The bogan knows it is unique and special and that it is particularly awesome. Because of its constitutionally enshrined free speech, it has many means of letting other know it, and even more for confirming this deeply held belief with itself. However, the belief conceals a deep, troubling insecurity. Is it really a unique gift to the world? How to be sure? The bogan realised that it needs to start every day with special reassurance that it is, indeed, a special snowflake, and that every other special snowflake thinks the same things it does. Breakfast TV was born.
Breakfast TV is a carefully calibrated mathematical bogan formula; the result of decades of intense trial and error. Two robots, made to appear male and female, flirt awkwardly with one another while offering a carefully selected combination of ‘news’ articles. These articles are designed to make the bogan smile the smile of the liberated, understanding bogan, or alternately fill the bogan with an inhuman rage. In between stories of bogans inspired by stories from the previous night’s A Current Affair or Today/Tonight, other bogans will pose on the street behind the set through a window. In the belief that they can receive twenty seconds of patronising attention from the obligatory dwarf weatherman, they will travel 45 minutes to the CBD of Sydney, carry placards, wave and gesticulate madly in an effort to draw the producers’ eye.
Along with the resident obligatory dwarf weatherman, there is also the obligatory outrageously camp ‘gossip’ reporter – who is irritating enough for the bogan to announce that its dislike is for reasons other than him being a fucking poof, all the while embracing the idea of gay people in two dimensions. Then there are the hosts themselves. The female robot sits, looking anodyne and attractive, lulling the bogan in to watch while the male robot, pretending to be jovial, is actually plotting the destruction of the universe. Each network’s robot has an inbuilt programming specialty, letting them either offer inane life and financial advice, or terrible, terrible jokes, after which it will grin stupidly at the camera, giving the bogan the impression that the joke was funny. The female robot is programmed to laugh also. Channel 7, however, have yet to replicate the technology that gave Channel 9 the inhuman incubus that is Richard Wilkins.
So, the bogan could wake up on weekdays and get a taste of reassurance to kick off the day. But then came Saturday. The bogan would awake groggily, and tune in, expecting to again be told that it was right, and safe. But instead, it was faced with kids’ TV. This displeased the bogan, who needed further validation. Weekend breakfast TV was born…
Thank you for changing it back to black on white. Much appreciated.
Just a note at the top. Anyone else who whines about the colour scheme won’t get published. Please refer to post #164. TBL
Welcome back, TBL!
Not responding well to constructive criticism…… bit of boganity in that? You could vomit on a page and scratch your posts in that then take a photo and put it online and it would still read as the best thing on the net, apart from story transcripts from A Current Affair of course.
Oh how sweet. And precious. And classic.
Wait, did you just tell us to HTFU?
Ah the robot that is Karl Stefanovic, takes me back to the ‘Get This’ days.
Get This Lives!!!
Didn’t they, at one point, have one of their fans change his Wikipedia photo to a picture of R2-D2?
Nodding Profusely!
Well he was the only one who didn’t get injured on Dancing With The Stars On Ice. As I recall they changed the picture of C3PO on wikipedia to a picture of the emotionless one.
“I can confirm that we are human, most of the time anyway.”
“Then what’s with the beeps homie?”
These shows are all atrocious, but I reserve a special kind of hatred for Mel and Kochie.
I hate to be a pendant (sic), TBL but I believe it should be ‘pretending to BE jovial’.
Fabulous work, as always.
it’s been years since MEL AND KOCHIE but what really pisses me off is how Kochie took away our morning cartoons many of us started the day on before school or work for those or us who were born in the tail end of the 70’s up to say 1981 or 1982 almost 20 years ago.How many of us remember Agro his many assorted female hosts and things like the smurfs amongst other things before leaving home for the day.what were 7 australia thinking.
Ugh. For some reason we just pick androids as hosts.
Compare that to “Phil and Fern” who used to host in the UK and there you have your answer.
Likable, funny, interesting… they never flirted and often would crack up on live TV and be unable to read the autocues.
The content was about as interesting as any breakfast show but if I was ever ill I’d always watch them because they were enjoyable to watch.
Shame no-one ripped off that idea unlike every other foreign success
Could become the genesis of a mockumentary series, à la Frontline, with a fly-on-the-wall perspective of the precious egos, chicanery and blatant misanthropy these shows incubate.
