Bogan Bribe Watch – July 15th

16 07 2010

The bogan has spent the week carefully analysing its horoscope, footy fixture, and navel lint. As a result, it knows with utmost certainty the precise date that the Federal election will be announced and conducted. This is not from any awareness or political savvy, but the ability to regurgitate page two of the Herald Sun. Ignore the bogan. Moving right along…

Moving Forward

The bogan is moving on up. Steppin’out. Possessing a deficient regret gland and an absent self-assessment lobe, the bogan doesn’t look backwards. And unlike many grazing quadrupeds with side-mounted eyes, the bogan looks forward. The powerfox knows this, and is acutely aware herself of the imperative to move in a forwardly direction. Because while the bogan may refer in passing to existing policy or historical precedent, it is really only concerned with what the government is going to give it next year. And low interest rates. Thus, upon whisking KRudd from stage right with a particularly long walking stick, various members of the caucus (referred to by Liberal-leaning bogans as ‘factional warlords’, implying Vin Diesel-esque levels of vascularity,) decided that they needed a better catchphrase than ‘programmatic specificity’.

Thus, the powerfox and the government decided ‘Move Forward’ was a phrase that could deliver optimum bogan traction. She deployed this during her speech at the Lowy Institute, called ‘Moving Australia Forward’, saying “Australia is a country that wants to move forward”.  This can be interpreted as “The ALP does not want to be scrutinised for anything that is has or has not done since it was elected in 2007”. While the bogan insists on not being responsible for anything that it did in the past, it is quite happy to retain ancient grudges for things that were inflicted upon it, so Julia is attempting to distract the bogan by sprinkling glittery clichés across the horizon. With the ALP at the wheel, forward-moving bogans can be reassured that Australia will be steered firmly in the direction of forward.

This is bound to cause voluminous talk about just how far forward things will be moving, and the many bogan-friendly things located directly forward from here. Like most things said during elections, the bogan understands this to mean that it will get something from the government soon. Despite its incessant, whining insistence that it wants the country to be debt free, and the fact that it owes Harvey Norman $16,000 for a TV that only fits in the formal dining area. Perhaps, the bogan muses, the government could take a leaf out of the bogan book, and just use its Westpac credit card to pay off its Commonwealth Bank credit card. Maybe this is why the bogan expects the government to deliver budget surpluses, and also pay the baby bonus, allow negative gearing, keep coughing up the first homeowners’ grant, offer a tax rebate on school uniforms and books, and reduce the crippling and unjust tax on billionaire miners. This election, the bogan is looking forward to moving forward, and the powerfox is at least one step ahead of it.


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154 responses

16 07 2010
Glass 'em all

Thank you for nailing my No.1 pet hate to the mast – the overuse of the meaningless “moving forward” by nearly every talking head, spokesperson and carpet salesman with access to a microphone.

16 07 2010
James Hunter

TBL, come on, “The fact that it owes Harvey Norman $16,000 for a TV that only fits in the formal dining room”

A bogan with a “formal dining room” ??

Fiona has a formal dining room, as one would expect but a real bogan even if the concept of a formsl dining room was within their grasp would likely consist of been bags on which to eat home delivery pizza and a flokarti rug to catch the beer spills.

https://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2010/01/13/63-formal-living-areas/ TBL

16 07 2010
miss dahl

The real bogan would have to have a tiled formal dining room – it would only ever need hosing down after a particularly social night where the evening’s centrepiece is a beer keg!

16 07 2010
pb

see, this is why i like you, miss dahl. you’re a thinker.

16 07 2010
Mick

If Julia is ‘moving forward’ why does she look like she should be walking across a pedestrian crossing on Abbey Road in 1969?

16 07 2010
James Hunter

Mick,
What seems to have eluded tha masses is that we can only” move forward.” Unless we have some help from “Doctor Who” .

In terms of philosophies maybe Fony Rabbit would move us backward ?

