#194 – Bandwagons

17 11 2010

No, not the band Wagons. Commercial radio is unlikely to take much interest in them until they sound approximately 500% more like U2. Similarly, REO Speedwagon are probably unlikely to get much bogan airtime these days, particularly since they’ve so wholeheartedly embraced the adult contemporary idiom. Despite its considerable merits, or perhaps because of them, Teenage Fanclub’s crucial 1991 opus Bandwagonesque is also unlikely to pass bogan muster. Indeed, a venn diagram correlating bands bogans like, bands with ‘wagon’ in their name, and bands with a habit of performing on wagons or other wheeled conveyances, is unlikely to contain many bands in the critical zone of triple overlap. To be fair, it’s best to put these matters out of your mind, because these are not the type of bandwagons to which we refer.

Instead, for the purposes of this post, we refer to a bandwagon thusly: something popular enough to present potential adopters with a relatively low risk of winding up in the unenviable position of having adopted something unpopular. The risk-averse bogan will rarely jump into something which hasn’t already achieved critical mass. Obscurity is not something the bogan desires; indeed, a bogan who stumbles across obscurity runs the risk of other bogans branding it weird, poofy, intellectual or somehow foreign.

Much like the North American buffalo or the Wildebeest, the bogan is a herd animal which finds safety in numbers. This herd mentality explains why the bogan will choose to graze at a particularly depleted cultural pasture, leaving adjacent areas verdant with foliage and entirely free of bogans. To avoid straying too far from the pack, the bogan will continue to chomp intently at the all-but bald hillside, awaiting the en-masse migration to another place. In this way, the tracks of the bogan herd crisscross the nation’s cultural landscape in a piecemeal fashion, thankfully sparing many fertile gullies and gulches for more intrepid creatures.

The bogan hivemind is profoundly suggestible, and those perennial manufacturers of bandwagons, marketing and advertising people, know this innately. In their inestimable cruelty, they inflict bogankind with all manner of worthless fodder – from Ed Hardy t-shirts to Power Balance Bands – comfortable in the knowledge that the bogan will attempt to derive nourishment from this crapulence, just so long as many others are also doing so.  However, as with the recent collapse of Ed Hardy’s reign of sartorial terror, this spell is easily broken. This is when, much like yapping cattledogs or teenagers on four-wheelers, marketing and advertising people must quickly divert the bogan herd towards the next big thing.


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285 responses

17 11 2010
martin

“Lol”. First! First on the bandwagon!

17 11 2010
chris

LOL! Second on the bandwagon and third or fourth on the lolwagon.

17 11 2010
Tone

Could this be TBL’s first self-referential article? If TBL’s Facebook Embassy is considered to be any sort of barometer, there does appear to be an awful lot more boganity on display there since the release of The Book.

18 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

OOH! OOH! What are you doing guys? this looks cool! Can I jump on now!?!!

18 11 2010
bigger person

@tone,well picked,i was hoping someone might notice

18 11 2010
bigger person

ps.that white thick,full of crust, with coke bottles, was not a very nice thing to say..ouch! some treat me like a nail,much to my giggles!

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I know a bandwagon bogans love.

Fire twirlers!

They are like bogan whisperers. These ferals emerge from their combi in a cloud of ganga and pot pourri to twirl a lighted stick above their head and bogans will flock to the spectacle and gasp in amazement and the limited talent and value on display. They even like it at their Bali themed wedding.

17 11 2010
chris

Yep, the bogan is attracted to colour and movement.

17 11 2010
Tombarina

True, dat. They’re like magpies – hence their love of anything shiny or brassy. Like Brynne Edelsten, for eg.

17 11 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

A set of bongos will attract both the bogan and the hipster. Both groups, who thrive on bandwagonism and oneupmanship will proclaim that this bongo guy doesnt know what he is doing. If only I had some bongos right now I would show him!

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That’s true, the fire dude’s wife often plays bongos and wears lots of purple. And hipsters do friggin love bongos. Why?

Are you confusing hipsters with hippies? I would have thought the hipster these days would be more fond of the Roland Dr Rhythm, or perhaps an ‘ironic’ zither or largerfone. Just a thought. – Hunter

17 11 2010
Brimstone

they were instruments of the beatnicks, pale imitators of the real Beats…and some of the first hipsters

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

But didn’t these guys appropriate them from tribal culture just to seem cool. Bit like tribal tatts?

17 11 2010
Sten

Indeed yes, Brimstone… as much a part of the stereotypical Beatnik as stripey tops (think Russian naval infantry or Specnaz) and clove cigarettes.

And I quote (accompanied by off-beat bongo-bashing and finger clicking) “Radiant cool, crazy nightmares, Zen New Jersey nowhere. How now, brown bureaucrat?”

Friggin’ hipsters.

17 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

*click**click**click**click**click*

18 11 2010
Werdna

*bong**bong**bong**bong**bong*

18 11 2010
Brimstone

that pretty much is my routine. show up to any open mic night in Sydney and you can hear my Beat stylings…

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No you will see skinny pant and scarf wearers congregate around bongos for some reason. They play them more frenetically though. and try to look cooly detached.

17 11 2010
SD

I always thought hipsters were into djembe, then again maybe it was the lot I knew.

17 11 2010
18 11 2010
XXX

Best song ever about hipsters:

17 11 2010
Sten

Djembe? Pfft… so late ’90s!

17 11 2010
SD

No, no, no there was this wanker movie called The Visitor post which everyone wanted to release their inner repressed self by playing the djembe with randoms in a park.

17 11 2010
Sten

Oh, OK. It’s just that I remember the days when I saw bands prety much every weekend back in the late 90s, and every second one had a Djembe.

Having said all that though, the Djembe did have it’s place. Especially on Sepultura’s “Roots” album.

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

I thought only chicks played the Djembe.
the seating position,
and the vibrations…
y’know…

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Oh, both AC/DC and U2 have performed on wagons.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms
17 11 2010
p'bee

such a perfect summary of bogue psychology that there’s really nothing left to say. bravo, tbl.

17 11 2010
chris

Indeeed. The most comprehensive statement on the topic since Chaucer wrote at the start of his “Liste Repleat”: “That boagin he doth lyke all things. Heare be them.”

17 11 2010
Jeez Louise

Gold.

17 11 2010
hel

Platinum

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

uranium

17 11 2010
AlyssaKT

boom!

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Chris, did you just jump on P’bees bandwagon?

17 11 2010
chris

Oh, crap. If I did, it was unintentional; one eye on TBL and the other on work. Not the best mix.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That’s ok P’bee is hot as so it’s a good bandwagon.

17 11 2010
p'bee

thanks simon! my bandwagon is guaranteed to be the best ever, i promise.

17 11 2010
chris

… and not saying that it isn’t a lovely wagon ‘n all.

17 11 2010
GoldCoaster

TBL represents the Bogan as a vapid, pretentious, unoriginal, instinct-motivated, sex-crazed creature- and boy, are they right! This site is a codification of things I’ve been thinking for years.

17 11 2010
Sten

Then, if, as your handle suggests, you’re from the Gold Coast, let me be the first to say “welcome aboard”, and offer my sincere condolences.

18 11 2010
GoldCoaster

I do indeed live on the Gold Coast. If you never go near Surfers Paradise or the theme parks, you can bet your bottom dollar this is a great, relatively Bogan-free place to live! You have every sort here, from billionaires to bums (not that many of the latter).