But then again, it would be very derivative, a bit too easy. Yet, the people behind the machinations (as well as those who foul the cameras with their vapid presence) would do well from having a primer to remember the lessons of Frontline, still all too prescient in this point in time.
I prefer Virginia and the bloke that is nearly sitting in her lap
With you there ABC2 for me in the morning, if I’m not watching a Baywatch rerun on Foxtel that is.
@ Si GAA
About as much news on “Boobtube” as there is on Mel & Koshie / Karl and Lisa.
ABC News Breakfast’s hosts are too far in the other direction. Virginia reminds me of a cross between ‘Fran’ from Black Books and a corpse.
Even the ABC Breakfast show is bile filled tripe.
As an avid ABC viewer, especially ABC iView on my amazingly expensive (outdated) home theater system, it depresses me that they are now trying to cater to the bogan market with their own Footy Show and breakfast show. While the sets aren’t as elaborate, the premise is still the same; to cater for bogans who think they aren’t bogans because its the ABC.
I would still rather watch abc breakfast than any other. I don’t feel intense hatred when its on , that’s a plus.
Between those early morning shows and breakfast radio (Fran Kelly on Radio National to some extent notwithstanding), they present a compelling reason to be a shift worker (of which I am), either getting up before sparrowfart or wake up too late for the peak hour jams.
Those types of programmes have the very opposite of the intended effect (to bring levity and humour first thing), instead rendering me unnaturally homicidal in feeling.
Shirley, what’s wrong with pendants? Jewellery has rights too…
These shows vindicate the decision to have the TV off in the morning (having no time helps too) – godawful ambushes of blandness.
Do Channel Nein hold “Karl” up as their model of ethnic diversity because his name sounds “wog-like”?. Wait, don’t they have another ex-model with a “wog-like” name on one of their lifestyle shows?
Where are the darkies? I need evidence that contradicts that the major networks are a “whitewash”.
There is no evidence, darkies must be neither seen or heard, unless they are Ernie Dingo or Kahmal. Such is the way of commercial TV in Aust. In American they have the token black dude reading the weather but he will have been specially coached to sound white so the viewer can close their eyes and pretend……..
Same goes with slopes, of course. Except for Dr. Cindy Pan.
It took a long time for ABC to get there too……unless I am mistaken and Jeremy Fernandez has been reading the news forever.
he’s taken a few years to get to the point he is now, but has been around a couple of years, i think. but abc’s had ethnic diversity on play school for ages.
Not seen play school:-)
I guess I am going merely by my first impressions – no doubt there are more presenters.
You can learn a lot more useful lessons watching Play School than you can by watching breakfast telly. You get to sing and dance too!
I’ll give it a go 🙂
Shirl,
and SBS’s Lee Lin Chin OK shes not on breakfast TV and she is terribly thin but she doed hsve a way with clothes.
Lee Lin Chin is the most inexplicably sexy woman on Aussie TV.
I’m terrified of her.
Her delivery is quite accusatory – I always come away feeling that I’m personally responsible for an airstrike on the Gaza Strip, or for a landslide in Uruguay.
Yes! With her tone I always feel guilty for not being militantly aware of world strife when I watch SBS news.
Although I think those pursed, disapproving lips of hers could do wonder to…
I think I’ll stop there.
On the other hand I can’t shrug off the feeling that Lee Lin is thinking of that awesomely fierce dress she spotted on her way to work and fully intends to wear on her next appearance.
I reckon she could suck the chrome off a towbar.
she rolls her own tampons
But her outfits are always sensational. The woman is the best accessoriser on Australian Televison.
the thing that stands out to me is how exact her lipstick always is.
Tombarina,
Have you ever seen her conducting an interview?
She is quick tenacious and takes no prisoners !
I used to find her very stressful to listen to. There’s just a grating quality to her voice I found disconcerting. I suppose I’m used to her these days though, but I tend to prefer to warmer tones of Anton Enis, or Janice Petersen or Nina Mairata (sp?).
Oh, and I’m a happy young football hooligan when Mariana Rudan reads the sport report. 😀
I watch her lips and pretend she is a strange exotic talking fish. Try it sometime!
