent emergence, natch phenomenon, of the even-more obnoxious CUB and NaB, who don’t live in Broadmeadows, but now live in places like Narre Warren, Caroline Springs, Doreen and Pakenham, as well as the NaBs in high-rises at Docklands and Southbank (for those outside of Melbourne, there are parallels of which you can draw and cite in your own cities). I also believe that the researchers on this RN programme have overlooked the vast resources of TBL in not asking one of them to be a guest speaker on the show, having published a book which is a definitive primer on the new breeds of bogan, of which has sold out of its printing run (which Dr Nichols’ book, in my opinion will struggle to do, owing to its utter redundancy: his observations may have been groundbreaking in 1991, but two decades have passed and a whole next generation of bogan born then has mutated into something well beyond his recognition now). So to youse Culture Warriors at Limited News, yeah, Aunty fücked up there, so one-all there! How’s that for balance, folks? And this is from someone who’d normally be considered a irredeemably one-eyed luvvie libtard Friend of the ABC!)

8 06 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Oops, typo: “…lead on the garden path…” should be “led”.

Mind you, I’m sure the born-to-rule readers of The Strayan don’t mind a little lead on the garden path in Broadmeadows, or Narre Warren for that matter, as you can make a fortune digging up, processing and transporting that mineral. Just so long as it’s not on their garden paths, it’s fine.

8 06 2011
urbanreverie

I had much the same observation as you, Turnips – Broadmeadows is NOT bogan. Broady is immigrant working-class.

If David Nichols lived in Coreyworthingtonland in the middle of the Triangle Of Nasty (a triangle with its vertices in Dandenong, Cranbourne and Pakenham), his view on boganism may well be different.

So for David Nichols to claim that “Oh, there are no such things as bogans because I live in Broadmeadows and there aren’t too many bogans here so therefore they don’t exist” is rather sloppy.

9 06 2011
Davo

There’s more bogans in Essendon than there are in Broady. Every cashed up sales rep consultant manager bogan wants to live in Essendon.

8 06 2011
Lucius

Huzzah! The inner-city elitist hipster douchebag marks a high watermark in its self-congratulatory circle jerk of an experiment! Having spent a solid year and a half desperately trying to provoke the sort of mainstream outrage that would validate its experiment, the inner-city elitist hipster douchebag has at last garnered the attention it doesn’t deserve. Of course, the effect would have been greater had this occurred sometime earlier. Unfortunately, devoting so many months to a grotesque and vindictive caricature has left none but a handful of insecure acolytes taking seriously the claim that TBL is merely flippant satirising. But despair not! The inner-city elitist hipster douchebag, in its infinite smugness, knows that any and every attack against it must necessarily result from the attacking entity being out-smarted. Ergo: Boganomics 1, Grand Imperial Wizard of the Hate Media 0. Well, you certainly got the better of the Hate Media this time (or trashmedia kraken or outrage porn portal or whatever it’s called). Maybe next time, de Milo et al could drop the pseudonyms, and truly bask in the glory of their humourless satire. I doubt it, though.

8 06 2011
James Hunter

lucidius,
Wow, so many words to say so little.

8 06 2011
Lucius

Yes, the modern-day bogan is a paragon of grandiloquence. Thanks for the feedback!

9 06 2011
martin

It’s interesting that we don’t have many turgid intellectuals here making specious posts. Bag O is very verbose but he actually makes good points and has geniune conviction.

I guess they realise that they’re bogans too.

9 06 2011
Davo

He’s fully smart to the maxxtreme.

9 06 2011
AntiPajero

We get the occasional wannabe.

I must ask, though:

1) Does the demand to know (or an assumption made of…) the identity, location or profession of a posteralways signal an impending ad hominem?

…And 2) does indulging in ad hominem signal an admission that whatever your argument was supposed to be, it is simply not strong enough to stand on its own..?

9 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

1) Yes
2) Yes

9 06 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
Please do not upset Pete Babe !!!!!

9 06 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh James Hunter, you’re an anarchist with utopian ideas!

12 06 2011
moar caek

I thought that was me.

12 06 2011
James Hunter

Moar,
watch it ! we can not have two anarchists. we would never agree on anything !!

12 06 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, what with the BBQ’d snags and edgy stage costume (which is little more than resort wear in Lower Dogpatch) you’re maxtreme enough to warrant a double helping of anarchy.

9 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Like the facelift AP!

10 06 2011
Lucius

Now listen here ProLimpDickPissWeakShitBox.. sorry, give me a sec, just parking my Toorak Tractor. Aaaaand… parked. Atmosphere: raped. Self-satisfaction: climaxing. Where was I? Oh yeah- ad hominem. You’re right, just because you drive some greenie libtard hybrid doesn’t mean your argument is invalidate. It just means you’re an embarrassment to your family/country/race/species. However, an equally abused fallacy is the argumentum ad hominem ergo fallacium, whereby an argument is presumed to be poorly supported due to the presence of ad hominem. This is a clear fallacy. For instance, just because I dish out brilliantly acerbic attacks on your choice of automobile, or your choice of tattoo, or your anonymity, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have a valid argument against you or people with tribal tattoos or people who choose to remain anonymous.

