A public appeal to Richard Wilkins

29 11 2010

We, the writers of the popular website and book Things Bogans Like have announced today that we have forgiven Richard Wilkins. In our recently released book (featuring Richard on the cover), we have variously accused Wilkins of hijacking telethons, hijacking red carpet specials, being outflanked by Max Markson as the ideal celebrity conduit for bogans, and being a polymer that doesn’t actually exist. Other allegations that have been swirling in recent months include the theory that Richard Wilkins’ soul is trapped inside the hologram installed in every Power Balance Band that is sold to bogans with the promise of a 500% increase in power and agility.

Despite the grave nature of the abovementioned accusations, we at Things Bogans Like hereby vow to forgive Richard, for he is just a Kiwi who inadvertently got sucked into the bogan celebrity maelstrom. As of today, Things Bogans Like will not speculate on Richard’s possible involvement in Paul Hogan’s taxation fraud, global warming, or Karl Stefanovic’s continued presence on Australian television screens. The authors have seen the light, and now realise that it’s actually all P!nk’s fault.

P!nk’s newly announced pregnancy (and associated greatest hits album) is of great concern to the future of Australia. If, as is expected, this child is thrust into the entertainment industry, it is feared that it will create a bogan-fuelled dynasty in the Australian entertainment landscape. Another generation of misinformed American celebrities berating Australian farmers, another generation of American celebrities performing 84 nights in a row at Rod Laver Arena, and exporting all of the bogan bucks back to the USA. It must be stopped.

We forgive you, Richard Wilkins. Please team with Things Bogans Like, and use your maxtreme celebrity-herding powers to communicate to Australia’s bogans that sending P!nk’s next album 9 times platinum is not in their long term interests. The future of our children, and our children’s children is at stake.


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173 responses

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

He has a soul? I assumed that had been traded for hair gel years ago, during the Richard Wilde days

29 11 2010
Tone

Is this another way of saying “Richard Wilkins’ lawyers can beat up TBL’s lawyers”?

29 11 2010
nauseated

I suspect so. How sad.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Anything that stops P!nk is worth a try. She is one of the most evil characters on Earth.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Can someone post this on the today facebook page or somewhere Duck might see it? I am using a work email so probably not a good idea for me!

29 11 2010
Tombarina

There’s an air of mild benevolence and self-deprecation about Dickie which, for me, has never sat comfortably with claims that he embodies pure boganity.

The same cannot be said for Shane Warne, Sam Newman, Russell Crowe and others of their vain, self-absorbed, humourless ilk.

At best, Dickie’s guilty of first degree butt-kissing, abuse of hair product and orangeness.

The Court of Tomba convicts him on all counts, and sentences him to three years’ community service as a Customs agent, preventing P!nk, former boyband members, assorted Kardashians, alleged Logie ‘special international guests’, the accursed inventors of the My Family stickers, Stephanie Rice, Paul Hogan and Mel Gibson from entering Orstraya.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Can he deport U2 as well Tomba?

29 11 2010
Tombarina

Too late. Kruddy let them in so he could be photographed looking all world-leadery with Bono, the giant knob.

29 11 2010
Shirley

That shit makes my blood boil, I tell ya. When the singer of a shit rock band is treated like a world leader, and whose opinions on Australia’s foreign aid are respected and reported, you know that as a nation we are more bogan than not.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Every country treats Bono (the spanker) like that. What is it with him that they all love? No one treated Joey Ramone that way and he sure deserved it more than Bono. I’m sure at some stage he will tell us to treat our sheep better.

29 11 2010
Tombarina

I hear you, Shirl. Opinions are like aR$h0les, and why Bono’s or Sir Bob’s or Brangelina’s should be treated as gospel by a fawning media is a mystery. An embarrassing mystery.

BTW, check out ‘Dead Aid’ by Dambisa Moyo – Zambian-born, Harvard- and Oxford-educated economist, formerly of Goldman Sachs and the World Bank.

She argues persuasively AGAINST foreign aid for her continent and is particularly harsh on Bono & Co who, she says, “manipulatively become the spokespeople for the African continent”. She says 50 yrs of paternalism and more than 1 trillion in aid has “made many African governments so lazy they have created a vacuum where anyone, in this case celebrities, feels it is OK to jump in and start propounding policy on Africa”.