And now, a live cross to a friend who used to work with with Lee Lin:
“She’s an absolute sweetheart with a wonderfully whacky sense of humour – it’s a shame there’s no scope for allowing that to shine through while she’s reading news items about death, destruction and military action.”
Thanks for that. I’m still frightened, though…..
I also did appreciate Mary Kostakidis, when she was on Essa: she quit when that graduate of tabloid telly, Stan Grant, began to prate about his supposed superiority, a byproduct of MD Shaun Brown’s commercial overtures on the station (i.e. slotting ads within individual shows). When Mary K couldn’t pull rank by dint of hard-won experience, it was a case of either “he goes or I go”. Unfortunately, she was the one to walk.
Also, TISM made a song titled “Lose Your Delusion” (complete with two versions, no less), all about giving up credibility in current affairs for the soft options on the other commercials.
on a related note – are stan grant and emma alberici the only two journos who’ve gone from commercial networks to sbs and abc respectively?
No, Scott Bevan and Anna Corrin switched. I guess they were seeking a bit of credibility?
BOT,
AND MaryK was HOT
Check out Lee Lin’s twitter feed – she is rolling on the floor hilarious. Who woulda thunk it??
Oh my god, she is so freakin’ hot. She’s my #145. Bet she’s really nice outside the tube, as well.
There need to be more weathermen like Ollie Williams.
“IT’S GONNA RAIN!”
“SWIMMIN’ HOLE!”
“WHO WANTS THIS DOG?”
Only because commercial TV likes to play the Hot Asian Chick card now and then.
Karen Tso, Channel Nine…tick!
LOL. I must watch one of these programmes some day when Father isn’t around.
I would not bother Fi, stick to Pride and Predjudice.
LOL. I would only watch once, of course, just to gain further insight into how the lesser people live.
Fair enough, we don’t want you picking up bad habits.
Wonder how many “Bad Habbits” Foney Rabbit picked up in the seamen ary ?
LOL. I think you mean semen ary. And habits.
Yeah, but who is this Foney Rabbit he keeps banging on about. Is he related to Peter Rabbit or Bugs Bunny?
LOL. Who knows? Who cares?
Foney Rabbit is Tony Abbot but I accept he looks like Buggs Bunny
Fi,
Thanks, I accept that you know more of these things than I !
LOL. I know more of all things in comparison to you.
The lack of ‘quality’ morning cartoon shows makes me sad considering what I grew up with. Cheez TV and Agro were a far more interesting way to start the day than Mel and Kochie or Karl and ‘generic lady who hasn’t been boned yet’.
I see a sequel to this post – Mid morning shows that are basically repeats of what’s just happened between 6-9am.
Advertorials.
At least Bert used to make that bullshit entertaining.
I would say they are even worse. Is Larry Emdur still the host of the Channel 7 morning show? He is such a knob end. Though, I do like that the sex therapist on that show is Dr. Cockburn.
it’s already happening ian – kerri-anne.
“generic lady who hasn’t been boned yet” you should write for TBL
Yeah that made me laugh, don’t even care who your talking about!
I agree with you Ian.I do remember starting the day with Cartoons before School and later Work whoever the bean counters at 7 decided to put on a Breakfast Show obviously doesn’t have kids.Not every home in this land has a Disney or Nickelodeon on Pay TV or the option on Digital with 11’s Toasted TV at this stage.
Me Too Ian.I remember before heading to school and my first year of work towards the end of 1996 in the case of the latter starting the day with some Cartoons.Who remembers Agro and Ann Marie/Holly/Shelly Croft in the Mornings?I would rather go back to that than put up with the Junk that is Mel and Kochie and on the weekend version That Annoying Deal or No Deal Guy and whoever else fills in on Saturdays and Sundays.
Libtards probably wouldn’t allow Agro on in the morning anymore and probably not a lot of those cartoons. For instance Elmer Fudd would be considered a redneck psycho.
Now you see it in the afternoons. 😀 Kids TV has lost it’s charm imo, it all seems to be just like video clips. Oh well, kids seem to like it.
I f#cken hate the wiggles. Fatwah on the wiggles. If I ever have kids I’m going to ask for a ban on them.
If you have kids Martin I imagine they will glass The Wiggles themselves.
