Bogan Bribe Watch – July 2nd

2 07 2010

The bogan likes ACTION. ACTION in every part of its life. ACTION so intense that its unruly sugar-infused child simply must have ADHD. It follows, therefore, that its political leaders need to be ACTION heroes. The only problem with this, is that the Australian political landscape has been ACTION-free since Mark Latham’s ACTIONS were declared too maxtreme for the ALP. Kevin Rudd was a nerd, Malcolm Turnbull a self-satisfied banker, and Julia Gillard is shacked up with a former hairdresser.

Earlier, a young man was studying to be a priest at the St Patrick’s Seminary. In a moment of clarity, he strode out of the seminary, and seeing that he was situated in the suburb of Manly, he realised his true calling. ACTION. Tearing off his robes, Abbott revealed a rippling and hirsute body, clad only in a triangular aquatic loincloth. He would tell people of his earlier career in boxing. He would become a firefighter. He would conquer oceans with his bare hands and a swimming cap. He would be the ACTION hero that the bogan could believe in. In fact, when he needed to scare bogans about Invading Communist Muslims, he promised to take ACTION with red arrows.

It follows then, that when Julia Gillard was revealed as his election opponent in 2010, Abbott would respond with ACTION. Not resting on his previous ACTION laurels, he created an ACTION CONTRACT with the bogan to underpin his credibility. This ACTION CONTRACT features liberal smatterings of Abbott’s signature, with a 12 point ACTION PLAN to crush Labor’s budget debt, destroy wasteful policies, crunch the mining tax, hammer illegal immigrants, slaughter carbon, smash criminals, and terminate dole bludgers. The bogan impatiently awaits a range of ACTION figures depicting Abbott taking DIRECT ACTION on anything that the bogan does not like.

To the bogan, the signature is of crucial importance. When Abbott appeared on channel 2 sometime and said that he was always lying unless he was reading off a piece of paper, the bogan, in an example of the mental gymnastics only it is really capable of, decided to laud Abbott’s honesty. So now that he has applied his John Hancock to each of his 12 ACTION PLAN points, the bogan is certain that these are gospel truth.

This is ideal for the bogan, who will never read the ACTION PLAN, nor ever learn more than one of its 12 points. All the bogan needs to know is that its Prime Minister will look after it, protect its codified rights, and deny those same rights to desperate illegals arriving by boat. The bogan dislikes illegal things, unless it is doing them. When confronted with disagreement, the bogan will simply refer to the action plan, and go back to watching Masterchef. Unfortunately, by polling day, the bogan will forget this ACTION CONTRACT ever existed.

Liberal Score: 5 A-Team Episodes out of 10


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135 responses

2 07 2010
Shirley M

What a clown shoes. Abbott, that is.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

That’s a bit harsh on clowns Shirl. I know they are evil but they aren’t that evil. 🙂

2 07 2010
Shirley M

Not the whole clown. Just the shoes. And I don’t think Abbott is evil. Just ridiculously over-inflated and stupid. Clown shoes.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Bahahaha indeed!!

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinky,
How about fony rabbit in the old Wonder Woman costume ?

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Please no, just the thought makes me want to spew

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Thank you TBL you have made my morning. I now have Tony abbott in my head looking like a GI Joe doll in a maxxxtreme Lycra loin cloth and priest outfit bahahahahaha

2 07 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Abbott should have been the one being hit over the head on ch 9 recently – don’t know what show it was on but saw eddie the broadie boy defending it – it maybe acceptable behaviour for broady boys and collingwood supporters but for the rest of us, nah!

2 07 2010
Gavin

I’ll be honest and say I expected a little more guys.. With so much else happening in politics at the moment you really did take the easy way out bagging Abbott.

Fair enough, but surely the libs’ ONLY policy statement of any note in the past few months warrants some attention. The easy way out would’ve been yet another Gillard piece. And besides, we’re not really mocking People Skills, but the ACTION PLAN. Bogans enjoy ACTION. And capital letters. TBL

2 07 2010
Frazer

Their can never be enough Dr No bashing

5 07 2010
Gavin

Point well made guys..