Moyo also makes the outlandish suggestion that the capacity to knock out a couple of tunes or look pretty on camera is no substitute for a deep understanding of aid psychology, programs and long-term economics. She so krazy…..

29 11 2010
Shirley

Yeah I’ve read of Dead Aid but would very much like to read further. In fact, I might order it today. Take that Bono!

29 11 2010
SD

Re the world stage, I think it has to do with Bono’s personality-didn’t Tony Blair’s autobio say he was a consummate politician?

So over white popstars/movie stars proclaiming themselves saviours of something or the other. Apart from the aid being misused (honestly people its better to give to a local charity than line some idiot’s purse elsewhere), it sidelines people on the ground who put in the hard yards and know the issues.

What’s with the post not showing up on the TBL page?

Wilkins is an idiot- of this I am sure. Anything on Nein is verboten. If they buy 10 they will take an already vacuous channel and make it so goddam awful that you will be gobsmacked at the depths of idiocy that can be achieved.

29 11 2010
Robbie

Simon GAA – surely you’re not suggesting that U2 are of bogue ilk??

Perhaps not, but bogans sure do like ’em. TBL

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yep, fully fledged and card carrying!

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Here’s proof. It’s all about being the biggest, spending the most. Don’t worry about whether is is actually any good.

“U2’S 360 Degrees tour, the most expensive rock spectacle ever, is here.

The tour, with a daily running cost of $850,000, arrived on six 747 jets to be assembled by a crew of 130.

“You compare a tour by the number of trucks they use,” production manager Jake Berry said. “The Rolling Stones ran 46 trucks. We are running 55. This is the biggest.”

“I can assure you the costs of putting this show on are the highest in history,” McGuinness said.”

29 11 2010
p'bee

and yet it will still be underwhelming. i got free tickets to their last tour (metres from the stage, so view of all their snazzy lights and things) and while they put on an alright show it wouldn’t figure anywhere near the top of my best concerts list – it’d actually be quite a long way down.

29 11 2010
martin

I looked at the prices for tickets. $1000 to stand up close, in the crowd, $800 for some other area, $175 to stand about a light year away. I shan’t be too displeased if I never go to a concert again.

29 11 2010
p'bee

there’s no way that u2 live are worth even a fraction of that, light shows and 747s or no.

2 12 2010
$hruglife

Well, my tickets to Hot Water Music and Bouncing Souls at the corner this saturday cost me $40. I can guarantee they put on a better show than Bono & Mr. Edge.

29 11 2010
Will S

Nice. I wonder how much Andre’s portable castle costs to lug around.

29 11 2010
martin

U2 sound too mainstream for libtards to like them. Libtards like their music to sound like it’s coming from a drug addled vegetarian anarchist/commie.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You are right there Martin. Libtards prefer Bon Iver and that kind of crap, coz you know it’s sooo meaningful.

U2 need the flashing lights to cover up for sub par musical output since The Unforgetable Fire when they started concentrating on being U2 instead of making good music.

29 11 2010
p'bee

hey! bon iver is brilliant!
i’m going to go hurrumph in my corner now.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Sorry P’bee!

Still don’t like them though.

29 11 2010
SD

That makes me a libtard then. And I don’t mind being one at all if it means I get to enjoy Mr. Vernon’s dreamy charm.

p’bee they are just jealous:-)

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I did try to listen to them once but fell asleep and had a strange compunction to sit down and braid hair.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

Never listeden to him before, so I just you tubed him. I guess you have to be in the mood for it. Didn’t offend me, but does he suffer from singlikagirlitis in all of his songs?
And he looks like Opie from Sons of Anarchy. Which is in his favour.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yeah, another one is Mumford and Sons. My wife bought that album (she does have shocking musical taste) and played it for me in the car. It was horrible, lyrics like a high school diary keeper and bland, bland bland musical accompliment. Yuck.

30 11 2010
Sheriff struggle

Mumford and sons! Who invited the banjo?

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That’s it Sherriff. I could not remember what was so wrong and it was the bloody banjo.

The only good place for a banjo is Deliverance and the Adelaide hills. Oh and Tasmania.

30 11 2010
SD

Ukuleles and Noah and the Whale are so much better.

Don’t google them, they are very twee-various people have rolled their eyes when I listen to them or said Charlie Fink is cute.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I tend to be more of a loud rock kinda guy. I can do folksy or whatever but not bland or too cutesy/hippy if you know what I mean. Certainly no Jack Johnson and his ilk but Neil Youngs more country/folksy or stuff like The Sundays, some Cheryl Crow, bit of The Waifs, don’t know Noah.