That I would be proud of. Maybe I could get them listening to Nirvana instead. But then they’ll probably want to smoke bongs, better prevent that from a 5 year old. I should definitely equip them with some abusive words because I’m not paying for a farken Catholic school. Catholics are bogans. Unless I marry a Catholic and she’s awesome in bed.
yet it’s a double standard on weekends for instance they have all these new age disney channel offerings on channel 76 for the generation who misses their kids shows when they decided to replace agro with kochie at the start of 1998.i am 40 years old but love the occassional austin and ally or dog with a blog or liv and maddie over the weekend versions of sunrise.
speaking of which disney shows excepted if you have pay TV or ABC ME offerings what channels still show kids TV between 4pm and 5pm or 3pm to 6:30pm.None,Whoever decided over at 10 for instance that a mix of Cooking Shows,Bold and the Beautiful would be appropriate should be ashamed,similarly at 9 a mix of news and that god awful millionaire hot seat hosted by the knobhead of the collingwood football club.obviously the generation who remember kids shows,sitcoms and cartoons as news lead in’s through the eighties and early nineties were largely forgotten about who might be parents with kids now.
I agree Agro and the assorted Female Hosts were better than Koch and whoever the other person hosting Sunrise is these days.It is disappoint to see except for the ABC and Channel 11 NOBODY caters for KIDS before they have to go to School during the School Terms or for when it is School Holidays when it comes to starting the day though.
I hate “Today” with a passion but it is by far the lesser of two evils. “Sunrise”, dear god, “Sunrise”. The last time I watched it (for the total of five minutes) it turned a coverage piece for a book on the sinking of HMAS Perth into a panel on “What makes Australia great?” starring respected intellectuals Alex Perry and Vince Soretti.
I also hate the way it shoves the forced friendliness and perkiness down your throat.
And I’d watch ABC Breakfast but ever since she left Lateline Virginia Trioli just looks like she hates life. I can’t blame her, the (fantastic) Leigh Sales replaced her and has almost usurped the show from Tony Jones.
They could make a drinking game based around Kochie (Koshie) from Sunrise. You’d have to drink every time he offers his advice on economic/financial matters or name-drops people working as managers/directors in banks or other money-related institutions.
What! you mean you don’t model your portfolio on Kochie’s market commentary. It would have to be vodka so they couldn’t smell it on you at work.
ninemsn homepage has a video of olivia newton-john saying what she’d do if she were pm. i’m not game to watch it.
Kochie is a tool
Mel is a fool
The Weatherman is small
and Sunrise sucks balls
While bogans watch and drool
I have seen Sunrise a few times while its on the screens at work. The blonde totty has 3 faces. The ‘sad look’ face the ‘quirky story’ face and the ‘this is a funny story’ face .
The other so called presenter has a looped tape voice with the words ‘UnAustralian’ and ‘Good old Aussie’ continually being played
Fluff at its worse
Kochie has basically become a politician – trots out well worn catch phrases that resonate with bogans everywhere to simplify complex issues and drags his family into the picture whenever he wants to score brownie points.
To an extent, we should all be thankful that breakfast TV pays more than Federal politics…
There’s that woman on Surmise, can’t remember her name, the one with the dark hair in long bob cut, who leaves Virginia (Barnaby Joyce? Loopy, Loopy!) Trioli looking positively radiant and full of life.
Whatshername comes across as a right sourpuss whose face reads as if she has something prickly and oversized fairly jammed up her Jackson Pollock, dislodging the poo that her anally retentive persona would not allow her to easily evacute. Maybe she don’t smile much because insomuch as she now lives in the City That Good Taste Forgot (Sydney), she knows that deep down, she’ll be no better than Christie Allen (a Countdown favourite pop star around 1979-80), in that she hails from Bunbury, which any Sandgroper worth their salt knows all too well, is a mecca of mediocrity, a perennial Worst Of Perth topic. (Hell, there’s even a t-shirt for sale with the heading “Perth—The Bunbury Of The North”).
That’d be a headline worth reading: Natalie Barr (that’s who…had to do good ol’ research by Wikipedia!) overdoses on pills, umm, of the Coloxyl laxative type.
“Blonde totty”… you’re not from the North-East are you, pominoz?
No but my wife is from Durham
Ah, OK… I always figured “totty” was a word native to the north-eastern English dialiects. But it’s been a while since I’ve been back to Old Blighty.