2 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

nice!
I understand absolutely none of this.
which is a good thing.
I am not a Bogan.

I am slightly surprised today’s offering was not retitled “Impoverished Mining Industry on the Brink of Ruin Bribe Watch”
but there y’ go.
(chubbybloodfart retreating to pedant watch. Start the clock.)

2 07 2010
Stu Man Chai Latte

I someone a little bitter after being bumped by the Mad Monk?

2 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

@gavin
fair call. but I think these posts are intended at the complex relationship between the political parties and the “what’s in it for me bogue”

bring on the abbott bash.
I’m personally pretty much impervious to anything which falls out of his smarmy gob…
Except that laugh of his. Ye Gods!
everytime he laughs it’s almost drowned out by the violent death screams of pixies and unicorns, and weeping children’s nightmares.

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
Just think of fonyrabbi like i do as a cartoon charachet.I always picture him wearing white glove with three fingers.like miky mouse. the ace with those ears lends itself to mental manipulation . ? Or is it manifulation of the visulisation ? whatever

2 07 2010
Sibyl Ince

Need a proof reader?

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Sibyl,
not realy , I have you and Pete babe

2 07 2010
Sibyl Ince

Well, at 20c a word (for the entire text, not just the errors) it’s a very competitive rate, so just yell out of you change your mind 😉

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Sibyl,
well now we know what you are lets re negotiate the rate

2 07 2010
Sibyl Ince

I’m going to have to drop that rate, considering my own daily typo.

2 07 2010
francdux

“I’ll be honest and say I expected a little more guys.. With so much else happening in politics at the moment you really did take the easy way out bagging Abbott..”

They bagged Gillard a few days ago moron. Scroll down and have a look or is that the ‘easy’ way out. Go wash your wet blanket Gavin

2 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

#tweet love at haters.

2 07 2010
djm

I think think Barnaby Joyce is the bigger bogan political hero; “he tells it like it is”

2 07 2010
djm

ergh, “I _still_ think”

2 07 2010
James Hunter

djm,
there is no doubt that carnival joyce would have em rolling in the isles if he went on tour as a comedy show. he is even screamingly funny on radio. maybe a “Carnival Spot” every day on radio with words from the mouth of carnival joyce.

2 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

For Vivisection,

We now have a Ranga, Atheist, childless, unmarried, female PM and even she is anti gay marriage. Hard for you guys to get a break huh.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

She’s not an atheist. If she were gay marriage wouldn’t be an issue and would be legalised. I’m really really pissed about

2 07 2010
Amanda

Unfortunately, atheists only have one thing in common, the lack of belief in a god. We can have varying beliefs when it comes to anything else, even if the main point of the anti-gay marriage movement is to do with the bible. Some people just find it unnatural/wrong.

That being said, I’m pissed too. Not being able to marrying who I wish, is an important issue to me, and I thought too that having an atheist as PM might give the issue a little more fairness.

2 07 2010
Amanda

*marry

2 07 2010
Shirley M

I’d like to see marriage banned for everybody.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Amanda

Atheist have a lot more than just lack of belief. Every atheist I know can see no reason to not allow everyone to marry.

You should be allowed to marry whom ever you want. You should have the choice. It’s disgusting how far behind the rest of the world we are. Obviously not talking about the states. But the UK has passed the law and nothing bad as happened. I’m sick of the Religitard Right telling people that they are wrong for wanting what is right.

2 07 2010
Amanda

I’ve met atheists that believe in the stupidest things out there….and I’ve met some that unfortunately just aren’t very tolerant of gays. Which is sad, but I guess there’s always going to be a bad few in a group.

(Sorry for being argumentative..I think I have been listen to Matt too much from the Atheist Experience. 🙂

And yeah. I always thought that Australia was more tolerant and civilized than the U.S, but it turns out that at least in some states, I can have a basic right that everyone should be able to have, and one that I can’t have here in “wonderful” Australia. It makes me sick to think that the religious can dictate who I can’t marry, when I don’t prescribe to their beliefs, and when their religion shouldn’t even matter when it comes to the law.