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I don’t know JH. Queensland seems to be successfully devolving at a startling rate.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si

Devolution must be a faster process than evolution. 😉 Which is a good thing really because at may be the Bogan will wipe Itself out. 😀

16 07 2010
pominoz

Makes a change from the Rudd mantra of ‘working families’ and ‘ordinary Australians’. Although ‘fair go’ still seems in use. I am yet to hear Un-Australian and battlers (although i think that was Howards mantra)

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

It’s going to be interesting watching the powerfox (love it) evolve her polli speak. She will gradually learn to take a long time to say nothing and trot out a few favourite cliches. Something involving hope for the future i’m guessing.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si

She loves to say “I’m doing everything I can for…(insert bogan cause)

16 07 2010
martin

Maybe she’ll throw a 2020 forum for the libtards. Maybe a 2025 forum. It will be attended by libtard daaarrrlings such as Cate Blanchett.

Ohhhh, I do like the theatre.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Don’t forget Bono. No show can address serious issues without him.

16 07 2010
martin

What about Germaine Greer. I don’t think she went to the first one I think she hates Australia and wants to nuke it.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yep, she could go. Then we can get Sten to napalm the show and cut down the libtard population a bit. Germaine is completely insane these days.

16 07 2010
martin

I like watching the Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women shows, she’s pretty good value on that.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Marty

I’m starting to share her sentiment on that one.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si GaA

She was always nuts. She gave feminism a bad name.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I do like her straight talk though. She could never be a politican.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si GaA

“I do like her straight talk though. She could never be a politican.”

this true, but some of the stuff she comes up with makes me cringe.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

I like Germaine, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Take that!

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Shirl

“I like Germaine, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Take that!”

That’s cool, I just find her a bit to angry mental.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

Sometimes you have to be angry mental if you’re devoted to the cause of keeping it real.

16 07 2010
martin

She was on Q&A a few weeks ago and said that we shouldn’t have any armed forces at all. Ha ha. She’s got some wild ideas. I’m sure I’d agree with her on others though.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Bono needs to be glassed Si. and those pretentious sunglasses…
**Glasses self**

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Carefull, Marty is a fan.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si
You’ll protect me… 😕 Wont you?

**Hides under desk from Marty**

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’ll do my best but Marty will hear no critisism of Bono and Co. Forewarned is forearmed.

16 07 2010
martin

I don’t mind if people hate U2. I can see why they would shit people.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

I’m fairly ambivalent towards U2, but The Edge really gives me the shits. Who calls themselves ‘The Edge’ FFS? When I’m a famous rockstar, I think I’ll call myself The Higgs Boson. That’ll out-arogant The Edge. He’s not even a very good guitarist! And get that stupid beanie off your head.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

So Shirl, no Rock in The Edge then huh.

16 07 2010
martin

That name was given to him because his facial features and stuff look edgy.

It was the late 70s so it was kind of a dorky time.

Bono was called Bono because of a local shop called Bonovox or something.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Bonovox means good voice in celtic or something like that. A touch of pretention about that too I’m afraid

16 07 2010
martin

Blah @Simon.

He’s got an awesome rock voice. A massive range. Very good at falsetto too.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

No Simon. The Edge was not ‘born with it’ so to speak. He is an impostor in the world of rock.

16 07 2010
martin

I think it was a coincidence that Bonovox means good voice. He was given the name without his friends really knowing what it meant. *I think*.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yeah, but pointing that out with a name you give yourself?

Bit like calling yourself Martin Longcock.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

“Bono Vox” is an alteration of Bonavox, a Latin phrase which translates to “good voice.” It is said he was nicknamed “Bono Vox” by his friend Gavin Friday. Initially, Bono disliked the name. However, when he learned it loosely translated to “good voice”, he accepted it. Hewson has been known as “Bono” since the late seventies. Although he uses Bono as his stage name, close family and friends also refer to him as Bono, including his wife and fellow band members.[2]

16 07 2010
martin

He didn’t give the name to himself.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No, true, but he knew what it meant and like it.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

No disrespect to you Martin, but I don’t believe these quaint little tales of how The Edge and Bono got their names. It’s all good to be arrogant (I should know), but to be arrogant while pretending not to be is just farked.

In saying this, I have a very cool story about Bono being a very cool guy. I just don’t like the image.

16 07 2010
martin

I don’t think they’re very arrogant. I think it’s more satire. Anyway I don’t mind a certain level of arrogance if a person has earned it.

