#229 – Your Favourite Bar

30 05 2011

You probably think your favourite bar is too well hidden, too small and contains too many bearded patrons to ever appear on the bogan’s colonisation radar. An oasis of reason amid an ever expanding desert of bogan-inflicted chaos, your favourite bar is one of few remaining places with immunity to the boganic plague. Run by an owner-operator, it might host some low key live tunes, and is probably even within walking distance of your house. There is no dress code. There are no commercial remixes. No one ever tries to fight you. It’s never too full. There is no ‘list’. And there is never a line to get in.

But be warned. The bogan is coming. Once content with mass glassings and gropings to a top 40 remix soundtrack at high capacity beer barns located on major arterial roads and shopping strips, the bogan now has an inkling that it is missing out on something. Like a child coveting the toy that the other kid has because the other kid has it, the bogan wants to take your favourite bar from you not because it really wants it, but because it doesn’t want you to have it.

The bogan will learn of your favourite bar when the trashmedia report that an actor from Underbelly went there once. Like a moth to your computer screen in a dark room, the bogan will not be able to resist but get in your way. When the invasion begins, you will at first passively resist. If you just ignore them, they’ll have no reason to bother you, and they will soon realise that it’s not their scene, you will think to yourself.

But things will soon begin to change. Despite the bar’s stunning variety of local and imported beers, Corona and Becks will dominate sales, along with any kind of explosive beverage. Orange-skinned femme-bogues will start dancing in the middle of the place, even though there is no dancefloor and it’s never really been a place where people dance. They will then get bored and complain loudly that they’ve “never heard this song before. Play some Kings of Leon!’ Drinks will cost more after bashings and glassings see the bar attain ‘high-risk’ status leading to higher liquor licensing fees, and bogans are willing to pay for more for far inferior drinks. Finally, your favourite bar will be purchased by a football player, or Woolworths, and turned into a pizza bar.

Game Over.

PS: Check out last week’s post at Macrobusiness, which we forgot to link to last week…


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180 responses

30 05 2011
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. My favourite bar is in the western wing of the ancestral manse.

30 05 2011
Captain from CDU the band

My dear Fiona! your first mistake is calling it a west wing. Call it a far south wing or whatever, but calling anything west gives it that “other side of the west gate” feel.

30 05 2011
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What brings you here Captain? How ever did you manage to get past Corio Bay?

10 09 2011
1

I live on the Western side of the West gate. Nice place, right next to the beach, whoops i shoud not tell you that.
Afterall you all might move here, and then it will not longer be authentic. Whatever authentic means?
Anyways, most of these kinds of bars generally have dress codes i find. These dress codes often consist of skinny jeans, t-shirts and vans. If one rocks up in something unusual such as a shirt or dress shoes, they are made to feel unwelcome due to their non-comformity. That is if they get in of course.

30 05 2011
Robbie

LOL FOT!

30 05 2011
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. FoT is the preferred form, if you must abbreviate.

30 05 2011
James Hunter

Fi,
OI understood the gardener had a pretty good bar too ??

30 05 2011
Peter Thornton

Oh, James Hunter! Your favourite bar is any bar that’s open and serving schooners of Fruity Lexia.

31 05 2011
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. True. He was always trying to enter it via the tradesman’s entrance too.

30 05 2011
snerd

Oh gods. Oh gods. Guh. Can’t breathe, crying to hard with rage and bitterness. Bile! Blood! Nnngggg.

30 05 2011
Captain from CDU the band

So true. I remember Melbourne once being like that idealic local bar

30 05 2011
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Melbourne was once like Australia’s favourite bar, and now Toorak is like Melbourne’s favourite bar.

30 05 2011
Brimstone

Hate it when bogans wander into Newtown. Also related: going to a gig and realizing the band is popular with, say, English backpackers.

30 05 2011
Michael

Fortunately my favourite bar, The Coogee Bay Hotel, will never be over-run by bogans.

30 05 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

Because it already is a bogan hub?

I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard enough tales of bogan league player behaviour there. Mates who have say that it’s always packed with Jersey Shore wannabes also.

30 05 2011
chubbybloodfart

I think he’s being a little facaetious Ash.

30 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Chubbs,

Here is a pregnancy present for you and Edna.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

aww simon.
you are just It. srsly.
my wife is gurgling some gibberish about if we weren’t married and you weren’t married blah blah blah.
chicks.
she’d be dissapointed. I have an absolutely enormous penis.
unfeasibly large.
we met our impending baby Daughter via ultrasound yesterday. just amazing.
I cried.
a little bit.
(if you tell anyone I’ll put vaseline on your rims)

no, wait. you have hydraulics, right?

1 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I knew you would appreciate that one Chubs, could be the pinnacle of their output, and a Neil cover to boot.

That’s pretty cool, can Nimrod be a girls name? Or do we need to feminize it Nimrodette, ugh.

No hydralics on road bikes, too heavy!

6 06 2011
Pat from The Rak

one of those lycra road bike wankers, im not sure if thats better or worse than a tool with hydraulics, nothing to be proud of Simon. Simon says ” “i’m a doosh bag”.

14 04 2014
Ienai

Hey! I like road bike wankers!
Even the snotty ones with 15,000 Italian bikes, and shaved legs!
Its the ones with 15,000 bikes and two dollars legs ( cycling, the new corporate golf ) that suck.

6 06 2011
Pat from The Rak

Im not sure whose better or worse the fully sick tools with hydraulics, or the over the hill, grey haired saggy skinned toffs holding there skin up in lycra “roadbike” suits. Riding along the hwy’s of brighton in a chained like formation riding not only their road bike but the next chap infront of them up the clacker. Riding a roadbike is nothing to be proud of simon, maybe between the chaps in your “road” bikey group, while your having a pre-ride tea party and admiring keif’s new agapantha’s you can pat each other on the back for all wearing lycra and riding “roadbikes”, but not in a public forum, you Nimrod!

2 06 2011
Vviv2

A little girl….Well done Chubbs & Edna!
I really, REALLY hope you’re still posting somewhere in 15 years or so Chubby, I’d like to think my faith in karma is justified.