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Amanda,
I have met more then a few christians that believe the stupidist things too and who are not even tolerant of christian religions other then their own.
Even though I understand the christian religion to preach tolerance there are not many amongst those that i have met that werte tolerant of anything certainly not gays.

2 07 2010
Amanda

I know, I wasn’t saying religion is more tolerant or anything. It’s quite funny that, isn’t it? They scream bloody murder when they think some other group isn’t tolerating or respecting their religion, and yet they still can’t agree within Christianity which one is the “true” way to God, and certainly can’t respect each other either.

Of course, I’m generalizing, I’ve met some very lovely Christians, and although I don’t agree with their views or beliefs, they were respectful.

And as I said, I’ve met some intolerant Atheists as well, but with that, I think it comes down to what kind of person you are. Atheism doesn’t make you hate gays, or be intolerant of anything, because of course it’s simply a rejection of God (or gods), and has nothing to do with any of those issues.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough today, and not even on topic! Sorry.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Amanda
You’re talking to the wrong atheists then. A true atheist believes in rational argument and as there no rational argument against same sex marriages no true atheist would back the denial of registered legal marriage.

If your not a member of the AFA forum, you should. I’m there look for pinky 😉

3 07 2010
common man

??rational=role models for kids an what they see,instilling such wrong morals is as bad as not knowing why men and women have different genitals that were made for opposite fits,the muddy trial is not normal even if there brain tells them so..hence i look at it like a mental disability

2 07 2010
AntiPajero

Lack of a belief in god(s) is different to a belief that there is no god. Or gods. Julia’s probably in the “Lack of belief” category. As are most Australians.

2 07 2010
Beeb

I’ts not a personal opinion of the PM – Gay marriage is against Labour’s policy.

2 07 2010
vivisection

No Beeb, she was asked if it was also her personal belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman and she said it was.

2 07 2010
Beeb

She also said it was labour policy and she would not be changing labour policy. That’s what I read in the paper.

2 07 2010
Shirley M

Meanwhile, Iceland’s PM or whatever she is just got married to the woman of her dreams.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Shirley

We are so backward. It’s really embarrassing.

2 07 2010
Sibyl Ince

Yeah well as long as vey’re doing it over veeeee, eh, and not over heeeee.

2 07 2010
vivisection

I wonder if the Icelandic PM’s partner would be recognised by our govt as her spouse if she ever came to visit? Or would they get separate bedrooms?

2 07 2010
Shirley M

One room, two single beds, Viv. It’s the ‘OK so you’re in love and that’s nice, but we shall not be facilitating your muff licking in this country’ stance. It’s about respect, you see?

2 07 2010
Mick

There will still be muff licking but it will be at a bedtime tax of 30% instead of 40%.

I hate these scare campaigns.

2 07 2010
vivisection

Just goes to show that hypocrisy comes in many forms. I think all gay people who work in the wedding industry should strike until this issue is addressed – cut your own f#cking hair and flowers. Design your own dresses, do your own makeup , cater your own part and serve the food and your booze yourselves.

2 07 2010
miss dahl

The wedding industry is HUGELY lucrative and totally cutthroat. NO amount of idealism will get in the way of making big bucks -ever. That is the way of the world, mon ami.

2 07 2010
vivisection

You’d think they’d be lobbying like born again christians to open up and legalise the gay market then.

2 07 2010
miss dahl

Defacto relationships are recognised as valid and their rights are quite the same as the regular marrieds with respect to the important stuff like property, inheritance, progeny etc. I just don’t know what the fuss is all about, to be really honest with you.

2 07 2010
Shirley M

No, it isn’t quite the same at all.

2 07 2010
vivisection

A few reasons to fuss.

Personal: Impact on the individual gay person and their family

1. Under relationship register models queer couples are not allowed to hold a legally sanctioned ceremony to show their commitment to each other if it resembles a marriage. Why not? Why can’t I invite my family and friends along to witness my commitment to and love of my partner of ten and a half years. My sister, who had not once set foot in a church before her wedding day, knew her husband for all of 12 months before they were allowed to legally marry in a church.

