Friday Boganomics – In defence of negative gearing

1 04 2011

Boganomics, along with its sister project Things Bogans Like, performs a crucial role in Australian society. While bogans may tell you that they want to bed you or glass you, they also have many other wants and needs that they are less adept at articulating. As the bogan’s unofficial mouthpiece, we simply must take exception to the Unconventional Economist, who on these very pages has been spreading anti-bogan propaganda about negative gearing.

Negative gearing is the lifeblood of cashed up bogans nationwide, asking only that the bogan be greedy and territorial in order to have the federal government bankroll the bogan’s pathway to millionaire status. With a proud tradition of greed and territorialism, the bogan’s bank accounts have never told a negative gearing tax rebate to “fuck off, we’re full”. Due to there being nothing more Australian than owning more of Australia than the bogan needs, any proposed measures to curb negative gearing are, by definition, un-Australian.

Read the rest of our solution for Australia’s property market HERE.


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145 responses

1 04 2011
Gold Coaster

I just LOVE the TerrorHurts meter! Now we have a calibrated standard for Bogan outrage- “Hm, [insert bogan-targeted news item] would rate about 4 TerrorHurts…”

1 04 2011
martin

Older bogans deserve more and better property simply because they were born earlier and they worked “hard” and have a monopoly on working “hard”.

How “hard” you have worked is relative to how angry, conceited and self righteous you are and how often you listen to Ray Hadley.

1 04 2011
Gold Coaster

And how much you’ve suffered from your own stupidity and how many meals the kids have missed because you’ve spent the last of the pay on booze or fags.

1 04 2011
shakPower

ah the familiar great aussie battler story. it is a very famous tale , told very often . Especially here is Queensland.

1 04 2011
Mick

The bogan owns copyright on the word “hard” and I’m surprised that martin would use it so frivolously.

Never, under any circumstances, question the veracity of their “hard” work. Any questioning of their thoughts or motives will earn you a glassin’.

1 04 2011
Ash -Glasser of C*nts, Kicker of Hipsters and Massive Can Connossieur

When I establish my Reich, things that will be forbidden include:
– Any usage of the word “battler”
– Wearing Ed Hardy clothes in public
– Being a fan of St George Illawarra
– Spray on tans.

1 04 2011
martin

I would ban being a fan of the Broncos.

Any usage of the term “Free Market”.

Full arm tatts.

3 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

Keep talking like that, Martin, and I’ll be making you a trusted advisor.

5 04 2011
Gold Coaster

I’m interested in your views and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

5 04 2011
$hruglife

How original.

5 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

GCer, you will be in charge of the Gold Coast. Ensure that all bogans will be shipped to the gulag in Cairns and that the beach is free for me (and me alone) to surf whenever I feel like it.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Sweet! I won’t let you down. I will turn it into a true Surfer’s Paradise.

5 04 2011
martin

Thanks Ash. I look forward to having more influence on the world than what piddly little forum posts provide.

5 04 2011
chris

– Big arsed dual cabs and the ‘tards who drive ’em. Round them up, Ash and send them to the gulag.

5 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Go Stalin!

5 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

Cairns will be turned into a giant Gulag.

7 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Cairns is actually a pretty place when you remove the ferals, deros, and bogans. Maybe we could preserve it and turn Mareeba into a GULAG camp instead.

7 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

Alright, Canberra then. Canberra has absolutely zero redeeming qualities.

7 04 2011
Pandabater

Build the fence then close the gate during Summernats.

7 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

That’s the spirit.

7 04 2011
Mick

Trust me, it’ll be easier to leave the ferals, deros and bogans where they are and move Cairns…

1 04 2011
Trudie

This is so fantastic I think I am going to cry… I have had almost enough of bogans in the last few days to last me a lifetime. I myself was just called self-righteous for suggesting maybe tiarnah,Jett,bon and krystal don’t need a plasma in each bedroom to save them from glassing each other over who gets to watch the new instructional tutorials- I think it’s called jersey shore? At least they are studying I suppose?

5 04 2011
Gold Coaster

You poor dear! How dare you suggest that Tiarnah, Jett, Bon and Krystal’s parents actually parent them! Outsourcing to Harvey Norman and the Trashmedia Kraken is so much easier for them.

1 04 2011
urbanreverie

And thanks to a cancelled lecture this morning, I am able to bring you a nice, early episode of …

THE BOGUE & BOGUETTE SHOW!!!

(THE SCENE: BOGUE is sitting at the table in the grand dining area on the top storey of his McMansion reading the comics in The Daily Telegraph and guzzling a can of Jim Beam & cola after a hard day’s work busting his gut on the motorway construction site.)

BOGUE: Hahahahaha. Ding Duck fails to fly again. Hahaha. Too farkin’ funny.

(The front door closes and BOGUETTE runs up the stairs and into the dining area. She is exuding infectious excitement and runs up to BOGUE and hugs him and kisses him on the cheek.)

