The bogan staunchly defends its right to access middle class welfare schemes such as negative gearing, in order to create a highly geared and lowly diversified investment empire. Apartments, units, houses with big backyards – investment properties equal big, odiferous bogan schmackos. But while the bogan wants to own all properties, it also insists that other people retain them too. It wants other people to have backyards to adequately house things the bogan finds unpleasant.
While the bogan will reluctantly acknowledge the need for undesirable things like sewage farms, landfills, and non-franchised coffee shops to exist somewhere, it wants the consequences of its own rabid behaviour to be entirely borne by other people, far far away. The crucial problem here is that the bogan and its interests have colonised the majority of the nation. Very few locations exist where something such as a hospital could be built, due to an avalanche of bogan complaints that the sound of the ambulances would ruin the peace and quiet during their routine viewings of Grey’s Anatomy. That said, if an ailing bogan is not instantly cured by the medical system, the bogan’s family will simultaneously phone A Current Affair and Slater & Gordon to extract maxtreme revenge justice. The bogan wants to eat its cake, be given an unlimited free supply of additional cakes, and to never get diabetes from the staggering volume of glucose contained therein. Or else.
The bogan considers proposed airports and nuclear dumps unacceptable, and medium density residential developments near its McMansion even worse. While the McMansion occupies 98% of its block of land, any development that proposes to do the same without a third rumpus room in its floorplan elicits intense existential fury in the bogan. The bogan fears that townhouses and apartments may attract latte sipping intellectuals or ethnic minorities to its neighbourhood, placing the commercial viability of the local Megachurch under threat. Hordes of infuriated NIMBY bogans will descend upon the local municipal offices, declaring that the entire layer of government needs to be sacked immediately. They will drag the proposed development through an extended and costly planning appeals process, offering an array of excuses entirely ineffective at masking their own self-interest. Eighteen months, four lawyers, and six architectural redesigns later, the now utterly compromised development will proceed. The bogan will claim a Castle-esque victory over “greedy developers”, and gear up its negativity to resume complaining about how housing affordability is atrocious, making it unable expand its negatively geared empire at the desired velocity.