Friday Bachelor of Bogan (BBo)

5 11 2010

It’s been an imperiled week of boganity. Please observe:

The recent Qantas A380 disaster has caused outrage amongst bogans because:

Canberra Raiders player Joel Monaghan’s stunt of having a friend’s dog lick his testicles on camera is:

 

CBA’s decision to raise lending rates by 45 basis points after the Reserve Bank increased the cash rate by 25 basis points on Melbourne Cup day:

The bogan has had an amazing week because:


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99 responses

5 11 2010
Fiona of Carlton

Here’s my bogan news to the week: I saw in Target their young mens fashion range is called Maxx.

The shame.

5 11 2010
James Hunter

So ? You hang roung Target looking at young men ? Shame indeed !!

5 11 2010
Fiona of Carlton

Haha no I was getting my bogan-DIY hat on and was looking for those 3M stick-on hooks.

Don’t rate the talent at Target, now Big W on the other hand… ;-P

5 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Tar-zhey Fiona, TAR-ZHEY…

5 11 2010
urbanreverie

And last night at 1st Choice, I saw a beer: “Maxx Dry”. The humanity. Oh, the humanity.

5 11 2010
Shirley

I’ve tried Maxx Dry. The flavour is even more distasteful than the name.

5 11 2010
Mick

Jokes about beastiality are bogan?

I disagree. And if that goat says anything it’s a bloody liar.

6 11 2010
Will S

I heard Canterbury will be Joel Monaghan a job, in fact they want to make him captain.

The headlines will read “Monaghan gets head job from dogs”

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

We can’t make jokes about Kiwi’s without beastiality.

Why are so many Kiwi’s moving to WA?

Because they think the Canning Stock Route is an annual event!

5 11 2010
hel

It’s not? Dammit!

5 11 2010
Mick

How do Kiwis spell sheep?

They don’t shag them for a week.

5 11 2010
chris

You can laugh all you like, but the Kiwis are turning their economy around… they have found two radical new sheep byproducts: meat and wool.

5 11 2010
Sybil Ince

Whereas speculation about Kiwis and sheep is just that, we now have photographic evidence about Australian men and their cousins.

5 11 2010
chris

Meh. We’ve had evidence of that ever since the inception of rugby. I once heard someone say that relationships between various countries in the Commonwealth revolved around who thought who was shagging the sheep. Brits think Aussies do, Aussies think Kiwis do, etc etc. She came to the conclusion that it was the fault of the sheep for being sluts.

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Sybil,

I’ve been trying to post a photo of a kiwi shagging a sheep but apparently the interweb does not allow such things. Sorry.

5 11 2010
Shirley

Why F@%&ing Greedy? Why not just Fucking greedy?

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

This weeks Bogans of the week comes from the land of Sand, Iron Ore and Turnips, Hel etc

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/

Can’t seem to link the photo I want but at the top of the page where the photos cycle through No 1 caught my eye. Have a look and you will see why have here worthy redneck winners.

5 11 2010
hel

SINK THEIR BOATS! At least they used the correct “their” (Going back to double check)

5 11 2010
hel

Yes, they used the correct “their”. Our bogans out west is educated Simon.

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Lipstick on a pig Hel!

5 11 2010
hel

A bogue by any other name would still smell of lynx.

6 11 2010
Bag O' Turnips

Hi Simon, thanks for the reference 🙂

Oh yeah, beyond iron ore, sand, alumina, gold, nickel and Perth Worsts, in Wait Awhile we also have wheat. Often in lockstep with keeping sheep. Both for wool and meat. Lots of ’em.

But upon hearing the noisy burghers of Northam, gateway to the Wheatbelt,I know it isn’t just the sheep who bleat.

At least the sheep are useful, probably made more useful to those protesting bogan rurotards who can think ofbfew things more Aussie! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! OI! OI! OI! than gnawing upon a charred piece of lamb on Straya Day, ‘cos Slammin’ Sam Kekovich told them so, despite the fact that a decade ago he was delivering his homilies tongue firmly in cheek on The Fat, would be aghast lest they realise that it’s those very one-and-same asylum seekers, who often, end up working at the abattoir that processes the lamb carcases that allow them to eat maxxtreme quantities of lamb, all part of a day celebrating the superiority of the bogan in being able to racially taunt their cake(bakers) and eat it too.