BOGUETTE: Honey! Honey! You won’t believe what happened! I found a job, and I start tomorrow! I can’t wait!

BOGUE: (smiles) Honeybunch, that’s farkin’ awesome! Woohoo! All our money troubles are over! So what kinda job is it?

BOGUETTE: Oh, nuffint great. It’ll do for the time being though. I’m working at a car wash, in the industrial area on the other side of the railway station.

BOGUE: That’s great news! I’m proud of ya! How much … umm … err … did you say on the other side of the railway station?

BOGUETTE: Yeah.

BOGUE: In between the Repco and that place what sells them swimming pool filters?

BOGUETTE: Yeah, that’s the one.

BOGUE: Isn’t that that … topless car wash?

BOGUETTE: Sure is!

BOGUE: (swipes the newspaper, napkin holder, salt cellar, pepper mill and placemats off the dining table in a fit of rage) Urruguruthrugruughffhgrugurrgghkurrrghnt! What are ya? Some kinda farkin’ tart? Is that the bitch I married? A goddamn whore? Washin’ cars while other blokes perv on ya?

BOGUETTE: But the money’s OK and they want me to start immediately. And you always keep tellin’ me what a good figure I have after all these years and stuff.

BOGUE: I don’t care! I don’t farkin’ care, ya dumb $lut. I ain’t letting you wash cars while men other than me get a stiffy watching ya. This is me honour we’re talkin’ about here!

BOGUETTE: Listen! We’re up shit creek moneywise and stuff. I paid me rego on me car yesterday. Do you wanna know how I afforded it? I borrowed even more money from me olds! That’s four grand we owe them now! And we have Aiden, Braiden, Jaiden and Kaiden’s school bills for this term due in a fortnight too. Would you prefer me to be out of work? You wanna send the kids off to the state school with all them stinky reffo brats?

BOGUE: Urrururrghkurrgghnt! If you’re gonna wash cars while flashin’ yer tits everywhere, you may as well go the whole hog and work at that brothel! You can’t even get a decent job, you bludgin’ bitch.

BOGUETTE: (hysterical, wagging finger) Listen! For the past bloody month you’ve been on me back day in, day out tellin’ me what a worthless bludgin’ piece of shit I am! And so I find a job, and how do you react? “Congratulations, honey?” “That’s excellent, sweetheart?” No! You gotta keep puttin’ shit on everyfint I do and everyfint I say, and it ain’t fair and stuff!

BOGUE: What are all me mates gonna fink of me? “Oh look, there’s me mate from the site, his missus works at that titty car wash near the railway station. What a slag!” What is the principal at the Holy Redeemer of Sacred Light Biblical Christian College gonna fink of me kids? Here’s me bustin’ me gut to pay the school bills to get our kids taught proper values an’ shit, and you go out and flash yer puppies to total strangers!

BOGUETTE: (collapses onto chair, hands in palms, sobbing) Oh .. I don’t know, sweetie … I just don’t know what to do. I wish I didn’t leave school in Year 10 because I found algebra and having too write essays too difficult an’ crap … It would have made gettin’ a job so much easier and stuff. I don’t know what else I can do.

BOGUE: Oi! I left school at the age of fourteen because the teachers thought they could tell me what to do an’ shit, but you don’t find ME showin’ off me tits to the whole farkin’ world! That’s it! I’m walkin’ down to the tavern, catchin’ up with me mates. And when I get back, you’d better bloody have called them pimps at that car wash and told them you ain’t workin’ there, under no circumstances! I didn’t marry no $lut!

(BOGUE goes to the bedroom to get changed, leaving BOGUETTE there weeping.)

THE END

1 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Powerful, powerful stuff. You could make a TV show or skit.

1 04 2011
Mick

Too powerful. I know these people.

It makes me sad.

1 04 2011
Gold Coaster

I feel sorry for Aidan, Braidan, Jaidan and Kaidan. They were born behind the 8-ball.

1 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Thanks Urban, as always you delve deep into the mind and action of the bogan.

1 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

Noice, noice as usual, but one question – I’d’ve thought our boguette had, shall we say, let herself go since she popped out Aiden/Braiden/Jaiden/Kaiden? Say what you like about topless car washes, but you have to be at least reasonably fit and attractive to work at one.

Not that I’ve ever patronised such an establishment, mind you.

1 04 2011
Vviv2
1 04 2011
1 04 2011
Pandabater

nope….try again….

http://www.didntwork.shit

1 04 2011
Vviv2

Third time lucky!!
Redneck carwash,
Proving conclusively you DON’T have to look great to do the job!

1 04 2011
Pandabater

*changes opinion on internet censorship*

*after regaining consciousness*

1 04 2011
Mick

And you had the audacity to eeewww my pub story.

Glass houses my friend, glass houses.

1 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

Jesus, Vviv. I preferred my mental image of topless car washes, thanks very much!