Civic: Impacts on society as a whole

1.If defacto relationships are all we need, why not acknowledge the pointlessness of marriage as an institution and disallow everyone from it? If we are going to acknowledge its validity, why should some people be excluded. It is not a religious institution, it is civil. The Church gave up the management and control of marriage over 300 years ago and it has been under Civil administration since (in western culture at least). Why should a Govt deny its own tax paying citizens access to an institution it controls?

2. By refusing to offer equal rights to access this institution a message is sent out that discrimination is acceptable. This impacts everybody.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

“2. By refusing to offer equal rights to access this institution a message is sent out that discrimination is acceptable. This impacts everybody.”

Thank you Vivi.

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
9,8,9,9,9straight to the grand final.

2 07 2010
vivisection

JH : you’re too kind!

2 07 2010
SD

Viv not disagreeing with your points above.

Was just curious as to how many gay people aren’t in favour of gay marriage.

I mean I couldn’t imagine someone in the mould of say Derek Jarman being pro (though I may be wrong) – is there a conflict in that for some part of gay identity is in being outside societal institutions?

As a lighter aside I was reading a piece by young Indian+Chinese gays in the US – once the shock of coming out was over, it was their parents who became lobbyists for gay marriage fulfiliing traditional Asian parents stereotype 🙂

Afterthought – how many parents lobby for marriage – would that have an impact on policy makers?

2 07 2010
vivisection

SD, my understanding (though I don’t have any references with me) is that surveys show that a majority of gay couples said they would marry if given the opportunity. I think this is increasing in number given the high number of children being born into gay relationships – parents feel they should formalise arrangements etc.

I personally don’t see any point to marriage and probably wouldn’t get married as I think weddings are a waste of money that could be better spent on a holiday. But I’m jaded and cynical. I love my partner and he knows it. He loves me and i know it. That’s enough for us. The dog is basta#d, and we are ok with that.

Like all members of society gay people are a mixed bunch , some more conservative than others, many are christian/religious/spiritual types as well. These guys and gals would probably embrace the institution of marriage with more sincerity and integrity than most heterosexuals. Others like myself don’t feel the need to participate in these institutions.

I think that what we all have in common is wanting the option and would appreciate the symbolic acceptance of our equal humanity by having it offered to us as a choice.

My mother has been in my ear about having a commitment ceremony in the past. She thinks that as a society in general we don’t celebrate milestones / significant events enough. Which is probably a fair point. Still, I’d prefer a holiday for Mr Viv and I then feeding and boozing up that lot.

Mr Viv and I have thought about getting married so we can have a gift registry to get some of our $$ back that we have shelled out over the years. But we aren’t that shallow, yet. Maybe when the clothes dryer breaks down next. 🙂

2 07 2010
vivisection

or i’ll dress up like a Greek bride and everyone can pin cash to me 🙂

2 07 2010
SD

As ever thanks Viv!

I agree re the option, it’s really up to the individuals and families concerned as to what they want.

Mr SD and I belong to different religions so we had a ultra low key affair, out of preference and the general parental embarrassment over it. So I get what you mean about handing out the $$$. So may much cash be pinned on your Greek goddess drape!

2 07 2010
vivisection

No worries SD. Guys, I’m heading off for a week in sunny Brisvegas, will be busy defrosting and won’t be around much for the next week or so. be nice.

2 07 2010
Tombarina

Or up the cheese factor by about 7 million percent, and have a wishing well. Nothing twee or tacky – just a subtle bedazzled card sent to people with a classy-as inscription…something like:

“We hope that you will not be miffed
If we ask you not to buy a gift
You see we have already filled our home
We even have a garden gnome!

But there is one thing that we would like
To tell the landlord to take a hike
We’ve been saving hard to buy a house
But if you could help it would be grouse.”

2 07 2010
Shirley M

Viv, I’ve been freezing my tits off all week, so I don’t think you’ll be doing much defrosting. Bring your woolies, dude.

2 07 2010
SD

@Tomabrina, hilarious!