Best of luck guys, I hope you’re all blooming! 😛

30 05 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

I don’t read internet sarcasm very well.

30 05 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

Thankfully all the Shire bogans are too busy getting their cheap thrills at the Cronulla places to ruin my favourite drinking establishments.

30 05 2011
lolplates

Boyle street and the Royale for me!

30 05 2011
shakPower

alas the tale is all too familiar, living in queensland i have been thru this for the last 6-7 years. every single place we like seems to be taken over in a few months then its time to move again, we’r like nomads. might have to do what homer did , turning his basement into a bar to have drinks with mates bogan free

30 05 2011
Abudhabilist

As opposed to going blind, then writing epic poetry?

30 05 2011
belindie

Is that the Pinnacle? Sorry, but that’s always been a bit of a bogan bar…

‘Tis indeed! It’s the local of one of our number (well, one of a few). We feel it is a good example of keeping a delicate balance in place. Perhaps a few older-generation, good old-fashioned drunks hanging out, sure, but hardly an Elwood t-shirt would grace its august floorboards. TBL

30 05 2011
v'visexxion

North Fitzroy Pinnacle? I assume by the shape of the room?? I walk past it daily. Never seen soul in there. At least during daylight hours.

30 05 2011
Ryu

love it.

when preppies started showing up in fitzory bars years ago i knew it was time to move on.. unfortunately they seem to be following.

30 05 2011
v'visexxion

The last decent place to drink in Fitzroy was the Punters Club and now thats
a distant memory.

30 05 2011
Danny

I met my darling wife there! (Sheds nostalgic tear)

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

awww.
I met my wife in drug rehab.
not as easy to tell that story.

3 06 2011
Ryu

i had a massive crush on my counsellor in rehab.. she’d listen to me no matter what.. (probably because she got paid to, but hey)

30 05 2011
JimC

True, true…

There’s nothing decent, enjoyable and civil that the bogan can’t (and won’t) ruin given the chance. Especially with all those bottles of Pure Blonde mixing with the five cans of Mother already consumed during the day.

30 05 2011
Bruce

Another brilliant post.

This is why I drink at home. That way I only have to worry about the bogans next door. And across the road. And over the back. And doofing down the street.

Happy thoughts.

30 05 2011
Vivv

‘Orange-skinned femme-bogues’
hahahahahahah. A couple of these and their male bogue companions walked into my restaurant in the Casino, last Saturday night. Took some time before they realized it was Chinese food, therefore walking out after. Don’t worry though, they didn’t forget their Coronas.

30 05 2011
Vviv2

Seems there’s a hat trick of us on here now…. Good taste obviously follows the name 😛

30 05 2011
jaydyn

Love it.

Though I do this in reverse, invade bogan clubs and demand they play some obscure pitchfork hyped band of the month.

30 05 2011
Davo

My locals getting worse. When will it end.

30 05 2011
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. When a footballer buys it and turns it into a pizza er, “restaurant” (for want of a better word).

30 05 2011
Davo

We had Barry Hall in a couple of weeks ago.

30 05 2011
Tone

My favourite pub in Adelaide has a strict ‘no crap on tap’ policy. If a patron requests a Corona or Becks, they are told to sod off and go to the pub down the street.

31 05 2011
Shazza

Matilda Bay’s pubs in Freo and Perth were doing that to patrons who dared to request VB, Swan or Export in the late 80s, but only because MB was serving its own brews rather than to vet patronage.

Then again, there was also a strict NO-Barnesy edict on piped music.

30 05 2011
Vviv2

Great post, as always TBL….
All in all, I find it easier to stay out of pubs, except a few of the outback establishments. The biggest downside to them, being the only music they have is Slim Dusty or something just as horrendous.
Once saw a young guy in Mitchell (Qld) Doof Doofing down the main drag with Dwight Yokum blasting through his sub-woofer…. Laughed ’til I cried

30 05 2011
chris - If you glass us, do we not bleed?

Shout out to my rust-belt brothers and sisters who seem to be absent atm: The Highway Inn. Up until a few years ago a pretty benign OSB watering hole – transformed into a festering boil on the arse of Lucifer himself. God how I despise that sh#t hole.

30 05 2011
chubbybloodfart

HWY?
on anzac?
are we in the same town?
gawd. I’ve been past a lot, but never been in. It looks a lot like the footballer has already bought it.
geez. I don’t have a local. I’ve given up for the time being in solidarity with the Beloved.
If I had to choose I might have said the ‘Sceptre.
but it’s been a while. I like Driller’s gig too, but it gets pretty bogan being pretty much the only place in the city which kicks on on a weeknight. I wouldn’t go ‘out’ on the weekend any more for a bet.
give me a secret bush doof.

30 05 2011
chris - If you glass us, do we not bleed?

Yup. That’s the one.

30 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I went there recently, they had the awards dinner for the National Veterans Cycling.

Just confirming, I went there!

30 05 2011
chris - some of my best friends are bogans

Ahh… the vets. The Ulysses MC of the lycra brigade.

30 05 2011
Tone

The Highway was much less irritating when it was just an OSB watering hole with a ‘grab a granny’ night.

30 05 2011
SHerb

I fear for the day the bogan discovers that there are much better alternatives to the mega brewed, mass marketed lagers that dominate many bars. Many a fine bar will be ruined if this day comes

30 05 2011
belindie

Once a bar goes bogan it’s incredibly hard to de-bogue. Take Young and Jacksons – Fosters spent millions bitching it up and raising the prices in the hope that it would become a little too pricey for the regular bogan… but little did they know that the wave of cashed-up bogans would eventually drag it back, sticky carpeted and soaked in VB, to its common roots.

The same goes for most things that start out classy but become boganified. The energy required to de-bogue is greater than the energy required to boganify. I call it “Bogan entropy” or “bogantropy”.