1 04 2011
urbanreverie

Ash, she’s only 30! It’s not like she’s some toothless old harridan fit only to scrub floors!

She may be a bogan, and have had four kids, but she is also aspirantiful an’ stuff. When both Bogue and Boguette were in steady work, they had enough of an income that she could spend heaps at the Endota Day Spa, ProfessioNail, Buzzilian Butterfloy, spray tans at the beauty salon and even a few desultory treadmill sessions at Fitness First.

She’s quite petite and has an OK figure, though there are some pregnancy-related stretch marks if you look hard enough. So, she is rather attractive, if “bottle blonde bimbo” is your thing. However, when she opens her mouth and that horrible nasal whine emanates from her larynx – ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

1 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

I’m gonna guess the blonde is straight out of a can as well.

Anyway, UR, I wanted to beg you…can I please please please do next week’s? I can’t hope to be as great as you, but I want to give my idea a shot.

1 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

And, to reply to myself – I’m guessing the voice thing would put her in the “You’d Fuck Her But Tell Her To Piss Off Afterwards” category. I am so romantic.

1 04 2011
urbanreverie

What is this? Fanfic of fanfic? Meta-fanfic? A Russian doll of fan fiction?

I like the idea. Be my guest, Ash 🙂

1 04 2011
shakPower

HA HA ! awesome stuff man! ‘Super effort that’ (in the Good old Richie voice)

1 04 2011
Vviv2

Brilliant as always Urban
What a harsh taskmaster the bogan is! Fancy not wanting the house bitch to flash her jugs at all & sundry…..

1 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Only because she’s HIS property. He’d have no problem seeing some other house biatch flashing her assets while he drinks with the boys.

1 04 2011
Vviv2

LMAO! True GC…..
OTHER bogan’s wives are just slappers who need to take demeaning jobs like that cos they have NO class at all!

1 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Thumbs up to that one.

1 04 2011
Mick

The bogan male is terribly insecure. But he’s got the focus of his jealousy anger pointing the wrong way. The femmebogue doesn’t look at other bogans…she’s already got one. Why the hell would anyone want two?

No, she looks at the type of bloke the bogue derides. The better spoken male with manners and grooming. However, the non-bogue has no desire to shag her, so she goes back to the only man that rooly loves her…the bogan she’s loved since the day he first fingered her in the beergarden of the Commercial Hotel.

Love is a wonderful thing.

1 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

I just got a mental image of under the table at the hotel. Thanks Mick, thank a lot!

1 04 2011
Vviv2

Eeeeuwwwww!! Thank you for that mental image Mick!
I knew there was a reason I never go to glassing barns…

1 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Eeewww does that really happen?? I’ve never been to a glassing barn, and I’m not going to start!

1 04 2011
Mick

‘I’ve never been to a glassing barn’

That should have been a line in the Charlene song.

1 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

Goddamnit Mick, this is no place to recollect your youthful sexual misadventures.

1 04 2011
Pandabater

I had fish fingers
that day at The Commercial
Lifetime love was born

1 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

I got head that
Night at the Commercial
Two carnts were glassed

1 04 2011
Pandabater

He proved his virtue
that night at The Commercial
they looked so he glassed

1 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Hard to glass a carnt
When your hand is slippery
Bouncer seeks revenge

1 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

At the Glassin barn
Johno goes below the decks
Farkin Brazilian!

1 04 2011
Pandabater

There once was a man in the garden
He found a trail and hardened
Before he could f*ck he had to duck
A glass was incoming like a hockey puck

1 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Ah the joys of love
Do not tear my knickers Bogue
As you rummage there

5 04 2011
martin

There was a yuppy bogan named Hamish
He longed for respect, because he had a 4WD that was only a year and half old, wore country road thongs and faux “ironic” sporting t-shirts with a number on them and spent his weekends windsurfing and had a soccer mum wife called Mia.
He tapped on the rail but it was a fail
because everyone knew he was a maggot and deserved to be beaten.

I write this piece because yesterday I was using the atm and there is an aluminium rail behind it. I am the quickest atm user ever, but this f#ckwit had the gaul to walk over and tap the rail with his keys in an aggressive manner whilst I was half way through.

If you’re reading this, f#cking die.

1 04 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Wonder how HE knows where the said titty-wash is…

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Except for him, of course.

As always, fine work urbanreverie 🙂 Love your weekly dispatches!

2 04 2011
Vviv2

Bogan breakfast drink…

5 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Sounds like Gordon Ramsay narrated that.

3 04 2011
Pandabater

Kinda makes coffee with milo seem pretty pissweak.

Breakfast Sludge.
it won’t put hairs on your chest.
It will put BALLS on your chest.

3 04 2011
Vviv2

Or on your chin…… 😀

5 04 2011
chris

Meh. Here’s what you do. Small teaspoon of Nutella in the bottom of a shot glass. Shot of espresso on top. Stir. Drink. Repeat. Breakfast of champions.