5 11 2010
Shirley

Ignorant, selfish AND ugly. Bravo, bitches. Bravo.

5 11 2010
p'bee

ugh. i read the article too – the one nation person’s comment is just horrendous.

5 11 2010
hel

can I just say, we are not all as bad as that, give or take the odd ball lick by a dog, it’s pretty sweet.

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

These people breath oxygen, and by that I mean thieves.

During a question and answer session after addresses by officials, local farmer Eric Fox said: “These people have a legal right to come here and seek asylum.”

One Nation State vice-president Lyn Vickery said: “They will slit your throat in a second.”

Another Northam resident, John Edwards, claimed 3m-high fences would not be enough to stop detainees from escaping. “The first thing they are going to do when they jump the fence is steal my car and drive to Perth to blend in with their own kind,” he said.

A Serco spokesman said that had never happened before.

Shire president Steven Pollard drew an angry reaction from the crowd when – after acknowledging the traditional Aboriginal owners of the local land – said that everyone at the meeting was there because of the immigration policies of the last few hundred years

5 11 2010
hel

I am intrigued by this race of people who can jump 3m fences! That’s awesome! Where have these super immigrants come from?Surely the bogue can embrace that, I mean get them on our Olympic highjump team, then they will become “Our Usef”.

On a serious note however, I am ashamed of these comments, mind you, I have been to Northam and it is a sh*t hole so yes, put the immigrants there, they will work hard, get the f&ck out of there and leave it to the rednecks to continue breeding amongst themselves and dreaming of being able to scale 3m fences in a single bound.

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Don’t forget John Edward has psychic powers so he must know. There is something bogans like, psychics.

5 11 2010
Sybil Ince

“Where have these super immigrants come from?”

Middle feckin Earth, as far as I can tell from the reference to “Shire” President. TFF. Shire!! Where do you guys get this shit? rofl

5 11 2010
hel

HAHA! That reminds me of an episode of Extras I was watching last night! Ricky Gervais is fighting a midget who has accused him of trying to steal his fiance and he holds up the engagement rings and says “Why do you think I have this ring?!” and Ricky says “You’re a hobbit?” I fell on the floor laughing. Now there is something bogans do NOT like, British Humour. They may say they do but they do not actually watch it, unless it is Benny Hill, but that’s just for the tits.

5 11 2010
clipper

That’s why most of them are on ABC where bogans will never see them (except for the ancient ones on 7two)

5 11 2010
common man

One (communist/eyed) nation.Unopened to a rational thought or policy.Maybe even the history books are to ashamed to accept them im geussing

5 11 2010
Mick

The irony here is that the asylum seekers will work hard and do what they can to get out of the hole that is Northam.

The bogans will continue to embrace it.

5 11 2010
hel

In terms of overall boganity, this has been a stellar week. I had a few close “bogue shaves” of my own (NB: bogue shave is NOT a genital hair removal type) Point in fact, got call from footy player to collect him and his Melbourne mates from Ascot Racecourse in Perth after the racing on Tuesday, drove through gridlock traffic seeing hundreds of bogans in suits staggering up Great Eastern Highway and sunburned to smithereens, femme bogues, shoes in hand, I felt I was in a Bunuel film without the subtlety. When I arrive to collect said individuals, they were dressed in ripped old boardies and wife beaters. I was throw into a quandry. Can anyone help? What is more bogan? Getting frocked up or suiting up for the races OR going dressed as the latter? I hate it when bogans blur the lines.

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’m really not sure on that one but instinct say’s it a ……. draw.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/chilean-miner-arrives-in-new-york-to-run-nyc-marathon/story-e6frf9if-1225948164630

Hey Hel, is he running from Tunnel Kunt?

5 11 2010
hel

Balls deep in Chile

5 11 2010
Pandabater

It’s interesting (to me anyway) that there was not one comment on the story but anger the bogan & you get meltdown.

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I was going to nominate Rugby but really do I need to? We all know they are a savage bunch of bogans with the morals of Hitler.