30 11 2010
p'bee

sufjan stevens and port o’brien have made great use of banjo, too, but aren’t loud rock. you’d know port o’brien a bit because their song is on the dulux ads. corny but fun video too:

30 11 2010
p'bee

it embedded last time, why isn’t it embedding this time? stupid youtube.
the sundays are good.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

P’bee I seem to have lost my ability to embed as well. Are we being punished.

30 11 2010
p'bee

maybe, but what for, and by whom?

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

WordPress is behaving strangely behind the scenes today. Again.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Maybe it was that photo of Jo Beth’s sideboob that did it?

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

The glare from her atomic orange tan and shimmer eye shadow perhaps?

29 11 2010
SD

singlikagirlitis-yes I believe that is his USP, its intentional.

I should like Mumford and Sons but don’t.

I don’t know whether her tastes are shocking – these acts are a bit hipsterish but hey there are worse things than being a hipster!

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Trust me on this. Amoung my wifes Cd’s are Phil Collins, Farnsie, Evanessence, Enya, The Killers, Live, U2, Michael Jackson and Nickleback.

29 11 2010
SD

You have my sympathies then.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

We all have our crosses to bear. She also loves Sex and the City!?

29 11 2010
SD

SATC-oh dear.

From experience, the tastes of the SO can’t be changed, one learns to live with it.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yep, I leave the room when it is on otherwise I will crack a horse joke and have to make my own dinner, outside, in the rain.

29 11 2010
p'bee

mmm, mr vernon’s dreamy charm…

and simon, i’ll forgive your baffling dislike of bon iver this time.

29 11 2010
martin

Libtards like Iggy Pop and Bob Dylan and Something For Kate. They’re quite willing to overlook that they suck as long as the artists are libtards. Like being a vegetarian. Being a vegetarian sucks but because it’s associated with libtardness libtards like it.

U2 haven’t done anything sub par except in the last few years but I wouldn’t know for sure because I stopped being interested in any new stuff.

29 11 2010
martin

I bet even libtards liked Pink for a second until it was apparent she was going to have mainstream success. She was even anti mulesing for a while.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I do like Iggy. I can’t give him a libtard call. He glasses himself and gets little Iggy out.

30 11 2010
GoldCoaster

I like U2. Sure, Bono is a bit of a hypocrite, but their bass player seems like a nice guy.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

Tomba, I think he should be made aware that the first bogue related indiscretion will land him with a life time ban on all media outlets.

29 11 2010
Tombarina

A highly effective behavioural incentive! Backed up with a threat of no further access to sunbeds or any fake-tanning products, he’d be completely under our control.

29 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

May I suggest an additional conviction based on the fact he hosted Keynotes back in the day?

29 11 2010
Shirley

You may forgive him TBL, but I don’t.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Harness your anger Shirl! Focus.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

In with anger, out with love! Shirl

29 11 2010
Shirley

I’m not angry. I’m apathetic. Too apathetic to be apologetic.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

In with apathy and out with love Shirl!

29 11 2010
Shirley

I have much love to give, but to love plasticine mediocrity? No I won’t do that.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yeh, broke your arm trying Chilean love huh.

29 11 2010
Shirley

It’s not even my first love related injury, and no doubt won’t be my last.

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’d be apathetic too but I could not be f*cked really.

Give me a break it’s Monday.

29 11 2010
p'bee

i see this as a case of keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

TBL, as a token of your new found affection / respect / forgiveness for Richard Wilkins/Wilde/Blade, perhaps you could rename the site for the day to “Things Richard Wilkins/Wilde/Blade Likes”
I’m sure he’d be honoured and flattered.

29 11 2010
Bill

TBL, I noticed how you misspelt the title. It should say, “A public apology to the only man on earth apart from Alec Baldwin to secrete his own hair gel.”

29 11 2010
p'bee

i was just wondering – we’re getting very close to bogan like number 200. this entry isn’t numbered, so wednesday will be 198, next monday will be 199, and next wednesday will be number 200. is there an event of particular boganic importance next wednesday that needs to be marked, hence this non-numbered entry? or am i overthinking?

Ha, nothing suss about it. Today’s entry isn’t technically a thing bogans like, so it offsets us doing the Toolies one last Friday. Entry 200 hasn’t yet been written – currently tossing up between two different ideas! TBL

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

World Aids Day?
The official beginning of the Xmas season?

