Christmas Day Off

17 12 2010

Hi everyone, it’s Chas again on behalf of the fine folk here at this noble bastion of boganic inquiry. Just letting you know that we’re taking a well-earned Friday off to have the (now annual) TBL Christmas party today. For the purposes of research, this will be in the Docklands precinct of Melbourne, so if you’re out that way this afternoon, and see a bunch of inner-north latte sipping, Labor voting/Liberal voting, university law students/arts students/<insert your predetermined prejudice here> gents looking incongruous and strangely dressed for the area, come say hello. It may be us!

In the meantime, instead of BBo today, here’s a Christmas video we like:

Cheers from the TBL team.


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138 responses

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Enjoy gentleman, you have deserved it with a year of fun and mocking. If I read about a glassing in Melbourne I will be hoping it is you on the blunt end!

17 12 2010
Shirley

Merry Christmas Party dudes. Have a Pimm’s cup for me and thanks for the LOLZ this year. 2010 wouldn’t have been the same without you.

17 12 2010
p'bee

merry christmas. enjoy your christmas party.

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I recommend Pinot for lunch personally.

17 12 2010
James Hunter

ah a man of impecable taste.

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thanks JH. How is the Mrs H?

17 12 2010
James Hunter

Simon, thanks for asking, She is having a battle at the moment. two artificial hips one 17 years old the other 18 and both needing replacement. so she is having mobility problems and she is prone to falls as the lh one esp just seems to go from unber her. Actually looking forward to having them replaced come early new year.

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Good luck with it!

17 12 2010
SD

Hello from Australia’s best city, TBL!

Oh its our party today too.

So if you see a small brown person in a red and green sari (festive!) who is a chai latte drinking libtard and around the Quay , come say hello.

Game on, what’s everyone wearing!

17 12 2010
SD

duh the internets ate up my insert your predetermined prejudice here!

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

jeans by levi
T-Shirt by Bape
cardigan by Nanna
Shoes by converse
hair by indifference
predictable.

17 12 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Royal Australian Navy standard issue boxer shorts…

Merry Christmas!

17 12 2010
v'visexxxion

and a cheeky smile?

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Hey V’v,

Have checked out Shirley M, Semen Detective. Very impressive and I am flattered to be included, I think. I can see Chubby & Edna in Weeping Baby Jesus. I am sure all the regulars will get a berth at some stage. Good work and have a great weekend.

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

thrilled.
V’v has set the bar soo high! OMG!
I wanted to have a go, but I feel like a chump LOL
he has Mad bogan fiction Skilz.

18 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Go on Chubs!

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

“Braidynne cursed as the big HSV slid sideways on the off ramp. In moments he had the big sedan back under control and was laughing. Just two days ago he was wondering how he was going to make the 18 months interest free repayments on the plasma, now that would be the least of his worries. He’d even be able to buy new tyres for the beast. “Nah, Fuck it!” he thought to himself, “I’m gonna buy a whole new fuckin’ car! Carl Williams has got nothing on me. I bet that prick had never even heard of P.M.A.” he glanced at the huge bag of pills on the passenger seat and laughed again. He wouldn’t be going back to the same car dealer though. The curry poofter salesman had laughed when he asked if he could get the Senator with a Chevrolet badge. He fixed that cunt when he turned up at Daymonn’s Poker Night. Glassed him with an empty Beck’s pint glass. Braidynne let his mind wander back to the night he and Daymonn had stolen the pint glass from the ministry of sound gig at The G’ Barn. Was that the same night T’yrannhye had let him do her up the arse? Or was that when he bought her the Tiffany bracelet? A vision of T’yrannhye’s massive tits compressing on the edge of the spa at palazzo versacci as he drilled her rectum swam into mind. Braidynne smiled again and stepped on the gas as he swilled his Woodstock. The bitch was going waxing today he remembered, he’d be dining in Brazil before heading up the old Dirt Track tonight.”