2 07 2010
miss dahl

Habving been a bridesmaid several times, I have been a bridesmaid at more than Greek wedding in my time. Once I even had the privelege of being entrusted with the bridal purse. Well, I had to count it, just couldn’t help myself, could I? It’s true, being a Greek bride is a very good start to one’s married life. If the bride doesn’t like haven’t the $$$ pinned on her (expensive) designer gown, she can take in in a plain A5 mailer. Ah well, I’ve never dated Greek guys …

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Vivi

I think it’s about having the choice. I’m straight and I have the choice to marry Mr Pinky or not. If I choose not too and kick the bucket before him, he’s entitled to my estate. Is Mr Vivi entitled? (I’m not sure)

Whether or not you and Mr Vivi do or don’t get married, you have the right to choose.

If Mr Pinky ever drops the question do you wanna make my dress for me? I would be very honoured…

3 07 2010
common man

umm are we all forgeting aus is a commonwealth country that had strong religous views for over 1000 years?? to change that overnight will never happen..no offence just being a realist!!!!

2 07 2010
Adam

Don’t agree with this one…there is nothing more bogan than some VB drinking miner with his lowered falcon who is part of the workers union and votes for a communist party such a Labor. The liberal party is supposedly for rich snobs, hence this thing against Abbott is wrong.

Not certain how many times we’ll need to point this out, but let’s try not to bundle the bogan in as merely being ‘poor and uneducated’. The bogan is much, much more than that. TBL

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

A few more times I would say TBL… Very frustrating.

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster, maybe Adam is a closet liberal ?

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

Well it’s a see through closet then. I’m thinking a hybrid of Religitard/Liberal… Oh my, the worst kind of hybrid

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
That is a perfect fit for foney rabbit

2 07 2010
MJ

The Liberal Party held power for close to 12 years by expanding its appeal well beyond rich snobs. There are not enough rich snobs to get such a party elected. Heard the phrase, ‘Howard Battler’? In any case, VB drinking miners are precisely the bogan subset that is NOT supporting the “communist party such a Labor”. So much so that, prior to Rudd’s ignominious departure, Labor as staring down the prospect of losing all seats in WA to the Libs/Nationals.

2 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

“A communist party such a (sic) Labor”.

Where do I start with this one? Do you even know what communism is Adam? Are you familiar with the writings of Karl Marx and V.I. Lenin?

2 07 2010
James Hunter

James (not me)
Marx “wrote the book” one would have to say Lenin didn’t realy follow it to my mind as he reverved the relationship between economics and politics and by the time we get to Stalin ,well purges , famins and gulags were hardly of the people and for the people. if you will excuse an anacronistic metaphore?
Adam probably knows not enough to join in this conversation but he may learn from the restr of us >

2 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Indeed JH. I can’t help but get a little offended when people throw the word “communist” around like that though. It is an insult to everyone who died in those gulags, or in the Great Leap Forward to equate the ALP with communism. We really need a Godwin’s Law for spurious communist analogies so we can put them to rest.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

James Not H

As the PM, can Gillard do anything about the Labour policy against same sex marriage?

Off Topic:
I have a sudden urge to watch Hollowmen.

2 07 2010
vivisection

Pinky, she could allow MP’s a conscience vote on the issue, allowing them to deviate from Party Policy.

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
For that to happen first thing you need is some independent mp to moove a “Private Menbers Bill” so they have something to vote on.
Maybe Nick Xenophon would do it. or maybe a Green ?

2 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

She would also have to convince Caucus to allow ALP members to vote along with their conscience. The ALP has much tighter rules about voting against the will of Caucus than does the Liberal Party. If she could ensure a genuine conscience vote with a guarantee of no repercussions, it is possible.

3 07 2010
Alister

Already happened. Sarah Hanson-Young moved such a bill in the Senate. Guess which two parties voted against (three if you include the Nationals)?

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I didn’t realise that polly’s have a conscience in order to vote… 😉

But yes she should. We should set up a lobby. If the Religitards can lobby, so can we.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ James not H

If that were to happen what would be you guess as to the results?