30 05 2011
Benny Hill

Oh how we laughed

30 05 2011
Mark Gaffey

I spent many years watching run down beer barns transform to become cashed up beaugannette hunting grounds, thus attracting more beaugannes than were previously in attendance in the blood bath days of the early eighties. I Now no longer indulge in any form of alcoholic beverage, nor do I frequent licenced establishments at all. I have had my fill of maintaining the coffers of the alcohol and tobacco barons. I have also become exceptionally passe about filling the governments ever increasing stockpile of ill gotten tax dollars. The odour of stale beer, urine and vomit on ever increasingly squelchy/sticky carpet has somehow lost it’s allure as I have gracefully aged.

30 05 2011
HappyFriend

This is exactly what happened to the Blackwood Hotel.
I used to take my infant kids there.
They’ve had many glassings and fights in the last few months.
(I kid you not)
Locals get king-hit by blow ins regularly.
The bogans have even persuaded the local member Catherine King to transfer the Post Office there!
Care to step in bogan spew as you get your mail? It happens every day!
The town newspaper is full of bogans.
Cover to cover.
You can’t get your photo in it unless you are holding a can of beer!
Thak God I don’t live there.

30 05 2011
martin

Libtards have the best bars. I’ll give them that. But their suburbs are pokey, smoggy and shit.

Not sure if I prefer bogan bars or yuppy bars though. Probably bogan bars. Because yuppies often bring out the bogan in me and I want to bash them. Like at The Establishment in Sydney with all it’s gordan gecko wannabes. Or being given your change on a plate by some ice cold gold digger princess, what a wank.

30 05 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

I went to the Ivy last weekend for a friend’s birthday party.

I’m never allowed back and I don’t wanna go anyway.

31 05 2011
martin

So what happened Ash? Can’t you say?

31 05 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

You figure it out. I started opining loudly on how shit the place was to start, although I think the eviction bit came when I started hitting on a barmaid and pointing out what I thought of her equally loudly when I got shot down.

Alcohol brings out the bogue in all of us though.

2 06 2011
martin

I thought maybe some meathead had given you a death stare and you decided to take him on. You would have been my hero if you had.

2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

They didn’t let me stay long enough to get that drunk.

31 05 2011
Blueballs

I thought I was the only one that defaults to ‘Bogan’ when faced with wanker yuppies in their natural environment… Thanks, Martin, I’ve being carrying this shame for years “omg, perhaps I am a bogan… why me God, WHY!”

2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

I default to bogan when around yuppies or hipsters.

2 06 2011
martin

I guess you could call it being bogan when faced with breathtaking arrogance and pretentiousness. Although by TBL’s definition *they* are the bogans.

I don’t default to bogan when surrounded by hipsters, I’m usually open minded, they usually have something interesting to say and I might learn something.

2 06 2011
p'bee

the ivy and establishment and other justin hemmes-owned and similar places are all pretty much cub, though, aren’t they?

3 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

Totally. And hell on Earth. Kinda like Canberra, only more of an orange hue floating over the place.

30 05 2011
Give a toss

seriously though the Mean Fiddler has it all…

1 06 2015
Powerlounge

Once upon a time the Mean Fiddler was one of the greatest pubs on earth.

Then Kellyville happened.

30 05 2011
Danny

TBL, whatever and whoever you are, great satire. May I suggest, “Blogging Behind a Veneer of Utter Crap”? Fiona of Toorak? Please. That identity could belong to any range of gender, age, social standing, state of mind etc. The society we live in today can mean that an alias who’s sole claim to fame is LOL could become a personality. Second thoughts, no, that would require vision.

17 06 2011
$hruglife

Cool story, Hansel.

31 05 2011
Rudolf_Belka

The perfect way to protect a bar from bogans is to add spoken word poetry to it. Or have no front door access.

31 05 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Thankfully we have such a venue in Northbridge that us of the anti-bogan brigade can safely venture into, namely “The Moon”, though you have to dodge the hipsters.

I think the Saturday afternoon poetry sessions (of which I’m a regular at) aid in keeping the place inoculated against that virulent strain of opportunistic colonisers that the modern NaB and CUB (or worse still, the NaCUB superbogan, a direct consequence of both the isolation and easy money of mining in Perth, thus a peculiarly nefarious strain in circulation) are. And I’m doing my bit by dispensing prophylactic poetry.

Not that the Beaufort and William Street strips of the inner-Northeast of Perth are entirely protected from this bubonic plague of humanity—though our co-morbidity of prevalent hipsterism has ameliorated some of the potential of infection of the ebogan virus—for an ex-footballer, namely Peter Bell of the Fremantle Dockers, has set up an “upmarket” (read “NaCUB”) bar, “Malt”, on Beaufort Street in Mt Lawley.

Don’t worry, some of us here who also frequent the TBL-approved blog The Worst Of Perth have already given the joint on Teh Arrondissement a new sobriquet, “Enders”, as in bellend (geddit?).

I’d like to go only once, but purely in pursuit of the greater good, insomuch as to survey a sophistimicated ethnoboganographic viewing opportunity and to add to TWOP’s subtle whiteanting efforts to undermine this clarsy “supper club” edifice, by seeding anti-bogan antidotes, such as asking for proper local brew, rather than the du jour locally-brewed foreign-brewed swill for starters.

31 05 2011
r. jett

Ha! take that beardo’s. You all are a festering pustule that ruins all good bars. As much can’t stand bogans, I equally can’t stand tosser beardo’s either.

31 05 2011
chris - If you glass us, do we not bleed?

This is for you, champ.

31 05 2011
Vviv2

Love it Chris. I’m sure the bogan would vote it one of it’s national songs 😛

31 05 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

I refuse to drink anywhere where there are hipsters either. My glassin’ paw starts to twitch.

31 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Ash, from what we hear of your drinkin exploits your glassin paw is rarely undisturbed!

I’m to old for bars now, either they are crowded and I can’t hear what is going on and I f*ckin hate being pushed and jostled and having to line up for a drink, or they are full of sad old drunks and poker machines.

I prefer a good meal and a chat instead, plus I need to be in bed by 9.30!

I love hipsters, they are hilarious.

31 05 2011
V'visexxion

Me too Simon, I started going out to bars and clubs at about 13 years old. By the time I turned 30 I couldnt think of anything worse than seeing the same old shit rehashed with a few more flashing lights….. And sadly enough, if I’m not in bed. By 9.30 pm , I get grumpy. Only exception is live theatre and music, as long is it is on fri or sat night.