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

my effort will be in moderation ’til monday, but if and when it gets up you’ll see it’s clearly sub par.
I’m more journalist than novelist.
viv is gifted

18 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Travelling a similar highway to the original gonzo journalist (you, not the HSV driver), your reportage nous always brings a wide grin to my face, as no doubt to others here to.

v’v’s fictional accounts too also are a source of both mirth and caution, should be included in the Year 12 Literature syllabus post haste, in addition to adding the Junior SD Shirley Mullet to that of middle school…they too could learn a lot from her adventures!

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

…and you, you little dickens!
geez. I was gonna hunt you down while I was in the west. but that would be crossing the fifth wall, and maybe odd. if I could write like you, I would have absolutely no time to play in here. maybe if I could sit still and compose myself for five minutes…

18 12 2010
v'visexxxion

I’ll look at writing Shirley Mullet and the Weeping Baby Jesus over the xmas break when I have lots of time – if I include Chubby And Edna it will have to be written in a 60’s / 70’s Scooby Doo Style/ Josie and The Pussy Cats teen gang style 🙂 Lots of driving around in a van solving mysteries with Teen S.D Shirley Mullet! It will be part of her Lost Years between innocent childhood and serious detective work.

Any of you can take up the torch and have a crack at it though.

18 12 2010
v'visexxxion

or should it be set in the Hood, 1970’s, porn era, lots of cocaine, heroin,pimps, ho’s, leopard print, velveteen and Shirley Mullet driving around in a purple V8 Charger helping hookers survive on the mean streets? Too many decisions to make. Anyway , my quiff needs cutting and I’ve got to get organised for the day….

18 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Both. The 70’s one kind of like Shaft maybe.

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

we like the seventies.

18 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I’d love a look in with her travels w-a-y out West, assisting the young Shirley in understanding the unique psychology of those who live in that isolated outpost.

I’d be happy to submit a draft for you v’v to flesh out in your inimitable style.

18 12 2010
James Hunter

shirl with her profession would be more up on their physiology ?

18 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Both.

18 12 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

How is the quiff V’v?

18 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Hi Edna, Le quiff has been upgraded! I braved the rain and hauled my ar$e across town on public transport to get just the right hairdresser on to the job! And it was worth the effort, there is nothing worse than an unruly quiff !

No as for the rest of you other lazy, stoner lay-abouts, stop making excuses and start producing some work for the blog. It can be anything you like. A photo journal, a song, a poem, a piece of in depth investigative journalism a la Carrie Bickmore. Shirley has a song up now – there is a link to her twit-vid page on the front page.
Christ, get wasted and write “Karcher Me” on a bogan’s dirty 4WD and photograph it for me if you can’t think of anything else…

17 12 2010
Shirley

Brown velvet cut off skirt, hot pink singlet, accessorised with a sheen of perspiration.

21 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

..today
He wears:
Yves St Laurent Flanelette in Navy and Lemon check (salvation army voucher, darlinghurst) over canary yellow vintage Reg Mombassa “interstellar space monster/humans are idiots” Tee (Goodwill, Hindley St Adelaide) with Diesel distressed denim low rise jeans (Goodwill, Henley Beach Rd) and well worn blue Bum Fronted, Dragon Print Double Pluggers (Mobil Roadhouse Tenant Creek NT)
She wears:
B/W Polka Dot Pinafore (Cue) with black woolen long sleeve bolero (Some Op Shop) Elastic Strap mid heel Sandal (Mum). Horizontal fine B/W stripe Tote Bag. (Gladys Sim Choon, Rundle St)

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’m wearing a suit, getting some work photos done today. Just so happens we are also lunching (my work team).

17 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Today I am wearing a simple 1950’s inspired maroon and black panel shirt with an embroided swirly/crown motif – button up, with black pants. (my sister told me when i showed her the shirt – “Oh that’s what they wear on 2 1/2 men” – I nearly threw it out but then they would win..) We are having our second round work x-mas drinks this afternoon – I think we may be boozehounds. Happy hols TBL!

