Bogan Bribe Watch – August 13th

13 08 2010

Hehehe…’Rooty’

When it was announced that AFFPM (aka the Powerfox) was not going toe-to-toe with Mr Rabbit in a town-hall setting in front of 200 undecided decided voters in Rooty Hill, the bogan promptly forgot everything it heard prior to ‘Rooty Hill’. Then paused. Then giggled involuntarily.

More specifically, the Rooty Hill RSL was the venue for this epic non-encounter between our putative and prospective leaders. This meek little cul-de-sac stood as a testament to the crippling land shortages faced by bogans across Sydney’s west, while presumptuous and uppity illegal boat people swamp their native territory; clogging up roads, taking jobs and occupying what precious little land is available about 380kms outside of the CBD of our largest city.

This modest testament to the bogan’s legitimate desire to congregate has 40,000 members, a gym, a power station, a 4-star hotel, an AMF Bowling and M9 Laser Skirmish centre, two restaurants, two cafes, a sports bar, a youth club, child minding and a function centre. And 800 pokie machines. Oh, and it is agitating to have its own post code. Rooty Hill bogans, it seems, are a special kind of bogan; the inherent sense of entitlement extends to demanding a means of sending mail to a place where nobody actually lives.

Bogans outside of Rooty Hill, however, simply cannot move beyond two facts. One, that there is a place called Rooty Hill, and two, that Kevin Rudd, the leader they couldn’t stand only two months earlier, was ‘knifed’ by their new leader, AFFPM. At Rooty Hill, St Kevin was consistently referred to in the reverential whisper of the martyred leader, as bogans took umbrage, still, that the leader that they did not directly elect was deposed for another leader whom they did not directly elect. Kind of like when Anthony Callea (not gay at the time) was usurped from his rightful ‘The Prayer’-driven place as the bogan’s Idol™ by that fat chick.

Then, as a delightful postscript, Mark Latham reared his fat head. On behalf of the bogan, Latham’s peculiar passive/aggressive form of aggression was on display for all to see. Little did Tony Abbott realise that had he called on his pugilistic past and just decked the prick, he was careering towards a bogan-inspired election victory.

Both parties, in this midst of all of this bogan politics, also finally decided to start bribing bogans. Foremost among these was the Powerfox’s wonderfully targeted bogan bribe, offering to effectively fund the construction of a rail link between Parramatta and a place that the bogan didn’t want to go to that badly. The bogan was outraged, as this was clearly money that would be better spent on baby bonuses and freeways.

ALP Score: 4 Rooties out of 10. (Rooty)

PS – check out Channel 9’s promo for Underbelly 4 election night coverage.


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134 responses

13 08 2010
Shirley M

Oh I saw that ad last night and I simultaneously did a little bit of wee in my pants and a little bit of vomit in my mouth.

13 08 2010
Robbie

hahaha…you always make me LOL Shirley 🙂

13 08 2010
Antosha

LOL Shirley !!!

Looks like 9 took a promo for last year’s NRL grand final and edited in some soundbytes of the ginger ninja.

1 election promo shot in less time than it takes to renew Mark Latham’s ADHD prescription.

13 08 2010
vivisection

Pause the promo at 28 secs and see the bogan family -“Breahannity wore the orange wig – farkin classic!”

13 08 2010
Shirley M

I like the ‘I’ve got Channel 9 on my to do list’ soundbyte. What a slut!

13 08 2010
Shirley M

Oh, and Mark Latham. There’s a man with his finger on the pulse.

13 08 2010
vivisection

What is going on with him, Bi-Polar? BPD? Something isn’t quite in balance with him.

13 08 2010
Shirley M

My diagnosis is that he has narcissistic personality disorder. And is also a tosser.

13 08 2010
vivisection

Ah, the old affliction, Tosseritis.

13 08 2010
Tombarina

Finger on the pulse?

Head up his ar$e, you mean.

They euthanase dogs that are less mad than him.

13 08 2010
martin

I think he’s funny. He’s like what John McEnroe is to tennis, like what Anthony Mundine is to boxing.

13 08 2010
Tone

Methinks this is part of Mark Latham’s career plan to become a talkback nutbag. After all, Alan Jones can’t keep broadcasting forever.

