#156 – All Things Fast and/or Furious

12 07 2010

The bogan, in its occasional disconcerting, disorienting moments of clarity, knows that Point Break was a sick movie. After all, it had Keanu ‘Don John from Much Ado About Nothing’ Reeves chasing Patrick Swayze in a funny mask before shooting frustratedly in the air. Bogan win. But that was in 1991. There are now bogans in their majority and legally pressuring their girlfriends to do anal who were born after Keanu went skydiving without a parachute. In 2001, one of the thousands of evil geniuses in Hollywood realised this, and went in pursuit of the same bogan bucks.

This genius – being a genius and all – knew how to appeal to the bogan. He broke into the top secret Point Break Institute in the dark of night and stole the last remaining copy of the Point Break script. He then took it to a meeting of his cabal of bogan wizards to deliberate over what it was in there that struck such a magical bogan chord. Months later, he emerged, exhausted and bedraggled, with a solution. He raced home and grabbed a pen, then, with his last remaining strength before passing out, he crossed off every occurrence of ‘Johnny Utah’ and ‘Bohdi’ and replaced them with the less confronting and less Eastern religion-y ‘Brian’ and ‘Dom’. Sighing the satisfied sigh of the rich, he lay back, knowing he’d struck gold.

Later, in a dungeon in Hollywood, studio executives discussed how best to mine the bogan bucks. “What do we call it? We can’t just call it Point Break again!” said one. “You’re right…bogans don’t like surfing anymore, they realised that the petrol to get to the beach is too expensive,” said another. “I’ve got it!” exclaimed the first, “they like driving…let’s change surfing to drag racing! In bright coloured cars covered in stickers! Bogans love stickers on cars!” “OK. But make the chick hotter.”

Now, instead of fantasising about surfing and regretting the inability to drive to the beach, the bogan can watch Point Break again. Complete with its new, maxtreme title, The Fast and the Furious which, to the bogan, means ‘Me’, it took over the bogan world. Alleged actor Paul Walker was cast in the lead role after having, at some earlier point in time, apparently stolen Keanu Reeves’ voice. Following up with the equally tremendous 2 Fast 2 Furious, the creators capitalized on the bogan’s love of SMS speak before the misstep of The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift which, possessed of unusual punctuation and an unnecessary subtitle, not to mention being set in a country full of foreigners, alienated the bogan. Thus, the follow up, Fast and Furious, removed all unnecessary verbiage, brought back the now failed actors from the first, and basically re-filmed the whole movie. It was a roaring success.


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338 responses

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Exactly how many of these Furious films are there? Am I right in thinking four? I’ve not seen any of them.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

i think these were based on a series of Roger Corman b-movies from the 70s?

12 07 2010
Glass 'em all

Gah, I actually watched the first one. Paul Walker was so wooden he made Vin Diesel look like he might have a career ahead of him.

5 10 2010
Loftie (the other creepy stalker)

Great use of the word Might…

clearly… he had no career ahead of him… until Sylvester Stallone needs a tribute-style actor…

12 07 2010
laurenbee

I admit to seeing the first one at the cinemas (in my defense I was 16….) I still remember being completely shocked to see a community service announcement before the movie pleading with the fully sik bogans not to drag race in the carpark or down the street as they left the complex.

People actually booed……

12 07 2010
miss dahl

Probably because the bogan hordes didn’t realise “it’s just a movie” and that they don’t have to emulate moronic behaviour in real life, ‘coz it could be dangerous, hmmm…

12 07 2010
pb

ahh, but miss dahl, you forget that the bogan has fullyy sik awsum skillz and so is completely entitled to drag race home after watching fast and the furious. after all, they’re going to be the star of fast and the furious 17: blacktown, and fast and furious 18: frankston.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I think I should star in F&F27 – The Adelaide Experience. Being a country boy I can fully drift a car bro, and I reckon my acting would be sufficiently wooden to suit.

12 07 2010
pb

and, being our glasser at arms, you can also bring those skills to the big screen. you’re hired!

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Mad skilzzz!

12 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

SGaA, I have an alliterative film treatment where you can provide the community further benefit, beyond your undisputed talents for direct glassin’ of c#nts:

Take the shattered shards from several of your services as supplied and set a snake of slivers sealed straight onto the sticky bitumen and see their slicks shredded, spurting strong strains of air skywards and sending their fully sik Skylines skidding and scuttling, strewn off of the side of the street, slinging the said streetracers straight into solid steel side structures, slamming their skulls and spilling their brains splattered all over the shattered windscreen and sports steering wheel.

FAST N FURIOUS: S-XTREEME Starring Simon — Glasser at Arms, as himself, ridding the streets of d¡ckheads and hoons.

Challenge him at your peril and don’t rely on run-flats 🙂

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

A somewhat provincial reboot of a JG Ballard classic…Bogan Crash.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

JG is my favourite author so I am all over this one TGA. Now who plays Catherine and am I going to be Vaughan or James.

12 07 2010
Tone

F&F27: Anzac International Raceway. All you’d need are a couple of cameraphones and the desire to hang around a Kmart car park on a Saturday night.

13 07 2010
Valo

Fast and the furious 435: Bendigo. Watch as Paul Walker and Vin Diesel get their cars impounded for street racing and then spend the entire film whinging in the most nasal voices they can muster about the ‘farrrrrkin jacks just wanna ruin our fun ayyyye. And ewes know they’re just jealous of our awesome cars coz they can’t beat us in their farrrkin cop car. ‘

12 07 2010
Cinema Autopsy

Fantastic. Seeing the original film was one of the most depressing experiences I have ever had. It was a media screening at a casino cinema (yeah, I know – that should have clued me in to the type of film it was) and they delayed the film for 45 minutes so that the ‘stars’ could arrive and introduce it.

Michelle Rodriguez ended up not making it so they just brought Paul Walker in. He said something like, “I hope you enjoy the film! We had a great time making it!” and then left. That was what we waited 45 minutes for. And then of course the film played and it was a steamed pile of dump. The various suited-up types who were also at this advance screening (for the bogan word-of-mouth factor) loved it of course.

Part 5 is due for release next year – it’s going to be called FAST FIVE. I kid you not. What will part 6 be called? F6 perhaps? I reckon part 7 should be called F7ST. A mate suggested that part 8 could be titled FAST ∞. That would be pretty extreme and epic, although bogans may not know what the ∞ means.

12 07 2010
Jerry

F7ST….that’s gold!

Despite the fact that the film is a steaming dog turd, it didn’t surprise me when the number of Townsvillean bogans doing doughnuts, burnouts, etc. in the McDonalds parking lot increased dramatically when the original ‘Fast and the Furious’ film was released in cinemas. I guess they saw some deep meaning in the film.

12 07 2010
Simon of South Yarra

drifting -now there is a bogan topic, how much rubber can you burn off your tyres while doing pirouettes in your fully sick car.

Drifting is the rhythmic gymnastics of the auto world

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’ve never seen Point Break but I am guilty of seeing the first Fast movie. Made The Nananu look like Robert De Niro. Bogans love a good rebooting, code for doing the same sh*t with different actors or perhaps simply different setting.

12 07 2010
Fiona from Toorak

lol. I am an idiot

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Yes. Yes you are.

12 07 2010
Andrea

Dear TBL addicts,

This is incredibly off topic, but I’m becoming increasingly worried and felt the need to seek your assistance.

I fear I may be a bogan. I am in debt to the bank for our credit card, I work part-time at a petrol station, my husband likes Krispy kreme donuts (bleurgh from me) and today I am going shopping at Ikea. On purpose. Oh, and we live in Ferntree Gully.

On the other hand, I shop at farmers markets, drink coffee from Oxfam, make my baby son’s clothes and I like to knit. A lot (decent knitting, not fuzzy scarves). Oh, and my son is named Marcus and yes it was after Marcus Aurelius, and we plan to send him to a Steiner school. Also, we don’t watch television.

Do the pros outweigh the cons? Does reading The Age make up for living next to Boronia? Does the use of terry-towelling nappies make up for shopping at Spotlight?

I seek your wisdom, and awaiting the flaming.

12 07 2010
pb

well andrea, you have something bogans never have – self-awareness. i think that makes you safe.

12 07 2010
Tombarina

Spot-on, PB. That’s the single defining factor.

Andrea, you’re safe. Fear not the flaming.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Andrea. It’s what motivates you to do the things that you do that makes you bogan. I’d say that the fact that you are employing self-analytical skills excludes you from boganism. Maybe you’re non-bogan with poor taste 😉

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Can I ask, in one of my calm and more lucid moments, where one draws the line? Would be helpful to know…are self awareness and intent/motivation the only determinants? Is one a bog an who, having spent a lot of time and energy examining one’s self, makes a life style choice to act, for all intents and purposes, as a bog an? They are self aware, have a judicious grasp of current existential issues and ye t buy a v8, don’t convert it to LPG, buy a ski boat and McMansion in franks ton, spend summer caravanning and pig shooting and every available weekend dirt bike riding or jet ski racing, drink tooheys new and Jim beam/rum diluted with cola substitutes from massive cans, prefer anal to trad forms of rooting etc. And please don’t respond with the ‘person that has an examined life wouldn’t choose to live this way as that is a simplistic dismissal.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

We have called them faux-gans previously. A choice is made to lead the bogan lifestyle despite the ability to avoid it.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

The person you describe is selfish, ignorant and easily led. So, even if they have studied themselves in a critical way (which I doubt), they have probably not critically examined the effect that they are having on their surroundings and society. So I guess a lack of understanding of cause and effect is also a determinant of boganism.

12 07 2010
Will S

Sometimes when I examine what means to have the Good Life, all I can come up with is a Big Mac and some tailgating on the motorway.