4 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Spotted on cover of Cosmo whilst getting lunch
“Doodle Whisperer”
Mastering his Member!

Too good not to post.

4 04 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Ahhh, yes, Cosmopolitan: always (excuse the pun) banging on about techniques that’ll, but seldom about fostering the intimacy that makes for a truly satisfying sex life.

Not that many of its demographic of readers (I use the term loosely here) would take that much notice. The whole raunch culture has much to answer for; it’s little wonder many younger folk are cussing about their love life, when there is far too much emphasis placed upon how important it is to be a firecracker in the sack, for that isn’t all there is to being in a successful relationship, though a useful component of it to be sure. Nor is keeping a high tally of bedfellows a recipe for happiness, as that usually ends in disillusionment, if not an incurable STI or an unwanted pregnancy.

4 04 2011
Vviv2

People are taught nowadays to zero in on the highlights, as if they are the ONLY parts that matter, hence you have a generation with unrealistic expectations in regard to relationships…. If your partner can’t keep you entertained constantly, or satisfy your every wish, leave them! You’ll find another ‘soul mate’ within a few days!

BOT, I’m impressed! I thought men like you had all turned gay, or ceased to exist….

4 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

You mean marriage is not all #124, sunsets, pandora, brazillians and Jennifer Aniston movies. F*cking Cosmo have duped me for the last time!

4 04 2011
Vviv2

‘S true Simon….You’ve been led astray 😀

Psssst: ‘Reality’ shows – aren’t!

4 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

That’s it!

*stomps off to find horse and stout rope and lynch some c*nt*

4 04 2011
Mick

You need to let this Cosmo thing go…

4 04 2011
Vviv2

Come to the Yarra Valley Simon….I can promise you’ll be busy for years to come!

4 04 2011
Mick

Oh Vviv, there’s plenty of blokes out there who think like that. However we’ve been smothered under the weight of the bogan majority. The same bogans who deride open-minded, sensible men as being gay.

I’ll be honest, I reckon your last statement had bogan tendencies to it. Please don’t encourage them.

4 04 2011
Vviv2

Heading outside to slap some sense into myself myself now Mick….

4 04 2011
Mick

I’ve always found it helps to nip things in the bud early…before the glassin’ starts.

4 04 2011
Vviv2

You’re right Mick. My only excuse is living in the bogan/feral heartlands… One tends to forget that there is a whole other world out there…. Obviously, I need to get out more! 😀

4 04 2011
Bag O'Turnips

@ Vviv2

Explain to me my current unattached status…

(OK, I did somewhat check myself out of the market in recent times in order to get to know me better, before I attempt to get to know someone else in such depth.)

Then again, I live in a city full of bogans, for whom I pose too much of a headfück for them, given that I don’t easily conform to default gender roles, Aussie Style. Only now, in my mid-30s, am I starting to live a life more in keeping with my core ethos and just emerging into amenable scenes where I can socialise and possibly meet someone I could form a loving relationship with. But given my age against the rest of my contemporaries (not to mention having changed my sense of identity in recent years), I must admit to being a tad worried about the fast evaporating pool of potential paramours!

Just eternally grateful I didn’t end up with some bogue babe who’d have been besotted by my blinding intelligence, then forever bound should that have ended up with babies and big mortgage in the boonies, realising that this specific lifestyle was an ill fit ten years later, going through all the bitterness of the consequences of living out a charade entails.

4 04 2011
Vviv2

I hope you realise that you’re not an island BOT, there are many souls like you scattered throughout this country.
Like you, I live in bogan central, with nothing in common with the vast majority of those around me. Being an artist allows me quite a lot of ‘eccentricities’ though. I can be extremely blunt in my assessment of people, & it’s laughed off. ( and yes, I DO take advantage of that fact!) 😀
There are plenty of discerning women out there who think along the same lines as you do, though just how you go about finding them is not a question I can answer.
Believe it or not, women have the same problematic quandary. Learning to like yourself is the best way to start, anything else is a bonus….

4 04 2011
Mick

Recently I’ve been making an enormous effort to date as many local women as I can in the hope of finding a non-bogue that I can actally have a conversation with. Pfft. Owing to the word on the street of me being a CUB, there is no lack of willing participants. Just a lack of suitable ones. They’re not bad people, just a little misguided.

Except for the one from last night. The more she opened that whiney mouth the more I wanted to scream and call her a f@#kin’ insult to humanity. A rascist, bludging, it’s not my fault and where’s my free cash tramp. I wanted to smash the wine bottle on the table and jam the neck into her face. If that’s what I have to put up with I’m stayin’ single. No wonder they glass each other.

I should start a blog on my dating campaign. It’s been a real eye-opener. I’m now of the opinion that the femme-bouge is much worse than the bogue.