Whatever. Hate U2 then! It’s over anyway. They’re like 50 or something now.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

I don’t hate U2. Mysterious Ways is one of my favourite songs.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Marty, I am genetically engineered to argue and sh*tstir. Sorry dude.

17 07 2010
miss dahl

You mean the big ones that wrap around – they are the best sunglasses for total eye protection against the sun’s harmful UV rays, y’know.

17 07 2010
martin

No worries Simon, all in good fun.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ pom

Just wait, there coming. They always pop up somewhere. 😉

16 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
I will get to you , just been ten days remodelling bathroom and toilet. today the loo gets changed and mrs H and two beagle go to local pet friendly Motel for the night till the cement sets under the new loo.

However the devolution verses evolution. This is one of the laws of something. Everything naturally tends towards the less ordered state.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

No worries mate, I’ve been flat out this week and haven’t even had a chance to really comment on TBL which has been of great frustration. But I have been fighting the evil doers so it’s been worth it. 😉

I’m sure it’s the law of the bogan gene, which creates the chaos law.

16 07 2010
Mick

Most queenslanders will tell you life in 1969 was tougher but fairer to all.

*Cue Monty Python ‘Four Yorkshiremen’ sketch*

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Mick

LOL Monty Python.

It’s the heat. You have to be crazy to live in that! I think most Queenslander’s believe that it is in fact 1969 or earlier.

16 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
1969 as late as that ?

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

😕 I just used 1969 cause Mick did… I am sketchy on the details of the period too, I was only 10 in 1987 😉 When Big Joh was kicked out. I remember my mother talking about it, and how “shocking” it was. LOL

16 07 2010
martin

QLD – Why they filled it up with dickheads nobody knows!

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

We had to put them somewhere Marty. 😉

16 07 2010
Mick

Hey!

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Mick

Sorry Mick, that wasn’t directed at you…

16 07 2010
martin

Yeah. Not *everyone* who lives in QLD or is from QLD is a dickhead.

It definitely must be the heat/humidity like Pinky said. I go mental in summer in Sydney.

16 07 2010
Mick

I understand. I have a theory that Qld and WA are full of bogans because it takes no effort to live in either state. Lovely climate, cushy mining jobs, etc…

Life is easy so attracts those who don’t want to exert themselves.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Marty and Mick

Of course there are non-bogans in QLD, our darling Shirl is from QLD.

But I definately think that WA and QLD have the most BoB’s per capita (is that the right word I’m kinda winging it here!)

16 07 2010
Tombarina

Not just 1969 – try 1968-1987, better known as the halcyon period “when Joh was in charge”.

A horrifying number of Qlders still wheel out the phrase: “Say what you want about Joh – at least he got stuff done”.

*cue references to building dams, Expo, union-busting and the Great Beer Strike*

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Tomba

You’re right. I’ve heard that about Kennett too. He was a d!ck but he got stuff done. Yeah like closing all the public schools…that was awesome.

16 07 2010
Mick

You forgot the ‘Joh knew how to keep the blackfella in line’.

Abject poverty is always a winner.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

And the cops could get a bit of bonus money to top up their ordinary salary.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

It was a simpler time…

16 07 2010
martin

The bogan also wants to keep tradie immigrants out but white collar immigrants can keep coming. So the bogan can make $5k a week for pissing away school, barely literate if at all, leave in year 10 and do a job a twelve year old could do. The bogan can also pay tax like they were making $1k a week, the extra $4k made up of “cashies”.

16 07 2010
martin

If only the Liberals weren’t such f$cktards. They’re not “back to the 50s”, they’re downright dickension. C&nts.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

They tuk ur jerbs.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si

We’ll be rooooonnnnneeeeeedddd

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Marty Monster

Don’t get me started on this. My ex-bogan was always banging on about his trade been rooned by immigrant labour. Mind you, no white Australian’s were rocking up to do the job of almighty sh!t kicker to a ‘murder of bogans’. You’d want danger money for that job.

17 07 2010
miss dahl

Personally, I never begrudge anyone making a pile of money from working hard, paying taxes etc. What ticks me off are the ones who make a pile from handouts, bonuses and other methods that have nothing to do with work and everything to do with rorting.