12 07 2010
Andrea

Thank you all for the calming words of wisdom. Please hurry up with the TBL commune so I can move away from FTG, okay? I can be your residential weaver/knitter if you like.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Do you have a pattern for fingerless gloves that would fit a two year old?

12 07 2010
pb

you can join me in being the tbl fashion police/designers. i can’t knit to save my life so could use your skills in that area.

14 07 2010
??

mmmmm, hard one. but, i think you may suffer from being an eternal dag with no taste rather than a classless bogan

12 07 2010
Mitch-Jay

I think I was 12 when I watched the first film, and even then I knew it was a bucketful of shit without the bucket combined with style over substance cgi.

Much like Avatar and 90% of camerons work really.

I think TBL should do a piece on James Cameron, he’s like the Steve Vai of Filmaking.

12 07 2010
Andrea

Does anyone else want to point out that “Point Break” was directed by this year’s Oscar winner, Kathryn Bigelow? Just me? Okay.

See, bogan filmmakers can change their spots 🙂

12 07 2010
Shirley M

I liked Point Break. In fact, now that my memory has been jogged, I think I’d like to see it again.

12 07 2010
pb

i liked laughing at point break – particularly the supposed australian accents at the end.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Oh yeah, I remember that now.

Maybe I shouldn’t watch it again. I’m not a stoned 17 year old anymore, so I probably wouldn’t enjoy it.

12 07 2010
Tombarina

Shirl, I watched it again earlier this year.

Keanau was still so wooden that I wanted to hollow him out and go canoening on Bulimba Creek, but I thoroughly enjoyed the whole, mindless thing.

Give it an RHG – I dare you!

12 07 2010
Shirley M

You’ve convinced me. Next time I’m near a JB I’ll see if I can find it in a $7 bin. Then I’ll give it to a bogan for christmas.

I know Keanu is a piss poor actor, but I will always love him, for he was Ted.

12 07 2010
SD

I saw Keanu in a lousy movie called Walk something or the other and it was suddenly clear to me why dumb blondes are so popular with men.

12 07 2010
Jason

Ted? You mean Theodore S. Preston, esq.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

OMG no! It was BIll S. Preston, esq. and Ted ‘Theodore’ Logan!

13 07 2010
Jason

Of course! It’s been so long since I’ve seen those movies.

12 07 2010
martin

Keanu is good because he gets out of the way of a good story. The Matrix, The Devil’s Advocate, and Point Break are favourites of mine. A Scanner Darkly was pretty good, and Street Kings as well.

12 07 2010
Andrea

Ummmm… the Australian policeman was played by Peter Phelps. He’s an Australian actor (“Sons and Daughters” alumni).

12 07 2010
pb

well his accent was woeful.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

TBL, you have dropped the ball on this one. You have failed to grasp the distinction between two fundamentally different realisations of the car culture. The defining undercurrent of all the entries in the Fast and Furious Franchise was that “yank tanks” and american muscle is inferior to the superior technology (neon undercarriage lighting, flourescent paint, overnighting parts from japan, spoon engines, the “neesarn ess arrrgh twenty” and of course naaawwws) that defines japanese hatchbacks with engines the size of juiceboxes.

They are not above engaging in blatant falsehoods to achieve this. For example, in “2 Fast, 2 furious” (which I concede involves the use of numerals in place of words for which the numerals are homonyms, which is bogan) a 2.0 mitsubishi lancer evolution can clearly be seen out-accellerating a plymouth barracuda.

This does not actually happen.

Moreover, this scenario is just outright offensive to the bogan, who knows deep down that the blue oval and red lion offerings in Australia are far superior that any overpriced foreign crap ever made, ESPECIALLY rice-burning econoboxes from japan.

In summary, there is no replacement for displacement, and only juice comes in 2 litres.

The flaw in this post ties in to another post I have also denounced, being hot asian chicks. For the record, I maintain that both that post and this one are off the mark.

For shame, TBL.

12 07 2010
Tone

I think you may be missing the point of TBL, just ever so slightly.

TBL is here to mock the New Age Bogan. A large subset of the NAB community (notably, the younger end) has embraced the JDM lifestyle with vigour. One suspects this is because they don’t want to be seen by their peers as ‘bogans’, despite the fact that they are just as bogan as OSBs and the loud, obnoxious pieces of pig iron that they worship.

Having said that, there are plenty of OSBs that enjoy TF&TF franchise, if only because it gives them a chance to tell their younger counterparts to get their f*ckin’ piece of shit ricemobile off their f*ckin’ lawn.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Being a ricer is a sub-culture all of its own. Any bogans who decide they want a piece of it are really going against their bogan heritage.

I mean I have met some bogans who are genuinely not racist (ie no “but…” on the end) but I don’t think racial tolerance will get a run on TBL, because it’s fundamentally antithetical to what is actually a bogan.

You mention CUBs, I’ll see your CUBs and raise you an SS commodore (ute! even) or, if they’re CUBs with a capital “CASH”, then an overpriced GTHO falcon.

To further illustrate the point, when was the last time you saw a boosted up skyline/silvia, wrexxy or evo that WASN’T being driven by someone of lebanese ancestry?

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

What stops lebansese from being bogan?

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Simon GaA
Exactly. Being a Bogan is more about intent not the action. I get really sick of repeating this statement.

12 07 2010
Tone

P!nky and SG@A are, of course, referring to Lebogans. To the untrained eye, Lebogans are easily confused with Wogans. However, wogans prefer to apply maxtreme bling to poor unfortunate 1990s BMW sedans than to the JDM stuff that many Gen Y NABs and Lebogans prefer.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

And certainly not to be confused with the French version Le Bogan.

12 07 2010
miss dahl

Keanu’s from Lebanon.

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ DA

I use to drive a GTR R34 and I am not lebanese…Sweeping generalisation much?

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

That’s kind of the point of a generalisation, that it’s sweeping.

So to answer the question, how long ago were you driving the R34? This would answer the “when was the last time” aspect of the question, and also: why did you stop driving it?

Was it because you couldn’t drive through lakemba without fear of your wheels getting stolen?

12 07 2010
James Hunter

DA,
Actually I thought all Lebanese drove Purple Valiants with pom poms round the rear window and a pair of soccer boots hanging of the rear view mirror.

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ DA

I sold my GTR because I had another child. Is that okay?

Can you please respond WITHOUT making rude personal remarks? Please

I loved my 34 I left it really plain, reduce that “cop-bait” appeal. I also didn’t have “mad system” or fancy rims. Just lowered and tinted windows.

I did have a blow off valve and she purred like a kitten. **Tears well up**

Loved rolling down the window to some moron next to me revving his engine for a drag, then they would see a girl behind the wheel and sh!t themselves.

I never felt the need to “drag from da lights” didn’t have anything to prove.

DA
If someone wanted to steal the rims off my Skyline, good on them. Obviously if they want to spend all that time getting them off, they need them more than I do and my car was insured.

You’re so dull and I don’t know why I bothered replying.

12 07 2010
Sten

I’m not a Bogan, or Lebanese, and I love the Skyline (yes, even the ones made by the Prince Motor Company in the ’60s). Such a fine piece of engineering.

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten

I think the 1960’s skyline is classic.

I don’t like the current four door though, there’s something weird about a skyline having four doors.

12 07 2010
Sten

It’s a beautiful car alright, Pinky. Interestingly, it was manufactured in both two and four door variants. I would probably tend towards a four-door for sheer practicality.

12 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Sten

I prefer the two door. I had two little kids and still had a two door. Nearly did my back in 😉

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Our office in Melbourne in the 179/1982 time frame had a Datsun 240K two door. That was pretty much a goer for its day.
I seem to recall it as being a forerunner of the skyline. ??

12 07 2010
Sten

James mate, they’ve been making the Skyline since the late ’50s (a company called Prince Motors created the Skyline, then merged with Nissan).

12 07 2010
Sten

Hahahahaha! Did your back in. 😀

12 07 2010
Mick

Cars should never have been allowed in movies again after the Mustang/Charger chase scene in Bullitt.

12 07 2010
Tone

I’ll see your Mustang/Charger, and raise you some classic Minis in The Italian Job. (the original, not that horrid remake that Hollywood shat out a few years back)

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

No, Maindrian Pace’s mustang in the original Gone in Sixty Seconds.

that was straight up awesome.

12 07 2010
Mick

I’ll take that fight. Anyone want to throw in the Australian classsic Running On Empty?

I hope not.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Or the Contach in Cannonball Run 2.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

Running On Empty is good but you guys need some national pride. even as a young American i knew the car chases in the first two Mad Max movies were amazing

the one that kicks off the first film? the 30 minute chase that ends the 2nd? you can’t top those!

12 07 2010
Goose

My username is a Mad Max reference. i love the first 2 movies more than is appropriate. However, I do pretend the third movie never happened. And I am reserving my judgement on the 4th.

12 07 2010
Goose

I’ll see your mini’s (excellent choice by the way) and raise you a 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T in Vanishing Point.

12 07 2010
Tombarina

Tone, I pish and tush at your Italian Job, and proffer the car chase scene from Ronin.

My Beloved, finally revealing himself to being an utterly irredeemable old-school bogue, dismisses both the Italian Job AND Ronin in favour of the Charger from The Man From Hong Kong.

*Tomba grabs Yellow Pages, thumbs through to ‘Divorce Lawyers’*

12 07 2010
miss dahl

Let’s not forget the General Lee from Dukes of Hazzard.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Kit from Knight Rider tops all.

12 07 2010
Tone

Actually, I take back what I said about The Italian Job. The car chase scene from The Blues Brothers is THE greatest car chase scene ever in the history of cinema. That is all.

12 07 2010
Glass 'em all

A lot of chase aficionados cite the little-known chase from “Short Time” as one of the best. And Funniest…

12 07 2010
Glass 'em all

Oh well… embed fail.