5 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Rugby League, Rugby Union or both?

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Mostly league really Prince.

5 11 2010
Pandabater

I must try harder, none out of 4.
Good dog.
Rob the old lady for daddy.

5 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Thank God for that; being a Union player myself, it’s nice not to be tarnished with that brush…still, there is an emerging Bogan presence in Union. Especially if you play 5th Grade Suburban Rugby in Sydney when most of the teams hail from the God-forsaken west…it’s all islanders and bogans who weren’t ‘good’ (and I use that term lightly) enough for their local League team…

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I hope they don’t move to proper footy when GWS starts up. We have some bogues (FEV!) but nothing like League. I don’t mind Union, at least it keeps moving and you don’t have to hand the ball back if the ref says you have had your turn.

5 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Don’t worry about an exodus to GWS Simon; it’s a massive turf war waiting to erupt, if it hasn’t already. Western Sydney is the breeding ground of the Sydney Bogan (so by default the home of Rugby League) and a multicultural melting pot.

Sydney Bogans see the inclusion of GWS as a direct attack on Rugby League as a whole, since you’re plonking it right in the middle of Blacktown. The AFL are being clever and aiming at the multicultural aspect of the West, targeting Islanders (Israel Folau being the shining beacon for them, alongside Karmichael Hunt at Gold Coast) and Africans.

However, attitudes are changing in regards to child safety in junior sport and the perception is that AFL is a safer option than League. Plus also the fact you haven’t got one or two kids directing everyone around the park in specialised positions as you do in League, in contrast to the inclusive nature of natural AFL participation, is changing the mindset at grassroots level.

Don’t forget you’ve got another A-League team coming into the west in the next year or two to add to the foray and you’ve got one hell of a battlefield to fight on if you’re in the marketing department for any of the codes…Union excepted, still perceived as the game for the white collar types of the North Shore and Eastern Suburbs…

My tip though is AFL will be the dominant sport in the next 10-20 years, simply because they have the bucks and the spin to convince the masses that it’s the game for their little Braydn or Anfonee…

Just quickly, AFL players have more bogan names than League players; makes em look quite ordinary really…Steele Sidebottom? Need I say anymore?

5 11 2010
p'bee

i have to say i think that, as a name, steele sidebottom is in a completely different universe to bogan names. i’m undecided whether it is a good or bad universe, though.

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Well at least he spells it correctly. that’s something but he does play for uber bogues Collingwood.

Panda, getting rid of Nein will not help. League is disappearing up it’s own arse and has no one else to blame but itself. It seems to be stuck in a time warp and does not know it. Attendances are weak and there is zero interest for the game outside NSW and QLD.

5 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

It’s a sad state of affairs for Rugby League in this country. They haven’t had a good ad campaign since the days of Tina Turner in the late 80s/early 90s, players always making arses of themselves in a way that it makes them appear like they actively seek it and an administration living in denial that their ship is sinking.

Super League killed the game; it ripped out its heart and it hasn’t been the same since. I long for the good old days, but how can you sell a product that nobody wants anymore?

5 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I think the problem is the complete boys club that it is. The wives decide what sport little Jaxxsun plays because she takes them and they will be hating League. I rarely watch league but the commentators and what not. What a bunch of dipsh*ts. Sterling, Johns etc, that is certainlty not helping either.

At least AFL has Dennis Cometti.

5 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

I admit, I do like AFL. I lived in Victoria for almost a year between the end of 2008 to September ’09 and it was AFL-mania throughout the winter, even though I played in the Victorian Rugby Union competition. It’s like a religion down there; EVERYONE is into it and you can’t help immersing yourself. Even girls going for a night out make plans to watch a game at the MCG. That sort of behaviour is totally unheard of in Sydney, especially at Rugby League games. It would possibly be frowned upon if it ever happened. You’re right Simon, it’s definetly the complete boys club!

5 11 2010
clipper

I think there needs to be a TBL entry on the Johns brothers – more maxxtreme bogans you will not see.

5 11 2010
brad

The poo in the hallway incident didnt help or the Johns brothers or…………… need i go on -nobody does it like League

5 11 2010
Mick

It was Hopoate who first pulled league into the shit.