Many people are prejudiced against this place because of Surfers and connotations stirred up by it such as Indy and schoolies, but it’s just one suburb out of many and most of the 500 000 Gold Coasters would not be caught dead in Surfers Paradise.

18 11 2010
AlyssaKT

Relatively bogan-free? I gather you don’t live in Palm Beach, Coolangatta, Labrador, Nerang, Pacific Pines, or Southport then? Bogan meccas they are!

18 11 2010
GoldCoaster

I live in Southport- a good part lol. Southport’s a mixed bag as far as demographic and social groups go, and I find a lot of bogans come down from [Lock-your-door] Labrador to go to Aust fair. Southport is slowly turning from a Bogue-infested swamp to being slightly gentrified as its proximity to the CBD drives rental prices up.

I grew up in Tallai- I don’t even think the Cashed-up-Bogans have discovered it, preferring the ‘new’ Varsity lakes area.

18 11 2010
AlyssaKT

Very true – and the old school bogans still live in the older part of Varsity, formerly known as Stephens.

Southport will always be a bogan hot spot due to the Centrelink though, unfortunately…

The worst part about the Gold Coast is all of the losers it attracts (usually from bogan suburbs down south), who come here to reinvent themselves (after a good stint on the dole [until it’s cut off]), but who achieve nothing more than living up to the superficial materialistic reputation they and their ilk perpetuate…sigh

19 11 2010
GoldCoaster

Agreed. It’s like a beacon for CUBs.

17 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

Oi carnt, being all those things isn’t reserved for bogans (especially sex-crazed). The gift of the bogan is the ability to be all of them with roids (male), fake tits (female) and spray tanning (both).

18 11 2010
GoldCoaster

At the risk of contradicting my earlier statements about the Gold Coast being relatively (and I use it in comparison to Cairns, a place I did penance for 2 years, and Darwin, where my brother lives) bogan-free, I must say that the fake is on the rise here. 16 year old girls start saving their money, so by the time they are 19 they can afford the fake titties.

18 11 2010
AlyssaKT

Save up? You’ve got to be kidding! Saving up for what you want is very un-bogan
They;
*get mummy and/or daddy to pay, often as a graduation present
*apply for a personal loan
*trick some sucker into paying, then leave him

😉

18 11 2010
hel

It is utterly disgusting that certain parts of society (OK bogans) can normalise this. I know three girls who got “tit loans”. I just do not understand how guys can like them either. Fake is fake no matter what! A fake Dior bag is ugly, fake Gucci sunnies are ugly, fake tits are ugly. It is exactly the same as if my boyfriend had a tiny penis and always used a dildo during sex but me telling all my friends how fantastic it is and how “amazing” his manhood is. Idiots. (this is a fictional story btw, I feel the need to add that, it was just an analogy!)

18 11 2010
AlyssaKT

Unfortunately, men can be simple creatures, and our current sex saturated society has encouraged an interest in the “big and shiny fake boobies”.
Often it’s an issue that is self-perpetuating as the girls who pose in their trashmedia often don’t feel confident doing so until they get the “upgrade” and it results in the majority of breasts boys see in magazines growing up as fakes.
The truth is that most (real) men enjoy breasts of every size and shape, and are just grateful to be seeing any in the flesh!

18 11 2010
hel

I understand all of that, but I would rather be cast in a Chilean Porn film with Simon than get fake boobs. It does annoy me though when people say “She has great boobs, she looks great for her age, she has an amazing body” etc, when every element of it is fake. I go back to my penis/dildo analogy and leave it there 😛

18 11 2010
AlyssaKT

True – why should more appreciation be received by those who paid for it?

18 11 2010
hel

although that value system does form the structure of the Bogues materialistic self esteem! OK, getting off this thread bandwagon!

19 11 2010
GoldCoaster

LOL I worked for this really hopeless manager who did pole dancing out of hours and she has the fake tan, fake tits, fake blonde etc, and whenever she’d give me some stupid or contradictory instruction (I’d still go off and do it my way and it’d be better) I’d get a pale-coloured satisfaction from thinking, “Ha ha, you paid for yours, at least mine are real!!”

For the record: her boyfriend/parents bought them for her as her 21st birthday present. VERY bogan.

19 11 2010
Tombarina

Am I alone in thinking there’s something deeply creepy about one’s parents – particularly, one’s father – chipping in for a shiny new rack?

My parents gave me some (much-wanted) kitchenware for my 21st. I showed my appreciation by using them to cook them a ‘thank you’ dinner.

But how does one say “Hey, thanks, Dad!” for faux norks? With a grand reveal? A lap dance? A Ralph-style calendar for his office?

19 11 2010
AlyssaKT

I just shuddered involuntarily

19 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Only naturally enhanced people in Chilean porn Hel.

I hate fake boobs.

19 11 2010
hel

Now is Chilean porn full bush, trimmed or desolate?

19 11 2010
AlyssaKT

we know it’s deep and earth-shaking!

19 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I think Chilean’s would tend to their bush. They are close to Brazil after all.

19 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

This.

I just like tits, I don’t really care whether they’re fake or real. Really nice real tits are rarer than diamond turds anyway.

If that makes me a bogan, well, I’m a bogan – although I’m not sure what you call a part Indian, part Islander and part Portuguese bogan.

19 11 2010
GoldCoaster

Well, the one I know who did that was not really a bogan, but I was still flabbergasted that a 16 year old should set that as a goal.

17 11 2010
David La

This is the best summing up of the bogan “culture” that you have written.

17 11 2010
SD

Talking of bandwagons, expect the “royal wedding” to be one.

Though it’s more like a juggernaut.

Magazines cooing over “fairytale” weddings to privileged twits depress me. I exercise the power of not clicking on them.

17 11 2010
Sten

Jesus… that’ll set the Republican movement back, let me think… a whole three weeks, until the next media sensation hits.

18 11 2010
GoldCoaster

Yeah those stupid fairytale weddings (look a year or 6 months later; they become “divorce anguish”) tell the bogan to expect the fairytale marriage…my fiance’s ex was one of those, and of course, after 6 months of being married and it wasn’t all champaigne dreams and bliss, ie, it was more like day to day life like paying bills and picking up after yourself, she sort of gave up and drifted off…then took his house.

17 11 2010
Brimstone

cue thousands of posts of people hating on everything from iPhones to The Simpsons because they’re too popular

Henry Wagons is good, but i like him better on record… live he tries too much to be a comedian

17 11 2010
AlyssaKT

The iPhone is definitely bandwagon-worthy!

The Simpsons appeals to bogans because it caters to a wide spectrum of intellect; with bogans appreciating Bart’s “eat my shorts!” catchphrase, whilst more discerning viewers may enjoy the satire (that idiots don’t realise is actually ridicule of themselves…)

17 11 2010
Nil desperandum

Apple products full stop. For years the bogan has been refusing to buy into the whole ‘Apple can’t be better than Nokia’ debate and now a complete role reversal, the iPhone is the greatest bogan accessory of all time. Pure marketing genius. Now they have an iPad, Macbook, iPod for the sound system in their car, the list goes on.

And one cannot say a bad word about the iPhone for the bogan will defend it to the death, as it, the bogue, only buys the best shit.

17 11 2010
Sten

I think I’ll stick to my Nokia, thanks, and continue to eschew anything bearing that horrible half-eaten logo.