2 07 2010
Mick

Miners don’t drink VB. We dring Japanese Sapporo that is brewed in Turkey.

I thought every wannabe pedant knew that.

2 07 2010
Beeb

What a truly dreadful photo. He is grinning like an idiot. At least we’ve been spared the speedos …

2 07 2010
James Hunter

What you mean grinning like an idjit ?
he’s just trying to be himself !

2 07 2010
Mick

The bogan will be very impressed by the signature on the bottom of each one of the 12 points of the action contract. That means something.

Why doesn’t the bogan have the same respect for his own signature when it’s on the bottom of a financial type contract? Any type of contract really. When waved in front of him there is anger. Yes, they signed it but thought it meant something else. It’s a con. The Man is trying to put him down. It is something to be ranted and raved at then ultimately ignored.

I have often wondered about this.

2 07 2010
Will S

And why do ACA et al portray various organisations as evil for enforcing the terms of contracts voluntarily signed? :/

2 07 2010
Tombarina

I’d say T-Abb has ma$$$ive bogan appeal.

Apart from the action stuff, he has “Ab” in his name, just like the AbMaxxx 2000, so clearly he’s a man who understands the importance of getting, and staying, huge.

He has three hot daughters and always looks not-quite-right in a suit, rather like the bogan throng at Randwick. (Although, to be fair, Tone’s suits aren’t radioactive lime green suits, topped off with a spiffy fedora.)

T-Abb looks as though, in another life under other circumstances, he could be a glasser par excellence.

His maniacally-hearty laugh and super-enthusiastic handshaking barely papers over his inner pit bull, which would disembowel Nanna with nary a blink of its cold, dark shark-eyes. That would appeal to the bogue, which also fancies itself as a hard b@stard who’s not to be messed with.

If Da T Man gets himself a tribal tatt and gets (ahem) ‘caught out’ calling someone a f&$%in’ k@@@@@rnt – or, even better, a raghead – the election’s in the bag.

2 07 2010
martin

His daughters aren’t hot at all. The only thing going for them is that they’re Catholic. I would say Catholicism is the most bogan religion seeing as you can do what you want and just be forgiven for it and you’re discouraged from thinking for yourself. In my experience Catholic school girls are a little more liberal with their bodies than their protestant private school counterparts.

I’m just wondering what the Liberal Party is going to do to differentiate itself to get the bogan vote. They’ve said nothing about the firewall, they’ve “backflipped” on the ETS or climate change or whatever it is, they’ve given the same meaningless words regarding the obscene amount of immigration we have, ie we sympathise but we ain’t gonna do anything because big biz likes lots of people, they’ve said they’re going to be tough on border protection but even the bogan knows that there’s only a few thousand of them so who cares.

I really think the Liberals don’t want to win. I think the Illuminati and the Freemasons have told them that they can’t have it and they’ve accepted it.

2 07 2010
martin

And besides, it will be fun to have a ranga for a PM so you can say ranga a lot.

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Martin,
How on earth is being catholic “something going for them ?
Most every one I know wouls take that as a negative. !
Re obscene amounts of immigration. How much exactly and in what quantities do you propose ? If you were to reduce it would you cut out the tradies and engineers that our industry and particularly resource sector rely on ? would you cut out family reunions ? How about cutting out foreign doctors and nurses for surely enough we need them ? With our aging population and without increased population we will need increased taxation to pay our way and where will we get the aged care workers from?
Broad brush negative statements are easy to make but realisticaslly meaningless unless supported by a rational alternative.

2 07 2010
martin

I’m saying the bogan would probably prefer catholics.

Well I’m all for importing more doctors and nurses. I’m sure there is a rational alternative. Maybe you could read this book http://www.australianpoet.com/overloading.html .

You know half our tax goes to welfare. Well last I looked..so that’d be a start. Maybe old people could downsize and live in apartments? Instead of the young, who need houses to breed the next generation having to do so.

2 07 2010
martin

Anyway what would be wrong with paying a bit more tax if you didn’t have the problems that come with overpopulation? We get more than enough things as it is.