And yes, before you ask, my name really is Lucius, Lucius Pseudovitch.

10 06 2011
James Hunter

Lucidius,
It is the Psudo part of the moniker that makes us wonder.

10 06 2011
Lucius

What.. how did you..? Oh blast, I must remember that I am submerged amongst the highest order of intellect here at TBL. Even masterful disguise-o-nyms like that won’t cut it. I feel quite the fool.

10 06 2011
James Hunter

Lucidius,
So all is clear we now know you are the son of (vitch) someone else (psudo) hmmm or are you simply saying you do not know who your dad is ? Or that perhaps your dad does not know who he is.
Glad we got that all sorted !!!

10 06 2011
Lucius

Lol wtf man I don’t know any french ay…

11 06 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, there are those whose father should have shot them – all over the sheets.
Just sayin’.

8 06 2011
Poor Farmer

…and what have you changed via words that have no meaning but unto yourselves? Your cure is actually the disease. This in essence is the impotence of the literati and will continue to be so until you realise you cannot correct from a distance. You correct from close quarters and that which shows risk… in other words you communicate,

9 06 2011
Cody

I’m a long-time reader, and I see part of their point. While the site might be satire about treating people like bogans, at the same time I think myself and others probably do get used to reading it as us vs them and it stems from a desire for inter-class conflict.

I’m comfortable with that though.

9 06 2011
Ash - Glassin' 2 Carnts For Every VB Drunk

Well, to break the gloom, here’s this week’s A Carnty Affair. I promised a bogan tale, and I deliver. With a special guest appearance from Maxx Marxxon.

http://tinyurl.com/3bphl4d

9 06 2011
Edward

Yes, Kim Duthie strikes again. I am particularly struck by her plea to respect her private life. The solution seems obvious to me. For Gods sake stop throwing petrol on the fire, Kim ! Fire is hot. It can burn you. Fire bad !

Honestly, she is going to have to move to wherever Paddington Bear came from (Darkest Patagonia ?) to have any semblance of a normal life after all this.

9 06 2011
Ash - Glassin' 2 Carnts For Every VB Drunk

Darkest Peru, Edward. I used to love Paddington Bear. Hell, still do.

What did you think of the article?

9 06 2011
Edward

Well you are a Moravian Swearing-Bear, but M.S-Bs have an integral place in the ecology. It’s topical, and amusing.

9 06 2011
Edward

Edit: I think I mentally blanked the picture the first time round. Now where is that unsee button ?

9 06 2011
Ash - Glassin' 2 Carnts For Every VB Drunk

Oh yeah, other warning – my mods, in what I can only imagine is a sick joke on their part, have stuck one of the infamous pics with the article. So defs NSFW.

9 06 2011
urbanreverie

With a name like “A C#$ty Affair” it’s NSFW anyway! 🙂

Good work, Ash. I’m sure your thoughts on Aussie Rules will get all the AFL fanbois here all hot and bothered and aiming their nuclear-armed Sherrins in the general direction of Sutherland Shire.

10 06 2011
Ash - Glassin' 2 Carnts For Every VB Drunk

Let them have it. I highly doubt even a nuclear-powered Sherrin could make it past the city limits of Melbourne doing that hand-bat thing they do with them.

11 06 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Hey urban, noticed your substituted characters for Ash’s show…kinda reads to the eye as “A Crusty Affair”

Hey, that’s a good term…the misguided folk who have a proclivity to air their dirty laundry at 6:30 PM on either distended organ of the Trashmedia Kraken could be well described a bunch of crusties!

Otherwise urban, try using ü (option-U, then type “u”) and ñ (option-N, then type “n”) to get past the moderation Pearly Gates of St Peter to avoid doing time moderation Purgatory, or even NSFW filter Hell. I’m not sure what the Windows equivalent is (before people scoff at my Mac-using ways, I have been on this platform for about fifteen years with digital graphics, well before Steve Jobs returned with the iMac and its affiliated iRevolution), but that helps…never had an issue using those for words like “firetruck” or “currant”, at least here on TBL. But I do feel that “A Crusty Affair” is entirely appropriate!

11 06 2011
Pendant

You’ll only find umlauts and accents on Windows if you use the Character Map program (installed by default), or you can change your keyboard layout to US – International, then certain keys (‘ ” ` ~) become modifiers for the following letters.

12 06 2011
urbanreverie

Or, Pendant, you can memorise some of the Alt+ codes … like the French E in café is Alt+130, or the degree sign in 33°56’23″S is Alt+0176.