17 12 2010
Pendant

As much as I loathe 2.5 men, I’ve got to say I am a fan of those ’50s style ‘bowling shirts’ that the main guy seems to wear a lot.

17 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Agreed. The only problem is the best looking ones are always polyester, and in the heat of summer you have to triple dose the deodorant or stink after 10 minutes. Hasn’t stopped me buying them though.

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I have a kick ass genuine bowling shirt.
indeterminate vintage, but the wide collar suggests 70’s.
Navy Blue with hand embroidered “Vestavia Bowl” and a saucy flourish in whit on the back and “Moose” above the cigarette pocket. White action panel inserts in the armpit.
I love it dearly, but it is 100% space age polyester.
Augmenting it with a white bonds raglan cotton tee seems to help ameliorate the pitty flood.
Clarence Park Bazaar on goodwood road. she brings in heaps of cool second hand from the U.S.

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

white

17 12 2010
v'visexxxion

I found this shop in Brisbane which makes them new and sells them online – good price and locally made too. Highly recommend them, actually better quality than my old favourite stockists Route 66, who I think has gone downhill in recent years.

http://www.tigerrag.com.au/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2_28

17 12 2010
James Hunter

Simon, how do bear the shame? at least look serious while its hapening !

17 12 2010
Tone

If I were in Docklands this afternoon, I’d be looking for six Ed Hardy clad, melanin-rich types each clutching a Corona. Then I’d be looking for an ambulance as one of the c*nts would glass me. Over on the next table, the TBL boys would be looking on and laughing.

Merry Christmas, chaps. Congrats on another fine year of poking boganity with a stick.

P.S. Will this years Christmas Special blog entry be along the lines of Car Antlers?

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Cars with antlers provides legal grounds for divorce.

17 12 2010
p'bee

i saw a car last week with only one antler – it was on the far side of the car so at first looked like someone had their hand sticking up out of the window, but then the car turned around and it was just one sad sorry antler.

19 12 2010
martin

I’ve been seeing those a lot around my area. I guess they’re not too bad and mean well. Thankfully not a single “My Family” sticker. Which do not mean well.

20 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I am forming a suspicion that these antlers are only available at one particular Bogan Trap and thus are a type of advertising also.
which makes them even more lame.

17 12 2010
p'bee

i’m wearing a black british sea power t-shirt, jeans, a belt with pegs printed on it, and cheapo leopard-print sandshoes. spot the uni student.

17 12 2010
James Hunter

p’bee, the present british govewrnment have sold the british maritime and air power down the drain. look for a new tee shirt !

17 12 2010
p'bee

quite appropriate that the shirt also says recently extinct then.

17 12 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I shan’t see you as I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere near the docks.

17 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Why’s that Fiona, do the sailors come to you now?

17 12 2010
p'bee

well, after the incident…

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

likely a quarantine issue.

17 12 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Just think though, If you did , you would stand out from the crowd and undoubtedly be the subject of much favourable comment. Mwwwwwwah

17 12 2010
johnnydrama

Oh Fi, I’m sure there’s more important things like writing sympathy/Christmas cards for Ted and his terminal renal calculi. Personally I hope he felt like he was pissing razor blades (LOL) 🙂

17 12 2010
Pendant

Have fun TBL. You’ve certainly made my 2010 more bearable.

Off topic: Just got home from walking through a blizzard for 40mins. Roads were closed around the house and Mrs. Pendant’s train had to terminate one stop too soon. I couldn’t let her walk home alone after midnight, so it was blizzard-ho for me. Enjoy the sunshine non-bouge compatriots.

17 12 2010
James Hunter

I know it is of topic but I have a Christmas wish: I am trying to find in the Newcastle / Maitland area a muso for backing for our show, keyboard, accordian, guitar not fussey, music skills not the main thing. Someone who could enjoy our work and add their own personality to the mix. check the website http://www.circusbizarre and if interested contact “Baby Hanibal” at hanibal@chariot.com.au

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

seasons greetings and sincere best wishes fellows.
have a drink for my beautiful wife Edna Focke-Witte, it’s her birthday.