17 11 2010
chris

If you think their products are shyte now, you aint seen nothin. Wait till OS 10.7 and beyond… I’ve been a faithful iTard for 20 odd years; mac at work, mac at home and a busted up old gen 2 ipod, but I swear I will never give that turtle-necked schmuck in Cupertino another cent of my hard-earned.

17 11 2010
Son of Duane

It’s times like these where I appreciate my Android phone.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I will keep my bat phone thanks Robin.

17 11 2010
Tone

I only gave up my trusty Nokia 5110 (c. 1999) about 3 months ago when my pre-paid provider shut up shop. That said, HTC phones are officially THE shit, especially with yummy Android goodness.

I’m hoping that bogans wait until at least 2013 or so before they ruin Android phones for the rest of us.

17 11 2010
Sten

Wow, I knew the 5110 was a good, solid, reliable phone, but mine only lasted four years before it died! How’d you do it?

17 11 2010
Tone

A replacement battery in 2007 (was a whopping $3.99 including delivery via eBay) and a small amount of gaffa tape. The thing still fires up, too. Would respond well to a SIM card from a provider that still exists, though.

18 11 2010
Sten

Well done, Tone. Truly, one only needs two tools to deal with most situations. if it moves and it shouldn’t – gaffa. If it doesn’t move and it should – hammer.

18 11 2010
Pandabater

Has gaffa replaced fencing wire?

18 11 2010
chris

Love it: “only” four years; see how many iPhones are in use after four years. The last bad bike prang I had was about 10 years ago; the contents of my backpack including the trusty 5110 went skidding down the road @ 60 kph. Still worked fine after that, unlike its owner.

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

I vote for the I-pad.
computer for dummies.

18 11 2010
nauseated

18 11 2010
Brimstone

i love my iPhone

18 11 2010
AlyssaKT

That was evident from your comment that started this thread

18 11 2010
Brimstone

thanks for proving my fucking point

18 11 2010
chris

Hey Brim, I don’t hate Apple because they’re popular; mostly I hate them because they have become the sort of company that, a decade or so ago, they themselves used to sneer at.

18 11 2010
Sheriff struggle

I’m going to come across all Apple fanboy, but to be honest there is no comparison to the iPhone, iPod and iPad. I know, I know, here it comes – I am blind to the absence of flash, lack of blah, blah or blah or maybe it just works. Microsoft keeps on changing the tabs on office. 98, xp and 7 are just ridiculous. What about some consistency Mr Gates?

19 11 2010
chris

That’s cool, Sherrif; you’re among nice people here, I don’t give a s#it if you’re a fan boy or not. After all I’m typing this on a sweet sweet quad-core mac, Snow Leopard (which I really don’t mind) with two 27″ monitors. Hoooorrrahhh.
What pisses me is the constant 10 and 20 gig updates, bug fixes etc etc. “Verson 10.6.2b – fixes problems with the iPad app that lets people simultaneously bid on eBay, tweet and scratch their arse at the same time”, that sort of crap. Consistency, Mr Gates? Pfft. Steve Jobs is just Gates in a turtleneck.
Trust me, that schmuck wont be happy until all his products run a unified OS, running only apple apps that you buy at an apple store using an apple credit card. This from the people who brought you the “1984” advert.

19 11 2010
chris

…and as an afterthought… the Apple bluetooth mouse is a pile of rubbish. Fine for browsing the web or using the bundled iCrap apps, but if you need to be doing anything more technical than that then you best stick to the trusty Microsoft mouse.

18 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

If Simon doesn’t mind, I’ll glass any carnt who dares to knock the Simpsons. That’s the only intelligent show left on free to air TV that isn’t on some commie-pinko-lesbo-vego-public channel.

19 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Glass away dude. I will be the first victim though. I don’t like the Simpsons, give me South Park any day.

19 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

I love South Park as well, only it only screens on said commie-pinko-lesbo-vego-public TV. Cartman would be outraged were he real (bogan reality/TV confusion moment).

19 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I friggin hate Hippies.

19 11 2010
Tombarina

Ash, may I commend to you “Blame Canada” – a very readable anthropological dissection of South Park in relation to contemporary culture, written by Australian academic Toni Johnson-Woods (from memory).

It’s funny and insightful and vicious and wrong. Very, very wrong. Just like SP.

19 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

17 11 2010
Frantelle

Radium cool, crazy nightmares. And New Jersey nowheres. How now, brown bureaucrat.

17 11 2010
Snag

Isn’t almost every post on this blog a bandwagon that the bogan has jumped on (or commandeered from others)? And I like to think of them more like lemmings; aimlessly following each other off of a cliff.

17 11 2010
Loftie

Hence this post Snag….

17 11 2010
Snag

Yeah, I kind of just stated the incredibly obvious. Not my finest moment.

17 11 2010
Loftie

Woo Hoo!!!

I called this one back in Post #182 (Lance Armstrong)

QUOTE: Loftie (09:57:11)
Surely another post for TBL…

Bandwagons…

Bogans LOVE bandwagons…

YAY!! I actually got one!!! 🙂

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Kudos Loftie!!

17 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

I’ll jump on that bandwagon Loftie, I supported you all the way! Just like Kings Of Leon before they were famous and the Sydney Swans before they won in 2005…

(Btw, I almost posted bangwagon instead of bandwagon; another thing bogans possibly might like?)

17 11 2010
Tone

Bangwagon, Bangbus … what’s the difference?

17 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

19th century porn vs 21st century porn scenarios?

17 11 2010
p'bee

is this going to go down the chilean miners path again?

17 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Only if you want it to p’bee…

Something maybe along the lines of this:

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/joseph-ducreux-archaic-rap

To quote a Lady Gaga song:
“Let us enjoy ourselves, this rhythm is ill, I want to sit on your penis”

17 11 2010
hel

that’s a bit of a bogan reaction. 😛

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Hel, where is your photo essay for us. I am wetting myself with anticipation!

17 11 2010
hel

I did take a photo of the closed Ed Hardy Shop in CHapel St, it was a golden moment. I actually got stuck into the good red wine and cigars at my brothers place and never got to Crown, alas. I did, however, rekindle my own boganity by buying four dozen Krispy Kreme Donuts at the airport before the flight home!

17 11 2010
Sten

Four dozen!? There’d be enough energy in those to nuke south-western Sydney (please do… I’m sick to death of hearing about that dump every night on the news).

17 11 2010
SD

Pauline here is moving to the whitest enclave on earth, the Hunter Valley.

http://www.smh.com.au/national/the-diary/what-chance-a-clash-of-the-titians-20101116-17vzq.html

Does James H also live there? 🙂

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

Wagon Christ.
I sincerely hope bogans do not like Qi.
I sincerely doubt they do.
anyway, last night on Qi the erudite Mr Fry informed us that the North American Buffalo is, in fact, an “Bison”
One of my favourite hate objects just now are the “Our Family” stickers. apparently you can choose from a wide range of stick figure characters to paste on your voiture to represent each member of your odious clan. including the pets. sadly, I lack the wit or talent to articulate fully the appropriateness of utilising stick figures to represent the insipid tools who are happy to fork out five bucks per item for “The Latest Craze in Car Stickers!” (sic)

17 11 2010
Tone

You’re right, cbf. ‘My Family’ stickers are the new Frangipani.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’ve not noticed this, are we behind in Adelaide? Or perhaps ahead by not adopting!

17 11 2010
chris

Nah, I’ve seen a few, Simon. Usually on the back of some shitty Kia SUV out in the ‘burbs.