Those of us here might say,
why would anyone watch Today?
See, bogans don’t use their brains,
while they eat Nutri-Grain.
Richard Reid is TOTALLY gay!
*round of applause*
Richard Reid is Gay?
Someone has got to pay
Carl Williams is not dead
He can f*ckup Richards head
What do you c*nts have to say?
Please stop.
The Stranger says stop
Shirl and I write limericks he can’t top
We’ll keep going
He’ll keep moaning
Not that we care alot
There once was a man named Simon,
He had a passion for glassings and rhymin’
The Stranger don’t like it,
but Simon says ‘f*ck it,
and I’ll end this limerick with hymen.
Shirl,
That is awesome, thankyou.
You’re most welcome. I got great pleasure out of rhymin’ Simon with hymen.
Errr Thanks I think…….
I can’t think of a body part that rhymes with Shirl.
Shirley / short and curlies?
My girl Shirley
Grabbed The Stranger by the short and curlies
Gave them a tug
Called him a mug
And now The Stranger feels a bit surly
Aww bless. Thanks dude!
( ) ( )
()
:
Leaky cock
Did not work sorry, left justified itself for some reason.
It’s ok. I can use my vivid imagination.
Have you read this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29
If that’s too hard, try this instead: http://www.freewebs.com/limericks/
I love limericks, but yours neither rhyme nor scan. That you defend your malformed limericks is like Dan Quayle insisting on “potatoe”. Bogan pride, you could say.
When composing a brief witty rhyme
It pays to give it some time
Miscounting the words
Is the hallmark of turds
Defending it compounds the crime.
There once was a style called the limerick,
and I think it sucks a big dick.
Confined to five lines,
unimaginative rhymes,
To be sure, it’s a low form of wit.
Gawd… I was at the annual awards/Xmas blowout for the last company I worked for… part of the entertainment was a Kochie & Kevin Rudd impersonator… then we had the real Kochie.
I’m not sure which was worse.
You had James O’Loughlin as MC?
At this risk of sounding ignorant, who’s he?
new inventors host.
with an alarming resemblance to Kochie, only far less glassable.
why not a dedicated news channel for sunrise and devote the mornings for light entertainment or kids shows to start the day on.i might be over the age of 18 but a mix of say good luck charlie and ant farm doubles 6am to 8:30am and something else much more recent to see them to 9am would be a huge improvement.7’s ceo is a moron who obviously does not have kids or any idea what the younger generation want.
I miss the days of cartoons before work.
Could evening gameshows hosted by equally disturbing replicants be included?
Yes, certainly.
Yes.It’s the lack of decent 5:30 to 6pm alternatives unless you have a digital or Pay TV service that is sad.I remember as a kid this time twenty five years ago coming home before the Nine News watching Bugs Bunny Cartoons with Tweety and all the other Characters.Now It’s Eddie Everywhere’s Hot Seat.A Step back in time Yes!!!
Possibly.Bring back Sophie Lee or some other female host for a 21st Century Bugs Bunny as a News Lead In.Anything has to be an improvement over Eddie McGuire and Hot Seat!!.
Franz,
I do hope you were not infering that Eddie has a “Hot Seat” ? OMG
I am referring to that Annoying Hot Seat or as It was known in the old days Millionaire.I miss Bugs Bunny and Tweety Bird in the evenings.
I think Eddie is a bit of a tool …Hmm Maybe that is why some think he has a hot seat ?
he is a tool.there is a facebook page devoted to him called eddie mcguire is a dickhead.millionaire hot seat would be more bearable if it was the likes of ed phillips or james brayshaw as host.
for the most part yes.can’t stand eddie everywhere and that andrew o’keefe.I these days find myself watching if I am at home reruns of Frasier on Channel 11 to avoid such game show filth.I miss the good old days of people who were pleasing to the eye such as Tony Barber,Glenn Ridge,Ed Phillips and Grant Denyer to name but a few who made watching game shows fun.
breaking news: ernie dingo charged with assaulting a kid at a school assembly – http://www.watoday.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/ernie-dingo-charged-with-assault-20100818-12cfa.html
Fark, first he has an open marriage and roots around, now he belts kids? He should run for parliment.
A Dingo bashed my baby!