17 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Wish Edna a Happy Birthday for me ! I’ll have a bevvy in her name later this afternoon 🙂

17 12 2010
p'bee

happy birthday to edna!

17 12 2010
Shirley

Happy birthday Edna!

17 12 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Thanks for the birthday wishes
I love youse all.
X

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Happy Birthday Edna, I just had a bit of Adelaide Hills Sparkling and a NZ Pinot in your honour. Worse ways to spend a Friday. I might knock off I think.

18 12 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Hey simon, thanks for the well wishes.
Did you get my reply the other day?
just in case…

GUNTOXEN!

18 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

GOLD!

17 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Salutations for this day and have a great year ahead 🙂

In solidarity,
BO’T

18 12 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Cheers BO’T!

Right back at you dude.
Fight the Power.

17 12 2010
Tombarina

Happy b’day, Edna – hope yours is as good as mine was yesterday!
x

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Salutations Tomba, I hope Parking man got you a nice set of Sporks and that you put then to good use.

17 12 2010
SD

Edna & Tomba

I am sure you are having a blast, happy birthday!

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

felices navidad and all that rot your lordship.
Chubby & Edna

18 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Happy belated birthday Tomabarina – hope you made out like a bandit in the gift dept. Any Pandora??

18 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Only if they make a charm to signify “antibogan”.

Best wishes—albeit belatedly—to you Tomba.

In Solidarity against The Bogan Menace,
BO’T 🙂

21 12 2010
Phil

Hey Chubby

The 17th is my brthday too!

22 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh my god!
we could be married!
on another ‘brane.
Happy Birthday Phil!
We had grain fed fillet and an ’85 Hill of Grace with a Sara Lee Black Forest Cake for desert to celebrate your birthday.
thanks for the excuse!
you should come around more.

17 12 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Merry Christmas TBL.
If you were in Adelaide I would definitely be trying to stalk you…
ALL

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

does this mean there’s no cunt to moderate us?
Fuck!

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

thats just juvenile chubby.

17 12 2010
p'bee

wasting time on youtube and it seems that there is going to be fast and the furious 5. surely they all would have died in a car crash by now?

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Will this one be sub titled – In the Retirement Village, The Camry Years.

17 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

They may be relegated to white and beige Camrys, but that doesn’t stop ’em performing fully sik mods like darkening the indicator lenses, so no one knows whether they’re indicating or not. Or tinkering with the speed limiting devices, so they can always remain 10 km/h below the posted limit, in the right-hand lane.

Havoc and hijinks aplenty arise when the new resident creeps up in their ’76 Toyota Crown, modded for action…wide mirrors, reece hitch and CB antenna: that upsets the apple cart and all hell breaks loose on the Great Ocean Road, where the established Camry Crew pit their mad caravan towing skilz against the Crown(ed) Crusader.

There’s more mayhem out on B100…the motorcyclist who wanted a quick early morning fang on the sweepers wished that it was just some stoned hippies that he had to overtake. As for the MX-5 driver who dared to pass them on the rare straight, well, their alfresco motoring experience was sullied when they were hurled not only a mouthful of invective, but a soiled incontinence pad as well, from the grey-haired louts and senile delinquents rattling on about literally owning the road, for they payed their taxes for so many years to the gummint, as well as trying to determine where the next lavatory stop was going to be, due to their weak bladder and needing to change their pants anyway.

Foge And The Furious 5…coming soon to an autumn centre and caravan show near you!

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You should certainly be in Hollywood Bag O. Perhaps you could write a film treatment for V’vs blog? You write well dude. Stay cool.

17 12 2010
p'bee

margaret will certainly give that film 5 stars.

17 12 2010
TheBattlersPrince

And David just the one star….

18 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Only because of the hand held camera work

18 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’m with David on that. The wobly unfocused hand held stuff sh!ts me.