13 08 2010
pb

not sure about that comparison. as much as mundine and mcenroe can be complete foot-in-mouth morons, i think they’re at least genuine. latham, on the other hand, i think just craves attention.

13 08 2010
martin

Well maybe I’m giving him too much credit but I think he wants to get the message across about how much both parties suck balls. I guess we’ll know for sure what he’s about if one is prepared to watch 60 minutes on Sunday and whether or not channel nein allows freedom of speech which I doubt.

13 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Latham is the drunk in the pub at midnight giving a witless opinion about some dirge with spit dribbling and a funny stain on his pants. Except it’s broad daylight and he’s not drunk.

I reckon Nein hoisted the idea of him fronting 60M for the controversy and the publicity… and are now wondering wtf to do. Bit like that tit in Darwin who jumped into the croc pen, tried to ride one of the bastards and got bitten. Nein are just riding the croc.

The knob who’s idea it was has probably been relegated to the broom closet as we speak.

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I hope it was Eddies idea, I really do.

13 08 2010
vivisection

Latham’s missing form the crack team of “Journalists” in the election promo isn’t he? Its not fair, he’s every bit as good as Karl and Tracey.

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Was Richard Reid on the Promo? He is their most in depth reporter. Actually that’s true, sad huh.

13 08 2010
vivisection

He’s busy doing humanitarian work – entertaining losers while their houses are ruined, I mean renovated, by a crack team of bogans armed with chipboard, waterfeatures, bedroom stencils and roll out balinese fencing materials.

13 08 2010
Antosha

Will Wilkins make an appearance?

Presumably someone would have to brief him beforehand as to what a general election was, and what the names and boxes all mean.

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That Nein ad is a pisstake surely. Chaser boys, gruen, someone has planted this. It starts like Masterchef and spirals downward from there.

13 08 2010
Kimba

I was about to say the same thing myself. I hold grave fears for this country if the bogans actually swallow this tripe.

13 08 2010
lol-plates

That ad makes me sad. But I wish Latham was still around, it’s always nice to have someone unstable on in politics.
Bogans would love him he punched a taxi driver…taking it to the immigrants that take our jobs. Bless his cotton socks!

Rooty hill RSL sounds like hell. Youth clubs in a pub? Don’t get me started on childcare facilities near gambling. I can understand some of the other ancillary things at an RSL “cafe” and “restaurants”. The place looks like a supermax prison from the States.

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

We’ve still got Bob Katter!

13 08 2010
pb

and then john elliot likes to come out of the woodwork and ramble like the crazy great uncle everyone wishes was mute.

13 08 2010
Bag O'Turnips

And of course, WA has our very own crazy uncle nutjob par excellence, Wilson “Ironbar” Tuckey; no doubt the fine burghers and wheat cockies of the Federal Division of O’Connor will re-elect him, as they’ve been inexplicably doing since 1980.

I think pretty much everyone else, including some fellow Wiberwal MHRs, would wish that this bothersome blight upon humanity with the face of a bashed crab would be mute too. Or better still, retire to his cruise to senescence, no doubt already well underway.

His wilful ignorance and incessantly rambunctious bleating ranks him highly amongst the bogan cognoscenti, undoubtedly.

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

And of course Uncle Jeff Kennett. You can rely on him for a good rant.

13 08 2010
Robbie

you obviously haven’t seen Penrith Panthers…it’s just 15 minutes drive from the hole that is Rooty Hill RSL….Penrith Panthers is in a whole realm of it’s own on the bogometer

13 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

That’s a very special place. If they had their own postcode, maybe next step is their own statedom… and then countrydom… which we could invade. Or better yet, call them the Pacific Solution and ship all the illegals over there.

The perfect solution really; income for the countries of Rooty Hill and Penrith Panthers, employment for locals, prisons already on tap. And negation of the boat topic for the rest of us.

Sorted. Next.

13 08 2010
pb

you’re a thinker, chairman. i like your style.

13 08 2010
Antosha

I can see a film opportunity..

A plane carrying the Ginger Ninja crash lands within the sealed off territory of Rooty Hill RSL and Penal Colony. Only one man can save her.