12 07 2010
Tone

G’ea: Good try. It’s like watching something on a busted iPhone. 😉

12 07 2010
BlindSquirrel

The one that sticks in my mind is the classic chase at the end of Blues Brothers. So many smashed cop cars…

12 07 2010
Mick

No. The Gran Torino from Starsky and Hutch.

I loved that car when I was a little tacker.

13 07 2010
devil's advocate

the Gran Torino from Gran Torino.

It didn’t go anywhere really but I was happy just to look at it.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

Brian Trenchard-Smith is a good guy. his new film is premiering at the Canadian Film Festival soon

12 07 2010
Brimstone

i know nobody believes me but the recent Speed Racer live action film was AMAZING. just balls out crazy fun anime/early 90s video game racing

12 07 2010
Andrea

Ronin.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

DA,

We are all entitled to our opinions, it’s just that you are wrong, thats all. You seem fixed with the idea that a bogan only loves V8’s and this is patently incorrect. Look around dude, plenty of skylines out there with southern cross’s etc on them. Bogans don’t have to be anglo.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Furthermore, I propose that some bogans, just like some non-bogans, don’t know anything about cars, and don’t really care that much about them.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Empirical evidence Shirl?

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Nah. I just find it hard to believe that every single bogan is a car nut. I can think of at least one example of such a bogan.

12 07 2010
Tombarina

Maybe….but do they at least feign a degree of interest?

I’ve yet to encounter a bogan of any stripe or creed who doesn’t claim affinity with some form of obnoxiously-loud petrol-burner – car, jetski, Harley, speedboat, in-town Hilux bedecked with “Mad Keen” stickers…..

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Possibly. But in regards to DA’s argument about 2.0 litre blah blah blah’s (not trying to be rude, I just don’t get into the car lingo), I think that there would be many a bogan who would not think this way, and just gets into a maxXxtreme action movie, which I am assuming these Fast and Furious ‘films’ essentially are.

12 07 2010
Tone

Shirl has a point. For example, I’ve never met an Australian French car enthusiast that could be described as ‘bogan’. Nor have I met anyone heavily into certain British or Swedish marques that one could describe as bogan.

Most bogans with a yen for something Euro tend to favour German-badged machinery, and even then it tends to be more the ethnic-based bogan derivatives that choose this path.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

They seem to go for Audi’s. I think this is because they drop value so quickly junior bogues can get into them and still afford mad modificationxxxx’s.

No one modifies a Volvo.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

I think that there are some aspects of car culture that are heavily bogan oriented. These include shiny big wheels, loud paint jobs and louder stereo systems. All of these have in common that they are signs of conspicuous consumption, which of course is popular with CUBs as well as those with access to questionable finance-lending arrangements.

Many aspects of car culture fit in with the bogan lifestyle. The jap import rice scene isn’t one of them.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Having been a member of a skyline owners club, and still having a lot of involvement with the RB-series mod scene, I will just say a) if you want to debate whether skylines have a bogan following bring it on and b) I’ve never once seen one with an aussie swasi.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

DA,

I can say with complete sincerity that I have seen skylines with a swazi here in little old Adelaide. Even further a friend of mine who is 100% old school bogan has a lovely R32 he used to show. At least 1/2 the time I get abused whilst on my cycle it will be a bogan riding a japanese horse rather than a chevodore. That is my experience anyway.

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Si- GaA

I have seen them too. I nearly cried when I saw this mad Black GTR R34, very tame for a bogan R34, and then I saw it on the back window, the Aussie Swazzie and my heart broke.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Well, given that the bogan is averse to anything resembling hard work and dedication, the (alleged) skylines with aussie swasis may have belonged to “chequebook mechanics” – that is, a particularly loser brand of ricer who has no actually understanding of how cars work, and just drives their rice burner up to their local mechanic with a wad of cash and picks it up a week later, louder, illegal-er and, in their mind, faster.

My experience with tuners involved (still involves) weekends spent in the shed building motors. Maybe theres some selection bias going on which explains why none of the import owners I know (and I know a lot of them) have aussie swasis or similar, but it still beggars belief that I’ve not seen one driving around.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Keep your eyes open, you will my friend.

12 07 2010
Tone

The R32 GT-R is the definitive demarcation point between Old School Bogan and New Age Bogan. OSBs are still carrying a grudge against them after their domination of Touring Car racing in the early 1990s. To this day, they still want to glass Jim Richards for personally calling them an arsehole, even though he was referring to them as a collective rather than on an individual basis.

NABs, OTOH, don’t have any concept of history. They think that Australia was discovered by John Howard. They LOVE the maxtremities of Japanese culture (including but not limited to hentai and bukkake), as well as the way a properly fettled R32 GT-R can put out over 1,000hp in the various Gran Turismo games. These guys eat Skylines up with a spoon.

I admire the GT-R family for what they are, but their intrinsic links with riceboy kulcha is just too big a turn off for me to ignore.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

While I will have to take your word for it on the gran turismo aspect, I will point out that tuning an RB-series motor (as found in the r31 coupe, r32-34) takes effort, (actually, just maintaining them requires a knowledge of exotic, foreign concepts such as overhead cams and more than 2 valves per cylinder, and turbochargers? What the hell are they?) and then requires a level of skill to drive, whereas the 6.0 LS-series found in the snout of the rwd “sports-sedans” (commodores) is good to do burnouts right out of the box.

Oh, and all-wheel drive (as found in the r32-onwards GTRs) is for poofs who can’t drive, real men (bogans) don’t need it.

12 07 2010
lol-plates

Although I love skylines, I find them very heavy and expensive to run on a circuit.

I prefer a Vk with IDAs or ITB. They don’t make as much power, but thats what I prefer (keeps the costs down)

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

God a VK. I would have to shoot myself.

At least upgrade to a VL calais. It had the option of a decent, straight-six turbo motor that was put together using steel-age technology rather than stone-age.

12 07 2010
lol-plates

I try to stay away from turbos for track and tarmac rally cars, the costs can really stack up.

I would go for an early M3 or an elise, but the parts can get expensive. 😦

12 07 2010
James Hunter

DA,
Exotic foreign concepts such as overhead cams ?
Where have you been for the last 20 years ?

Bit like disc brakes. My Renault 10 had four wheel dis brakes in 1967. Guess it takes a while for Yank based “Aussie” iron to catch up ?

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

*Sigh*.

The “exotic” was tongue in check. Jaguar was running DOHC-4valve-per cylinder in the 40’s.

GM/Holden’s LS1 motor still runs its cam in the valley and actuates the valves using pushrods.

12 07 2010
James Hunter

DA,
Appologies,
I have always had European cars, Peugeots VW Renault and now my second Citroen C% and am so used to people looking blank when I try to explain why. The old Renault 10 again aside from being the only mas produced car with 4 wheel disc brakes (as did the R8 before it) had a Two speed Heater Demister and two speed electric wipers while the Aussie stuff you needed a soapy rag to keep the mist of the inside of the windows and you needed to drive in an overcoat to keep warm. Pluss I nearly forgot the holdens they still had bloody Vacume Wipers that thoughtfull stopped working every time you accelerated or went up hill.

Reminds me , Jermemy Clarkson on top gear recently testing a Ford F350 . Huge V8 faster then a Jaguar in a straight line and Disk brakes “The size of milk bottle tops” on the front wheels !! even Ford Europe wouldnt do that.

12 07 2010
Sten

Correct me if I’m wrong, James, but I understand French cars are particularly well-suited to Australian road conditions because they’re the same as those in France (ie shit).

13 07 2010
devil's advocate

Well if it’s genuinely been built as a truck on the one hand you would say you’re not supposed to be hooning it around, on the other hand you’d could argue that if it’s designed to carry (say) 1 tonne then it should be able to stop with 1 tonne in the back of it (let alone empty).

Yeah for some reason americans got the hang of making big powerful (if not efficient) motors but they still seem to struggle with brakes and suspension.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I agree completely with this. Seems any vehicle that wasn’t optioned with go faster bits from the factory (and then even some that are) are always driven by bogans.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Many vehicles are modified extensively but in a way that you (or the rego inspectors) would never be able to know about.

You can make a car go much, much faster than it was initially intended and have it look the same from the outside (or even under the bonnet).

Of course this is of no interest to the bogan, which does not value consumption unless it is conspicuous.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

and wasn’t Tokyo Drift just the anime/live action franchise ‘Initial D’ with the serial numbers filed off?

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Tokyo drift was a lame attempt to cash in on the initial D craze, but they lacked things like any actual understanding of what drifting is about, or indeed drivers to execute any stunts.

For comparison, see the initial D live action movie made by Andy Lau and Alan Mak some years ago. I think they cast a korean singer in the lead role. And the “drift king” himself (tsuchiya) was actually doing the driving. No CGI, just incredible driving.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

i saw some of it on SBS… it was so cliched it was hilarious

nothing will ever beat Speed Racer, the live action film. i know it got horrible reviews but it was amazingly fun and captured the feeling of the best anime and video games

12 07 2010
Sten

I saw this on SBS. Terrible acting, but the racing bits were very good.

I found it confusing, though, how the actors were all Chinese, but the characters all had Japanese names. Cultural cringe, much?

13 07 2010
devil's advocate

As above, the main guy I think is korean. In fact I think the lead female might have been korean too.

Either way she was cute as all hell.

13 07 2010
Sten

A bit young-looking for mine, but I can see the appeal.

13 07 2010
Valo

I think that whilst bogues may drive Holden Commodores or Ford Falcons, they would give anything to trade them in for a Nissan Skyline or Subaru WRX.

24 12 2010
LLP

Not in the slightest.
Death before Rice.
Out of curiosity, What is a non bogan car?
What car should a sophisticated car enthusiast drive?
What do you people drive?
Japanese cars? no thanks.