4 04 2011
Vviv2

I couldn’t agree more!!
mainly because violence is fashionable ATM!
It’s barely safe to look at a bouguette, without being abused, & if she’s with friends….run!
Don’t worry Mick, it works both ways. Things start well….he seems human, until you pass a foreigner, or the service is slow….or (gods forbid) he runs into a mate!

4 04 2011
Vviv2

Please…write a blog!! I’m sure everyone would enjoy it immensely! 😀

4 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

Don’t start me on femme-bogues.

I’m about to turn 21, and it hit me some time back that even though I have a few notches on my belt I haven’t had a real relationship since school. So I decided to stop trying to f*ck every woman I was interested in and start trying to find a connection.

After doing this for three months, I discovered that:
– the women you want to make a connection with don’t want that
– 90% of the rest of them are femme-bogues who’s idea of a healthy relationship comes from Cosmo (As discussed earlier) and celebrity trashmedia where the woman gets the money.

Makes one wish they were born gay sometimes. Viv (the original Viv, that is) has it easy.

4 04 2011
Willard

Hang in there man. There are non-bogue ladies out there looking as well. Now, I’m not one myself but I meet them often. They’re there and they’re discerning too…

5 04 2011
Gold Coaster

You’re only 21. My husband was 39 when he found me, so it may take some time. Just don’t get desperate. Enjoy the fruits of being single, such as buying what you want, travelling, and plenty of socialising. There are advantages to being single, and advantages to being in a relationship. There are disadvantages of being single, and same for relationships. Focus on the positives and you’ll meet your lady one day.

5 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Mick, I am now hoping for a weekly piece from you on dating, perhaps the tone should be a bit David Attenborough?

For my part I shall have a modernized version of I’ve Never been to me ready to go Friday!

5 04 2011
Gold Coaster

You just haven’t met the right one. Don’t settle for less! Hey, I didn’t meet my right one til I was 29. The problem with bogans is they go for anyone, not the right one, hence they end up in a cycle of relationships/or in an unhappy one for convenience/don’t know any different sakes. With no moral guidelines they just rub themselves on anything for fun…

5 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

See, that’s why I keep a strict demarkation in my mind between the girls I have casual sex with (always at their house or a neutral location, minimal personal conversation, no engagement) and potential girlfriends. I have mates who are stuck in that cycle (regulars will know the story of my best mate – within a few years he’ll be there as well) and I want no part of it.

5 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

I meant to say, “no engagement beyond the often drunk and occasionally otherwise-addled exchange of bodily fluids for enjoyment.”

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

You and your mates will be stuck in that cycle while you continue to have casual sex. The nice women are all turned off by man-slut ways, believe me. That may be why you can’t get very far with the girlfriend material types. Try a period of abstinence. The trick is to keep your mind on things other than sex.

5 04 2011
Vviv2

I should add a joiner to that comment….
The main source of intelligent conversation in my field comes from gay men, they also double as the best critiques, with the added bonus of providing the most cutting summations of bogans.

So that was in NO way a put down BOT…..

5 04 2011
Bag O'Turnips

No offence taken at all…don’t worry, I get asked all the time whether I am gay or if was born elsewhere.

Negative to both: to the former, just because I dress with a dashing flair, unerringly impeccable taste in design, have an uncommon shag haircut and don’t get stuck in traditional male gender stereotypes, doesn’t mean I’m gay—but try convincing your average bogan neanderthal! I did try once when the chance arose as I wasn’t entirely sure of my own sexuality at the time, but at least that experience—which I don’t regret at all—did confirm that I was hetero, albeit a broadminded one at that.

As for the latter, I get people who I meet for the first time wondering if I come from Southern England; I correct them in that I was in fact born here and have never been to the UK. I explain that I have chosen since a young age to be well-spoken and that I use correct pronunciation with clear diction, which gives my voice a slight BBC announcer’s air of Received Pronunciation, with a decidedly Australian twist: I use four syllables to name my country of origin, while still maintaining some nasal sound which is a consequence of being educated here.

5 04 2011
Gold Coaster

So true. The only guy I’ve ever been with is my husband, and I’m glad I waited for the right one and waited for my wedding night! Sure, I may sound old fashioned and prudish, but I have none of the problems my contemporaries have had and are having from their Cosmo ways!

5 04 2011
martin

+1. The bogan equates manliness and achievement with having sex. I suppose femme bogues do too.

5 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

Well, not manliness. Femininity.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

And it just leaves them emptier and emptier.

6 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

Hence, bogues get huge and femme-bogues get implants.

7 04 2011
Gold Coaster

That’s why. Makes sense!

4 04 2011
Bag O'Turnips

Oops: “…that’ll blow your hair back, but…” is what I meant. I missed a bit there.

4 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

T’is Zoo mag for chicks Bag O.