Enrter KRudd, complete with miniture explosive chip planted in his brain… being forced to infiltrate the bogan stronghold, find and rescue AFFPM, then escape to relative safety of the outside world…

Of would Tony Rabbit make a better super hero?

13 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

snorts of laughter!

13 08 2010
Jim Jams

You’re unaustralian if you don’t laugh at ‘Rooty Hill’.

Simple.

13 08 2010
martin

+1. Rooty Hill is the epitome of the westy bogan suburb.

13 08 2010
martin

You would never even have to go there or have even heard of it or know where it is and you’d know it’d be shit. So it’s funny.

13 08 2010
Tombarina

Never been there, but I’ve been tittering at the name since I first heard of it as a kiddie of about 10.

ROOTY Hill! *titter*

Phuket! *tee hee*

Whakatane!!! *mirthful snigger*

13 08 2010
vivisection

Bangkok , hurrumph hurrumph

13 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Waiwhakamucow
arf
(‘Wh’ is pronounced ‘f’ in NZ.)

13 08 2010
Tombarina

Hilarious! The Nein ad is like a promo for that guaranteed-to-be-shite new action flick, The Expendables.

Instead of Arnie, Stallone, Arnie, Jet Li, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Bruno Willis, et al we have Laurie, Karl, Lisa, Tracey, Peter and Michael. Same-same – just with better hair, fewer muscles, and comparable vacuity.

13 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Nah the Nein marketing folk have just caught up with latest techniques…

Titles coming into shot (Star Wars 1977) Pumped up Carmina Burana-esque audio (LOTR 2001). Seductive come-hither from the chicks (Marilyn Monroe circa 1950).

Nice work boys. Now go and give each other a smacking.

13 08 2010
Grass Mud Horse

There’s obvious editing of the audio – please tell me it’s a pisstake

13 08 2010
Miss Dahl

Get-togethers such as this is just one of the necessary evils to be endured by prospective PM’s. As ever. it did nothing but bring out the one-issue zealots, who then get a chance for their 15 seconds of fame on radio and TV.

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Viv,

Will Torn assunder make his stage debut at Rooty hill?

13 08 2010
vivisection

Torn Assunder Does Rooty Hill RSL – live show called “Pokies Here”-One show only – Bring Nanna!

13 08 2010
vivisection

Torn Assunder will have his pet donkey on stage – Ass gags galore:

“oooh, mah Ass is so hungry, it’s braying…”

“Mah Ass is so tired from the long trip to Rooty Hill it needs to put it’s legs up…”

“On the way here tonight a strange man slapped my Ass”

13 08 2010
pb

please make it a talking donkey – you must have your ass talking to you.

13 08 2010
vivisection

“The things I need to do to keep my Ass quiet….”

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Viv ,
Don’t let it start “horseing ’round “

13 08 2010
vivisection

“Mah Ass went to the rodeo and was ridden by every cowboy, two clowns and sheep dog….”

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Ah, the sheep dogs, that explains why it went “Barking Mad”

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Don’t leave your pussy out Viv. Tomba will get annoyed with you.

I’ve been fondling mah pussy all night and my ass is quite jealous.

Is your ass called Pernickety?

13 08 2010
vivisection

Mah Ass is called Braaaydohn.

13 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Torn Assunder and Roger MeWell in ‘Quick, pull my lever and fill my Slot’
Book your Father’s Day table now and fill Dad with delight all day long.

13 08 2010
vivisection

Guest starring Phil McCrackin !!

13 08 2010
Tombarina

What about the Irish lads? William FitzPatrick and Patrick FitzWilliam?

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

And featuring direct from Asia – Onelong Dong and his wife Lickma

13 08 2010
Shirley M

Not Onelong Dong and Gai Ping Hol?

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Of course the daughter Gai will be with her parents. Along with the newborn little Dong.

13 08 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Too hard to choose between the leaders. Dick or Cunt? And no, gentle reader this is not referring to their respective genders. No different in Britain, Japan or the United States where the differences between parties are so wafer-thin that people will vote with a coin toss. Thus, the hung parliaments all over the Western world.