24 12 2010
Ash - Maxxtreme To The Maxx

I drive a 98 VT Commodore with a Swazi sticker and Cronulla Sharks numberplate.

It’s not what you drive, it’s how you drive it.

OK, I confess…I drive like a bogan anyway. But I never express road rage. And I save my hooning for Captain Cook Drive/Henry Lawson Drive/Pittwater Road at night, when the roads are mostly empty.

25 12 2010
James Hunter

Ash,
I drive a Citroen C5 2.2 Bi Turbo Diesel with personalised plates… “C CINQ ”
Not sure what this make me?
Oh, From Manly up past the golf course used to good to let it out!

25 12 2010
Ash - Maxxtreme To The Maxx

JH, your choice in automobile would make you a frog wannabe and therefore a prime glassing candidate by the bogan.

25 12 2010
James Hunter

Ash Always knew there had to be a reason why I avoid bogans

2 06 2012
Liz

James Hunter,
Just found your post. You’re not the only one!
I drive a gold Citroen C5 HDi 2007 with personalised plates “C CINQ” (gold on black) …. north Brisbane

12 07 2010
Tone

Oh, sorry … it’s YOU, da. I can’t believe I still fall for it, 156 posts in. Well played, Sir! 😉

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Pfft, whatever. There is a difference between trolling and peer review.

12 07 2010
Tone

I feel better now. Thanks. 😛

12 07 2010
martin

I don’t see too many wanky cars around my way anymore. I think they’ve been replaced by the SUV. The wankers wanted some “class” and to kill children.

I haven’t heard that woosh sound of the er, turbo thingy that makes the sound when you change gears for years. What’s it called devil’s advocate?

12 07 2010
martin

I think the bogan likes the SUV so it can run over children, rendering the child disabled so it will only be able to rent for life. Thus the bogan has one less competitor with regards to it’s investment property empire.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Martin – Don’t get me started on the extenally venting blow off valve.

I won’t go into the mechanics, but will say that in addition to making your car slower, it also creates an audible alert to the police that the vehicle has been illegally modified because exhaust gas is venting to atmosphere under the bonnet.

This is one of my most hated ricer technologies.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Those things would have to annoy the cr*p out of you if it was your car once the novelty wore off.

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Not to mention being repeatedly pulled over by the cops. I mean if you’re too dumb to know an externally-venting bov is illegal, then chances are your car is a bonanza for the rego inspectors in many other ways.

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Marty

Blow off valve. 😀

12 07 2010
martin

Blow hard valve :).

If it’s got the word “Blow” in it, the bogan likes it. Because “Blow” can be associated with blow job and the slang word for a cool drug that the bogan can’t afford – cocaine.

Haha fuck I’m funny.

12 07 2010
SD

So who watches the Fastest and Furiousest then?

I know nuffink about kar kulchur or fast and furious franchises but the crowds at the multiplex for such movies seem to fulfill all other bogan stereotypes. That alone – and the fact that bogans are seemingly unaware of plagiarism – seems to merit entry 156.

12 07 2010
miss dahl

I’m no car buff at all, but if I had to quickly name a car that I’d want for Christmas (in case anyone ever asked or offered …) I could name a few good ones. I know because I’ve watched Top Gear.

12 07 2010
martin

I’d happily be a socialist/communist when it came to cars and transportation but seeing as I live in a pig scum capitalist society and if I did have the money I’d get a BMW 330 series. Even if BMWs and a lot of euro cars are basically a metaphor for “phuck you” you simply have to go euro if you want a car that’s made fundamentally properly .

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Martin,

I have the soloution. get a Skoda. From a communist country but made by VW with VW supplying all the important parts.

12 07 2010
martin

I will if everyone else gets one first and we have a socialist government and they only cost $10k new. Because they’re ugly.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Well they are 20-30 grand cheaper than the VW or Audi equivalent and just as good. As for looks it’s a matter of taste. If you can’t tell I bought one and it is really good. I quite like the look but could see not everyone will.

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Martin,
Come come,
Even when I was a boy Skoda made decent cars. then is was localised Renaults. but like the renaults, tough as nails. Just not as pretty as the renaults. But hey if you just buy a car for its looks then you got a problem ?

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

JH, I would buy a Lambo Contach just for the looks!

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Well yes , but would you buy a holden or falcon just for looks ? Nada !

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Nah, I look a bit deeper, probably why I got a Skoda.

12 07 2010
martin

Sorry for calling them ugly. I had a look at them and they look like your standard mass produced cars. Not really attractive, not really ugly. I must have been thinking of something else. Czech cars hey, interesting.

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
There was a time when most every comunist country had a car factory. Most were for designs by Fiat, Renault and VW, although I think Fiat possibly had the lead.
Same with Tractors. Most every one who was anyone had a Massey Furgeson Tractor Factory.. Right up until the place went stupid Fergie parts for the old grey beast and the MF 35 came from Yugoslavia. even a lot of the castings for tractors made in UK came from over thwere. It was payment in kind.. Poms did the same thing with Perkins Diesel engins. Factories in Brazil, Yugoslavia and Argentina for eg all had refurbished but outdated machines from UK.
I have been in for e.g. the Perkins factory in Brazil and they were assembling engines from parts made in Brazil, Argentina, UK and USA. Similarly they supplied parts to the other places.
Bit like today, Holdens in Melbourne make V6 engine core assemblies and supply them to Alfa Romeo.(its a small 2.50r 2.6 vervion of the regular holden alloy 3.0 motor. just the block, crank rodspistons. esentially what we would call a short moror..
Ford Aust were buying alloy cylinderheads for falcon from Yamaha at one time. so it all gets a bit murkey

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Other thing just came to mind,I did some machinery for Castalloy in Adelaide and they were making alloy wheels for BMW and Wheels and swing arm assemblies for Harley Davidson.
Just goes to show you can’t tell what your swinging a leg over any more !

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

If you want a commie car, you really can’t go past a Trebant. Hails from East cheermanee.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Can you still get them? Built from tin cans and baling twine if memory serves and powered by wishful thinking.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Maxtreemo lulz Simon!

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

The fast and the furious (the first movie) actually developed something of a legitimate following in car tuner circles because of what was essentially a drinking game based on pointing out the mechanical fallacies in the movie.

For example, if they do a CGI-undertbonnet shot of a rotary-powered mazda and show a piston moving up and down, chug a beer.

If vin berates brian for over-revving his pussbox eclipse, saying they have to “take apart the engine block” (nb: an engine block is a single cast iron or alloy component) chug a beer.

If someone claims they can install and tune a nitrous kit in 3 hours, do a shot.

If vin claims brian should double-clutch on the upshift, do 2 shots.

If you see someone prevent catastrophic engine failure by telling their laptop to “shut up”, … you know.

There are probably entire websites dedicated to this.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

I don’t own a car but I love Mad Max and Top Gear. but seriously, Aussies should be proud. has anyone beat what George Miller’s done in those first two Mad Max films?

i love the idea of American movie execs or Japanese video game designers chasing the bogan market that they don’t even know exists

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

Yeah, especially when the culture they are attempting to exploit (rice rocket/JDM tuning) has nothing to do with being a bogan (or redneck, etc.)…

12 07 2010
Brimstone

as i said above, i think Tokyo Drift had something to do with Initial D

12 07 2010
devil's advocate

And as I said below/above, niether initial D or the fast/furious franchise has anything to do with bogans. Ie I’m broadly agreeing with you.

12 07 2010
Will S

Good morning TBLers

I have a present for you all: another field recording of the bogan in its natural habitat

This could be more in the order of dero gutter scum than nouveau bogan…funny though. TBL

12 07 2010
Shirley M

I got 28 seconds in. Good lord. Is it worth persevering, Will, or have I gotten the gist of it?

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

That is truly inspired. “…I’m no superwoman eh?…” geeneeus. You couldn’t script this stuff!!

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I am going to transcribe this and post it later just to linger over and savor the language! Just superb. There are many ways to rape and slaughter the English language but none so amusingly and stupidly as boguelish.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Is that a Sydney train?

12 07 2010
urbanreverie

Yes, it’s a Sydney train. A Tangara, to be precise. 🙂

12 07 2010
Sten

Furthermore, you can tell by the seats (which reverse direction, for those not from Shit-nee), that it is probably an inter-urban train, or at least operates in the outer suburbs.

Based on the above, and the fact that the woman in question is a hideous swamp-donkey, I would have to guess the train is bound either for the Penrith area, or the Central Coast.

12 07 2010
pb

well she does mention blacktown, so yes, she’s from the far west or blue mountains.

13 07 2010
Sten

Didn’t get that far, pb. I nearly glassed myself out of despair for the species.

17 07 2010
Whistling Nixie

Couldn’t be the Blue Mountains line: only V-sets can fit through the tunnels. So that leaves the Western Line on the suburban system.

12 07 2010
urbanreverie

Oops Sten, I didn’t notice the reversible seats. That would be a G set then, an intercity Tangara. Because she mentioned Blacktown, that would almost certainly be a Blue Mountains intercity service. Though the Blue Mountains aren’t very bogan, the trains to the Mountains do stop in Parramatta, Blacktown and Penrith. Many people from those areas catch the intercities because they are faster and have more comfortable seats.

12 07 2010
Sten

G set? My hat is off to you, urbanreverie. Well spotted.

I agree, the Blues are more hippy/feral than anything else. Bogues would just whine about how cold it is and about all the alternative types. And about how there’s all these second-hand book & curio shops instead of maccas, Krispy Krap and Harvey Norman. In othehr words, a place I’d love to live in.

Living in the far north of Sydney as I do, I always try to get the interurban trains… I prefer the V set trains. They’re just more comfortable.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Look forward to you posting this as I am at work and can’t listen.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

My pleasure!