17 11 2010
Tone

No, they are out there. The most seriously afflicted boguemobiles in Adelaide tend to the be CUB Urban Assualt Vehicles, such as Prados and older model BMW X5s. That said, they’ll surely filter down to Chevodores and Craptivas faster than you can say ‘bad bitch’.

17 11 2010
Tone

*assault

17 11 2010
hel

Saw my first “My Family ” sticker yesterday, I thought some wanker had had a sticker made from their kids crap drawing. Not really bogan though, how can they fully represent all of the Dads in the family without crowding out the rear window of the car? Just saying is all.

17 11 2010
chris

That’s a cracker of a comment, hel.

17 11 2010
Sten

Indeed. Well-played, hel! It’d have to be my favourite comment of the past week, along with Blueballs’ “naked Ken doll comment” in connexion with that Punji Hunting troll-doll.

17 11 2010
hel

It’s all the sugar from the Krispy Kreme

17 11 2010
Sten

Really, hel, you’re too modest.

17 11 2010
AlyssaKT

These are all the rage on the Gold Coast (of course), with 99% of urban four wheel drives (killing a family near you) sporting them. Although there’s a wide range of characters to choose from, the woman is always looking the typical dimwit shopper (as it’s all she likes to do, I guess)!

I have toyed with the idea of putting a single woman figure in the centre of my back windscreen and surrounding it with a hundred cats.

17 11 2010
hel

“LIKE”

17 11 2010
Tombarina

We’ve discussed this before, AKT – I’m with you 100pc.

I’ll get one when they produce something which is actually representative of my family – ie, a pi$$ed-off looking man finger-gunning other vehicles sporting My Family stickers, a yelling woman clutching a bottle of plonk and a giant holographic teenager who is either sleeping or eating, depending on your line of sight.

17 11 2010
AlyssaKT

haha – my character would have a speech bubble saying “learn how to fucking merge, dickheads!”

17 11 2010
AlyssaKT

wasn’t sure if TBL were no longer allowing offensive language!

17 11 2010
AlyssaKT

haha – my character would have a speech bubble saying “learn how to f**king merge, d**kheads!”

17 11 2010
hel

You’re family sounds awesome, and disturbingly similar to mine, however I would need the word bubble also, filled with profanity along the lines of ” F*ck off we’re full” oh wait, that’s not right.

17 11 2010
hel

You’re? What the hell am I on? I seem to be overcompensating for the dearth of punctuation used by boganity by adding it unnecessarily. Shame

17 11 2010
StKildaGirl

Stickers is one thing, but what about the cars with 100 stuffed toys in them? Can anybody explain? Is it because they do not have air bags?

17 11 2010
Sten

That’s the best explaination I’ve heard so far, StKildaGirl.

17 11 2010
Son of Duane

I used to see a 4WD near a primary school where the bonnet was filled with McHappy Meal-quality animal toys, stuck onto the car with possibly some Blu-Tack (their factory is not far from where I live). I… have no explaination for that one.

17 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

I think that’s more an Asian than a bogan thing.

My sister’s boyfriend is Japanese – his car is loaded with the things, same as all his friends.

17 11 2010
AlyssaKT

Bogasian*

18 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

Not necessarily – I wouldn’t classify him as a Boguesian. He’s pretty stereotypical actually, including being a terrible driver.

18 11 2010
StKildaGirl

Where does this Asian stuffed toy collection in the car originate from then? Is this why they can’t drive properly? Must do some research.

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

ROFL
(well, this morning I was anyway)

17 11 2010
martin

This is why we need the right to bear arms so when we see one we can use our rocket launchers on them.

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

you’ll see them Si.
little white collections of stick figures.

I mentioned festivals last night – the band bandwagon. how many festivals are on this summer?

that being said I’m pretty excited to be walking around on the same corner of the earth as Iggy, Maynard and James Murphy next year. that alone has almost got me going for my wallet…

and sure, I’m an old fart and have no idea what’s really hip and happening up the “fertile gullies and gulches”, so how about tossing the old bugger a bone eh? bunch of fucking upstarts! “oooh the Hell City Glamours.” well ok. so they’re great, and thanks for that. but jesus how the fuck am I supposed to find out about shit like that at age 40 odd living in fucking ADELAIDE? huh?! man I was there at PiL when youse were shitting yellow. I was listening to husker du actually IN THE 80’s when everyone else was fizzing up like a slug with salt on it for DURAN fucking DURAN. I found psy in Goa in ’91. I bought “deep six” on vinyl import for fuck’s sake! Nirvana and Pearl Jam hadn’t even been formed (unless you want to count Green River as a proto pearl jam) if it wasn’t for people like me there never would have been a hipster bandwagon for you cats to jump on in the fucking first place!
so pretty please.
where can I find some decent music.

17 11 2010
chris

whoahhhh……
dunno, but this sprang to mind:
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/hipster-kitty

17 11 2010
StKildaGirl

How about this one Chubby?

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

you’re being sarcastic right?

18 11 2010
StKildaGirl

hee hee…

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Chubs,

The thing is all the festivals have old dudes headlining. Does this say to the kids “your music sucks balls” or can they only make money by attracting the nostalgia crowd (which I am probably now a part of, my last 3 shows being Sonic Youth, Pixies and Neil Young) FFS I’m getting old.

I have basically given up on radio for music, Triple J is wet, Commercial well I’d rather glass myself and community radio like 3d is very hit and miss. I have been listenng to ABC and talkback even. F*ck.

17 11 2010
StKildaGirl

Ok, you know you sure are getting old when you start listening to talkback radio. Reminds me of my old neighbour (aged late 70’s) who
had it on all the time.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Christ

*decamps to outer mongolia to review direction of life*

Is it ok if it’s only the sport I listen to, please.

17 11 2010
Sten

Simon, mate, please tell me you don’t listen to Bob Francis! I mean, he is from the City of Murd… um, Churches, is he not?

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No, not that bad yet. I just listen to Cornsy and Roweys sport program which does incorporate some talk back. I love my sport.

17 11 2010
Sten

That’s OK, I love certain sports too. Football for one, but I suspect I’d be mocked and derided if I mentioned what my other sporting passion was.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

C,mon I’ve admitted to cycling, do share.

17 11 2010
Sten

Sigh… Rugby League.

At least my team (Parramatta) isn’t really known for scandalous behaviour and haven’t breached the salary cap.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You were right to keep that quiet Sten.

17 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

It’s not bogan to love league, it’s just bogan to make excuses for league players.

I’ve gone for Cronulla since I was a little kid, and part of me is glad that we suck right now cause all the Shire scum doesn’t want to support a losing team when they can jump on the St George bandwagon.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No it’s not bogan, just wrong.

17 11 2010
chris

Blimey Sten, getting the edgy material out there…. With all due respect to the victims of the tragedy at Kapunda and their families, the whole area has always creeped me out a bit. I reckon if they ever want to do an Oz version of “The League of Gentlemen” the Barossa would be the place to do it.
@Simon; Pixies, Sonic Youth and Neil Young – there’s a line-up. Someone make it happen.

17 11 2010
hel

I would see that line up if Creme Brulee were opening

17 11 2010
chris

BOOOOOOMMMMM……

17 11 2010
Sten

Edgy meterial? Chris, do please enlighten me!

17 11 2010
chris

“City of M…….”. Gave me a laff, but.