They’re the only two I’ve memorised though, because I use them regularly. And believe me, doing surveying at uni, you need Alt+0176 all the bloody time. And the other guys in my class are amazed at how quickly I can type degree signs when writing technical reports, and I tell them how I do it, and I ask them how they’ve been doing it, and they all say “Oh, I just type out lower-case O and highlight it then click the superscript button in MS Word ….”

So Turnips, I think I’ll stick to shifting the number keys if I want to cover up a swear word I find disagreeable (and I am no prude, I swear all the time online and IRL, but I draw the line at openly typing c$%t without a good reason, and I never say it IRL either … like I said, I’m not a prude, but there are lines to be drawn in the sand, and that’s not a line I am willing to cross … yeah yeah yeah, I know, Bogue says “Ururughghurughgkurrghnt!” and “kyurnt”all the time, but that’s just me trying to accurately portray how Bogue expresses his bottomless anger and his refusal to take responsbility for the consequences of his own actions!)

13 06 2011
Bag O'Turnips

I tend only to use profanities strictly in context, where an expletive is exactly that, used as either a quote or when something needs to be spelt out with four letters for maximum impact. Expletives are only of real use use when purple prose just doesn’t cut it, when one is so exasperated from when the other person in the conversation will not make any effort to understand when calling a spade simply as such…the only language some comprehend is that of the blue variety.

The slapdash overuse of profanities is a sure hallmark of boganism, no arguments there. On the surface of it, one could argue that in this day and age, there’s no real reason for people of any socioeconomic circumstance in Australia to be functionally illiterate, to end up possessing only a minimal vocabulary consisting primarily of sms-speak and swearing. And sure, it can be hard to get ahead when you’re in a situation where very few to nil in the way of positive active role models being there to steer you away from perpetuating another generation of disadvantage, and educators (along with their facilities) can only do so much to fill the void created by those parents who cannot fulfil their duties in something resembling a responsible manner; there’s no absolute prescriptive way to raise children, but there are a few immutable behaviours that are universally scorned as active neglect and abuse by almost every culture and subculture of humanity, almost all of whom have a vested interest in raising their young into adults who have the faculty to maintain and improve the culture they identify with.

But this behaviour of unsavoury language really is only a small symptom of the greater malaise of modern mainstream culture, where there’s an emergent underclass that are not some small aberrant group that can easily be ignored by the nice middle-class types, but growing in number and sweep, their entropy concealed by the trappings of consumer culture; these people are good little consumers, purportedly doing their bit for the economy, so they must be alright (and they too believe that they can’t be wrong, given the validation to prove as such). Such is the suction of its undercurrent, some of those otherwise provisionally preordained to be fully-franchised members of the middle-class, end up transforming into the modern version of the bogan, either as CUBs or NaBs. Suburban dystopia made manifest as the perfect consumerist beast.

Oh dear. Off on one of my deconstructive ethnoboganographic observations again. In essence though, the overuse and abuse of profanities is one organ of the beast unintentionally created by the cult of hyper-individualism, whereby a whole group of people think themselves to be nonconformists, only to end up becoming a tangible negative collective construct unto themselves, by acting in the same boorish manner as each other.

Methinks I disappeared up my own jacksie for while there…let me pull my head out.

13 06 2011
James Hunter

BOT,
You sounded like Socrates as in Plato’s book of the republic #4
So whats new ?

14 06 2011
Bag O'Turnips

SNAFU for me, then 🙂

(Ha ha, didn’t quite swear, courtesy of an euphemistic acronym!) Not quite as well read as I’d like to be, but no doubt I’d be able to get something out of it, if not validating some of my thought processes in interpreting those classical works.

At least it’ll work as an anti-bogan repellent, James…one squirt of Socrates, and the bogans are gone.

16 06 2011
Mick

It’s pronounced So-crates

14 06 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter, that comment reads like it came from your diary entitled Better Living Through Chemistry.

22 06 2011
Mark M

Ah yes. Culture “Warriors” like Tim Blair love to fuel the flames of resentment. They particularly love to point out that the world is divided into two groups

1. The left leaning intellectual elite that think they know everything with their Uni degrees and all that reading and stuff, but have no real grasp on the “real” world of the bogan
2. The bogan who learnt everything in the “real” world, in the school of hard knocks.

Climate change is, of course, a complete disaster for the bogan. The AGW theory seems to come from all the areas they love to hate: Greeny ecowarriors, lefty pinko do-gooders and last of all, scientific geeks who were heaps smarter than them at school. Oh… and don’t forget the “government” who want to impose a great big new tax.

Tim’s job, it seems, is to make the bogan feel comfortable in it’s ignorance, it’s insecurities and it’s fear. Just don’t talk about Dame Murdoch though Tim. That would perhaps be a career limiting move I imagine

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