In response to the issue of white collar immigrants as opposed to tradies and others: it is a well known fact that typical school leavers and assorted others who aren’t school leavers, will not stoop to do dull, menial and possible dirty work (even if their job description calls for it). I have seen this more than a few times. They all prefer to want to only carry out any duty that requires little effort and keeps their hands clean. The only people left to carry out the “low” jobs are the immigrants, as has always been the case. Possibly because a large number of today’s kids and young adults have this air of entitlement and belief that they should be CEO in only a few years of being in the workforce. Maybe Julia should create a program for our young Aussies: one years’ mandatory volunteer work in the local or overseas hellhole of your choice. Just a chance for the little blighters to see how other people have to live, for a change. This may help towards a future of fewer bogans, who knows.

17 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Miss D

Beautifully put as always. I have no problems doing the ‘dirty work’. When I was nursing, I always did as much of the dirty work as the PCA’s under me. They appreciated it. I would ask them to do pan room and they would because they knew if I were asked, I would too.

I like your idea for a ‘volunteer year’ like Grad year only better. I know a few Gerry Wards that would love a few volunteers. Especially around assisted toileting. WOOT!

17 07 2010
miss dahl

Well, Pinky, call up your local member and get it down with them. being a nurse, you are in a position to even draw up the plans for them, and they will apreciate it as one less thing they have to organise. I’ll bet it will be a surprising suggestion that they never expected!

17 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Miss D

I may just do that **thinking music**

I have a few names and numbers that they could start with.

😀

16 07 2010
pb

tbl, i’m going to have to steal the term powerfox. it is absolutely brilliant.

also, does the phrase ‘moving forward’ remind anyone else of the simpsons halloween special where kang and kodos take over the bodies of bill clinton and bob dole? particularly the wonderful debate bit where one of them (can’t remember which off the top of my head) says: ‘we will be moving forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom’.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ PB

YES!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

16 07 2010
Shirley M

My 2 year old son runs around in circles screaming ‘twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom’.

I’d vote for him over Julia and her ‘moving forward’ guff.

16 07 2010
MentalBoganVoter

In dat foto da Prime Minister haz cankles. Mai ex wyfe had cankles. I’m not voting for woman wif cankles. Hurr durr.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

Powerfox. Brilliant.

My boss uses the term ‘moving forward’ constantly, along with other meaningless executive-speak terms. I hate it. Anyway, vote 1 leaky cock this election, kids. I know I will.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Shirl

The Leaky Cock Revolution 😉

16 07 2010
Shirley M

If you’d like to vote 1 cock, this is how to fill in your ballot form:

http://twitpic.com/23vbyr

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Shirl

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Shirl, here is your spiritual leader. I am sorry for any distress this may cause.

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/07/prince-crotchpeein/

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si

He’s so hot!! BAHAHAHA I particularly like the fact that his budgie smugglers are wet at the crotch. Klassy!

Lucky Shirl!

16 07 2010
Shirley M

A leaky cock with a leaky cock and a slutbag. Thanks Simon. 😉

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Shirl

You’re on fire today, my dear!

16 07 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
Are you speaking of “Fony Rabbit” and ” Jewlery Fishup” ??

16 07 2010
Shirley M

No. That would be a leaky cock with a leaky cock with a muttonslutbag with leaky cock.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

And Bob Brown?

16 07 2010
Shirley M

Bob’s a flaccid cock, of course.

16 07 2010
James Hunter

Ah “Fart Throb Brown” now that is a whole ‘nother story.
Let him be he is after all driving the greens to “obscur city” via “mediocro city”

16 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
You cpould offer every one a years free supply of incontinence pads ?

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

Not in that biz anymore, but I am sure I still know a rep. 😉 How many do you want?

19 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Given I work in the carers sector, I could.

Especially for the mentally incontinent and incompetent numbnuts (especially Barnacle’s Choice) who take the O out of the Country Party.

And the most incontinent isn’t even a Co*ntry Member who’s the leakiest cock of ’em all, it’s Wilson ‘Ironknob” FTuckey, Wiberwal form the division of O’Connor in (I’m ashamed to admit it) WA, who is incontinence personified. You wonder which hole’s open when he ejaculates his arrant nonsense; tell him while he’s at it to put a bung on his mouth too, just for good measure.