12 07 2010
Will S

Transcribe 7 minutes of that? You may not make it out alive.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Lulz! Although not an expert, the enthusiast in me demands I do it and I really can’t wait to poor over the sentence structure and choice and order of expletives…love the judicious use of the vernacular ‘dirty arced kaaants’…not quite sure if this is even possible physiologically!

12 07 2010
Tone

You could turn it into a drinking game. The trouble is that if one used ‘f*ck’ or ‘c*nt’ as the magic words, even the most hardened Engineering Student would keel over within about 4 minutes.

12 07 2010
Glass 'em all

It has a KID!!?? When’s the govt going to issue cyanide caps…?

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

See! I have been secretly wishing for child birth licencing for years! Does this justify their use?

12 07 2010
Antosha

Absolutely agree. One of the best things about Starship Troopers (among many good things) is that they need licences to have children.

‘those little Karmichael’s… mouffin’ off…’

Love it.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Only problem I can see is what to do with all the unlicensed ones given a bogan’s affectation for breaking with laws…

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Send them to East Timor. They wont mind.

12 07 2010
Sten

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didnt’s something bad happen to Buenos Aires in that film?

12 07 2010
Antosha

Indeed

And did you notice how Buenos Aires had become totally Americanised?

Some idiots I was watching it with said “That’s rubbish.. BA looks nothing like that! And they speak Spanish.. not English with American accents! What a silly movie! etc etc”

I thought it was a very clever pic.

“Live tonight.. All Stations, All Net – a criminal! Join us live for his execution!”

12 07 2010
Sten

I was always a bit dubious of Heinlein… always seemed to be a bit of an apologist for fascism, to my way of thinking.

12 07 2010
Antosha

I thought it certainly promoted militarism – intentionally or otherwise…

Nothing like a cold war and a space race to get a sci-fi writer’s creative juices flowing!

12 07 2010
Sten

True indeed, but the esteemed Phillip K Dick was certainly no exponent of questionable right-wing ideas. Quite the opposite, to my way of thinking.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

when i was a kid, i used to be in favor of eugenics

until i actually learned about it and how it was used…

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
Evolution is eugenics by default. Unfortunately mankind, because they “know better” interfear with this and we allow the procreation between those with known genitic flaws.Then we spend Millions( that could be better spent on the productive and the elderly) maintaining life in the results.. Nature would have let them die and nature is so smart after all.
When it cones to some of the social flotsam and jetsme of todays world I can see a case for compulsory sterilisation. Society seems to think it is better to weigh itself down with ever increasing numbers of cot cases.To what avail?
A similar case can be made for mass sterilisations in the dirt poor countries where millionsof millions are spent on welfare from developed countries, just so they can bread millions more for us developed countries to keep on our welfare for ever and ever. realy an not see much sense in that.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Mmmm…cones…bucket or bottle bong?

12 07 2010
James Hunter

TGA,
Come now you can surely make a considered comment? Or are realy serious matters beyond you ?

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Ok Jimmy, since you arksxed so good. But this is going to be pretty ‘death spirally’ and you may end up feeling a little powerless and helpless at the end of it…it is part of the ‘fully sick effects mate’ and can’t be avoided if you wanna get me goin on a ‘serious’ matter. Way I see it, no one is willing to succumb to the really difficult choices and solutions that need to be made and executed in order for some major problems to be ameliorated. Imagine the uprising if some 1st world country, enjoying a standard or living built on the back of cheap labour and the exploitation of said nations weak or non existent environmental policies, demanded this 3rd world country’s population be sterilized. Shit poor 3rd worlders already tear each other apart over dirt in the ground, imagine if they had to fight over their right to root and pop sprog… Licencing childbirth is probably the most viable, graspable short term intervention if there was an ethical way of dealing with unlicenced births. We saw where that led a few decades ago here…As long as ‘governments’ (and I use the term here loosely) lead by the poll and only look to winning the next election, we will end up with a camel of a country and as governments around the world do this too, we will end up with more of a camel of a world (camel = a horse designed by committee – an oldie but a goodie – for all the ‘lil tackers out there in blogland haven’t heard this one). There is just no way in the next 50 years that the Earth will be able to feed and water the number of people expected to be born. With soil degradation, environmental pollution, fish stock depletion (we have virtually eaten the oceans barren) let alone the amount of oil needed to make the fertilizer to grow and to ship strawberries from where they are grown to where they are eaten, the amount of water needed to grow enough beans for a cup of coffee, a litre of beer, a bowl of rice or a tshirt’s worth of cotton, the amount of water and feed to produce a kilo of cow meat…we live in a world that is still using primitive agrarian technologies and models to supply a ridiculous nutritional paradigm – at the core, a food production system that cannot fulfill a planet with the amount of people we are producing. In certain respects, we, humans, ARE the problem. WE are the cancer eating the world up and destroying it with our own filth like a bacteria colony growing out of control. My solution, if there is to be any hope of reversing back from the tipping point, is to kill all the males and revert to a radically simplified nutrition of the likes of spirulina and vegetables that can be grown organically and bio dynamically and rain water. Ridiculously radical and nuts I know but consider this. Kill all males = instantly halves the population and instantly removes the ability to have children. Women don’t need men with IVF technology. A lot of the warlike hormones are removed. Idiots with small cocks prancing around compensating for their smalls by getting to run countries are taken out of the equation instantly. In a generation or two, no one would miss males. Government could control, instantly, who could be inseminated (there is enough sperm in sperm banks around the world). It would be possible to euthanize any male conceived so you wouldn’t need to take ‘unlicensed’ kids away from people. If a woman didn’t meet the criteria to be inseminated, she simply could not have a child. The amount of children could be ethically controlled. And half of all the consumption of all earth’s resources would end over night. Imagine, no more Maloo utes! (If that was the only benefit in doing this, it would be reward enough) And ok, don’t kill anyone, just ‘inoculate’ pregnant mothers from birthing males. And again in a few generations you would achieve a similar result. I welcome an alternative suggestion that is not so darned extremist. But we are coming to desparate times. And really? Who cares anyway? Unless a majority of the world’s population changes its attitudes and behaviors, nothing will make a difference. The fringe ain’t gonna fix this with separating their plastics from their papers and kitchen scraps and going vegan. The Rothschilds, Goldmans and Bushs of this world have it all stiched up if you think you can get in there and do anything about any of this, and most are too pre-occupied perpetuating their debt slavery to worry about any of this depressing, helpless, good for nothing shit anyway. And (love starting a sentence with and – I feel so rebellious when I do, so taboo!) without some nut-numbing changes to the status quo, we are heading for the mother of all train wrecks. So, y’know what? Resigned defeatism is the new retrosexual. Buy a V8, eat shiploads of meat and rice, drink a bazzillion coffees (fair trade, no trade, stolen whatever), drink beer like there is no tomorrow (cause soon there wont be!) and just darn try and get as much of the pie left that you can, or some other fucker will anyway. There. Considered.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Make the wearing of these devices mandatory by women…

http://www.antirape.co.za/images.htm

Considered enough?

12 07 2010
Sten

I see nothing wrong with voluntary eugenics. I’m even happy to exclude my genes from the gene-pool, as I wouldn’t want any offspring of mine inheriting and passing on my shoddy genes.

12 07 2010
martin

We need a licence to breed. Global one child policy. Except for cool people who can have two. Maybe even three if they’re awesome. Like errr, no, I can’t think of anyone who deserves three.

I know, anyone who makes great comedies like Ricky Gervais, Larry David, Tina Fey and Seinfeld.

We should sterilise anyone who likes Nickelback. We should also implement some sort of stolen generation thing like what they did to the Aboriginals. Except this time do it to any 4WD’ing soccer mums.

12 07 2010
Sten

I’m always a bit leery about declaring my support for limiting population, left I get lumped in with the “Fuck off, we’re full” imbeciles.

But of course we need to do something about overstretched resources in our capital cities (esp. on the East Coast). We can’t just keep shoehorning people into either underserviced outer suburbs full of McMansions. Similarly, we can’t just adopt an infill strategy without upgrading already strained road, rail and healthcare systems.

So what’s the solution? Business and Government seem loath to develop regional centres (I for one would definitely move away from Sydney if I could be certain of finding a job in the country – one step closer to a potential TBL-town), and people still insist on squirting out kids who inveitably won’t be able to cope with the cost of living when they grow up.

Perhaps we should think about canning the baby bonus and instead give money to those willing to *not* have children (sign me up, and I’ll get the chop tomorrow!), while also giving people an incentive and support to live somewhere other than the capitals.

If nothing else, decent telecommunications infrastructure would enable people work from home, and a proper high-speed rail system would enable the same people to attend meetings or whatever in the capital when working from home isn’t an option.

Sadly, that sounds like the Government spending money, which is a big no-no these days.

12 07 2010
martin

Well the entire world’s economy, especially ours at the moment, is a ponzi scheme, kind of like a pyramid scheme, that requires constant feeding from the bottom in order to maintain it’s health. So while we have corporate owned parties like Labor and the Liberals, and a bunch of self entitled petulant little bitches that constitute the majority of the population, we’re f$cked.

Personally I’m stinging for a depression to clean out all the tards so we can go back to a more meritocratic way of life. But that’s easy for me to say because I don’t have a ridiculous mortgage and so am not currently a hostage to the system.

12 07 2010
Will S

The only way to limit population growth without throwbacks to the Nazis is through education, freedom of women, contraception and raising the standard of living. Then it takes care of itself, just look at Western Europe.

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Will S,Unfortunately we may not have as long as that nice way would take.
USA and Russia have thousands of nukes going to waste.
Maybe we use a hundred or so and sterilise whole chunks of the African continent, the middle east , the Indian continent, Mainland China and South America.
Then with all the non productive breaders who live on the welfare provided by the like of us gone we can get on with making the world work again.
Mind you lots of our problems have been caused by the Romsan Catholic Church “saving savages” then giving them food and medicine so they can breed prolifically and at the same time forbidding birth controll.
That is the epitome of criminal stupidity and they are still at it..
No wonder the pope drives round in a armoured car !!