29 11 2010
p'bee

world aids day is this wednesday, though. i don’t know of any significant event on the 8th.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

It is too, i looked at the wrong week on my calendar….

29 11 2010
p'bee

it’s the 30th anniversary of john lennon being shot, and national student day in bulgaria. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/December_8

29 11 2010
p'bee

ah ok, tbl. i think i was just overthinking it in trying to avoid writing a presentation and paper i’m meant to be doing right now, and grand conspiracies about tbl entry 200 were a nice distraction.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

p’bee , Bogans love a conspiracy theory….

29 11 2010
p'bee

damn! you’ve uncovered my secret. i’m going to have to kill you now…

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

p’bee, I always suspected a cover up… Oh, shit does that make me a paranoid conspiracy theorist??? Am I paranoid if you really do plan to kill me? Oh my god, that sounds like a t-shirt gag. Somebody stop me…… *self glasses*

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Viv, if you carry on like this I will make you sit in a corner and listen to Bon Iver!

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

In sad breaking news Leslie Neilsen is dead.

Surely your not serious?

29 11 2010
p'bee

i heard that. didn’t realise he was 84.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

Explains why the jokes were so old.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

they were good though…

29 11 2010
Tombarina

Not for the lactose-intolerant, but:

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

29 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

It is serious, and don’t call me Shirley!

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I’ve never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

29 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Or this

Lt. Frank Drebin: Miss, I’m Lt. Frank Drebin, and this is Captain Ed Hocken, Police Squad.

Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?

Lt. Frank Drebin: Well… it’s very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.

29 11 2010
v'visexxxion

29 11 2010
Blueballs

Sorry TBL, but Richard Wilkens is, always has been and shall remain to be a twat, no amount of persuasion will convince me otherwise

29 11 2010
p'bee

i don’t think anything in this post really disputes that fact.

29 11 2010
SD

I think I have lived here too long, I am getting annoyed with friends elsewhere crowing on Facebook about the cricket (they have a anyone but Australia viewpoint).

If this continues, soon I might forgive Richard.

29 11 2010
Pandabater

Richard Wilkins rocks
We all love & respect him
Nodding & winking

29 11 2010
p'bee

wilkins and haikus together at last!

30 11 2010
p'bee

pink’s bogan credentials skyrocketing again – she wants to name her kid after a whiskey brand: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/people/pinks-nobrainer-name-for-son-20101130-18ecd.html

30 11 2010
SD

It seems like an opportunity for another Becwitt SMS scan -bogans can text potential Pinklet names between now and the birth of the sprog.

30 11 2010
Shirley

God I hate her.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

They should just call it f*cknuckle and be done with it.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

Thats amazing! I was going to call my next imaginary child Tanqueray#10 Hendriks Bombay Mothersuin.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

or Beefeater if she is a girl.

30 11 2010
SD

I will name mine Bombay Sapphire.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

I like that. Her brother can be Gordon and her sister Tonique.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

one of my favourite Gins is called Pink 47 – its a sign. It comes in the campest bottle ever – tastes fine too

http://www.osawhisky.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=91&Itemid=155

30 11 2010
SD

There’s also p.i.n.k vodka.

A veritable cornucopia of names for TBLers.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

That vodka looks feral – Guarana and Caffeine infused mmmmm. From the website direct to the bogue who has to confirm that they are over 21 years old….(its that exclusive)

“Just like our customers, p.i.n.k. is versatile, fashionable and extravagant. From investment bankers, to designers, to hip-hop artists, p.i.n.k. appeals to the individual with an appetite for quality and who enjoys living to the fullest.”

Or the fool who thinks adding caffeine to nail polish remover sounds clarsy.

30 11 2010
SD

enjoys “living to the fullest” presumably includes glassing, flashing your tuts and pavement surfing.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

so true! I’m still snickering….

30 11 2010
SD

Gordon & Tonique, welcome to the family!

While at it I might rename myself
P!nk G!n.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

To hell with it, i might change my name to P!nks St!nk.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Fruity Lexia is a good name.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

She would grow up to wear polyester maxiskirts, have braided, unwashed, waist length hair and make home made elderberry wine with a name like Fruity Lexia

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

and its not as pretty as F#cknuckle if you ask me.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yeah, lets run with F*cknuckle. It is highly suitable.