13 08 2010
Shirley M

You need to vote 1 cock.
http://twitpic.com/23vbyr

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
Then we would have a “right cock up”

13 08 2010
Shirley M

Don’t we already?

13 08 2010
Bag O'Turnips

At least we might get a well-hung parliament of fools, even if the prostate is a bit leaky.

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Foney is so far right his idea of a well hung parliament my involve a lot of nooses

13 08 2010
Shirley M

You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

13 08 2010
martin

You could vote for an independant. I don’t understand why people wouldn’t if they hate both parties. There was a bogan woman on the SBS show Insight the other day saying she was going to vote for Family First because she hated both parties. I’m certainly not advocating doing that!

13 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

No, no, no. Two words for you … Brian Harradine

The one-issue knobs are, by and large, resentful, insecure, fringe-dwelling peewees who then make a decision based on the bribes the big two offer.
Two more words for you… Shooters Party. The nonsense these clods are getting away with in NSW from the piss-weak schlubs in power is breathtaking in its cynicism.

13 08 2010
Dgusten

As I mentioned the other day, have a look at policies of the Secular Party – if you find yourself nodding when you read things on this blog you’ll probably find yourself agreeing with their policies. They’re at the very least multi-issue knobs.
Unfortunately, they only have candidates in a few lower house seats. But there are candidates for every states’ Senate spots.

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Dgusten,
Problems here are one: voting for minority parties is esentially a waste of vote ast the best and a vote enabling some minor party or group of minor parties and/or independents to controll the senate or worse still the House of Reps.
Asure recipie for unstable Government.
Look to Italy to see what a dogs breakfst a gazillion small parties and independents do .
A strong two party system has given us stability that other countries would be proud of. Its not perfect by a long shot but think carefully before advocating measure that could lead to alternatives l. If you want Bob Brown to run the country though I guess it is your vote after all.

13 08 2010
Benny Hill

True dat, however bogans vote for the person and not the policy.

I’m still deciding what picture to draw on my ballot paper. Then again I might blow my nose with it, fold it in half then open in the hope it looks like a butterfly.

13 08 2010
pb

ooh, a rorschach test for the vote counters!

13 08 2010
Dgusten

I think it’s much better when minor parties do have the balance of power in the Senate. Look at Howard’s last term when he controlled both houses and passed WorkChoices with zero scrutiny (despite running into hundreds of pages, the Act was debated for less time than the Do Not Call Register Act, which had something like 90% public support!).

Sure, the Senate sometimes gives too much power to idiots like Harradine and Fielding, but that’s better that a government with total control. The Democrats wielded their power quite well prior to f#cking themselves over (some say it was voting for the GST, but they did pretty well in the following election. I reckon it was ditching Natasha that destroyed them). Anyway, it’s likely that after this election that the Greens will hold the balance of power and I see them using it fairly wisely. It in no way results in Bob Brown “running the country”.

In the House of Reps, it’s not a wasted vote either – your preferences will (usually) go to Labor or Liberal. So how is voting for a different party before them a waste? Meanwhile, voting a minor party assists them in getting public funding at future elections as well as sending a message to the major parties that they suck.

Minor parties and independents very rarely win lower house seats, so I’m not too worried about them gaining power and turning us into Italy. But I do note that Victoria had a hung Parliament for Steve Bracks’ first term, with 3 independents helping give Labor power – the state didn’t fall apart, and I doubt we would federally either. Without looking into it, I suggest that our electoral system is a bit different to Italy (having said that, if Abott wins, we’re onto our 4th PM in 3 years).

Don’t get sucked into the myth that voting for minor parties is dangerous or a waste. It’s bullsh!t, and us non-bogues shouldn’t fall for such simplistic scaremongering.

14 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

**Round of Applause**

16 08 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Far less of a chance the Greens doing anything worse; in fact, I’d safely venture that they’d do much better, if given half a chance, if they weren’t subjugated to the moronic horse-trading that the major parties impose on them. That’s what why we end up with camels of legislation (for those who don’t understand my metaphor, it pertains to the saying that a camel is a horse designed by committee).