18 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

There is a biography of Andy Kaufman by his longtime friend and collaborator, Bob Zmuda and there is a story about how they were inspired by this particularly eccentric and shady fellow who made an outrageous fortune by being a script doctor, taking lamearsed storyboards and fettling them into something tolerable.

Nothing that strange about that in itself. However, this chap in has capacity as a mentor would ask them to pursue various errands towards an end of creating all manner of farcical situations, many of which would offend the sensibilities of any upstanding citizen. The resulting chaos that ensued would be both grist for the mill for the script doctor and incubate the fearlessness in the comedy that Kaufman and Zmuda were notorious for.

Not sure I’d be up to snuff there, not to mention the fact I find the Hollywood machine rather tawdry. Nevertheless, it would be grand fun to do as that mysterious identity did and profit handsomely whilst subverting the movie industry…

17 12 2010
daniel green

bloody bogans cant resist making remarks on their day off…

17 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

If you need a Friday Laugh Hot Chicks with Douchebags are handing out their yearly awards for Douchebaggery. Some very disturbing photos. Scroll back several pages to get all the awards.

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

17 12 2010
p'bee

i opened the page to an was confronted by the termigator. there should be a law against that sort of thing.

17 12 2010
SD

I can see that everyone is a cool dresser!

17 12 2010
urbanreverie

Hmmm, SD. Blue t-shirt with my uni’s logo on it, navy blue shorts and blue sandals. I am proof that you don’t have to be a fashionable hipster to be anti-bogan. 😉

Merry Christmas everyone! And if you find your bogan relatives too much to handle this festive season, never forget that the TBL fan community is here to help – if you need to rant or a virtual shoulder to cry on, remember that we’re all only a click of a mouse away. 🙂

17 12 2010
SD

Good job Urban, that attire seems 100% bogan proof!
PS: Mick + Sten if you happen to troll these parts, greetings!

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

ok.
I got the Bape shirts at harbour town, and I buy my jeans from the goodwill on Henley Beach road.
the cons are full price – I get a new pair for my birthday each year.
I shoplift my undies.

17 12 2010
Pandabater

Happy Christmas everyone!

Don’t stop ’till you get enough.

Xenu loves you all.

17 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

To all the esteemed arbiters of good taste and antibogan savagery at TBL: thanks for being one of the pivotal highlights of this otherwise dark Year of Our Lord 2010…a year that I had plumbed the depths of my being to discover who I was after erasing too much of my own identity over a fair number of them in the last decade.

After extensive and immersive therapy, combined with the healing effects of acquainting myself with artistic pursuits such as music, poetry and photography and stumbling upon kindred souls here on this blog—united not just in criticism of bogan behaviours, but also by they wanting to be self-aware and considerate people, the antithesis of bogan—I have begun to reclaim my identity and live a life true to my ethos, difficult as it can be at times contending both with mental illness and forging a new path often on my own.

Sounds a little too profound, alas? But that’s my journey and TBL has been a valuable forum for myself, as I’m sure it has been for others who appear here.

Bravo to both the TBL staff (kudos for getting a book published) and to the vast majority of commenters, who in the main, contribute a lively and thought-provoking dialogue, of which I’m pleased to identify with.

As The Beatles would’ve said, Merry Crimble. And let’s hope we here can do our own small parts each in dissembling the bogan menace come 2011.

In solidarity,
BO’T

17 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

cheery mishmash Turnips.
The Word of the West. orator. statesman. iconoclast.
you beautiful man.

17 12 2010
Guntal Queepage

I’m thinking of auctioning off this handle for charity.
anyone interested?