17 11 2010
Sten

Oh, OK. I guess it’s just that the most horrific Australian murder/serial killing stories I’ve heard happen to be from Adelaide/the Adelaide area.

I read a story in the SMH some time back about a party of journalists on The Ghan when they started it back up again. As the train passed through Snowtown, the driver told the story, and a journo from Lithuania asked “Why would anybody want to store bodies in barrels inside an old bank vault?”

He then answered his own question with “Must be something to do with liquid assets.”

Oh, how I laughed.

17 11 2010
chris

Some local stringer who has followed a lot of the big court cases here for quite some time has just published a book entitled “City of Evil” or something equally lurid.
Well, it’s been fun, but now I’m off to face the Streets of Fear. If anyone sees a rough looking Liberty wagon with grimy dog paw-prints in the back windows and Doolittle cranking out at 3 db below the pain threshold hurtling down South Road, give me a wave.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Adelaide has produced some fine murderers.

Exhibit A

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bevan_Spencer_von_Einem

17 11 2010
Sten

Yeah, that Von Eimen is a grade A piece of shit, isn’t he? What a sicko.

17 11 2010
StKildaGirl

Hmmm… No Simon.

17 11 2010
martin

I’d rather sit in deafening, lonely, boring silence than listen to the radio these days. For some reason I can handle it in the car but I suspect that’s because I expect some sort of irritation levels when driving.

17 11 2010
hel

I hear you Simon, I flew across the country to see Faith No More and people I worked with had no idea who they were. I could not name one single artist in the Australian Top Ten right now and I continually find myself espousing the virtues of indi music when indi meant indi, not commercial but in a ripped pair of jeans. I sleep better at night however, knowing I have elitist taste in music and loving that no one has heard of my favorite band (does that make me more or less bogan? The lines are blurring for me now, I need another donut)

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I don’t want it to become popular I just want somewhere that I can listen to decent stuff. This used to be triple J’s role but they are now commercial radio sans ads.

My taste is brilliant so someone should be playing it. And it’s ok to mix it up with a bit of dinosaur rock or the occasional hair metal gem just not top 40 or Phil Collins, Farnsie etc. Is this too much to ask?

17 11 2010
p'bee

bbc6 digital radio has some good programs. check it out, you’ll probably find someone who has taste that aligns with yours. and being digital you can listen to it for a week after initial broadcast so time difference doesn’t matter.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thanks P’bee, can I get that in my car somehow? Thats where I do my listening.

17 11 2010
p'bee

not sure, sorry, my technological knowledge is limited. have a look on their website, they might give some info on that.

17 11 2010
Tone

Try ABC Dig Music. It’s like Triple J for grown ups. Between Dig and SBS Chill, I’ve certainly had my money’s worth out of my DAB+ radio thus far.

17 11 2010
Jeez Louise

You are not an orphan. Gave up on commercial about 20 years ago; by all accounts I haven’t missed much. Went back to classical and jazz courtesy of ABC Classic FM. Talkback is a bridge too far for me, though. Random purchases at my local CD shop have been fairly satisfactory. Can’t really get into the nostalgia – some of it was crap then and it’s still crap now.

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

I’ve enjoyed copping a lot of radio national lately. little choice in the sticks. I still listen to JJJ a bit. Edna is a bit younger than I so it doesn’t all sound quite so derivative to her. I bought a new CD today and through that artist have picked up on some stuff which might be interesting: the celebrations and little dragon par example.
I have a quite brooooad musical taste so maybe a lot of the electro and stuff I dig wouldn’t quite float your boat. I’m not ready to give up completely. I know there’s bulk heaps of goodness out there, I’m just not sure where to find it all the time. Kingsmill has totally screwed the pooch at the radio. there’s no suzanne dowling anymore and no Face magazine. usually I just tool around on AMG and follow links and turn up some cool stuff, but I’m slightly internetically challenged momentarially. it’s a long story.
hey, is that st kilda chick taking the piss out of me or what?
meanwhile, here’s some brutal psychedelic down beat for you.

17 11 2010
v'visexxxion

Same dilemma chubby – and then i found this guy which i liked, a lot. Only new thing i’ve heard in an age that i’ve enjoyed. Film clip is some old movie which you can just ignore

17 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

Dude, surely if you were once so cutting edge…back in the fucking 80’s, and obviously didn’t jump on any bandwagon (because PiL and was formed in a vacuum) you would know where to source the current groovy tunes, get in early, become a boguentrepeneur, and suck those bogan fuckers bank accounts dry!!! You could be a squillionaire and up-to-your-nuts-in-guts, knee deep in pussy!!!

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

well I didn’t mean to imply I was cutting edge…
but maybe it came across that way.

and I did jump on a bandwagon and spent about ten years in the arms of morpheus
as the classics have it
so I may have lost my way.
thanks for the pointers.
I am extremely happily married and have no interest in being up to my nuts etc anymore but
you have to learn from your mistakes, and I’m really struggling to find a witty euphemism for selling drugs…
but I am a fucking squillionaire.

18 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

Sorry Chub stain!! I was being a nasty bitch. Man, I feel like a dirty bogan now 😦

19 11 2010
Phil

Try “The Knife” (album with Silent Shout on it) or “Fever Ray” (album with If I Had A Heart On it). You will not be disapointed.

19 11 2010
Phil

Try “The Knife” (album with “Silent Shout” on it) or “Fever Ray” (album with “If I Had A Heart” on it). You will not be disappointed.

19 11 2010
Phil

Try “The Knife” (album with “Silent Shout” on it) or “Fever Ray” (album with “If I Had A Heart” on it). You will not be disapointed.

17 11 2010
Sybil Ince

Piss weak, TBL 😦

17 11 2010
hel

New Bogan Bandwagon: Royal Bloody Engagements! Have lost count of the inane, purile status updates on FB today about “how happy I am for William and Kate, good luck!” OMFG! Get a bloody life!

17 11 2010
StKildaGirl

Haha! Me too Hel. Stupid inbred royal family.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’m copyrighting the phrase “the new diana” now. I’m going to be maxtreme rich.

17 11 2010
hel

Exactly! If my family insisted that we only marry people who were second cousins, or at least your mothers were second cousins or something along those lines, there would be an outcry, but for some reason if you are a big toothed, jug eared, balding patriarch, it’s totally ok. No wonder they pop out so many gingers.

17 11 2010
Sten

You’re on fire today, hel. Another stirling remark.

Personally, I think it speaks volumes in support of the Republican movement.

17 11 2010
StKildaGirl

Yes! And why do the British have such ugly teeth? Don’t they have dentists over there?

17 11 2010
Sten

Excuse moi! I happen to be from Old Blighty, and while yes, my mouth looks like a train-wreck, I have better things to do with my hard-earned than give it to an orthodondist to satisfy my non-existent vanity!

17 11 2010
AlyssaKT

Good breeding removes the need for a lot of cosmetic dentistry

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

*like*

25 11 2010
Sten

I’ll take crap teeth over not being able to count to twenty without having to work out how many fists are crammed into me.

For the record, my family name originates from a brutal bastard who was recongised for smashing the teeth out of other blokes some five hundred years ago.

Apparently that also makes for good breeding. Stick to your day job, even bloody Fiona is funnier than you.

25 11 2010
Sten

Note: this was on the battlefield, not in some 1500s barber shop.

25 11 2010
AlyssaKT

Thank you, that made me smile 😀
(and when I smile other people smile back)

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

boy, that Cyd Charisse sure can stretch eh?