But aside from this asinine manoeuvring, the Greens are about the only party that have a clear eye on the future and a sustainable one, so far as I can tell: Labored are about unquestioningly protecting the status quo, as are the Wiberwals, albeit with a disturbing tendency to go back to the future with a past that never was, only embracing change if their haute core constituency can jam their dicks in the till (e.g. why they promote uranium mining and nuclear energy=shedloads of moolah, buggered be the consequences).

Shove appeasing to the bogans, although their sheer volume necessitates that they be pandered to. No bloody wonder why they really don’t have to try to attain more than they rightfully deserve.

As long as these philistines are shielded from the consequences of their profligacy, mediocrity will always be the order of the day.

In Wait Awhile (WA) news, there is a rather pernicious piece of dogwhistling turd fouling the airways of the radio stations who accept their money for advertising airtime, about the idea that WA is the cash cow that the ALP has milked upon for their alleged follies in spending and thrusting indebtedness unto the nation. Pah! What Fony Rabbit et al forget to realise that that stimulus was a firm example of the REAL ACTION that they are rabbiting rabidly on about: unfortunately, if you act so fast, it is almost always that there’s going to be some spiv taking a free ride on the gravy train. And that those in the building trades working for small firms—of whom are often inclined to vote for the Wiberwals—would profit to never forget that without this expeditious stimulus (right, wrong or otherwise, itself another discussion of itself), they’d be at a loose end for work, as a consequence of housing drying up due to housing being subject to the scabby and scrofulous speculation and subsequently priced beyond the means of many.

Better get the fire extinguisher and douse me before I become a solitary inferno of mute rage towards these fücknuckles and the pollies who represent them! WHOOOSH! WHOOOOSH!

13 08 2010
pb

this site is pretty good in matching your opinions to parties’ politicies: http://trog.qgl.org/voteomatic/

13 08 2010
martin

Shit. I am a complete libtard. I got the most matches with the Socialist Alliance and then the Greens. Not sure that site works too well. I´m a complete bastard on some issues, for instance Iḿ pro nuclear power. And Iḿ for the abolition of the Family Court because I think men get it in the arse with divorce.

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Martin, oof course you are right on nuke power, we should also be processinf the yellow cake into fuel rods for the rest of the world supply on a use and exchange basis. that way we keep controll of the use of the fuel and we make money on the value added ,the reprocessing and the waste disposal. keep australia in money for yonks and yonks.

Re the family court.
Could be worse, could go back to the adversarial method and the guy only get it up the ass if they miss two turns and go to goal.!

13 08 2010
martin

Yeah see. Iḿ so smart I know all this and Iḿ not even an engineer nor do I even take much of an interest in it. All I know is dont believe libtards or neo cons and try and think for yourself.

Itś the vibe, itś mabo.

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Martin,
Great join my team,? Or I join yours?

13 08 2010
martin

I dunno whatś your team? My team is the Stable Population Party of Australia. Iḿ a lackey. You sound like you would be a good minister for something engineering related if youŕe bored and would like to come out of retirement and completely surrender your elder years to work and stress. Or you could just be a lackey like me.

I´m a liveried manservant according to dictionary.com, how about that.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lackey

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lackey

14 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Martin, I think you need to change your label

Martin – Libtard Lackey

Kind of ironic in an Alanis kind of way.

13 08 2010
urbanreverie

I think you’re a bit more of a libtard than you sometimes let on, Martin. 😉

I got Socialist Alliance too on that quiz, which shocked me a bit. I’ll start voting for the SA when they stop being apologists for regimes with clear human rights deficiencies.

13 08 2010
martin

Maybe Iḿ a closet libtard and I should have a coming out party, I should have a cry when I tell my parents. I think Iḿ a democratic socialist which to me means half each way.

13 08 2010
pb

politically bisexual?

14 08 2010
SD

As a liveried manservant, surely you are best off in Fi’s ancestral manse Martin?! And voting as per the mistress!

14 08 2010
martin

Haha. If she paid me enough, sure. 😀

14 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Marty

I knew it!!
The abolition of the Family Court on the principle that men get it in the arse in divorce? I know for a fact its not just men who get F@cked over in divorce. I would support you in this if you made it not about the sex of the people getting done over but that it is happening at all. And what would you replace it with?