And I bet that despite the best efforts to redraw the electoral boundaries of Midwest WA, these whingeing wheat cockies will probably reinstall him, touting him as some “straight-shooter”, which of course is code for redneck ranter, who is, to paraphrase Keating’s assessment of Howard years ago, is Araldited to his seat—been there since 1980.

16 07 2010
Going Bogue

What about those cankles?!

16 07 2010
16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

FFS!

16 07 2010
urbanreverie

I’m still trying to figure out what FOF! means, Simon. F#$% Off Full? Friend Or Foe? Finnish Oncologists Federation?

16 07 2010
Shirley M

It means f*ck off Fiona. Muz’s answer to her trademark LOL. He had hoped that many a poster would jump on the bandwagon.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

UR,

Its Muz’s dig at Fi for LOLing. It means F*ck off Fiona. He uses it on every post as is his right. See entry 117 Pandora Braclets for the evoloution of this.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

Nice referencing Simon!

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Cheers, I love that thread, it went seriously postal. Poor old Chubs almost exploded.

16 07 2010
urbanreverie

Thanks Simon & Shirley. I understand now. If I recall correctly, I didn’t read the Pandora thread that week due to study commitments. So thanks for filling in the gap!

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

It’s worth a read when you have a spare 1/2 hour. Careful you don’t spit coffee on your keyboard.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Urban

One of the best comments threads. So funny. I highly recommend.

16 07 2010
Mark

‘Move Forward’ was a phrase that could deliver optimum bogan traction.

I’m a bit bemused by your current article, given that the majority of your commenters, and yourself are more likely to vote for labor (judging by past comments), aren’t you mistaken here?

Or are you saying that you and your followers are going to vote for labor no matter what, and Julia only have to appeal to the “bogans”

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Mark

I think most of the regulars here don’t want to vote for any of them. Hence Shirl’s suggestion that we vote 1 for leaky cock.

16 07 2010
Shirley M

This series of posts deal with how the major parties are both grappling to secure the votes of the lowest common denominator – the bogan.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Shirl

Aren’t you sick of having to point this out EVERY BLOODY FRIDAY!!??

16 07 2010
Shirley M

I usually don’t bother. I just have time to kill at the moment so I thought I’d do a spot of public service.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Shirl

It’s starting to piss me off. I’m a bit grumpy this eve! 😉

16 07 2010
Mark

Pinky Has A Brain!

Proof please!

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Mark

Dude, I’m not the one making redundant comments…
Please don’t blame me because you don’t understand what this blog is about.

**giggles**

16 07 2010
Mark

Fair enough Pinky, either I’m slow, or this blog is sooooo far above anything I encountered that it’s no surprise it’s beyond me.

It just puzzles me that whatever the subject is, the couple of dozen of you regulars seem to come up with the same comments.

And when it’s about politics it’s never complimentary to the conservative side.

I prefer the option of this blog is too sophisticated for bogans like me.

And please spell it out for me WHAT is this blog about then, surely not much to ask, is it?

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Mark

Not at all. I think you’ll find that most of the regulars here are nice folk, generally taking the piss out of bogans, themselves and whatever else happens to pass us by.

There are a few liberal supporters here. Young Marty is a liberal and is always slagging off us ‘libtards’ Which is me…LOL You see here at TBL we can discuss things without having to resort to name calling.

TBL is satire. Bogan Bribe Watch, informs us of how each side of politics is buying the bogan vote. With hilarious results. TBL isn’t complimentary to either side Mark. Each side is laughed at and mocked equally.

Don’t take everything written here so seriously. I believe we all have a little bogan in us some where. The Bogan Gene if you will. I believe way back in one of the earlier posts Simon – Glasser at Arms (Si GaA) was doing some bogan percentage or something. Very funny.

So please come and join us at laughing at the pollies. Powerfox and T-Bott deserve to be laughed at.

16 07 2010
urbanreverie

Mark,

I think it’s a little unfair to suggest that everyone here holds the same political views.