31 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

We need to move to a retirement village!

The real purpose of going to bars is mating, once that is done the interest wanes in my experience. I object to paying $7 for a beer coz I’m a tightarse and then you spill half of it when a pissed 21 y old stumbles into you anyway.

31 05 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

I try to control it, but when you spend 99% of your life around either bogans or libtards or hipsters (or some combinations of all three), one develops a very trigger-happy glassin’ paw.

I suppose I’ll be saying the same things as y’all in 15 years time…GOCs.

31 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Yep, as a 17-27 y old I rarely left bars, but never a nightclub person. Never really had a hangover till late 20’s either. But now if I have a blowout I suffer for 2 days, no fun at all. Will you come and visit V’v and I in the retirement village and regale us with stories of glassin and rootin?

31 05 2011
v'ivisexxion

Oh dear god, yes, its the hangovers that start appearing in your mid to late 20’s. They take nearly 2 full days to recover and you wonder what happened??

31 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I can’t be bothered, it’s not worth the recovery it takes.

I used to look at 40’s going home early and think softcock, that’s come back to bite me huh.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

I thought hangovers were mythology for a long time too.
I like to drink, but I don’t like to drunk. It’s half the reason I got so drug fu#ked. Alcohol is by far and away the worst drug I ever had I went off it at a young age. Strangely, I sort of came back to it when I had the opportunity to run a bar. And living where we do it would be just criminal not to sample the fermented grape. But I ease up and maintain when I get to “merry”
I have said b4 that drunkennessment is the sower of all boganity and stand by it.

1 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Yes, the wine industry NEEDS our support.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

it’s a public service.
we should make a list of REALLY QUALITY wines so that Bogans can help address the glut.
Rosemount, Hardy’s, De Bortoli, Jacobs Creek, any of the ones you see advertised on telly or bus shelters, that’s the good stuff.
Bogan Protip: stick to the bottles under $20. leave the expensive stuff for all the ponce with more money than sense. 😉

1 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Actually some of the reserve Jacobs is pretty ok, if you find it on special.

Bogans like Queen Adelaide though.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

yeah.
even yalumba can weigh in at the high end.
and rosemount.
but I have a wonder uo the other end of 1st Choice (unley road) periodically and just wonder who the hell is buying all this crap? all that jamieson’s run and poets corner and god knows what. It’s just horrible. I swear, ppl buy it and just pretend they like it because they know Wine is Clarssy.

1 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

http://www.honeymoonvineyard.com.au/index.html

Chubbs, if you want poncy try these. Friends of mine, ex Orlandos now doing their own boutique stuff. The Pinot and Shiraz will curl your toes up and the port is awesome. The 2008 is available I think but not listed. Stick it in the bottom cupboard for a few years esp the Shiraz.

1 06 2011
chris - some of my best friends are bogans

Sparkling Grange. Get some ole rotgut and fizz it up then sell it for $79 a bottle. Watch the CUBs go mental for the stuff, especially the 30- and 40- something she-bogues.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

cheers Si
wilco
strictly for research of course.
I’ll tip you Olivers Taranga.
a family of long term grapegrowers whose bright young kids have picked up many clues ’round the vale and colleges and wherever bright young kids pick things up.
rilly nice. very new world. very vale. spectacular shiraz, even young. they produce grapes for my other favourite down there too. apparently.
how good is the Vale eh?
I can get there in neutral from my place.
and the Valleys. and the Hills (Ashton Hills ;). I’m not trying to be a ponce, and I’m a (5yr?) novice, but I know enough that boutique single vineyard is where it’s at. what a treat to just tool over the hill and find the same grapes making a totally different wine.
you can bash Bordeaux up yer jacksie
I’m happy here.

1 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Chubs, nice poncing! My dad gets their stuff, he is way poncier than me and does not waste his money on expensive Italian Carbon Fibre.

Their stuff is agrade, love the tempranio.

I tend to buy specials off the interweb, but only interesting stuff, like some of the mixed dozens wines direct do, fits my budget and I get to try stuff I may not otherwise.

2 06 2011
moar caek
2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

Of course, dude.

I’m not a nightclub person at all myself.

31 05 2011
MeAgain

This bar sounds like that shithole in Melbourne called Royal Saxon or maybe The Social, both on Chapel Street.

Technically, the Royal Saxon is on Church. But yes, the words ‘recently renovated’ should instill fear in the heart of all those who fear the bogan incursion into pubs. TBL

31 05 2011
Keeping Kosher Klansman

Ah, the Royal Jaxxson…

One of a dozen bars where the football player and the nameless homme bogue who craves the fame-by-association that comes with king-hitting a football player can share a few awkward, ludicrously expensive beers… before someone gets hurt.

I can only imagine the resentment the aspirational bogue must feel when the red velvet rope parts at the whim of a sportsman, leaving the bogue to seethe at the back of the line and lament its lack of a fair go, getting dirty looks from its unimpressed femme bogue entourage (orange-tourage?)…

Well, nothing a cheeky skull from a concealed can of bourbon & coke can’t aggravate.

And if the homme bogue gets turned back by security, it can always king-hit someone who looks at it on its way home, then grab a Corona from its garish refrigerator, sit on its equally garish 24-month interest-free faux leather sofa, satisfied that it got the job done, and brag to its e-mates that it smacked someone who it reckons could’ve been a football player…

http://www.facebook.com/pages/King-Hitting-Collingwood-Players/204840742623

31 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Is it wrong that I am tempted to join that group?

31 05 2011
Karbon Kate Klansman

That’d be totally Random.

31 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

There is a special place in hell reserved for all things Collingwood.

31 05 2011
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Yes. It’s called “Collingwood”.

31 05 2011
Khloe Kardashian Klansman

Go Pies.

31 05 2011
Davo

Dane Swan deserves to be king hit. Not just because his names Dane but because be beat up some disabled cleaner from fed square.

31 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

He is an uberbogue.

31 05 2011
Krispy Kreme Klansman

Hey now, he’s learnt from his mistakes… and if TBL #120 has taught me anything, it’s that persons of public interest deserve a chance at redemption just that little bit more than the rest of us.