14 08 2010
martin

Yeah that’s true Pinky. I dunno what I’d replace it with. Pinky court? Fancy being a judge?

15 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Marty

For sure!! But I don’t really do wigs.

15 08 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
You don’t do wiggs. What about Tory’s

15 08 2010
James Hunter

Tory’s =Tories

15 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

HAHAHA I hardly see the difference, bit like Liberal and Labor. pfft.

13 08 2010
SD

Is this election very boring or is it just me? I came to Oz sometime before the last election and that election seemed far far more interesting. And post election I had random people walking up and chatting to me after KRudd’s stolen generation speech. Which was nice.

13 08 2010
Benny Hill

No, it’s not just you. I’d rather that mean looking bitch Julie Bishop than Tony.

Question for ya’s. Would you rather Tony in his speedo’s or Julia in a ‘kini?

13 08 2010
vivisection

I’d rather lose a leg than see either.

13 08 2010
SD

I think Tony has already obliged and I don’t need to know if Julia Gulia is red down under.

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Julie in the kiney , shes better hung then foney.

14 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

14 08 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
Good to see you back and in good form !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

15 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

Good to be back. 😀

13 08 2010
martin

Yes it is boring because in the last election people actually believed Rudd was a good guy. So there was a black and white/good vs evil element.

13 08 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

People believed Rudd was a good guy? God bogans are gullible.

13 08 2010
Dgusten

He wasn’t John Howard, which I think was good enough to make even the non-bogues gullible by 2007.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. Except bogans.

13 08 2010
martin

The Liberals are certainly counting on that. ¨Stop the boats¨ times ten million. Theyŕe still relying on Howardś trick. I think even the bogans are aware of it.

13 08 2010
Will S

Their latest boats-focused ad makes me rage so hard

14 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Me too Will. It’s disgusting!!!

13 08 2010
Dgusten

I reckon it started boring, but then it spiralled downwards into look an embarrassingly-pathetic-watch-through-you’re-fingers-because-its-oh-so-unispiring-sh!te-that-you-can’t-look-directly-at-it mess.

13 08 2010
Benny Hill

I wonder if there’s a minute’s silence at Rooty Hill.

13 08 2010
vivisection

It’s very boring – when all we hear is pre-programmed spin and tightly controlled word trickery it makes it for a non-event really. If Mark Latham is the only “point of interest”, we are f#cked.

13 08 2010
Shirley M

Not only boring, but also infuriating. What a combination!

13 08 2010
Chairman Miaow

Q&A provides the only real relief.

13 08 2010
JJ

9 sexing up the election for bogans, classic.

13 08 2010
Dgusten

Do reckon there’ll be any tits out for the boys?

14 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

13 08 2010
James Hunter

What I found disapointing about the Rooty Hill Root a Boot Jackle pack was Sky Television’s Commercial Greed overcomming Public Interest andComercial Responsibility(sic) .Why the hell did they not allow live feed to the other channesl of the event ? By contrast ABC allowed live feed from it’s exclusive “The Great Debate”
Murdoch once again should hang his head or let some one else do it for him !

13 08 2010
Antosha

ALAS indeed Mr Hunter…

I shall be travelling in The Reich on election day.. so will have to log onto the net to see who runs my native land come Sunday.

And very annoyed I will be missing out on watching big Richo! He is the best part about election coverage!

13 08 2010
aw

Shocked!!! that TBL hasn’t done up a post on the collapse of Ed Hardy. What will bogans wear now? Will they have to fly to Phuket to satisfy their style needs?

Friday I got Monday on my mind. TBL

13 08 2010
Benny Hill

They have made mention of it in the Christian Audigier post, see;

https://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2009/10/28/12-christian-audigier/

13 08 2010
Dgusten

I think we’ll either need Jetstar or Thai market vendors to enter insolvency before we see the last of Ed

13 08 2010
urbanreverie

Hmm, I have a nice little Rooty Hill bogan anecdote of my own …

When my brother was 15 and was the most obnoxious delinquent bogan this side of Strathfield Station (as a matter of fact, he still is!), and our parents despite exercising a reasonable standard of discipline could no longer control or tolerate him – along came our saintly relatives who lived in the Rooty Hill area, who offered to take my brother under their tutelage and “knock some sense into him”. My parents agreed, and immediately sank to their knees, tears of gratitude streaming down their cheeks, proclaiming to all within earshot the everlasting mercies of the Almighty Lord.