Among the regulars on TBL you will find a wide variety of political opinions. You have idealistic socialists like me, passionate progressives like Pinky, level-headed centrists like James the Anti-Anti-Intellectual, mild-mannered conservatives like Nelson Esq, and people like Martin – Christ, I can’t figure out WHERE he fits on the political spectrum.

So to lump us all in the pro-ALP box is simplistic, not to mention also inaccurate.

However, despite our differing political views (which are inevitably a product of very different life experiences), what I think we can all say is this: That while holding our own individual opinions, we respect the rights of other regulars to hold their own. We might even sometimes read something that makes us question our own political views.

This, my friend, is what separates us from the bogan. The bogan is clinically unable to accept the fact that anyone who doesn’t agree with their disgusting, moronic, ill-informed pathetic excuse for an opinion is still a worthy human being. The bogan is simply incapable of that sort of empathy.

Like a certain bogan relative of mine, when at some family gathering a few years ago I made some timid criticism of some policy of the Howard government. He exploded and spat “Well if you DON’T LIKE IT here, f#$% off!” A total inability to distinguish criticism from disloyalty, and a refusal to accept that divergent views may have some validity, are hallmarks of the modern bogan.

And you also ask what this site is all about, then? TBL said it best, I think it was at Christmas last year: “Criticism, like pain, is healthy – becuase it draws attention to the unhealthy state of things.”

And as Pinky said, it’s satire. And not necessiarly comic satire. But often serious satire which draws everyone’s attention to the bogan – that subset of Australian society which presents the greatest stumbling block to the cause of genuine social progress and the creation of a liveable, united, harmonious community.

Are we snobs? Some of us are. I won’t deny that I look down at the bogan. I can hardly look up at them!

Are we sophisticated? Some of us might be. I’m not. My tastes are actually pretty mundane, to tell you the truth.

But what we do have in common is an intellect, and an awareness of “the unhealthy state of things”. That’s what brings us all together on these threads. And this place truly is an oasis for all of us, scattered across the country and belonging to every socio-economic statrum – people who are sick and tired of the bogan holding sway over our economy, our society, our political life.

That’s my two cents.

17 07 2010
Shirley M

Wild applause!

17 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Urban

have I told you I love you recently?

I love you 😛

I’m a passionate progressive. Awesome. I must find out what that means… 😉

17 07 2010
martin

@Pinky and @urbanreverie

I’m not a Liberal party supporter. I’m not a Greenie/Libtard either.

Just somewhere in between.

I like a bit of socialism, like the mining tax.

I’ll be voting for this party if they get it together. They’ve got the 500 members now they’re organising candidates.

http://www.populationparty.com/

17 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Marty

Do you swing vote?

I think you’re a bit more left that you let on. 😉

17 07 2010
martin

Yeah I swing vote. I voted for the Greens last time but that was more of a protest vote. I’d rather not vote at all it’s a waste of time and a dollar or two in petrol money. I live in a very safe Liberal seat so I’m surrounded mostly by overprivileged greedy twats or bogans who’ve never had an original thought ever.

I don’t know if I’m left. Depends on heaps of stuff. Depends on how you define left. Though I hope Gillard wins rather than Abbott. I just hope Gillard sticks to what she says and isn’t another Rudd.

I do enjoy that whole lefty atmosphere rather than the snotty neo con type. I’d certainly rather have a night out in Glebe or Newtown than say in the CBD in Sydney.

16 07 2010
urbanreverie

What a strange creature the bogan is. It expects Norwegian-style social benefits (only for bogans like itself, of course – the disabled, the indigenous, the refugees, the single and the students can go get stuffed) but is only willing to pay American-style taxes.

So, to paraphrase Albert Einstein, the tyranny of the bogan’s stupidity is alleviated by its inconsistency. I just hope this inconsistency, of which the bogan lacks the self-awareness to perceive, means that the government actually has the chance to create some genuinely progressive and visionary policy.

By the way, I have just returned home from Brunei. What a marvellous country! Yes, it’s an old-school absolute monarchy, but the people are so gorgeous and friendly and obliging – and also happy, the place is so serene and peaceful. And no bogans either – what hedonistic Aussie bogan boozehound would willingly visit a country in which the sale of alcohol is forbidden and its importation is strictly limited? Marvellous.