5 11 2010
Pandabater

Prodded

5 11 2010
brad

Simon you forgot to mention he came 2nd in a US competition of funniest names in sport,and oh yeah he has silverwear.

5 11 2010
Pandabater

I’m waiting to see how League responds when they can throw off the channel nein noose & get some decent money.

5 11 2010
Sean

I have no idea if this posting is relevant, but on the ABC news there was footage of the “public reaction” to the proposed asylum seeker settlement (gaol?) in Western Australia. An intellectual fellow stood up and said (note the priority), “If they get over the fence they will steal my car, rape my wife and then go to Perth to fit in with their own kind”.

6 11 2010
Luke

Loved you both on SEN yesterday… Will definitely have to pick up the book just to see how far gone I am!

6 11 2010
SD

Mr. Jayfox if that was you speaking on SEN, you need to release an audio version of the book – pronto.

6 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

as resident psychonaut I feel compelled to point out that giving methamphetamines to one’s pets is likely highly irresponsible.

Also i am disappointed that Kevin Rudd will not be assuming control of the banking system. I was sure I had that one correctt.

6 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

…and we see the old “AFL vs NRL for top bogan” chestnut is getting a run again.
Lets put this one to bed shall we?
firstly, there is no doubt that the ranks of both code’s playment rosters are positively swollen with bogans. and yes, the johns bros. are doubtless worthy of their own post, but this subject has been covered by the fevola entry. in any case the point is moot. the dispute over which code attracts a more bogan following is not appropriate to the specified subject matter of this blog. to wit; “footy” (as typically defined in this country) is old school bogan. we are concerned herewith with the proclivities of the New Age Bogan, and to that end, Bogues like footBALL. that is, soccer. yes, that’s right, the simple to understand, easy to play game with the international cachet and the fancy shirts. try getting into the coogee bay hotel sports bar in your 1996 brisbane broncos pemiership guernsey and see how far you get. now pop off home and then come back in your AC Milan or Gunners strip and it’s all “welcome aboard esteemed Punter”. I have explained all this at length previously, but to prove it simply for yourself, take a wee cruise past the carpark of your local stadia next time the A League circus rolls into your ville. AND TONE STOP SAYING FCKING “WOGAN” it cheapens us all. either define everyone by their ethnicity or no-one. personally my background is welsh and french, and my beautiful wife is lebanese and english, so if our future progeny grow up bogan what will you call them? I’ll tell you. You will call them “Bogan” you fcking racist!
where was I?
oh yes.
Rugby.
Rugby is the game they play in heaven. alas the rules, gameplay and interpretation thereof are one of high cultures most outstanding examples of arcane esoterica. therefore for the benefit of the masses, it was streamlined into the variant known as League, thereby creating the world’s greatest spectator sport. unfortunately most of the masses still couldn’t get past the extreme physicality of either code and went off to do something easier to understand. alas many folk who live in the other half of australia, that is the HALF which isn’t new south wales and queensland are rarely exposed sufficiently to either rugby code to truly gain an appreciation of the athleticism, stamina, teamwork and sheer courage required to represent the game at the elite level. this is because in small rural backwaters, such as adelaide and perth, Rugby League is actively supressed lest it draw funds from the massive crows/eagles/power/dockers franchises which hold such jealous sway in those benighted climes.
Alas.

6 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Sorry to be a pain Chubster, but the Manly Sea Eagles won in 1996…

And I disagree with Football taking the mantle of the sport of the New Age Bogan. I’m an avid football fan myself, watching the hapless Sydney FC trying to defend their title this season. I see no real evidence of a bogan presence, especially since they would have to cross Anzac Parade in order to get to the SFS to watch them after trekking from the Western Suburbs. The clientele that attend matches are your Eastern Suburbs types: Old Jewish men and those faux Euro types. Football is still the domain of shelias, wogs and poofters; I think New Age Bogans like the ‘idea’ of football, rather than the actual game itself…much like White People like the idea of it; take the following example:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/03/03/80-the-idea-of-soccer/

7 11 2010
TheBattlersPrince

Sorry to pop your rant bubble Chubster, but Manly won the premiership in 1996…

7 11 2010
brad

360 degree periphial your game lacks-that takes real balls to deal with end of subject.The Northern colonies hang their hats on this British import of a game with a stiff upper lip,but alas it is dying a slow death and will soon be overtaken by the indiginous game and the simple generic game we call soccer.