13 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Mmm. Eddie McSquire would get 3 cause he is such a ledge end and popularized the phrase ‘bone’ meaning ‘to sack’.

12 07 2010
miss dahl

Wish someone would strap her down and strap that mouth! Oi vey!

12 07 2010
jaydyn

Try playing it with the youtube Vuvuzela button on

12 07 2010
urbanreverie

Oh dear, Will. Oh dear. I don’t want to go back home to Australia now. I really don’t. This has cured the small degree of homesickness I had.

12 07 2010
Antosha

Here here Urban.

My pangs of homesickness just evaporated away after watching that wildlife footage.

And full marks to the naturalist who captured the footage – at great risk to his/her personal safetly. Dian Fossey would be proud.

12 07 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

Why wouldn’t you tell her to STFU.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Well, fear of getting glaarsed for one…maybe bashed? You heard what she would do to sumun she luvvednthat eh? Imagine what she’d do to a stranger…

12 07 2010
Whistling Nixie

Given that the video was taken on the CityRail network, it’s not a case of The Fast & the Furious, but rather The Slow & Spurious.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Still a golden example of their Tork’n skillz eh?

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Will

She is all Klass. hahahaha

@ Shirl

Watch it, this chick is HILARIOUS

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Alrighty. I’ll watch later when my impressionable 2 year old son is out of earshot.

13 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ Shirlz
Did you watch it?

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
Good to see you in form. catch u soon.

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

😀

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Is that your work Will? If so, fine work…love your work…loved that you used video instead of just audio and appreciated that you were discreet so as not to get glaarsed…!

12 07 2010
Will S

No way, I wouldn’t record people in public like that.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

I’ll take that as a yes. 😉

12 07 2010
Will S

Haha, no. I have a car 😛

12 07 2010
James Hunter

How many of you have watched the underground film “Rendezvous”
That is wicked fast.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Nope, my favourite car film is Herbie goes Bannanas!

12 07 2010
Andrea

I absolutely love that film. It’s a classic, even if the gear changes were added in post production.

12 07 2010
amr

I agree a little with DA here on pig iron car culture vs ricer car culture. But it is a sweeping generalisation as I too have seen many a Skyline adorned with southern cross livery. Perhaps it is just an Adelaide phenomenon.
I drive an unboosted rex hatch so I get called all sorts of things, especially when I drive onto building sites and unload tools.
I hope that is all I have to confess.

Of course the franchise is complete crap. It is purely for bogan entertainment value not art. Much like every movie franchise when they go beyond the first installment because they chase dollar signs.

Yes JH, that is one cool fast one take flick.

12 07 2010
martin

I think the 86 or 87 skyline had an Australian engine if I’m not mistaken. So the bogan might think that it “owns” the Skyline?

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You are mistaken. The Commodore from that era had a Skyline engine.

12 07 2010
martin

Oh. Well I’m sure that’s good enough for the bogan.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

They choose to forget this part of history.

12 07 2010
martin

That must be why the 86-87 Commodore is known as one of the best. The VN I believe.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

The VL.

13 07 2010
devil's advocate

Wrong, it wasn’t a “skyline” engine per se, although it was also fitted to something sold locally and badged as a “skyline” (being a 4 door sedan).

Basically the old holden straight six red motor (202?) wouldn’t meet emissions, so they needed another engine, and fast. They looked to overseas manufacturers for a motor rather than try and design one themselves. For some reason they didn’t think that relatively small capacity (2.4, 2.6 litre) twin cam turbo engines from the skylines would catch on (despite being more than double the power output).

They settled on the RB30E, which although being an RB series motor, was used in nissan’s japanese, gas-powered forklifts. Other than the name “RB” on the engine, it has little in common with the skyline engines (eg the RB26 as used in the GTR). The obvious differences are that it’s a non-turbo, and single overhead cam, and I won’t go into the differences in the actual strength, rigidity and balanceing of the block because that’s even more boring. But it’s a mistake to think the RB30E in the VL commodore has much at all in common with the GTR engines.

They strapped a turbo to the side of it for the VL calais, with the result that this turbo motor was more powerful than the aussie-made v8. Whoops.

In summary, in the 80’s, nissan were installing more powerful, more durable and more emissions-compliant motors in their forklifts than holden were building for their passenger cars.

24 12 2010
LLP

Then HSV brought out the Brock V8 Commodores and bye bye rice ones.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

AMR, that is true. Very few films survive intact into parts 2 etc.

Godfather 2 is a blessed exception.

12 07 2010
amr

Yet to see any Star Wars so can’t comment on that franchise

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Depends which part you mean. Empire is great. But parts 4 & 5 suck. Not seen 6

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Not seen 6? Simon! Empire is the greatest, and Revenge of the Sith runs a close second. I insist you watch it ASAP!

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Nope, shan’t. I will never watch anything George Lucas does again. The memory is to horrid and fresh. He joins a list headed by James Cameron and also including Michael Bay.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Just do it. Do it for me. Go on.

P.S. I agree that GL is a twat. And I would get great joy out of punching James Cameron in his smarmy, hideous face.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Sorry Shirl, we must have firm boundaries in our life and this is one of them. I just don’t care after 4 & 5.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Firm beliefs will often let you down, Simon. I really must insist. As one Empire lover to another. F*ck 4 and 5. They were shithouse. 6 is outstanding. Trust me, tiger.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Ok, if I happen across it I will watch. God help you if I waste another 2 1/2 hrs of my life.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

I am willing to take whatever you want to throw at me, should you be disappointed.

You gotta see Anakin go full evil, dude.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

After 4 and 5 I wanted to see Anakin locked in Pentridge and violently rodgered by a 20 stone man called Dozer.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

I’m picking up what your putting down. Just TRUST ME. You should know by now that I’m never wrong. 😉

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Ok. I’m on it.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

I eagerly await your review and the discussion that will result. You’re a good man, and thorough.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

GL duped me twice and that is hard to take. He has a lot of ground to make up. Just for you Shirl.

12 07 2010
Shirley M

You see Simon, I saw 4 and 5 in the cinema, and was so deflated that I refused to see 6. Then someone gave me an illegally downloaded copy and I LOVED it and was so disappointed that I didn’t get the big screen experience.

I’m very touched that you’ll watch it just for me.

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Shirl & Si-GaA

Can I join in on later discussion on Star Wars 6?

Would be most excellent. 😀

12 07 2010
Shirley M

The more the merrier Pinky.

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Si,

I agree with Shirl. I’m huge Star Wars fan. Please watch it!

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

P!nky,

Your opinion of 4 & 5?

12 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Si
4 & 5 Sucked arse. BIG TIME. But I liked 6 and it worth watching because Anikan turns evil in a really cool way. I don’t mind Natalie Portman as a general rule and thought she did her best as Queen Armadala considering she had play opposite Mr Wooden, Hayden Christiansen. I mean how did he get that role? I strongly believe that if they had used a better actor for the role of Anikan Skywalker 4&5 would have been much better films. Also I believe that if they hadn’t used so much CGI and gone with more of the original techniques the films would have been better still.

George Lucas is tool. But stars 1-3 are my all time favourite films with Empire being my number one all time movie ever. 😀

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thanks P!nky,

Well done. Natalie did really struggle with script and opposite number. The usually reliable Ewen was only in it for the money I reckon.

12 07 2010
Antosha

Simon – by 4 and 5, I hope you mean Episodes 1 and 2, the awful new ones… with Ms Portman and that Canadian twat. Utter tripe. Those 3 movies (the awful new ones) serve only the purpose of inducing regurgitation.

Can’t beat blue screen acting and over-use of CGI to wreck an idea. Messrs Lucas and Cameron have become experts at it.

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Antosha,

Yes that’s what I mean. Any opinion on 6? Shirl reckons I should watch it.

12 07 2010
Antosha

Mr At Arms.

I am no fan of 6 (Episode 3) either. Albeit I found it to be the least offensive out of those 3 new ones. The 2nd one is the most woeful.

Those 3 new ones just did nothing for me. I am a HUGE fan of the franchise.. and to me all the CGI and blue screen acting… just left me feeling a little.. hollow..

There was no real, rough, stressed feel of the originals. In RotJ, you feel like you can reach out and touch Jabba… that he is kind of real. Not so with the CGI.

Lucas and Cameron both need some lessons in the effective and balanced use of CGI from the Weta boys in NZ.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Would have liked to see dicaprio as anakin…

12 07 2010
Shirley M

Oh no way. You could have a somebody play Anakin. GL was right in picking a nobody. He just picked the wrong nobody, is all.

12 07 2010
Antosha

@ Pinky

I agree with your pick for best movie ever!

“Stand by Ion Control…. fire…”

12 07 2010
amr

Yet to see any of them, from the 1970’s to now

12 07 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
You should download Rendezvous. It is real footage. This dude filmed it from his car a Ferrari I think as he ran at Maxtreeme speeds across Paris in the very early morning. Unbelievable when you watch it esp knowing that it was not a stunt driver on clossed off roads. I understand the Paris cops eventually traced him down .