17 12 2010
Mumfy27

jeeze whoever thought of putting facebook on mobiles is a genius. The amount of status updates in my news feed tonight from people that are at work Christmas shows and how drunk there getting. Also bad luck to anyone that has got work done today by a tradie. Today has a name in tradie circles “Fruity Friday” the last day before Christmas where the bogan traides just doesn’t give a f%^k about the job there doing

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

my god!
a pure vein of bogan gold!
driving home yesterday after the teppanyaki crisis, we were privelaged to see a young bogan being ejected from some barn on Unley road. Elwood, G-Unit, blah blah, but the most bizarre hair like a long “spike” cut on top, gelled to stand upright, with the “short back and sides” sides and the “proto mullet” fringes at the back. All slapping his chest and pointing at the bouncers as his mates “held him back”.
C’mon. Its not worth it Dean. Their just maggots Deano.
we were sitting at the lights. front row seat.
I think there were even finger guns.

18 12 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
You did not have even a “9” with you? Shame

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

nah.
just my old 1911.
there were just too many bystanders.
you can’t get away with that sort of collateral damage anymore.
it’s political correctness gone mad

18 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Douchebag alert!

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

in Unley of all places!

18 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yeh, who’d a thunk it.

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

you know, I am so in love with Adelaide.
who would have thought?
after being away and travelling around…
It’s just really nice to be back here.
go figure.

18 12 2010
James Hunter

could have been worse. It could have been Melbourne St ??

20 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

we Never go North.
unless we’re heading out to the Valleys.
and then we close our eyes and drive very fast until we get past Gawler.

19 12 2010
Mumfy27

yeah i saw many a bogan dochebag like you just described last night out the town. Heck i even was drinking with them ( bucks show). Highlight of the night though was a discussion of China and Australia’s agricultural relationship between the grooms father and a Chinese man in the Rosemont.It was diplomacy at its finest……Now to footspa my feet i walked from the city to Glen Osmond in my broke drunk state. Seemed like a good idea at the time

18 12 2010
Phillus

Amazing. The skill, the decication, the timing. No bogan would dare dedicate the time that this fellow has. Amazing

18 12 2010
only bouge in the village

I am indeed scared when chubs is hanging around places such as Unley Road and Henly Beach – although I do see the entertainment value as such. In my heyday it was trawling up and down Jetty Road, darn those yuppies taking away the street brawls and drunken slurries at the Grand. I too received an update from my beloved tradey who may or may not surface some time mid January – Tradies, teachers and trendoids are on holidays and on the move. Has been an inspirational year, and may next year bring more of the same. Can someone please wangle a grant or scholarship to get the said literary masterpieces written – I see a best seller lurking in those fertile minds

18 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

we try and live our lives entirely in the electorate of Boothby, but now and then one has to step out.
here’s a story for Simon, inspired by Bag O’ Turnips.

Chubby Bloodfart and the Search for Dark Intelligence
well, more of an idea than a story.
Some years ago, a clever scientist weighed the universe and was quite surprised to find it wasn’t heavy enough. There wasn’t enough matter to give the whole show enough gravity to keep spinning around or whatever it does. Anyway, the scientist got together with some other boffins and they came up with the idea of “Dark Matter”. It was obvious there was something there, they just couldn’t see it. In a similar manner, I have come, over the years, to suspect that there was a sort of “Dark Intelligence” in society. I wasn’t meeting any of it, but it must be there or surely the whole thing would collapse
Therefore I was incredibly grateful for the “Being Smart” entry. Naturally my poor impulse control and constant need for attention drove me to do the test. I was glad some others did too. It may not be relevant, but it is relative and consequently very satisfying. Y’ see, I’ve spent much of my life with people telling me I was very intelligent, and whilst that can be flattering, it left me in abject despair. “Dear God” I thork “If I am one of the intelligent ones, then humanity is well and truly fu#ked!”
I guess what I am saying in a roundabout way (It’s saturday and the cricket is almost worth watching, and I found this excellent beer called “Vale Ale” and my brother in law laid some nice bud on me) is that it is soooo nice not to be the smartest guy in the room for once. I love youse all, TBL and Punters.
there is hope for civilisation after all.