Sorry.
Shirley , well done:)
Second that viv. Disgraceful Shirley, yet very entertaining.
Hahaha! That’s right up your alley, isn’t it, Viv?
I thought it was funny too… but I’m sick in the head.
Shirl,
E Dingo bashed your baby not A Dingo. Sorry actually I suppose it was both !
Could be a New Zealand Mother yelling it out?
“Oh, shut!! Thit Dungo hut my baby, eh, Gil!?!”
My favourite moment on Sunrise is right at the end – when they look at the Sunrise Family Fridge – with pics sent in of Briannaha and Jaycuhb. Also because I know the horror is ending , at least for another day.
They should merge these two bogan networks (7 & Nein) and form a bogan TV empire. Can you imagine David Koch (pronounced Cock in the country where the name originated) and that annoying tool on Nein together at breakfast. Bogan heaven. How’s my favourite website. Just got back from OS and there are many various types of bogans in the world. Canada has its own unique brand! WOW.
Mezz, I never want to hear such sick suggestions again. We will all pretend that you didn’t put that out there in the world. La la la la…..
Their big egos/heads would not both fit on Camera, so I think we will be safe.
Doesn’t work for me… how else am I supposed to make jokes about “Nine Kampf” in referrence to ACA?
@ Sten
Pissfunny that!
Nein Kampf fire is burning out…
Glad you liked it, Turnips.
How does anyone find the time to watch breakfast television?
With the exception of stay-at-home parents and retirees, shouldn’t you be at work?
Actually, there’s an idea. If we sacked Kochie and his Sunrise team (we all know he doesn’t have anything to do now Kevvie’s not around for them to take turns blowing) perhaps the unemployed would get off the couch.
Or not. They don’t know how to work their massive plasma’s DVD recorder to record Ellen.
Good question – I never watch breakfast TV.
But I also wonder how anyone finds the time to post comments here… as I reluctantly close the web browser and go back to doing “work”…
Its well known that work is what you do between posting comments. Especially true if you have a job in research!
or even better – are a phd student. my research at the moment is online, so it is easy to just have tbl in one tab and my work in another.
breakfast TV IS A WEIRD CONCEPT TO ME.I admit to having watched it for just over a week in 2002 sunrise with kochie and mel just after saved by the bell new class while on holidays on the gold coast.i except for the weather forecast don’t watch any brekkie tv as these days i am usually out of the house and off to work on the bus not long after sunrise or today come on.
The only time in my life I’ve seen large quantities of breakfast/morning television was when my son was a newborn and I was spending endless hours on the couch breastfeeding him. At the time I even toyed with the idea of writing a book about things I learnt watching morning television. The problem was I didn’t learn much at all, except for how full of hate I am capable of being. Oh, and loads of hot celebrity gossip.
Sounds like a fantastic insight into the “workings” of the Bogan mind to me, Shirrley!
Go for it… the Bogues would lap it up, because they’ve already “seen the movie”, so to speak.
Hey, you’re right. I’ll have to wait until next time I have a baby. I KNEW I should have taken notes!
I can see the movie.
Bruce Willis as Kochie
Jennifer Aniston as Mel
Danny Devito as short ass weather dude
Hank Azaria as the gay gossip monger
Methinks I smell an Oscar!
Wilde
I only see it maybe 5 times a year when I’m still drunk from the night before and the yeast from the beer has made me wake up early. I enjoy it for a while in my blissfully dumb and anaesthetised state then I sober up and realise how much how despise the ministry of truth, er, the media.
Can’t believe how much those losers get paid. A f$cken news reader gets like half a mil a year. What a rort. I guess it’s so they can remain looking happy while they spew lies and crap.
It does raise some questions about the lifestyle choices amongst some of our esteemed posters?
ABC 7:02-7:13 am Shaun the Sheep! then off to work.
I’m just glad ABC3 stopped showing The Mr Men Show at 7:10. That used to make me late for work, I’d always get sucked in by the obvious tension between Mr Bump and Little Miss Welsh.
A Lot of us don’t.Shift workers who work from 10pm to 6am aside and evening workers from 4:30pm onwards too There just isn’t enough hours in the day to fit in Breakfast TV before heading to your day job.
most of us are at work or on our way to work when these god awful shows come on.I don’t even bother with them to be honest unless a story of major importance comes on and even then I only have one work day where I start later otherwise there’s no time before leaving home to put the tellie on for this.