I believe some dude gave him a smack in the chops at a Southbank nightclub last year, after which Swan promptly left the premises, ran home, and never breathed a word about his loss (except to Mick Malthouse, who notified the press).

If only all of us could take Swan’s example; fill that unforgiving minute with 60 seconds’ worth of distance run, ours’d be the Earth, and everything that’s in it, and, which is more, we’d be men, my sons.

I’ve no doubt Swan had the those poignant words of Kipling (along with a couple of stray teeth) swirling through his head when he made that watershed, Gwyneth-Paltrow-in-Sliding-Doors-esque, career-defining decision to call it a night.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to assault a taxi driver, swipe his wallet, score some cocaine on the way to That St Kilda Schoolgirl’s place and ask her if she’d like to join me for casual sex and/or in an ill-advised fashion label venture.

Collingwood uber alles.

1 06 2011
Davo

Didak also learnt not to ride in cars with armed criminals.

31 05 2011
Bag O'Turnips

I had the good fortune of being behind a motorist in a Conformadore yesterday with a Collingwood numberplate (yes, in CUB Central DullsvillePerth, we do have personalised numberplates for not only West Coke and the Dongers, but for all AFL teams and most (I think) of the WAFL teams, in addition to those for the Wildpussies (NBL), Perth Gloryhole (A-League) and Western Farce (Rugby Union)…a plate for all bogan seasons), which had the character set of “0 (zero)-CFC”, which I’m certain would be the butt of many jokes for that driver, as that’d be the ideal scoreline that any supporter from the other 17 (including GWS) AFL clubs would love to see, not only against their own team, but any other team playing the ‘Pies.

Then again, you probably wouldn’t dare mock this supporter’s plate in their face, for most of us know how rabidly uncouth Collingwood fans can potentially be, flirting with the possibility that you may end up with a similar number of teeth to them (almost nil to zero) courtesy of a knuckle sandwich reply.

All the different AFL clubs have a unique set of supporters—here in the West, Eagles fans have something of a similar born-to-rule mindset akin to Wiberwal Party members (imagine how they wore their inaugural wooden spoon last year!), whereas Dockers supporters are not unlike those of Geelong until recently, where they’d be long-suffering fools tolerating their second-city mediocrity gladly (and we could go on about all the other clubs, but I’ll leave that maybe for another occasion!), but I think that in spite of even hard-bitten derby rivalries, most AFL members of other clubs can universally agree upon one thing: that they all hate the Black & Whites, period.

(Disclaimer: I don’t officially support any AFL team these days, as NaBs have successfully turned a working-class pursuit of sport completely into bought, but if forced, I’d rather don the purples of the port city (I also really like Fremantle as an area as such) than the spoilt-brat Weagles, but would prefer to watch the East Perth Royals of the WAFL, despite my strident republicanism, and though I’ll admit to revelling in the heady atmosphere of a live game, I don’t park my arse in front of (my still quixotically CRT) telly to waste three hours of my valuable time.)

31 05 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I’m a West Coast supporter, make of that what you will.

1 06 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Well, you are indeed…[pause]…a Constant Source Of Randomness.

I’m certain you don’t broadcast that fact too broadly in your neck of the woods…that’ll give both the Port Power and Crows supporters something they can unite with, beyond of course that common hatred of Collingwood (I know the Port fans will cite that both the Magpies name and the black-and-white strip originated with their SANFL team, so that gives them yet another reason to war on Collingwood FC).

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

I married into Collingwood.
so my unborn daughter goes for collingwood.
so you just step lightly youse people…
don’t dissing my li’l Gy’mpyhy.

1 06 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Oh wow, sorry Chub I didn’t know.

Modern science, surely there must be a cure?
Innoculation? Something.

The rest of my family are Crows so I love to embarrass them by wearing an Eagles jumper or scarf to games.

2 06 2011
moar caek

Simon I am simply turning them on to the League. I nod and smile when the pies are on. Although I did find myself jumping out of my seat and bellowing watching the GF 1.01 last year. Camping at a racetrack in the Northern Territory called PussyCat Flats we were. true. dudes playing golf past our tent. flattened the car battery trying to chill a wine cask in a 12v fridge.
where was I?
oh collingwood.
right.
whatever.

2 06 2011
Kwanzaa Kake Klansman

Not only has Didak learnt from his mistake, he’s sold his story to Hollywood. Sure, it’s by no means a done deal and there’ll likely be some legal hurdles yet, but word around Westpac Centre and Universal Studios is that Drew Barrymore will star in her most challenging role since Spunky Roller Derby Chick #8, as Alan Didak in “Riding in Cars with Armed Criminals”.

Eat your bleeding heart out, Carbon Cate, coz Drew’s Didak will trump your Dylan at the Oscars.

31 05 2011
devil's advocate

There was a place in Canberra called the private bin which was a long-lived stronghold of boganity. No matter how many times it changed names and owners, it would only go from bogan strength to strength. Between it and mooseheads, it pretty much kept the bogans neatly corralled.

Except for that brief period when mooseheads was off-line because it burned down. That was a weird old time in our little country town.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

oh wow.
I wound up at the bin yeeeeears ago one night. very long story.
but it was hysterical. what a pack of deadsh1ts. my (female) mate and I walked straight past the queue at the velvet rope, nodded at the bouncers with that smug sense of utter entitlement that bouncers acknowledge and passed a few hours stealing drinks from behind the backs of bogans writhing and gyrating to the likes of Dr Albarn’s “Sing Hallelujah”
to paraphrase Paris Hilton’s gynae – “my god what a hole”

31 05 2011
Mikhail K

“Local” (as in “locally produced) and “Stunning” re. ales seems to be a little of an oxymoron, for those of us who have had the pleasure of residing in Countries where Brewing Excellence is well established. Even Russian beers are better than Australian crap (actually, Russian / Ukrainian beers, e.g. Obolon, are quite excellent – as are real Ukrainian Vodkas, such as Nemiroff or Soyuz Victan). Looking forward to returning to Cherkassy for the beer alone!!

31 05 2011
Davo

Good. Piss off.

