Friday poll – Big News Week

4 02 2011

It has been a big week in news, from political upheaval to highly brand-integrated sporting comebacks and of course a slightly anti-climactic cyclone whose lack of deadliness devastated the trashmedia. Now we turn to you, loyal reader, to speculate as to which piece of news has best managed to capture the bogan’s fleeting attention this week. As usual, describe your feelings in one click or less. 

Results from last Friday’s poll indicate that the bogan’s most likely response to Charlie Sheen’s partying-related hospitalisation was by far “a resolution to totally smash it up this weekend to emulate its hero,” with  54% of votes. At the opposite end of the spectrum, garnering only 3% of the votes, was the possibility that the bogan would have “a realisation that immense wealth and celebrity can have pitfalls.” That one, in hindsight, was rather far-fetched.


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84 responses

4 02 2011
afr

For me it was Ryan Tandy’s arrest, but, by its own admission TBL is AFL biased.

4 02 2011
Legless on Thalidomide

Yes, the bogan would cringe in disgust at the thought of an innocent and honest establishment such as the TAB being ripped off by a syndicate lead by one Ryan “Sportsbet” Tandy.

Sincerest condolences to Glenn Munsie.

4 02 2011
barkeep @ ye olde glassing barn

The trashmedia are now going to start blocking warnings to the public as it tends to make people aware and not get caught in storms and make “life or death” decisions.

4 02 2011
clippermeas

TBL is AFL biased because they’re based in Melbourne (presumably) and therefore NRL is of little interest – unlike in Sydney where the Daily Terror gets the bogans going by declaring an AFL invasion / war against the NRL heartland every chance they can.

One of us is based in Sydney – it gives us good trans-boganic coverage. TBL

5 02 2011
DuxLux

Ryan Tandy is OUR (ie NSW, ACT, QLD) bad-ass of the week. Although it got blown of the morning news coverage (sorry bad pun, *doffs hat at Karl, Kochie etc*).

Just out of interest, have any of you NRL lovers ever tried listening to the radio in Victoria to find out half-time league scores? What are the chances of that actually happening?

5 02 2011
Danny

? 774 ABC Melbourne

5 02 2011
DuxLux

Melbourne cabbies don’t listen to ABC 🙂

7 02 2011
afr

I live in Sydney, why would I want to listen to the NRL scores on Melbourne radio?

7 02 2011
Benny Hill

SEN?

4 02 2011
Legless on Thalidomide

Thorpe, daylight, then the media coverage of cyclone Yasi. You could hear the disappointment in the voices of the ambulance hopping media when they’d realised the storm hadn’t littered it’s wake with corpses. News just isn’t as edgy without a death toll.

We can all sleep well however, as bogan crown-princess Bindi Irwin is safe.

4 02 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Where can I vote for Nick Reiwoldt. See rant just posted on foxtel.

4 02 2011
barkeep @ ye olde glassing barn

I don’t know if the bogan would be mesmerised by that though. They are used to Riewoldt crying by now surely. Was Ross Lyon by his side?
Or was Nettleford there to say that “they can’t have behavioral issues they have had some on-field success” ?

4 02 2011
Greg Lou

Ross Lyon was under the desk impersonating Zac Dawson.

4 02 2011
Pandabater

Regarding last weeks voting, The reason
that “a realisation that immense wealth &
celebrity can have pitfalls” only got 3%
is that The Bogan would consider the
trips to ER & rehab as trophies for being
the sickest c^nt out there.

This week its Bananas, The Bogan thinks
with one thing, it’s wallet. All the other
shit is happening to some one else.

4 02 2011
martin

The bogan will angrily go to coles or woolies feeling entitled to bananas even though it never eats them. It will keep an eye on the price and demand the government give a banana bonus.

4 02 2011
Pandabater

Banana bonus LOL.

4 02 2011
p'bee

but there’ll still be hysterical stories about evil foreign bananas that we can’t let be imported lest they infect us with their evil foreignness.

4 02 2011
Will S

Don’t worry, Bob Katter will Stop the Bananas.