I now know what the world will be like when Vivisection becomes Emperor For Life.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I hope Viv allows booze though. It’s not possible to end the day without a nice glass of red.

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

And welcome back UR.

16 07 2010
urbanreverie

Thanks Simon. 🙂

I agree, I hope that Emperor Viv will allow the enjoyment of alcohol within reasonable limits. I do however expect there’ll be no more of this crap that happens in every Australian city on Friday and Saturday nights, when marauding hordes of young bogan men with their digestive and urinary tracts filled with about eighteen lagers or Bundys shout abuse at strangers on the street and harass women and get into punch-ups and turn our urban footpaths into chunder-lubricated skating rinks.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

When is Vivi back or has Shirl kidnapped him?

16 07 2010
Shirley M

I clubbed him to death with my giant, yeti sized stiletto. 😉

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Shirl

I thought you may have him in your basement knitting you fingerless gloves. 😉

16 07 2010
martin

Why are libtards so in love with Islamic people? Must be the flavour of the decade. Probably because everyone else doesn’t like them.

If you want to be a libtard do you have to adopt a non white child from a third world country? Is there a secret handshake?

16 07 2010
urbanreverie

Martin,

I can only assume that your comment was directed at me. I’m not in love with Islam or “Islamic people” (of which there are one billion in the world spanning just about every continent and a greatly diverse range of languages, nationalities, cultures and denominations). I am, however, in love with Bruneian people.

The people there are the happiest, the friendliest, the most considerate people I’ve met. Like the young man who ran a whole block to try and flag down a bus which had just left for the museum. Or the coppers who smile and say hello as you pass. The fact that they’re Muslim is irrelevant. Travel there one day with an open mind, you’ll see for yourself.

And why wouldn’t they be happy? They are ruled by a wise and benevolent monarch, they live in one of the world’s greatest welfare states, they live in peace and harmony with each other and their neighbours, the scenery and food is great. Everyone is relaxed and comfortable.

And the fact that there are no bogans! Didn’t spot any bogans at all! Just like how it will be when Viv takes over the world.

As much as I loved Bruneian people, I wouldn’t live there. I value my individuality and personal freedoms too much. Including the right to buy a six pack of Coopers Pale Ale on Friday night and the right to share a bottle of scotch with my old man. And the right to vote and to criticise my government with impunity. Etc etc.

16 07 2010
martin

Sounds nice. I do have a desire to travel to a country in SE Asia. Bangkok sounds a bit sordid and Singapore would be too clinical. Vietnam or Brunei sounds good.

16 07 2010
urbanreverie

You should get to Vietnam quick before it becomes a Thing Bogans Like!

https://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/bonus-post-things-bogans-will-like/

16 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I am conducting a research trip to Singapore and Koh Samui in late August and look forward to reporting my findings. Veitnam is on my list though. Next year though cycling in the French Alps.

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Si

Do you need an assistant? I don’t do the whole ‘cycling’ thing, but am happy to drive the support vehicle. 😀

19 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Pinkster, We will be a group of 10 or so and will need all the help we can get!

16 07 2010
pb

i’d never seen that bonus post before, urbanreverie. i really hope the bogan doesn’t get its claws into bon iver.

18 07 2010
Peter of kensington

“And why wouldn’t they be happy?…..I value my individuality and personal freedoms”

and

“Didn’t spot any bogans at all!”

I lol’d

16 07 2010
Pandabater

What’s a poor Bogan to do?
Is it a jump to the left?
Or a step to the right?
With a (Junior) Bogue on my hip?

16 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

Off topic and hilarious:

Our new wanna be Queen Femme-Bogan

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=7929938

16 07 2010
16 07 2010
James Hunter

Off topic BUT has anyone seen the reports from the Aussie army in Afganistan ? They describe their “partners” the Afgan “soldiers” as dodgy, very dodgy. like immediately before a patrol where everyone got ambushed an afgan “soldier” was seen sureptisiously on his Moblie Phone “hi mum its me im going with the aussies on patrol and if you want to hit us be at the rock that looks like a bear or the bear that looks like a rock”. My comment on News .com was “Nuke em” but o course they never publish anything that is different to editorial policy. Dimwits.
something like 120 similar reports over the last twelve months.
Shit.!!!!