4 04 2011
Bag O'Turnips

I can remember Cosmo from around the late 80s to mid 90s: I originally pilfered my Mum’s old copies to cut out the lingerie ads (this ahd a lasting legacy, as I still find women in tastefully simple undergarments, i.e. not trashy unsubtle stripper wear, far more arousing than any pornography or slaggy Playboy outfits), but I’d also read them cover-to-cover…the regular in-depth editorial pieces about matters of sex, relationships and sexual health would be supplemented by a sealed section on sex maybe once a year…whoo-hoo, big deal or what? In them days, it still was!

These days, it seems to be the considered pieces that are the annual novelty, with a sealed section seemingly every month. Not to mention the raunchy yet decidedly unsexy contemporary lingerie advertisements…to paraphrase DC Root (a.k.a. Humphery B. Flaubert of TISM fame): “Sexy in everything, but sex”.

4 04 2011
the beef

Cosmo = BFW

5 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Cosmo sends terrible messages about sex. It’s all about fun and novelty, and I remember reading one in the office before I got married, and looked at the sex tips (I was the big V before I got married) and I thought, “I have to do WHAT now?!”” And I spoke to my then-to-be husband about what I read, and I was in tears thinking that I had to do all these crazy things to please him on our wedding night (Cosmo makes it look like all men are extremely hard to please and you have to have extreme oral, #124 and position techniques from the get-go to satisfy them) and he was aghast and told me not to read those things and as long as I’m loving he’ll be happy! Those mags mess with girls’ heads.

5 04 2011
Mr Q

To (possibly mis-)quote a TV show from a while back: “you expect us to have things like technique and stamina – we’re just happy if you’re naked”.

Can’t speak for the female perspective on that one, but the male one isn’t really that far off.

5 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

I don’t get it. I know most men don’t really care about the fancy stuff until they get into a serious relationship, where you can both do what you want together. Even bogans.

Unless there’s a more extreme strain of bogan out there that I’m not aware of. Kinda like African killer bees, as it where.

5 04 2011
Vviv2

LMAO!
Ash, I think they figured out that whatever stopped the bougettes from yabbering at them was worth persevering with!
Over time, (30 minutes tops), the smarter (sober) bogan male would have to be bored rigid with the incessant meaningless chatter, so they would need to invent challenges….which would also double as bragging rights when they met their mates down the local….
You can just hear them
“You got Krystale to do what?”
Round of laughter & applause
“Next time you need to try XXXX”

5 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

Vviv – OK, you just scared me. The only time I’ve ever engaged in a bit of old-fashioned #124 (in the back of a ute, no less) was with a Krystale. Same exact spelling.

5 04 2011
Vviv2

You thought you weren’t seen?
Mwaa ha ha haaaaa!

6 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

Don’t know about seen, but I think you could have heard us in Melbourne.

Let’s just say there’s a reason it’s called rodeo sex.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

No offence Ash, but you’re demonstrating some bogan tendencies there…

6 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

I lean much closer to “yob” than “wanker” on the TISM scale.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Yob is better than bogan or wanker.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

My husband said to me, “Who writes those articles?”
I said, “Women.”
“Well there you go.”

Women THINK this is what’s needed, when it’s not.

5 04 2011
Mick

Now, let’s get this series of rambling thoughts back on track. Boganomics.

Two news stories today sum up my thoughts on the state of the population.

http://www.news.com.au/business/millions-behind-on-basic-skills-threatens-australias-international-competitiveness/story-e6frfm1i-1226033037885

http://www.news.com.au/business/mortgage-holders-showing-stress/story-fn7mjon9-1226033712363

I’ll leave the wordsmithery to the good people of TBL, but one question needs answering. Are the 8 million international embarrassments also the one third who are ‘financially unfit’?

I’d put this on the News Limited site but they never print my comments. Bastards

6 04 2011
Pendant

This stuff makes me really sad. Not because the world is full of idiots, that’s a given. The sad part is they will be catered to endlessly from all around. Social and monetary policy that caters to lowest-common-denominator – sometimes incentivising being unemployed (and by-proxy, being unemployable). Credit fuelled bubbles creating a situation where only the foolish or extremely well-off could consider ‘owning’ a home.

It really makes me wish I was an idiot like any other. I might have my plasma repossessed after 18 months, but at least that’s 18 months of enjoyment I got instead of watching the deposit required on a house increase faster than my savings possibly could.

6 04 2011
Bag O'Turnips

That’s typical of Uncle Rupert and gang…letting past moderation all the misspelt comments that rant ill-informed opinion are the hallmark of a newspaper for illiterates, which any News Limited publication is (that includes The Strayan too), so lose no sleep about the company you’re missing out on keeping.

Australian society is only now begun to reap what it has sown in the way of both poor skills training and financial mismanagement as a consequence of two decades of economic rationalism, which has relegated way too much agency to the individual, whereupon before it would’ve been either protected by a sense of tacit social contract (providing sound education and useful vocational training, of which was crimped in the name of “efficiency”, ergo both the shortage of skilled workers presenting now and falling standards of literacy and numeracy) and regulation (laws on lending have been liberalised in that time, leading to an explosion of indebtedness, which is compounded by widespread innumeracy).