4 02 2011
James Hunter

Pbee and will s
It is not so funny if you are a bananna farmer and some mob of capitalists like woolworts import banannas from some place,out of the kindness of their hearts, of course, and ther fruit does contain some bananna specific disease of parasite. It has happened before and will happen again. Quarantine is actually extreemly important to the success of our farmers.Not just in the local markets but in the world markets where the less chemicals added to kill pests the better. Maybe you to like fruit that has little chemicals added and contains no crawling or burrowing thingys ?

4 02 2011
p'bee

of course quarantine is important. but that doesn’t mean we can’t import fresh fruit when we have a shortage – as long as they’re thoroughly checked first.
and my comment was more about the fact that on the one hand people will complain about high banana prices while on the other completely opposing any imports.

4 02 2011
James Hunter

would not be the same people though ?

4 02 2011
p'bee

there’d certainly be overlap.

4 02 2011
Greg Lou

All of this while paying $300 a week of his HSV ute without batting an eyelid.

7 02 2011
The Bogan from 'Berra

And the rest!!! I priced one a few weeks ago and it was going to be more like $500/week.

8 02 2011
Lola

Not to mention > $1000 p.a. on a mobile phone used for texting and Facebook. The perfect bogan money extraction methodology – provide them with short term, instantaneously gratifying superficial pleasure while sucking out their cash via a barely-perceptible monthly credit card merry-go-round of virtual payments!

4 02 2011
Lucky Star

These are the same bogans who believe that the Guvmint should give out free set top boxes for shutting down analog TV, even though it’s had 5+ years to save up money for one.

No joke, I know people who have said just that!

5 02 2011
Bag O'Turnips

A new SD set top box—more than adequate for your average old 4:3 ratio CRT colour television set—retails for less than $40…that’s not much more than the cost of two adult tickets to the movies! If you really must have the HD-only channels, then an entry-level HD tuner will still only cost you about $80 or $90, still pretty reasonable.

I still haven’t upgraded to a 100″ flat-screen plasma/LCD/LED/HD/HDD/WTF TV, for I’ve no pressing need to: admittedly, I have a 32″ widescreen (16:9 ratio) CRT set, bought new in 2002 for $3000…seems ridiculous now, given that particular model was pretty much the technological apogee of the cathode ray format, but a 42″ plasma then would command a $10k sticker. And these weren’t even HD, nor did they have HDMI ports either (hadn’t been released yet). Besides, I don’t watch that much telly and my TV hasn’t faulted me yet. And it isn’t fully obsolete either, given its widescreen ratio, working well with the digital broadcasts (I’ve used a set-top box since ’05, in time for ABC2).

Oops. Gone on a tangent here. Probably a bunch of OSBs whingeing away; they too have the handout mentality, though theirs is often conditioned through intergenerational relative poverty. Any self-respecting (I use the term very loosely here) NaB or CUB would be on at least their second main large flatscreen (i.e. plasma or LCD) by now, as an upgrade to their previous perfectly adequate set and moved the old one into the shed, kitchen or one of their kids rooms (the other living areas and main bedroom already have LCD/plasma sets expressly purchased for those areas); the bigarsed 32″ CRT (usually the 4:3 curved screen no-name brand versions that sold well below the high-end flat 16:9 CRT price point) that took pride of place in their lounge rooms have been long ago put out on the front verge for the half-yearly “bring out your dead” day.

5 02 2011
Danny

Local fruit & veg shop: bananas $6.95/kilo. Local IGA: bananas $1.99/kilo, but a “maximum 3 kilo limit per shopper” sign attached.

5 02 2011
Danny

http://www.foxtel.com.au/support/2011-floods/FOXTEL-response/default.htm
“A team of technicians is ready to respond to flood affected areas to restore services as soon as safe and possible”
Thank Uu The Magic Hamster for that.

4 02 2011
Blueballs

I was unaware the political stalemate in Nepal had been settled, thank you TBL. Not only can I stop consulting the South Asia Terrorism Portal for my daily security updates, I can also import Buddhist iconography off eBay from an authentic source!!!

4 02 2011
Davo

Eddie Mcgwyers brother running for the seat of Broadmeadows, despite living in Brighton for 30 years and never being a member of the labour party. Why didn’t channel 9 cover this story?

4 02 2011
James Hunter

maybe because chanel nine dont cover real news stories? Oh sorry this is not realy news either. bugger.