17 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

I’ve had a secret crush ever since I saw her dance with Gene Kelly in that epic “Gotta Dance” sequence from Singing In The Rain…

17 11 2010
lolplates

I am just lucky my favourite music has had its bandwagon moment, passed and left me in peace. Remember when Metal got big again ~2000 with trash like Korn, limp bizkit, slipknot and linkin park? Now I can be left with Cannibal Corpse and Emperor in quiet solitude, with out people suggesting that I’d like Korn…
I guess I feel the same way about people who liked AFI back in the day.

17 11 2010
Sten

Yep, I remember that. I was listening to stuff like Fear Factory, Slayer, and Satyricon (strictly a fleeting thing) and all of a sudden, idiots were saying “Hey Sten, if you like Fear Factory and Slayer, you’ll LOVE this!”

Then I heard Korn, and worse, Limp Bizkit. And quoth I “What are you on about, you cloth-eared moron? This is some of the worst drivel I’ve ever heard, and I’d quite like to rip my ears off, or better yet, rip YOURS off for subjecting me to this.”

Slipknot weren’t quite as bad though.

17 11 2010
martin

Yeah I must say the music scene is a lot less annoying now that the likes of Limp Bizkit, Korn, Blink 182, Nickelback and probably many others have been relegated to history’s astounding f#ckedness. They just seem to be a bunch of shallow idiot pop singers these days which is better.

17 11 2010
lolplates

Blink 182 was something that was all the rage in my primary school. Late 90’s I guess when ever dude ranch came out.
Sadly Nickelback are still around, although hating them could become a bandwagon in it self…

17 11 2010
martin

So it should. There’s a youtube video of the crowd in europe somewhere chucking rocks at them and Nickelback storming off stage. Lovely.

18 11 2010
p'bee

that is a funny video.

17 11 2010
Sten

At least the idiot shallow pop singers aren’t actively annoying. Back in the day, I would have loved to swing a hammer in the direction of Fred fucking Durst’s face.

Is it just me, or did the last of the good stuff come out circa 1995?

17 11 2010
hel

Faith No More we lost in ’97, Mr Bungle in 2000, thankfully we still have the godliness of Mike Patton to provide musical manna in various projects, all too obscure, unpromoted and commercially unviable to attract the Bogues. Most music these days makes me want to shove wok-in-a-box chopsticks in my ears and throw myself under a chavadore. I am now, officially, really bloody old.

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

like Tomahawk and Battles
excellent stuff.

17 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

There has been some good stuff since but the last new record I bought was Sleater Kinneys The Woods in 2005. And I still have it on high rotation.

17 11 2010
martin

I agree Sten. Although I usually use the year 1997 even though I couldn’t tell you what was good in 1997. In 1995 two of my favourite albums came out.

You Am I – Hi Fi Way
The Cruel Sea – Three Legged Dog

After that You Am I turned all wannabe mid Beatles Beatleesque and it sucked. Then not long after that all the manufactured grunge bands like ‘Live’ and ‘Bush’ and all that horrid shit took over. It was horrible. I remember sending very abusive emails to MMM.

I reckon the ruination of music was manufactured by the powers that be to demoralise people and to make us more malleable and apathetic. It literally did change the world with the hippy movement. There’s no way it could be done anymore.

Coincidence that the music died right before 911 and the war in Iraq? No cool people in bands to protest it and stop the cannon fodder from joining.

18 11 2010
p'bee

all of you are veering a bit too much towards ‘back in my day’ curmudgeonliness here.

18 11 2010
chris

Damn straight we are. Kids today are no good…. get outta my rose bushes ya little freaks…

18 11 2010
p'bee

us no good kids are running wild.

18 11 2010
martin

True. But this time we’re right. The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, INXS, Midnight Oil, Nirvana and Pearl Jam were indisuptedly awesome. It’s a fact. I reckon one day they’ll be able to prove it scientifically. When people look back on Cold Play everyone will say they were so incredibly err, GAY.

18 11 2010
martin

For instance they’ve done studies to show that plants grow better if there’s Beethoven or some sort of classical music playing.

18 11 2010
SD

Are they in the same bracket – I read somewhere that classical music was held to be truly superior and that anything that is part of pop culture is considered “easy listening” inclusive of everything that you have listed like the Beatles et al.

Not my thoughts but that’s the general criticism of postmodernism isn’t it i.e. it elevates the trivial and easy to cult status?

18 11 2010
p'bee

coldplay are evilly bad, but there are many great bands and musicians around. led zeppelin are painfully boring wankery, pearl jam are meh, inxs are hit and miss.

18 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

My theory is that most successful bands have no more than say three good albums in them. It’s all down hill from there.

18 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

Led Zeppelin up to IV, Pearl Jam Vitalogy, KoL – Youth and young manhood excellent and hit and miss after etc, etc…

18 11 2010
StKildaGirl

Most successful bands can never make an album as good as their first one. It’s usually when they’re young & hungry (eg; Pearl Jam) but then they start making money & are no longer hungry or passionate & their creative juices kind of dry up gradually… This can also can be compared to any Hollywood sequel…

18 11 2010
brad

What about Black Sabbath?,5 brilliant albums in six years, with the genius of Tony Iomma all Oswald had to do was shake his hair and bellow out.

18 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

I don’t think they were all that brilliant by 1975. Prolific yes. More hit and miss towards the end in they’re drug addled stupor. Probably, as usual for massively successful bands, because they get fat, rich and lose they’re purpose and drive. Next you will tell me Ozzy was re-born and awesome in his solo years when he was doing Crazy Train, Mr. Crowley and shit. Pffft!

18 11 2010
Ash

Totally agree I’ve been saying this for years. The late 90’s were truly dismal times for music, what was that crap song about sunscreen ? Truly irritating and perhaps a reflection of conservative times. At one stage in the late 90’s all the guys in bands looked like they were in the army or working in financial services. Blink 182, korn, limp bizcut, well thank fuck they’ve disappeared. Switched of triple j because I got sick of droning garage rock. Hey, music is supposed to have emotion, melody and sublime elements all of which I found to be lacking through this era. Aside from the dance genre which at times I quite liked, until 2006 it was all RnB and gangsta rap. I think music has steadily improved since 2006 and triple j are actually playing some good stuff these days.

18 11 2010
p'bee

the late 90s has some brilliant albums – bonnie prince billy’s i see a darkness, the magnetic fields’ 69 love songs, sigur ros’ agaetis byrjun, cat power’s moon pix, andrew bird’s bowl of fire’s the swimming hour (2001 but close enough), and elliott smith’s xo to name a few. none of them particularly rock, but all fantastic albums.

19 11 2010
brad

@ Johhny Drama i was just pointing out the fact that the previous posters had left out BS in all time great and influential rock bands,i dont really want to get in a bevy about early 80’s metal(Ronnie was the shit mind you),but i dont care Blizzard of Oz is still one of my all time faves-to me Sabbath were doing much more ground breaking material than anyone else around that time.

17 11 2010
Sten

Sigh… if only it were that easy. If Bogans were in fact like buffalo (or, as Chubby points out, Bison), it would be relatively easy to rid the world of this plague by pannicking them into jumping off a cliff, much as Native Americans did in days of yore:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_Smashed_In_Buffalo_Jump

17 11 2010
Nelson Esq

Now I have that sh1t awful movie ‘Bless the beasts and children’ in my head – I’m just trying to replace the bisons with bogans in the scene when bison were coralled into a large yard and the red-necks with rifles were gunning them down for ‘sport’.

