It’s Friday. Please engorge your inflated medullae on the following:
According to the bogan, Joe Hockey’s swipe at the major banks is:
- A welcome call for more stringent regulatory oversight on a sector of the Australian economy that receives significant taxpayer largesse
- A direct challenge to Australian investors’ right to maxtreme dividends
- A sign that the Liberal party has fallen prey to the creeping influence of Bolivarian Socialism
- Quite amusing political theatre
McDonald’s’ failed bid to open a restaurant in the Barossa Valley has:
- Meant that the bogan cannot chase a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc with a Big Mac and large fries.
- Left thousands of locals without a place to do burnouts on Friday nights
- Helped to preserve the uniqueness of the region
- Ruined the itinerary plans of party bus and wine tour bus operators who ferry hordes of grape gargling bogans in from Adelaide
Charlie Sheen’s drunken hotel rampage against a prostitute shows:
- Why Two and Half Men is one of the highest rating programs on Australian television.
- How totally awesome Charlie Sheen is. This calls for an extra viewing of two and a half men this week!
- Why he should never have agreed to make ‘Hot Shots 2: Part Deux’
- Why you should NEVER fuck with a man’s expensive watch collection
Lleyton and Bec Hewitt’s decision to reveal their bay’s name to their fans via a $2 subscription text message service:
- Takes the recent trend of celebrities cashing in on their kids to a new low
- Exploits their child and its right to privacy
- Was a legitimate way for the Hewitts to let their real fans find out their new baby’s name before the general public
- Ava Sydney? Aww… I’m going to name my daughter Ava Melbourne!