4 02 2011
Pandabater

The news has been replaced
by Newsfotainment.

4 02 2011
martin

Maybe because Eddie McGwyer’s brother wouldn’t be any more or less of a prick than any other politician. Just because someone lives in an area doesn’t mean they won’t sit idly by while it gets raped and more importantly for them capitalise on it.

7 02 2011
Lord Boofhead

*sigh* The Victorian ALP State Branch: Proudly not learning anything…

The Right (sorry ‘Unity’) Faction in Victoria had the 3 years rule dropped so they could recruit shithouse ‘Celebrity/High Profile’ candidates like this (oh yeah and Cheryl Kerno, my that was such a success) and it failed horridly, but yet they persist…

The funniest part was when they screamed to high heaven when the Left took advantage of the changes to recruit Peter Garrett…

4 02 2011
Polly

Nah…biggest news is that new eps of Border Security are starting. Or that there’s a new Underbelly in the wings…

4 02 2011
Germane Riposte

hmmm.
my poll doesn’t work.
Just a bunch of dots.

over the last ten years or so I have been watching less and less telly. I’ll watch a bit more now that monday night is back on.
for reasons which need not be detailed I happened to be up all night whichever night the cyclone was on so I followed the progress of events on ABC24 and by phone with friends in the region until it dropped out. I guess the overall impression at Aunty was “aroused but not alarmed” ; it all seemed pretty reasonable for mine. the only standout was some hack asking Ms Bligh at a press conference to describe what she imagined the devastation would be like in the aftermath. Nice one genius. do you actually get paid for doing that? I did briefly observe the Kraken from a concealed (defilade) position in the cold hard light of day just to check out the footage coming in (aunty was a bit light on with the Johnny on the Spot gear) after a couple of minutes I turned the sound off and put some tunes on and then after it was apparent that each network was just showing it’s own little jealous collection of six clips on rotation I had a doobie even though it wasn’t saturday and went back to playing Black Ops secure in the knowledge that commercial television is a complete and utter waste of time.
Actually, more of a crime against nature, come to think of it.
Counter Evolutionary. 100,000 years of fighting tooth and opposable thumb to dominion over the earth and the majority of us are content to sit down and swallow this sour pap every night. Watching the kraken pontificate and fawn and even recriminate over the natural disasters on the back of the last two years in politics (“Rudd Stinkiest PM Ever: Voters” followed by “Voter Outrage at Rudd Assasination” the next week) and however many years of climate change debate (ffs!) and simpering support for Our Brave Boys in whetever armed incursion into strategic economic territory looks most spectacular on widescreen makes me sick to my soul. All for the sake of advertising. (we’re talking about ZITS people!!!)
The pinnacle of civilisation. Humanity might have been destined to spread consciousness and intelligence to the universe, but we’ll never make it because Rupert Murdoch told us to sit the f*ck down where he can keep an eye on us, eat some more Ice Cream and Shut Up.

because the News is on.

4 02 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Germane, you always nail it dude! I will stick to watching sport. My 15 mins with Shirl’s The Stefanovic this morn could lead me to substance abuse.

6 02 2011
Rob

Um…gee…that wuz a hell doobie – really kicked in some cool streamofconciousness.
Yeah, the bogan majority population of this nation is the perfect rich (well, rich relative to, say, New Zealand) fat, lazy and stupid crew to satisfy Rupert’s agenda, whatever that is.
Go Germaine!

4 02 2011
DuxLux

I loved the Sky news continuous blanket coverage of a palm tree blowing horizontal for hours upon end. Talk about a footage bonanza – that there was TV GOLD!!

Take that Kochie and Mel!!

4 02 2011
Mumfy27

saw a new bogan tatt today at the big day out. It was on some bogans back in big block print EST 1986. Then to top it off he screams to the band playing at the time (Gypsy and The Cat)……”play f^%king Joan” nice specimen right there

4 02 2011
Germane Riposte

thank you duxlux, you reminded me of Australia’s most famous sheet of Gal. I must have seen the same piece of shed blowing down the mainy at Innisfail exactly forty’leven times. Channel Seven even showed it in slo-mo. like cycled the footage three times back to back with the middle cut in slo-mo duh. this was before the storm even landed.
It was just up the road from my old mate John-Henry’s place! true
Celebrity Gal.

or is it ally?
nah. it’s gal.
.