17 11 2010
Sten

Never heard of it, Nelson, and thanks to your brief review, I don’t think I ever want to see it. Sorry for bringing back bad memories!

17 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Quite reminiscent of the album cover to U2’s Best of 1990-2000 compilation; the image captures what most people want to do after hearing it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Best_of_1990%E2%80%932000

17 11 2010
Lord Charos

Perfect. I love how you refer to the Bogan as a form of herd of animals.

17 11 2010
Pandabater

My Lord, there are marketing companies all over the world depending on it.

17 11 2010
hel

Not sure iof this link will work but this is pretty damn bogan!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=1654581080325&set=a.1654581040324.90170.1110990375

18 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

The link doesn’t work – what horror is it?

17 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

spent the day touring the old town.
meh…
funny to see 78’s is still in business (we bought dave sitek’s Maximum Balloon) but half the size and sans top deck, and Planet is also in business but twice the size and now selling clothes. (we bought another copy of The Book. our original copy is waiting for us in adelaide – it’s a long story based around the fact that I was paranoid they ould sell out before I got back to civilization)
strikes me that Planet have taken all 78’s business.

18 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

martin nails it.
there is no dissent.
we all drank the kool-ade.
so fuck it.
everything is just a bandwagon.
enjoy the ride.
do no harm

18 11 2010
chris

That’s awesome. I’m getting that on a tatt.

18 11 2010
Sten

We all drank the Kool-ade. Hahahahaha.

Nice one, Chubby.

18 11 2010
Jay Sin

Interesting music discussions here.

IMO, music as a whole died a quiet death in 1998. FNM was gone (though lets not forget Patton’s fine achievements since), OK computer had just been released, and their were some interesting “post-rock” releases coming out. Billy Corgan had pretty much thrown in the towel by that stage too.

Then nu metal hit and I pretty much switched off…

18 11 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

In Rainbows is a cracker, so radiohead still rate.
I really dig Art Brut, and they’ve nowhere near peaked (last album produced by Frank Black – there is no higher endorsement). Modest Mouse still excite me. I love LCD and sincerely hope Murphy has more up his sleeve. Kasabian was interesting. Bloc Party, Gorillaz, Damon Albarn is a genius and ditto for Josh Homme, which reminds me of Dave Sitek and TV on the Radio. Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs. The Gossip, The Kills are good, The White Stripes. Louis XIV, Little Dragon, Arcade Fire might be promising, oh! Interpol. and Peaches! Jesus how could I forget peaches? the Celebrations are up and coming, Tool are still in the game. Franz Ferdinand’s version of LCD’s My Friends is amazing listen to that and try and tell me music died in the nineties. That’s just off the top of my head. I too have no idea what’s happing on the Uber Hip Underground but there’s enough good stuff out of the last ten years to put Angus and Julia Moan in the dark.

(as dictated to chubbybloodfart)

18 11 2010
lolplates

I know what is happening in the Uber Hip Underground: Power Noise!

18 11 2010
Sten

Really? I used to listen to a fair amount of that.

18 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

oops.
I may have been slightly maudlin after searching (succesfully) for the bottom of a bottle of Bombay last night.
remember kids: it’s the internet. everything is vitriol and lies.
I’m probably not actually even a squillionaire.

Power Noise is sooo 2008.
der.
I’m into alt smashcore downbeat grind fusion remixes now.
Unless I’m on mushies.
then I like psybient.

18 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

I can see how you thought you were a squillionaire! Bombay is eeevil! Bombay Sapphire stole several hours from my memory. From the photo evidence, I must have thought I was wearing the emperor’s new suit, but the reality was a nudie run around the hotel balcony at 2am!

18 11 2010
JohnnyDrama

Oh no!!! It’s never happened before. I’m certain it was a single episode! Does that make me a bogan? 😦

18 11 2010
Will S

This is a very meta-entry

possibly suggesting TBL will be taking a break shortly?

18 11 2010
SD

I think so too.

18 11 2010
SD

And its time to get off the TBL bandwagon:-)

18 11 2010
daehoidar

Speaking of music bandwagons, I noticed with disdain that ‘The National’ are playing 2 shows at the Palais in Melbourne after selling out the first show in quick time…….I fear the bogan hordes have taken to High Violet in the same fashion that saw Bon Iver disowned by the hipster masses not so long ago. Fuckin bogans have to ruin everything.

18 11 2010
p'bee

disdain’s a bit of a dumb reaction, isn’t it? rejecting a band just because they’ve gotten more popular is as illogical as liking a band just because they’re popular. and high violet is the album of the year.

18 11 2010
urbanreverie

Thank you TBL, for explicit acknowledgement of an observation I’ve had in my head for many years now – the bogan is congenitally incapable of doing anything alone!

Travelling? Organising your own fares and itinerary, doing the things that you and you alone want to do? Bugger that! Much easier to let P&O do all your thinking for you and your fifteen hundred fellow travellers.

Young and single and need somewhere to live? Why, let’s all share a flat and trash it! Even if you have the income to rent your own digs.

Something that ought to be quiet and contemplative like fishing? No, it has to be a gregarious piss-up that becomes so loud and obnoxious, the little fishies are all scared away.

A simple task like grabbing a late-night feed from Macca’s? No, let’s ALL go down to the Golden Arches and rev our engines and wolf-whistle at the boguettes!

I know that Homo sapiens is naturally a social species. But as always, the bogan subspecies takes things to the maxtreme.

Oh, straying off topic here – but can somebody please explain the bogan habit of perching your sunglasses atop your head for me? I honestly don’t understand it. If you don’t want to wear sunnies, take them off. And if you want to wear them, put them over your eyes.

18 11 2010
brad

They behave like this because their lives are trite and jaded,boring and confiscated,if thats their best,their best wont do.

18 11 2010
Mikey

Ah the bandwagon. I know it well.

And I’m still not on facebook.

Which may make me the new wanker.

Also a big shout out to Tripod on this one too.

18 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

more beautiful bogan synchronicity:
wine tasting in the (under rated) swan valley and a bus tour hens party turns up.
on a thursday.
WA is proving to be a rich vein

18 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

urbs.
I’m sitting at a boutique brewery just now. enjoying a bit of a tasting selection. V. nice BTW.
we’re under a marquee out the back, in the shade…
and my sunnies (those free ones you get from servo’s) are perched firmly atop my skull, where they usually are if they’re not on my clock. it’s pure convenience, if I put them anywhere else I’ll lose them or break them.
Also my old mate Pat the Yank had a horror story about having some poxy lesion removed from his eye which still makes my arse twitch.
i paid a hundred bucks for a pair of sunnies the day after he told me the story.
that was before the servos started putting out the racks of free Aerials

18 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

The bogans co-opted my music of choice (punk) and begat Green Day and Blink 182. Don’t talk to me about their love of bandwagons.

I swear the next kid who tells me that Green Day are totally punk will meet a bloody and painful death.

18 11 2010
Tombarina

Take heart, Ash. For a handful, it’s the doorway to something more interesting.

My 16yo Sole Offspring made a brief detour along Green-Day-Are-Punk Boulevard about five years ago, soon found it wasn’t for him, but it led him to The Clash, Ramones, Dead Kennedys, Pennywise, TSOL, Dropkick Murphys et al.