12 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I will do JH.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia
12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Man that motor would’ve needed a rebuild after that!
Jimmy, can I ask the difference between throwing a faz around the quaintly cobbled streets of pahree (rather snoozily by today’s standards I might add) and, say, throwing a maloo or a clubsport around the potholed streets of franks ton or black town? Bogue is as bogue does Jimmy… We are witnessing here that same antisocial, loutish, boorish behavior we all prat on about here…(doesn’t lift off for ANY lights (!) crosses to the wrong side of the road several times, up on the curb nearly taking out someone’s aïeule in the process, nearly stacks into cross traffic and sanitation officers…Other than some long ago expired vintage cachet propped up by a retro seventies franco-chic cool aesthetic, this is still some heavy cashed up old skool euro-bogue behavior to the maxXstreem! Why not revere a long, strong, smokey burnout at a summernat burnout comp or some old skool Bathurst 1000 laps from Brocky? At least those activities were undertaken in controlled environments where the only consequence could be some collateral bogan carnage. Here we have some hot French lover boy tearing up suburban streets like a bogan maniac. Even Ronin was shot as a movie in controlled sequences…By reveri g this nonsense, you are really passively aggressively siding with the boogie and condoning their devil may care, dummfaakncaantnthat attitudes ey? Bro? Say it ain’t so…

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Reveri g = Revering, boogie = bogan

12 07 2010
James Hunter

TGA,
Well you see I did not say why I thought it was great. I can think of a number of reasons why it is absolutely fantyastic. Can also think of some reasons why some people may not apprecitte it.
To discuss what and why I hold these views is a whole new debate.

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Hmmm…that reply was somewhat unctuous Jimmy, left me feeling a little unsettled, like the consequent nausea of a happy meal eaten at a kiddies party back in my yoof…don’t know if I should admire the mint execution of a well practised sidestep, dismiss and deny or write it off and just wait for some more substantial posts from other, more savvy players…

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Sound of the motor and the gearing down WAS *cough* rather meatily sonorous…

12 07 2010
James Hunter

TGA,
Well you see the reply was designed to leave you feeling a little queesey. A mixture of doubt as to weather or not the piss was being taken, mabe a tad of a nastershion ducking caused by tingling self depreciation and a glimmer of the dawing of a realisiation that others out there may not actually be in awe of your repartee. When you combine this with people who not only think that your views are wrong but that they hold your defence and advocacy to be based on false premises it must truly be hard to swallow if not an actual emetic.
Trusting that this more concidered reply is more able to meet your decerning standards, Yours, as always,sincerly James Hunter.

13 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Appreciate the sincerity Jimmy. Awe? I would think awe at any of the bs i write to be somewhat misguided. I get enough awe in real life, from people that throw vast sums at me for a little of that which causes the awe. im here for the lols. If I can get a smirk from the posts here (and there are some clever ones) and i casue a snigger or two in others from my own I’m satisfied. False premises? I would appreciate your elucidation of this if you have the temerity. Still waiting to see how you reconcile liking the behavior displayed in the rendezvous clip with your denigrating similar bogan behavior. Unless some false premises are operating here also. Will understand if you don’t or won’t answer this. I won’t start walking the streets talking to myself about it if you don’t answer or anything… No biggie, just asking is all.

13 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

And please don’t be threatened with anything I say or do (not that you do), I am really benign. I am not trying to muscle in on your papa bear thing with the glee club you have going if you know what I mean.

12 07 2010
SD

Apologies for being a pedant TBL but I believe the eastern religion-y spelling is usually Bodhi.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

weird… one of my favourite comic bloggers blogged about a rip-off of this today:

http://www.heavy.com/movies/action-movies/2010/07/worst-of-netflix-octane/

12 07 2010
Jyuleeyn

A worthy contribution TBL, as always.
Am I alone in longing for an entry focusing on everyone’s favorite expression-less, has-been rock star; Slash? Or… Dare I say it… The bogan’s most prized possession; the iPhone.

I hope not.

13 07 2010
Brimstone

Given that I and most of my non-bogan friends love our iPhones and I hang out with the inner city hair metal crowd (including a guy who’s hung out with Slash) i really hope you don’t do an entry

and how the hell are iPhones bogan?

13 07 2010
Shirley M

iPhones aren’t bogan per se, but bogans sure do love them.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Brim,

I think you have just guaranteed an entry for iphones. TBL love stirring and an iphone entry is bound to get a good round of nays from the crowd.

13 07 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Be careful there, Brim comes from the home of Iphone !

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

True, and I think people have previously been iphoned on this site! They are a bit bogan though.

13 07 2010
Brimstone

what’s bogan about them? things like Ed Hardy iPhone cases are bogan but the device itself has a minimum of ‘bling’ – before iOS 4.0 you couldn’t even change your wallpaper without jailbreaking. they’re amazingly useful devices

13 07 2010
Shirley M

Nothing about them is bogan. That doesn’t mean bogans don’t like them. They like them because they are the thing to have. They consider them to be the greatest phone available so they have to have one. They generally don’t even use them to their full capabilities. They just own them, and talk loudly about the fact that they do.

13 07 2010
Brimstone

define ‘full capabilities’ though. with a zillion apps i’m sure there are things i could be using mine for that i’m not

i just wish the camera wasn’t SHIT. my old camera was 7 megapixels with a good zoom….

is there a TBL app in the future?

It will have tattoo-style fonts, flashing stuff everywhere, and all pages will be accompanied with remixes of popular tracks. It’ll basically be the best thing in the history of things. TBL

13 07 2010
Shirley M

They just use them as they would any other phone. They might get that stupid app that makes the shotgun noise or some other such nonsense.

13 07 2010
Brimstone

i’ve got the lightsaber one

16 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

They may not have shooz to wear or teef but sure as heck they will be driveling on in boguespeak into their iPhone. I have only seen old skoolers without iPhones. Seems every bogan I have come across has an iPhone.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Just stirring you up Brim. I may have to get one myself. Be quite useful for my work.

13 07 2010
Brimstone

I’ve got one on a plan. the camera and battery life are bad but they’re great otherwise

16 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Sorry I’ve been away for a few days incommunicado. Been busy with work and other things important, nice to be back.

I see an iPhone as a natural extension of my fondness for the Mac OS, of which I was using since System 7. The seamless integration of calendars between phone and laptop is effective and that I can very easily use it as a 3G modem for my MacBook whenever I’m on the go (which allows me to utilise some of my generous data allowance, thus not needing a wireless 3g key).

Unlike the bogan, I don’t have a shedload of pointless apps; the ones I use are extremely handy and make many aspects of my life a tad easier.

13 07 2010
pb

there’s a conspicuous consumption/latching on to the newest coolest thing element that can be bogan. stuff like the iphone appeals to techno geeks because they’re actually interested in the technology, and bogans because they want to have it before their friends do. so i guess it comes down to intent.

13 07 2010
Brimstone

but aren’t many tech nerds early adopters? i like it because it lets me surf the Internet, not get lost (yay GPS), take notes without my Moleskine, and do random things like identify songs (yay Shazam!). plus it’s a backup iPod and a backup gaming system

there’s a weird tendency to categorize anything pleasurable as bogan. coming soon: Things Bogans Like: Eating

‘The bogue, rather then photosynthesizing like a proper organism, takes nutrients orally. This allows it both an oppourtunity to show off and an excuse to ‘talk’ (like telepathy, only louder) with it’s ‘mates’ (the bogan prefers the company of others of it’s kind)///”

13 07 2010
pb

yes, tech nerds are early adopters, but for different reasons than bogans. i know people with iphones who fit into both categories – a tech nerd who went out and got an iphone as soon as they were available because he loves apple products and knows lots of computery stuff, and a couple of people who bought them because they were new and shiny and cool.

13 07 2010
Sten

Depends on what’s being eaten, Brimstone… it’s it’s something prepared on MasterChef, it’s Bogan.

Sorry.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

This may get a run in bribe watch but it seems the Big Red has fired the first salvo in the freebie pledging business. Almost a baby bonus. Election anyone?

JULIA Gillard will today promise parents a tax break of up to $779 for each child on the annual cost of buying school uniforms if she wins the federal election.
The Prime Minister’s first election pledge will cost about $220 million over four years and is aimed at helping ease the cost of living on families.

13 07 2010
AntiPajero

Werking families, or the other kind?

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I don’t think jerbs are a prerequiste to claim the cash. Just filing a tax return.

13 07 2010
martin

Ergh. More welfare for bogans. -1 Julia. Where’s my f$cken free money bitch?

Since when does a f$cken uniform cost anywhere in that vicinity? You could get a really nice yuppy greaseball suit for a thousand bucks.

The world is demented.

13 07 2010
pb

i was wondering how a uniform could cost that much too. if you’re kids are at a school where uniforms are that expensive, you don’t need any cash from the government to pay for them.

13 07 2010
Mick

Bogan kiddies eat a lot. They probably grow through four sets of uniforms a year.

13 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ MArty
My older kids go to public school and their uniforms just cost me $500. It’s unreal.

They should do something about the pricing, not give out money. Bloody noobs.

13 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
Parents of kids at private schools buy expensive uniforms because they cant have their brats turning up in anything less then their peers or the little didums might become social outcasts among the lot of understanding types they go to school with.
It is also my postulation that any one stupid enough to send a child to a school costing what most of the private ones do is also stupid enough to spend their filthy lucre on overpriced school uniforms.
Of course a lot of these parents do all this so that their brood will not have to mix with ordinary people and concidering that they expect them to become Economists , bankers and lawyers I suppose they do not expect they will ever have to mix with mear mortals. Other then across a cash register(virtual) so to speak.

13 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH

Dude, I went to a private girls school here in Melbourne. My mum told me to either get a job and buy my own over priced, poorly made clothes or shut up. 😀 I was 14 at the time. So I did just that. And so did all my friends. We all worked at Macca’s and had a ball. 😀

My kids go to a public school. They have to have uniforms now, cuts out elitism or something. $500 bucks for a uniform. Unbelievable. I am still shaking my head at how a public school shirt can cost $45 for a 9 year old!