4 02 2011
James Hunter

what about the incessant incorrect use of the word “decimate” ?

6 02 2011
Edward

Oh yes, now there is a a word which doesn’t mean what most people think.

5 02 2011
BoganBoobs

I’ve countered the anticlimactic sentiments of national media by jumping on the natural disaster bandwagon.
Check out my post-disaster T-Shirt line on my blog http://boganboobs.blogspot.com/
See you there !

11 02 2011
afr

Anna Bligh is far from being Australia’s first female premier as you declare on your blog (well she was third, not including Chief Ministers in ACT and NT).

5 02 2011
Ivana Boganista

Haven’t heard from the bogan in laws for quite some time.
Lo and behold we got an overwhelming stream of texts just before we experienced Yasi, expressing concern for our wellbeing.
The next day when I texted them all that we had come out unscathed, they texted back “oh that’s good”.
Haven’t had an actual call from them since to see what it actually was that we experienced. They wanted to be the “owners” of the death (us) and carnage (our house and community) scenario, and when that didn;t happen they lost interest.
Bit like commercial media really.

5 02 2011
Boganwatcher

I loved Sunrise’s coverage the day after the cyclone – Kochie standing outside in a hoodie, warning that there were sheets of metal flying EVERYWHERE and to stay inside while people in t-shirts sedately walked past in the background. He was pretty disappointed that Townsville hadn’t been completely trashed and rushed up to several people asking “How TERRIFIED were you last night?”

5 02 2011
urbanreverie

And it seems that Mike Carlton, that rara avis – a left-wing commercial radio talkback host – reads this site. Check out one of the paragraphs about the middle of Mike’s column in the SMH today:

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/flatearthers-its-time-for-a-cold-shower-20110204-1agt8.html

And Mike, if you’re reading this – and judging by today’s column you probably are – love your work. Keep it up. And (belated) happy 65th birthday 🙂

5 02 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Urban, well spotted. Shame he did not use V’vs reworking of Delvine with the double G.

*waves at Mike*

5 02 2011
p'bee

i saw that and thought exactly the same thing, urban.

7 02 2011
Shazza

Was it this that aroused your suspicions:

These are people who believe they are beset by a cabal of lefties, Greenies, gays, femi-Nazis, Muslims, venal and incompetent public servants and latte-sipping intellectuals conspiring to deprive them of all they hold dear, like their inalienable right to own a jet-ski and to name their children Breeyanna and Jaxxon.

7 02 2011
Pendant

More than just his suspicions I’d say

7 02 2011
Mick

or is Mike one of our regular posters…

5 02 2011
CoffeeSnob

I hope Thorpe does stick the comeback. Then I can look forward to the commentators’ over use of the word “Thorpedo!”

6 02 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

And the bogan can continue to speculate when he will come out.

6 02 2011
James Hunter

Simon,
A Gay Thorpedo is more then my immagination can take

6 02 2011
Simon - Glasser at Arms, Constant source of Randomness

Perhaps Viv can confirm but I don’t reckon it needs imagination.

6 02 2011
James Hunter

Simon, Touche, Hmmm is that what they say before they stick it in or before they pull it out ?

6 02 2011
martin

More medals at the Olympics. Yay I’m so excited and filled with jingoism. We’re the best at swimming because we spend 10 billion dollars each on our swimmers!

6 02 2011
Rob

Ongoing cyclone stuff:
The Levy:
Yasi started in Fiji, so it’s their fault.
They should pay for all the damaged metallic green HSV utes, jet skis, ruined sports memorabilia, $750,000 uninsured bogan McMansions, $600,000 per annum net profit banana plantations, privatised railways, roads and electricity transmission equipment, and so on.
And education programs, to teach bogans not to buy rubbish insurance from those shonky outfits that advertise relentlessly to the fearful-and-not-very-smart- marketing- whiz- kid defined target audience on Foxtel and (for shame!) SBS.

6 02 2011
James Hunter

Rob,
What planet do you come frtom? $600,000 PA bananna plantations ? By the time Bananna farmer pays wages sets aside moneys for machinery replacement, and for survival during years when whole crop is wiped out added to the normal running costs of fuel chemicals fertilisers consumables like plastic bags most of them barely make a living that city people would call comfortable.
People like my self that grew up on the land and know what it is like to have five years drought broken by floods that was the farms phone lines and access roads away would not make such uninformed and insensitaive comments.