Personally, I hate it. But I salute that a (then) 11yo was prepared to seek out his own stuff, while his mates had Nickel$hit on high rotation.

Or, did salute. I was informed last weekend that he and his mates are forming a band and calling it Satan’s Offspring. All they need is some songs, a lead singer, a bass player, a bass guitar, a drum kit, time, money, a driver’s licence and a car and they’re set. I already want to sand off my own ears with an angle grinder…..

19 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

I had a similar path – all my mates were listening to 50 Cent and Ludacris, but I wanted something different. A music store guy introduced me to Black Flag and Pennywise, I was hooked from there.

19 11 2010
Tombarina

Confession: Ludacris’ vid for ‘Get Back’ kills me.

Giant hands are funny.

18 11 2010
SD

Off topic but I am ROFL and inspite of being so had to share this with p’bee.

I am sure she can totally make this stretch lace thingy!

http://www.regretsy.com/2010/11/17/wtf-alchemy-request-62/

18 11 2010
p'bee

i’d have to decipher the request first. but a lace body suit with applique, crystals and foot ruffles, hmm, i think my sewing machine would explode in disgust.

18 11 2010
Tombarina

Truly bizarre. And loved this comment:

“I think she…typed this with her tits.”

fewu7gfgi eid8^9t09jh&*($$%hnoh/}}}}}}WUH&($%)(IJJYOT9947hio
Hey, it’s harder than it sounds…..

18 11 2010
SD

Tits are all over etsy. As the site creator observes randomly taking your top off is the new duckface.

P’bee you could sell it for a motza to Brynne aka the hambeast-just make sure the tits and legs are on display.

18 11 2010
p'bee

i could, but i’d probably have to meet her if i made it. i’d prefer to stay poor.

18 11 2010
SD

ah well Regretsy has it that it’s Courtney Love, apparently she had this a/c which shows equal spelling skills
http://www.etsy.com/shop/cherryforever666

18 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

ah mikey.
beautiful
muchas grassy arse to your good self and HM.
fuck facebook.
fuck it hard
fuck it twice.
and I’m coming to the same pov on twitter.
everytime I want to toss up one of my pithy remarks it wants me to log in again. And then it wants to tell me My password is wrong.
I mean, I’m all about building my profile, and maybe it will make me famous somehow..
but I really couldn’t be fucking bothered.

18 11 2010
fangoria

The iphone is the bogan phone of choice when they jump on the smartphone bandwagon. No other phone says bogan more than the iphone.

19 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

chubby had fine night playing ping pong with randoms and smoking blunts and drinking swan valley fizz and bulmers.
Edna is the Supreme Ping Pong Champion of the Universe.
I really never understood it before tgonight.
but there it is.
this has very little to do with bogans.
we just think Tombarina is funny.

19 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

I am ab solutely gonna cook a steak and play COD4!

19 11 2010
Boonie

I think you’ll find that AC/DC Wagon and their seminal video for “It’s A Long Way to the Top” would fall within the critical zone of triple overlap of your venn diagram.

Touche. TBL

19 11 2010
Phil

Try “The Knife” (album with “Silent Shout” on it) or “Fever Ray” (album with “If I Had A Heart” on it). You will not be disappointed.

I have tried to post this elsewhere, but it keeps going in the wrong place so here it is.

19 11 2010
Shirley

I feel like the end is nigh.

P.S. People who talk about phones are very boring.

Love always, Shirl.

19 11 2010
Tombarina

Where you been, Ms Mullet?

Thought you and Vivi must have run away together.

With Pinky and James H and Panda and Panda.

Now that WOULD be weird.

19 11 2010
Shirley

I went a’holidaying and broke my wrist and I’m high so high on lovely painkillers.

I have no idea where the others are. They are definitely not here in my bed.

20 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

What’s with you Qldr’s and breaking stuff, is it just for the drugs? Stay well Shirl. I steer clear of phone discussion myself but whatever floats your boat I spose.

20 11 2010
Shirley

Well the breaking happened in NSW, for what that’s worth. Thanks for the well wishes tiger.

20 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You were not practicing for Chilean porn were you Shirl?

20 11 2010
Shirley

No. Not practising. 😉

19 11 2010
brad

Her her Shirley comparible to discussing the virtues of wallet manufactures,ho hum.

19 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

Phil!
missed that.
we love the knife and fever ray.
we have been having heaps of fun singing of our adventures on the road in the style of (karen something?) The Knife :
“Stop the car, build the tent, this is our House”
“Sitting in the Ri-ver, looking at the Wa-ter…
Tiny Fiiish!”
“Stumble in the Dark Tent, knock over the Buh-ket…
Smells of Piss! ”
to the tune of Triangle Walks.
try it yourself. Everybody!

20 11 2010
MBK

TBL I propose a page. One so perfect I do not see a box left unticked.
Things bogans like……… #199 Subaru WRX

20 11 2010
Tombarina

*applauds reverently*

Subaru make excellent, if not the most aesthetically pleasing, vehicles – well-built, great resale value, cleverly-considered interiors, very comfy.

But a pox upon both its houses for the WRX. It’s like the one kid among a well-loved brood who grows up to become a serial killer, and drags the rest of family down with it. A vehicular Bundy.

20 11 2010
chris

I loves me old Scooby Doo wagon.

20 11 2010
Tombarina

I hear you.

I had a Forester for years. Looked like a bewheeled garden shed, but a delight to drive.

20 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

More so amongst the Lebanese/Asian bogans. Some white bogans will go after WRXs, but most wouldn’t be seen dead in some farkin rice burner.

20 11 2010
Pandabater

True, except for white japanese tray back utes,
with aussie swazi/flags all over them.
I can never work that one out.

21 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

Ha!
the japanese ute with Real Aussies Drive Utes sticker.
the bogan is a riddle wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in deep bullsh!t.
everyone knows real aussies drive aussie utes
and put american badges on them.

also Edna has a 96 RX Liberty which has never missed a beat. Sweet car.

and Triangle Walk is by Fever Ray
not The Knife.

27 11 2010
Ash - Corporate Lawyer cum Lingerie Model

I didn’t mention this earlier, but increasingly the NaBs tend to be massive sporting bandwagoners.

Case in point – in 2008, when the Sharks were doing well, you saw bogan cars all over the Shire with Sharks stickers and number plates, bogans wearing Sharks jerseys etc. The crowd (Especially the hill) would be packed with bogan roid monkeys with Southern Cross tattoos.

The last couple of years when they haven’t been so good, the bogans have pretty much all migrated to the team north of Tom Ugly’s (mixing with Lebs and other wogs at a game is a pain, but the fact that they’re winning is worth it) which has actually made Sharks home games a nicer place to be, as you’re mostly left with footy diehards and old school bogan types who are almost all GCs.

27 11 2010
p'bee

i live in the st george district. there are still dragons flags and streamers on cars.

27 11 2010
brad

Im an avid Collingwood supporter and i know our boganity is in your face,but the supporters down the highway in Geelong take the cake,a few tears ago you couldnt get a crowd at kardinia Park even if you were giving away vouchers at the game for the local tattoo shop.Fas-forward a few years and a couple of premierships,brownlows,ect and every half-brained fluero-wearing mug who lives down there works with Gazza’s cousin or went to school with Lingey or Jimmy Bartel as if they had a personal hand in the teams success just by some piss-weak random association-f#%k i hate Geelong not just the footy club either!

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