30 11 2010
p'bee

if i have twins they’ll be stolichnaya and lemon russki.

30 11 2010
SD

If they are triplets, you can consider blavod.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

whats wrong with Grey Goose?

30 11 2010
p'bee

fourth child.

30 11 2010
GoldCoaster

P!nk has a set of toilets at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre dedicated to her. Whoo, a proud moment in her life!!! Deliciously bogan.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

what’s that old gag about one in the pink, one in the stink???

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms
30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

I’d love to know what ” She got emotional” actually means. And does wriggling her behind at the publicist mean she chucked a brown eye? Would that look like a jaffa, orange with a chocolate centre? Sorry.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

She got pissed and photocopied her arse probably. Good call on the jaffa unless she bleached?

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

Then it would look like the sun. Quick, don’t look at it directly, make a pin-hole camera to look through…

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Didn’t Soundgarden write a song about this called Black Hole Sun. Even sorrrier.

30 11 2010
Chairman Miaow

I blame the bride of edelstein; all over melbourne last year’s models have seen the attention she’s getting and are racing to the cosmetologist to get their tuts done with a quick stop at the tandoori palace on the way home.

Meanwhile the rest of us get tired and emotional just thinking about the waste of all that perfectly good plastic.

30 11 2010
Pandabater

“To be occasionally quoted is the only fame I care for”
Alexander Smith 1830-1867

“Get your own quote you fucking tool”
Pandabater 2010-

30 11 2010
Pandabater

Should be;
Pandabater 2009-

30 11 2010
p'bee

this has nothing to do with richard wilkins – or bogans for that matter – but is just too funny not to post: http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/8172917/brazilian-drug-lord-has-bieber-fever

30 11 2010
GoldCoaster

This is unrelated, but too good not to share: I saw a young male boguelet of about 5 with a half-footlong rattail mullet running along, and its mother was calling after it, “Chevy! Chevy!”

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

You saw a Chevy chase?

30 11 2010
p'bee

little rat-tailed bogue
runs away, mum is yelling
its a chevy chase

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

nice!

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

madam, please take chevy
for a f#cking haircut, now
it is child abuse

30 11 2010
Tombarina

*slap*

Tres droll, Vivi. But get a hold of yourself.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Viv, just pretend you are the lead singer of Faker and enjoy!

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

As long its a recreational slapping, it’s not perverse if i enjoy it.

30 11 2010
Pandabater

My grandfather won silver in recreational slapping in Helsinki “52.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

was he known as Master Bater thereafter?

30 11 2010
Pandabater

I’ll have you know sir he was strictly an amatuer.

*Puffs cigar & wiggles eyebrows*

30 11 2010
30 11 2010
Pandabater

Watch out for those teeth!

1 12 2010
GoldCoaster

LOL I so never thought of Chevy Chase! But yes, it was!!

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You were right Tomba.

*slap*

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

I get slapped and meanwhile you post picture titled “slutty panda”. Well I’ve never…..At least not with a panda.

30 11 2010
30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

It certainly looks like Mrs Slocombe’s pussy needs a rest and stretch in front of the heater. I don’t think i’ve ever seen such an uptight pussy, not since……. I will not go any further down that path…

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Who said pussys don’t have teeth. I think it was upset at getting sopping wet again.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

That’s why you should never leave your pussy out! They’ll cop a drenching.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Someone should tell Britney Spears this. Her Pussy is constantly being taken out and then misused. Protect your pussy is my motto.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

9 out of 10 good christians will agree that the youth today don’t consider their pussies like they used to.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Don’t those mormons value their pussys though

2 12 2010
Edward

That is really quite awful. I would suspect that the animal has been badly abused.

30 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I figured to each their own. You a playful slap, for Panda a playful Panda.

30 11 2010
v'visexxxion

All in the name of recreation.

30 11 2010
chubbybloodfart

dammit
this is not good enough!
Making excuses for wilkins?
*slap*
snap out of it TBL!
Faced with potentially our greatest bogan menace since Russell Crowe moved to L.A. And you want to jump in bed with the enemy? this is not the time for detente my friends. we need action, we need some sort of Anti Pink.
we need Peaches.

30 11 2010
chubbybloodfart

1 12 2010
chris

Present-day Kim Deal is the Antipink.

1 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Kim Deal has always been Anti P!nk. She gives cool to the universe.