18 12 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
I would not become too complsacent. Look to the types that become politicians or worse still CEOs of Adelaide City Council ! Susan Law for one had been kicked out of inumerable positions before they gave her the job and has since destroyed Doncaster city Council and gone on her way with yet another huge severance package.
It just demonstrrates that if you want big bucks just F$#@ something big up and people will pay you big to disapear. Just so they can save face for putting you there in the first place.
The world is rotten to the core my friend and wicki leaks is yet another example. If the publisher of the leaked material had been rupert murdoch then it would have been accolades all round. as itr is the cia are going to do it the american way. truth will not out and the good guys get shafted. but that is the american way . sorry brimstone but sometimes i think the only sane people left are the crazy right wing extreemists.

18 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

The rugged individualist rightwingnuts do seem to apply a warped logic that appears to work well, at least for themselves and their coterie. The watermelon zealots (i.e. far-left green punks) have a similar survivalist ethos and thought process, though the means and ends are polar opposite.

Maybe it is both of those camps that’ll outlast the vast undifferentiated mass of lumpenproletariat bogans when the tipping point—be it when either the climate, economy or/and resources falter irretrievably—comes and sorts them out for being such lazy and lousy specimens of humanity.

Members of either of those fringe groups are no doubt laying in wait, if not eagerly anticipating, for that day of reckoning. Personally, I wouldn’t want the world to come to that. But I sure know where I’d be when the sh¡t hits the fan and that is neither panicking, nor being in the trajectory of such appliance along with the herd thinking I’m sooo kewl.

So, I must concur with you James, on that point, as much as it jars with my libtard sensibilities.

19 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

good lord!
are you dunk?

19 12 2010
James Hunter

Chubby, Me or BOT ?
In any case another bottle (well maybe two) of Hunter Valley Merlot will fix it.

18 12 2010
p'bee

i love that christmas bring unites families, doing fun activities together…
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8185468/dad-glasses-teen-son-in-pub-fight

19 12 2010
v'visexxxion

The Family that Glasses Together Stays Together – I really should be embroidering these sayings onto cushions and selling them.

18 12 2010
James Hunter

If it does for you then you are one of the fortunate ones.

18 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I’d love to compose and album of Yuletide songs. Not those of the hackneyed kind that for a kickoff don’t even apply in the Antipodes! Not even pastiches or hoary renditions of all those well-known carols.

Let’s just say we could all write some original tunes that pick up where Paul Kelly’s “How To Make Gravy” left off; songs that encapsulate the true experience of a modern Christmas that people here and abroad experience. Such as becoming heavily indebted to by junk presents that people neither want nor need (in my family, we’ve dispensed with “Consume-mas”…hey, there’s an idea for a song!), people deserted from their families, the full spectrum of internecine conflict from mere sniping and bickering through to drug-or/and-alcohol-fuelled domestic violence, drunk drivers creating casualties and fatalities and inappropriate behaviour at work Christmas functions (I sure hope the good folk at TBL didn’t impersonate their quarry at yesterday’s do).

Cheerful topics all.

But we don’t have to degenerate into a quagmire of unrelenting misanthropy: there is room for acerbic wit yet leavened with a deeper humanity, cussing the behaviours and the agencies that facilitate those, rather than the tragic fools who bear the brunt of all this insanity, who and which have corrupted the core reasons for celebrating the season, whether identified with Christ or not, either passively or actively.

Here’s some titles to get the ball rolling:

“Snowed Under A Mountain Of Debt” (self-expalanatory)
“Accident & Emergency, 1830 Hours” (would work as a sound collage)
“Because Of He Was Born, We Are Here” (trying to justify Afghanistan or Iraq)
“A Great Profit Cometh” (tales from the perspective of Gerry Harvey)
“Instant Dickhead! (We All Skol On)” (just add alcohol…)
“Call Someone Who Cares” (the suffering of those estranged spikes at this time of year, while many mental health professionals take leave like the well-adjusted, nice, upright types they are and thus unavailable)
“Wheelie, Truly” (waste and more waste)
“Look Thru Another Window” (someone taking shelter at a women’s refuge)
“Sleeping With The Green Fairy” (unwanted kittens and puppies galore next month)
“One For the Road” (that one extra (insert bogan bevvy of choice) that meant the difference between some innocent motorist being at home at Christmas and not)
“Random Act Of Kindness” (unexpected examples of goodness that counter the usual forced bonhomie of this time of year)
“Scenes From The Salvation Army Christmas Lunch” (selected vignettes of attendees)

You get the picture, I think.