6 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

chubbybloodfart is brought to you by Tanqueray, Jack Herer’s White Widow and Sound Logic.

6 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

chubby wears shorts by billabong and a blue woollen cardie his mum gave him for his birthday.

effing cold here!

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

just been reviewing the northam fracas…
I feel disposed to support comments made along the lines of “these protesters are not racists”
I agree. they are simply ignorant morons. I’d like to believe that this situation could present a superb opportunity for people to open their minds and be re-educated, but it is true that there are none so deaf as those who will not hear.
I note with interest the good senator attributed some of the rabble rousing to venerable right wing shock jock institution Howard Sattler. surely he has his own page on worst of the west?
the good news is that natural attrition and economics will take care of rural sh!t holes in their death throes such as Northam and in a generation or so there’ll be plenty of vacant space out there. perhaps in the meantime the government could offer disgruntled One Nation fans free relocation to their own Survivalist Enclave.
Wittenoom has some vacant real estate.

s

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

ooops.
Surely the “miracle” of mesothelioma is appropriate reward for those who would keep us pure.

7 11 2010
Pandabater

Ain’t karma a bitch.

7 11 2010
Trunkmonkeerulesok

Submissions for number 19X: No lawn:dirt caryard (Minimum 5 cars) in the front at worst, tan bark and artifical grass at best. Middle of the road, grass up to your cotch growing wild. It has been a wet spring. All require minimial maintenance which reduces the need to maintain the appearance of the front. Also gets in the way of drinking rum and coke with beer chasers under the carport in full of the neighbours.

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

…indeed.
but alas the evidence compels me to not believe in Karma.
If there was such a thing as cosmic justice George W. Bush would have had his face covered in suppurating arseholes by now. And the arseholes would be leaking pus and sh!t down his face over the hairy donkey balls miraculously growing from his chin.

we’ll just have to leave it to the history books.

7 11 2010
common man

Speaking of history,

My original complaint to the esteemed tbl authors was that they used my name in one of their entries.(hence the early manic responses)To which it made it in the book aswell lol!. I suppose i should be thankfull for the self awareness tbl has opened one’s view to,but it wasn’t “black bean” it was “sweet @sour” when leading the masses

7 11 2010
James Hunter

CM,
was that “has been” maybe ?
This leading of the masses thingy always worries me. If one wwere to lead the masses like Ghandi did it would be a privaledge and maybe a miracle but to lead the Masses like the caflic priests do would be at the least a hoax and at the worst a perversion.

7 11 2010
common man

@jh.yes, but its more of the latter part that counts.(baby steps)tbl is lucky i learnt jg’s mantra of “moving forward”.So it also appears(p159) that even though written in terms of mockery, tbl decieded not me(masses). Sorry fi

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

prince
um… Yes.
well
it was a deliberate error.
in homage to the BBo format.
yes
well spotted.
of course Brisbane got the little general in 1995.
didn’t they?
Oh, and Fuck Manly.

and soccer is still bogan.
skunkingeraldtonistwentyfivebucksafuckingGram
what thefuck
isthatallabout?greedyfuckingbikergangstawannabefuckingBoganswhopickedupasetofuckingmetalhallidesatcashiesandhavenoideahowmuchfuckingKARMAcomeswithsellingpotthat’swho. cunts

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

in a yet further effort to make this end of the comments thread look like the walls of a third grade classroom…

prince
thankyou for your observations and passionate defence.
I am prepared to modify my claim. with due deference to diehard fans like yourself and the old jewish gentlemen, I say bogans like soccer but only when the world cup is on.
how’s that?
bogans have the attention span of locusts at best.
I am aware of the SWPL entry. if you were willing to search for chubbybloodfart in the comments thread you will find my extremely well reasoned explanation of why soccer is a simplistic game best suited for children and only so massively popular because any malnourished third world kiddie with an inflated goat bladder can do it.