31 05 2011
B. Yeltsin

I am agreeing with Mikhail regarding oxymoron and number one Ukranian vodka. Everybody dance now.

1 06 2011
Davo

Put on white suit and go disco dance.

1 06 2011
B. Yeltsin

Excusing me Mr Davo. Boris is number one rock n roller and Ukranian Chick Magnet. Not white suit-wearing disco bum boy like John Travolting. Is vodka time.

1 06 2011
Davo

Yeltsin could out drink the whole of Russia. Thats how he became president.

2 06 2011
moar caek

who else you think turn out lights and lock door when everyone else falling over?

2 06 2011
B. Yeltsin

Yeltsin spills more that Mr Davo can drink. And what is wrong with silly “moar caek” person? He spells like Yeltsin after long morning tea. Moar caek? Pah! Moar vodka!!!

2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

Hey now, don’t diss Boris.

I just wish our leaders could match his amusement factor in the same way they match his incompetence.

2 06 2011
B. Yeltsin

Yeltsin wishes to offer Mr Ash Glassinknuts senior position in new politburo. Is thinking Security Minister. Every day vodka happy time and go-go dancing.
Stop… Boris time.

2 06 2011
Kyle Korver Klansman

You’re filled with the vodka of human kindness, Mr President. Putin isn’t fit to choke on your swizzle stick…

Though I’m betting he’s fit enough to look better than you bare-chested on horseback… especially nowadays.

2 06 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

Fook Boris, it’s good to see you up and about, I thought you would have been fully pickled years ago ya coont.

2 06 2011
James Hunter

Liam Monobrow, What kind of name is Monobrow ?
Are you perhaps related to John Howard ? He had a wicked Monobrow ! At least before his P A started trimming it so he could see the TV cameras.

2 06 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

Ya fookin geriatric poofter, I’m the king of Rock.

*you’re my wonder waaaalllllll*

see!

2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

I am honoured that you would consider me, and I accept.

Is the vodke provided or is it BYO?

2 06 2011
Davo

I’d love to see Yeltsin drink 20 vodka red bulls. He could disco dance all night baby.

4 06 2011
Davo

Considering that Aussies have only been making beer for 150 years, and we are the forth biggest beer consumers in the world per capita, what the fck is Europes excuse for the piss they produce. Every Eurotrash lager tastes like cat piss and Cascade. If i wanted a beer that tasted like cascade with cat piss in it, i would move to Europe, but at least i would show some respect. Every white suit wearing rapist from Europe wants to come to Australia for a better life and then tell us how everything in Europe is better.

31 05 2011
Poider

Seem to remember Ruby’s, a lounge & alternative music establishment in Shuffler Central aka Belgrave, announcing itself as “An oasis in a desert of bogans”. Still brings a smile!!

1 06 2011
Baba Des

That must have been when it opened. Ruby’s fell to the bogan hordes many years ago; it now has a cover charge, a velvet rope and has been the scene of more than one glassing.

2 06 2011
Poider

Hi Des, I remember the MAXXSTREEEM grief you & your neighbours suffered at the hands of the local Bogan yoof. If they have souls, I would be astounded!!

31 05 2011
Blueballs

General rule of thumb: Any establishment with a row boat inside it is bogan magnet… Think City Rowers in Brisbane

31 05 2011
Blueballs

There are exceptions to the rule, the Burvale never had a row boat suspended above the bar.

31 05 2011
Vviv2

True Blueballs, fires, murders, stabbings & shootings.

I’m surprised that the Burvale’s lasted as long as it has!

But never a row boat…. That would only lower the tone of the place!
😛

31 05 2011
urbanreverie

Hmmm, I have a tragic story on the decline and fall of a particular establishment …

I have a friend who is a member of a garage rock band. His band and I think one or two other like-minded groups pooled their resources a couple of years ago and rented a disused coffee warehouse in the city. It was extremely well hidden, being in the middle of a city block and requiring visitors to duck down a narrow unsigned alley between a Korean convenience store and a pen shop, turn right, then turn left again and squeeze under an electronic boomgate.

In the beginning it was a place to jam and hang out. Then a growing circle of friends was invited along to sessions and permitted to bring along their own drinks. Then word of mouth spread through the uni we both go to and some of my friend’s customers. Gradually, the live performance venue became quite popular and the jam sessions became standing-room-only gigs which charged admission to cover costs.

It was edgy and cool. There was little furniture apart from a couple of ratty old sofas stuck in the corners, just grey walls with some amateur murals, plenty of face brick and a neat little bookshelf with the weirdest, most eclectic collection of volumes I’ve seen. I’m not the world’s most gregarious person, and I don’t particularly like garage rock that’s played far louder than it need be, but I felt comfortable there and usually had a good time. “Chilled” and “easy going” were the words I would use to describe the atmosphere.

Then some dickhead, probably with the best intentions in the world, decided to create a Facebook page for the venue.

First came the femmebogue tartlets with glitter eyeshadow guzzling Bacardi Breezers. Then came the burly guys with bad attitudes in black t-shirts with plenty of Gothic letterpress.

Mind you, this place was never licensed, it was strictly BYO. Maybe that’s why bogans started to go there – all the benefits of being able to go to the city and get hammered and start fights and strut like a peacock at perhaps one-third the price of bar drinks.

The place became so busy, that the queues to go to the two toilets on the premises stretched from here to eternity. One night, a young bogan in hi-viz workwear, with not a single molecule of shame, walks straight to the head of the queue and barges his way into the toilet as soon as it became unoccupied. When somebody quite politely pointed out to him that he should wait like everyone else had for up to twenty minutes, he snapped.

“Yeah, and ooze gunna fargun make me, ya fargun kyurnt? I’ll fargun smash ya if you start on me, ya kyurnt!”

I haven’t returned since. I have answered my friend’s polite invitations with equally polite refusals to attend. In any case, the place recently closed and is being knocked down to make way for a new Tax Office building.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

tragic.
typical.
the best club I ever knew was a complete effing dive too.
no liquor licence. dealer bouncers.
back before the valley became a bloodbath.