When I used to work at coles sunrise was always on in the staffroom. At my local hairdressers sunrise is always on in the salon. Sunrise is also on in my doctors waiting room. Also people who work wierd shifts (nights, evenings) find the time to watch it.
Also don’t be too critical on the unemplyed, I am and love to sit on the coach. I’ve actively been looking for work for two weeks now. Theres no jobs there!
That gives me great hope. I’ve been unemployed for the past three months (living off the redundancy money, not the dole). I’ve got to start looking for work soon, as the money’s running out.
Damn and blast.
Lucky coach?
These shows start at the crack of dawn – I get up at 6am and leave for work at 7.20 – these shows are on by then. Luckily so is ABC breakfast, so I can start the day without rupturing an organ or having an aneurism. And then there is the weekend editions polluting the airwaves too.
i avoid the weekend editions.my weekend start to the day before leaving home is channel 76’s mostly disney shows of all sorts offerings.far better than the dribble that is sunrise or today.
FIONA OF TOORAK
You are probably some forty year old man living in your mother’s basement. You obviously don’t live in Toorak because if you did you would have a job and actually go to work rather than sitting online posting random crap. I enjoy TBL as well, but if you think you are so elitist you’re really only demonstrating another classic sign of the modern bogan
LOL. Why do I need to have a job to live in Toorak?
Fi,
James(not me) is probably suffering from the curse of the working class….work !
*makes chalk mark on board*
LOL. Shush Simon. Let this lesser person have his moment in the sun.
Though I stand guilty of having been stroppy about Fi, it might be helpful for newcomers to have a note on top stating “Anyone else who whines about Fiona of Toorak won’t get published”!.
At least each newbie won’t think they are the first to brilliantly deduce that she is 40/a man/lives in a bogan suburb/collects a centrelink cheque etc. etc.!
LOL. I’m not 40! I’m not a man! I don’t live in a bogan suburb! What is Centrelink?
No. You’ve been “35” for the last 10 years.
LOL. I’ve not even been 30 once yet!
Fi,
I suspect Martin has been 3.5 for the last ten years
Possibly in a time warp with SD , a parrallel kindyverse
So, the 6th Anniversary of your 29th Birthday then?
I’m with you SD.
Please TBL!!
Ha, I think every individual needs to go on their own journey of making peace with FoT. TBL
Thanks TBL, I love the reactions to Fi. Think of Pandora day etc, we need these people.
I’m with you Simon. Besides, the warning note would have to go at the top of EVERY post, because you can always rely on an idiot to post idiotic comments.
That being said, I wouldn’t mind Things Bogans Like #167: Thinking you’re the first person to brilliantly deduce that Fiona of Toorak is 40/a man/lives in a bogan suburb/collects a centrelink cheque etc etc and feeling the need to share that wisdom.
PS I need to read Pandora comments now, don’t I?
PSS Fiona, how do you always remember to type LOL before anything else? Have you ever forgotten to do it? If so, was it traumatic when you realised?
In fairness to the whingers, FoT has toned it down a bit. At one point LOLs ran amok over the page.
In all honesty I enjoy the comments from Fiona’s Fanboy’s more than Fiona’s comments themselves. Feels’ like Ground Hog Day when she comments.
The TBL blog without FoT would be like a Commodore with Chevrolet badges.
*without
(glasses self for making such a stupid typo)
LOL. Is that a compliment?
Of sorts. 😛
Fi,
I think that may be what people call a “back handed compliment”
The thing to be carefull of is that some times there is more back hand then compliment !
I must say Lol too. Since when did the mega rich get rich via work? Funny. They “invest” their inheritances dummy.
Off topic I have discovered other people also want to see twilight vampire C sections that you wont see in the cinema and thus have made a video that covers all plot points in under two minutes.
http://jezebel.com/5615207/see-the-important-parts-of-breaking-dawn-before-it-hits-theaters
“the male robot, pretending to be jovial, is actually plotting the destruction of the universe.”
You hit the nail fair square on the fucking head there TBL. To look into the eyes of KS is to look into the dark obsidian eyes of Satan himself. I can only imagine the depths of his rage-filled tantrums when the camera is switched off.