The neoliberal philosophy is entirely hinged upon the idea that we are all homo economicus, being rational, utility-maximising individuals driven by pure self-interest: well, that might work for a few of these autistic sociopaths (of which, if you apply the diagnostic criteria, they are), but the they clearly forgot the messy nature of human interactions and failed to realise that few beyond their exclusive club operate in their compulsive manner, so it doesn’t take a Sherlock Holmes to deduce that this whole experiment was going to collapse upon itself one day. Which is all the more galling, for they held such sway over those with the means to exercise power and have sold them a pup on false pretences, using the tools of a fast buck, diminished responsibility and me-first to get them to purchase those flawed ideas.

It’s just a pity that many of these charlatans who promulgated these have washed their hands clean of these, adding insult to injury by taking a golden parachute when the organisation they had the reins of during the 90s later went to sh¡t after their so-called efficiency drives of minimising workplace training, putting workers on desultory pro-forma “individual” contracts and freezing the hire of “costly” apprentices, the few who did get trained now commanding a king’s ransom for their skills.

These are the same fückers who have also bred a corporate crony culture of entitlement, instant gratification and spivvery that lives on with the NaB, now carrying on this truculent tradition throughout middle management, HR and marketing everywhere, including the increasingly corporatised public service and not-for-profit sectors.

No wonder why we, alongside most of the Global North, are well-and-truly rooted as a consequence of our hubris, sense of self-entitlement and outsourcing-induced laziness. We deserve our comeuppance for our hypocrisy.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

We’re going to end up like the USA. My father-in-law lives there and tells me about beggars in the streets. I’ve only ever seen that in a third world country. Oh wait, we won’t have that, because we have welfare…except in Melbourne, it seems, because in 6 days there I was accosted by beggars. I’ve never ever been accosted by beggars, even in Cairns.

6 04 2011
martin

There’s plenty of bums in Sydney. Sometimes I even give them money because I’m such a good bloke. They don’t hang in one spot and beg they usually come up to you and ask.

6 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

Hobos are OK. I’d rather them than bogans.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

At least hobos are mostly honest.

6 04 2011
martin

http://tasmanianrealestatetrouble.blogspot.com/2011/04/purgatorius-ignis.html

“I do understand the thinking – sitting around watching insanity be facilitated and rewarded, while maintaining a disciplined strategy yourself is like being fingered for rape and having your balls lopped off, while the rape artist is offered a lifetime supply of rohypnol to carry on his twisted deeds.”

But I don’t completely blame the morons who can’t add up or read and write with all the bogans these days making $200k a year for fixing dunnies or simply taking out a loan on an investment property.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

That first article basically says that because of Bogans, we’re screwed as an economy.

I’ve worked in education for 7 years and I know it’s true. Welfare has negated the need for skills- hey, if you wanna bludge at school, that’s ok, you can work in the ‘moiiiins’ or go on tha dole!

6 04 2011
Will S

Simple answer shoot all the supposed academics who altered the curriculum in the first place to appease some beauracrats that wanted more kids to pass exams so their figures look good and also go back to teaching teachers to teach properly and that they know bugger all about life and teaching when they leave uni or teachers school and to look for a mentor about 50 years of age with a lifetime in teaching then we may see these figures improve

Teachers are overpaid and this poor academic result is a direct result of teachers poor personal performance and low productivity which is only supported by the trade union movement which uses teachers as their local recruiters for the Australian (Labour)Labor party

We’ve gone soft and excessive in “PC”. Foreign kids learn because they have strict parents or strict teachers. We have neither.

This is the result of teachers, over the last 30 years, being more intent , on teaching kids left wing politics, & trying to change historical events to suit their lefty agenda. Results: dumb kids

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

The problem with teaching I found when I was a high school teacher was that the job is geared towards the survival of a certain type, and the type of lessons you should be delivering, you just don’t have time to prepare. You are thrown straight into a full 5 or 6 class load straight out of uni with little support. If you had a lighter load with an ‘apprenticeship’ type of mentor arrangement, it would make it easier to cope with the demands of the job.

It was the busiest time of my life – physically and mentally. They say one third of teachers will not make it to their fifth year. I felt I would be one of those in my first year.

Another problem is that you are so busy, it is easier to teach lesson plans than it is to teach students. If you care about the students and their development, you burn out, like I did. The ones who rule the kids with terror and don’t care whether they pass or fail are generally (but not always) the ones who last 20-30 years in the classroom. The ones who care about the kids and work on their behalf generally don’t last.

Another problem is, all sort of disciplinary power is taken away from teachers, and parents too. Teachers put up with conditions no other workers (bar police) would ever put up with. Who would be expected to work in conditions of exposed wiring, a filthy room, no hot water in the office, up 3 flights of stairs to the toilet, not enough equipment to do what’s asked of you, plus be constantly interrupted and abused while you try to do your job? Who would work in a job where, no matter how well you performed or prepared, the media would lampoon you? Who would work in a workplace where the clients treated you as the enemy? Prison guards and police- but they’re trained in dealing with criminals.