6 02 2011
Rob

Hi James. I think there’s supposed to be an element of humour in these discussions. Please don’t take any comments made too seriously.
Q. What’s a bananna?
A1. A cross between a banana and a bandanna
A2. A cross between a banana and Eric Bana

7 02 2011
chris

Ban-anna; ie anti Anna Bligh sentiment in some parts of Qld.

7 02 2011
Legless on Thalidomide

Well played, Sir!

7 02 2011
James Hunter

Chris,
Thank you, figured some one would figure it out.

7 02 2011
HappyFriend

Calm down, nobody died. It’s just bananas. (I don’t even like bananas)It’s not like there was a mass shooting. People have to allow for variations in weather.
“If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the fire”.

7 02 2011
v'visexxx!on

I’m starting my own Countdown to Total Banana Anarchy and Destruction. WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!! And they will be so expensive and manky we will panic and be inundated by this once in a century Banana crisis. OMG why isnt a midget weatherman reporting on this right now, knee deep in mushed bananas??? WHY

7 02 2011
chris

A midget weatherman knee-deep in mushed bananas. Kindly keep your erotic fantasies to yourself, viv. 😀

7 02 2011
Liam

Settle domn James. Other farmers are having a hard time, but Tully banana farmers were making a fortune. The place has more millionaires than any other similarly small town in Australia.

7 02 2011
The Bogan from 'Berra

I thought Tully was mainly sugar cane and all the bananas were up around Innisfail? You know, because there’s a sugar refinery in Tully?

7 02 2011
Mick

There’s more sugar mills around Innisfail than Tully. Well, there was. One blew over in Larry.

Lots and lots of barefoot millionaires around Tully. Bananas and sugar both pay well.

7 02 2011
James Hunter

Mick ( and others) Glad to see I have got people talking about something other then would be celebs and sports antiheros.

8 02 2011
Lola

Why has the Tully banana disaster driven the prices up so much when only a few years ago, the same thing in Coffs had the same result? Did all the bananas go to FNQ or something?
I smell a whinging farmer conspiracy (abetted by the media and the supermarkets).

6 02 2011
at least the dog is always glad to see me

is Shane Warne’s show still on?
or did Baby Jesus bring it home?

6 02 2011
at least the dog is always glad to see me

I can’t decide whether to watch The Season Premiere ABC Special Television Event Four Corners or the Underbelly Movie on monday night…

7 02 2011
Mick

TBL #865. Free Guvmint Money.

Was just walking past the centrelink office line-up. They must have had a velvet rope there judging by the queue. Now, I’m not sure of the criteria for disaster cash, but I would have guessed that Cairns, especially up my way, was reletively untouched.

I heard the phrase “free guvmint money” from three different bogan acquaintances. Followed by tales of hardship only matched once in history. That was when the centrelink computer went down and they couldn’t get welfare cash for a week.

7 02 2011
The Bogan from 'Berra

As far as i know, disaster cash is payable to anyone who went without electricity for 48 hours. Paid at $1000 per household + $400 per child.

7 02 2011
Mick

Really?

That’s gonna annoy the folk in my suburb. We lost it for 47 hours.

7 02 2011
The Bogan from 'Berra

Yeah, that’d piss me right of lol. A few of my mates in Townsville intend to claim it….not sure if it’s means tested though.

7 02 2011
Mick

It seems I’ve lose my nail clippers. I’ll blame looters(steal anything those bastards), and get a grand off Julia to pay for replacement and mental stress.

7 02 2011
Pandabater

If Gerry Harvey is so concerned about the govt.
losing GST revenue to overseas websites, why isn’t
he jumping up & down about 1/2 price milk.
Govt. is losing heaps of GST but no protest from Gerry.
Why not?

See, this is what happens when there is no post.
People ask stupid questions.

7 02 2011
v'visexxx!on

Beause GST isn’t charged on milk! Otherwise a good point… 🙂

7 02 2011
Pandabater

See, as Mr Garrison says
“there are no stupid questions, only stupid people”

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