13 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
A lot of my friends from primary school went to private for secondary because they lived in the country and realy had no option. This is still the case for may.
I do take some exception to those who do it only for reasons of elitism. I am sure it engenders bad attitudes in the kids.
The 49 .00 shirt for a 9 year old probably cost the store 3.00 from china and would be no better then what you would get at Kmart ,Bigw or Target. When I was much younger and living in Sydney I used to buy all my business shirts at David Jones because their in hous generic “St James ” shirt was the ewqual of an of the higher priced ones.
I have a sister in law who does all her shoppig at Woolworts because they are the only place to get quality groceries!!!! She doesnt have trouble eating when she visits though even though our pantry is bulging with Franklins and Aldi home brands. Can no understand some one going to Woolworth to pay 28.00 per kg for rump steak that I can get every day of the week at Aldi for 9.95
when it is cooked and on the plate no one knows where it came from

14 07 2010
miss dahl

Don’t they recycle school uniforms nowadays? I went to a catholic girls’ school and all my uniform parts (except for the shirt, socks & shoes) were hand-me-downs from older girls. Saved my mother a packet.

13 07 2010
martin

That’s sick Pinky. You should go and glass the headmaster. Or whoever’s fault it is. Probably some do gooder wankers on the P&C comittee.

I suppose it would add up though. I wore white shirts and grey shorts. Probably need 3-5 of each. I guess it’s a fair policy then. But I heard it’s only on tax benefit A? So that penalises people who put in more effort to become who they are? So I’m not so sure.

But it could be rorted. The parents could buy other clothes that aren’t for school to claim the maximum $785 or whatever it is. So now it wreaks of Pink Batts.

Sometimes I can see why there are people who want zero government interference in anything.

13 07 2010
Sten

Jeez, Pinky… my whole wardrobe probably isn’t worth that. it’s all made in China, so why so expensive? Probably because it’s something the little darlings MUST have, therefore no alternative but to pay through the nose. It’s criminal.

Mind you, I do need to buy some new clothes. But I’ll keep on procrastinating because I hate shopping. Especially for clothes.

13 07 2010
Pinky Has A Brain

@ JH, Sten and Marty-Monster,

It’s the bloody school crest. That’s it. I looked at a school jacket and it was $45! I couldn’t afford it so I went a bought two plain jackets from Target.

I haven’t even bought all of the uniform yet. I refused to pay $45 for boys school shorts as that is stupid pricing and I have bought them before thinking that they would last longer and they didn’t.

Next stop, second hand uniform shop. If I wasn’t desperate I would have waited for school to start. You know what else sh!ts me!? The fact that the boys have different pants to the girls. Makes it hard when you have a boy and a girl to hand things down too. Grr

@JH
I am a pretty tight when it comes to spending money. I like to buy quality things but will look and look until I find the price I am willing to pay. But I wont buy a “brand name” for the sake of the name.
There are many cheaper, good quality options. I do spend a lot on food because Mr Pinky and I are a bit fussy and like to buy organic, fair trade as much as possible.

I went to my school because I got in. It was an academic acceptance school and unless you passed the exam you couldn’t go. Clearly I didn’t get in on my spelling and grammar. The only other way in was via having a relative as a past student. My Grandfather went to the boys school so I was able to tick both boxes.

I went to public primary school because my mum wasn’t big on K-12 private education. She said that there was always something weird about kids who were 100% privately educated. LOL

13 07 2010
Sten

It’s a rip-off, isn’t it, Pinky? When I was in primary school, you didn’t go to a uniform shop. You just bought the generic light blue shirt and grey pants at Lowes, the same as all the other kids.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/julia-gillards-first-election-pledge-is-to-offer-tax-breaks-on-school-uniforms/comments-e6frf7l6-1225890934125

Surprisingly the reaction is all negative. Been seen universally as a blatant vote buy. Did you comment Martin?

martin of south yarra Posted at 10:26 PM July 12, 2010
I’m tired of paying taxes for government handouts and tax breaks for families. How about a government handout or tax break for people who choose to be single who won’t be adding to the future stress on population, environment and healthcare!

13 07 2010
martin

Nup. Not me. How dare someone else be called martin. He kind of sounds like me too. There’s a fairfax poll and it was 70% positive.

That’s it pb, the only school uniform that is going to cost that much is a private school uniform. Imo those uniforms do nothing other than turn kids into snotty, annoying little twats.

13 07 2010
Shirley M

I think you guys might be surprised how much it costs to provide a kid with school uniforms. I’m not saying that I agree with the rebate necessarily, but when you add up all the bits and pieces, for summer and winter, it doesn’t come cheap.

13 07 2010
Sten

Summer AND winter? Bugger that – I wore pants year-round!

13 07 2010
martin

We wore trackies in winter. Lol real classy. But we didn’t give a shit, we were happy and it was still a time when Australia was Australia. Not the pretentious wank fest it’s become.

13 07 2010
Sten

Yeah, I wore trackies on sports days before the Principal at my school tsrated to suffer delusions of grandeur.

13 07 2010
13 07 2010
Pandabater

Yo Bro!

13 07 2010
Sten

He’s done so much for football in this country, and now he comes down on the side of good taste.

Two reasons for the Bogue to hate Lowy.

13 07 2010
13 07 2010
13 07 2010
martin

Amazing. Something actually worth watching on TV. I hope they stir up the talkback people and create a furore.

13 07 2010
Brimstone

it’s like The Onion and The Daily Show mated and had a baby from 10 years ago

and it’s still the only halfway decent comedy on Aus TV

13 07 2010
Sten

Absolutely. Anything that gets those fever-brained right-wing maniacs stirred up must be something worth supporting. Goddamn it, I hate, hate, HATE talkback.

What’s worse, is there are people out there who consider themselves “informed” because they listen to Laws and Jones et. al. Ubelievable.

Still, at least we don’t have folks like Rush Limbaugh out here (and his army of “dittoheads”: wilfully misinformed fuckwits. People like him should be burned alive on principle.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Would you like a broken stubby Sten?

13 07 2010
Sten

What for, Simon? I’d rather a longneck full of petrol and stuffed with a burning rag. 😀

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Sten – Immolation Expert.

13 07 2010
Sten

Well, yes, I’ve had a bit of experience with certain home-made devices.

13 07 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Give the man an “Indian Necklace” ??

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Sten’s the expert. I am sure he will take this on board.

13 07 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Next thing Sten will have us all saving all styrofoam packing for his napalm workshop.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Don’t you already?

13 07 2010
Sten

Ahahahahahaha… closer to the truth than you might suspect, James.

I’d prefer to use a more carbon-neutral incendiary though.

13 07 2010
common man

lol!!

13 07 2010
James Hunter

Sten,
Yeh , but you cant buy Lux soap flakes anymore and the abatoir get a bit chary if you go in and ask for a bucket of blood. bugger.

13 07 2010
Ross

I just discovered this blog today. Very amusing.

13 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Dudes and dudettes, we are in the news again. TBL is hailed as the bogan guidbook. I just feel so proud. Susie O’Brien is watching us.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/no-need-for-a-makeover/story-e6frfhqf-1225890916309

Ultimately, the signs are looking good for the boss bogan.

Thingsboganslike – perhaps the best online port of call for the voice of bogan authority – says Gillard “knows the importance of the bogan vote, and will stop at nothing to get it”.

But it won’t be plain sailing. “In the bogan booth, however, the bogan will pause, concerned about the prospect of being told what to do by a woman,” the site says.

Let’s just hope Gillard ultimately does enough to make sure the bogue stays in vogue.

13 07 2010
Sten

Eh, as long as she panders to the Fuck Off We’re Full crowd, it’ll be sweet as for Julia.

16 07 2010
julie

Are these “films” still kicking around? (*shudder*)

21 07 2010
lampang2car.com

Sports car is the wish of all car lovers. Although these luxury cars are the pride of every owner, including the object of envy of a neighbor

23 07 2010
Dr Lazlo Panaflex

I saw this at the movies with a mate. Yes, I know…but we were stoned and bored. I think halfway through the movie when we were laughing heartily at Vin Diesel’s vapid and cliched one-liners we realised that we weren’t watching a comedy. You could almost feel the stares from the other movie-goers.

The fully sick skids in the parking lot afterwards were something to behold.

To this day, my mate and I crack up at even the smallest mention of “I live my life a 1/4 mile at a time” and “they won’t take me back to prison alive…”

28 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

pffft.
when one wants to go fast one acquires for one’s self an motorbicycle.
Anything else is just a waste of time.

(chubbybloodfart drives landcruiser 78 troopy and garages WMII Stater. Chubby still dreams of 1975 900SS)

28 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

when one wants to get furious one punches a hole in one’s fuel tank somewhere between Coen and Musgrave Roadhouse.

28 07 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
or breaks a chain on a kwaka900 and ventilates the back of the gearbox at Guyra in middle of winter

29 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

aaah…
I had an old yammy 500 single detonate its single piston as I wound down an on ramp on to the Hume outside Moss Vale at midnight.
Pushed it home to Wingello along the freeway.

I will also proudly claim a K2four with Norton Fastback Tank and ducktail on it. little clip ons. sweet bike. a Z1B, still the original tank shape, fat old bessie used to flex in the middle like it was articulated, a 74Sporty with a maroon sort of fat bob tank and buckhorn bars which spent most of it’s life in a shed with some f#cking electrical mystery or other while I actually rode an A2GPZ9. Probably my favourite bike. I traded it for a ZXR750. I think it was an L1, before they started calling the things Ninjas. Sick Bike. SBK champion I think.
I spattered my knee open on it when I clipped an 😄 falcon. Kept the Bike upright but, and rode myself to hospital.
oh there was a CB750k in there too somewhere; a poxy soulless 80’s Universal Japanese Motorcycle. I hated it.
Fast and Furious.
never saw the films. car hoons are dickheads. no balls.

24 12 2010
LLP

These films cater to traitor wogs, Lebs and overseas Asian students.
Who like those Rice buckets from Japan.
Real Aussies/wogs that grew up here dont go in for this stuff.

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