The job itself needs overhauling, then it will attract and retain good teachers.

Kudos to all the great teachers who survive the State system- I couldn’t.

6 04 2011
Will S

Me neither. I decided that as a teacher I made a good scientist, lol.

6 04 2011
Will S

…or so say news.com.au commenters

agree or disagree?

6 04 2011
martin

Somewhat agree. I’d like to see the cane brought back and bogans having the shit beaten out of them with it. If only because it would entertain me.

7 04 2011
Gold Coaster

LOL I agree. Then send them to the GULAG.

6 04 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Mick, I also struggle to get comments published. On the banned list is sarcasm, critisism of the “journalist”, helpful comments to the whining bogan in the story suggesting exersise, job, lobotomy, castration or exile.

How to get published – bad spelling, punctuation, nonsensical sentences, abuse of immigrants or Fev, agreeing with Bolt, love of celebs.

6 04 2011
Pandabater

I can offer some of the explanation for the first story. About 18 months ago I was at the end of being long term unemployed. You could go and do a lot of Cert. 3 type courses to supposedly help find a job & lets just say that about 50% of the attendees were your classic “dole bludger” (I don’t really like that term by the way but it’s accurate in some cases) & were only attending the course to satisfy the Centerlink requirements. So the attendees are drawn from the shallow end of the pool which would account for the low level of skills.

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

That’s just the Productivity Places Program (PPP). The PPP also delivers training to upskill government workers. I think what they refer to is the number of apprentices and other school leavers with poor literacy and numeracy.

I work in VET and I think the PPP is good because it brings us revenue 🙂 ergo my job is more secure 🙂

6 04 2011
Will S

In other boganomic news, the bogan has announced (by way of a poll) that it supports a carbon tax, as long as all revenue from the carbon tax goes directly and solely to the bogan.

http://www.news.com.au/national/carbon-tax-winning-voters-but-conditions-attached/story-e6frfkvr-1226034392509

6 04 2011
Gold Coaster

See this one, Will! During the Howard years the government was going to give anti-Bogan powers to Centrelink but it was never inacted. Bogans were protected yet again:

http://www.news.com.au/centrelink-search-powers-withdrawn/story-e6frfkp9-1111112560513

6 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord of Glassin' Carnts

…*is lost for words*…

Shit like this almost makes me wish we had a Tea Party here.

6 04 2011
Will S

I think we’re seeing the emergence of one if you look at the photos of the anti-carbon tax rallies. I’m not sure if they’re bogans or just nutters.

6 04 2011
Pandabater

I am a little confused by the point of the carbon tax. If I have the sequence right, the govt taxes “the polluters”, “the polluters” take this cost of production & pass it onto their customers who are compensated by the govt using the money they collect from “the polluters. Is this how “green jobs are created?

6 04 2011
Will S

The point is to make everything that creates carbon emissions more expensive, so that stuff that creates less carbon emissions will be more competitive, since it won’t become more expensive.

There’s plenty of reasons to oppose it, I was just saying the people at the rallies looked pretty crazy. And bogan.

6 04 2011
Pandabater

That may be true but the govt is saying we will be compensated more than the increase. So where is the incentive to change?

7 04 2011
Will S

Well if you change you still get the compensation, so you end up better off.

7 04 2011
Gold Coaster

It’s just smoke and mirrors to sell the idea to the Bogariat. They ruin everything and I’m so angry at them right now.

7 04 2011
Gold Coaster

Because Bogans kept borrowing beyond their means, the govt has now established guidelines by which your capacity to pay out a loan is assessed. Now, I have a permanent government administration job, paid 20k to a finance company in 3 years on my car, have no other loans, and they reckon I can’t afford a $70 a week car loan.

#&?%@&%$#@!!!! BOGANS!!!!!!

7 04 2011
Pandabater

Equity mate! 😉

7 04 2011
martin

You can blame the yuppie bogans for all the financial shit. They’re the ones who gave bogans money hand over fist.

I’m not excusing them but the everyday bogan was merely acting on it’s native, deep rooted and repulsive impulses to get shit they stupendously did not deserve and did not earn.

See the documentary movie “Inside Job” if you could be bothered. See how low yuppy bogan scum stooped.

I’m with you Gold Coaster, f#cken despise them with a passion.

8 04 2011
Gold Coaster

I will see that documentary, Martin. I’ve long been interested in Boganomics. Read Affluenza (forget who wrote it) but it basically documents Australia’s descent into cashed-up boganism.

8 04 2011
Ash - Almighty Overlord Of Glassin' Carnts

I found Affluenza a bit too libtard-ish for my like, but it was still an interesting read.

GCer – it was by Clive Hamilton.

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