I’d be happy to pay a bit more tax if house prices were a lot cheaper, transport wasn’t so phucked, and there wasn’t just this underlying mean spirited attitude that comes with being terrified of having yourself or your children being apart of the new decrepid and hapless underclass that all overpopulated places have.

2 07 2010
martin

Oh and btw it’s not decrepid it’s decrepit. Sorry.

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Marty

Clearly you didn’t meet the girls I went to school with. Would have given the Catholic Girls a run for the money in the “comfortable expressing their sexuality with many many boys” Department.

I was frightened of talking to boys I liked, so my reputation was safe. 😉

2 07 2010
martin

Maybe I’m just grateful for the good times I had with the catholic girls I hung out with. Plus there’s an old song by the red hot chilli peppers called ‘catholic school girls rule’.

2 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I wonder if The Mad Monk’s announcement of $1B towards mental health is something that’d be required, should the spectre of a Coalition Government manifest once again: having faith-based social initiatives and WorkChoices MkII would induce additional headfnckery for a significant number of the people, especially those identified to minority groups, which are the easiest for the status quo to beat up self-righteously.

2 07 2010
Pandabater

He hates tax, he loves action,
He’s got an X in his name.
He’s a bit hairy but, thats OK
He is…….

TAXION MANNNNNN!!!!!

Coming to save the bogues from
the evil Rangawoman.

TAXION MAN & his faithfull sidekick,
THE PUCK will smash the commies,
throw out the bludgers & the foreigners
& save Straya for the Strayans.

TAXION MAN

2 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Panda

Your HILARIOUS!

2 07 2010
.

The use of the word “Bogan” has lost it’s power, now the overuse has become tired and dull.Every second new site feedback rants about”bogans”.IT was all new and midly amusing once, 2years ago.
It has lost traction….

2 07 2010
Pandabater

Welcome back dot, do you have an alternative?
What about CUNTC (Caring Understanding Non Threatening Citizen)

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Pandabaiter,
I think “Period’s” psudonym of “.” is the end of it all ?

2 07 2010
martin

I’ve found the bogans that I know of to be more humble rather than to be engaging in their usual hubris. I think it’s working.

2 07 2010
Shirley M

The term bogan was not new 2 years ago, poppet, but don’t let the truth stand in the way of a good whinge, will you?

2 07 2010
James Hunter

Shirley M,
“Poppet”
fantastic, soooo descriptive. I pavent heard it used for ages
Just by the by did you know that “a poppet is also a type of very simple valve used in various engineering applications , often to relieve excesive pressures. ?

2 07 2010
Shirley M

I did not know that, JH. Perhaps it will even come in useful some day.

3 07 2010
.

I know that
dickhead

3 07 2010
James Hunter

wow

3 07 2010
Shirley M

Oh I’m sorry. I guess I got confused when you said ‘It was all new and midly amusing once, 2years ago’.

3 07 2010
.

This whole site is about whingeing shirley, all everyone does is moan, whine & bitch.
If you drink the wrong juice, have the wrong shirt or opinions then off the chain and at the throat, like rabies filled mutts. When you are all done and dusted there is much back slapping and some low forms of wit all round, until the next moan within a week. It is purely designed to fool a small but meaningless group of people of their imagined superiority.Sadly for you they are often minority opinions that leave you rejected in much of your life so you all gather here in your little cluck to feel “included”, somehow-somewhere.

3 07 2010
James Hunter

Period,
what is your excuse ?

3 07 2010
Will S

or maybe ur taking this place way too seriously o.O

3 07 2010
Shirley M

No, this site is about satire.

Satire: A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.

3 07 2010
miss dahl

Well, -, you can feel free to be satisfied that your contributions here keep everyone on their toes and everything balanced! BTW, is “-” as your moniker supposed to mean something? I just wondered because it seems like you aren’t being imaginative enough.

3 07 2010
Tombarina

“…whole site is about whingeing… all everyone does is moan, whine & bitch.”

Bollocks.