1 06 2011
concern troll

Radio National’s Richard Aedy announced this morning that this Friday’s Life Matters June 3 program will explore the bogan phenomenon.
Unfortunately it looks like addressing the old-school beer swilling, thong wearing type. Here’s hoping some on the forum have time to set him straight. He did mention there will be talkback.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

neat.
maybe we can dig up an email for him?
I would but I’m off to the coal face.
and they dont have binary access at my coal face.
stoopid coal face.

1 06 2011
chubbybloodfart

(I run a comedy workshop at Minda, if anyone was wondering)

1 06 2011
chris - embedded correspondent in the dirty south

That ain’t no coal face, chubs. That’s a f*cking great granite wall. Kudos, brah, kudos.

1 06 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Thanks for that…I do sometimes listen to that programme, which in my field (disability and community services) is essential listening. Plus I do appreciate Aedy’s style in his interviewing: considerate and empathic, but never condescending nor cloying.

I’d have liked to listened to a live stream on the intertubes on Friday, but I’ll be at work overnight until 8 AM, so I won’t be able to phone in ,but will listen on the radio as we in CUB Central have a two-hour delay. Life Matters is broadcast at 0900 AEST (0700 AWST and 0830 ACST for live streams, 0900 in your location on ABC Radio National—the ultimate anti-bogan radio station); for Top Enders and Crow Eaters, you can phone in live, but only in the first 25 minutes on air due to the half-hour time difference.

For the Talkback line, call 1300 22 55 76; if you can’t get on live, there’s the listener feedback line on (02) 8333 1430, or you can leave comments on the webpage: the latter is what I’ll most likely do, for the written format best allows for my long-form exhortations/incoherent tangental ramblings, given that I often struggle with concise, though I do let the odd compact nugget through.

1 06 2011
moar caek

I say, that was a bit off. That bloodfart fellow cracking wise about the intellectually and or physically impaired like that. Good luck to you sir. No doubt at the dullest glow of awareness you are hilarious. If I were you I would completely change your identity for shame. And ‘bloodfart’? indeed. get many tweets up on qanda with that handle Champ? Goodness me. psychedelic mushrooms…
beat music. sunrise and miracle babies. have you considered the possibilty that you are psychotic sir? and the only reason you are not aware of it is that you don’t know what psychotic is? hmmm? it’s not all talking walls and bloodsport y’know.

anyway.
always with the quality information and the noteworthy view.
thankyou Mr Turnips.
in fact I might even be appreciative of an appraisal post fact if are so inclined.
What say you Fellows?
and you can still call me Chubby if you like.

2 06 2011
moar caek

bangin
not bad

2 06 2011
moar caek

bedtime choon.
sweet. delicious with Koss and imagination.

2 06 2011
moar caek

2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

I just finished planning my mate’s buck’s night (the wedding is two weeks away, but this was the only time everyone could get off work and we could plan everything right). Naturally, I had to take everyone’s suggestions into account which has made for some uber-boganity – you guys are gonna love this.

We’re starting off with go-karting (what the appeal of driving kiddie carts around a track when we can all drive grown up cars is, I don’t know, but like I said I’m just the planner) followed by a poker game where the loser has to wear a somewhat embarassing costume.

After that it’s Friday night footy – thankfully the NRL were kind enough to schedule a Sharks home game on this Friday night. Naturally, the game will be followed by a post-match drowning of sorrows at the leagues club where, if we are lucky, our married-to-be amigo will get some photos with the players.

After that, it’s to a certain Kings Cross strip club where I have contacts (the bouncer, DJ and one of the strippers are all friends of mine) and am therefore able to hook everyone up with cheap lap dances.

If any of us still have money, it’s off to Star City at where what little remains can be pissed away on black at the roulette wheel or on drunken blackjack. Once we inevitably get ejected from the casino, it’ll probably be the very wee hours of the morning so it’s off to stumble into cabs where I get to use my limited Hindi (or, hopefully, my passable Tamil if they speak it) to abuse cab drivers for everyone’s entertainment.

I suspect I will be needing to check into Bogans Anonymous after this.

2 06 2011
martin

Will there be lots of onomatopoeias?

It makes me glad I’m an anti-social, misanthropic bastard.

But go-karting is fun imo. As long as you have a good track and aren’t just going around in circles.

2 06 2011
Peter Thornton

You forgot to engage James Hunter to cook the late supper snags. For shame!

2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

Oh Petey Boy, if I invite you will you bring some Austrian Cabbage?

2 06 2011
James Hunter

Pete Babe,
When you stick up for me I become very nervous. What’s wrong ?

2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

Oh yeah, just as a way of letting off steam, here’s this week’s ACA.

http://duderocket.com/features/cunty-affair/00807-hating-animal-cruelty-more-racist

Again, not much bogan-bashing (if you guys sign up and comment more I promise I’ll do more of it – there will be one on something bogan next week fo sho) but I have snuck in our obligatory Bazza/Maddysyn street comments.

2 06 2011
Liam Gallaghers Monobrow

Nice Ash!

2 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

I appreciate the compliment, but I idolised Oasis as a teenager. I still love them.

2 06 2011
Vviv2

That’s very kool Ash!
Tell me you’re going to do something with your writing abilities when you graduate?

3 06 2011
Ash - In Yr Glassin' Barns, Glassin' Yr Carnts

Haha, that’s the hope Vviv. God knows I didn’t do political science with the hope of working in politics.

10 06 2011
Victory

The Coogee Bay Hotel is full of “Eastern Suburbs Bogans” which believe me really do exist. In some ways they are the worse because they are so full of pretensions.You don’t have to be from the West or South West to be a Bogan !