30 11 2010
chubbybloodfart

this shiny dollar for the first person to spot a boguelet named Pink.

Some Pomes in a Japanesque Style:

impending p!nk spawn
magazine fodder extracts
congratulatory cash

celebrity spawns,
bogan fawns, common sense yawns.
world turns. new day dawns

p!nkish crotch droppings
will stain the bogan future
wilkins powerless

i found this nice beer today called Three Kings.

1 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

I don’t want to see the new season of Bed of Roses, I’m not hanging out for East West 101, I’ve never seen Packed to the Rafters or CSI or All Saints, Grey’s Anatomy, E.R., Boston Legal, NCIS, Home and Away, Neighbours, Always Greener, Skins, Inspector Morse, Poirot, Inspector Rex, Criminal Minds, Cops LAC,, Underbelly, or whatever the fuck else is on (not even mentioning sitcoms or reality) but I really dig these clip shows like Top 20, Most Extreme, Destroyed in Seconds…
is that bogan?

1 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Sorry Chubs, top 20 shows as hosted by Bert or a diminuitive weather dude is a bit bogan.

1 12 2010
chris

mmmmm……. the best part is when the buildings fall down.

1 12 2010
v'visexxxion

no Chris, its when they play it backwards and it stands up again, before they play it forwards and it falls down again. rinse and repeat aaaahhhhh,oooooooooh,,aaaaaaaahhhhh…..

1 12 2010
chris

.. especially if you can work in a bit of Wacky Sax in the background.

1 12 2010
SD

http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/i-for-one-welcome-our-new-bogan-overlords/#comments

Is Punch like totally bogan and hence they always seem to get their knickers in a twist over TBL? To use a boganism, its a joke mate no need to get so touchy.

I am surprised it ends with “the suits are buying it”. I expected an ending with lefty, pinko, champagne socialists, pot smoking, latte sippers, wine wanks, hippies – you know the usual suspects – buying it.

1 12 2010
chris

SD, you’re going to have more luck getting all the pee out of the toddlers pool than removing all the bogans from news.com.
But it’s not just mainstream media; try looking at some of the Twitter comments on Q&A if you don’t believe me.
Funny, but I thought the third para summed it up well.

1 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Why would they even bother publishing that article. Nigel has an enormous stick up his arse I think. I see our old friend Tubesteak was there fighting the good fight. Anyone who thinks Kath and Kim is cutting edge satire should be taken out the back and cut into small pieces.

1 12 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Oh and we are f*cking superior. Baby Jesus help us if we are not.

1 12 2010
p'bee

nigel writes for gq. need anthing further be said?

1 12 2010
Shirley

I thought it was a good article. Better than the usual Ed Hardy/Krispy Kreme skewed pap that’s been kicking about.

1 12 2010
SD

True it was not regurgitated TBL. But it seemed to have something to say and then managed to mix in the usual bitterness.

I found the book a bit of a let down. Think it should have not been in the blog post format and had proper longer chapters.

2 12 2010
Edward

I like how the writer used the word “irradiated”. Dynamic. Sometimes you should just leave your thesaurus on the shelf.

1 12 2010
chris

Apologies for off-topic rant. Today I give what was my favourite coffee haunt one last chance before I condemn it to bogan hell. The place has been utterly overrun by bogan tosswads of the worst possible kind. To the twunt who was at the counter when I arrived the other day (Singha t-shirt; too cool for Bintang, crumpler bag, Livestrong band, a gallon of elephant snot in his hair); here’s a little suggestion: have enough courtesy to the staff to put down your iPhone while you’re ordering your double-soy whathefuck. Piss off back to McCafe the lot of you.

1 12 2010
SD

My sympathies. But do send the rant to mX, bogans are always writing to each other there and hopefully this twunt will read it.

1 12 2010
Alex

Anyone thought of picketing pinks next concert?
There’s so much room for clever banners
“P!nk Stinks”
you could do chants about taking bogan blood money.
I dunno.

1 12 2010
p'bee

but then you’d have to go near pink’s concert, which would be to tortuous to bear.

2 12 2010
Fingers

……….. There are some bogans in New Zealand too like the characters in the tv sitcom outragoeus fortune are a great example they happen to be the personification of the word “bogan”. I’m sure Richard Wilkins was just as much of a bogan before he moved to Australia. What a silly excuse that he got sucked into the bogan culture of Australia well alright it’s true partially.

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