While it certainly sums up your contributions (loose use of the word, there), it doesn’t come close to encapsulating discussions on subjects as wide-ranging as indigenous health, gay rights, Middle Eastern politics, superannuation reform, marketing psychology, the status of women, Pan Pacific trade, Australian political history, peer pressure, sexualisation of children, freedom of religious expression, immigration and education access and equity.

Homework: try to come up with a single, substantial, well-considered observation, insight or idea. Bonus points for originality. A gold star if you can inject a soupcon of humour into it.

3 07 2010
Tombarina

Oh, and what’s a cluck?

3 07 2010
Mick

It’s what a chook gone and done.

3 07 2010
Tombarina

My thoughts, too – I’ve just never seen it used as a collective noun before.

3 07 2010
Gazza

I think a nerve might have been hit here. Leave the poor wee bairn alone. He seems easily bruised.

3 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

@shirley
…and dot clearly demonstrates that the bogue is immune to irony and wit.

3 07 2010
Shirley M

Like we needed further clarification! It’s always nice when evidence supports a supposition though, isn’t it?

3 07 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
Just like a science experiment at school…. in more ways then one !!!!!!!!!

3 07 2010
James Hunter

chubby,
those who have no wit see no wit. Similarly i suspect that “Period” has not the wearwithall to generate irony and thus lacks the capacity to enjoy irony.
The only question is what is the most expedeant way of putting a . to .

3 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

so I read the ACTION CONTRACT and I have two questions…
1. how are they going to pay for these things? I think John Howard (the “closet racist”, nice one Indian media) already sold everything which wasn’t nailed down. Perhaps T-Abbs will cut all govt services instead of just most of them?
b. Is this a core ACTION CONTRACT or a non core ACTION CONTRACT?
iii. there is no third question.

3 07 2010
Mick

I think we need a note signed by Tony and Joe ensuring us that they won’t use monies from the mining tax to pay for their promises.

Or is the absence of hypocricy too much to ask for?

3 07 2010
James Hunter

Joe will bring a note from his mum and Foney will bring a note from the Pope

3 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

They will turn to faith-based initiatives to deliver services, which will appeal to the lunatic fringe.

Ostensibly providing services on a not-for-profit basis, but increasing their influence and standing, which deleteriously affects those of us, whether or not we have any religious affiliations, who believe in keeping Church well away from matters of State.

3 07 2010
James Hunter

BoT,
“increasing their influence and standing” ? Maybe with the bogans but not with most of us on this site. I trust

4 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

@ JH

Increasing their influence and standing upon the politicians, who are supposed to actually represent us all, in all of our messy diversity. But the religitards chime in and pipe up rather loudly, despite their relative paucity in numbers and corral many of their parishioners to chip in to fuel their (often warped) agendas.

Seeing this critical mass, some of those pollies of belief (especially the literalists) get a bit shaken and lend a keen ear to this ginger group, (mistakenly) interpreting their views as truly representative of the “majority”, whatever that means.

As much as I despise the apathy of the average Strayan voter, I have no brook for those who wish to dispense with compulsory voting, for their motivation is to hope that the great unwashed don’t bother exercising their franchise, in order for their noisy little cabals to hold more sway than it is truly entitled. Like as is in the USA. But with the way things presently stand in the electoral landscape of Australia, they have to accommodate the undifferentiated masses via subtle dogwhistles, to lure them to support their cause, even if the group’s core principles are otherwise incompatible.

That’s one aspect that I appreciate about this site: I, along with most of us (a few misguided baiters notwithstanding), would flatly refuse the spiked cordial.

4 07 2010
Will S

Religion still has such a grotesquely disproportionate amount of power over our politicians, click –> http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/believers-45m-atheists-nil-20091127-jw77.html

3 07 2010
James Hunter

Fony would be a real loose cannon if he were PM

3 07 2010
common man

@jh that cannon would be supplied by the arms/ammunition manufactorers that bankrolled old george bush…basically another puppet owned by big corporations the only difference is twiggy pulls this trigger

4 07 2010
5 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I joined!! Hilarious!!

5 07 2010
citizen74

Tony Abbott looks exactly like the Big Friendly Giant from the Roald Dahl book “BFG”.

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