19 12 2010
Whistling Nixie

You forgot to mention food poisoning and armed robberies.

19 12 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Great ideas for songs, Nixie…better write “Cold Turkey (Has Got Me The Runs)” and “Alternative Finance Method” respectively. Or something along those lines anyways.

22 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

how about
“Is Santa Really Coming? (To Intensive Care)”
“O’ Chrisco Treee, O’ Chrisco Tree” (Where is thy value?)
“Reffo’s Never Made it to Christmas” (a big wave came and washed their boat away)
“I Saw Mummy Kissing Shane Warne” (behind a port-a-loo at the boxing day test)”

18 12 2010
Madkarnt

HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT CHRISTMAS LIGHT VIDEO!?!?

SLLLAAAYYYERRRR ARRRGGHHHH

HORNS UP.

19 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

pretty fucking awesome. I would have this tune, but I can’t do the lights.

19 12 2010
v'visexxxion

My ideal xmas house lights would be accompanied by this classic. I might just try flicking the porch light on and off for 7 minutes,on the hour tonight to see how the neighbours respond.

19 12 2010
only bouge in the village

I have discovered the epitome of Chrismas Boganity. The Shepparton Carols at the barrels. Went prepared for some light singing and a sit on a blanky. Its actually a booze fest with young things half undressed singing songs that were released when they were a foetus. Booze aplenty, rampant sexual mating rituals like an inland schoolies minus the education. The best part is it happens two weekends in a row. They have a system of tickets so you can get booze, and you are supposedly limited. All the younglings come tanked to the eyeballs, and tis jolly good fun for all. Please research further, it was the highlight of the bogan calender

19 12 2010
19 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

sorry, it’s just me.

19 12 2010
James Hunter

Chubby, that make it a first for him?

19 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I heard Hopa had gone digital.

What you say JH?

19 12 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
does that mean he gets (a) better reception ? he he he (sic)

19 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Nah, he’s still a bum.

22 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

Champagne Comedy Simon

19 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

news limited. keeping themselves relevant.
http://www.news.com.au/world/magnetic-bra-undies-designed-to-stay-on/story-e6frfkyi-1225972602520

I’m gonna just leave that one for Good News Week.

20 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

wait.
This is Genius.
Since it’s raining everywhere,
and there are empty plastic bottles laying around just, fuc3ing everywhere
shouldn’t we be collecting it all so we’re not screaming about having no water anywhere?

20 12 2010
v'visexxxion

Its ok, i have a hose.

20 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

maybe you could pick up some bottles and fill them up just in case.
if we all nip down to our local flood and fill up a few bottles. we can just chuck them back where we found them, but then when it’s not raining again in the 2020’s or something, we can pick up all the bottles!
I get the best Ideas with my morning doobie.

20 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

about six weeks ago we were going to camp on the Gascoyne, but it was late afternoon, the camp was about 30k away up a dirt road and the river was dry
like hadn’t rained since J. Christ was a handy little half back in the Jerusalem First XIII dry.
I’d love to go back to the North West and see the thousand or so massive dry riverbeds we crossed or camped at in full flow.
The diversity of life we saw at even the smallest billabong up there was extraordinary.
Just on Plate Tectonics for a sec,
I was looking at distant weatherbeaten mountain ranges around the North West coast and musing on just how ancient it all was, and it occurred to me that all this sand was actually the bulk of what were once Himalayan Peaks back when Gondwana first came together or rose up or whatever. The sense of Immense Time was profound and almost mystical.
Way more profound y than some poor half back getting nailed onto something or other anyway.

20 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

say y
I say y not

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