For six months, all was bliss in the Reverie household. Until one day came the dreaded phone call – my brother was no longer welcome at our relatives, could we drive for an hour to their place to come pick him up? And there we found our relatives – husband in a strait jacket in a rocking chair staring silently into space; wife prematurely grey and shivering and saying “T-t-t-take him back! C-c-can’t take any m-m-more!”; children permanently corrupted.

And now that my brother was back, for several weeks I had to put up with his constant boasting of “shoulda seen all the faggots I bashed” and “wouldn’t believe all the bitches I rooted”, the latter complete with descriptions of the romantic locales – stormwater drains, picnic shelters in council parks, school grounds after hours, the toilets at Rooty Hill Station, the loading dock of the Big W.

After a while, I got rather annoyed at all this boasting – annoyance compounded with incredulity, as I still find it difficult to believe that any woman could think so repulsive a creature attractive. (I didn’t realise at the time just how low the standards of outer-suburban boguettes can often be!) And one day, I snapped.

“Oh yes! You’re the Plumpton Pumper! The Mount Druitt Maiden Mounter! The Glendenning Getter of Girls! The Blacktown Bonker! The Don Juan of Doonside! You are the … Roly-Poly Rooty Hill Rooter!”

He didn’t get angry. He didn’t thump me one. Instead, my brother took it as a compliment. He actually thought I was praising him for his womanising prowess. His boganic IQ is so low, he didn’t even cotton onto the fact that I was taking the piss out of him!

I do occasionally wonder if bogans who stray onto TBL don’t realise that this site is picking on them and is not a panegyric to maxtreme bogan awesomeness.

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Urban,
Well . When I was a lad all thos years ago, Blacktown Doonside and Rooty Hill were all semi rural to rural . I went to Doonside Primary School when it was a three teacher school !
Families were all either farmers kids or store keepers kids , pretty much. Bogans were a bit thin on the ground, at least in my child hood memories.

These days I doubu a group of Bikies wearing their colours would feel safe walking the streets late at night.

Serious shit though. What became of this god awful bro of yours? is he attending the governments pleasure someplace appropriate or is he out bashing taxi drivers and glassing carnts ?

13 08 2010
pb

there are definitely bogans who don’t get this site is mocking them – one of the most recent comments on the ‘what is a bogan today?’ page, for example.

14 08 2010
SD

UR, much enjoyed that piece – nice piece of writing!

14 08 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Urban

HAHAHAHAHA

13 08 2010
Miss Dahl

Don’t be silly, urbanreverie – there are no maidens in Mt Druitt!

13 08 2010
James Hunter

Mis D,
not only that but Jeasus Christ was not born at Mt Druitt either. They could not find three wise men or a virgin …

14 08 2010
PD

Oh no, what will this mean for the Bogans?

http://www.news.com.au/business/ed-hardy-operations-calls-in-voluntary-administrators/story-e6frfm1i-1225903914012

Help TBL, what’s going on, surely this can’t be true…

14 08 2010
SD

About the 200th person to inform us of Ed Hardy Aust.’s demise!!!!!

14 08 2010
James Hunter

SD
I’m thinking , way more than that ! Just shows how few people read all the posts.

16 08 2010
Sibyl Ince

WTF TBL? “Once you go black you never go back” ?

Hate it – hate it lotsly, even though I don’t read it muchly. Format screwed, text too small, orange-on-black is nauseating (wtf is your colour consultant?). What the hell were you thinking? You fucked up.

Take a valium and read today’s post. TBL

16 08 2010
Shirley M

I like it. And my sense of style is awesome.

16 08 2010
Sibyl Ince

“my sense of style is awesome”

This from an Australian.

16 08 2010
Shirley M

“blows chunks”

This from an… oh yeah right. Carry on.

16 08 2010
Sibyl Ince

Done – and still it blows chunks. Is it a new trend to have comments displaying as one word per line?

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