I don’t think it would be appropriate to repeat the explanation here.

and Simon, I did read your defence of the spiderman suit and I am totally in agreement with you using it.
just because you like these things, it doesn’t mean you are bogan.
😛
but Bogans like Cycling stands.
(note that’s with a capital C. riding a pushie is still cool. especially those retro looking fixies. right? right??)

and is it still ok to have your undies showing over the waistband of your shorts?
these things are twenty odd bucks a pair.

8 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thanks Chubs.

Re fixies, that is the bicycle as fashion statement. Look at who rides them, if it is anything like Adelaide they will be 20, wear stovepipe jeans, scarf and one of those funny hats. Also pay more for that than a bike with gears?

No to public appearence of undies over waistband.

Bogans don’t like cycling! Reasons already extensively explained re too hard, takes understanding to appreciate the race etc. Just trust me bogans don’t like it although I have previously admitted that some wankers do. Different I think, Ok?

18 05 2015
powerlounge

This is very true. The closest that a NaB comes to liking cycling is trying out Triathlon, where it will enter an “Ironman” branded race at great expense, spending around $10,000 on a pro worthy Time Trial bike (which they also use as an excuse to berate true cyclists – “I ride myself but some people! blah blah blah”) wetsuit and running gear.

After completing a sporadic, ill informed training program, it will typically turn up to the race underprepared, with flashier gear than some of the professionals and struggle to make the time cut. Afterwards it will proceed to wear the event T-Shirt to every outdoors event (such as boot camp, kids athletics carnivals/football matches) for the next 12-18 months, in order to let all and sundry know that they are an “Ironman!” It may also get a stupid Ironman branding tattoo (an M with a dot above it) on their ankle or calf as further advertising of it’s Ironman status.

Afterwards, the bogan goes one of two ways – it will either be disappointed with it’s result and get totally enamoured with the event and sacrifice all family time in the attempt to qualify for the mythical World Championships in Hawaii, or sell off it’s once state of the art gear (generally to a young, broke, up and coming pro) 6 to 12 months later after telling all it’s friends and family how extreme it is being an Ironman and how it’s going to smash everyone at it’s next race.

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

lazy day.

Things Bogans Like

#503 Hydro.
writes itself.

7 11 2010
common man

@cbf. I thought the same but that is more osb.For the nab, desinger labels are a must.So wouldn’t the garage based meth lab fuelled by our local chemist fit better.Plus scouring pharmacutical auctions for pill press’s

7 11 2010
vivisection

Hi tBL, bought the book today at Borders in Melb central – teh woman serving told me they were selling lots of copies! Apparently a popular xmas gift! Woo Hoo! Looks like a lot of bogue self-revelations are about to occur during the New Year!

Siiik! We’ve been told that there’s no sales data available until the end of this week, so you’re giving us good news! TBL

7 11 2010
common man

*aka carl williams/john ibrahan*

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

ooh Quick!
Simon, Viv, everybody!!!

Simon I need help! Please paste a link here to the book review linked to from the Things Bogans Like in Bookform page and then we can all go there and write smashing reviews!
oh please do!
It will be such fun!
I can’t do it from my mobile, but I’ll stay here and make sandwiches and ginger beer!
Oh do come on everyone! We’ll have such a jolly old time of it!
Come On!

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

I say, do come on everyone…

they don’t seem to want to publish mine.

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

ah Brad!
thanks for the travel tips!
I missed Karajini due to dog posession and time constraint, but I heard much rave of it. ibid re: time for dirk hartog island. is it accessible by ve hicle or do you need a boat? both are on the list for future excursions.

I demurr on AFL v League. I think they’re both excellent displays of sportness in all it’s glory. It’s apples and pears and all just depends where you grew up. rugby involves the sacred tautology of promoting the ball by moving it backwards. AFL players are extraordinary athletes and the game takes place over an area the size of the Sudatenland, both use the wily and unpredictable oval ball, but soccer leaves me cold. round ball, flat paddock,stick it in the net, dont use your hands. too easy. ergo no result frequently; everyone who plays high level soccer is just amazing at it.
simple. primitive. boring.
that’s why they riot.
but I wouldn’t say any of that in here.
I have no wish to foster dissent among comrades.