Every time I look at KFS I want to drive a stake into its cold dead heart.
Karl Stuffinupalot. I dearly wish that he’d go on every morning in somewhat “tired and emotional” state, as he did once after some gala do, that channels Molly Meldrum during the 100th episode of Countdown.
At least Meldrum has some personality, in spite of his umming-and-erring, unlike the KFS-1 android.
nine were this close when the big bang theory started tanking big time as reruns getting kfs and leila mckinnon to host a news chat show similar to what we have in the daytime with ellen but for evening viewers.it would have been interesting to see how it would have turned out like had it made production.one hour of news then something like that given nine in those days needed something fresh and new urgently.
because channel 7 isn’t bogan enough: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/seven-targets-men-with-third-digital-channel-20100819-12ix1.html
7mate? really?
This, I cannot wait for.
7mate? you have got to be joking
Do people still say ‘mate’ in friendly way? I was under the impression that now it is only used condescendingly
‘Good one, maaate’
Mind you, I haven’t left Melbourne’s zone 1 for three years unless on an international flight so what would I know *guffaw*
Might have been more interesting if they had a 7MonM in line with the modern woman’s needs:
http://gawker.com/5615899/why-are-straight-women-so-obsessed-with-gay-sex
First tho SATC3 would need to incorporate it so trendy femmebogues could have a night in of MonM.
SATC=Winners and Losers for Middle Aged people
It’s Not.Alright I find their Police Shows Bogan but definetly not How I met your Mother,American Dad and Family Guy.
it’s been ages since I last watched anything on 7 mate.they played musical chairs with what time family guy is on every week meaning due to my early starts the following day assuming it’s shown on either a tuesday or thursday night i miss out and the rest of it leaves a lot to be desired.
7 maaaaaaaate, christ. So no more HD tv on seven unless it features beer and breasts?
tits and violence is my guess.
Always been curious as to why 7 & 9 need to have their own sodomite-in-residence. Does being rammed up the chuff give you some special insight into the entertainment industry?
Mel is hard to hate, in as much as a Labrador is hard to hate. Dumb, blonde and (I suspect) slobbery, but ultimately friendly. I believe that is her appeal to the Bogan.
David Kosh gives me the runs.
This is Extremely Brilliant
Online Television
Richard Wilkins needs to stop drinking virgins blood and start ageing like the rest of us.
I saw him once (on the odd occasion I watch) and thought he has a head that looks like he’s been chasing parked busses!
What I want to know is why the male robot on Channel 9 feels the need to yell all the time?
It gets worse.Did you know Nine were planning on putting on a 7pm News/Chat Show with the aforementioned Karl and Leila McKinnon to fix their woes at that hour.If it does go ahead It will be nothing more than the same crap that is fed to us but on a thirty minute scale as they show in the Mornings.
And it get’s worse.The thirty minutes between 8:30 and 9am Nine used to devote as programming for the mums with small children with Humphrey and HI 5 is now wasted on the Today Show.
Yes, they’ve dressed the female bogans to look like the stepford wives. Funny though the stepford robots were smarter and prettier. I wonder why the people back stage havent noticed the robotic bogan malfunctioning. The male one pretends to cough while he is swearing. Warning warning!! His wiring is burnt out. Or do all the bogans find that funny. West world look out. The robots are all malfunctioning.
I actually found this site by searching the web for opinions on Australian breakfast television (great site, by the way). Put simply – it is appalling. The quality across all channels is woeful, but particularly Channel 9, whose offering has to be the most dumbed-down, one-dimensional, patronising television show I have ever had the misfortune of viewing . By contrast, British breakfast television is fairly watchable, certainly the Beeb. ABC, which one would assume would offer a reasonably highbrow production offers nothing of the sort, and simply seems to pander to the lowest common denominator and emulate the lowbrow rubbish on the other channels only with a fraction more depth, but in the most uncomfortable and wooden manner possible. The only thing worse than Australian breakfast television is breakfast radio.
Awful, awful, awful.
Breakfast Radio depending on what station is alright.I am from Adelaide and It’s Mix 102.3 with Jodie and Soda that start the day for me.A girl who I went to school with way back in the eighties is a friend of Miss Oddy.