22 06 2011
ManishMuse

my lordy this happened to me last week!! I wanted a man free evening at the local lesbian bar – Labiation on Brunswick st… Lo And frickn Beho BOGAN males barge into this sacred space and start infiltrating a group of women as if they were entitled to the space.. penetration of that space.. literally shoved one of the girls aside and demanded that she make room for them. I walk to the bar to get a drink and as try to get through back to my couch these sick bogan dickheads start dancing sexy at me! I felt so angry, I gave them the dirtiest look,,, we’re clearly in a LESBIAN bar… why would I want to dance sexy with a dude, when he for all obvious reasons would assume I was a lesbian. Meanwhile this group is infiltrated by more men,,, and are actually being spoken to by one of the idiot lesbians who I was so angry had allowed a conversation to occur, to the disgust of her friends around her. The breaking point, however, was when this straight femme-bogue starts dancing sexy in front of the straight male-bogue and he completely ignores her. She sits next to him. He continues to ignore her. And she says “ohhhhh” [sad face]

It was PATHETIC… and behaviour that I don’t need to see when I go to my local lesbian bar. GET OUT bogans and mate in your own designated straight habitats. My lordy, the nerve to think they could penetrate that space as if they were completely entitled to it.
Gendered space at its worse, but completely bogan too. Coz really who but a bogan would go to a lesbian bar and try to pick up lesbians…??

22 06 2011
James Hunter

Oh My you do have your knickers in a knot..
I thought we had all grown up enough to be past all this gender specific crap.

28 06 2011
ManishMuse

only ‘gender specific crap’ to those privileged by it. “knickers in a knot”? a very gender specific pejorative attack on my own personal experience of the bogan. You clearly have the intelligence of a bogan. well done.

22 06 2011
Vviv2

You surprise me MM.
If you were treated differently because you were a lesbian, I would agree with you,
You weren’t! We ALL have to tolerate the bogan, straight or gay.
Your outrage seems to indicate almost reverse sexism. He’s male, (albeit bogan), so should by rights be able to enter any public venue, just as you yourself can.
I would be just as vocal in your defence if you were made unwelcome in a ‘Straight habitat’.
Unfortunately, dickheads are universal, & inflict themselves on us all……

22 06 2011
James Hunter

Viv2,
zackery you said it more nicely then i did though.!

22 06 2011
Vviv2

AND James, I posted in the right place for a change!! 😛
Think I might have offended Mick last night by posting in the wrong spot, but hey, what can I say? The bundy made me do it……

22 06 2011
James Hunter

Vviv2′
If you were realy on Bundy you would not have found the right post !! Be like a blind dog !

28 06 2011
ManishMuse

they were bogans… these men were not respectful males enjoying the vibes of the bar. I thought bogan title was apt since they felt entitled to the space (re: laps of lesbian women). Of course you would defend my diatribe if it was about a “straight venue” – this is a conversation about local bars after all..
but my distinction that i thought I drew clearly was that an intelligent heterosexual non bogan male would not attempt to penetrate the space of women in obscene ways as the bogan did in my case (and as the bogan does on a regular basis in hetero clubs).
yes it inflicts horror on us all,,, but the sexual element, the obvious power the bogan derives from the performance of an aggressive heterosexuality is an issue that TBL has discussed before in various posts (‘homophobia’ comes to mind).
But if you want to attack me for bringing up a gendered characterisation of the bogan (with its focus on heterosexuality), then you really haven’t been reading TBL.

28 06 2011
Vviv2

Why do you think I’d want to attack you MM?
I don’t
I was simply pointing out that these idiots behave the same way whether they’re in a lesbian bar or in any other venue.
No, an intelligent hetro male wouldn’t attempt that behavior…. that’s what makes a bogan, bogan.
I can understand your outrage, anyone with a brain would object to being subjected to a bogan lap dance.

22 06 2011
Vviv2

Or an unobservant bitch….. 😛
Hmmmm

28 06 2011
ManishMuse

“bitch” ? you really have all the power now.

28 06 2011
Vviv2

That WAS a joke with James, please don’t take it any other way…. 😀

28 06 2011
James Hunter

Vviv2,
MM’s problems start with the name I suspect.not content to be a woman or even girlish the attempt at asexuality by using as a female, the term manish hints at either an undeveloped sexuality or an unhapiness with the feelings that developing sexuality engender (sic). Typical of a young person too full of other peoples ideas and usually short lasting as the realities of life and genetics take hold.
Mind you anyone who takes anything realy seriously on a satrical site like this probably has some sort of problem. Pete Babe excepted..

29 06 2011
ManishMuse

Sorry James,, it seems your ignorance of great literature due to poor education are at fault here. The “Manish muse” is a title that Horace – a Roman poet of the first century – gives to Sappho ( a Greek lyric poet of 6th century Lesbos)… she is labelled the “Tenth Muse” by Plato because of her wonderful poetry (there were nine muses in Greek myth). A Muse is a WOMAN in Greek and Roman myth, so not sure about the asexual comment your making..

Horace referring to Sappho as “manish” is hilarious… because in his time he couldn’t conceive of a a woman writing herself as the subject of her own desire. So you make even less sense to suggest that I have an “undeveloped sexuality” since I am well aware of my own subjectivity. You also have no idea how old I am. Aside from that it’s just a funny name and I like Sappho and I like Horace.

29 06 2011
James Hunter

MM
See you can make sensible talk when you want. 7 8 7 9 6

14 04 2014
Ienai

Your brain is HOT.
Throw in some Catullus and Its like Fifty Shades for Literary Chicks!
Bless your little cotton socks.

28 06 2011
Vviv2

True James, I really don’t think it’s worth the energy to argue… I’ve much better things to do with my time.
If what I said constitutes an attack, then I think MM needs to get out into the roil world even more than I do!

31 10 2011
Paul

In the capital city I live in I know of two bar owners who have set their bars up to prevent bogans from ever entering their premesis. Their choice of beers, wines, and spirits will not even give coverage to the bogan pallete. One place if they get call about a group booking will ask where the host or hostess shops if there is even a mention of a place that sells Ed Hardy or the female equivalent they get politely declined. Bogans can be prevented from your favourite venues if you have astute managers who know how to spot a bogan from a mile away.

31 03 2012
Cornelius P Wurlitzer

I do like the anti Ed Hardy discrimination Paul has written of. My views regarding this purveyor of filth are many and highly negative but not relevant right now. Years ago there was a bar in Prahran called The Duke of Windsor. it was dark, quiet, had some decent live music and I never found myself sonically or visually insulted by the presence of the bogan. This little place is now called The Lucky Coq. I still weep sometimes

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