8 11 2010
brad

Chubs, my travelling companions and i paid a local trawler operator to take us over after an agreeable evening spent downing rum and red(also helped he was an expat Vic from our neck of the woods) .We stayed 2 nights and when we couldnt reach his mobile on the 3rd day things did start to look a bit grim,but he turned up at our rendeveau point.If you have no luck plying a trawly with free piss,pot and cash try out one of the charter boats that leave from Denham.You can take a barge from South Point if you want to take your four wheeled house,but i think it only operates in winter and i would strongly advise you didnt as the tracks are pretty basic and will tear most vehicles to shreds after a few days(we had a v8 Land Rover 1982 model – designed for use by Olivers Army) and we were glad we didnt bring her over.If you’re into throwing a line in the water it is paradise-beach fishing,rock fishing heaven,otherwise you could easily spend days just beachcombing or following the many walking and animal tracks.Theres awsome cliffs to climb and spectaculer veiws every where,best of all the silence and isolation gives one clarity of thought.oh yeah didnt see one bogan either,in fact we only saw about 6 other people
Kalbarii’s a pretty good place too.
i did play a few games of league many years ago during a time of residence in Nth Q,after my intial fear of knowing im simply not built for this game and if i wanted to get smashed by a Poly i would be better of playing pool for money down at the local,i actually enjoyed-fun and challenging game once you attune your self to the rythm and flow of the game,probaly more emphisis on teamwork than aussie rules and theirs more hits but the stop/start helps you recover easier thn in AFL.
I do like a good wind-up but ill leave the soccer alone,i think you’ve said all that can be sayed ha ha.

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

wordpress has no reply button on the mobile version.
Nokia 51whatever (5176?) will not load full version of page. smart phone.
mobile phone as modem on netbook I bought to replace my cactus old laptop is totally unstable.
stupid vodaphone pre paid wireless dongle I bought is useless as vodaphone only covers about 98% of fucking EUROPE.
Optus mobile account has about six months to run, and their coverage makes vodaphone look like a reasonable investment at the time.
Old next G phone Cranky (my mate) sent me from adelaide died. (I will get a new one after christmas, but I have to pay my rego and insurance in January first. I should totally rearrange that to june or something)
so I like to really work it when I get the chance.
Sorry about the mess. I have ADD.
really!

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

cm
agreed.
Not just pot, but hydro.
average underbelly wannabe can’t find a pill press or even precursors.
but he can grow hydro in a walk in wardrobe (until he burns the house down) and sell it by the gram in little smiley sachets and think he’s Howard Effing Marks.

Things Bogans Like

#2744 Backpackers
The Bogan believes that the entire female half of the 6,222,427 backpackers currently in australia are all statuesque, nordic (or possibly brazillian)lingerie model come lawyer types with terminally itchy clitori.
this is not the case. Backpackers are, in fact, simply a random sample of twenty somethings primarially drawn from a random sample of the countries with whom australia have work visa arrangements. Frequently the primary distinguishing characteristics are in fact an outrageous tan, a pot belly and insufficient clothing. unless they are german, in which case they will also be wearing sturdy hiking boots and have some sort of useful tool around their neck on a safety cord. secondary distinguishing characteristics are frequently indolence, ignorance and drunkenness these combine to form a sort of miasma of generalised stupidity around most backpacker gatherings. Most of them are lucky to have even made it to australia on their own wits in the first place. There’s no way she wants to take the risk of trying to find her way back to the hostel from your place. The myth that these chicks are out here for some hot aussie penis away from the prying eyes of home is prevalent among bogan tribes, but this is erroneous. Back at the hostel Young Tyler from canada has had the glad eye on tubby Francesca from essex and has been working on her almost as hard as his tan since they got back from tomato picking in Kunnanurra. (You don’t even know where Kunnanurra is.) wooing her with his rock hard abs and playing “redemption song” on the battered old classical he originally bought at Sh!t 4 Ca$h in Narooma.
And she’s got no idea what an HSV is.
or why you want to keep telling her about it.
Remember, Australia is just Bali or Thailand to these people.