18 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

So the games have begun with the election being announced for August 21.

http://www.theage.com.au/federal-election/the-battle-begins-20100717-10fd4.html

I think T-Bott thinks he Jesus. Powerfox looks constipated.

18 07 2010
James Hunter

Hi Pinkster,
Looks like a real “box on”. Foney Rabbit looks even more foney then ever. Cant immagine that he believes there enough caflics that still believe in those rewdkneck ideals that they will sweep him into power. ?? Jewlery Hickup is too far up herself to resonate with anyone except her own voice box. so for the Conservatives(liberals) it looks tough titties indeed.
JG, had little option but to take ruddy when she did. to put it off would have been like i.v. KCl for the party as a whole. She still has some dead wood which i figure she is itching to be ridd of but she has to hold back not as some would have it because of faction pressure but because she didnt want too many changes either in reality or voter perception close to an election. My reading is that JG will win and then she will wield the pink axe and demonstrate to both the public and especially the party that she will run things her way. I believe but still hope im right, that she has the balls for it.

18 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

I don’t hold out such hope for JG. Yes I believe she will win the election but not because of her prowess as a leader in this country, but because T-Bott can’t be taken seriously. The man is a boob.

I do hope that the Greens make them shit themselves, bit like the democrats once did.

I hope you’re right about Powerfox. I would love to be surprised. But at the end of the she sounds just like all her male predecessors, full of sh!t and after the bogan vote.

18 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

PS how funny is the Hawke v Keating media b!tch kreg? BAHAHAHAHAHA

18 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
I just hope the Greens do not get a balance of power. Reason is that is a party with 10% of the vote can effectively run policy then that is definetly not democracy. It is to me unlawfull use of minority power and is exentially blackmail. If we want black mailers running the country then might as well vote “Mafia 1 ” at least that way we would get what we expect. With Greens holding the whip hand then people elected as a protesdt and / or as a statement of “green” principle to have power over finance, medical and defence , to me is scarey.

18 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

I think I would rather the greens have a go a medicare, hospital, defence. The other idiots have had a go so why the f@rk not.

I really don’t want any of them in charge, they are all incompetent.

Lets over throw the gumnent JH!!

18 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
Where to start ?
Simon will be ouy armourer and probably sniper. Muz can be chief F@#$er off And Brimstone can get onto his contacts in the C hildren I n A ction for some cheap Black Helicopters and some “one owner” tanks..Since our realy armed forces are mostly based in Queensland and our Federal Police seem to hane out in the Solomons , East Timor and Afganistan my reading of the tealeaves is that Canberra should be an easy target. !
Parliament will be “out” The Lodge empty. So we can despatch one team each to the lodge and parliament house and the third up to the restarant on the tower. where we can take over all the TV and Radio stations and have a luvly lunch and a noice cold chardy while the rest of Australia send telegrams of congratulations and emisaries bearing gifts..
All we have to do is sit round waiting for the USA ambass a door to come get out details for the C I A website and to make a time in August for Obama de Man to telephone.

Got it all covered ??

18 07 2010
pb

seeing as that moron steve fielding currently has a disproportionate power in the senate when he got little more than 1% of the victorian vote, if the greens get 10% and hold the balance of power i’d say that was an outcome worth celebrating.

18 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
The Keeting Hawke match ? Hmmmm Mayne Conroys gestapo will censor it ?

18 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

The slagging match is hilarious. I suspect that Hawke has possibly got alcohol induced Dementia or is on an up cycle with Bi-polar. I love both of them, crack me up.

18 07 2010
19 07 2010
Mitchell

Oh, I hate the liberal bogans. People who vote liberal because they think that they might get rich if they vote liberal… Little do the cashed-up tradespeople know how much worse off they would be with a liberal government in power.

19 07 2010
Frazer

Like a glass to the side of the face, these statements succinctly capture the bogans values. “Possessing a deficient regret gland and an absent self-assessment lobe” and “While the bogan insists on not being responsible for anything that it did in the past, it is quite happy to retain ancient grudges for things that were inflicted upon it”. This is exactly how I picture the bogan.

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