7 11 2010
James Hunter

chubby,
You have certainly been in the groove today. Whatever it is that your on can i get some !

Are you still looking for bios ?
I have been a bit side tracked last few days as Mrs H had a fall in the yard , thongs slippery garden bed edge, sprinkler added to two 17 year old artificial hips. Still she survived a brief stay in Maitland Hospital so that means she is indestructable !
cheers

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

ok, so I’ve come to terms with bands which sound like old bands from before they were born, I’m just listening to the Naked and Famous on JJJ from new zealand channeling the Jesus and Mary Chain or something, and then there was M85 doing the Stone Roses or the Charlatans this morning, but yesterday I heard a song called “bohemian rhapsody” probably name checking the Dandy Warhols I thought, but No! It totally sounded like Muse!
and I thought “wow, totally ripping off the Biggest Band in the World. that’s weak.”

Things Bogans Like

#600 Muse

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

ah Mr Hunter
your absence was conspicuous!

sad about Mrs H
I do hope they took all care to ease her pain.
I personally despise pharmies outside the therapeutic environment, but within the confines of prescribed care, they are to be indulged with equal measures of gusto and gratitude.
sincere best wishes.
yes I am going off a bit aren’t I?
mostly I’m just teasing fiona of T with my mad skilz, but I did also post a long explanation/apology which TBL have declined to publish.
seems pointless in the context of all the other crap I’ve put up.
mostly I’m just having a lazy day at a secret location in proximity to the Ton of Gerald W.A. and no, it isn’t Coronation Beach, can you believe they make you pay to stay at Coro now?
wack!
Yes! by all means bio Sir!
that was so cool. they’re all on oct 15 I think… it might be out of fashion now, but I suspect you are the longest standing TBL contributor if ubervu is to be believed, so you should totally be there.
I was hoping everyone would hop on this zany idea I had to post comments on the TBL book review link they posted, but no.
everyone hates me. or just has better things to do.
anyway I’ll prolly be back in the weeds soon…
¤sob¤

7 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

oh,
and Monkey Mia was cool.
we didn’t go down for the morning feed with all the other bogans.
we walked further around the bay and just hung out for the day. we had a mother and calf put on a great show hunting skipper fish mere feet away from us for about an hour as well as watching rays and little sandy coloured sharks hunt the shallows for baitfish and then a wild pod hunting about 20m offshore right on sunset.
cool
and I don’t even think dolphins are that cool.
(right now little insectivorous bats are hunting in our gas light)
amazing how many people arrived in the eve and just up and split after the dolphin feeding at 7:30am
crazy.
oh, and an emu attacked my dog.
and we saw emu chicks too. neat.
but I’m off emu after the dog thing.
if anyone gets the chance, go to shark bay, but go in february it’s less packed apparently. and don’t split after the feeding.
and go to dirk hartog island too.
brad says it’s nice.

8 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

West Australia.
flies
wind
bogues
sand
stars
night skies out here should be Patrimonio Mundial.

bogans don’t get stars.
not even on TV.

8 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

hmmmm…
“cattle and cane”
sweet.

8 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

…and faith no more (we care a lot)
my wife is so cool.

8 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

RATM “freedom”
“nature’s green is gold” right? the meat is sweetest closest to the bone.

I’ll stop now and go play some psy.
thanks for having me.

8 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

btw
devo signalling the end of the eighties revival

8 11 2010
chubbybloodfart BBo

just back on the joel monaghan thing…
is it bad because he did it, or bad because it was photographed.
I just want to get the ettiquette right.
so is doing a “wet helicopter” ok if it’s just you and the boys back at the shed?
I had a habit for a long time of trying to get my johnson surreptitiously into as many backpacker group shots as possible. that was years ago btw. I wouldn’t do it now. not with facebook and all that. eeewwww!
anyway is that wrong?

12 11 2010
Hopster

Hi all.

Long time lurker, first time poster. Just want to bring your attendtion to the photo here. Its a beaut.

http://bit.ly/aDraga

27 11 2010
Bethany B

I wish for world peace and harmony only.

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